Me and him met late last year and we hit it off pretty much right away. He was funny, smart, attractive and we got along great. We started off as friends but soon began seeing each other. He was always there for me throughout my self harm, depression and other personal/family problems I was facing.
In May of this year though I went out with some guy who I used to know and we got drunk. I basically ended up sleeping with him although I was really drunk.. it's not an excuse I know but I would not have done it if I was drunk. Anyways I kept this from him but he found out a month later after going through my messages.
He cut me off after finding out but I got back in touch with him a week later and after we talked about it for a while and I told him how sorry I was and he decided to forgive me and we gave our relationship another go. However I didn't feel like it'd work so I broke up with him two weeks or so later. He reluctantly agreed to remain friends.
I think shortly after this he began to drink more and more. I'd still call him every single day and we'd hang out sometimes.. although sometimes when we'd drink together he'd breakdown and/or get emotional about me and him. I know he really loved me but I guess I still love my other ex (my first bf who used to be abusive and cheated on me).
During the time we weren't together we were more or less fwb on and off. Idk if this messed with his head or gave him false hope. I definitely didn't always treat him well and I regret that.
Last night we hanged out and he ended up getting really drunk and yelled and shit at me. He was really drunk but it's happened a few times so I told him I don't want anything more to do with him but that I'd text/call him occasionally to see how he's doing. I also told him I started speaking to my ex again which was one of the things he accused me of doing.
He's now not answering my calls or is phone is switched off. He's not online either. I don't know what to do.. advice? :/
Hey OP looks like you got your answer huh?
You don't care about him, if you did you wouldn't have cheated. I wish I was born in a time where fucking whores like you didn't exist.
I don't think you really need advice...you cheated on this great guy, and he's hurt.
If you really, truly care for him you will get out of his life and let him find a woman that truly loves him.
Stop contacting him, leave him alone, anything else is selfish on your part.
This thread has restored my faith in you /adv/.
OP you asked for advice and got it now please take it and livestream it, I'll set it up if you want. We don't need you in this world but we'll happily watch you commit suicide.
He probably did really care for you, especially after helping you through your issues. All that seems to have happened here is give him a bunch of issues. He's clearly broken over the cheating, broken over forgiving you and you breaking up with him again. Broken over your continued FWB status (and continued false hope) and broken over having to be "friends" with you while you start talking to your abusive ex again.
The best thing you can do for him at this point is leave him the fuck alone before you do more damage. You seem like an incredibly destructive person. Not only to yourself, but those around you.
Kill yourself guys and stop buying everything
>I hear men cheat equally
You heard it? From your social studies teacher?
Try reading a study you ignorant fucking bitch, women will cheat even when they believe they're "in love" source? 45% of ashley madison female users.
Kill yourself faggot.
So you bite the bait and you ask me to kill myself because I told you ? CUNT ALERT
>45% of ashley madison profiles are woman
Instead of playing it smart try to read the newspapers you would have learnt that 99% of HM female users were bots created by employees and whores contacted by HM
Now you can go back to /b/, mentally retarded shitposter
>45% of ashley madison profiles are woman
Nice reading comprehension, go back to school you fucking retard.
>makes shit up
topkek show proof before you go kill yourself fucking faggot.
>We started off as friends but soon began seeing each other. He was always there for me throughout my self harm, depression and other personal/family problems I was facing.
Sound like your typical 4chan /adv/ love story ha!,you're a pyscho woman but it's his fault he stayed knowing all this,this says danger all over it.He's a weak man and you're a shitty woman.This is why bad women exist because of desperate mfs like himself.
>You slept with another guy because you were drunk.
Please! you know your body better than anybody else,you knew you weren't suppose to get drunk around those guys.You know better.
>He cut me off after finding out but I got back in touch with him a week later and after we talked about it for a while and I told him how sorry I was and he decided to forgive me and we gave our relationship another go. However I didn't feel like it'd work so I broke up with him two weeks or so later. He reluctantly agreed to remain friends.
You crazy bitch what do you want from him,you don't want to be in a relationship with him.You're a parasite is what you are but hey he should of left your crazy ass a long time ago.
