My mom always told me that people show you who they are the first 5 minutes you meet them, you just have to pay attention. I've found this to be astoundingly true, but I think I'm a lot more observant than most people. Also I don't know if this counts as "advice" but >The trouble with trouble is it starts out as fun.
>The purpose of driving on the freeway isn't to catch up to the person in front of you. >It's perfectly possible to keep your foot steady, maintain your speed, and not fall behind or ride someone's ass >Other drivers are your peers, not obstacles. Diving between lanes is exactly why traffic is bad. >Don't get any closer to the person in front of you than your reflexes will allow. At all times, be prepared for a scenario where the guy in front of you slams his brakes without warning.
I feel like I'm a much better driver for the advice I got from my brother. Ironically, he's a complete douchebag on the road and has spent more time with a revoked license than a working one.
>>14778014 You can't blame yourself for being human. People hold each other and themselves to the standard of always being intelligent, brave, and honest. But the fact is that sometimes you're intelligent, and sometimes you're a hair away from being scraped from the surface of the planet by your stupidity. Sometimes we're brave, and sometimes we're just chicken shit. Sometimes you do the right thing, and sometimes you won't know what the right thing is.
>>14778327 I don't know. I think things that seem little at the time. For example a good friend of mine married a guy who turned out to be a compulsive liar. Turns out the first words out of his mouth when he met her were a lie. a little white one, just to try and get to know her, but shit like that. Whether they're negative or not, how up front they are, that kind of thing. >>14778336 Everyone I know who disagrees with me tends to make shit choices involving other people.
>>14778453 Some people do, but I find them really easy to see through how people are socially. Sometimes I just get an uneasy feeling about them, then it turns out they deal meth or fuck their mother in law.
>>14778461 Maybe you can't. But I've never been truly surprised by anyone. There have been a few people I've been unsure about but they're experts, and I still don't know about them. Full disclosure: I think it helps a lot that my father is an actual sociopath.
>>14778463 >Implying you've met me I've met a whole lot of people in my life. I'm not saying I know what they're up to immediately, but I can invariably tell whether or not they're trouble, whether or not they're worth my time, or if they're just a shit person.
I know it's not true for most people, I don't have many talents in this life, but this is one of them. I have a great collection of friends who are the best people you could ever meet. Every time I've ever gone against my instincts I've regretted it, I learned to quit doing that years ago.
>>14778480 Go ahead, don't trust your gut. See where it gets you. And for the record I never said I was better than anyone. I have a talent. We all have different talents. What's yours other than being bitchy?
>>14778313 It has been proven by psychologists that this works most of the time.
Hence MOST of the time - not ALL of the time.
Some people are exceptionally good at putting up fake personas for situations, while most of us try to maintain a single persona permanently.
The truth is that you can never know enough about someone until you have either lived with them or spent an excessive amount of time with them. If human interaction were so superficial then nobody would ever form long lasting relationships.
The depth of a human being can be discovered with enough pressure and time.
>>14778494 Well I've got things under control. I don't need your advice. Thanks for the "concern" >>14778534 Saying hello doesn't take 5 minutes. But pretty much. I just find it really easy to tell if someone is a crappy person. >>14778511 Right, because that's exactly what I said. Good people make bad choices all the time. >>14778542 This. They show you who they are, they don't tell you. Eye contact, body language, I think they're easier to read but a lot of people just don't follow their instincts. My mother who gave me the advice made a lot of bad choices in the first half of her life, but she spent that time doubting herself.
The one person in recent memory who I am unsure about is my best friend's fiancé/husband. I loved him the first time I met him, and there's nothing I can pinpoint to make me suspicious about him, but he just seems TOO perfect.
Oh, some other good advice. Never lend anyone money unless you don't really care if you ever see it again. My mother also says never trust a man in a pinky ring. I haven't met too many of them, but it seems like solid advice.
>>14778559 >Eye contact, body language, I think they're easier to read but a lot of people just don't follow their instincts. And if a guy's just shy or nervous? I think first impressions are too easy to fuck up just due to a bad set of nerves.
>>14778569 >I don't judge someone poorly if they're shy or nervous No but a lot of people do. For a lot of people their gut reaction is the guy is insecure, or weak, among other things. You say people should follow their instincts, but that's what they often dictate.
