what the heck are you playing it, you pillock? Don't you get it that I miss you? Do I really have to apologise and growel on my knees and maybe even offer apologetic blowjob so you'll be friends with me again? Bollocks
Just tell me no already. Or yes. Fuck, just friendzone me and have it over with. Its obvious that you're not interested, but this needs to end one way or another on your terms, or else I'm just going to keep going forever. Shit's killing me
Fuck you. Fuck you so fucking much. I'm sick of you thinking you're so much better than me, you're so much higher and mightier just because you would never kill me. It's fucking shameful, what you do to me. Don't you fucking understand?
I can't do anything I loved without hearing your voice or seeing your face. Why the fuck do you have to do this shit to me? I'm sick of your pity, the way your eyes look when you tell me to stop wasting my time, the way your fingers trail along the cloth against your stomach...I fucking hate you but I'm not ready for you to be gone. Fuck you.
So you found my dating profile and decided to message me. Going through a dry spell or what? Eh, I'll probably entertain your messages for a bit, as long as you don't try to fill me up with that soul mate garbage. I have other options I'm currently weighing, however, and I'm a busy girl, you fuck.
We're both going through tough shit in our lives right now. I don't know whether to thank you for being a great friend or to hate you for opening my eyes to how shitty the rest of my life was. I think we both know we have feelings for each other but the ball is in your court of when you want to decide to finally quit saying you care about me in that way but can't and actually do so. I want so bad to show you affection, want so bad to be loyal to someone who is worthy. But I know it'll never happened. I never knew women could be friend-zoned. Fuck me.
>>16311705 She's JL, I'm JH. She doesn't lurk or anything, so figured there was no reason putting the rest. I've been direct with her, told her my intentions. I just want to stop thinking about it but can't until I get a solid yes or no.
>>16311937 I know that, and I'm not opposing it. Its just that I feel like literally can't. I don't know why, I know I need to but for some reason can't. >inb4 being called beta orbiting faggot Have a job, full time student, and usually very confident. I'm a weeb, but hide my power level in public. I rarely let myself develop feelings for girls because when shit goes downhill this always happens. It sucks.
S cant stop thinking about you. i know im not right for you but i wish i was. i'm not even a fucked up girl and i think that situation would have been off putting for anyone but i really kind of miss you and wish we had handled things better. here's to moving on.
J Didn't know you'd be there last night, happened to walk in to show my friend around. Didn't know anything was going on. Yikes! Well it was awkward for me when you greeted me. The tone in your voice sounded like you were displeased. How uncomfortable... But I also didn't realize that you were there until you did that... So it made me wonder if we had met/interacted many times in the past and I had no idea. I think this is possible. So if that's the case I apologize. I'm not a dick on purpose.
I may have just found an obvious solution to what has been messing up my mind pretty badly these last few days. Moving out isn't something you can decide out of nowhere, and I wasn't sure if selling all those paintings was the right step to raise the money, but then I realized I could still Write my dad an email and ask him for money lol.
Then again I'm not sure if that would get me a job... holy shit, this is so fucking hard
>>16312087 Through work. She doesn't work there anymore though. I was only interested because she was interested in me first. After I told her my intentions she wanted us to get to know each other better first to see where things go. But every time I'd ask her to do, well anything, even grabbing coffee or something casual, she's say she's too busy.
>>16312228 That's sad. What job do you have if you don't mind me asking. I used to work at a nail place and there was this metrosexual guy who worked there too and I had a massive crush on him but whenever he asked me out I would freeze up and make a dumb excuse. So keep trying.
Honestly, this whole thing feels so forced that I don't know what to believe anymore. It's reaching a point that it doesn't even cross my mind that it could be a real thing. I call you every day sharing what's in my head and how I feel, yet you ask me not to ignore or mislead you because I won't check my facebook inbox? It's just so weird that sometimes I think I may be talking to your retarded friend.
I have feelings for you, and a stronger connection that I ever felt to anybody, but come on, don't you think this is a little extreme? I mean, we haven't seen each other irl in like 2 years (!!!) and only talk on the phone, what do you really expect? Because I have no idea myself.
Let's be honest, you could sub both of those out for random person. This is the 21st century, women are losers too.
If someone keeps calling with random accusations, with no base in reason, logic, fact or history, that's slander. Slap a bitch if necessary or report, just stop taking the bait.
Jesus man, get your shit together.
>Shit, the girl I dated when I was underage, who is still underage is dating someone else >Better take up binge drinking, smoking weed and dating her friend, which would be cool if I didn't loathe her.
Stay sober for a week at least.
You were a crazy asshole. Don't flip your shit when people point out that being a vigilante might not be the best idea. Again.
Pretty sure you cockblocked me on a lot of occasions. You're also kind of an asshole to me sometimes. Not cool, not cool.
You molested me as a kid, and yes, I do remember. I don't care if it was around 13 years ago, if there is even a whisper that you treat your kid cruelly in any way, shape, or form, I will make sure the key is thrown away. Oh, but thanks for shaping my early ideas on women.
Fuck you, if you're getting harassed, come tell me and I'll sort shit out. None of this anti white knight shit, I'll help who I damn well please, and if I have to drag you kicking and screaming in one piece, I'll bloody do it.
i hate you so much. you lie to everyone including yourself. I thought mothers were supposed to love their kids but you dont. you have called me and continue to call me worthless, useless, pathetic, a piece of shit etc. and remeber that one time you grabbed me by the neck and tried to kill me? well i do and one day im going to disappear and you wont even have a picture of me. my dad doesnt say shit because you have diabetes and blah blah blah but you know what?? that shit doesnt do it you do. do fuck yourself you entitled, selfish savage.
I'm not flipping my shit, I just want to focus on what will help me the most in the future. I know the dancing lessons your mom offered me ended up going nowhere, and that may have been my fault, but let's be honest, we all know that wouldn't take me anywhere.
