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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 93. page
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How do I become a dominant figure to a woman without coming on too strong or being rapey?

I always read about how women crave a strong dominant man, and I guess due to autism, I've turned off a couple a girls when I experimented with what I thought was "dominant behavior". When planning a date I'll make a quick decision on where to go, a girl will say "well what about this place?" I'll say "no. Let's do (my way)." Then she gets pissed and doesn't respond.

I'll be having sex with a girl and think "hmm,...
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10 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
>>
This can't be real.

Your issue is that you're trying too hard. You're not being dominant, you're trying to act dominant and failing and you're being needy. You act that way not for yourself, but for them. To impress them, to win their approval. You feel like you NEED them to accept you. That's exactly the kind of behavior that turns women off.

And yeah, they can usually tell. If you're not a good actor your actions will come off as robotic, unnatural and insincere. And that's turning women (and people in general) off more...
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>>17789894
>I always read about how women crave a strong dominant man,


That's like believing that all women prefer vanilla ice cream to chocolate.

There are as many different sexual tastes or preferences in men as there are women, and so the odds are that if you try to treat all women the way you 'always read' all women want to be treated, you are going to offend more than you attract.

Rather than trying to turn yourself into someone 'all women'...
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>>17789943
>why not devote your energies to getting to know each woman and discovering what she individually likes in a man?

Because Chad can waltz in, grab them by the pussy, in 2 seconds and I want to keep the self-cucking to a minimum

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I have a friend with anorexia.

How can I help them? How can they treat themselves? He says its always been with him.

I don't keep direct contact and instead just through distance.

What can be done?
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>>17789886
>a friend
>them
>themselves
fucking transfags, go back to >>>/lgbt/
>>
Anorexia is first of all a mental disorder that just happens to have severe physical implications. If your friend doesn't want to get better, there's really nothing you can do. Professional help is the only thing that could help, encourage your friend to seek it.
>>
Anorexia is just a "scientific" catchphrase that jealous fat people use to keep skinnier, more attractive people under control.

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My boyfriend didn't want to have sex last night because his lips hurt and he was tired...

How do i get over the idea that men should always want to have sex?

Why did he say this?
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>>17789870
He said it because he was tired and didn't want to have sex. Sex can be pretty physical. Exhaustion feels pretty much the same to most people.
>>
>>17789877
I think i refined my brain from being on 4 chan an camming, so many horny guys who are like "id nevr b 2 tired 4u bby" but probably would be. Thanx porn. But actually though his sex drive is a bit lower than mine which is why I do that in the first place. I try to masturbate without porn but it's just faster to do it with it...
>>
You probably don't do enough during sex. This seems entirely likely simply because you have the preconceived notion that all men should unconditionally want sex so most guys you've been with did all the work.

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>Supposed to go out with female friend and a bunch of her friends for birthday
>She cancelled that, suggested we just get dinner together and go back to her place afterwards
Is she asking me to fuck her
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>>17789848
Well this could be a good start
Stay alert but don't focus on it, it's maybe only platonic
>>
>>17789848
At lest she wants something from you. what you cannot know, unless you accept the date.
>>
>>17789867
I guess I should mention that going out for dinner is a regular thing for us (note I never pay for her so it's not like she's using me for a free meal), she's just never suggested to go back to her house afterwards.

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Whores like pic related get tons of free stuff for just enjoying themselves and looking somewhat attractive.
>be average looking girl
>know how to take good pictures
>get anime/tumblr/meme haircut
>put in contacts
>make silly faces
>post on social media
>get 10000 beta orbiters
>admirers buy them actual things

How...
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>>17789832
Then you turn older than 25 and these girls only scream immaturity. Girl in pic related will end up selling being a "hair stylist" and boy oh boy I sure would want her to be the father of my children.
>>
>>17789841
Who cares what people outside the target audience (who brings you profit) think?
What are you even trying to say with that last sentence?
>>
>>17789832
Not sure anon. I'm a cute girl, I draw lewds and make music and my online presence is still -1
I'll be monitoring this thread, it's obvious you need more that just being "somewhat attractive"

I haven't been feeling well for a while. I came here a few weeks ago about suicidal feelings and I'm sort of over that but I feel so dead everyday now.

I'm in community college and this semester I thought I could do this. In response to a lot of outside problems earlier in the year I thought being a more productive person, getting a job on top of 5 classes would help but then classes ended up being much harder; I was constantly tired and unfocused in everything, I had no free time at all and later being prescribed adderall.

