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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 91. page
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Where do i go to get a blowjob
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Give my mom a call.
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>>17791494

>local brothel/red light district
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>>17791500
Whats her #

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>tfw everybody you know is fluent in multiple languages but you aren't
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>tfw there's somebody better than you on the things you love / hobbies

What the fuck, why cant I be THE ONE
>>
Why do you want to learn multiple languages?

Also duolingo is pretty good if you want to learn a language
>>
>>17791489

Their Russian course was very bad when I tried it. This led me to believe that the rest of their - not so common - languages courses were that way.

Prefer textbooks desu.

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I am some dude with a tendency towards being a sad faggot.

I just wish I had people to talk to about anything.

Anybody?
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What topic would you like to start talking about?
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>>17791479
Church.
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>>17791499
True man. I've met some great people at my local first baptist church that will listen to absolutely anything, I could tell them I raped a baby and they would take it in and prey for me haha. It's great

A lot of the times if i fuck a girl (with a condom especially) i won't cum. like at all.

without a condom i'm fine, but with my tinder dates i use a rubber.

does this turn girls off- not cumming? we'll eventually just phase out after a while and she's gotten her orgasms or whatever, but i'm wondering if me not cumming is making the girls not come back
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>>17791372

>does this turn girls off- not cumming?

I think that it doesn't matter when the only other alternative is getting a random girl from tinder pregnant and contracting herpes.
>>
>>17791372
I'd say so anon. I asked my ex gf for a quickie and she said "its never quick with you"

Needless to say I came after 10-20 minutes of straight pumping. She came three times and she wasn't even turned on.

I only came 3 times (we never used condoms) out of the 10-15 times we had sex. I believe this was a factor in why we broke up, because I could never cum. When she stopped me the first time because I was taking too long she said "she was all used up"

So yeah m8 I...
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dude, you don't get condoms off the shelf, you get good shit off the internet and you make sure it actually fits right. fuck anything in a walgreens, they all feel like wearing a plastic sock.

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Do you think I could kick this dude's ass if he started shit with me? He used to try to bully me in highschool and he's always posting like a badass on FB. I'm the long haired guy (5'9" 170lbs) and he's the short haired guy (6'0" 180lbs).
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Who the fuck cares?

Also grow up.
>>
Probably.
3'' is only really a factor if both you're both skilled boxers

But he could be.
If you're not trained in taking a punch, just one will take you out.
It doesn't matter how strong you are if he gets a quick jab to your chin and you're down.

Fights are sloppy and messy and the big thing that martial arts train you is to be able to take a punch. Giving one out is less important.

Tyson said "Everyone has a plan until they get fucking punched in the face"
>>
>>17791364

I saw this pasta here almost a year ago. Either this is just the worst pasta ever or this poor kid has been planning a fight for over a year.

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I really dont like how often i post on this board, and im sure none of you like it either

To make a long story short, for lack of a better term I am a pussy. Today I had to leave work because I had a panic attack because I forgot to take my meds. I was crying in front of a ton of people. My anxiety is a fault on my character and I am fully responsible for being this way.

How do I stop being a pussy?
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>>17791305

You're retarded. Go to a doctor and get your mental health squared away.
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That picture is really cool. Thanks OP
>>
> Being a pussy for something you can't controll.

You're a retard.

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How do I stop browsing /r9k/ (or even 4chan) for 14 hours a day?
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Get a job, go to school or be otherwise productive with your life.
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>>17791288
Immigrate to /pol/
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>>17791308
This, basically. I realized that now that I go to college and work at the same time, sleep is crucial. So all I do is study, work and sleep. I rarely have time to post here, but I'm more active on weekends, since I don't have many friends.