I'm thankful for this new gig writing the restaurant menu, but tell your mom I need to know if it's gonna help me in the big picture. I really don't want to work in her restaurant forever with no chances of ever being capable of managing one myself. Or at least be a legitimately good and respectable employee...
Fuck, I'm just really tired of playing your mom's games. I need those freaking papers
Dear Ex GF Fuck you. I hope your liver fails when you're pregnant with your first child, and you die on the table giving birth. That way you'll burn in hell forever and your piece of shit husband will have to look after your kid alone, and every day when he looks into your childs eyes be reminded of you dying. -E
>>16312294 I work as a CNA in a dimentia/alzheimers specialty facility. The job itself brings out the best in me, which I thought would be good for the situation. Why would you freeze up? Did he take it as disinterest?
Stick with singing and dancing, eventually you're going to get tired of it, but keep on doing it even to the point where it kills you. You'll find yourself on a path that will keep you employed and give your life direction. Also don't throw any of your school work away and always keep a record of it. Expect a lot of crap to happen after your uncle is put on trial. Dad will tell you he cheated on mom. Don't read too much into what the preachers and parents say in regards to religion (they don't know it, but they don't know what the truth is either) Keep all of your video game consoles (don't be tempted to throw them away/sell them/give them away simply because you feel god is telling you to do it.) These are lies. Also, try to hang out with Shadow and Ben more. Shadow will die due to cancer that you spot (parents won't pay attention to what you say) Ben will lose contact with you after Mom and Dad join a "house church". Do not go to the career center during your senior year of highschool. Don't let Ally convince you that all you're hard earned trophies and achievements are worth nothing. When you go to college, make sure you fill out any and all the scholarship forms that you can. Always study especially for the SATs and State Mandated Tests you'll take in 10th grade. Don't back down from bullies, and don't be so sensitive. DJ will wind up getting kicked out of school anyway. Also, try to be closer friends with Maranda, Zach, Harmony, Giles, Bizzo, Mrs. House, and your teachers. Also, do school projects without your parents help. Mom will be going through enough trouble with the separation and working as a nurse. Oh, and unless Prince George stops peeing once he gets inside the house, he'll be dumped in a field. Mom will get sick of cleaning up after him. Don't be afraid to be a man. Ask Dad to explain birds and the bees and teach you how to shave, if he says he doesn't have time, ask Ben. Keep old cellphone
I hoped that you would have said "Happy Birthday" to me today, at least. I sent you a card for yours. But I guess not hearing anything then and not hearing anything today means that you really don't care about me anymore at all.
I'm just really tired, can't focus on things I used to and can't bring myself to talk about the most trivial topics like TV shows and stuff. Don't worry, it's not anyone's fault and specially not yours. I'm a religious person and maybe it's just what God had in mind for me, but the truth is His plan sounds really fucking retarded.
I regret dating you. It was a really bad time in my life and I was vulnerable and fucked up. The whole relationship was a mistake, but I still didn't harbor any ill will against you until you started talking shit about me to everyone we both know. What pissed you off so badly anyways? Was it how I reacted to you breaking up with me? Was I supposed to be sadder? Get fucked, you don't get to be upset about how someone reacts to you breaking up with them. You wanted me to fuck off, shouldn't you be happy that I was happy to do so? Whatever, anyways just please stop being such a cunt whenever I have to be around you.
let me do down on you oh my god iтАЩm aching bc i can straddle you and grind on you and bite your lips and kiss your neck all i want and donтАЩt think i didnтАЩt notice the way your breath hitched when i touched the small of your back you literally had to stop midword for a couple seconds i can trace figure eights on your ribs and tangle my hands in knots in your hair and play your tummy like a piano with feather light fingertips and trace your nipples with my mouth and rub little circles where your hipbones join your thighs through your pockets but all of thatтАЩs teasing and all i want to do is see how you look in just skin and taste how you taste and show you how much i love you and make you moan my name i donтАЩt want to just tease you and play games i want to get you needy yes but then i want to make you cum and feel your thighs shake around my head p l e a s e
I wait for you. I always will. Sometimes when I get a phone call or a text, I get excited because it could be you. But who am I kidding? You're not talking to me right now because you're working yourself out, or you're with someone else. Who knows. I'm here when you're ready to talk, if that ever happens.
I still love you, you know. I think about you sometimes (more times than I'll ever admit), and I wonder how you're doing. How your life is, and everything in between.
So, please. Just talk to me. Come over and talk, something. Anything. We ended before it really began, and even though I'm sure you're still going through what you've been going through.. But maybe we can rekindle that spark.
I know damn well that overcoming personal obstacles is easier with someone by your side supporting you.
P.S. Even if you or your friends never see this. For what it's worth.. I'm still head over heels in love with you, you big dork.
To: Gabriela T. We'll be seeing a lot of each other near the end of the month and I know we're both looking forward to it. I'm sorry to have to tell you now, but I'll be moving to the US early next year. I know you'll try to be happy for me and pretend like you're okay with it. I want to let you know that you don't have to do that. Thinking about living so far makes me miss you already. I want our time to be memorable so I won't tell you till near the end. I want to build a stronger friendship with you so that we may share our accomplishments over the distance. I'm sorry I won't be there when you cry, or whenever you may need me. I wish our memories bring you more happiness than sadness. I'm not your only friend, its silly of you to say that but thank you. I know what you mean. Sincerely J.A.
>>16311734 settle down, they won't be there forever.
>>16311836 Women can be friendzoned but in your case it seems it was rushed. Start over and seek deeper friendship. Let it naturally turn into love.
>>16311852 Maybe your person met someone new in Graduate School? Maybe the past is haunting them. Some people need distance even people that love each other. Try to understand from a different perspective.
you look really cute in the boots you started wearing to work, and I'm also still completely infatuated with you. I'm probably going to leave you alone now though, you don't seem as receptive as I thought you'd be.
