oh man here it goes i think my problems date back to two events in my childhood one) when i was stripped away from my aunt who had raised me from todler to kindergardener and sent to my parents. i think the change was too much since both my parents had their own issues and frankly werent ready to raise a kid. my dad had a temper problem coupled with drinking and smoking issue that led him to be some what abusive on me and my mum. my mother , i still cant figure out, maybe she flat out wasnt ready or didnt know how to raise a kid. so i got beat a lot in contrast to living with my aunt where there were few consequences and at the end of the day i just got to chill with my cousins and learn from them. now im just alone and an only child. I know this is a major problem for me because i grew fearful of my parents and people noticed
two) in 1st grade there was a girl, ill call her "a", kids would always make fun of her i forget the details maybe she was autistic or something but she also had bad hygiene most noticable was yellow teeth. i would feel bad for her inside but ouside i mostly just followed with the other kids. one day for her mom came with her for some kind of back to school event. everything was different all the kids were acting nice like she was one of us and she and her mother were just oblivious to what was going on. even when i almost blew it before i caught on to what was hapening. this event in its self isnt what affected me but later i was also bullied. only reason i remember is how my mother always dressed me with tucked in button up shirts (im spic). one day it went pretty shitty and i ended up crying in the lunch line (i was still just a kid but by now i had stopped wearing button-ups). eventually things got better.
No gf in a year. Ex gf found someone new. I felt really happy for her because now I never have to speak to her again. (She wanted to try the friends thing and it was killing me) I'm super content with life rn, things are going great. I'm happy with living and being on my own, but it would be nice once in a while to have some female companionship again. However, being single does come with some perks.... >I was much more content when I was a kissless loser.
>>16313432 cont. durring mid elementary things got better i had friends,a best friend and got along with people i even became a pretty chill bus patrol. but whenever i got bullied i just thought back to the memory of the day that kids mom came and just felt cursed by it. which acctuall picked up again durring middle school it was shitty cause they were arbitrary reasons to make anone look lame. and i just got quiet as it progressed and just grew into the cold bastard i am today. im not very mad though it built carachter.
Had a dark conversation with a friend about our pasts and one topic led to another and I came to a startling realisation I seem to have repressed or didnt think about. I was sexually abused and raped by my ex gf. Its important because it was 7 years ago I left her and upon realising it i made a startling connection to repeated sexual problems I have had since that persists even into my current 2 year relationship that I could never explain and always had excuses (I thought were true) for. I think part of the reason it took so long is our cultural perception women can't rape men, so the word and feeling never surfaced. Take this as an awareness post.
We were together 5 years. The first 2 were great but I felt it was time to move on with our lives and take different paths. I broke up with her. That was the beginning of the nightmare. She had serious baggage and abandonment issues that surfaced out of nowhere.
I just wish someone would love me. I don't even care if they're a guy or girl, just someone who can tell me "i love you". All i crave in this world is some form of love but i'm too scared and stubborn to look for it. I'm a gross, selfish, cowardly bastard who deserves nothing but dreams of something nice and nothing more. Honestly i just wanna die, that's what i want more than love, death. Just fucking kill me so i can put my mind to ease for god's sake.
>>16313215 I claim I could never have a relationship, and most of a time that's true. I wouldn't function in one. I would want it to work but I know it wouldn't. I know that some people might think it's a silly thing to complain about, but it's a problem in my life nonetheless.
I really rarely cry. I want to be able to cry when I'm sad because I think it'd be like a relief getting it all out of me. Last time I cried was last year when my grandpa died. Not because he died, that was pretty expected from all that drinking and smoking, but because of me not feeling sad and seeing my grandma in tears. Why didn't I get sad? I still get a sense of inhumanity when I think of my reaction to his funeral. We had a great relation and I just stood there.
I had a few friend relationships last year and before that it was more. It's like it's exponentually gone down. 3 friends in middleschool, 2 in college, 1 last year when I took a break from studying to work, and none now in university. People said I'd meet lots of new kind people, and I can't say I haven't but none has tried to make contact with me or approached me even if I tried to. I can't blame them, I wouldn't talk to me either. The issue is that I don't really want to get close with people, and I've been told that relations are much needed to prevent depression and whatnot. I've constantly been on the borderline of suicidal since last year of college. Is this because I have no friends? I worry it is, hope it isn't.
>>16313699 >I really rarely cry. I want to be able to cry when I'm sad because I think it'd be like a relief getting it all out of me. Last time I cried was last year when my grandpa died. Not because he died, that was pretty expected from all that drinking and smoking, but because of me not feeling sad and seeing my grandma in tears. Why didn't I get sad? I still get a sense of inhumanity when I think of my reaction to his funeral. We had a great relation and I just stood there. I know this way too well anon. I feel you, i truly do.
I wish my ex never went so deep into drugs and alcohol. He's done so many bad things and I know he blames me for many of them but I tried so many times to calm him down. I feel like I wasted years of my life and yet I thought of him today. His view of reality is just becoming more and more twisted.
It kind of came on slow and seemless. I wrote out a long winded story, too long and rambly but ill get to the point.
She basically was a cutter and an overdoser and i was very insecure at the time. Beta as you call it here. I feared her killing herself would be my fault even though it really wasnt and its a chip she used to drag out the relationship along with the fact we had the odd spurt of a really good week together.
But by year 4 i was so drained out dragged out and done with the relationship i even lost all sexual attraction to her.
This made her very angry. Refusing to have sex with her (which she wanted daily) turned into a show of threats screaming and one time she even grabbed a knife and just ran it right across her stomach drawing blood.
Another time she straight up left the room made a noose without me knowing called me in and hung herself and made me watch. (i rescued her fast obviously, she didnt kick the chair over. Dont ask how she didnt damage her neck.. I dont know.)
So sex became a thing i just did to not have that episode. It was out of fear instead of lust. She would always initiate and i would just go along with it.
I got out of the relationship when i was so done that i actually wanted her dead. We went to seperate universities and i made friends and gained confidence. But she was still there in the way.
Eventually i left. Stopped responding to endless threatening emails. Stopped picking up my phone and stopped seeking to help her. I wanted her to just fucking die.
One day she stopped. She left me alone forever. Shes still alive, too. Doing well for herself so i hear.
Now to continue to how im affected to this day. If anyone has advice id love it.
So as i said, i gained confidence. Became social, learned to talk to girls and managed to normalise my life quite well and be not beta. Managed to have flings gfs one night stands what have you.
Heres what i never noticed until i realised this a few days ago. In all sexual situations i must be the initiator. If i am not, i freeze. Straight up freeze like a nervous virgin. I am not nervous, im more numb and agitated. But the point is my arms drop and i stiffen up, im put off completely, or i get distracted change the subject and try to walk away. (guise.. I missed out on aome fuckin 10s cause of this).
But whats really bad is im in a relationship. A very good one at that. Thing is she goes through spurts where she initiates a lot and i never want to. After sometime she gives up feeling all unwanted and like im unnattarcted to her. Shes even accused me of having no sex drive (NOT true. If anything its too high) and shell stop trying. The day she stops trying is the day our sex life picks up again. Because now i have a chance to initiate when im ready instead of having it blown because she straddled me when i got home from work or groped my dick or what have you.
Do i tell her? Do i need help? Can i help myself? Do you think my past relationship experience even caused this?
I'm 20, virgin, male with mild autism. I can't drive because it causes over stimulation and I just black out because of it. Just got my GED and I was self taught so I have ambitions at least. Here goes the sob story.