>I also told him I started speaking to my ex again which was one of the things he accused me of doing
You crazy bitch you love drama huh,you know better.
>He's now not answering my calls or is phone is switched off. He's not online either. I don't know what to do.. advice? :/
Leave him be you cunt and get theraphy,tell his ass to get some too.
>This is how /adv/ always responds to cheaters. Nothing new.
Bet you can't link me one archived thread of a cheater being told to kill themselves over 20 times. Very new, obviously female poster.
Oh, okay I didn't know you were just excited about people posting the same phrase over and over.
You're right, that is a very unique thing for 4chan. Bet you're especially excited because you got dubs too.
you should have removed yourself from his life sooner.
If you really want to help him out then get another girl and have a 3 way bang session to help get his confidence up and get himself out of his head and then stop talking to him.
if you don't or can't do that then just stop talking to him.
It's good that you want to set things right, but I'm afraid that the best thing you can do for him is to admit that the friendship isn't working, apologize one last time, and let him go.
This is not because his case is hopeless. Quite the opposite: your continued presence in his life is reopening the wounds, keeping the pain fresh. By insisting on maintaining that presence, you are actually hurting him further. He needs time AND distance, and you are denying him the latter.
I am sorry to tell you this, but if you want him to be able to heal, then he needs you to not be in his life. This may not need to be forever, but it is going to take a long time.
Bitter because I can tell gender through text?
It's amazing, females type like children.
>You're right, that is a very unique thing for 4chan.
Is the lil girl trying to strawman me? Sorry babes but this is /adv/ a place where sluts like you give out slut advice to other women.
I had forgotten about that shitty meme, why do people care when you can download a post tracker and get quads every post?
>Well, I need him in my life.
Then you're at an impasse. You need him in your life. He needs you to not be in his life. We have already seen what happens when he does not get what he needs, so perhaps you should take a turn.
After all she's already done to him do you really think she's going to do the right thing?
We're dealing with a narcissist here, she will only act in her self interest, right now she's only here waiting for one person to tell her exactly what she wants and she'll use that as justification to keep fucking with this poor guy.
>After all she's already done to him do you really think she's going to do the right thing?
She says she wants to, so let's point her at the right thing and see what happens. If she does, great. If she doesn't, then maybe you're right.
Your relationship is unsalvageable because he lost any kind of trust in you and no matter how much he is trying to make it work ( still talking to you, hanging out with you ) he's obviously torn between his feelings for you and reason.
The best thing you can do is leave him alone because you obviously betrayed his trust.
Also, alcohol increases how you feel. You knew well what would happen when you fuck that other guy but you didn't respect your current bf enough at the time.
I hope you learned a good life lesson from this.
You're the one that said this thread restored your faith in /adv/ as if there was something new about it. Troll thread anyway, but whatever.
Are you female perchance? Or do you think namecalling is what makes you the adult?
You're the one that switched from normal to passive aggressive in an instant.
There is something very new, for once people here are giving good advice, ie "kill yourself whore"
>Or do you think namecalling is what makes you the adult?
No but the shoe fits.
>Are you female perchance?
Yes what prompted that question?
He still loves me so obviously he should still wanna talk to me. I am talking to my ex and yeah, my ex did a lot of shit to me.. he abused me mentally, physically even sexually but he was my first boyfriend and I loved him. I can't help that.
>I can't help that.
Wow, this is what whores actually believe.
Girl, if I post a timestamped pic of myself (without face) will you do the same? I want to see why you're so fucked up I imagine you have body image issues, I'm 5'2 93lb and a virgin, probably the only female virgin left on this planet, stop trying to make excuses and leave the guy alone, you're the worst type of woman going and you make the rest of us look bad.
>probably the only female virgin left on this planet
Lol you'd be surprised. My sister is like an 8 and she's still a virgin at 22 because she's so invested in her hobby and only get approached by sleazy guys ( loud arabs mostly ) while the guys she actually likes (5 and under nerdy guys ) are too intimated by her and she gets panic attack about asking them out. It's quite cute to be honest.