W First you said it was a longtime thing now you say it's for a few months? Which one is it? I have to admit I'm having my doubts about the whole new life thing again, I feel like I don't have means to solve this problem and will never be sure until divine intervention of some kind. I don't know... I feel like backing out. Seriously, this is a terrible and something I can never guarantee in such conditions.
About us, what I can say is that I would love to spend some time with you. Even Pay you a visit myself one day hahah.
T- What can I say, you're always on my mind however, the fact that you've subtly turned down my advances to get close means that im not the one for you. This saddens me greatly, but I only wish the best for you. With much love J
You are not actually teaching our class, you hand us a paper with a few solutions to specific formulas then sit in your chair letting the class turn to chaos for an hour before letting us leave. Please actually teach us about transistors; I don't want to fail, I want to learn. Sincerely, me
Can't stop writing songs about you, and thinking about you. Why?? We don't even talk that much. I know that I just want a crush to linger on sometimes, but this has lingered for like way longer than expected, and with such infrequent contact. You're not interested in me. Or are you? I don't know, but you're probably not going to leave your boyfriend... I wish you'd fuck off out of my mind. Or kiss me. I just want to write poetry about you. I want to describe you and breathe you in and express you out. This sucks.
Alright, I get it I am inadequate because of my performance anxiety. We still have a good time together though. I've come to realise you are pretty rude, ignorant and distant. It is all just masked in political rhetoric. Maybe going our separate ways is for the best.
Holy shit dude learn to stick up for yourself. Dad was right, you gotta do shit yourself. DRINKING WONT HELP YOUR PROBLEMS it'll make you feel slower. Skipping school will be tempting. Don't do it. You'll leave Dad and you'll realize you're just like him and you like being alone. Mom is fucked, don't listen to her. Study hard. Don't let Brandon do his crazy shit. Don't let Donavon act like a fag. If you want to, fuck Leah. I didn't. Your bio teacher is right, don't smoke weed until you're older. The only thing that helps your pain is working on something you love. Oh yeah, people aren't lying when they say you're great at writing. Hone that talent. People naturally like you, so don't worry about being totally alone. I believe in you homie <3
I really really want to go but sometimes it's hard to imagine that I would have a future for myself there, and that's what makes me feel like backing out. I just wish I had the papers so I could say a simple "yes" or "no" and get on with my training.
I hope you don't worry about us, you've done nothing wrong but those are things that I have to figure out for myself (God please help me). And again, IF everything goes wrong I could always pay you a visit from time to time. Pls stop drinking. After all this shit one thing I know is that I would love to see you.
R I just want to know if you give half a shit anymore. We're married, but I see you MAYBE an 2 hours out of the day. You come home 3 to six hours late every night. I only see you when you sleep. I know you're going to BUBs house, and not just when your friend is there. You said you wanted a family, now you do everything to avoid it. I try to be chill about it since I can be a jealous prick, but I'm not stupid. I am trying to give you every opportunity to do what is right and tell me what's going on, but every other day, I catch you in a lie. Yet everyday you tell me you love me. I do love you, and I will fight for you, I hope you, BUB and AJ understand that, because I can't keep playing along with your bs.
>>16312301 >Honestly, this whole thing feels so forced that I don't know what to believe anymore. It's reaching a point that it doesn't even cross my mind that it could be a real thing. I call you every day sharing what's in my head and how I feel, yet you ask me not to ignore or mislead you because I won't check my facebook inbox? It's just so weird that sometimes I think I may be talking to your retarded friend.
this is what I'm talking about, I said all I had to say and you call it bullshit or a lie. I don't know what you expect me to do, if you don't believe me when I talk to you then what's the point?
I fucking love you. I'd spend the rest of my days alone with you if I had to. So please stop sending me mixed signals. Jesus christ. You don't lean on me and lay your head on my shoulder for what felt like an eternity and an hour later say that you could never love a friend. Please stop.
I wrote you, but you still haven't called. I've provided all the necessary means of contact; you will see at the bottom of the letter that I have inscribed my cell, my home phone number, and also my pager #. I have written to you previously, last fall in fact. I believe you never received them. Presumably the USPS still hasn't worked out all the kinks in their system, ha-ha. Or maybe I just don't write the addresses legibly. I digress. How have you been? How is your daughter? I have recently discovered that I may too become a father soon. My girlfriend is pregnant. If the child ends up being a girl, I was thinking of naming her Bonnie. What do you think?
I was sad to hear of your uncle Ronnie passing. I had a friend who committed suicide. He was extremely depressed over yet another girl rejecting him.
I'm sure this has become a tired phrase to you, one you hear every day, but I am your biggest supporter. Even before you were famous, I love all of your work. I've decorated my bedroom with your image and memorabilia. I also enjoyed the work you did with Rawkus. It was great.
Well, I'm really dragging on here. I hope you get this letter, at least. Write me back if you'd like to talk sometime.
>>16314746 P.S. - Am I right in assuming you think I'm overdoing the whole smoking weed thing? Because if that's what it takes for us to be together, I'll stop entirely. A single cuddle with you is worth 100 joints.
>>16314770 much like these stupid fucking threads where you cowards write passive aggressive notes to girls that you can't get the courage to actually talk to or to your parents who made life hard for you sometimes. everything's been done to death. eat my ass.
>>16314810 as proof that my autism truly knows no bounds;
I still haven't heard from you. I hope you'll be able to take a second from your busy life soon to reply. I'm not upset. I just think it's absolutely abhorrent that you refuse to reply to the people who give you the most support and love. If you were tired after your concert and didn't feel like acknowledging me, that's fine. But the least you could do is sign something for my little brother, Matthew. He is only 6. We waited outside, in the frigid winter air, for you to come and do or say something, anything, to us. Four hours we waited like this. And you just said "No."
That wasn't cool. Matthew idolizes you. He mimics you. You're his biggest role model. I think he appreciates you even more than I do.
I really am not upset, though. I just don't appreciate being lied to.
I recall the time we met in Denver. Do you? You said...you explicitly said that if I were to write you, you would write back.