>I was mute until age 9 >I was home schooled because I didn't have any friends in public school and well I was mute around other kids. >Teachers thought I had a dead parent because of my behavior. >Dad is a workaholic. I know he loves me but he was never there for me emotionally. >I got so bored with people I didn't leave the house in middle school. >My only friend from childhood gets cancer and moves away. >Get beaten up by kids at church, get beaten up by this peculiar girl who enjoyed hurting me. >I didn't know how to handle hamsters and I almost killed my sister's. I still hate myself because of this. >Brother becomes drug addict and abandons me. >Dad slowly becomes spineless and lives his youth through my brother. >Meet emo kids in high school >Cute one has all these affairs and tells me it's rape. >I freak out and beat up her friends because she told me it was rape. >She cheated on her boyfriend with 5 guys... I made a fool of myself. >Go out with attractive writer from college. >She says I can't hold a conversation, she was a total SJW who later became a lesbian. >Her taste in books were rather pleb in all honesty. >Art teacher says my art isn't realistic at all and that I'm emotionally disturbed. >Boss from work mocks me in front of workers/shoppers. >Drama teacher tells me about her sex toy collection for no reason and that she will masturbate after class. I later tell her I had jerk off fantasies about her. She was horrified that I said this. >I fear STDs and childbirth >I jerked off via omegle once.
Never had these thoughts before, but I get this itching desire to hurt myself. Not too drastically, like cutting or burning, but through denial of food. I don't feel as if I deserve to sustain myself. I want to fade out.
At a large music festival recently that I went to with my friends, I saw a girl I went to high school with. I had a crush on her then and she was interested in me. I never went through with it back then. Fast forward to today and I know we're both going for the same major and we're both single at different schools though. But considering that, I didn't say a word to her and walked away with my friends. Why did I do that? How many more times will I say next time? Why can't I give myself nice things?
Im still pissed with you. You said no hard feelings then you go and talk shit about me, IN MY FACE. 5 years meant shit to you apparently, but you could't recognize someone who gave 2 shits about you even if they hit you in the face. Thanks for nothing.
>>16313781 >Drama teacher tells me about her sex toy collection for no reason and that she will masturbate after class. I later tell her I had jerk off fantasies about her. She was horrified that I said this.
My friends little sister is ridiculously hot and every time I hang with his family it reminds me how stupid age of consent laws are
Im 21 and english, she's 15. She's a twin and her brother you would probably guess to be about 12, meanwhile she has nice tits and a nice ass and hips and a skinny waist
Europe has it right with the age being around 13, 16 is just dumb.
Whatever hormones are getting pumped in the food really do their shit, girls seem to hit puberty and start getting hot so much younger
>Tfw patiently biding my time maintaining a good friendship with my buddies family as he's one of my best friends, and MAYBE, EVENTUALLY, at a family gathering when she's older I might be able to get with her
Its the long game. But god damn she is fine. My buddies family has some god tier girl genetics
Ever since I was little, I've had the ability to see ghosts, spirits and dark energy. My mom is an atheist and my dad just believes it's my imagination. To this day I still see ghosts, in my house for some reason it's always in the hallway or in my room. I've seen ghosts at work, at friends houses, and Catalina Island. I'll list a few examples of my ability. *all my family members who have died in recent years have contacted me through my dreams. The dream is always extremely colorful, by the end of the dream they tell me I have to go. We wave to each other good bye, like we are going to see each other the next day. *ive had ghosts walk over my body while sleeping. As they walked past my shoulder, the window blinds shook. *ive heard people talking in my living room late at night. As I walk into the empty living room, the voices continued until I stood right in the center. The voices stopped. *ive seen ghosts standing in front of abandoned houses with glowing eyes. My gf who was there with me claims she didn't see anybody.
>>16314096 he acts weird about sex. i dont know if he only wants me for it or he isnt attracted to me at all. but he doesnt text much. stopped complimenting me. started lying about stuff. if i with him , he might make an effort. but hes stopped dojng anything with his life. all he does is play video games, wait a week, start missing me, i stay at his house with him for awhile, we fight, we makeup, i leave, rinse repeat
depressed af, think about suicide daily, don't want to confide in anyone because it'll sound like some fuckin emo song from the early 2000s, pushing away everyone around me, drinking too much, don't want to ask for help or treatment because it's expensive and selfish
i just want someone to talk to about it who i wont hold any obligations to
>on the train >sit opposite of a qt >make eye contact with her >she smiles >after that she tries her god damn best to avoid eye contact >we make eye contact one more time >she smiles once again >when she's getting out of the train i say "bye" >she looks back, smiles and says "bye"
What the fuck happened? Am I attractive or creepy?
>>16314756 I'm sure it can, but its really fucking hard to see that ever happening. all i can think about, is if something were to happen to x (the literal only reason i haven't killed myself yet) i would off myself without hesitation. i have thought this way for many years and before x there was y. one person i latch onto and pour whatever energy i have into loving and uplifting them. i'm constantly hit with insane final destination type scenarios in my head where i lose x for some ridiculous and unforeseeable reaason and then what's the fucking point of staying alive. there isnt one. i dont care about anyone else and i doubt anyone else cares about me outside of the normal "i should pretend to give a shit because otherwise i'll look bad but really you're an annoying mopey cunt who brings nothing to the table"
>>16314749 people smile to make things less awkward. it can also be a fear response. smiling isn't necessarily encouragement. next time try starting a conversation. you'll find out pretty quick why they were smiling, even if htey don't outright tell you.
>>16314806 i'm constantly trying new hobbies. my whole life i've been trying new things in an attempt to stave off the boredom for half a second. it doesnt stick, it's meaningless handwork and ultimately doesnt matter. i go through the motions. same with work. very, very little brings me any kind of feeling. booze and weed are the only things that reliably make me feel somethign for a short time.
I want to get out of my current relationship. But I'm too afraid to.
She needs constant validation that "I love her". She goes through my personal items without asking. She claims that she wants to marry me because she doesn't want to lose me. And on top of that, she threatens to destroy my property if I do leave her.
I technically lived with her for about 7 months and we had a mutual relationship until a few months ago. I I cannot see sharing my life with her anymore.
FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE LAURA. I honestly hate the fucking sight of you. You are over here all the time cheating on your boyfriend with my roommate. You act like you own the place and keep making bitchy remarks and laughing it off. Calling our roommate who has a fucking eating disorder fat is not a joke, You are you a fucking cunt. No one likes you and you are abusing your boyfriend emotionally. He's clearly not okay with your cheating. You are an evil bitch and I wish i could cut you out and never see you again. You fucking tumor, foaming cunt faced whore.
I am literally running out of bad adjectives to call you i hate you that much.
I've failed to do anything with my life. I plan to improve myself all the time, yet never carry through. I want to workout, but I half-ass it. I have no discipline. I'm a pushover. I apologise excessively. I bully others to make myself feel better. I've tried and failed to control my ego. I've let what talent I had go to waste. I'm getting shit grades in school and doing nothing about it. I try to pursue many things, and fail at them. I make excuses for everything. I'm undeniably, irrefutably beta. I set goals which then lay stagnant until they are forgotten. I get angry too easily- a result of my insecurities. I try so hard to impress people. I'm addicted to social media. I compulsively lie in a vain attempt to trick others into believing that I'm not as pathetic as I am. I get jealous hopelessly easily. I blame others for all my failures. Failures are never my fault, instead it's because of my parents, or my upbringing, or the colour of my skin, or God, or some other external factor. I drool over women I will never get. I seek approval from everyone. The second I see a remotely attractive female I try my hardest to impress them by acting. Every single day I tell myself I'll improve, improve, improve, and yet it always ends with 'tomorrow'.