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i hate my parent
they always blame me for everything even just a moving of my chair with their stupids reasons

i don't know that this is because i am grow up and want to make my own nest or because they still have behavior of creator

I don't want this feel what should i do ?
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Are you old enough to get a job and move out/be independent?
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>>17791283
yes but unfortunately i change my jobs for 3 times now guess that's my major problem
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>>17791377
Stop changing jobs.
Get a job, work it, even if you hate it, and move out.
Then start looking for a job you don't hate.
Do not leave your current job until you find a new job and are confirmed to HAVE THE JOB. Too many people quit before they get an actual offer.

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guy i knew i just died. just wanna post about it


i wasnt super close my junior year of highschool i had no friends and he would talk to me in our sports medicine class. i would just sit there most of the time and he would talk all about the latest anime shows he was watching we would play 2 player games on ours phones in the back of the room. i actually looked forward to that class. he graduated a year before me and we didnt keep in touch. he would always stop by the pizza shop i work at but he never knew it was me because we hadnt seen each other in a long time....
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At least he died an instant death. But I feel you, my grandma died yesterday as well. Had a stroke that left her a vegetable on sunday, and then it was all over.
Her last few hours weren't pretty, and I'm glad it's over for her, although I wish she'd not have to suffer an iota instead.
>>
>>17791268
Also yes you should go to the memorial. Or at least visit his grave to say goodbye
>>
As someone that has a motorcycle and went out of my way to talk to kids who had few friends and occasionally stick up for them you should go.

If it were me who got hit in a head on(as i almost did yestetday 2 miles from my rural home) i would want you to.

Tell his mother or grandmother that he was nice to you and brightened yoir day.

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How the fuck do you get your gf back when you fucked up and said strong things to her and ended it, we were in an LDR and I told her I didn't feel it was healthy for me. I regret it instantly. She said she still loved me but she couldn't forgive me and said everything happens for a reason. When I tried apologizing soon after. She said no and ive done almost 3 weeks of no contact. I just want her back lads.
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>>17791252
I dont want to lie to you, but that was gg. Lel pleb. It was a strong move, so it's understandable there'd be regret. Are you sure you won't regret if she takes you back but a fine ass bitch is giving you the hots 2 days later? Are you in college?
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>>17791272
Nigga I go straight home from work. Not much is going on with my life and she was a perfect, good girl. I truly fucked up.
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>>17791276
If you've been together for more than 6 months, it might still be salvageable with low chances. Fuck my man, its all the more difficult in a Ldr. You cant visit her casually if shes out of state, eh

Any other anon had similar situations?

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Gf just said she won't have sex anymore unless I start wearing condoms. This feels pretty stupid because we're each other's only sexual partner, and my sensitivity is so low I can fuck her until she becomes exhausted and then still have to jerk it for like two minutes nonstop before cumming. Also, because it's so low, condoms kill my feeling entirely and also my boner.

Should I just end my life at this very moment?
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>another circumcision thread
>>
So wear the fucking condoms or don't have sex. The fuck do you want from us?

I hate when guys try to pull this bullshit. If we don't want to fuck without a condom, then wear the thing or gtfo. Sex is about more than just you. If I'm not comfortable doing it without a condom then that's that.
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>>17791224
>says "sex is about more than just you"
>then proceeds to say immediately afterwards "If I'm not comfortable then that's that."

Yeah, definitely a woman.

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Okcupid is filled with fat asses
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>>17791198
>filled with fat asses
you just described every dating site. If you're attractive go on Tinder. If you're not attractive then go outside and meet people the normal way.
>>
If you're resorting to online dating, you're not in a position to be picky. That obviously goes for everyone else too, but we're discussing your standards, not theirs.
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>>17791202
I'm in that weird middle area where I'm described as attractive by people in person but not the "holy shit" level needed for tinder

I'm sure as shit not fat and I'm sure as shit not ugly and I'm not gonna go with some landwhale

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I don't know what advice I can be given at this point now. I am very tired and feel incredibly desperate right now. Makes me want to act out irrationally somewhat.