I think you forget how similar we are. I never knew my father. He was abusive to my mother, he would sleep with other women and then come home and beat her. See, I relate to you quite a lot. So when I'm feeling down, I listen to your music. I feel as though I don't have anything else, and your work really helps me when I'm depressed. Because of how important you are to me, I've chosen to have your name tattooed on my body as a constant reminder.
Occasionally, I dabble in self harm. I just want to see how much I'll bleed. It's like a high, a sudden uplifting rush that reminds me that yes, i am still alive.
You speak the truth, even its nastiness, and I respect you for it. My girlfriend is actually a little envious because I talk about you so much. She just doesn't understand the struggles we have both been through.
You must call me. I'll be the biggest fan you ever lose.
Q I don't know... Every time I think about my choices and it's consequences in the future I start having many doubts about everything. You're not the problem and never was, but if I told you I'm sure about one thing or another I would be lying.
I never said "no" because I do want to be with you, but I also never said "yes" because I truly don't know what it means for me for many reasons. I really believe it's something that we could only get through by talking face to face, or at least in private.
>>16313797 I apologize for coming off as cold. I shut down when I feel rejected, and remove people from my memory. I can't handle mixed signals either, and don't have the time to wait for someone to decide if they want to be in my presence.
Chances are I'm not "her" but maybe she and I are similar.
IтАЩd like to start by saying that this is absolutely no oneтАЩs fault. Particularly you, mom and dad. You guys did a great job, could not have been better. You were always supportive of everything I did, and pushed me to do the best things for myself. I should have been more appreciative, IтАЩm sorry. You guys really were as good as possible to me.
I feel guilty for wasting so much of your efforts and time. I wish I could have made you guys proud, or that I was capable of making your investment in me worthwhile. Unfortunately, I am utterly worthless as a person. This is despite your incredible efforts in giving me value. The truth of the matter is, I intrinsically am worthless.
I guess the reason why IтАЩm killing myself is because IтАЩm incapable of being what I want. I am very lonely. I wanted to have friends, and I thank those who tolerated me enough to let me hang out with them.
As time went on though, it became evident that friendship was great, but I am incapable of maintaining the type of relationships I wanted. I wanted to do fun things with others, normal things. I wanted to feel like I had value as a person. One of the most crushing things that constantly got me down was my inability to develop relationships with girls. Being disgusting to over half the human race was heart wrenching, and the daily confirmation of my unattractiveness led me spiraling further into depression. I do not blame any girls- I wouldnтАЩt like me either. I donтАЩt think anyone would have ever had any reason to like me.
I feel like at 25, my best days are over. If any girl would have ever like me, it would have happened by now. There is no point in continuing suffering. I just want the pain of being alone to end. There is nothing for me, no spark of hope. Nothing I can do will ever fix anything, I will always be this way. I will never find someone who likes me, because IтАЩm unloveable as a person.
IтАЩm tired. Tired of waiting. Tired of trying for nothing.
I like you a lot. You are the first woman I have opened up to in years. You are not one of the cum dumpsters I usually fuck just to get relieve. Sadly you seem to have lost interest after our last date. We could have been amazing together. I'll miss you for a while but won't remember you for long. You have no idea what you are missing.
F, I know I don't have the right to be mad at you as we agreed this wasn't serious. Yet, it hurts that you said you weren't ready for a relationship at the moment and now you say you're in love with another girl, right after I took your virginity. If that's all you wanted, to get rid of it, then you should have told me that in the beginning. I know you're a liar. Don't hurt anyone else. Unrelated, you're a jerk.
T When I'm not thinking about my work I'm thinking of you or ways to make you happy. The thing is I need to solve this work issue before anything else, and to be honest I'm just really tired and feel like backing out.
I can't wait to talk to you in private again.
D I don't know if your father is trying to help but those signs he wrote for our store isn't helpful at all. They literally don't make it any better, not even a single one of them. Sorry if he had good intentions but they just make things a lot worse. I need to see the contract. And I couldn't care less if anyone thinks I'm whiny, that store is old as shit and lost it's charm a long time ago.
C Hi, haven't talked to you in a while but that's because things are quite troublesome for me hahah. Love your work, you go girl :P
To whoever finds this, I'm sorry. This isn't because of you, emma, the drugs, my past or my future, it's because of my present. If there were a way I could spare your feelings, trust me I would and that is the one thing I wish I could change about the situation you now find yourselves in.
To Ed, you were a fantastic friend, you never let me down and I'm sorry for what I've done to you, I know times are tough but just think, in a year you'll be out of this mess, you'll be out in the world and you can do whatever you'd like, just believe in yourself.
Emma, I miss you, I wish things worked out between us, I'm sorry we were busy, If I could have taken time off believe me I would have, I'd never have taken this job if I knew what it would do to us.
Elijah, you hang in there man, I did the same as long as I could, I just couldn't deal with this long enough. I wish I knew you better, I wish we had one more smoke, one more drink, one more hit or anything. Your company was more addicting than anything I've ever taken, stay just the way you are.
I wish I had more time for you all, or rather, I wish you all had time for me, I'm sorry for what I'm about to put you all through and if there were another way I'd have taken it. Forgive me or resent me, you'll move on and you'll look back on these words with a dull pain, the sting of which sanded and worn by time. The burden will never go away but you'll make room for it, at least I hope you will, all of you, hang in there.
I find you super adorable and want to start hanging out more. We just always seem to have an awesome time when we're together. I know the whole "us being coworkers" situation is awkward, but I'll be damned if I won't give it a try. For better or worse, I will find out if we have a chance.
I've been thinking about writing this since I last saw you. It's been almost two months. It feels like just yesterday. It feels like a lifetime ago. It broke my heart walking away from you, telling you not to come as I walked out the door and away from you. I know you had your hand resting against my ass - I didn't tell you to move it because I knew it would be the last time we ever touched each other. I was so angry and furious and upset and confused and frankly astounded that given everything that had happened, you decided that touching me was the best choice. But I know now, after lots of introspection and thought, why I didn't say anything.