TODAY, that will change. The only reason that will happen is because I will make it happen.
What is the meaning of existence? The only thing I see when I look at the sides are people dealing with all kinds of suffering, chasing so superficial and silly goals. Everyone has a silly hope that everything will end well, that all gonna be fine, but in reality the world is unfair and will only bring you small gains, and soon or later you will be unnhappy again. The universe and time are a circle of suffering, pain and anguish that will infinitely happen again and again. Sorry for my english.
I'm 22 and visiting a shrink. Don't see purpose in life. TBH I shouldn't complain that much, because I have a grandmother who loves me and I have two flats to my name, one of them is in the old town of the city. However, I am not a person of sciences, so I cannot into programming/maths/economics. After that, I am not really in a good education. I am studying to be a teacher of English. What's more, I live in the world suicide capital (Lithuania), so I guess there is some aura of depression here, despite us living a tad better than a big part of the world. I don't know how to explain it, but I am getting depressed very easily as years go by, by people's incompetence, by people drinking in the street, by homeless people in the public transport, by people being assholes and parking anywhere they want, by general unfairness of the world. Not getting sad for a minute, full out depressed, to a point where I cannot even make myself feel pleasure with vidya or movies. Alcohol or interection with friends helps mildly, finlepsin helps a little better. I don't know what I want to do in life and despite other people looking up to me, I am very unconfident about myself, especially as soon as I get home, depression kicks in.
Just posting how happy I feel. There's hope for all of you.
>girl in my English 122 class >She's asian and comes in with a Wonder Years shirt >tell her I love that band >We hit it off >few days later >hang out at mall for 3 hours >class 2 days later >talking after class >ask her out >she says yes
I have a gf now. It's great. There's hope, anons. Stay strong.
>>16315377 >so I cannot into programming/maths/economics Anyone could get into that if you're able to focus and have a clear goal. Implying you're a fast learner, how long would it take to realistically get a good job if you can't remember the most primordial math formulas from highschool? Can you work in the meantime as you study? I feel like there are many opportunities but you have to be able to analyze your situation and see what's better for yourself.
I feel like I'm gonna end up being the creepy virgin. I'm turning 21, I've had one relationship that led to nothing in the end. The thing is, I have supportive friends, I do really well in college and have a pretty good job. It's just that one dangling thing that is bothering me. I get told by girls that I have this attractive rugged look so I know I'm not ugly. I don't know what I'm doing wrong.
the truth is i'm having strong doubts about the job again and i don't think i'll be able to change until i talk to my boss. I guess that's my limit heheh, now everything is just boring and every time i stop to think about what's best for me i come to the conclusion that this may not the right thing.
i know it's a good opportunity (probably) but i'm gonna say it again, this situation is pathetic
woman I've been interested in for a couple years but had a boyfriend (who knows i like her but has rejected me) who she just broke up with is hanging out with a new guy and i would like to just ignore it and move on with my life but the idea that she will get with another guy after all that time i've desired to be with her is clouding all the thoughts, i can barely even read a book without it constantly being in the forefront of my counscious. i figure the only choice i have is to ask her out, but even then i don't know if i can watch her be with this guy, i completely get that i'm just being a pussy and i know this also sounds like a situation a highschooler would have but this situation really just seems hopeless for me. ah well
>Met a cute girl a couple of days ago through a mutual friend. >We talked for a while because our bus was late >She seems pretty cool, a bit nerdy, shy but also funny. >Im already fantasizing about being in a relashionship with her
I make twice as much as my mom and she's pissed because I have no formal education whereas she has a bachelor's degree. I don't want to say it's because she does things without thinking through the consequences, but she does. She's a lifelong weed smoker, basically, she has large gaps of unemployment, a single (albeit bogus) drug charge, and just red flags.
If I were an employer, I'd think twice about hiring someone like her, bachelor's degree or not. Which makes me feel like I'm a cold, ruthless bitch...but when you're trying to make money you can't take too many chances. Maybe she's been working her ass off her whole life, but she has been all talk, she just bitches about how broke she is and tries to guilt me into buying food.
I'd be fine with it if I hadn't just paid my rent. I keep trying to explain to her that I don't actually make THAT much, my expenses are a bit high right now, but I still pick up the tab when we go out when I'd rather split it. I'm not the one who should be dealing with this, dammit. I'm sick of everyone just whining and not doing anything about it. That's why I stopped liking the one guy I dogged on for so long.
I fucking did something about my shitty situation and I'm tired of people coming to me for sympathy. I'm only 25, I still have a few years left to be completely self absorbed, don't I?
But seriously, don't come to me with your problems if all you want is sympathy. I'm an advisor, not a normal fucking woman. I will not sympathize.
Can I go back to the version of this thread from several years ago and punch myself in the face for ever whining about working in food service?
Fucking made $9-10 an hour with tips, plus gov't assistance and now I'm being run into the ground working in an animal testing lab 60+ mandatory hours, 7 days a week for $11 and I don't qualify for shit. Get headaches from wearing a respirator all day. Hurt my damn shoulder in a way that it's not going to get better without surgery. Too exhausted all the time to have fun. Got lazy and stopped cooking; don't even think I remember how. Apartment is a mess and I have no motivation to clean.
All my overtime pay is going to school where I'm maintaining a 4.0 because I don't want to be poor anymore, but I can't shake the feeling that putting myself through this is going to get me fuck all and I'll just be right back where I started, but 28 instead of 21.
Also foreveralone because I'm too moody and busy and I don't drink or smoke or have money to go out.
>27 >psych degree >telecommute at a start up inputting data and learning about web framework and different languages >not in debt, but not making money >live at home with single mother >want to go to grad school in cs and do data science as a career, but have no money. Waiting response on gov job. >only few friends in real life. No online friends. Single. >struggle with depression from time to time. Trying not to crack.
>25 >make friends with a group who are 19-21 age group in a class >have a lot of similar interests with all of them but especially 19 year old girl >want to ask her out, but don't want it to ruin the friendship of the group >because I'm older, it feels like it'd be awkward
I should just give up on trying to date her right?
I want to create something, but I don't have the skill to make anything good and I can't bring myself to try right now. I don't want to do anything right now for some reason. I'm just sitting here watching my life fall apart. I'm showing all the signs of depression, to the point where even the most oblivious of people are suggesting I do something about it. I can't bring myself to seek therapy though. I don't think it's worth going to the trouble of seeking therapy. And I'm terrible at talking about my problems with others. I always downplay them or act like they're no big deal. It's instinct at this point. I just miss my friend. I miss my sister. I miss my brother. I miss having a place where I felt like I belonged. Nothing a therapist can do to help with that.
No initials, but I know You will read it anyway, since You frequent this place.
I had a dream about You today. I was coming home, and as I opened the door, instead of the usual hallway there was my bedroom. It was unusually bright. You were standing in the middle. You were 8 years old. Your shoulder-length black hair covered your face and You were looking at the floor. There was blood dripping from both your hands starting from the elbow level. Then I broke my left arm in 2 places, by sheer effort of will. This image made me wake up.
