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Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking
>Brandon or Female Brandon
Also piss off.
Reposting from the last thread: Guys
Guy A and B are both in relationships. B asks A if he ever gets bored being in a relationship. Is this a sign that B is bored and is thinking about breaking up? For what it's worth, they're both 23
Also reposting from last thread
Going to a club with my old roommates for my first time in a few years, and my second time ever. Leaving in around 45 minutes. Any advice guys? I just came back from a 7 hour workshop.
>>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
>Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know
Maybe B is bored is wants to spice the relationship up. Maybe B is concerned about A because he heard something from someone. We don't know enough to tell.
Girls (or guys, really),
I've got plans for dinner with a girl tomorrow night. We're both music majors, she's in a few of my classes, and she even very graciously agreed to come in and play one of my composition assignments for one class a week or so ago.
She seemed pretty excited at the idea of us meeting up tomorrow, which is a little reassuring, but still. Do I need to make it *super* obvious that I'd like this to be more of a date than just two totally platonic friends hanging out? If so, how do I do that without being creepy?
Or do I just roll with it and see what happens?
For girls. Please be totally honest even if it's harsh.
I have a lot of guy friends and I've made a lot of buddies on the Internet, but I swear this isn't anything I've had control over but girls never seem interested in chatting or getting to know me and this carries over to real life too... I think I'm a pretty interesting person. What gives, do I look weird? What's the impression that femanons get? I'm smart and have things going for me tbh but I'm lonely and could use a female companion for once in my life. After all, I'm literally a full grown man now. I'm not even an adolescent anymore and I never even get cuddles.
I asked a girl out a month and a half ago, she rejected me because of some previous experiences (not concerning me, but a guy she dated long term, I don't know the whole story, I just know it was a bad relationship). We decided to stay friends. Previously we barely made physical contact, now she tries find excuses to cuddle/hug. She also has this weird thing where we'll text for a bit, and she'll just stop midway through a conversation, and text me back 2 days later.
Is she just trying to play games with me now? She made it fairly clear that she didn't want a relationship before. Should i confront her about this?
Met a chick online a few days ago, we share a lot of interests (based on our conversations so far) and seem like each others types (based on profile bio's), but she only gives me short (but good) answers when I try to talk to her, and never initiates the conversation.
I want to get her to open up about something, anything longer than two sentences would do. How do I do this?
not a chick, but it sounds like you need to put forth more effort. girls won't magically talk to you because you can grow a beard and was born with a penis. I works exactly the same was as making new friends, except these friends have vaginas and bleed on a monthly basis. Unless your vagina-owning friends are cougars, then there's a chance they don't bleed, I advise you stay away from those ones.
Men, how the hell do I plan things? When my boyfriend does it, our dates turn into group hangouts with his friends and I get ignored. I wanna take him to the nearby big city, but I'm not really one to take initiative. Any ideas on stuff we can do?
I'm getting a crush on this girl. what do?
>Any ideas on stuff we can do?
Lots of things. Movie date. Festivals and events that are going on in the city. I'm partial to the Farmers Market we have on sunday. Bookstores are also a soft spot of mine.
Its just some nonsense some random made up and keeps plugging it in, its hardly anything official I'd stress about. People are acting retarded with it and seem to ignore things like context.
It could be that he's becoming poor and doesn't have the dosh to take you somewhere neat all the time, but still wants to be with you.
It could also be that he is unsure of what you're into and therefore defaults to "chill at mike's place"
Or, perhaps he's extroverted and his idea of fun is doing social things with friends.
Decide what you want to do, find somewhere to do it, then tell him to take you there.
If you want to go walk in a park together at night, then find a cool park near you and next date give him the address and bam, you're both walking through a park at night while nignogs wait in the bushes to steal your shoelaces.
find a movie you want to see and ask him to take you to it, look at upcoming concerts, ask to go hang out downtown, tell him about that cool new restaurant nextdoor to the strip club that you want to try.
in other words, communication.
B is a closet homo and wants to suck off A
keep an eye on your drink, and wear thick clothes so no one can stick you with a needle to intentionally give you HIV.
Just roll with it, watch for body language, but don't act unless its blatant. If things go well then ask to hang out more later and let things grow from there.
Let her, if it goes on long enough maybe reciprocate and see what happens.
masturbate, then propose to her.
Good ideas. Money's not the problem though, my boyfriend will easily go out somewhere with his friends no matter the price. Problem is when we hang out, he'll just want to play Mario Kart or watch Netflix. I recommended to go bowling today and he immediately started inviting his friends along. I definitely think his extroversion plays into this.
We're in the same class together. I came into the hallway one day and she said hi to me and we chatted a little bit. She helped me to carry one of the mat things another time and she said "thanks I'm not very strong haha". I then just flinged it over my shoulder by myself and carried it. Then I was sitting in this lobby and she came up to me and started talking with me. And when I see her she stares at me a lil bit before I look and she looks away and smiles a bit.
Idk, I'm just a really lonely college kid who likes any girl that talks to me at all.
Make sure you like her personality before you act on a crush. Yes, she's good looking, but she could also be kind of a bitch. Become friends, then close friends, then ask her out.
if everything is as you say it is, then just straight up ask if she'd like to hang out outside of class sometime. If you're awkward about it and dont want to be obvious that you're asking her out, then suggest somehow that she bring you along to do something with her friends, or perhaps she tag along with you and your friends. something along the lines of "my friends are faggots and are busy, can I bum it with you and yours sometime instead" or "me and muh m8's are gonna go to the strip club later tonight, wanna cum bb?"
That's what I was thinking too but she seems nice. Idk how to make friends with her though.
From what I know about her she's a really fancy girl from an upperclass family and likes to go out and is pretty social.
>be half black
>have light skin
>black girls refuse to date me
Any reason why?
Foreveralone male here. That's not really what this is about though, at least not directly
I'm wondering what kind of judgment girls have of me. The opposite gender makes up like half the planet so I just want to know what kind of disadvantage I'm at when I need their help/am asking them something/etc. I'm fairly fit, have decent money and I'm not socially retarded but I'm completely foreveralone. I'm not bitching about that/asking for advice about how to fix it so keep reading faggot. It's not something I bring up but in conversations about sex/relationships I just kinda fade into the background scenery. I think on some levels it's obvious even without me talking about it. I'm one of those people you couldn't see with somebody. My personality doesn't mesh well with it, or with girls in general
Now, what I need to know is how badly I'll judged for it by females? You know like what kind of shit they're going to say to my friends, what kind of disrespect I should generally expect, etc.