I was driving today and you crossed my mind, as you do multiple times a day. But it wasn't the usual storm of emotions and "what-ifs." Instead it was a moment of absolute clarity that I hadn't seen before. It was like everything that had happened since the day I met you condensed into a perfect realization. I cried because it took me so long to realize it.
I love you Mark, I really do. And I know you're in love with me too. But we're simply not right for each other. This isn't a case of "maybe later on in life" or "Perhaps at a different time." We're just not meant to be. A relationship between us would be toxic. You know that already - look at what happened. I'm too independent for you. You're too much of a sweetheart to withstand the hurricane I have inside.
I do miss my friend though. I miss being able to talk about anything and everything. I miss browsing the Walmart for strange food we've never encountered before. I miss telling you about my country and painting pictures of my winter wonderlands. I miss your accent and trying to decipher your slang words. I miss exploring caribbean "ghettos" and Alaskan mountains. I miss planning vacations around the world.
But the reason I haven't sent this letter to you is because I know that when I do, you'll back with a vengeance. I hate to use that word, but it's true...
>>16316714 ...I would be getting emails every few days, Then Twitter messages, then Facebook messages... I had you blocked on social media for the longest time. You needed to get away from me as much as I needed to get away from you. I run the risk of losing my relationship by getting in contact with you again. And I don't want to go behind his back. I already did and it nearly destroyed me. It's either I remain in contact with you or continue in my relationship. I'm sorry, but we both know what choice I have to make. As I said, even if we did break up you wouldn't be the person I would go running to.
I've written out all these words so many times before. Each time masking it in words of anger, or of regret, or of hopeful desperation. I know I said hurtful things to you. I'm sorry for what I said. I did mean it, but I shouldn't have said it to you. Well, maybe I did. If only to force you away so we could both have some time to ourselves.
I don't know how to end this. I don't know how to pick up the threads of everything that I'm feeling and package it into a neat little paragraph. I don't know how to phrase this to comfort you too. Maybe this letter will help. Maybe it'll just hurt you more. But for me, it's a relief to finally write this down and have all the auxiliary emotions removed.
If you do write back, don't do it in a hurry. Wait. Write a reply and then delete it. We both know how much you can speak before you think. It took me two months to get this all down. I would be disappointed to hear back within a week.
It's finally been more than a week without you. I feel a bit lonelier than I usually do because you're not in my life anymore, but I think it's for the better. I loved you for the past two years and only recently did I try to bend a little so you could be happy too, but I realized that I shouldn't do that because there's no need for me to prove myself to you. You know what I'm like. You know I'm a huge dick and I'm smart and funny yet helpful and responsible yet still laidback and a bunch of other things, but you kept on asking for so much more of me than you would of any other guy.
Good luck getting into medical school. I would have been more than fine with helping you out if we were more than just friends because it would have been great if we both got into medical school while being in a relationship. I would've tutored you and everything and I wouldn't have been as bothered by helping you if we were more, but you just wanted to be friends and I'm not going to give you any special treatment over any of my other friends because I'm not that kind of person.
I'm weak. I think about texting you all the time. I see your snaps and open them and I'm surprised I've only responded to like three of them. It'll get better, I suppose. It's way harder for me to find a girlfriend than it is for me to find a new "best friend," and for you it's the opposite so just good luck. Good luck with everything.
A To clarify, it never crossed my mind that you were a bad person or that I didn't like you. It's just that this whole process is so incredibly pathetic (and I say this with all my heart) that it's hard to focus on the good aspects of it such as the friendship of the family.
I want to take this job, but making up my mind is the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. Sure, it sounds fun at first, but then what? I have no idea, and I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. B
I'm still not happy with you even though we're back to being strong friends again. You led me on and made me wait for your decision. By the time a week had gone by I'd had enough. Sometimes I regret what we'd done. Now I know that ultimately ending things before they started is the best thing for me right now.
Life would be so much easier if you weren't in denial. YOUR life would be so much easier if you had just accepted the help all those years ago. But you didn't, and now look where you are. Are you really happy like that? We could have been a happy family, and you destroyed that. You held onto a grudge that didn't actually exist, for reasons I'll never understand. And you also lied to me for 15 years, and still wonder why I didn't talk to you for the next 5.
And despite all that...I forgive you. Dad forgives you too. Please stay safe.
K I don't think taking some time alone was the wrong decision. I have to think for myself right now and I really don't believe talking to you on facebook all day would help me. I never get any satisfying answer and they always seem cloudy and uncertain, which makes me feel even worse.
Sometimes I feel like I'm being deluded into thinking I could have a decent job too, so please even if the chances are as low as 0.001% just tell me. I can overcome it easier that way.
If you think this is being rude I wonder what you would think of what my brown neighbor did to my dog.
>>16311663 Letter 1) to nameless relative I'll always love you because your family, but I wish you wouldn't have made my mom cry so much or conspire against her, not caring of the damage it inflicts or consequences it renders. You've become selfish and vengeful for what you perceive was unequal treatment from your father and choose to react with a purpose towards making my mom out to be some villian. It makes me sick to see the person you've become, but I still hope you realize one day you're better than this... You don't have to stress everyone out with threats.
Letter 2) to nameless guy I'm just not interested in you anymore, you've become a different person over the years with no resemblance to the man I liked so much. We're both very different from our past selves honestly; what we had began a long time ago to fester into something depressing, born out of past experience with one another. Can't we both admit this would have never worked out?
I can't understand how you're upset over me "cheating", if you're actually upset.
It's unimaginable that you wanted us to behave like a real couple. Being honest sometimes I think it's even part of the joke
I can't understand how you could develop such strong feelings for me. Are you sure that's what you're saying it is? Are you sure it's not something else?
You're the person I feel the closest to in these last few months and I'm always telling you the truth, but if I said the same thing you've been saying to me it would be a lie. I told you how I feel about you many times and things haven't changed, if you won't have that as an answer I guess that's it, but I hope we can work it out in some way.