My boyfriend has been 'unsure' about the relationship for many months including his constant threads about this or that as well as his various crushes outside the relationship. I have known for a while and have a new boyfriend for a month now who is completely aware of the situation. We think it's funny he thinks I am still his girlfriend and he hasn't noticed I haven't been wanting sex. Yes we are bad people.
20 Never had a girlfriend , sex kiss less virgin nothing even particularly wrong with me I just played games instead of socializing with people outside of school. Always chose playing games over going out with friends etc... I now basically just work come home play games.
Feel like I will forever be stuck in this rut even if I try to change it.
>>16318402 I feel you bro. The thing is that nobody cares and we should start admiring ourselves. I help a good friend of mine, started to like her more than I should and want the appreciation of her, don't get it even if she starts talking to me and wants advice and so on. I don't know, the problem is I just don't feel goof about myself.
I'm always the one to initiate a conversation. Haven't messaged her for a couple of days and she hasn't messaged me.
She agreed to a second date, but is her lack of messaging a sign of a lack of interest? Should I keep waiting to see if she brings anything up about it or should I remind her and see if she's still up for it?
After doing mdma with you a few times over the summer, out in the wild like that; I've come to associate being around you with pleasure. I love you. The fact that I can't act upon it is making me go insane, along with being unable to know how you feel about me.
I'm going to text you tonight. It's riduclous- never have I chased down somebody like this. I'm thirsty, and hounding you so often. You've yet to text me purely on your own freewill yet. When I find out you've gone out to a party without thinking of me, it's humiliating.
These wonderful moments are playing through my mind, every instance when you've looked or spoken to me, I can tell intuitively that you want me.
Seriously fuck you. Fuuuck you I fucking loathe you.
I'm seeing my gf again tomorrow. It's only been a short while and we've texted a lot in the meantime, but I'm still all giddy about it. She's been a bit down the past few days, so I hope it'll cheer her up some as well.
I don't know if you still browse these threads, but I need to say this, regardless.
I suppose it is time to face reality. If you were going to change your mind, it would have happened by now. Considering our relationship ended in February, and the anniversary of my near fatal accident is just weeks away, it seems to be obvious that last spark of hope I have been tending needs to be extinguished. I need to accept that it is truly over.
Neither of us bought into the soul mate nonsense, not until we met. I know, in my core, that nothing either of us find will compare, and that is why I held some small measure of hope. We were only supposed to have a few days, but instead we shared half a decade. Not nearly long enough, and I wish you could have known the man I am now, but at least we have the memories.
It is time I left this thread, and with it, what little hope I had left kindled.
I've got a date tomorrow and I don't know what to expect and because she's kinda chubby we can't really walk anywhere that's too far away... and the fact that she thinks she's a 9/10 when she's a solid 4 or 5/10 is pretty annoying too since she expects too much.
I don't know what to do anymore. My girlfriend is pregnant and this'll be her third kid and my first. I work a dead end job for a bit more than minimum wage. I've been in and out of the hospital for constipation and hemroids for the past 3 weeks. I have court at the end of the month and need $300 that I won't have. My bank account is in the negative $200. My ass hurts
>>16313215 I want money. It's simple thing. But I fucking want money for my pleasure or cuz' I have complex. A rather wanted do a big fucking ass dinner for my mother and grandma, everyday, and wanted do something for kids of my sister. The help my friend lure some whores for him. And I can't say anything like that on loud, cuz it's weird for rest of people.
>>16313773 Tell her. If she's wise, she will understand. If not, she's not worth it. But hiding it is the worst. My bf also has some sexual issues and it's a long way to work it out. But it works somehow.
Whenever a girl seems interested in me I suddenly see them unfit for relationships, and when that doesn't happen and I actually am interested, they will just lose interest too... (I'm not a nerd, I have this lumberjack body shape and just a little socially awkward, don't have very high standards but no gf, no kiss no anything)
Sons of Anarchy started off really well but now it just consists of really bland characters and really dull story-lines that shouldn't be relevant, oh, and five-minute montages to shitty country songs.
I've got a date with a chubby/fat girl tomorrow and I planned things so that I would be able to walk there and have time to spare but I forgot that she'll walk slower than me since my legs are muscular as fuck and I walk about 10 miles a day.
But seriously, Sons of Anarchy should have done more with the Nords and then maybe they wouldn't have this shitty predicament of not really having a direction - it's like drinking the shitty beer at the bottom of the bottle.
I've become intimidated and tired of my own lifestyle. I was 16/17, I knew and hung out with my favorite musicians and was given pills at every show I went to. Its all slowly disappearing, its not that fun anymore. I never want to go to these events anymore but I still show up to them. And if any of you want to date a dj or a rapper, they are not as loyal as you think they are. They're trying to fuck/hit on underage girls when you aren't looking, it doesn't matter how many events you show up to with them. They will wait for you to not be there. Literally all of them.
What the fuck do I do with the stuff that my ex gave me? They gave me this collectible figure of a series that I like last Christmas, but I can't stand to look at it anymore. I want to get rid of it but then I feel bad about throwing it away. I was thinking of just sending them money for the things they gave me so I don't feel guilty about tossing anything. But then it sounds like a dick move... that I didn't "appreciate" it if I'm basically refunding them the money. I'm grateful for the gifts but the sentimentality attached to these things just kills me.
I was basically playing around with him when I suddenly just forcefully grabbed him and started to rub/cuddle his neck While doing so I was squeezing on me teeth and thinking very horrible ways of killing She was obviously not enjoying it as she was biting me, and that's when I let her go and ran back to my room I'm a sick person I'm a very disgusting and sick person to be able to that without even being conscious about I almost took a life that isn't mine That could have been a human being, what the fuck is wrong with me? Why is this happening to me?
Just going to list things, Im reading y'alls dough: Insecure about height (5'9'' say Im 5'10'' male) even though I realize it usually isnt much of an issue. But I just know most girls that I like would prefer someone (even someone I know) over me every time I'm 21 and taking accutane for acne. It's the first month and my face looks fucked up... Praying it gets better before christmas and maybe thanksgiving. I have a couple "friends" in college but I can't stand some people. I ain't no misanthrope but people are somehow shallower than me. No intellectual curiosity even in most of my higher level classes. I don't care if people are smart or interesting or good looking when I'm making friends, just that they care about something, or that they seem to want to learn. I'm happier than ever about my future career choice but there is a very low possibility I'll achieve anything (not to mention anything of note). I'm trying to get into writing/comedy and the odds of getting a decent life in that is like getting into Harvard. I need to work harder. Not faster or smarter or shit, just harder. I care about doing one thing and everyday I avoid it until I force myself to work at it. When I succeed it's the most rewarding experience, but I just push it to the side to focus on garbage. Stay safe, guys
>>16321150 Hey man I'm on Accutane too, four weeks in. Get Aquaphor for the cracked lips, it's been a godsend. It's still shitty as fuck but if you put on a thick coat just before you go to bed, you wake up with manageable lips when you wake up in the morning. The lips are the worst for me, what other effects are you getting?
I feel so stressed out that I think I'm slipping into a depressive episode. I need this subject to be over, and to stop feeling like a failure. I wish I had more friends at college so I could at least talk to them and have some support. And then I got into a fight with my one good friend at the worst time possible. Just wanted to get it out of my chest.