I remember being able...
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But my doubt mainly came from this girl. We were very close, she told me we were friends and things got really personal and she understood I was going through shit early on but also seemed to enjoy me and I really liked her. Yet she cut me off without word and when I talked to her later she was all angry saying I made her uncomfortable. Tried telling her I undertood and still wanted to be friends but she's like "I can't do that" then later saying good bye.

I realized how bullshit it was much later but couldn't figure out what to do. Noticed with people I try my best to just talk things through before trying anything else and yet I'm always being bullshitted greatly. Constantly looking back at myself and others wondering what happened I'm trying my best to move on but not doing good either.

I'm usually calm but a lot of my bursts of anger or urges to break things have recently come from her because she was a more positive outlook, and with others I at least was in some conflict. She sort of just did what she did unexpectedly. I feel life isn't good anymore, it wasn't all her fault but it's one of the things that was unneeded and dragged me down.

I told myself I wouldn't go back with anyone yet she keeps running through my head or her face pops up on instagram which I can't bring myself to take her off of; I just want to message her and call her out for the shit she pulled on me, I've been wanting to, but I also want to see if we could make things work out again. Recently had to force make up with a friend because I see him around school now and he kept bothering me but it was never as bad as it was with the others and he kept being friendly it makes me wonder if I should give anyone else a try at all (because most people don't deserve another chance and I only bothered because he keeps popping up)

Is there anything I should do at all?
>>
>>17789807
You don't handle it, you drag it with you like a sack of rocks until it goes away
>>
>>17790052
Well that's one way of thinking about it

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49 year old male
Married 24+ years
5 sons
I've owned my own business (some worked, some failed)
I've worked for other people
My youngest is very young, my oldest out of college.
AMA/offering advice
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Better to apply for a job at Home Depot / ups / Amazon or get one through a temp agency?
>>
>>17789804
blatant self-bump
>>
>>17789804
Hi from /r9k/!

What is your wife like? Are you happy with her? Have you ever cheated?

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I have a date tonight. I have never felt such anxiety. I haven't eaten all day, my mouth and tongue is burning up, I just want to crawl into bed and stay there.

Fuck it, /adv/, I actually have a date and I'm going to spaghetti the shit out of things. Please help me, please reassure me in any way you can
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>>17789794
You realize that women are just people like everyone else you have ever interacted with.

Protip: If you don't treat it like a date, things will fall even more in your favor.
>>
>>17789802

How to treat it then? She's hot and seems to have her shit together.
>>
>>17789865
you're going out to have fun and to get to know a girl, not to prove something to her or to yourself. What's there to be anxious about?

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My friend wanted me to proofread a piece of his and I'm stuck on what to do with this one part:
>The simplicities and the complexities of plants are an absolute wonder - the physiology that sustains the life of a plant and their vital contribution to humanity, which sustains us
It feels very wrong or, at the least, clunky but I'm not quite sure how to fix it without completely changing the meaning.

Any advice?
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>>17789789
>I'm not quite sure how to fix it without completely changing the meaning.

You don't need to change it. Tell him its unclear and tell HIM to change it to something else.

just highlight it.
>>
>>17789796
I get what he's trying to say, that everything after the dash are examples of the wonderful simplicities and complexities of plants, but it looks clunky as hell.

Should I just tell him that?
>>
>>17789789
He's talking about at least two separate things that do not logically go together, and jamming them into a sentence fragment that is ungrammatical.

I don't know what he really wants to say, but it MIGHT be something like this:

That plants contain both simplicities and complexities is a wonder. So, too, is the way the physiology that sustains them contributes to their ability to sustain us.

But that will only work if it follows or precedes specific examples of plant simplicities and...
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Does anyone feel they think in a different time-wavelength to everyone else?

Everything seems like a ephemeral blur and all of life's challenges kind of seem like trivial matters compared to the thought of my existence concluding in 20,000 days or so...
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>>17789787
Yeah, middle school was a """"fun"""" time. It'll go away if you grow up.
>>
>>17789787
EDGY
D
G
Y
>>
>>17789800
>complaining about people being immature

How do you even stand being on this board for more than a minute?

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im a black girl looking for a dom or switch under 35
I really don't care if he's fat. Actually, that's better because that means he's bigger than me

How do i find him?
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in real life slut
>>
>>17789788
Stop.