>Who gives a fuck don't be so insecure
Somebody who has to interact with them in the workplace and needs to have a decent opinion of him among his peers for some of the goals he has faggot.
>Durr me not mind reader etc
Then formulate your own fucking opinion from the information I gave you. If you saw somebody with the traits I described how would you judge them
>Why would somebody judge you if you're confident blah blah blah
Look I've had a girl refuse to give me a ride TO THE FUCKING STORE because I didn't have a girlfriend. I've been called creepy before, with them telling me it's because I don't have a gf. You can take your line about confidence and go sodomize yourself with it because I'm already confident. I've been discriminated against for not having something I don't even want a part in and I want to know how often I should expect this shit to hinder me
how the fuck do i get this woman out of my mind
i asked her out a few times and got either ignored or a vague excuse
fine, no problem
however i literally cannot stop thinking about her and it's driving me insane
help me out
It depends on what your personality is like and how you interact with me. I really couldn't tell you for certain what I'd think of you, but from what you said, you seem pretty bitter, which will come across in a face-to-face interaction and will inform people's opinions ofyou.
Idk I might just fap to her and get over her. She's got a ridiculous pair of titties and likes to drink. I'm not sure if I can connect to her for more than a reason besides her being gorgeous and being nice to me but then again I haven't tried yet
What's more pathetic?
a guy having anime poster and anime figures in his room
a guy having video game figures (mario, bowser, sonic and so on) video game posters and tons of video games
Please let me know your gender when you answer.
>a guy having anime poster and anime figures in his room
Depends upon the anime. If its all loli's and shelves full of jizz statues then thats fuckin weird. I mean, its ok to be into that, this is 4chan after all. But displaying that beyond certain degrees is really odd. Personally I've got an Akira movie poster and a few dvd's on my shelf, but thats it. I think maybe one or two figures would be ok, as long as you have other shit to display them with in a good way. A few figures with a framed poster from the same show/movie would be ok. Or maybe if they're being used as book-ends.
>a guy having video game figures (mario, bowser, sonic and so on) video game posters and tons of video games
video game figures are somehow far more autistic to me than anime figures. Shelves full of vidya however could be cool if in a dedicated room set up to look like a media room or library. Basically, set it up the same way a film buff would set up a in-home theatre. I've got a place in my house very similar to pic related, and chicks love it. But organization and a good paint job are required, otherwise it looks like manchild central.
Guys and gals,
This girl and i ended a thing we had about a couple of months ago and we had problems with each other as far as being friends. Me being fed up, i talked to her and told her i was thinking about ending the friendship entirely. Her response was "well i think its a bigger deal than what were making it, not that we still like each other or anything, but still" and when i asked why she wasnt worried, she said she didnt know cuz she "didnt wanna go through this again" and asked me if i had feelings. I said that i didnt.
We made up but yesterday we were having a normal conversation about concerts and she throws in some shit about how shes wearing blue eyeliner, and it makes me think shes being indecisive or maybe even leading me on somewhat. Its an uncomfortable feeling.
I think you need to cut her out of your life for your own sake. You seem to be very attentive toward your feelings which is great, but if she keeps raising negative feelings in you then you're setting yourself up for undue stress.
Yeah, life is immensely better when you're physically attractive. People are genuinely happy to be around you when you look good. It's like The Truman Show every day.
Granted, that also rules out walking skeletons. Do have some meat on your bones.
I feel like it's someone saying "how hard you work matters most." Well, it helps to come to work every day too. You don't get to keep your job if you don't show up. Nor is anyone going to be impressed by you having a job if you stop doing it.
And yeah, you do need to work decently hard when you show up too. This whole hierarchy thing is bullshit and nothing else in life works that way. You need to look good. You need to have a great personality. Both of those things matter to varying degrees in different contexts but it's not "A > B."
How do I explain to people that being 'nice' isn't enough to be accepted as a relationship partner?
I'm nearly drunk since because depressed tonight and quite tired but I'm going to try and type my thoughts, and see how it turns out tomorrow. I doubt anyone will reply because text wall.
I am a 22 male, and I've dated a few women years ago in senior year of high school and first year of college, nothing too serious. I decided to focus on school at that point but I digress. Have a job in my desired field now, etc. I quickly realized something that I still don't have the words for.
I've always held doors open for people. I've always been nice to everyone, even those that treated me poorly. I do things to help people, desiring no thanks in return. A recent example, I gave a friend of a friend $2k for a hernia operation he needed (he has a physical labor job) but couldn't afford realistically, by putting it in an envelope and sliding it in his mailslot (thankfully had his address from a party years ago). He still doesn't know who gave him the money.
This is who I am. I will always give love to people and expect nothing in return.
Women do not want someone like this. They might want someone with similar qualities in smaller quantities, but not someone that is JUST this. This is all that I am. I don't have many hobbies, I'm not very interesting, I don't do much other than volunteer work and real work. This is not the description of what a woman would want in a partner. Am I wrong?
How do I say all of this in a simple and concrete way? I'm asking because every now and again I'll be asked why I don't have a girlfriend, and I don't have the words to convey this concept. Usually I just say the equivalent of LOL IDK but I kind of want to give a real answer so the questioning stops.
"I don't like talking about myself. It makes me uncomfortable."
You're right with your thoughts, but don't try explaining it to others. Especially not to those who lack the tact to keep their noses out of your personal affairs.
College girls : My situation now is that I want to ask a girl out on a date. However, it's freshman year for me, sophomore year for her, and I don't have a car. She does. What is a good course of action for me to take?
Question for femanons:
I lost my virginity to my roommate's girlfriend. She was all over my for about six months and i finally lost it in the middle of no fap Febuary. Ever since she comes around almost every weekend and we end up fucking at some point. Every time she touches me it's like my brain disappears i would do anything for her, but it tears up my soul to be part of an infidelity like this. I've kept her off for two weeks running now. How do i get out of this?
