Alright, just like the title says, my boyfriend would rather play WOW than have sex.
We live together and are expecting our first baby and everything is great between us. I just fucking hate bed time. I enjoy cuddling with him and falling asleep with him but he sits at his computer and plays wow until 1, sometimes 2 in the morning. I get that everyone has hobbies but his hobbie is sitting at the computer from when he gets home to when he goes to bed playing wow. I tried to initiate the sex tonight but he would rather play wow and drink. It's getting to the point where I don't feel like he's attracted to me. I told him the other day that I was going to order a vibrator and he got his feelings hurt and I didn't end up ordering it.
I've brought it up and he just throws a hissy fit and then continues to do it. How do I put my foot down?
Pic related, how I feel.
He takes you for granted. You should consider breaking up or cheating, if you're fine with cheating.
Seriously, you shouldn't keep staying in a relationship where you are so much neglected. It's not your responsibility to "put your foot down" on this issue. If he is in a relationship with you it should go without saying that he should be attracted to you and desire sexual activities.
order a vibrator and satisfy your needs. you can do that or log into his account sell everything and delete everything on his toons, then delete his toons, then change password on acct. I mean, he will get everything back eventually but it will be a pain on the ass and you can watch him go crazy a little and enjoy the show (:
Get the vibrator and have fun with that, then make a WoW account to play with him. Don't see why this is so hard.
you are the fucking cancer kill the board. There are solutions, and cheating is not one of them, OP you will end up as a single mom, and trust, single mothers are only good to fuck and run, your child will never have a father figure and your life will be a mess
If OP loved her man she would play WoW with him.
>I was going to order a vibrator
I thought just about every girl ended up owning one by their early 20s.
Have you talked to him about this though, that you don't feel attractive? He may be having a libido issue, or he may be uncomfortable having sex with you because of the fact you're with his child.
>I mean, he will get everything back eventually but it will be a pain on the ass and you can watch him go crazy a little and enjoy the show (:
My ex tried something similar on me because I spent a few hours every week on Steam. It wasted about 20 of my minutes and I just dropped her. Communicate, don't vandalize peoples shit.
Order the vibrator if all u want to do is "put your foot down", I strongly suggest you TALK to him about it, if you two aren't going to communicate and figure it out there's nothing anyone can tell you that'll help. Your family will be ultimately unhappy if you two can't communicate these issues.
Jimmies are rustled. Did you miss the part that she said she was preggo?
Maybe he doesn't want to fuck you because you suck at sex?
Playing vidya and drinking beer sounds much more enjoyable than bad sex.
Okay and who is going to look after the baby when it comes?
The last thing they need is to both have a wow addiction.
I used to play RO with a couple with a baby and they used to ignore the baby most of the time
>Having babies out of wedlock
You're so fucked, OP. Sex is the least of your fucking problems. What the hell is the point of having a father around for the kid if he's just going to be on the computer the entire time. You'd better find a way to get him to come back down to earth, or you are going to have a hell of a fucking time once the baby comes. This isn't about WoW, he's neglecting you, period.
Has this only started since you've been pregnant? How long has he been playing WoW? I can guarantee you this shit will not just get better once the baby is born. I suggest you pack your shit and leave. If he comes after you, and he gives a shit, you can work things out. Then you have a bargaining chip and maybe you can get him to truly see how he's been neglecting you, and if he wants you and his kid in his life he has to shape up. If he doesn't come after you, good riddance, you were fucked anyway. But once that baby comes you are going to be too exhausted and terrified to leave.
OP is fucked
have fun with a relationship that won't last with that deadbeat
>"h-he's a good guy I swear! He just plays too much wow!"
the problem isn't wow its his immaturity as a human being he can't get his shit together before you have a kid imagine him when the kid comes.
I dont think you have any idea of what you are talking about in fact I believe you are just talking out of your ass.
Like the first thing that came to your stupid brain you decided to type it because you though it was something good.
OP here, just thought I would update. My boyfriend isnt a dead beat, and when I say that I honestly mean it. He has an honest job and makes damn good money and makes sure everything is always paid, for example the bills. He just bought me my dream house and when we go out together we have a lot of fun. It's just that when we're home, he spends all his time at home on WOW. He'll do what he needs to do, maybe clean up a bit, but once he's done with whatever he needs done for the day, he's back on WOW. Yesterday he was on WOW from 3pm to midnight and it's lonely. I hung out with the dog, cleaned, made dinner, and then tried to initiate sex but he wanted to play wow. For those who are saying it's bad sex, trust me, it's not. It's REALLY good sex when we have it, it's just really seldom. We used to have sex 5, sometimes 8 times a week and it has slowly gone down to maybe once if I'm lucky. His WOW habits have also changed. It used to be an hour a night which turned into two hours which turned into three etc. I've talked to him but nothing ever gets solved. I'm just severely frustrated.