I can't seem to focus on small or bigger tasks and my anxiety gets insanely bad when my insomnia plays up. It's like I sleep but never hit that deep sleep, I've only recently been given medication and only the stronger sleeping tablets had the effect of letting me sleep for any period of time. And my memory fades making recollection even harder, it improves when I have periods of time to relax enough, though I've been on edge for over a month now and I can't quite think straight.

I need help but my tendency in the lower mood is to lash out and become very paranoid.

I have had a screwed up, messed up childhood and a poor adulthood. I carry around so much anger that I can feel it burn in my arms and muscles when I'm on edge.

I've been to group therapy and am taking medication but with the onset of insomnia, I'm getting worse not better.

While I was a kid I was bullied by my primary school teacher, and I became completely illiterate at a very young age. My memories of back then are very loose and I can only remember 3 or 4 things from my entire time at my first primary school.

I was abandoned by my father as a child as well, and later when I had the chance and reached out to him, he abandoned me again. That cold sensation numbs the spirit quite coldly.

I've also made bad decisions growing up and haven't had any financial help in anything I've endeavoured in. I feel trapped and honestly like a 'victim' not ironically. I do need help, but I don't know if I'm doing the right thing anymore.
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>>17791197

I feel ashamed doing this but I set up a gofundme trying to help myself out. Obviously, this is completely fruitless and nigh on impossible levels of wishful thinking.

I need money, but everyone needs money, I need time and I have roughly 2 years in the social machine of the government until I can start seeking alternate aid in its convoluted system. Honestly, I wish I could just win the lottery or have one of those bizarre lucky breaks in something.

Sorry if this depresses anyone, I'm just...
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I know how you feel. Sometimes I feel like I can't get it together, and I get angry at myself or my friends or family. I'm restless, and I can barely sleep at night. Just keep on moving, That's really the only thing we can do. I know this sounds like a fucking joke, but I got your back, OP.
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>>17791197
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLjelIPg3ys

Don't need many words. Pretty much explains itself.

Rule 1:
Don't explain yourself. It only opens you up to attack.
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Rule 2: Always respect thyself. No one trusts someone who doesn't trust themselves.
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Rule 3: Accept the truths. This does not mean acknowledge all lies.
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4. Deny oneself. To become is to to succumb, is to annihilation.

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I've probably posted on /adv/ 3 or 4 times in the last week about the same girl. I can't fucking wrap my head around how to think about her and it's really annoying at this point.

Anyway, she's my manager (she's 26, I'm 23) and gives off weird signals. I can't tell if she's actually interested in me, or if I'm just really full of myself and am reading things wrong.

Ok, well first, this is part of the reason I'm not sure about anything is that she's really friendly in general and is nice to just about everyone...
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Just ask her out for a drink after work, if she says no then she said no, just live with it.
Do you want to live forever in maybeland?
>>
OP, that's a reasonable thing to worry about, thankfully I am here to help.

You are thinking about jumping face first into cold water, you need to get your feet wet first.

Before asking her out, scope out the situation...flirt with her a little, find out if she has a boyfriend, anything that will give you ammunition so you can properly go for the kill.
>>
>>17791185
kind of, I've been here all my life.

I read this thing that hunter thompson wrote, saying "those who wait will fall victim of circumstance" and I feel like that's whats gonna happen.

Every time I get close to actually asking her out, or an actual chance pops up, I just freeze. On most days, when I'm not thinking about any of that, I'm really comfortable around her.

But on days where I'm thinking "should I ask her out? should I do this?" I fall into a rabbit hole of "what ifs?" and just don't do anything.

I feel like all of this would be much easier if I just turned off my brain for a bit.

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I'm planning on going to a bar in a nearby city for the first time. I hear it's a good place to "meet new people" or whatever. I guess I have a better chance of meeting someone of the opposite gender there than in my room...