Bf never touches me except to fuck or when he wants a head rub.
Girl texting him at 4am asking if he's out (it's his birthday soon, so I guess that's normal)
I just want opinion on or advice
Because I'm too nice. And there we go full circle.
But in all seriousness, you do have a point. I guess I don't need to really.
But if we start questioning the 'need' for things here, nearly all of these problems become meaningless.
As far as touching goes, I'm kind of similar. I don't even feel comfortable hugging my family. But being intimate turns that part of my brain off. Have you actually tried talking to him about this?
I met this girl in one class... we are so fucking similar, I almost feel like it's fucking unreal. However, when she says "As you, I also hate/enjoy" she is being complacent or there is some kind of chemistry between us. I know it sounds a little bit paranoiac, but I'm a neurotic wreck.
This Friday is my birthday and I was thinking to invite her to go and drink something and talk... but I don't know how to do it, I don't have any kind of experience on that, and I don't want to look creepy on my behalf.
Also, I fear that we are not going to see each other anymore after the curse is over... that solely idea makes me sad... the thing is, again, that she is as introvert as I, also older as I. What is the better course of action /adv/?
I already have her number and I've spent time with her and her friends, we've also gone to breakfast just the two of us. I'm not really sure how to initiate into that phase of "hey I'm interested in dating you".
He would probably be inconsolable. I just need to keep her away without hurting her for another couple months till i can move out. It's worse cause i feel like I'm in love with her too.
I've been very active in the occult lifestyle for the last two years or so of my life, and frequently perform esoteric ritual meditation. One intention of my ritual meditations is to actualize my Anima and Animus, the transcendent feminine and masculine aspects of my unconscious mind respectively, and assimilate them into my conscious being as one. Part of this involves expressing my inner femininity outwardly. I won't describe the ritual itself, but I bring out of myself such an empowered confidence and take on a regal Queen like persona wearing a dress similar to my picture.
I'll just be honest, I not only look stunning outwardly, but my inner radiance shines through as well. At this point I've developed my Anima more than most women have. This is where my issue lies. I've been dating this woman for two months now, who actively practices witchcraft herself, and I can feel the insecurity inside her growing when she's around me. She's a bigger woman, and I have a very slender androgynous body. I can see that she feels inadequate in her femininity.
This is a woman that I really like and I want to keep seeing. I don't want to give up my self expression, but I don't want to make her feel bad about herself either. I don't like feeling this guilt with what once brought me only fulfillment. I want to nurture confidence within her, but I don't know how to approach it. How can I make this work?
Don't stay in your room all day. Talk to anybody, and if you like them, try to hang out more. If you don't like them, find somebody else. You HAVE to put yourself out there first.
Works with both genders.
My long term girlfriend ended it a few months back ( we have one child) when we got back together after a talk I decided to start saving money as a contingency so I could move out if things turn to shit
She opened up my mail and saw the savings account statement and has lost her mind saying by saving I'm showing I'm not invested fully in the reconciliation.
What does the girls of /adv/ think about this? Am I in the wrong?
She's angry at you because you're saving money, and therefore not interested in the relationship? I don't get it, even if you guys were 100% focused on fixing things its a good idea to save money rather than spend if you can help it.
I have to be misunderstanding something
Talk to people
I don't think you're necessarily wrong, but I can see why she's mad. It indicates you're pessimistic about how this will turn out, which could mean unconscious self-sabotage or a self-fulfilling prophecy
Posting this cause i need answers
>Girls: why does my best friend keep initiating on me when we go out dancing?
We've been best mates for nearly a year, I asked her out a few months ago and she shut me down, Im fine with that, but recently she's all over me when we're alone. Shes also stopped contact with her ex, should I bring it up? I dont want to get shutdown twice, I like her as a freind too much to risk losing that.
What does it mean?
To women. Is it true that physical appearance is 49% of the relationship? Is it really that hard to overcome being with someone who isn't a 7-9/10 if you already click and get along in all other aspects?
Having a dick inside you just feels... good. There's no better way to describe it. I don't like it to be too serious, I'm not a serious person by nature and I prefer a more 'casual vibe' (not to be confused with casual sex)
She's a woman that wants to keep you as an option while having all other potential choices available to her as well. You provide her with attention right now, but once she finds a bigger better deal, she'll get her attention elsewhere. I'm not saying all women are like this or anything, but this particular one is
Question for all, but female input is obviously important:
pic related is me. my girlfriend is a tiny Asian girl (5'2, 115lbs) with a very pretty face and aspirations of becoming a doctor. she's nearly finished with her bachelor's.
i don't make a lot of money. i don't offer much other than the fact that we do lots of fun/scary things (i took her flying and she did three touch-and-goes plus basic maneuvers) and i am wondering what she sees in me.
physically she tells me i am fine even though i want to improve myself. i am scared if i lose weight she might become less attracted to me.
Hello, hope you're all fine!
My question is a bit longer, I suppose you don't mind?
So...I get a lot of attention from women initially, which is a good thing, since we usually get along well.
Not boasting, but I'm leading a pretty exciting life right now and have many interesting stories to tell as well as a bit of knowledge regarding music and classic literature.
>inb4 fedora meme
Sorry to disappoint, but my clothing style is average.
Anyways, whenever I talk to women, they always seem really interested, listening attentively or engaging in the conversation themselves (or they just act like it, who knows really). However at a certain point, maybe between the fifth and tenth long conversation or discussion, they start to lose interest out of the blue and from that point onwards, conversation grows stale, I have to carry it by myself since they won't participate or don't pay attention.
Asking them questions results in more and more brief, empty answers and, depending on how well we got along, we barely talk anymore or lose contact entirely.
It feels like I'm missing a turning point, fail to react at a certain point, to some obscure stimulus, so I suddenly become boring to them.
Although I'm usually really confident, this made me insecure about being blank, uninteresting and boring after a while.
Like I'm disappointing people and don't live up to their expectations.
Not sure if I should mention this, but my appearance shouldn't really be the problem, since I'm tall with a handsome face and receive compliments on physical features (excluding my parents here).
What am I missing?
> we've been together two years
> close with each others' families - she calls my parents "mom" and "dad," her brother and i are on good terms and have conversations, etc.
