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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 95. page
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old one reached bump limit


It's nice how you went and lied to everyone in the aftermath of everything. It's nice how you couldn't even give me THE FUCKING DECENCY OF BREAKING UP WITH ME YOURSELF. Great how you're allowed to break any and all promises you made & no one bats a fucking eye but when I called you out for your shit im the bad guy. Thanks for throwing my mental health out the window during that period of time too, it's not like I'd been working really really really fucking hard to get that point. But hey, not at your expense...
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>>17779748
I'm shit at pretty much everything I am doing now. I do not enjoy school even though I used to be a perfect student. I am not happy. Depression has left but that void has been filling with worse and worse anxiety. I can't talk to anyone about how I truly feel in fear of burdening them or having that information used against me somehow. I lost all energy to do anything, even playing vidya is too tiring. I have no clue what I am doing with my life. I may be the only failure in a family of really successful...
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Family sucks, ya know?... But you have to love em, right. I mean they put a roof over your head. They know you in ways you can never know yourself. But also, they're fucking idiots. Legitimate idiots. Like, can't stop talking for fear of silence idiocy. Sweep any problem or uncomfortable topic under the rug kinda bullshit. I should've killed myself then. Tides my teenage self into the riptide and drifted off physically, as I have in every other way now 12 years later...
I should've been the one to leave her. Better yet, I shouldn't have asked her to marry me in the first place. Then the divorce... Then the rotten cheating whore...
I often think back to when I was a kid and was told to just go entertain myself cuz mommy can't be bothered and oh yeah, where is dad? Who fucking knows. Then from total isolation to the brutal public... And at that most vulnerable time in a young man's life. Sink or swim ... Or just fucking float. Float until all those figures swimming around you m make you jealous of the corpses beneath you.
I haven't slept in 38 hours. My body is trembling and I'm not sure if I'm dreaming or not.
.. Then the mental breakdown. 12 years working in dead end customer service will do that to a person. I just checked out. Almost did it. I should have.
Note there is nothing. No job. Not one person to talk to. No food to eat. No sleep. No school, no education. Only this goddamned borderline retarded piece of shit I call family. She'll just keep taking to herself pretending nothing's wrong. It's only been one year yet somehow she's forgotten everything. The breakdown, the hospital, the cops and all to be met with my maddening silence.
I laugh when I'm alone. It's because I'm alone.

It's fine
>>
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I have abandonment issues when it comes to relationships due to past experience. First girl i confessed to completely avoided me after. Second one was an actual relationship. She told me she was moving... i found out a month later she lied. The third fed me all this bullshit about how she's never felt strong feeling towards any other guy like she does for me. She completely cut me out of her life without an explanation. The 4th one fucking hurt. This girl who was literally broken to pieces needed someone there for her and i was there constantly reassuring her that she was...
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> ITT we talk about why we are losers and others try to help us with our situation

Here's why I'm a loser
> meet girl on tinder
> we hit it off online
> get her number and set up a mini golf date
> date goes fucking amazing
> we really click and I have a ton of fun, setting the standard for all the first dates of the future
> she's basically...
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>>17771594
Women are shit and play mind games all the time, we are essentially toys to them. If they one day decide to ghost you then you obviously meant little to nothing to them in the first place.

Now my turn
>loser because I fall too easily for women
>loser because I've never had a girlfriend or any intimate contact with anyone
>loser because I do nothing to get myself out of a depressive rut
>loser...
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>>17771613
We'll it seemed like she really liked me even until the last time I was over at her house

Femanons, would girls just ghost a guys like that? What reason would make them do that? Why?
>>
It seems you can't do anything about it if they decide to just drop you.

I had kinda the same thing going

>Match on tinder
>Meet up, have a good time, take her home 'cause her last train left already and she needed a place to crash
>I offer her one side of my bed, she practically slept only in panties and a shirt of mine
>After I turned off the lights I decided to just fucking do it and snuggled up to her, she hugged me closer I kissed...
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Is it bad that i've had a change of heart about my girlfriend and have gone from wanting to start a family with her to molding her into the catalyst I need to commit suicide?