>>16313781 >Finally get around to deleting my Facebook. I have hopes I could finally move on. Stop feeling tired and bruised about people who didn't care about me. >Run into old SJW ex. >I politely say "Hey you, hope all is well." >She gives me this look of terror. She says nothing and walks away. >She bashed me once via twitter during a date. >Seeing her face again just left me feeling angry. >Her favorite author of all time is Chuck Palanuck... She is an English major. Her favorite band is Ludo. We didn't mix well at all. >Listen to some Depeche Mode. Feeling better. >Get all 7.5/10+ on rate thread. Feels good. >Realize she was nothing like muh waifu Yukari from Persona 3. >Realize I'm not awful...I-I-can love myself?!
I'm starting to fall into depression again. I can feel the loneliness creeping in. That really shitty sort of loneliness where you feel empty and you feel like you're completely alone. I have friends and family, but nobody I would trust enough to get too close to. I lost the person I trusted the most.
I guess I'll get through it. I always do... but I'm so tired of suffering.
Maybe I really am extremely sexual but really repressed, like he said. Occasionally certain songs or stories or images do move me.... in a way. Though it's not exactly that it makes me horny so much as that it makes me feel nostalgic for a sex life I never really had to begin with? Plus almost all of them are in some way related to pretty unhealthy scenarios. I wonder if wanting him to fix it would be asking too much No, it definitely would be. At first he'd probably be happy and welcome the challenge but that's not how it'd end up.
It's understandable for kid brothers to not get along but as a teenager and now adult I've been selfish. We have talks and discussions but I'm never open to you. I'm such a fucking dick. Truth be told if you died tomorrow I wouldn't ever be able to make it. Not without my big brother. I often reflect on how terrible I act towards you and how much I'm trying to change it, but I know to you it won't ever be enough. You say it's fine but it's not fine. Honestly anybody could be a better brother to you than me. I'm a piece of shit.
>>16318820 I can't force myself to admire me. It's stupid. You see, i'm an artist.. And i need my teachers to admire me,so that i can have the motivation to paint/draw more, outdo myself..Without it i feel like shit.
>>16321191 My skin has gotten worse than it was acne wise, plus the dry lips and now only somewhat dry skin. Just under 4 weeks in. Doc said Im part of the 8% whose skin gets worse at first, but I doubt that's really true. It sucks but I hope you do alright with it
I just want a cute introvert girl to cuddle with and watch anime together. That's not so much to ask for right? Just someone who i can hide away from the world with. Someone who understands me and i understand them.
>>16322661 Spend time improving yourself and your outward appearance. If you seem desperate, sad or down on yourself, that cute introvert won't waste her time on you. Remember, relationship is two way, she wants something too. Show her you are good at life, show ambition, be a confidant guy. Btw if you focus on bettering yourself this comes naturally. Introvert girls like guys that have a talent in what they enjoy. Find that nerdy passion and be about it. I met my nerdy introvert wife when we were writing tutors in college. Find an atmosphere like that, and own it. She was super shy so it was easy for me to pretend like I'm mr. Confident. Fake it till you make it
I just got my job's yelp page a one star review for something that I did that felt unavoidable. I can't take how my employers can flip on a dime. I know it's a job, and that's just life, but I just want them to shut up about it.
I get it, I screwed up, I'll try harder next time. Quit sighing and whining about it from the other side of the room.
I'm on day 2 of detoxing, and this is making it hard to not take a liquor store trip on my way home.
im tired of being in love with mi ex, its been like two years and i still cant get over her.. i cant found another girl to be in love with because i dont go out in weekends, also she comes to my local once a week to buy things for her business.
I should've fucked you when I had the chance. No matter if my member is small or that I'm a quickshot,just having sex with a certain other is what I always wanted to do. But the more I think about it,the more I realize that this is just to spite you and to get you pregnant and leaving that child to your new bf.
But then again,I'm not that much of a fucknut to just impregnate girls here and there and leaving them on their own. Having sex and taking responsibility arouses me more than just a quick one night stand,to be honest.
I fucking hate being a girl. Every other girl just fakes a smile and pretends she loves everyone and everyone loves her, but i don't. They bully a girl if they don't like her, instead of just ignore her. They hurt feelings like its no big deal. I hate how close minded are 99% of girls. Such hypocrites. Boys are much cooler and simple.
Just met a stranger to fulfill my breastfeeding fetish. She was very obese and short. I enjoyed myself but the aftertaste was bad, she has kids, and I don't know if I can do it again. I'm thinking of just ignoring her emails but I know no other girl is gonna want a baldo like me. Am I being too picky?
Tomorrow is going to be a special day for me. Either its going to be an exceptionally exciting day or an exceptionally disappointing day. It can only go one way or the other. If it goes well, then I did enough to make what I needed to happen happen. If it does not go well, then I can only blame myself. Tomorrow's result will not depend on my beliefs right now. The result depends on my actions in recent past. I can't change my past actions. The result of those past actions will affect me tomorrow.
I hope that the result is the one I want. But whether I hope or not, is just a belief I have now. It cannot change the past. I can story this situation, so that if I face a similar situation in the future, then I might see a similar pattern, and I can adjust me behavior towards outcomes that I would prefer.
>>16323657 Life's always been this way. People have always paid attention and cared about bullshit like that. Don't let it disturb you even for one second, especially if it's innocuous shite like that pic. It doesn't hurt you, and while you think it may hurt people by caring about it, but don't worry or tell people you know rl off about it. Write a book or something, do something that makes your soul smile
I sit here waiting for you. The men you always have been dating other then me. The time you were with your abusive ass boyfriend to which you later broke up because of the abuse. You said you loved me as a friend but I didn't want to hear that. I wanted more then just a friendship. I wanted to know you for who you are. I was going to ask you to prom as well, but I was at a friends house drinking and smoking pot with my best friend to forget the hate. At least he accepted me as who I am. He maybe a freak to you, but I love him enough to know he would never leave my side. Telling me "You were never around." made it seem like it was my fault. We lived too far away from each other and I couldn't drive at the time. Saying that made me want to slap you. I was hurt. I still think about you everyday. I wanted that one dance to be with you. To feel like a prince for once in my life. Sure it maybe some sick stupid fantasy, but it's what I really wanted. You were the only one that was there for me. Now you are gone. One night I went joy riding with my parents car but it was not out of joy. It was because I had a hand gun in my passanger seat ready to blow my brains out right in front of you. Going 120mph on the road out of pure anger. When I got to your house. I pulled in the driveway at 3am. I just stopped. I stopped. Pulled the car out and drove away. That night I realized I have to do something with my life. Thanks for being a bitch to me to straighten me out. I hope your 2 year relationship crashes and burns like my heart everytime I think about you. I do not wish for you to die. I wish for you to live every moment in agony just by breathing. My love for you is gone and I hate hearing your name or even the thought. You are the best and the worst.
I wish I could get away with killing myself. I've wanted to ever since I was 10, but something's always stopped me. I hate my birthday, and I hate myself, and I wish that I didn't have to deal with either of them. But, the thing is, my girlfriend's been "suicidal" lately, and I feel like if I offed myself she'd finally have the nerve to do more than her normal cry-for-help-I-took-a-bunch-of-acetaminophen thing that she does. Today I turned 22, and - for me - nothing has ever felt quite this meaningless.
Big hazel eyes. Lovely lashes. Slim build. Gorgeous grin. Soft hair. You are will not die a virgin, not on my watch. And I love how, despite the fact that as we grow older, most people tend to keep tight lipped about their happiness, and seem to only express their sorrow at their situations. You are different though, you do not care. You have depression yet there is not a day you do not make me giggle with how silly you are. I do not believe I have ever fallen for someone so fast in such a short amount of time. Be my village idiot.