> she gets emotional sometimes and tells me she's so happy she's found me, she wants to spend her life with me, etc.
I think you're confusing it with physical compatibility. Physical compatibility includes physical attraction, but it's about much more as well. While looks do play a role, you'd be surprised by how subjective they become when influenced by other factors, like emotional bond, and how much preferences vary from individual to individual.
My boyfriend might not be conventionally a 10/10, but I find him to be an absolute 11/10.
well i want to lift weights and become stronger, lose weight and become leaner. and she says she's okay with it but she also tells me she likes how soft i am.
what does that even mean? i'm glad to have her and i have no intention of pushing her away, but it just seems indicative that she has a fat fetish or something.
I doubt it honestly, shes got low self esteem issues, we've been friends though us dating other people so not really an attention factor.
Besides the shopping factor what other plays are there here?
I hate that. I'm all about deeply emotional eye contact and feeling my breath and my heart beat become one with my lovers, but it seems like most women reject that level of intimacy, at least in my experience.
It's kind of a strange role reversal in a way. I've also experienced strange relationships where the woman I'm with is constantly in the mood and trying to smash me, and I almost tactically withhold the sex from her to make her do things that I want her to do. Gender roles are totally scattered at this point
going to bump this.
>I asked her out a few months ago and she shut me down
>we keep making out and never talking about it
>we keep making out
why are you even here
Just go for it, best case scenario, she's into the idea and would be down for hanging out and/or dating.
Worst case scenario she says she's busy (since you're just asking to hang out, and not going on a "date" date right?) and then you never see each other again and can forget all about it.
Also plausible scenario, she's busy but you get her number and set something up on another day. Or she's down and available on your birthday but wants to bring friends or something. Either way you've taken the first step towards getting your dick sucked. There's really nothing to lose and even if she's not into you, she might be fine with just doing something after class with someone new. But you'll never know unless you ask her, right?
I need some help from some femanons.
I had asked something similar before I believe, or maybe not I can no longer remember what I post on this site. So here goes again.
>Currently in a relationship with a girl
>She lives about 1h from me, and also works there.
>She was a pot smoker, she has made it clear that she's quit. I dont have proof tho'.
>Because it would cost me too much to go visit her daily, and we would not have lots of private time together, sex has become a rarity.
>To be honest. Sex is nonexistent. We havent even had sex yet.
>We have been together for I would guess about 1-1,5 years.
>We have already been talking about moving in together and stuff like that.
>I have been hinting to start a sexual relationship, but somehow, it never latches on. Either I am too bad at it or she is not getting it/brushing it off.
>I fear that being blunt about it will make me look like I only want/wanted sex out of the relationship.
>She is currently in a very bad mood, and I cant really do anything about it, because her phone got stolen, and then she bricked her new phone (yes I know she is kinda dumb, but in a cute way)
I want to push this relationship forward. Every day I hear about my friends fucking a new girl and it is (kinda) making me jealous.
How should I handle this? How can I make it clear to her that I want to love not only her but her body to.
Sidenote: I am not a virgin.
Is the pizza delivery guy hitting on me?
He was like a 9/10 and I'm a 5 so I'm skeptical
He is totally hitting on you.
If you want, jump on the ride. See were it gets you.
If it doesnt get you were you wanted you still have a delivery guy that is good looking to tease all your friends with.
He doesn't love you, he doesn't love her either. He's just looking for an excuse to keep stringing you along while fucking whoever he wants until he's sure you're going to put out.
Sounds like a pick-up line.
If he actually loves you, but sleeps with women on the side, he's an asshole and not worth it.
Should you get into a "relationship" with him, expect a hook-up instead.
Girls, what are some ways for a girl to repay affection? I'm not talking about euphoric m'lady points, but kind of evening out the balance between two people doing nice things for each other.
I find it really easy to go out of my way to be a great help to this girl I'm dating. It takes next to no effort for me, and since she's a little slow, she likes saving time like that.
Thing is, she doesn't really have anything to help me with. I mostly have my shit together and don't need help with anything. She's just herself, and we're happily dating. That's all I can come up with.
I've been thinking about it for a while, and I'm beginning to worry if it isn't a bad thing that the scale tips in her favour a lot. What should I do about this? How can we even this out?
If it was any more blatant he'd have sexual assault charges filed against him.
not a grill, but just tell her that its been over a year and you're in love with her and you want to physically show her that. you can copy paste that to her if you'd like. just make sure you get the "in love" part down, and the "physical" part down as well. and then the "over a year" part for bonus guilt points.
10 of the times with the same woman, and i remember them all vividly. I met her when I first moved out and started living on my own. She was the woman I gave my virginity to, and I really grew a lot as a person during my time with her. She was older than me and knew who she was far more than I knew myself, but I like to think she grew from her time with me as well.
The last two times were with the girl that grew up down the street from me that i was friends with growing up. We couldn't capture quite the same intimacy, but we still had a lot of passion for each other. It wasn't meant to last though
You should definitely see were this is going.
Maybe ask him to come in when he delivers your pizza. Maybe ask him to deliver one just before closing time.
Maybe open the door with only a towel on you.
The possibilities are endless.
>bonus guilt points.
The problem is, I dont think I can guilt her into doing it. And I dont really want it to be because she feels guilty.
I already played that card once without knowing about it, and it has gotten me this far.
He thought about the possibility of you breaking it off if you found out. He decided her pussy was worth more than you. Unconditional love is for your children, your parents, and your siblings. Nobody else. If you buy into that bullshit you can expect it to happen again.
To me that sounds like you are either super boring, self centered or as you said yourself, ignore some super obvious social cues all the time.
You being handsome explains why they are interested in you in the first place but they can't stand you after they get to know you bit more.
I think you problem stems form the fact that you are forceing conversation.
Let them lead the conversations. Let them talk about what they wanna talk about.
I noticed lots of girls started to like being around me when I shut my mouth and started listening instead.
Now I can get girls to laugh and feel happy and safe around me.
I do not have long conversations with them if they are not the ones fueling it on.
Like if you are talking about a certain topic, and most of their answers are
>Yeah, you must be right
>Wow anon thats deep
Then you probably have been talking for way too long.