The past few months have worn me to an al time low, and ive been putting up a facade for her so that she thinks im doing better than I actually am, and its bad enough to where my set-in-stone rule of "children should never outlive their parents" has eroded away into sand. I'm sick of everything, nothings fun anymore, I fake orgasms during sex, i've stopped leaving the house...
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You will cause her irreversible mental trauma if you go through with killing yourself, regardless of what you do to try to counteract it.

Also, you're going to die sooner or later, why rush into it?
>>
>but I don't want her to have a mental breakdown over it, so what do I do?
Get professional help. There is no other way around it, plain and simple. You will permanently scar her otherwise. While you're looking for professional help take a look at the resources in this pastebin.
http://pastebin.com/BSZDiAKd
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>>17789485
Im sure trash wont be missed as you're probably the kind of retard that's sufficed with living a lie all your pathetic life, loser. Know that nothing of value will be lost once you off yourself because you're a joke.

Alright /adv/ faggots listen up
Be me
22
Male
Born cali
Raised cali
Love cali
Short (5"2')
Dropped out of school
No friends
Family hates me
Hate myself a little bitt
Neighbors cat spies on me...and hates me
feelsbadman.jpg

Got work in reno
Got a truck I can use
I'll be living in an RV but it's mine
Not from reno
Not prepared for harsh conditions
Think I might die from no experience
???????
accept job

Any advice on how to survive the season with enough food and rent to lose my verginity?

(Newfag...
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What's the job and what does it pay?
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>>17789386

Life operator
11/hr>>17789386
I think
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>>17789381

Life operator

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Last year, about two months before i met my boyfriend, i was talked into trying polyamory.

I had very low selfesteem and had a hard time saying no to things

So i slept with a few guys and tried to have some cind of relationship with these guys.
I realized lated that they just wanted to sleep with me...

But when i met my boyfriend i made shure that these guys couldn't contact me ever again.
They made me feel so filthy.

I regret everything
I just want to forget it all

But then my boyfriend asked me about it, i felt so disgusted...
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>>17789374
So do that.
>>
Pretend it never happened, he doesn't have to know
>>
It's what makes you human. But if you're here for sympathy or pity then there's something wrong I reckon.

The best thing for you to do now is to learn from your mistakes. Assuming you do not want to do it again. Move forward and do not over think it.

Im in a bit of an awkward situation. I have a scat fetish and a gf for 6 years.

How do I break it to her i want to eat her feces every morning?

Shes a repressed christian girl that goes wild from time to time
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>>17789354
You don't. I have a rape and anime fetish. Despite this, I will never rape an anime girl or my gf of 2 years.

It's called accepting reality and managing your dissapointment at wanting what you can't have.
>>
For the love of god DON'T FUCKING TELL HER.
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>>17789363
Are you serious? You do realize that roleplaying a rape is actually the most popular sexual fantasy for women, right?

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What gets normies out of bed in the morning?
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>>17789263
Habit

(Which can be devolved, stop making poor excuses)
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>>17789265
Well I meant more along the lines of what gives people the motivation to go through the same bullshit everyday than literally how do you force yourself up out of bed
>>
Most normies only need simple things in life to feel content. A desk job, a few friends, social events and some consumerism. They do want for much more and although fantasies of grandeur may occur they never really have ambition or a need for it. They may get down, even depressed, but it's usually very short term.

You likely just have a (natural or developed) desire for more. That can be material, career driven, higher purpose, whatever. You need to find something that fulfills you, that makes you want to get up in the morning. That could be your job, your wife,...
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As a security guard can I legally bludgeon a psych ward patient to death if I need to as long as it's in self defense? For one this specific motherfucker (whom I normally ignore) talks a lot of shit is "starting" to make me angry, two I just have pent up anger and kinda hate people in general aside from my direct family and girlfriend, after working along side nut jobs and criminal pieces of shit on a daily basis. It's not really a moral dilemma as I don't see value in these peoples' lives since they're so fucking shitty to begin with, so much...
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>>17789148
This post will work beautifully for the prosecution at your trial
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You should quit your job.
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>>17789148
you're misusing the word "whom".

that's as far as i made it in your post sry

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Guys
Girlfriend of 1 month wants to have sex but I've only had like 60 seconds of sex in my life with a previous girlfriend. How do I become good at the sex?
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>>17789087

Learn cunnilingus and she literally won't care if you last even 5 seconds.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/zaron-burnett-iii/2013/08/a-gentlemans-guide-to-cunnilingus/

read this, all of it. Seriously, it helps
>>
>>17789087
same way you get good at anything- practice
>>
Teasing and foreplay are always fantastic and it gets both parties buttered up and ready to go if you know what I mean.