Look OP, before you talk him out of this, let me ask you something.
Do you happen to know his best friend? Like a person thats really close to him that he can call a friend.
If so, tell him the situation and see if he can talk with your boyfriend or husband or whatever.
If I was in this situation I would, honestly, pay more attention to a close friend than my wife.
Yeah the people saying he's a deadbeat because he likes to play a video game are ridiculous. Plenty of responsible people play WoW a ton, it's not that big of a deal.
Stop complaining and join up with him. There's nothing sexier to a guy than a hot girl playing their favorite MMO. Plus in game you'll get tons of male attention and he'll get to be like, "yeah that's mine lol. get to sex that up whenever i want."
it'll help him to realize how lucky he is to have you, and you'll stop crying about this stuff once you realize how amazing WoW is. relationships aren't just about sex. this is a chance to deepen your connection and you don't even see that ugh.
if my boyfriend wouldn't get off my back about me spending time in game i'd drop the annoying loser and find a cool boyfriend. thankfully he's geeky too and gets me.
Read up on skinner boxes and how game design purposefully utilizes research from them. Show him that he's a rat in a box, manically pushing a lever in the hopes that a treat will fall from the sky, and that it's a problem.
OP, let me tell you something. My ex was like that. He'd play, no kidding, for SIXTEEN HOURS STRAIGHT when he was off, and eight when he was working. Nothing but vidya vidya vidya all day long. He neglected me, he kept me up with his game and the lights and shouting and chatting while I tried to sleep. Then he'd sleep until the afternoon. He'd rather play vidya than fuck, and I'm pretty damned smoking hot and a slut in bed, so it's not my fault. Even if I enticed him to fuck me, he'd jump back on the game immediately, no cuddle or anything.
Dumping him is the best thing I ever did.
If someone plays more than 2 hours of vidya a day, they have a problem that needs therapy, ESPECIALLY if it is so bad that it interferes with your sex life. That is the criteria for it being an actual DISORDER.
Put your foot down. Demand him-you time. And you know what? Get your vibrator, and a dildo. YOU need pleasure. Don't let a man tell you that you can't get yourself off, especially when he isn't willing to get the job done. I recommend anything made with silicone. Please order yourself something. If his feelings are hurt, he's a goddamned hypocrite. Screw him. What about YOUR feelings? He doesn't give a shit about your feelings for him playing incessant vidya. He wants everything, and you get nothing. You're nothing but a piece of furniture to him.
Order yourself a toy. And while you're at it, find a new man. This isn't healthy and you deserve better. He needs to grow up and put in his share of work to the relationship, or you need to move on. Don't deprive yourself.
If you weren't knocked up, I'd say dump him immediately. For the sake of the kid, demand he get help for his problem. He has a DISORDER. This is serious shit. His obsession with video games is to the point where it is ruining his relationship and life. That is a full blown disorder. If he won't get help, leave him.
One more thing: you can set up a compromise. "If you quit WOW, I'll lose weight/get a boob job/do anal, etc."
Those games are addicting. If you bribe him, it might be enough to get him to quit.
Not OP but I just spent the last half an hour looking up Skinner box psychology. Holy shit I'm glad I'm not a gamer. This is such a powerful trap.
I'd really like to figure out a way to use this to my advantage. I sometimes suffer from a lack of motivation, but if I set shit up like a game it might help me.
Yeah off on a tangent but thanks anon
OP, your boyfriend is addicted to opening boxes.
Watch http://www.ted.com/talks/tom_chatfield_7_ways_games_reward_the_brain?language=en and understand that he's fulfilling a basic need to be successful, his brain is hardwired to want.
Now as for you, you have a few choices ...
a) put up with it;
b) pleasure yourself;
c) have somebody else pleasure you;
d) don't receive pleasure;
it's all up to you
How's middle school treating you?
By your logic, if they were married then he wouldn't be playing WoW with his free time and instead fucking his wife?
Did you even read op's post?
Op said she would leave if it wasn't for the kid. So she is bringing a child into the world with no concrete support system for the kid. Now, the child will be a burden instead of a joy. Now the kid is just another bastard being raised by a single parent.