Not a grill, but this guy >>16309861 is right. People love talking about themselves, including you. Let them talk more, and when you get to know each other well enough ask her to come over & watch a movie or something that gets you close and let's you talk. A little innocent touch here or there & she'll seek out more if she's interested. Netflix is panty dropper these days.
He still shows interest in you.
You should not really care about him if you really dont want to.
I usually go through pictures of girls I have had a fallout with, and even tho they cant see it, it kinda would feel nice if they noticed that I still had some affection for them.
But that is just stupid talk.
The guy is probably just crying himself to sleep watching how good your life is. And that he cant be apart of it. Forget about him
Regarding the self-centered part, I'd have to disagree.
I'm not really doing this to pick people up, so of course I'm intrigued by the stuff they, do. We usually share interests we can talk about, so it's not like I'm just telling stories from forgotten times.
On being boring - well I'm starting to get insecure about that. But the stuff I do and talk about often makes them react like "holy shit, you're awesome" initially.
But what are the cues? Am I socially retarded or what?
Again, I am not looking for hook-ups and don't seek a progression to immediate sex.
I want to continue talking to them since I'm interested in their character or personality.
And trust me, I've tried this, but it never worked for me. Same results. Deep, intense, even heated conversations, sometimes through the whole night, but dropping off after about the 8th conversation.
I'm a dude, but it could just be that you have no idea how to change it up.
One of my favorite things about meeting new people has always been holding conversations. For a while, I dated purely because it was just a way to get women to open up and be willing to have a conversation without their guards up ( exactly the same as if I just sat down and started talking to a random dude at a bar)
What that taught me is that there is an ebb and flow in conversations.
If you're having five to ten long conversations in the span of a day (maybe even week), perhaps way too much, especially if you're the only one leading the talking, or if you have no idea how to break it up with a moment of humor/silliness/whatever.
There needs to be a back and forth with every conversation where you take turns listening to one another in equal parts, where you give as much as you get and give in your own opinions (otherwise that's not a conversation, it's a lecture).
The best thing to do in a conversation is always to show that your listening. Honestly, I have a pretty ridiculous memory for conversations, and, I can be a pretty serious guy, my sense of humor is pretty wry and teasing, so a lot of times on my dates, there would inevitably be a moment where I'd break up a semi-serious conversation, by making a reference to some small but tangentially funny detail mentioned at the start of the night, and just completely flip the flow of the conversations.
Getting the same thing back to back to back is as boring as never changing it up, or being lectured at.
Take an objective look at the way you communicate and ask yourself if it really is communication, and if it's really effective.
People don't usually make out unless they have some kind of physical attraction to each other on both ends. next time it happens just go with it, hold her, make out more, do some shit chicks love, like stroking her hair or nibbling her ear (that one might be a bit too far though, need a femanon to confirm).
I shouldn't have to spell this out for you.
Also, cut that fam shit out. Only nogs and valley girls say that.
I wasn't being literal. Just do some romantic shit and go on about how much you love/want her. Say something about wanting to get "intimate" with her (in my experience, people with vaginas like that word a lot). And then next time you're together, do what >>16309852 can't seem to figure out. cuddle, make out, run your hand up her shirt and rub her stomach, then her waist, thigh, and finally over her inverted penis. Its not difficult, just be... "romantic" is the best word I can think of, though its not really the best. You've been dating for awhile, you should know what I mean.
>Again, I am not looking for hook-ups and don't seek a progression to immediate sex.
>I want to continue talking to them since I'm interested in their character or personality.
That's too bad, girls like dick. They can sit & talk with other women about things they like. Why should they bother seeking a relationship with you if you won't have sex with them?
>You've been dating for awhile, you should know what I mean.
Yeah the problem isnt me not knowing what to do, the problem is me being very anxious around her. It sometimes feel like Im walking a minefield talking with her.
So getting romantic in the wrong way/order will probably be like driving a car with your family into a minefield.
So I should put more time in between conversations...might be a good suggestions. Feels a bit like leading people on, but I'll give it a shot.
As I've said before though, these first conversations are anything but boring and I love listening to women who open up a little and have interesting stuff to talk about, be it hobbies, interests, jobs, emotions, ... take your pick.
So it's definitely not like I'm lecturing them.
Either way, thanks for the advice, I will try and take another look at my way of communication.
Great advice m80. Ever considered doing this professionally?
Why, she's your gf isn't she? If she's in a tight spot in her life then just be there to comfort her and be nice, tell her that she's cute n' shit, or whatever it is that you need to do (and are probably doing to some extent already).
Unless there's some issue with your relationship that I've missed, then you shouldn't have to worry about it being a mine field. You might feel like it, but chances are if you just go through with it and talk about these things to her it'll turn out alright. you might even get lucky and find out that she's been feeling the same about you.
Think of it like this, anything that would make you lose your shit in a good way, will likely make her lose her shit in a good way as well.
I'm saying, you need to tell her you want to take it to the next level, that you like her enough that you trust her and want to get it on. give her an anime love confession you faggot.
Unless, again there's an issue between you two thats hurting your relationship that I've missed (other than it being an LDR and her phone problems or whatever temporary menial shit is happening in her life right now).
If all else fails, simply message her
>"I love you and I want to have sex with you."
Do you frequent /soc/?
I'm really passionate about sex after getting comfortable with the person, but the picking up chicks at a bar part turns me off completely. Just seems disgustingly shallow to me personally, though I don't judge anyone who likes doing that.
Also I'd be completely fine with being bi, if the gay community wouldn't be even more focused on sex apparently. Every homosexual person I've talked to, immediately went into that direction and again, this just turns me off.
Anyways, since you've started to faggot-post I'll just ignore you now. Bye.
ok let me re-respond to this.
>We have already been talking about moving in together and stuff like that.
>I have been hinting to start a sexual relationship, but somehow, it never latches on. Either I am too bad at it or she is not getting it/brushing it off.
assume she's just not getting the hints, and put the moves on her for keeps this time, go all out and be blatant but tasteful about it. Do what I've said to do so far. You're dating, therefore you're, at least in theory, in love with each other. play off of that.
>I fear that being blunt about it will make me look like I only want/wanted sex out of the relationship.
Its been over a year,
>We have been together for... 1-1.5 years.
if you just wanted sex, you'd have cut it off by now, or fucked each other silly. She should know this.