I don't know why you've been saying I'm bullshitting, so when I open up and that's the response I get it's not really encouraging to open up again.
being completely honest here, hoping for the same dryness.
I know I fucked up. I shouldn't have done what did but I already apologized so many times I can't stress the regret enough.
I don't get what you want from me. I think a part of you wants me to suffer because somebody did to you what I did to them. But I already told you I am sorry a thousand times and tried to explain to you that I was at an age where curiosity and impulse got the best of me and a line was crossed.
I think you're blowing the situation out of proportion partially to find out whether or not I really am sorry for what I did. But I also think that the ones involved (who are nearly all grown up at this point), aren't really all that afflicted by the incident as I spoke with them about it six months ago before you contacted me and apologized then. They seemed to understand more than you can seem to.
Whatever the case, I am once again very sorry for the pain that I caused both you and U, and god rest G's soul that she found out before she died. She was a good woman and looked out for all of us. The last thing she said to me before she died as she held out her hand in mine was something that I don't think I'll ever forget. "Become the man you want to be."
Allow me the opportunity to fulfill that last request. I feel like you don't know if whether or not you should, and I don't know if I should just off myself before it destroys my reputation or if I should allow myself to be happy either.
Anyways, I hope everyone is alright. I don't talk to anyone in the family anymore.
A, I wish we could spend more time together and that things weren't always so awkward. I'd love to get to know you better; I think we could be great friends, even more than friends if you wanted. I just get so nervous around you. P.
E, I thought about calling you I didn't call you I don't even have your number It feels so emotionally volatile, bringing up our breakup I'm not sure yet what my intentions are But I feel like I'm moving towards wanting to try again We could try this over Maybe I should get over you before I talk to you You're definitely over it. But that's why I want to call you to get over it or feel it again I read our old messages from when it was good and I'm maybe still in love with you -C
J I don't want you to feel bad over a misunderstanding, I just wanted to let you know what I had in mind.
I wish I knew what you truly have in mind too so we can look for solutions, I never know if it's you or your sister telling me you don't like me anymore and stuff so I don't know how to reply
The job thing gets harder to decide by the day, but once this is all over all I want is to talk to you in private. I don't know if you would still want to talk to me so I could be making a fool of myself, but whatever.
M, It's scary to me the many things we have in common, and it kills me to know that I may not be able to push myself to talk to you. (inb4 beta fag) for fucks sake, we live 3 houses away and have near all the same interests. But soon it'll be done, and I'll be in college and I'll have some new infatuation but it doesn't make this struggle any easier. I'm working to better myself, not for me but so maybe, just maybe you'd notice me, and I can talk without feeling sef concious about myself. Forever Yours, A
I'm sorry if I can't be the person you want me to right now. The truth is I'm tired and can't change, you have nothing to do with it and you've only been helpful, but playing our old games and watching our favorite movies is something that I really don't feel like doing these last few days as much as I like spending time with you
Become a better person and drop your bad habits for yourself
>>16317737 Surprisingly it can be sometimes the most unexplained trait about you that can drive a person away even something simple that you dont think would matter but to them it drives them absolutely insane to the point of not wanting to be around you.
Initials? They match a friend of mine who broke up with someone almost a year ago
You shouldn't have destroyed yourself. This world wasn't good enough for you, but you had a chance to make it better and I can't even tell if you did or not. What if your music educating just puffed up all those kids full of the same illusions that killed you, what if one of them went on to do something great, what if one of their children goes on to do something great because of you? Who knows, I'm a crab in the mud and can't see the ocean waves above me, much less guess where it's taken your soul into the future. Damn you and bless you you goddamned shit.
Have the balls to tell me what you're thinking, please. I've reached out to you, and I've been met with silence. If we're through, tell me, give me something to fight at least, don't just disappear from my life. I don't need you to love me, I don't need that kind of relationship, but I can't handle losing you completely again.
Dear J, I wish you didn't have to leave me tonight in my sorrows in these beers. I wish we could just have our night together, fucking, making passionate sex that we've missed over the course of months. I wanted you to stay and you could tell just by the tears I was shedding that you wanted to but you had better matters to attend to. I felt like I didn't matter at that time and I've been yearning for this moment with you for the longest. I have always awaited for you everyday to just pop out of nowhere and just love me again. I wish you were here, I wish you were with me, I wish you could just talk to me and talk about all our problems, talk about all the bullshit that has been going on with our lives, whatever thought comes to mind. I know you fucking miss me because out of the fucking blue, you message me for a smoke. I left you that long message telling you that I missed you and that I wish we could just talk over a beer, catch up you know? I'm really hurt that you left me tonight alone and in tears when you walked away. I know you have some remorse for leaving me but I await for your message tonight. I await for the next time we see each other. I knew you had second thoughts when you showed up and looked at the wall, not even looking at me and when I showed up, you looked at me like "You and I are here finally." I fucking miss you. I fucking wish I had you again. I wish you didn't have to leave. I wish you were mine. I FUCKING LOVE YOU AND YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND AND THAT'S WHAT FUCKING HURTS ME THE MOST. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND MY LOVE FOR YOU.
I'm sorry for our fucked up past. I'm sorry for hurting you. I wish we could do this all again. I wish we could just make love, have serenity like we used to.
It was probably lame as fuck when I poured my heart out over email while we were still doing that cutesy email conversation stuff, but I just wanted to get that out of the way since all our friends were spreading rumors and it would have led to the same result anyways. After that, things definitely changed a bit and I started acting weird and my motives changed.
Anyways, after half a year of not talking to each other, I was glad that we finally started again, and those feelings started coming back to me. They've died down since and I'm glad we can still have the same conversations we had in the past, but lately I haven't been feeling it. I still want to talk to you but it's become sterile and I have no idea what to talk about anymore.