Anyone have real advice?
>>
Where do you from?

>what's aphex twin? Ulrich who? that sounds weird lol are you a nerd? why don't you like drake
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>>17789746
Why are you allowed to live you pretentious nerd?
>>
>>17789749
So I could skullfuck your mom you kike faggot
>>
>>17789762
delete your account

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>be me
>clinically depressed
>love of my life leaves me because of her own depression
>spiral down hardcore, nearly kill myself
>sleep around a bunch
>hang out with a chick friend I met a few years ago
> she pulls the "my partner cheated on me so we just split up, buy me a drink" card
> I pull the "nahnahnahnah my partner just split up with me, you should buy ME a drink"
>She does
>We fuck
>best sex I've ever had
>two days later she's back with the dude who cheated on her
>I keep sleeping around
>end up in a relationship
>realise I'm still too depressed and hung up on my ex for this shit
>break her heart
>drunk message the chick who was really good at sex
>"I just split up with another partner, buy me a drink"
>she responds
>"Hey same, I broke up with dickhead again, we're both obviously too unstable for romance so do you want to just be best friends but also tie me up and choke me?"

Is this a good idea?
We're both obviously pretty shit, but can fuck buddy systems actually work? Will shit hit the fan?
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>>17789735
U get llaid you're fine. Jk
Idk, u both seem to "understand" each other. It could turn in to something more intense that you ever felt. Why not give it a try?
>>
There's only one way to find out. Depression shouldn't stop you from pursuing happiness, but it's also no excuse to hurt others with no regard for their feelings.

My advice to you if you try it:
Don't be a piece of shit
Maybe try to help each other heal from your the respective shitshows of your lives
>>
>>17789747
This, OP. You have a very interesting situation with that girl, how openly you communicate and can relate to each others' current life happenings. I say go for it too, it could develop into something amazing. Maybe you end up dating, in the end, or become really close friends, or something else.

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I want to start an account in Instagram, but I don't want to post pictures of me yet because I'm losing weight, I'm hitting the gym and I don't like my body appearence. my face is ok (in my opinion), I need a few more months until I get in my ultimate form of self pleasure.

I understand a bit of fashion and I like to repost stuff that I enjoy to see or makes me happy.

Should I open an account for reposting until I get good for pictures?
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>>17789724
Instagram isn't made for reposting. It is made for your own pictures.
What do you do in your life? Post pics of the shit you do.

I don't like posting selfies, but I like travelling, hiking, cooking, books and interior design. My Instagram isn't bad even without pics of me.
>>
>>17789728
Yeah that's another problem, I don't take much pictures frequently. I'm a I.T technician so I don't go out much from my office.

But I guess I get it what you mean.
>>
>>17789724
kek angry joe?

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Is it natural for fat unhealthy girls to have horrible smelling pussies? My ex girlfriend weights probably 250 and her puss smelled horrible. Is it true that all unhealthy girls vaginas smell like that?
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>>17789681
how rank is a fat unhealthy uncut guys dick? RANK
>>
It's just nature trying to ensure that land-whales have a very tough time reproducing.
>>
Diet, hygiene and genetics take part in one person's overall scent but genetics play a small role. Like it could be slightly bland and musty, or just full on tangy, but diet and hygiene are usually the contributing factors. More sugar for example could lead to a yeast imbalance. More meat and carbs could lead to a stronger and more repugnant scent. Less water consumption could intensify the smell, more dairy and cheese that isn't feta, goat cheese, or Greek yogurt can be a bad thing too. Spicy foods tend to affect scent too. Coffee and alcohol is also bad.

Sweet...
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I think my Dad married my dream girl, and I think she offered her hand purely to spite me. I don't know what to do. He's living my dream.

This betrayal is ultimate. I can't believe he would do that to me.
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>>17789657
Wow shot that sucks op. What happened?
>>
To be fair, dads are always better than the sons. I'd fuck my boyfriend's dad.
>>
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>>17789666
I don't know. All I know is I feel betrayed. Every other woman thinks my dad is the "one", this time he found one that can handle him and that's cool I guess. Why did it have to be her, I have a feeling she did it just to punish me.

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>be me
>Half of a year after breakup and still hanging in there
>Doing okay other than triggers that I see. I'll see her name (Ariel) and then see the mermaid which she always identified with. I'll see little things we used to do despite the fact that I'm living half the country away.