>She is currently in a very bad mood, and I cant really do anything about it, because her phone got stolen, and then she bricked her new phone (yes I know she is kinda dumb, but in a cute way)
that's fine, infact its good that you think its cute. tell her nice things to make life not so shitty for her right now, if you haven't already said so, let her know that she, or possibly what she did, was "cute" to you.
Never gona near /soc/
>I'm really passionate about sex after getting comfortable with the person, but the picking up chicks at a bar part turns me off completely. Just seems disgustingly shallow to me personally, though I don't judge anyone who likes doing that.
Nobody said anything about picking girls up at a bar. But if you refuse any progression in or towards a relationship because you just want to talk, they are all going to get bored with you and you're not going to have that relationship.
Anyone here successfully learned a second language or is studying a third+?
I'm curious how much studying I should do per day, and what other than studying I can do to improve my retention? Also, would watching children's programming help me with being able to understand what people say better? I'm learning Spanish and people are just racing to spit out their words.
Depends on what you want to get out of it.
Just want to fug?
Go for it.
Want a relationship?
>into the trash.jpg
Not that guy, but I think you misunderstood something or haven't read his posts properly.
Thank you anon. I have been seeking advice for my relationship for some time now. Every time people are just saying the same thing
either dump her.
Or shag her.
And I was never asking for what I *should* do but rather, how should I do it.
And you provided me with good examples. I hope this will help me.
The worst part about our relationship is it being LDR.
True, didn't want to offend.
But the "dating guys who appreciate you" part still works fine.
If you're into that, you could try out some make-over tips, see how you like that. Wear something pretty and you're bound to turn some guys' heads.
Only do that, if you're comfortable with it, though.
I'm actually in a relationship with a guy who genuinely finds me beautiful, which is the most wonderful part of my life, but I just can't seem to feel that way about myself.
It does help when I dress nice so I do pay very careful attention to what I wear.
I might be overdue for a change in my looks, but I don't know what would suit me. I've had straight-across bangs for 4 years now and they match my face and style really well.
Ah, you sound fine then. I'm sure you're actually really pretty, so try pulling off some new styles you feel comfortable with. Guys usually like a change in appearance (Well, I do).
Girls, how important is physical appearance, if you get along with a guy really well.
Me and this girl get on really well, talk everyday and shes expressed that shes wants to go out with me.
Only trouble is that we've never physically met. Only talked over tinder, skype, etc.
As dodgy as this situation sounds, i really like her as well. But im not the greatest looking guy. Im a bit overweight and a bit ugly (3-4/10)
Im really scarred she'll turn me down when she does meet me in person
Let's say I have a tame mental illness under control (therapy and medication). You can't tell without stumbling on the medication or something like that.
Would you be mad if I hid it from you for a while and wait to be more intimate?
it depend if she already like your appearance bro, if she don't, the probability of her being interested in something romantic is near 0.
But you can be more attractive if your attitude suggest self confidence, that you know what you want etc
make yourself more sexy
Interesting question. Not sure how to answer it because how do you help someone who doesn't need your help? May I ask what the concern is? This could've been written about me, and I've found it concerning myself before. Would be enlightening to hear it from the other side.
Lol. Near the beginning of my relationship with my ex we were laying in his bed one afternoon and he drifted off to sleep. Few min later he snapped back out of it and either addressed me as, or simply stated, his most recent ex's name.
>did...did I just say <her name>?
>omg I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please do--
>>lmao dude chill, it's cool, you were dreaming
Are you really asking if this warrants a breakup? Really?
Towards the beginning of our relationship there was a discussion that she wasn't over him and dreaming about him so much nearly 8 months after they broke up doesn't make me feel too good.
It's easy to abuse the help and take it for granted if it's all one-sided. Some people actually do that, keeping friends or boy/girlfriends around just for how useful they are. If the help stops, the relationship stops.
Doing favours in return is a pretty good way to even things out, but if he needs no favours it becomes harder to tell if the other is just using him. Of course it's a matter of trust, but it's a lot more assuring if you can be certain you won't be put aside if she no longer has a use for you.
That's my question, if there's a way to tell the relationship is genuine in a scenario like that. I honestly don't know myself.
Hmm. I think it depends more on the impression you get from her than anything else. Does it seem/feel like she cares about YOU or only about what you do for her? What your intuition is telling you, basically.
I went to a club last night and I met a girl when I was at the bar. It turns out she hadn't gone to a club before, and I had only gone to a club once before years ago so we really hit it off. We a bit of dirty dancing throughout the night and she always held my hand. Anyways I got her number at the end of the night, and I didn't send her a text to verify it or anything. What do I do with this number?
Should I send her a text now the morning after? Should I call her? When should I do when? What should I even say? I feel like it's going to be weird not being drunk and interacting with her. We're going to be completely different, I think.
so yesterday I told an ex girlfriend whom was kinda dating I'd like to stay friends and finally had to admit that I don't feel love for her anymore.
Obviously she's pretty mad...
How long should I wait before I try to talk to her again?
I mean I miss her as a friend :/
Guy is A. Girl is B. Friends are C.
Through C, A meets B. B talks to A and a couple days later tells B she likes A. A feels the same way. A kisses B one time in front of C, thinks nothing of it. B tells A that that made C feel awkward and B too. A asks why. B says that C says A is asking 'different' around B and B feels kind of awkward/guilty. A asks B if B feels like they are 'stealing' A. B says yes. A doesn't understand this at all and assures B they didn't steal A. A is fairly certain B still likes A but is confused and a little scared. A still doesn't understand at all. What does A do?
A should realize its probably not a big deal and move on with things like normal, since its very likely that B still likes A. And C shouldn't have hooked you two up if they're not a cuck.
Also, A should use words like "me, you" and "her" instead of letters next time they post on 4chan. Because D (anons) will get easily confused by A's clusterfuck of a post and have to read it like fifteen times to understand it right.
>hey, we met last night and you gave me your number
go from there
Do you like being "put into your place"? Using the term loosely.
I've noticed this with 2 guys.
The first one gets a raging boner when I don't allow him to make fun of me and point out how he is in no way superior than me.
The second one gets aroused when I outwit and outsmart him.