What should I do there? How should I act? What do people even do in bars?
9 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Drink, get drunk, talk to random girls, get rejected, get over it, talk to more girls
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>>17791212
wait, I can do that? Just spontaneously talk to girls I'm not previously acquainted with, and NOT get arrested for it on the spot??
Why don't more people go to these places??
>>
>>17791238
Well if you're not an obese ugly cuck, you can. Just be polite and know when to back off. And don't get shit faced drunk, just a slight buzz to get the tongue rolling is fine.

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Is 26 too old to start approaching girls?

I just started...is there any chance I still have time to meet the right girl?
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No.

Yes. 26 is still very young, keep your age in perspective.
>>
>>17791113
Sorry mate, if you didn't lose your virginity by age 13, and have at least 10 girls under your belt by the time you graduate high school, no girl on the planet will ever hold your hand after 18.
>>
>>17791121
can confirm. the 3 girls i've been with, all of which were after i turned 18, didn't exist

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How long do you have to be romantically involved someone to be in love with them and not just infatuated? I've been dating this girl for about three weeks now and I already have strong feelings for her. I'm ticking all the boxes to be beyond infatuation, but I feel like I'm taking my feelings too seriously.
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>>17791093
Idk what the standard time is, but I assume it's different for everyone. I still think 3 weeks is not enough to be sure of that yet.
Personally it took me 2 months to realize I loved her. But every now and then I'd question it to see if I'm right and I'd pass the test for 7 months from that point.

Then, 3 months ago, she just decided she doesn't love me anymore and that brings us to today.

How's your life going, anon?
>>
>>17791130
Sorry to hear that my nigga. Have you moved on yet?
>>
>>17791154
moving on is a meme. nobody moves on

that part of their soul just dies. and as it happens again and again, you're left with an empty husk of a human.

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Got new tires and an oil change and this happened. Never had anything like this happen before. Is this normal or is this guy like a stalker or something? He was pretty cute I guess
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Guys wtf. It's a simple question. Do you ever get texts like this from businesses? It looks like the guy's personal cell number
>>
>>17791034
Sounds like he's trying to talk to you. Most businesses would email before they text.
>>
Well I texted back and he said nothing so I guess it is just something they do. Lame.

When am I getting my own personal stalker? :(

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>1300 words in 2000 word essay
>literally out of ideas on what to write about

Fuck do I do now
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Bullshit
>>
Look for more sources to boost your argument maybe? What type of essay are you writing?
>>
>>17791014
Academic style essay on how chaucer and shakespeare challenged the ideologies of their era (renaissance/ medieval)

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>gf has yeast infection
>it's very weak but never goes away, even with treatment
>won't let me go down on her because she's afraid I'll get an oral thrush
>I'm her second bf and she is my first gf
>I never sucked a girl in my life
>her ex used to suck her regularly
>feel like shit about it

What do I do?
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>>17790995
She needs to see a gynecologist.
>>
>>17790996
She did. They made her use two different vaginal creams, an oral antifungal pill, and I tried making her boric acid capsules but none of that worked
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>>17790999
Tell her to stop fucking douching. It just makes everything worse.

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My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for a very long time and about 2 weeks ago she blocked me and all my friends on Instagram and she claimed she got hacked and isn't making a new one since she never used it. We still talk about getting back together and thats our plane But when i go to see her account i can see that she added more pictures to her Insta i just cant see what. What does this mea? How do I know her posts aren't' with some other guys she doesn't want to know about.
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>>17790977
If I had to jump to conclusions, the most likely answer is that she's posting slutty photos and she thinks she can keep it "separate" from her actual social life. But I wouldn't recommend jumping to conclusions. Make a fake account, pretend to be a stranger, follow her, and see what she's posting
>>
I tried to make a fake account but she wont accept it.
>>
I have good Insta and Nice photos i could try to follow her and Post pics here? Want to give out her account name?

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Does anyone know of someone who would be into doing a anonymous email interview?

Re: my subject line, anyone with an interest in
Furries/Bondage etc.