How do I manage these emotional triggers? I'll be doing perfectly fine until I see one of them and then I'll be on bedrest for the rest of the day. Can someone help me...
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>>17789628
Just imagine the triggers had you not moved. I think you are doing fine. I picked out one horrible thing she did and every time I saw or heard a trigger I force myself to remember that. Didn't take long and when I got triggered I felt disgust instead. Win
>>
>>17789648
Not a bad idea. It's hard to remember the bad times when the good times were so good, but we did break up for a reason.

Any other suggestions anyone?
>>
>>17789759
You could kill yourself

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I'm in my mid 20s and I really miss watching anime. It's just that I can't find anything aimed at my demographic. I used to watch a lot of stuff in my teens but I'm really not into those anymore.
currently watching dragon ball super but more for nostalgic reasons than anything else
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Most anime is aimed at adults...
>>
Try kill la kill great anime
Is really done in an old school manner
>>
>>17789744
This is factually untrue.

Fucking done with women. They can be completely into you then lose all interest just because of one word or one thing you happen to write in a text that for whatever reason doesn't agree with them. I suppose they have so many fucking options they can afford to be so picky.

Online dating sucks as well. Its the same story, your entire character judged on the basis of some short and inconsequential PM's.

I was starting to become more pragmatic about dating and life in general. Well fuck pragmatism. If I can't have the one I want, if I can't have...
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>>
because we will kill, die and do everything to get into their wet hole of heaven
>>
slutty skanks are the source of all the world's misery

if there actually existed loyal females and I met one of them, I could literally endure any form of pain and suffering under the sun

but they just don't seem to exist
>>
Everyone is looking for love

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My partner and I have vastly differing political views. I feel its becoming a deal breaker, but I don't want to hurt him, and I don't really know what to do.
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Just recently lost a relationship due, in part, to this and it sucks. Best thing is honesty. The longer you keep you keep your Obama fetish porn under the floor boards the more painful its going to be when they find it.

Also, if the're being an asshat about your views instead of actually having a respectful and civil conversation then fuck'em. Bye Felicia
>>
>>17789581
>breaking up with somones based on political views
That's really fucked up.
You deserve to be alone.
>>
lay it out on the table that you guys have different views.

either persuade him to take your side or conform to his, or agree never to talk about it.

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Tell me how to become a male pornstar. I can last a while but im only 5" and im skinny. Also i want to do mainly tittyfucking
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Lmao, you won't become a pornstar if you've got a 5 incher buddy
>>
its about being able to come on demand and providing an erection on demand
on camera
while ppl are telling you what to do

go to casting or some shit if thats your goal, its not as easy as it sounds
>>
You need a bigger dong sorry buddy. Your best bet is to get a cam whore and do sex acts on cam for money.

Is it possible to fix heart damage from long term eating disorders? Is it good enough to be a healthy weight and live healthy?
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I'm not sure what "good enough" is but it's a start.
>>
There are procedures and treatments for repairing damage to a heart. Figure out what caused the disorder. How bad the damage is and talk to a doctor about treatment options.

Healthy, is a subjective term. Figure out a life style that enables you to be proactive towards the things you want in life.
>>
>>17789538
I mean, if I live normally long enough will my heart repair itself?

>>17789553
The damage isn't bad enough to repair with surgery.

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feeling embarrassed for sperging out while completely wasted with a group of girls the other night... considering at least one of them was pass-out drunk, they're likely to just chalk it up to intoxication, right?
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Sperging out is pretty vague, what did you do?
>>
>>17789504
This

Story Time OP!
>>
>>17789522
well, the long and short of it is that I idiotically decided to get drunk with my ex and some of her friends. I was still extremely emotionally distraught by the whole breakup but tried to get through the night and just have a good time. Eventually I started feeling really anxious, had to leave the room because I didn't feel safe or in good company among her friends, knocked over a few shot glasses and smashed them, started weeping profusely and at one point even blurring the lines between the emotional trauma...
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My 3 year relationship is dead. Wedding plans? Gone. Big house with a picket fence? Gone.

So now what I want to do is finish my Fuck Bucket List. One item left is Fuck a Strange Girl In Cosplay At A Con. What con should I go to for my best chances? Im average to above average body type (IMO). Will probably cosplay something shirtless. Can talk to women like a normal person.
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It's random. I have gone to many cons and it wasn't until recently that a con slut tried to get me. Of course it was a Harley and of course I had a gf ugh.