It might be because you're pregnant. My boyfriend and I had a very active sex life until pretty recently, when I got knocked up. We still had a little bit of sex in the first trimester, before my body went all funhouse mirror. Now we haven't fucked in about a month. Some men love sex with pregnant women, but others suffer a serious hit to their libido. For my boyfriend, he's just generally uncomfortable with the thought that his child is so close to his dick.
Just ask him why he doesn't want to fuck you anymore. You don't have to fight about it, just try to get to the bottom of it and see if he has concerns, and then squash those concerns.
Just have an honest talk with him. From whath you wrote he seems to be a responsible person otherwise, he just got a vidya problem that can be solved. My boyfriend is just like that, I have tell him once in a while when I feel neglected. But talking about honest feelings always helps.
Also, compromise. You can't expect him to not play at all, find something you can do, a hobby of your own.
Since you'll get parents soon, you should talk to him since he won't havd much fun time once you give birth. Otherwise you might end up raising your child yourself.
And fucking buy the vibrator. A man shouldn't be upset if a woman gets toys, espacially if he doesn't fulfill you. You can use it to spice things up.
I swear. Can yall females let us know if you're fat when you start these kinds of threads? It would skip a lot of bull shit.
I promise if you start losing some weight and looking good he will notice.
Order your toy. Tell him you're going to pleasure yourself and if he'd like to join you then he can.
You'll know at that point if he gives a fuck. But as others have said it's down to you to determine whether you want this guy being responsible for your kid.
Would you be happy leaving the baby with him, the father? Do you have the confidence that he would drop his mates to change a nappy or even realise the child is crying?
This is about more than sex.
OP how many months pregnant are you? Personally I think you are overlooking that fact, maybe he doesn't want sex because he is uncomfortable with the fact your having a kid. When my wife was a few months pregnant I didn't want to have sex so I spent a lot of time online and she understood.
OP, as a male who has played WoW for years, all while maintaining a healthy relationship, I assure you (despite the upfront nature of this post):
is sound advice.
Remember that you're in a relationship where you have to suit each *others* needs. Be sure to tell him how you feel, of course, but then assess his new needs.
At some point during your relationship, his needs have shifted. They're not the same as they once were. You need to work to understand his new needs. Talk to him, ask him what does *he* need.
Being a perfect housewife may be very important to him, however, it seems that there's something different he wants right now.
Also understand that WoW is a powerful addiction. If you're ok with him playing the game, then you should appeal to his new fantasies. Walk in the room one day holding a new box set of WoW (while wearing a loose t-shirt and shorts, no underwear). Ask him what he's doing in the game. Questions like, what level are you? Are you in a guild? What are your guild members like? Do you prefer PvP or PvE?
When you ask him these things, he WILL unload a dump truck's worth of information on you. Just please for the love of god pretend to be interested, stare at him attentively, and show him that you're really interested. Tell him you want to "start up" in the game and you "wonder if he can offer you any tips". This will invoke his masculine desire to teach and protect you, while at the same time soothing his addition to WoW. Except now - you are in the picture.
Right now: he loves WoW. Make him love YOU and WoW.
Also, if any femanon is having problems getting their man in bed, just deny him sex. This is the easiest and best solution. Do whatever you know works and drive his mind crazy. When my girlfriend wore my loose t-shirts and boxers (with nothing else) it would drive me crazy in lust for some reason. So do something like that... and when he shows interest... SMILE and firmly say 'no'.
I know it's dumb, but men are dumb.
This doesn't work. You're just projecting your own fantasy onto anon's bf assuming he feels the same way. My bf had an awful addiction to LoL, I could walk into the room with a buttplug in (His fetish is anal/assplay) and he'd ignore me in favour of the game, pissing and moaning when I got in the way.
It's like saying you can get your heroin addict partners attention by being really interested in heroin and dressing sexily whilst holding some. This is a band aid at best.
Playing videogames is not an issue, playing them to the extent that they effect your life is. OP's partner is the one who needs to change, or she's going to end up leaving him out of frustration when he leaves the baby crying in a dirty nappy all day to play wow. If he can't tear himself away to do pleasurable things, how the fuck is he going to do it when he needs to deal with pleasurable baby bullshit.
That's a good point, perhaps I was projecting my fantasy.
I'm going off the basis that OP's bf really loves her and they're otherwise happy. If this is true, then they should be able to work something out without making any sacrifices.
However, now that you have me thinking... I remember that once I started playing into the wee hours of the night, my working life suffered tremendously. Maybe this is happening already with OP's bf (in some form). Maybe OP's bf is sweeping other problems under the rug.
WoW is a powerful addiction, and I think everything you said needs to be examined.
Thanks anon for calling me out. It gave me a lot to think about.