Contact: studentdesign2017@gmail.com
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Well I'm a big furfag but I just fap to the porn, I don't actually go to conventions or anything.
>>
>>17790959
Would you know anyone who is interested
in the conventions & dresses up?
>>
>>17790964
make a thread on /trash/, tons of furfags there

though I have a feeling the vast majority of them there are like me, just interested in the porn and bizarre fetishes, not really interested in the community.

>be me
>be 21
>be kissless virgin
>fall for the gf meme
>after some effort meet a girl who shares my interests on the internet
>talk with her a lot
>I find out she's diabetic since 8, but I keep dating her out of compassion
Fast forward 1 year:
>Her parents have no money
>She has to drop out
>Both parents over 60 yo and with poor health
>she has no friends, only me and her family
>have to start sending her money so they can pay their bills and food
>magnitude of her emotional problems is now evident
3 months later:
>situation still the same
>she came to "my" house and is living off my money
>she tries to find a job here so she doesn't depends on me
>no results to this day, she has no studies or skills
>she's also very clumsy, can't get most basic things right, can be frustrating as sometimes feels like I'm talking to a child
>she weights around 100kg, diabetes doesn't allows her to stay fit, she can faint while doing exercise
>I don't find her physically attractive anymore
>tell her lies when asked to keep her happy
>she is really needy, both phisically and emotionally, and sometimes gets irritable
>lie some more, and die inside a bit each time I do so

I'm now at the hospital, she fainted and hit herself on the head while she was coming back from a job interview, I've spent 9 hours on waiting rooms and I'm going to spend all night by her side.

I feel like the only reason I'm with her is to make her happy, but it has started to take a toll on my health and studies, I skipped classes to stay with her today. Even if she finds a job her health is terrible and visits to the hospital will be frequent and will increase over time, probably ending in a premature death.

I'm a cold bastard for thinking about leaving her? I'm not sure for how long I'll be able to take this, the only reason I haven't left her yet is I would emotionally destroy her.

What can I do?

Being a kv wasn't great, but it sure was much, much better compared to this.

Pic unrelated, a pizza we made
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>>17790945
Clearly you fell for the first piece of tang that rolled around.

Unfortunately you can't leave in a situation such as yours and not look like a selfish dick head. At this point in time your only option would be to 360 and keep walking.

>pic related OP in waiting room
>>
>>17791019
360? Do you mean 180?
>>
You're not cold at all. You're only fucking 21 and hold more responsibility than her and her parents combined, that's bullshit. I'll be 21 next April and you know what my life is fucking life? I make over $20 an hour, smoke weed all day, party with my friends at least twice a week, have endless supply of alcohol for whenever I want, eat whatever the fuck I want, make music in my free time, work out whenever I want, etc. You can keep this shit up for what, five years at best? You know you can't do this your whole life. Do you really want to marry this...
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I got my first (yes, really, first) friends at like 14-15 when this girl group of equally awkward anime enthusiasts kinda took me in, and we've been hanging out doing weird nerd shit ever since, bonding over weeaboo stuff I've never really gotten that into, and observing in confusion how everyone we went to school with started getting engaged, married, pregnant and generally "growing up" while we're all 20-22 and still doing teenager shit. They're all kinda uncomfortable with the existence of men in general and keep making jokes that I "don't count". I mean, they all pretty much roast the shit out of each other anyway and I'm just as fat, ugly and hopelessly virgin as they are so that's comfortable.

Anyway a long samba starts with me getting sick, hospital runs and losing a fuck ton of weight, having to buy new, decent clothes because of drowning in the old ones, and letting my sister's pestering hairdresser-student friend practice on my hair, I've kind of stopped looking like myself.

And the joking has shifted tone a lot, gotten weirdly sexual and I'm not sure how to handle this gracefully. Like, they're my friends, I look at them pretty much the same way I see my sister, and even if I wanted to, dating one of them would shatter the whole group.