What's the deal?
>Do you like being "put into your place"?
Nah. But some prolly do. (Also, some of them want you to try putting them in their place verbally so they can put you in your place physically. People are funny.)
Shifts in power dynamics can be fun. Your guys sound a bit more extreme than what I'd do, but it's likely that the same principle applies. It's also far more interesting for me if it's not a constant thing, but there are most definitely guys who would go beyond that and want to be dominated all the time.
>when I don't allow him to make fun of me and point out how he is in no way superior than me.
That'd just make me feel like I'd fucked up and want to go somewhere else for a while until you're not mad anymore.
Just because youre angry at someone, it doesnt mean you don't care about them. I'd advise talking to him and working things out, unless its over something actually important.
Not really. I like a woman that can banter with me, but that's different from just being straight up knocked down a peg.
>I don't allow him to make fun of me and point out how he is in no way superior than me.
no, that sounds dickish, and would probably either make me mad, or feel like I did something wrong.
>The second one gets aroused when I outwit and outsmart him.
having a smart gf would be great, though I know if that happened all the time I'd start to feel a bit useless.
i like girls who have character, and can say when i'm wrong or crossing the lines, but if you don't allow me to make fun of you time to time, or get pissed easily, i just wouldnt want to be near you. I'm pretty dominant myself so i'd be pretty pissed if you have this kind of behavior all the time.
I like fun people.
How does a guy get lots of female friends?
The guy in this case does not or expact any sexual, or romantic stuff.
I don't care too much, but I'm finding that it's harder to make friends when you're past university and working a 9-5, and I used to have a fair number of women as friends before I moved, so I'd like to see if I can keep my life balanced outside of work.
If you're not expecting any sexual and or romantic stuff, just be casual about it. Wanna go for a drink on fridays at x's? Done. It's literally the same like befrieding guys. If you share certain interests, you can do something related. If you just want to have lots of fem friends for the sake of it, forget it. Why would you even want that?
I know guys that have like almost exclusively male or female friends. But most of the time it mixes up, doesn't it? I think in my case the male-female ratio in my circle of friends is about half-half; but I gotta admit that I have more close guy friends. There are very few girls where a non-romantic, non-sexual but still very close relationship works for what I experienced so far.
Forgot to add extra info.
I am a neet and in the past I always got friends trough college, work, or other friends.
Well, I guess I dont need lots of friends, just dont wanna be stuck home alone everyday.
I cant go up to random girls on the street and asks to be friends, or can I?
So I decided to meet up again with a girl I met at the club. She goes to school and I have a job. I will be gone from next Friday to Monday though, so I can't invite her out on the weekend. We decided on a bar. Should I just wait until the following weekend or is that too long? I could just leave on Saturday morning if it's too long. I guess going during the week is a bad idea.
This is me for context >>16311077
>like you would with anyone else
I'm a little more to the point than I'd like to be, I don't think of stuff like that. If I don't get a date down then I've found a lot of the time we just dabble on what time is the best and it doesn't happen too, but I'll try and be normal in the future.
It from an artist who made an art book with all his text messages printed to/from girls from the past 5-10 years.
Each text message is labeled as you see in the pic.
>Pic related. the artist is David Choe
>girl starts texting things like "you really just wanted to see me, didn't you? Come on, you can admit it :P"
Girls, run your mind reading tricks on this for a moment. Is this girl interested?
>also, /soc/ for IRL meetups
Dont you want some cum brownies instead? /k/ is much more fun.
>It from an artist who made an art book with all his text messages printed to/from girls from the past 5-10 years.
Why would anyone be interested in that
>Dont you want some cum brownies instead? /k/ is much more fun.
I thought he revealed that it was a joke w/butter and his thumb?
And I would have said /k/, but if he was /k/, he should know about them by now.
Sometimes I meet a girl who is incredibly positive, smiley and friendly. Even if she is not the most physically attractive, I can immediately sense she is the hottest girl in the room to me and any other guy. Is there any similar quality that girls feel about guys?
How do girls feel about the same positive, smiley characteristic in guys?
Girls: There's this qt that works at my gym and we have small talk/ etc every now and then. When we talk, her eyes are fixated on mine, laughs at my stupid jokes ,smiles etc. I'm a pretty quiet guy, but I actually feel okay talking to her. Would you say there's any attraction here? I'm kind of oblivious to the hints that girls show that they are interested, and I usually just play off what I think is attraction as "oh they are like that to everyone because that's who they are or because it's their job." Am I just rejecting myself? . Halp.
I'd think he was repulsed by me but trying to hide it
My boyfriend's one of those people. Not the most attractive person in the world, but they really do light up the whole room
Either that, or teasing
I'm not going to date you if I'm not attracted to you. Having a good personality can somewhat mitigate your looks and bump you up a few points, but if your total score is still low, I won't date you.
my ex gf of over 3 years ago just got engaged
its bothering me. i dont know why. im over her. im even with a new girl now. a new girl i like alot too.
why does it bother me? i cant quite put my finger on it...
Yeah, a smiling, positive guy is definitely more attractive. Not cocky or anything, and not pretend happy all the time, but just more optimistic than not is definitely a turn on.
Smiling is always better than grumpiness though. Of course smiling isn't going to turn you into a supermodel, that doesn't make sense. But a smile shows openness and most usually happiness, and that's always attractive.
not a grill but,
>Would you say there's any attraction here?
Irrelevant. Ask to hang out some time, make it a social thing like you would with a friend.
just see where it goes, you might have a gf in a few months, you might have a good friend. who knows!
Random guy here, confused about the responses about the girl with the pizza guy
To me, I would not think he was hitting on her at all, just trivial banter. But to you all it seems dead obvious. What factor about it am I not getting and how do I learn to pick up on that?
Went out with him last night. He was subtly touching my legs a lot and stuff. I was touching him back
Is he saying sorry about doing it because he wants me to understand he isn't interested? I'm pretty hurt
his statement implies that he didnt want to make her uncomfortable, and if she likes the guy then why reject his advances?
a jerk wouldnt care. a decent guy would consider the other persons feelings (which is probably why they brought it up), that's the difference imo.
Maybe this should've been its own thread, but I feel like this should be OK.