>There is something very new, for once people here are giving good advice, ie "kill yourself whore"
That's not even remotely new. I answered sarcastically when your response was pointing out something that wasn't new, then saying I had to be a very new female poster. You jump all over the place saying sluts and that I'm defending them, which is nowhere in any of my posts.
I asked if you were female because you're typing the exact way you describe females as typing. Topkeks.
You don't deserve him you entitled bitch, you're a legit narcissist.
THIS >>16333399 you're doing exactly what he said you would, you're sitting here waiting for someone to tell you what you want.
So she's a virgin not out of choice? Doesn't really count.
You're here defending OP. OP is obviously a narcissist and a bad person, I believe you're defending the OP so obsessively because you can sympathise with her, because you're also a whore.
You type in a passive aggressive manner, I type in an aggressive manner.
Since you seem to have an almost male ego on you how about we just see which one of us is better looking?
I'm not a fucking narcissist.
I just want to know how to get him to talk to me. He's not been online all day or anything. I still want to speak to him, after last night I told him I wont hang out with him anymore but i would still call or text him. Now hes not even got his phone switched on. just help me please
>So she's a virgin not out of choice? Doesn't really count.
Well it's more like she doesn't really care yet. Like those guys who played videogames all their youth and at age 20 are whining about having no gf and refusing advances from obese chicks.
You wouldn't just settle with some trash-tier guy just for the sake of losing your virginity right ?
Yes you are. You don't care about his feelings. YOU WANT TO TALK TO HIM NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
Disgusting narcissist, just admit it already, if you can't have it YOUR way you don't want it at all, leave him alone for FUCK SAKE you self entitled bitch
Just because I slept with someone else when I was DRUNK.. doesn't mean I don't love him. I was drunk, can't you fucking udnerstand that? I had almost two bottles of vodka I didn't even know it had happened until the next day when the guy told me
>You wouldn't just settle with some trash-tier guy just for the sake of losing your virginity right?
Another narcissist, I won't be losing my virginity out of wedlock unlike whores like you and your sister.
By the sounds of things you're a trash tier underage boy.
>I was drunk
Does that work at a murder trial?
Drunk doesn't mean shit you idiot, you shouldn't have put yourself in that position you fucking narcissist whore, GO AWAY. Everyone here sees that you're a narcissist and a whore.
Oh no I crashed my car while drunk, it's ok I was drunk lolol.
Go away slut.
Holy shit why do you have to be so angry. I thought it was mildly interesting that's all and just wanted to tell your it means fuck all to be a virgin.
I'm sorry didn't wanna offend you or anything.
I'm not a slut at all. It was one time and it was a stupid mistake.
Another thing he's angry about is that I lied about an STD or potential STD. Cos the guy I slept with told me he was having symptoms "down there" so I told my boyfriend that a guy I slept with before me and him got together messaged me saying that, not the guy who I cheated on him with.
I know I've fucked up but im not a slut.
>lied about an STD
>still talking to ex
Yeah, if it walks, quacks and swims like a duck, it's a duck. Your a slut, no matter what you think of yourself. Its okay, just know its what other people think of you.
I'm not angry, like I said I type aggressively.
>it means fuck all to be a virgin
Nope, If two partners lose their virginity to each other in wedlock they will remain together for 65y+ on average.
If both people had over 10 partners each they will remain together for an average of 25y.
Virginity definitely means something, you can keep saying it doesn't, but when you're 30 and looking to have your first child remember this and know you won't ever last :)
Yes you are, it wasn't a mistake.
I don't mean to undermine the fact that very high numbers of partners has an effect on relationships length but don't you think it's biased to only base your happiness on that ?
What % of those 65y+ marriage are miserable because they don't know any better ?
I'm not advocating going around fucking everything you can but expecting your relationship to last only because you're both virgin is a little bit naive to me. You can have a great life with a small amount of long term relationships. People's needs change over time you know.
That's like saying you keep the same friends your entire life.
I'm not basing my happiness of that, if you're trying to say I'm somewhat unhappy I'm a virgin you're wrong.