>My ex and I are still in love with each other >Have no interest in getting back together until he progresses as a person
>I have shit relationships with my family. >My mom was a addict and kick me out when I was 18 >Was homeless for a good chunk of time >Dad didn't give a shit about me until I started making money >Now uses me for his own benefit >Only reason I live with him is to see my brother graduate high school >My two older brothers suck ass >Only use me for discounts and free things I get from work
>Have no idea what I'm doing with my life >Can't go back to school because I can't afford it
>Want to go into plus sized modeling >Too scared it's not going to work out
I want to know with how I should go about being dumb. I'm extremely slow with all of my studies, and although I do well, I'm really thinking I shouldn't even bother. All I have time to do is study while others are going out and having a great time... most of the other people in my major seem to be able to put in a lot less time than me and do at level with me or better. I hear them talking about partying in class and the like and they all seem to be involved on five clubs, so this is how I know. I'm majoring in accounting and I'm afraid I'm just going to tank on the real world without the controlled, consequence free textbook world.
>roommates room has bed bugs >told best friend in confidence >she told all my acquaintances (who I hope to turn into friends). >bed bugs are exterminated and only in roomies room, but apparently a recurring problem. >btw they didn't tell me about the bedbugs when I moved in.
I would tell anyone sleeping over, but my friend seems to think I need to tell anyone who comes over. Is that the right thing to do? They seem to have only been in my roommates room.
i fucked up my college relationship after I graduated and she didn't by being shit at communicating. she felt lonely until we broke up. i'm sadder than i've ever been, and I feel like both an idiot for being so oblivious to her needs and like an asshole for neglecting her in the way i did
i felt like everything was ok and then it kinda crept up on me and all of a sudden it was out of my control
it's going to take me forever to get over her. i loved her so much but i somehow convinced her otherwise. i just want us both to be happy, but i'd like to be with her still. i just keep hoping she'll message me out of the blue and agree to start the LDR phase over, but i know it'll never happen because she left justifiably frustrated
We've been friends for a long time now. We met on the 2nd semester on our 1st year of college. I had a girlfriend back then, but we broke up over the summer. Now it's our 1st semester on our second year. We've been hanging out until i started to feel something towards her. I was starting to like her, but she already told me long ago that she does not like relationships. I still started to treat her differently, i became clingy and always wanted to be with her, even though we have completely different schedules and in different blocks. Cont.
i corrupted her, i introduced her to this darker yet lighter world and now shes addicted, she needs me for it, she keeps me around for it, i cant stomach seeing her like this, so i smoke a lot more to try not to care, and fuck
i love her
i love her like an idiot would
i try to convince myself that its foolish, and she only keeps me around because she needs connections, but i cant help loving her
dammit why the fuck did i hook her up in the first place
she was so beautiful and sad
i couldnt make her happy so i gave her something that could
I fucking blew it with a really cool girl now I hate myself for it. She was so into me before we went on an actual date. Why can't I just chill and not be awkward when I need to. I'm a likable person with people I'm comfortable with I just need to get comfortable with you first. Fuck man.
My friend is having an art show this week and I invited my other friend to it. it didn't occur to me that he'd want to hang out afterwards and he still likes me but i dont like him like that. I really like the guy whos having the art show and i'll probably hang with him after. I dont want to be a shitty friend but i feel like an idiot now for not thinking of this before i invited him. hes gonna want to hang out and im gonna feel bad for just basically choosing someone else over him. im probably overthinking this lol
I feel the pressure of being one of the few "able bodied" family members now (and really the only one of "my generation", the rest being a decade from being able to do anything for the family) and the guilt of my past sins is crushing me. A while back some members of my family got diagnosed with disabilities and instead of being supportive I acted like a shitty teenager and potentially made things worse for them. I don't feel like I can ever make it up to them.
I also have cheated (mildly) on the last two girlfriends I have had (broke up with them soon after) and every time I think about it I want to blow my brains out because I feel like I could never marry. I'm in a relationship now and my partner is supportive and I have taken many precautions against any further incidents (removed the MMO I used last time and it wasn't like I went looking for the cheating either time) but the one thing I have always wanted was a family to be proud of and bring pride to my family but now I feel broken inside.
Coupled with the stress from school and extracurricular activities I haven't been acting myself and I have had a couple thoughts about doing things that just aren't me and they terrify me (stuff I'd never do but my brain suggested I do).
My kids love me for being around, and I play with them and love them intensely. I know them better than anyone else, and know where they are developmentally and have taken it upon myself to make sure they are well ahead of what's required for school.
That said, I'm still fucked up on the inside from my childhood, and some of the remnants show themselves in self neglect.
The worst of all is sleep deprivation where I go to bed a few hours from when it's time to wake up and I end up napping when they nap and being a zombie most of the day, only to go into overdrive from dinner until their bedtime so I look normal for my spouse.
I started a dialogue with myself about why, and I can't come up with a good answer.
I'm an intelligent guy, and I am very talented in my educated industry but no work experience, because I chose to stay at home with the kids (after we read and talked about it forever, it seemed best for one of us to).
Not that my spouse really wants to, couldn't handle the monotony and absolute requirement of constant bonding and caretaking, but I could be working and we could be financially much better off because of the pay in my field.
I am 3 credit hours from graduating, and I can just take a standard test for that, but I don't and can't figure out why. Kind of like how it took me years after high school to get my ged or start college.
During the last few weeks I've noticed that you seem to state your views on some serious topics, yet when said topics are brought up in connection to you, your actions become the opposite of what your previously stated views would have been.
>>16325448 You should talk to a therapist or potentially a doctor to try and get some sleep aids. Once you get your sleep cycles fixed your brain will feel less cloudy. Once your brain sees things more clearly then you will be able to act with better judgement (Should I complete my degree? Should I start working? Should my spouse perhaps switch with me and stay at home for a bit so I can earn money to help the family?)
Some sleep can do wonders and I think you will be able to focus more and ponder these questions. Childhood can mess people up but if you know that then you're already part of the way there to fixing it. You can do it, you just have to start with a good night's sleep!
When I do everything for you and then wake up to sarcasm and hatefulness I feel empty and useless. Sometimes when I'm outside and its dark, if I wasn't walking your dog. I would have just walked into traffic. Hope you loved me because I sure as hell don't love myself. Thanks for that.
I use 4chan to find porn webms of the worst filthy amateur fat girls, and save it on my phone easily accessible to my wife, so that when she goes through my phone and sees it we have an awkward fight where I explain that it was for research purposes and I'm not attracted to far chicks. Then I blame her for not fucking me anymore, and try extra hard to make her feel bad as a way to get back at me for holding out sex. She has a medical condition that causes her vagina to tear no matter how lubricated she is- naturally or otherwise- and when we have sex it hurts her, though she has stated and physically proven that I can make her orgasm even through the pain sometimes. In my own selfishness I try to force her to fuck me even though she's terrified of the pain because I know there's a 10% chance in hell that THIS will be one of those times she cums like a mad woman- and then crus herself to sleep nursing her newly torn vagina. No my dick is not Herculean, her labia is extremely sensitive and looks like it has small paper cuts after we fuck, somehow I'm ok with hurting her as long as I can cum, and pretend she liked it too. This cycle repeats every few weeks when I get tired of jacking it to normal porn, and I devolve into a downward spiral of weird fetish porn that normally wouldn't even get me off. It's like my way of reaching out to her and saying, hey I'm fucked up emotionally and using this octopus insertion as a way of telling you- I guess. Idk. Rambles for 4chan.