Try to figure out what she likes and give her a little bit before taking it away, and then give her a lot of it and take it away again. This could be anything from kissing her neck to the act of sex. One game I like to play is called "just the tip" which is where I rub/insert the tip of my dick around the entrance of her vag while I make out with her. Once I feel ready I'll give her a deep thrust or two and sit there while I make out with...
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>make a craigslist ad
>girl responds
>she stops responding when I give her my snapchat
>google her name
>find her fetlife and facebook

What should I do? Just wait?
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Yes, just wait. And Google empathy ya creep xD
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>>17789167
How am I supposed to know what she's feeling if she's gone =/

I just wanted to get to know her...after all she's the one that contacted me!
>>
She didn't contact you cause your dashingly good looks champ. She answered your ad. Why would what she's feeling matter in this lol. I suspect foul play but regardless that's doing too much bro let her go

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How does a fat guy find fat girls to fuck? Up til now they all said no. I've been told tinder won't work if you're not atleast average looking. What do?
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>>17788951
have you tried feabie?
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>>17788954
Don't even know what that is
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>>17788951
>How does a fat guy find fat girls to fuck?
you don't

fat girls are utter trash, completely mentally unstable

you're supposed to get /fit/ then brutally reject fat girls until they either get skinny of kill themselves

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I love philosophy
I'm probably one of the most literal people you may ever meet if you meet me in person.
I have Asperger's Syndrome.
I've dedicated almost all my life to understanding things. Everything I can.
I usually don't go to other people for advice, because the advice I can give myself is more than, or just as much of what anyone else could tell me.
I don't care if I piss off anyone religious or spiritual.
There's no god, there's no heaven, there's no hell, there's no ghosts, there's no "aura'. We make those up to help us contemplate things while at the same time comforting ourselves. Basically forging explanations for things we can't explain in such a way that we feel comfortable with them.
I don't see people as happy, smart, or even dumb "people" anymore. I see them all as animals. Including myself. That's what we are. People aren't "above" other animals.
I see people as tools, or doorways to other people.

I'm emotionless. Well I try to be.
In reality, I have emotion. Lots of it. I just suppress it because what I know now scares me when I feel and I can't go back to believing in a god because it's just irrational.

Seeing everything for what it really is, I want to go back. I want to be stupid and believe in a god and a heaven and be emotional and have relationships. But I can't. I can't explain it right now, I just believe what I believe and I know it's true. I can't just believe something I know isn't true, I've tried.
There's no special place for us after death and now that I know that, I just want to enjoy life. But I'm beginning to feel like I'm too old to relive my dull childhood and make it amazing and memorable like everyone else's.

When the emotions come back, all this makes me so depressed. I'm already past the point of fearing death. Because once we're dead, we just aren't. We are no more. Absence. We can't regret or feel or be sad that we're not alive. And I'm kind of craving that "release" for lack of a better word.
What do I do?
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>>17788949
What's you opinion on the beliefs of Camus and Nietzsche?

They seem to solve these issues pretty well
>>
Heal. As above so below nigga. Try to entertain thoughts and ideas without needing to accept them immediately. Jesus said not to take his letter as literal but to understand the meaning. The 12 tribes are the 12 cranial nerves and the temple is not the church but is the head. We're all after joy, understanding and liberation amongst other things so let others do that and do it for yourself. We live after our body's die btw bub.
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>>17788949
>I don't see people as happy, smart, or even dumb "people" anymore. I see them all as animals.
Animals can be happy, unhappy and given a definition, it's easy to tell when they are dumb or smart too.

>People aren't "above" other animals.
We're clearly more able to shape our environment for our benefit. Got much better means at sharing and storing information too.

>I see people...
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I just realized that I avoid relationships and sexual encounters because I'm insecure about the size of my dick and it makes me want to kill myself.
What should I do, besides kill myself?
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>>17788897
that depends. how big exactly?
>>
just fyi your hand>random sex
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>>17788933
This.

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not sure what to write. these never turn out right.
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Just say some stuff so we can rip you a new asshole.