Dear G, 4 years and for my bday i get a fucking $10 wallet? I bought you a fucking $250 watch for your birthday. You said youd take me to a shooting range with the groupon credit we had ( by "we" i mean MY fucking refund ) and that still hasnt happened. 4 years together, i spend a shitload of money, you don't put out. You flirt with other guys. Why the fuck are we together? -G
G I still love you. I know you don't love me or like me anymore but I do. I love you more than Z. I would pick you over him even know I'm dating him. A
Z I love G. I'm sorry. I know you love me but I don't love you. I don't know if it was a good idea to date you again when I love another. Sorry. I'm sorry you won't know this until the relationship ends. A
I have been on the verge of suicide nearly every day since july. I constantly think about my own death without wanting to and have mutilated my body with violence and drugs. I am a tattered wreck and will never tell you just how bad it is because I want you to keep thinking that I'm strong so you never lose hope. I love you and I hope I am still alive by the time you graduate so we can get married like we promised. With love, --
I would love to be by your side every day, and no matter my choices in the future, know that I'll always have strong feelings for you and I will always have you as one of the best persons I've ever met. Honestly, probably even the best of all.
But I have to value my independence first. One day I want to have my own house, my own job, make money from my own work, and I wanna work on something that I'm actually good at and not getting the job out o pity or something.
I want to be able to come back to my city one day, and if I do that I don't want you to be hurt. A long-term thing is just completely out of my mind at the moment. Never blame yourself or your attitudes for that, it's definitely a me thing.
Again, if everything goes wrong I hope you reply me on facebook one day so we can talk in private once more.
dear, all that i talk to the fact that i am talking to you means you have my interest but that is a long shot from me wanting to get in your pant sure i may be friendly-er then most but god damn it i just want to know you better. not so love T
It's not a nice thing to try to guilt-trip me because I rejected you. I'm sorry to say, but you need to get over yourself. I added you from the group chat on Skype because I wanted to make a new friend, not this. I made that very clear from the start.
I waited for you for so long. I missed you so mhuch. You hurt me so bad inside. I loved you with all my heart, but you turned it all to hatred. I wished dead upon you, but I dont care. I forgive. I forget. I am yours forever more. I love you!!
Every day since I met you I dream with my eyes open and closed. All night I dream of making love to you, more and more until it hurts. Until that hurt, transcends all pain and turns to pleasure, then bliss, then heaven on Earth. I can not get you out of my mind. I think about you night and day. I feel like I have known you forever from before or maybe another lifetime, like you are walking straight out of my dreams and imagination. I can not believe it. And I can not stop! I need to be with you. You feel like drugs to me. You must be drugs! I need to keep fucking you and touching you, because if I stop, maybe I will wake up and it wont be real. I dont only want to get to know you. That is not enough. I want all of you. Mind, body, and soul. I am greedy. I want to feel everything you have to give. Non-stop. Always and forever. I want to touch you while you are awake and sleeping. I want to devour your soul, face, lips, and neck. Plunge my tongue deep into your pussy, until I drink all your juices dry, but that wont happen, because you will always be wet for me. You will leave little snail trails all over the house. Like secret little love messages. I want to rub my thick hard cock on your clit till we both cant stand it. Then plunge it deep inside your tight wet pussy and fuck you long and hard and deep all night. Make you cum over and over again on my cock. Get the whole bed wet with sweat and cum.
>>16318888 I want every part of you. My tongue touches you and feels like magic. I will eat your pussy untill you think you are dying. I will get you addicted to sucking my cock. You wont be able to go a day without doing it. I am gonna fuck you so hard with my rock hard cock over and over and over again. You will need hundreds and hundreds of panties, because you will always be dripping wet for me constantly. I want my hot cum to be dripping down your legs constantly. I want you to have trouble walking forever after me. Again in dreams we shall continue our never ending dance. As you slumber my cock gets super hard. It gets hard all night thinking of you. You turn me on so mhuch. Once my dick gets a whif of your tight wet pussy it will annihilate you again and again. You will never remember anyone else after I am done with you. Nobody is ever gone fuck you this good. Nobody is ever gone make you feel this loved. You will ache so bad everytime I get my cock inside you. You will not feel complete unless my cock is inside you, one with you. It will never end. You can ask me to end it, and beg me to stop, but it will go on and on. Until we are both paralyzed with love and fuck!
What makes me different from people who think about revenge, but never act? Is there a profile for mass murderers? And my argument is that I am so disturbed I should do something about it. It seems like every other month there is another school shooting. I might as well kill myself.
>>16311663 Dear C, we've been close friends for so long now, and now that you live so far away it's made me realise how much you mean to me. I should've asked you out, I was so certain our friendship was just that, friendship. But now I realise that I want to be more than your friend. When we next speak on the phone I'm asking you out. Fuck the distance, I can't stand feeling like this anymore, I want to give us a shot.
I am really keen on you, I am glad we got the chance to get to know each other and I am glad its going well. You're a great catch for someone like me, and even though I am stuck in the country now and I was about to leave, maybe theres a reason for me not to be upset that I am not heading back to uni.
I used to like hanging out with you bots, but after this shooting you've been flooded with /b/tards. I'm breaking up with you, bots. It was fun. Hopefully I'll be able to move past my depression, maybe you will too.
It would be quite saddening to find out that you got off the bus earlier just to avoid having to talk to me on the way to uni. I sincerely hope that you went to cross the road for some predetermined reason, and not because you find me creepy/annoying. Even though our conversation today gave me a pretty good idea of where I stand, I still need to confirm that you really were just trying to be nice when you rejected me two weeks ago. Even if you have no interest at all, it would be nice to have somebody to talk to on the way to uni sometimes. I really do hope to have the opportunity to speak to you soon.
Why do you treat me like you do now, you only wanted to stay friends but now you just treat me like utter shit. I get that you may not like me like you used to, I still sorta like you how I used to but you don't have to go around just to make the effort to be a dick to me. I'd really like to just cut you off and be happy but whenever I try to you always think I'm annoyed. The reality is I'm too much of a pussy to say that you make me feel bad on a daily basis and how you don't see this makes me so surprised. So I really don't know I'm probably just gonna stop talking to you cause it's probably why I never feel happy.