I started going to aa meetings and shit the other day to try and quit drinking again. So far so good. The problem is that I made a prior commitment to go to this concert tonight with a couple drinking buddies and a boy I like (no homo). I kind of want to go I know I'm either going to relapse again, or be in a shitty mood because I'm not drinking but really want to. I guess the even deeper root of the problem is how do I re-assimilate into the normal world while remaining free from drugs and alcohol, which I actually want to do this time.
I tried cutting myself today... just to see if I could do it. Turns out I couldn't, and I made a mere scrape. But the thought of wanting to try it out - that's what bothers me. I don't quite feel comfortable as myself. Something is off. I disgust myself. I want to hide. I feel as if all I've lived by has suddenly disappeared and left me hanging in mid air. Something changes in me, and I am scared.
I'm going to go now. It's been a real pleasure getting to know you and I hope that one day you find someone that makes you forget all of your fears and doubts, and makes you feel special. Remeber, you're beautiful and more guys than you think want you.
If you ever wanted to give us a try, I really think we'd work, so get in touch with me. I am going to delete your number now though so I don't try and reach out when I think of you, because I'm sorry, but we can't be just friends.
All the best with your new job and everything else in the future.
She's probably going to get fired today. It all depends on how I write up the email that I send today. We've been over this too many times, enough is enough. She's strutting around acting cocky, I don't think she knows the gravity of the situation. How much shit am I supposed to take?
Message me, no snapchat or other shit, just real honest to god long message spiked with stupid-ass details about your daily life. Tell me how are you really doing. Send me a link to a funny, controversial or stupid article. Do whatever really, just get in touch, cause I'm sick, bored, and missing you horribly
>>16326733 Thank you anon. Your right, I have no place going out to that show tonight and would likely just end up drinking tonight, as if I didn't already know that but its still comforting hearing it from someone else. I guess I'll tell them the truth.
I don't know whether or not I want to leave my GF of 3 months. I have some feeling for another girl and can do "better" to sounds like a shallow asshole, but I really have developed feelings for her at the same time. I feel bored, not crazy attracted to her and like I'm stagnating, but we do go well at times and she's just so damn sweet to me.
Your kiss is on my list Of the few best things in life
A thorny fact I can't resist Dead souls your kiss revivifies
I go quite mad wondering What all there is to see And how the night's curt parting Pearls apoplexie in me Sometimes clueless of what I do Though loss is what I want Regret will shunt any sterile haunt-- I choose regretting you
And if you insist On sharing my bliss I'll tell you this If aiming to know How my reasonings go (I tend to giggle when I lie) Before contorting minds will pry Wearily the boasts consist And memory gruels the strife:
Your lonely kiss is on my list Of the sweeter things in life
My two day visit to my cousins came to an end today, and though my stay with them was only brief, it was still invigorating. I feel happier, and more alive than I have felt in many weeks. Due to time constraints, I was unable to take the girls to a zoo as I had planned, but we still were able to spend time together, even if it was just simple things like laying on a bed with them, listening to music together. I also bought the older girl, who turned 12 last week, one of those shoulder strap bags, a scarf, two gift tickets to a movie theater, so that she could take one of her friends, or her sister with her, and last, but not least, a bag of candies. She liked her present very much, which warmed my heart, as I had struggled to figure out what she would like, seeing how I myself have never been a 12 year old girl, so I only had vague guesses what girls of that age might fancy as a gift.
The girls both pleaded to me that I would have stayed longer, telling me that their autumn break from school would start next week, and that we could spend more time together, including going to the zoo then. Though I would have liked to stay longer too, I unfortunately was unable to due to short nature of my visit. Hopefully I will be able to visit them for a longer period, but for that, I need a better reason to stay at my aunt's place than just my wish to spend time with my cousins.
In any case, I am happy, and very very tired. Hopefully this happiness will linger on till tomorrow, and the days and weeks after it too, as I dread my eventual return to the normal sadness that has dominated my life for years now. The company of my cousins is the only thing I know of that is able to help me get out of that state of mind, if ever so briefly, which is one of the reasons I treasure those girls so much. They are the light of my life, and I know of nothing better than just being able to be with them.
I have no motivation to do anything at all. I'm failing all my courses. I honestly don't want to keep trying. Everything feels like it's crumbling around me. All the emotions and thoughts I had for the past 2 years came bursting out about an hour ago, in the form of a mental breakdown inside my car. My plan was to finish my Accosiates at Community college so I could go back to a real school to finish my BA (I went to one straight out of highschool and failed.) But idk what to do after that. I dont even think that would make the college experience much better. I have no friends here and can't talk to anyone, really bad Social anxiety. My suicidal thoughts are a lot more frequent.
My boyfriend of only just over a year cheated on me last month, went to a bar and fucked a random guy he met, I found out through a friend that saw him at that same bar that night, they took photos and gave me a fuck ton of proof including pictures of them making out
I confronted him about it and we agreed to seek help and try and patch things up, with the help from counseling we got, we ended up patching things up and things have been pretty good honestly, we're a lot more sexually active with each other, he seems a lot more happy with me, and we're getting a lot of things done
It's still in the back of my head, when I lay down to sleep...when I drive to work...when I'm at lunch...I can't help but think about it, he went out of his way to go to a bar to find someone to fuck, knowing fully what he was doing, he wasn't drunk, he wasn't high, he wasn't raped, he was fully aware that he was going off to cheat on me, and the worst part is, it happened 2 weeks before I found out from my friend, and during those 2 weeks he acted perfectly fine, that's what scares me...
What should I do? Things are great now, but I can't get the thought out of my head.
I've been wishing for death since I was fifteen. Almost a decade later and it's still the same.
Got a girlfriend. Since april she is in another country studying. She likes travelling and I absolutely hate it because I'm a jealous asshole, so we are arguing a lot. She is faithful and we are like five years into a relationship and I know I'm wrong, not her, but I still can't keep the bad thoughts out.
I can't leave my parents' home because I have no cash. I can't work because graduation takes most of my time. I have no hope afterwards because it's an STEM area and I'm really bad at it. All my internships went terribly.
I'm an unlucky bastard in everything I try to accomplish. I have no real friends, but the people closer to me know that everything I try just downright fails, they find it really funny.
So I really hope I die today, but it won't happen. God hates me so I'll probably live a long and miserable life full of regret and sadness.
And to top it all I gained like 30 pounds this year and I'm a fat fuck again. Hooray.
I regret missing what I could have had. I regret messing up the drunken monkey sex we had. I regret not being more open to the idea of medication to make me not such a crazy fucknut sooner, to give you a relationship you deserve. Not a relationship with an ex-felon or a wimp who hasnt made any progress in his career aspects in 8 fucking years.
He's a bagger, A. A fucking bagger. For eight fucking years. You made more than him 3 years ago. I've gone from making half his wage to more than double it in the span of a year with only an associates degree. Twice. He's a joke of a man, not to mention he's unbelievably boring. Even drunk. I love everybody when I'm trashed, and he is literally the only person I've met that is still as unremarkably uninteresting sober as trashed.
I hope he's just a rebound. I truly, truly do. I know you've moved on from me but you deserve better and I want you to have better. P.S. I vigorously masturbate while huffing your bras when you leave them out on the couch.
I can't believe I trusted you having known how you used to be.. You're still the same selfish ass you always were.