Just be good looking and get your body cut as you can.
>>
>>17789478
Thanks (op)
>>
>>17789536
It helps to be a part of the series of the kind of girl you want.

Want a Mai? Be Andy or Terry.

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gf 9 months
>she talks about how she hates Instagram and this social media world
>sits on Instagram while we hang out just scrolling through.
>says shit like it's just so shit people post just meaningless shit proceeds to go through it again 5 minutes later.
At first it didn't annoy me, but last week we begin watching a movie I knew would be shit but I didn't care so I watch it anyway and she just sits staring at her phone scrolling through Instagram. It's...
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>>
The Universe is tryin to tell you something. What do you want most out of your relationships? Let the picture come to your mind with as much detail as possible. Once you have it look around you. Do your surroundings match up with what you imagined?
>>
>>17789473
I see, I do love her and when she isnt going through social media she's an awesome girlfriend and we do everything together but it's just this one minor thing that annoys me.
>>
>>17789490
It's not minor when she gives more attention to an app than she does a guy beside her in real life. You are not her top priority but way down the list and that won't change.

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Can bacon be eaten raw?
Without cooking?
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>>
I wouldn't recommend it, there are lots of harmful bacteria in raw meat that are killed when you cook it, like E. Coli for instance.

Why do you ask?
>>
OP, you are a wildman on a dangerous streak with no regard for heaven or hell.
>>
>>17789395
>dangerous steak

my taste in music is garbage. what can u guys recommend to me that isn't the trash that i'm used to
6 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
>>
if only there was a music board or something
>>
Burial, Volar Flex, Clams Casino, Ofdream
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVK2UkKBV5w&feature=youtu.be&a

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GF makes me feel like shit daily. I'm her 1st BF and she's my first GF. Don't want to break her heart. Getting feelings for her friend.
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>>17789325
breakup with them. stop wasting your time and her time
>>
Tell her how you feel. She may come to realize that she is taking out her frustrations on you.
>>
Communication is what relationships are built on my mans.

Talk to her in a calm, unaccusatory way about how you feel and what she can do to help make you feel better.

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>Be me, College student, at work last night
>Work retail, so stocking shelves at 10pm
>Girl on other end of my aisle with her parents. She's probably my age, so like 19/20
>They make their way towards my end of the aisle, browsing the shelves and shit.
>I'm just stocking and taking occasional glances at her because she's a total qt
>She passes by me. I look up, her eyes hit the ground, then meet mine again, then she dips her head down and gives me a smile like pic related
>Heart goes into meltdown god damn

I'm adult, I should know better by now, but fucking hell
>Does a smile like THAT ever mean anything more than just "Oh, we made eye contact, I better smile."?
>Obviously wouldn't have done anything about it anyways because her parents were there, but assuming the next time a girl pulls one of those smiles, is there any socially-acceptable way for someone at work to flirt/ask the number of a cute girl he sees at his place of work WITHOUT it being uncomfortable as fuck?
8 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17789318
the trick friendo is to be natural about it. Try and be clever. Mention something situational or maybe just pretend you are asking her if she needs help, get a vibe from her answer and go from there. Be prepared to talk about shoes and other shit. Might spill your spaghetti the first few times but after a while your responses will sound more natural.
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>>17789326
How far into a regular conversation is it appropriate to say some shit like "Hey, can I get your number?"

That's the hard part for me. I can talk to women just fine. I can create conversation if I need to (Although forcing it is somewhat difficult), but I never know the golden opportunity to ask for the number.
>>
You can ask for her number at any time just make sure you're determined when you do it.

File: getoverher.jpg (140 KB, 1280x842) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
getoverher.jpg
140 KB,
She left me.
3 years and she leaveas me without a word for someone else. She didn't even tell me why. She just showed up with all my stuff and asked me to pack hers.
I can't sleep, Ihave no apetite, and I won't stop freesing.
How can i get over her? Can i get over her?
I'm genuinely considering >an hero.
I don't want to die. I just want the hurt to stop.
37 replies and 7 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>he fell for the relationship meme
don't make the same mistake again
>>
women have no heart anon
you should have listened
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>>17789300
Guess i'm a sucker, huh?
I really hoped. She was redpilled and believed in marrige 'till the end with children and shit.
And then she just replaces me when she feels like it.


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