Or help
>>
>>17788803
That's a cute haircut and yet you still do look a look like a dude. Also a phone case is pretty lame.

So what's the problem anyway?
>>
>>17788824
okay :)

i want to live a wholesome life and do the right things. be a good friend, make the world a better place. but i feel uncomfortable and discontented with where i am in life. and when i make strides in improving things they're very temporary and eventually i get overwhelmed and it's hard to stay at the baseline.

no idea if this makes sense. it's a feeling that won't go away and gnaws at me. also i get lonely, which i guess is okay.

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So I'm a Communications major and I'm writing a research paper on Women in action films and how they have been portrayed in the last 30 years. I make references to movies such as Aliens, Edge of Tomorrow, Hunger Games, etc, that feature a strong female lead who isn't a damsel in distress. I noticed within my research that when a strong female lead is in an action film, it has a higher box office results (EX: Mad Max Fury Road). So I was wondering if anyone knew any good Mass Media theory that I could use to help support my research paper on stronger female leads...
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>>17788729
Not much of a theory but if I remember right, most movie goers and readers are women, so a movie with a female protagonist speaks too them more directly.
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>>17788729
Nice thumbnail you dumb faggot
>>
Your research paper is YOURS.

Write your own paper and come up with your own theories.

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How to build a social group on the internet? I am a socially anxious loser so going outside and talking to people is not a good idea. I just want someone to talk to, I guess.
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Join Facebook groups about stuff you're into and start interacting there, posting, making comments. Then you're gonna make some friends.
>>
I'll be ur pal
>>
>>17788728
join the /waifu/ thread on /b/

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Hey /adv/. I need some advice here.

i'm in college, currently in my first programming class, because I want to make games in the future.

Throughout the semester so far, I feel like I haven't learned a bit though. not because of the professor (it's an online class anyways) but because I'm so lazy. On pretty much all the homeworks, I just found the code online and used that. And I'm ashamed at myself. Im going through this whole course, and at the end IF I do pass the class, im gonna know nothing because my dumbass didnt want to practice...
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You're going to eventually run into classes that haven't been copy/pasted from the internet and you're going to be fucked. Might as well stop throwing away your money and enroll in a trade school, since you lack the willpower or concentration to enter the regular workforce.
>>
>>17788706
But I don't want to do that.
>>
>>17788754
not him, but
>but i don't want to do that

and i don't want to work 45 hours a week for this job that almost gives me anxiety attacks every day.

i don't want to be paid less than half the minimum wage for what my actual job description is.

i don't want to be in this situation where if i lose this job, i'm homeless.

you don't always get what you want.

holy shit the amount of entitlement in your response is astounding.

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What type of job will let me work 30-40 hours with 0 overtime and faggotry from managers? I just want to go to work, not want to kill myself, come home and spend the rest of my day being cozy.
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you let me know if you find out
>>
Literally any government job. Look at city, county, state, and federal jobs.
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>>17788678
This, Government jobs are best jobs, generally, you don't get fucked with, and even if so, it's not by 100 different managers. And it's almost impossible to get fired, unless you grab them by the pussy.

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Hey. U.S. Navy noob here starting Basic Training in 6 months.

Can you guys scare me? Recruiters only talk about the nice parts of the Navy. I'm fully aware all branches have their own varying degrees of dangerous situations. It's the U.S. military after all. A country constantly in conflict with someone else.

If anyone is wonder why, well, I was a college student, but I never dedicated myself to my studies. Also, my parents tried to chain me up to not join because they believe "I'm being brainwashed into being stationed in Iraq while no scoping...
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you also have a pretty good chance of getting raped by another navyman
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>>17788659
I was already molested between ages 5-7 by my brother because I didn't think incest was an issue. How about something more serious?
>>
>>17788643
Navy basic is a joke, don't even worry about it

> t. Infantryman

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>Be me
>Be 23
>Work at Computer Repair shop for a few months
>Cute girl walks in
>"Hey, I just wanted to see if you guys were hiring"
>Boss says no, Anon just started working here
>She sighs and says ok
>She leaves a resume though
>Fast forward a few weeks
>Customers'...
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>>17788638
>Should I just stop being a massive pussy and ask her out? Also, how would one do that without it being fucking weird?