>What % of those 65y+ marriage are miserable because they don't know any better ?
Are you saying "knowing better" is having a lot of guys penetrate you? "knowing better" doesn't require sex it requires love.
>I'm not advocating going around fucking everything you can but expecting your relationship to last only because you're both virgin is a little bit naive to me.
You think I'm naive but you can't seperate sex from love? Come on, take a good hard look at yourself, sex isn't love it's pleasure.
>People's needs change over time you know.
What changes? You want a bigger cock?
>That's like saying you keep the same friends your entire life.
Those are called true friends and it would be sad if you never had any.
Not only that but he's never gone this long without talking to me. He normally comes around after an hour.
Plus he slept with someone when I was considering getting back with him, a person I used to be friends with. So he's not an angel
Jesus fucking christ
Why are women such heartless bitches?
Just leave him the fuck alone. Forever. You're fucking killing him. Don't you understand that you can't make it better? You can't take back what happened. All you can do is LEAVE HIM ALONE and let him heal and move on.
You are not good for him. You are destroying him. Not only did you break his heart, but he CAN'T FUCKING GET AWAY FROM YOU. Imagine how that would feel.
Op I'm going to give you sound advice. Once upon a time I lost my iPod. Did I quit? No! Did I give up? No!
What did I do? I became an hero. Now the person who took my iPod truely regrets it.
OP there is only one correct path for you. Become an hero and show the world!
You -are- responsible for his drunken breakdown. That's what everyone is trying to tell you. If you actually do "still care about him," then the only good thing you can do is give him some fucking space and let him get over you.
But you don't really care. When you say you care, it just means that you still want attention and affection from him. You want to keep him on the hook until you've sucked all the life and happiness out of him. That's what is happening. You're bleeding this guy out. He can't possibly move on if you insist on staying in his orbit like this.
If you care, LEAVE. cut contact. Your presence in his life is only causing pain and damage. There's nothing you can do to make things the way they used to be.
This is comong from an alcohlic that thought he was over it but got dru k again tobight and is browsing 4chan amyway i became a dribker becausw of this giel im sturll woth and the typing is thw fone bot the drink just cut contact everytime i hear from my ex i dronk so leave ot bitch or he will keep drinking
>helps you get through depression
>you reward him by sucking another mans dick and fucking him
you are the absolute worst kind of person. get cervical cancer, and please never reproduce.
You love your ex. What you did with the other guy obviously shows that he means nothing to you and you only kept him for your own convenience. Be happy with your abuser and stop abusing others. Just let him be, and let him get over you. As for you, grow some spine and learn your limits.
when he forgives you, IF he forgives you, you are just going to suck another mans cock cause you are a fucking whore.
if you ever have kids, I hope you have a daughter that turns out to be as much of a whore as you are.
this is proof karma does exist. you dont deserve to raise kids. you worthless cunt.
Holy shit what the fuck is wrong with you? Why would he still want to talk to you? Do you really have no self-awareness, no empathy, no understanding that the world doesn't revolve around what you want?
You fucking ruined this guy. It's going to take him years to recover, and he'll probably never really be able to have a trusting relationship again. You made him deal with all your personal problems, you cheated on him, then you begged him to take you back and DUMPED HIM TWO WEEKS LATER. Then you CONTINUE to call him, and text him, and sleep with him when you want to, and just string him along and confuse the shit out of him.
If it's your goal to push him to suicide, you're doing a great fucking job.
Just stop seeing this guy. You're only making things worse and worse, and this guy is obviously too attached or too stupid to realize the bad influence you are on him, and the idiotic choices he makes around you.
>reading this thread
please be bait. this cant be real life. he helped you get through depression and you cheat on him, with an alleged ex that physically/sexually abused you?
you should kill yourself, this is not sarcasm. you are fucked in the head. end your life before you hurt anyone else.
I didn't cheat on him with my ex.. the person I slept with was just some guy I knew from a long time back.
I'm not a slut or a whore or anything horrible like that. I made a genuine mistake. ugh.. I'm worried he really has cut me off.