I still can't believe that somehow my personal loss became about YOUR feelings and how the situation hurt YOU. I was grieving and you turned a blind eye to your 'best friend' suffering. Then you go and convince yourself of a bunch of stupid bullshit - I was always telling you how much you meant to me, buying you little gifts, saying how you were my favorite person and I didn't know what I'd do without you. Yet somehow you make me out to be some total Ice Queen, but I'm so sorry that losing someone dear to me inconvenienced you and your feelings.
I should have known better.
You know what I do without you? Nothing. I don't talk to anyone. I have nobody. But you're out there doing just fine because you convinced yourself of some bullshit reasons that I'd be okay and have sooo many people supporting me.. You knew that wasn't true.
And you know what? I hate myself for loving you. After everything you've done to me I still miss you and dream about you at night, and it fucking sucks. All those times you said you weren't like the other guys.. Liar.
ive been playing catch up on life for about 4 years now since i moved right after high school i feel like i should just give up and kill myself i have a shit job im terrible at speaking to people no gf "average" dick with terrible self esteem because of it depressed alot of the time dont even know if i have a personality anymore live with my parents no degree but have been taking a few classes that it seems like i will 50/50 pass or fail nowadays cause i cant seem to find the motivation to care which puts me in a shit spot with ~2.0 gpa thinking about going off to real college next year even though im 22 and would be like a fucking old man around all the 18-21 yr olds dont know if itll even be worth it i just want my life to start but im stuck in a clusterfuck of shit i got myself into i dont want to be stuck in my parents house anymore, i feel im starting to become a burden
>>16328406 >"average" dick with terrible self esteem because of it
You have low self esteem because you're average? Meaning around 5 inches, the size of most men? Wat?
Yeah you're not hung but at least you don't have a micro-penis. Don't be a baby. Girls don't actually care, especially when 5 inches is plenty adequate. Would you stop liking a girl just because she didn't have DD tits?
>>16328446 for some reason its been pounded in my brain from media and the like that having average or below dick means you are trash girls always seem more shallow when it comes to the size of certain parts and guys are always using dick size as a measure of how much better they are
I wish someone was there to comfort me as I go through all this shit alone, but I know deep down I'm going to be alone my entire life. I've always...watched life happen, I've never LIVED it, hard to convey my feelings in regards to this. Kind of a dissociation. Everyone else had friends, went out, did stuff, moved on, they're doing well in college, going for their dreams and stuff, and here I am, about to drop out of college for the second time because of my untreated bipolar (diagnosed, just poor fag and free shit health insurance means slow treatment), parents are upset as hell that I'm not Bill Cuck a Duck Gates (can't accept the reality that I'm not some genius child), compare me to my NEET brothers (they're 30+ year old living at home college dropout, wife of one of them moved in so 3 NEET's at home, one helps with bills so really 2). Consider me a failure. Keep telling me to go out and get a degree to BE SOMEBODY! Thats all they care about, that I'm a somebody.
I have isolated myself from so many people including my friends. Once of my closest friends hates me now, but I deserve it. I should've sent her a message as soon as I found out, but I didn't know what to say and didn't want to come across as insincere. I finally did, but she ignores me now.
The only place I'm comfortable at is home. I wish I could go back to being a neet but I have to work because we need the money and I need to be useful somehow.
I think about suicide daily. I wish I never existed. My spouse, pets, and mom are the only things that have stopped me. They depend on me but I am so miserable every fucking day.
Anytime I feel like crying it's not the right time or place and when it finally is, I can't. It fucking sucks.
I need to see a therapist. I hate bottling my feelings. I could always tell my spouse because they're the only person who understands me, but I want to tell someone how I am without them freaking out. I need a non-biased person to hear me and not give me an ass pat, guilt trip, or a pity party.
>>16313722 I can feel that. My ex girlfriend, one of our huge problems was her drinking. I once found her drunk cheating on me oyahocon(a convention in ohio).
It fucking killed me, she swore she would never drink again. And she didn't for the next year-ish we were together. Now that I ended it she has been drinking a lot. I haven't spoken to her but we have some of the same friends. I hear things..... I wish I didn't.
I wish I could cry or felt comfortable ctying near anyone. I'm the receptacle for everyone's baggage. I help out how I can and move on so it doesn't drag me down but I don't really want to do that to anyone. I only want to bother if that person honestly wants to be there for me yet I;m so convinced most people don't. I'm okay with who I am but I want to change how I am. I want to fix myself and it feels so shitty because it feels like I need someone else, a real friend, to do so.
I wish I had people that I trust, people that I can talk to, but.. I can't be too mad, it's a give and take thing. I can't expect people to be trusting and honest with me when I can't bring myself to be trusting and honest with them. I'm a shell of a person, going through the motions of life without meaning behind anything I do. I feel like I gave up on happiness. I expect to get sick or depressed enough to end it, I just.. Don't want to yet. Not until it all gets too unbearable. I don't know how soon or how distant that's going to be.
I've had feelings for my teacher for a while and this is horrible because I spend all week anxiously waiting for our lesson and by the time I'm about to enter our classroom I'm ready to have a panic attack, am a nervous mess throughout it and obviously can't concentrate. When it's over the process repeats itself.
I know he doesn't return my feelings but that doesn't stop me from thinking about him constantly, and I don't want to and hate this but I can't help myself. How can I rid myself of these feelings and finally make this stop??
Feeling guilty. I genetically passed down a disorder to my child. Recently, at the age of 18, my child has been telling me things like he is not like the other kids, that I should feel like shit for giving birth to him, that he no longer acts like himself around people and is doing things that he wouldn't normally do. He's depressed and beginning to act out. He's told me he thinks about hurting himself and actually has not too long ago. He lives with his other parent and I live a state away. I visit as often as possible, at least once a week. He is in a lot of activities so it makes it difficult. I'll at least try to meet with him for dinner if nothing else because I know I'm the only one he trusts to open up to. He HATES his other parent but feels trapped because its senior year and he just wants to survive it so moving with me at this point he says can't happen. I don't know what I can do to help the kid as I do as much as I can. I want him to be more accepting of himself and learn that he doesn't have to be anyone different than who he is and he should never feel like he has to lie about who he is to have others like him. What would you say is the best advice I can give him? He needs confidence as the confidence he has now is fake and bloated and I do think that is turning people against him.
I thought what this girl and I had was special, and she was taking it slow despite her attraction to me.
Now she acts the same way around a guy who's okay but has traits of everything she told me she hates. It can't be more obvious that he's just a friend, but she acts just as close to him as she ever did to me. Turns out I'm just another friend, I suppose.
We still have a date lined up, but can I even call those dates anymore?
>Friend is having bad relationship problems >Him and his girlfriend fight a lot >Sometimes it gets pretty serious >He has a huge fight one night >Ends up staying at my place >He's tired and sick feeling >Spends most of the time crying >He's laying on the couch >I'm playing therapist for him >"What should I do, Anon?" >I stand up out of my chair and think >"This is what you should do..." >I walk over to him and bend over >My ass is right near his head >He's looking up at the ceiling >"Dude what are you do-" >I unleash a huge fart right into his face >Sounds like air deflating from a balloon at high speeds >"DUDE WHAT THE FUCK?!?!" >He jumps up off the couch and pushes me >Storms out the front door
Long story short, he ends up going home to his girlfriend, they end up having a HUGE fight and he ended up getting arrested for the night, he blames me because if I didn't fart in his face he wouldn't of went home and had that fight with his girlfriend
Now is it really my fault, or did he overreact?
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