fucking yes. just ask, it seems you have had some normal discussions already, so how hard could asking to meet up for coffee be? go for it
>>
>Me: Just dress casually for your follow up interview ok?
why are you telling a stranger what to wear, what's your goddamn problem
>>
>>17788655
Ill give it a try

i have a really wonderful boyfriend.
unfortunately, he's set back by his useless degree, school debt, medical condition, and having no car/driver's license.

his experience with work is mostly mcdonalds and factory kind of positions. he's 29 and his medical condition is worsening because of the physical labor his current job requires him to do. going back to school is not an option due to his current school debt.

he's obviously very depressed about his situation and has been for a while. but lately he's been much more motivated and seems...
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better factories
>>
>>17788581
>not an option due to his current school debt.
Does he only have personal loans?

Last time i checked subsidized loans and some federally given loans are put on hold when entering higher education. Obviously interest accrues but you dont have to make payments.
>>
>>17788601
not entirely sure about his debt situation, only that it prevents him from getting another loan to afford school. we live in canada.

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Some of the shit I will say here will not make sense to you, depending on the level of brainwashing you have gone through, but it's an honest truth.

I grew up in a middle eastern country and growing up my life was shit but we always had a very positive view of Americans and American values. Ever since I moved to New York I have improved leaps and bounds as a person. I was born in US but I grew up outside.

Anyways, at various steps in my life I was oppressed. I was oppressed when my TA in chem lab decided not to help me at all but help everyone else. I was...
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Anyways, when i changed my name, all my grades went up by a shit ton ( I was atheist since i was 13), but I still get alot of animosity. Most of the good jobs and opportunities are locked behind Jews in NY.
And since i look like an arabian, I get a crap ton of racism from them man. Italians, Indians, Africans, Hispanics, they are so fucking nice to me, they treat me like a human.

I went to a university in upstate NY and my first experience was with this asshole. That place had a crap ton of Jews and I spent 4 yrs being treated like a rodent, it was only when I moved...
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I want to add that growing up and even until last year I barely cared about Jewish religion or anything like that. I just started seeing a very strong correlation / pattern.
>>
>>17788564
>>17788559
meh some people are racist, just feel good you are not as dumb as them to categorize them all in a certain way like they did to you. I know it isn't much solace but there isn't much you can do in your situation. If you want to get out of there I think NY probably has more Jews so try somewhere else in the US and see how that works out for you.

/bizfag here. Never tried /adv so here we go.

Im completely miserable and pretty lost at this point so Im not even sure what to ask

>First girlfriend lasted 4 years
>She was violent and abusive but I didnt know any better
>Raped at 12, 0 sex drive
>Made me feel shit for wanting sex
>Left me with $20,000 in debt

>Second girlfriend
>Raped and...
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>>
dump her, move away and find a way to pick dates that prevents you from finding and choosing traumatized rape victims all the goddamned time
>>
>>17788531
eh, find a girl without issues, why are you even going for a woman with some kids... are normal ladies that hard to find?
>>
>>17788531
Ayo, hold up.

let me get this straight: you've got a chick living with you who doesn't do anything (not even lets you fuck her) and on top of that you're even raising her kid?

That's some pretty top-tier cuckolding you pulled off there. Why the fuck are you even with her? Do you get a kick out of being miserable?

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I recently got a new girlfriend and we've been exploring things sexually and she told me that she doesn't give blowjobs, period. No penis in mouth ever. This is very important to me, I want this in my life. I accessed the situation and I broke up with her. I told her straight out that I was sorry but I can't be with a girl who isn't willing to satisfy me in the ways I like.

She doesn't want it to end though and she said we should work it out and maybe come to a compromise but she still doesn't wanna give me a blowjob.

What do I do,...
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16 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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she'll never be pleasant to have sex with, who cares, walk away. unless your into a crying blowjob, which would be a special thing but not worth pursuing a horrible relationship to get
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>>17788540
>unless your into a crying blowjob
>>
Why do you NEED a bj? If she doesnt care if you ever go down on her i dont see how this is a big deal to you. Tbh thats a very stupid reason to break up with someone. Just because she doesnt give a bj doesnt mean that she wont do everything else to try to please you. There are TONS of sexual ways to please a person. Shes better off without you if you feel this way op.

guys. I start work on Monday but I've been NEET for so long I don't even know how to have a job anymore. It's 45hours a week
10 replies and 2 images submitted. Click here to view.
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45? why
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>>17788490
Show up on time, don't make waves, and do everything you're told to. That alone can make you an exemplary employee.