>your posessions end up owning you. Seems hippy bullshit untill you really think about it. Having stuff around to use is awesome, but owning it means you should take care of the stuff or lose it. Worrying about losing or breaking stuff, or how to move it around.... what shit do you really need?
>make love not find love It doesn't just come knocking at your door.
>knowing love is just molecules in your head doesn't make it less "real". Knowing you're drunk doesn't mean you can drive either.
>there's no such thing as selflesness. People interact with you because it makes them feel better, or they want something from you, be it just company or confirmation.
>>14778575 Why would you say a lot of people feel this way unless you feel this way? I think it's more likely that when someone is shy and nervous all the time they don't make friends easily because it makes other people feel awkward themselves. People tend to mirror each other. If you meet someone with a friendly smile they will often do the same to you, if you come at someone with a bitchy attitude they will likely feel the same way at you. If you're a bumbling, spaghetti pilling pile of nerves no one is going to want to hang out with you because you make them anxious. >>14778580 Like I said before, it's not an exact science. It tends to be more of a feeling sometimes, like there's something off about someone, or they come off as really negative without realizing it, or they don't make eye contact or they're trying too hard to present themselves in a certain way. I think it's different in work situations too, people sterilize their personalities more when they're making business transactions, but even socially when people are trying to be cool or whatever they think their persona is I can just tell by their body language if they're comfortable or trying too hard to impress. The biggest red flag for me is when people try twice as hard to get you to like them if you are annoyed by them or are uninterested.
>>14778591 By your way of judging, insecure people are always bad for trying to cover it up. Nice people who feel insecure (and we have a lot of them on the chan) will subconciously overcompensate or not look you in the eye.
This prejudice is exactly what makes the world shitty for shy people.
>>14778591 >Why would you say a lot of people feel this way unless you feel this way?
Because it's a common thing. A guy stuttering or struggling with eye contact is a lot more likely to get labeled a creep. I mean fuck you got into it yourself
>It tends to be more of a feeling sometimes, like there's something off about someone, or they come off as really negative without realizing it, or they don't make eye contact or they're trying too hard to present themselves in a certain way.
It doesnt mean the guys a creep, it means he's bad at introducing himself and is afraid of seeming like a creep to begin with, causing a self fulfilling prophecy. But according to your mothers hypothesis, he actually is one.
>>14778313 >people show you who they are the first 5 minutes you meet them I am good at knowing who is good and bad to talk to but it takes me a lot longer than 5 minutes, you're an idiot if you think they will show you who they are within 5 minutes. Someone could be a cannibal, and child rapist and I'm sure you wouldn't magically see those things after 5 minutes of talking.
>>14778605 More than a tad. Most young people are like this. It's only later that they realize they don't know as much as they thought they did and the whole time they acted like unbearable, pretentious faggots.
With young people is always the same. It's always confirmation biases, the Dunning-Kruger effect, forced cynicism that's mistaken for maturity, and a little magical thinking held over from their childhood. Every time.
not that guy but no, you fucking knoblord-- the idea is that the future is indeterminate until you act in the now, so sitting on your ass being all itinerant about the future and being all 'what if, what if' is only exacerbating the problems you're making up for yourself. pull away from fear, pull away from the idea that the future is out to get you and define it in a way that it won't.
>>14779040 Society does not care about your character traits, it only cares if you can do the job.
Example: If someone gets stabbed in the middle of the day and others are trying to help them, the person who got stabbed wants the person who knows what to do to help them. they do not want the nicest person, or the prettiest person, or the smartest person, they want the person who knows what to do and can do it.
Also, a lesson from one of my teachers in High School. >Teacher puts $10 on table >Asks "Who wants it?" >entire class spends 5 minutes asking what they have to do to get the money >One kid finally gets up, goes to the front, and takes the money. >Teacher congratulates that kid >"No one is going to give you anything in life, you have to go out and get it yourself."
>>14778822 I probably wouldn't know he was a cannibal, but I would likely get weirded out and not like the dude without knowing why. >>14778850 I'm in my 30s. I only have awesome people in my life. I don't think I'm cynical at all I am just a good judge of character, I don't see why some people find that so difficult to believe. Like I said everyone have different talents. I can't play the piano, I can't build a computer, but I can meet someone and tell right off if they're an asshole.
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