Is it OK to join a club at college to meet the girls in it?
I'm currently studying Chinese, am slightly old for a college student (29), and we have a pair of native-speaker girls from the International Club who come help out in the class. They told us we should come to their meetings to practice if we felt like it.
I actually could use the practice quite a bit, but honestly I'm more interested in going because cute foreign girls. Would I be a creep for doing this?
Found out my long term girlfriend had rebound sex after we broke up, she told me after we got back together and said i shouldnt be pissed because we wasnt together,
I've been dwelling on it...should I just let it go and get over it or do I have a right to feel betrayed in a way.
Is there any way to get a girl who used to really like you to like you again?
tl;dr wasn't over my ex so i didn't talk to her, tried again later and she cut things off.
I really regret not going for it earlier but it wouldn't have been fair to her at the time. Now though she's a lot more popular than what she used to be, gets more male attention.
I figure that she thinks of herself as being way out of my league now.
Is there anything I can do? I talk to her as a friend occasionally and literally for the first time out of all the girls I've dated or talked to I think I'm in love with her.
I don't know what to do here, it really sucks.
>tfw i get like 15 likes on profile pictures and she gets like 120 so she probably thinks i'm a giant loser now or something
He wanted you to know that he isn't a creepy guy that just wants to fuck you and has no respect for personal boundaries. You replied "lol I actually did think you were a creepy guy that just wants to fuck me and has no respect for personal boundaries." What's wrong with you?
I tend to become very curious at the start of a relationship. I'm afraid of it coming of as clingy while it's just me being overly excited and prolly reckless at times.
Is it acceptable? Should I work on it?
My girlfriend's birthday is coming up, some context about her - she is into cute things and is very sentimental, and wants to get married when we can, I have 2 gift choices (yes, I know, I'm shit at gifts): I will either get her a pre-engagement ring, which kind of doesn't need any explanation, or I can get her perfume.
Go ahead, marry, start your offspring and divorce in 2 years because you never lived together before and are still in honeymoon phase.
Noone is stopping you.
You asked for advice between a ring and a fucking perfume, people told you what they thought about it. You're free to proceed with whichever you like best but honestly (and that comes from someone who just joined the thread), you're not looking for advice but just for validation.
How do you feel about girls who lose their shit at cute things? I like to think of myself as a mature person and my boyfriend says I'm the most mature and responsible girlfriend he's ever had, yet I squeal my brains out at dogs and collect teddies. My boyfriend's mother (who I'm extremely close with) dropped a hint that he's going to surprise me soon with a teddy I've wanted forever. I think it's probably going to make me cry and I feel so dumb and childish for it, I just can't help it though.
What turns me off is when women lose their shit over shocking or distressing things. I don't care if you cry over a teddy bear. I care if you cry when our house is flooding and we need to evacuate. Just grab your fucking teddy bear and let's go.
A pre-engagement ring? Like a promise ring? I would save that for Christmas.
Get her the perfume and do something special because she's sentimental. Take her out on a dumb romantic date and make it memorable.
It depends on how you define 'wet'. Vaginas release a certain amount of discharge every day that changes in quantity and texture depending on factors such as menstrual cycle and activity levels. Girls do get wet for sexual excitement, but girls by default maintain a certain level of moisture as a method of keeping the vagina clean.
Sorry for the grossness.
I think everyone is like that. It's the "honeymoon phase" where everything is new and exciting. The girl probably feels the same way 99% of the time. Just know where the "I'm being annoying" threshold is with your particular girl. I personally have a high threshold for that, and I loved my boyfriend being kind of clingy at the beginning of our relationship.
Well I guess the last one had a low threshold then.
I had to initiate most undirect conversations and even if I restrained myself from doing it more than any other day it felt really bad and forced...
Ultimately it got frustrating and I confronted her. I don't think it's salvageable but I'd rather abort it than not living it.
I was just wondering if I've had done something wrong or not.
Thanks for reassuring me!
Being sorta clingy is kind of my deal with my boyfriend. We kind of got into a cycle where I'm always the one who texts first and I always initiate the conversations. Might sound dumb, but I hate it. Funny enough, if for some reason I don't say my usual "hi babe, how is your day going?" he goes into full "oh no, she's mad at me, what did I fuck up" mode. It's kind of funny.
I don't think you did anything wrong. If you're excited about being in a relationship, I think you should be able to express it as long as you don't go overboard, if you know what I mean. If you want to be excited, be excited. If she can't handle that excitement, maybe she just isn't right for you in general.
>If she can't handle that excitement, maybe she just isn't right for you in general.
Yeah that was my reasoning.
She went full defensive and used arguments like "I did that, that and that! Look I like you!" but honestly it felt like a poor manipulation attempt.
If I don't feel reciprocation in feelings and interest, what is the point, really... I shouldn't have to chase you all the fucking time just to know what you've been doing in the last three days and what you're doing in the next two.
How come white men aren't sought after like white girls are?
They are. Not only do white girls like white guys, but it's a point of pride for women of many other races to bring a white guy home to meet the family. Or, on the flip side, it's extremely taboo to bring home a brown/black/etc. guy.
My sister's husband is mixed arab/white and I can tell you my mum had some serious apprehension about him.
Like the guy is the most harmless, helpful and well educated person I've come across.
Still she gave him some serious shit just because of his origins.
She won't kiss me. 10 months in a relationship, after 12 months chasing her. She says yes online, then clams up in real life. We hugged a few times (note that we'd been together for months at that point), then poof, no more. She won't reply me when I say 'I love you', she'll do anything imply it, yet not say the word 'love'. She's from a conservative background and I'm beta as fuck (and working on changing that). Is she playing me, or does she not love me?
Your significant other periodically gets messages and photos from their mentally unstable ex, that they mostly ignore.
Do you still think it acceptable to tell them to tell their ex to completely leave them alone or do you just trust your SO's method of dealing with the unwanted attention?
Would you be worried that this unhinged ex would try and emotionally manipulate them?
I would told my SO either to get rid of the ex or to block them for good. If she failed to succeed I'd take the matter on my own hands (not necessarily being physical but getting the message accross).
I wouldn't be worried about manipulation, I'd be worried about stalking and obsessive behaviour. I don't want to have to deal with that shit on a daily basis.