Are you just ignoring every post in this thread? He needs to cut you off. You need to be out of his life, at least for a few years. It's the only way he's going to get better. If you stay in his life, he's going to keep sliding downhill until his life is truly, irreversibly fucked. He needs space to get over it.
I'm not calling you a slut or a whore. I'm trying to make you understand that you're killing this guy and you claim to care about him.
Are you not reading any of these comments?
You still cheated on him, and it's fucked with him mentally. You have no idea how long it'll probably take this guy to recover, if he can.
You are a slut, and a whore wtf, that isn't just a mistake, try to think about what you've done to this guy after everything you've said about him.
I hope he does cut you off, he really needs to. You're the worst kind of person any guy could have in his life.
Me and him have had some amazing times together and I know they meant something not only to him but to me too.
I just want to be able to talk to him from time to time. What's the harm seriously? People make mistakes and tbh when I slept with another guy we weren't really as "deep" or "meaningful" as far as our relationship goes cos it was still kinda early days
It's not your fault he doesn't have coping mechanisms and turns to booze when things get rough. I think everyone has experienced something like this to a degree, and a lot of us don't get plastered every night because of it.
also if you're so worried about him having a drinking problem WHY would you drink with him? it just further proves you don't actually give a shit about this guy, it's all about how you feel and what you want.
you really are a bitch.
Stop trying to justify your cheating on him.
You probably fucked up his sense of trust for good now.
Stop trying to contact this guy, you don't understand what the harm is because you're too much of a shitweasel to put yourself in his position and understand how he must've felt. I agree that he was dumb as fuck to be with someone as retarded as you in the first place, but every time you try to contact him he's probably reminded of the immense pain you've caused him. Leave him alone, for the love of god.
Listen to the advice of every post on this thread and kill yourself so you can never cause that much pain to another human being again.
People make mistakes, yeah, but they have consequences. And ALL of the consequences for YOUR mistake are falling on HIM. Because you're apparently incapable of feeling guilt or remorse or empathy.
He can't see you or speak to you or talk to you without thinking about how you betrayed him. How he held your hand through all of your troubles and dark times, and then you turned around and treated him like he didn't matter. How you continue to USE him for your own amusement, companionship, and pleasure, even after breaking his heart. How his own self-respect crumbles away every time he lets you back in, answers a text, or gives in to one of your "sorta kinda FWB" booty calls. How he can't seem to get over his feelings for you, no matter how many times you hurt him, no matter how many times you show him that you DO NOT GIVE A SINGLE FUCK ABOUT HIS FEELINGS, WELL-BEING, OR HEALTH, not as long as you're getting whatever YOU want.
That's what goes through his head every time you "talk to him from time to time." That's what you're doing to him. That's why he's drinking now. That's why he's going to start fucking up at work, and treating his friends like shit, and thinking about killing himself. Because you WILL NOT LET THE WOUND HEAL. Every time you call him and text him and beg him to talk to you, you rip the Band-Aid off and pick and scratch at it until it's bleeding again.
LEAVE HIM THE FUCK ALONE. I'm done posting, because you're clearly not listening. You only hear what you want to hear, you only care about what you want. You really are a terrible person, and you don't want to change.
You filthy slut, you deserve to rot. Not in hell, NO! You deserve to rot while you are alive. You crushed his soul. HE EVEN FORGAVE YOU. I cannot state how much I despise people like you. May your life be full of despair, pain, failure and desolation.
No. you made him crazy. This situation would make ANYONE crazy. You deserve to be yelled at. There's probably a part of him that wants to kill you. He can't help that. These are the consequences of your mistake. You've turned him into a crazy person. You've created psychological issues.
The only way to fix it, as has been stated a hundred fucking times, is to LEAVE HIM ALONE. Remove your toxic presence from his life. He will get better if you're gone. He will only get worse when you're around. There is no other answer. There's no way you're going to get the solution you want, where this all goes away and he's happy to talk to you and have fun with you again. That's gone. You threw it away. Maybe it was just an "honest mistake," but you can't take it back. You just have to deal with the fallout. You lost a friend and a lover, it's over, now for the love of god stop hurting him.