Just realized that going on that trip with you guys is the thing that I most want in my life... again. But idk, every time I stop to think where my life could go from there I have this feeling that this may not be the right thing. What I really need right now is certainty, and from the looks of it it's not something that I'll get very soon so for now I'll just string along and see where it leads.
Sorry if I'm not communicating as frequently as before, that group is just really shitty and the jokes got old fast. Nothing against anyone in there though
How I wish you were still around. Your voice is all I dream about, other than you. Why can't you be here with me? I haven't done you wrong and I would never think of anyone else but you. I just don't get why did you treat me like shit earlier. You were so nice at first and you just fucking hated me by the time we drifted apart.
I loved you, S. I will love you until the day I die. I cannot wait until the day we are reunited again.
I might forgive you if talk to me. It was a real dick move what you did but a part of me wants to see the funny side to it. I keep dreaming of you and her and it makes me really angry. I can't stop imagining you touching her. Grr make it stop, please.
I've reached out to you already and now running out of patience. If I start seeing someone else for realsies and you come talk to me again I'm going to pretend you don't exist at all. I don't like games or men who chase after taken women. I did enjoy our date but I am starting to really dislike you and your seemingly socially political politeness. Be real.
I cannot fathom a day without you. Despite the fact that I am inlined to be quite pessimistic and believe that the end is inevitable, I long for the times we are together. You are the best experience of my life thus far.
Dear A, It I'll be a year next month. I was in denial the first few weeks then it was all too clear I was never going to see you again.
For 6 months we spent every waking moment together. I'd wake up next to you and for the first time in my life felt I had something worth getting up to. I'd gently place your delicate red hair behind your ear and kiss you. you'd rub your tired eyes and slightly open them staring at me with that incredible emanating green.
Things turned for the worst you convinced me you were only one of the many possibilities in this unforgiving world, I chose to believe you because it was less painful. I wonder if you still remember the good times the precious times.
Meeting new people seems to have turned the same for us, never last's more than a few weeks now. Is it out of fear or maybe pride you won't admit to yourself we both made mistakes? Or am deluding myself thinking you ever gave it a second thought.
I have come to terms with dying alone, because I had the opportunity to get to know you, that's more then I ever expected. I am at peace.
I am struggling so hard right now just trying to break down all the barriers I put up in order to feel connected with you.
I want to feel it so bad. I love you, but I cannot even fully mean it. It is like my heart just freezes in time and wont beat until the moment is over.
Sure, that may sound romantic, but it feels like my heart and emotions are being cockblocked.
Trusting you should be easy. But, it seems like the most difficult thing at the moment.
Like, all my suspicions are bubbling to the surface and you are just fine in your own little world. Dreaming away and wondering when your fantasies will come true while I am dedicated and hard working.
You insinuate that I am a workaholic and you need to know that you are wrong. I am ambitious and independent. Working a full time job and taking on a full college class load. I'm doing this for my future, for the future I might share with you.
Or if these insecurities don't go away, someone else.
It would help if you talked to me about them. It's not like I don't bring it up, babe. Seriously. And what happens? We end up having sex.
Do you enjoy screwing with me or are you just avoiding something you don't want me to know?
I fucking hate you. I regret ever dating you. You're such a manipulative and disgusting fat fuck and forced me into shit I never wanted. Thank god it was long distance and you didn't ever get to have your way with me in person. You're the reason my nudes got leaked here somewhere. I wish you never forced me into taking them. It haunts me from time to time.
Anyway, I hope you have a stroke and die from sitting on Gaia Online every day of your life and stuffing your face, you fat fuck.
I know you have your limits and I respect that, but it's just reaching a point where I can't meet your expectations. I get that you won't break the rules, but I ask you do it for practicability. If I'm leaving with you I'll need at least two weeks to get the documents ready for out trip, not to mention talking to a lot of people about this situation. it's not that simple, I need time for practical reasons and not to make it easier for me.
why do i think you'll show up here and just ask us to leave before contacting me? that's crazy, right? hahah that would be like impossible to me
I found out recently that you liked me in 8th grade. I knew I should've asked you out when everyone kept on forcing me to. I regret that year the most, Paisly. I loved you since 5th grade. I was 10 years old back then, and I'm turning 20 this year. Oh... ~Love, Addison.
J, I can feel how we've managed to grow closer even though we've had to go far away from each other. I know we both love each other now. We didn't want to say we loved each other because we hadn't been together long enough before you left and now it's so soon for you to come back. In just two short months I'm gonna be able to run into your arms at the airport and finally say I love you. (no way im gonna confess it online it has to be in person) -your dorky girlfriend
Man I'm getting tired of feeling uncomfortable in my own house that I pay for. You say you love me, and that she means nothing to you, but you still seem to spend all your time with her. While I'm trying to deal with these complicated emotions, you guys just hang out without a care in the world. For just one minute I wish you could live life in my shoes, so that way maybe you can understand the pain I'm keeping to myself while hiding away in my room cause it's way too awkward to be around you both.
You're right. You can't change for me. That's why I've moved on to other things. I wouldn't say bigger and better because to another woman, you are an amazing man. I just wish it was me. I fell hard for your personality very quickly, and you're handsome/cute to boot. Good luck in your future romantic endeavors.
>>16321449 I actually sent this text today minus the initials. Still haven't got a response.
JL I was thinking about it, and I think you were right when you said we should get to know each other better. I did try to rush things and that's my bad. You said you didn't think we were an amazing match, and that might be true. I honestly don't know you well enough to make that call right now. But for as long as we worked together, I do know that you had an awesome sense of humor and your ambition for taekwondo/anything that interests you really amazed me. I definitely felt something for you and want to find out what that was. I wanted to drop it, but here I am still awkwardly trying to strike up convos. So basically I'm still open to getting to know one another, and if you are that'd be awesome.
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