It could just be my anxiety talking but I keep getting this feeling of impending doom, like the situation is so fragile that a single thing I fuck up is going to ruin a social circle I've had a home in for almost ten years, and I don't know how to unwind it.
6 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17790934
If self-improvement would shatter your social life, then it sounds like you've already outgrown your friends. This happens sometimes. Social "groups" naturally fall apart over time, you'll find out who the REAL friends are because they'll stick by you anyway and encourage your growth
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>>17790955
It's not really self-improvement as much as my comfort-zone appearance-wise shifting somewhere more socially normative.

I just don't know what to do with them actually sexualising me.
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>>17790968
So in non-Tumblr terms, you've become more attractive, which most people would consider "self-improvement."

You should just laugh it off as a joke when that's all it is. If one of them is taking it too far and really making you uncomfortable, you can just tell her that she's making you uncomfortable

Older but not wiser, the thread for the 25+ anons.
52 replies and 4 images submitted. Click here to view.
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33yo oldfag here, extremely immature when it comes to feelings. I think I'll never sort my shit out when it comes to relationships.
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Ill be joining you all in 15 days... im doing a masters in biology but i still feel like the 13 year old i once was
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I always wanted to make a programmers guild on 4chan. Something where skilled programmers can get together and share skills. I planned on starting with a discord. I would prefer people who were older since I'm older myself. Anyone interested in such a thing who is already a worker in the technology sector? I know I could go to /g/ but meh, wanted to try my luck here since I'm looking for older people. I'm thinking to have algorithm tests that people have to pass to get in.

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/thank/sgiving General!

For those of us who are trapped with our shitty families for at least 24 hours

How are you holding up? I had to come down a day early so I get an extra dose!
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>>17790896

cancelled my flight the day before i was supposed to fly out. for some reason i thought going for a full week would be a good idea?

now im just staying home enjoying the comfy with my dog.
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>>17790896
I'm gonna have to stock up on piss jugs and tendies for this one, gotta make a convincing sign. I have shit to do.
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>>17790896
I won't even see my family, because everyone is estranged/doesn't care.

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Do a lot of girls find "alpha" guys not attactive? I'm most attracted to submissive guys with small dicks and pleasant voices that are loud during sex. Most of my friends are looking for a strong, confident guy so I'm feeling kinda weird with that.
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>>17790860
Well consider yourself lucky because you'll really get to pick and choose what guy you want with those tastes.
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>>17790860
It's not common. Most women prefer men who know what they want and aren't afraid to get it.

Are you on birth control by any chance?

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Yo my dad is always making fun of me. And always tries to put words in my mouth. Gets defensive and mad over the numbest things. If I ask him why is he doing that, he will go off on a tangentand start saying things that happened 5-15 yrs ago. He is like a thug. Gets in my business and shit. What could I do?
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>>17790802
He is literally provoking me to fight him. Both he and my uncle.
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Don't interact?
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>>17790802
When you see him tell him be ducking down
That you not romping around
And that he better be ready and prepared to be stomped in the ground

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Hey /adv/ this is my first time posting here, I am in dire need of help.
My mum was diagnosed with a brain tumor about 3 weeks ago after having a stroke at work, we are going in tomorrow to know whether or not it is cancerous or benign , because of where it's placed in her brain she WILL need chemo/radiation therapy . She is emotionally a wreck and the loss of her hair will make her miserable.

I need ideas in order to help her with boredom for the weeks she will only be sitting around with nothing to do. She can't move around well because half of her body...
Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
12 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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Psp vita
Adult colouring book
Online course
Phone games
Puzzles
Crosswords
4chan
Writing poems or songs
Making a bucket list
Hope that helps
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>>17790801
You bought your mother a colouring book? Why are you treating her like a child? Ask her some of her preferred genre's and get some stuff in that category, and as a side note perhaps you could read it along with her? It would give her somebody to talk to about it, which is almost as enjoyable as actually reading a book series.
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>>17790812
Coloring book might be useful because it requires precise hand movements that might be affected after a stroke, so it's not a bad idea at all.


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