I've been in your position before. You'll get used to it after two weeks.
>>
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>>17788494
seriously. I don't even know where to start. What if I say something wrong to somebody or what if someones being a bitch to me? I don't even know what to do

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>Have so much homework to do
>So depressed an unmotivated I couldn't care less.

What do I do? How do I get focused
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>>17788488
If it's that hard for you it shows you have no interest and maybe should look at other things.

Or you're just a lazy shit. The only cure for that is pic related.
>>
Imagine coming in on the first day of class, trying to re-add the same class that you just failed with the same professor. You couldn't add it normally because grades are posted after the regular registration date. So the teacher looks at your form and just sighs. Trust me, that's a real shitty feeling and situation.
>>
>>17788558
It's a little bit of both desu.

I've just been outright miserable and I just can't be dammed to do anything because of it. I can't stay focused, I have no drive, I have no idea what I want.

File: image.jpg (48 KB, 480x270) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Hello /adv/
I am an 25+ woman

Back when I was young, I have been abused mentally and physically for 11 years
I am 8 years in the mental health care trying to recover from PTSD and more.
I have never finished school and cannot work due my mental state.
I feel old and feel like I have no chance for a normal future.

Please, I am looking for a way to improve my life!!
8 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
>>
get a job anyways? there are many different jobs
>>
>>17788504

I really want a nice job, but I was told to first have some more therapy before trying so.

It is difficult to be among many people when your head is just overwhelmed and you start panicking and get suspicious of people. Sorry, my English is bad..
>>
>>17788487
You're a woman, you'll be fine.

Women are victims by default in present-day society, so they always get a free pass at everything.

Also, it looks like you're a real, honest to God victim, so you'll get double the sympathy.

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I am bored out of my mind by the miles of suburbia and parking lot scenery. It will take me a while to get the credentials to move abroad. In the meantime where should I move in the US? Or Canada?

I've been looking at the Midwest, Hawaii, Colorado and Portland. I really want to experience another culture before I leave the USA forever which is why I'm eyeballing snowy Wyoming even though I fear I might be bored out of my mind and as a fedora with a diploma I might not enjoy talking to the fundies expect to meet.
21 replies and 6 images submitted. Click here to view.
>>
If you are bored in southern California, you will be even more bored in the Midwest. There is literally nothing to do. In Cali u can go outside every day of the year and there are plenty of things to do outside. In the Midwest its fucking corn, grass, trees, and hicks
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>>17788436
I'm a southern Californian and I've lived in Portland for the last 2 years

Ask me anything
>>
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>>17788441
I am not a social butterfly, more of a NEET really who doesn't fit into the shallow materialism here. There honestly isn't much to do where I live except shopping, trying new restaurants, or driving an hour to the beach which I have seen hundreds of times. I am hoping the Midwest will have more meaningful conversations too. I might even be able to dive into books in scenic places or get into Astronomy, because look at this, light pollution means no stars to look at tonight, as usual, just airplanes.

File: feet.jpg (37 KB, 660x503) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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How can I get sex on the first date?

Okay, obviously there are going to be some women who would never fuck on the first date, but let's say I'm dating a woman who would be willing to do so under the right circumstances. What are some good pointers/advice/tips/etc on what I can do to get it there?

I don't care that much for the answer, I'm not desperate for sex. Just curious.
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The only time I've had sex it was on the first date and I wasn't even planning on getting with her. Probably pretty naive of me since we were watching shit on Netflix but I went down on her and she was all like "fuck me" so I yolo'd it.
>>
>>17788449
So just yolo it?

That's a pretty universal answer
>>
It's not that hard, just invite her to your place and do it.

File: Death-metal-musicians.jpg (46 KB, 640x480) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Hey everyone what's a good job for someone that likes to make people happy I'm a cook but it's stressful as Shit. Any suggestions?
10 replies and 1 images submitted. Click here to view.
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>>17788417
Landscaper?
No idea if it's a good job or not, just the first relaxing thing that makes people happy that popped in my mind.
>>
>>17788417
I'm a bartender and my job is to make people happy!!! It's easy
>>
>>17788461
I second this


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