I haven't seen such cheap bait work so effectively in quite some time.
I'll give this 8/10 because there are plenty of femanons on this board who are disgusting and vile as OP appears to be.
>He can't dwell on it forever
But why does he still have to be your friend? How is he supposed to stop dwelling on it if you won't leave him alone? Why are you incapable of understanding this?
Because I still need him in my life like I stated previously. I think we get along better as friends. Well I've learnt to move past it and deal with it, so he should be able to in time.
He just needs to accept that me and him are over in that regard.
I'm not trolling?
I'm being serious. If I CAN move on and accept things won't work for whatever reason then he should be able to as well.
Can't you understand that? He's still not answered my calls or texts and he hasn't been online on Facebook for 10 hours :( i just miss him
If you respect him, it'd be better to cut all connections. He's still gonna have fresg scars that re-opens when he sees you.
Though you were not sober, your direct actions is caused his spiral, and still ongoing
I'm honestly speechless, what the fuck.
This has to be bait.
Are you seriously that fucked up in the head?
You're saying that you've forgiven yourself for something YOU have done, so he should too?
How fucking self-centred can you be?
Please just leave him alone, you're being the most selfish bitch on the planet.
I'm not selfish!
I ADMITTED THAT WHAT I DID WAS FUCKING HORRIBLE AND WRONG. BUT HE KNOWS HOW MUCH IT HURT ME WHEN HE CUT ME OFF THE FIRST TIME. I WAS LITERALLY SPENDING THAT WEEK BY MYSELF ALONE, NOBODY TO TALK TO ALL I DID WAS CUT AND SMOKE WEED.
CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I STILL WANT HIM IN MY LIFE?
If you miss him and really care about him, you shouldn't have destroyed his fucking soul the way you did. If you still care though, leaving him alone is the best thing you can do for him.
He's drinking like that to try and ease the pain you've caused him as he either deals with it, or decides whether or not he still wants to exist
But every time you try to contact him he thinks about it and you make it that much harder.
YOU CAN'T BE HIS FRIEND. Your very presence in his life is destroying him. Friends don't do that. You gave up that possibility when you cheated on him. I get that it was a mistake, I get that you regret it, but IT HAPPENED AND IT WAS YOUR CHOICE. These are the consequences.
>If I CAN move on and accept things won't work for whatever reason then he should be able to as well.
god damn I don't even know what to say to this. You clearly CAN'T accept that things won't work out, because this entire thread is made up of you refusing to accept that things won't work out. Not just romantically, but ANY relationship between the two of you is a bad idea. He's going to keep drinking and going crazy because you're fucking with his head. Just find another guy for fuck's sake. Why can't you just leave him be?
It's as though now he's found out I started talking to my ex again (nothing is even going on, I do love him but he's got his own girlfriend) that I've betrayed him again and we're not even together now at this point!
Taking responsibility means accepting the consequences. Accepting the consequences means accepting that he isn't your friend anymore, he can't stand the sight of you, you need to leave him alone. THAT is what it means to accept responsibility.
Saying "I'm sorry" does not erase what you did, it doesn't change all the horrible feelings and thoughts running through his head. You can't take it back. It's done.
Learn a lesson and move on. Maybe next time you care about someone, you won't treat them like this. But it's too late with this guy. You killed it. He's only going to get worse and worse the more you try to stay friends.
It doesn't fucking matter that you still want him in your life. It isn't about you anymore. You're the one that hurt him.
He probably doesn't give a fuck at this point, you've already done the worst thing possible.
It could be that you cheated on him and destroyed him? maybe that's why he's upset.
I just want to know what he's doing. He's never normally offline this long, it's been 10 hours now it says wtf.
I've called him like 13 times, messaged him on Facebook, texted him, Skype'd him and nothing. -.-
you're either a very good troll, or you're legit mentally disabled.
Everyone is telling you the same thing. Literally everyone has the same answer for you. And you just won't hear it, because it isn't what you want. And the only thing that matters to you is what YOU want.
In a few months, when this guy runs his car off a bridge and kills himself, you still won't get it. You still won't understand that it was your fault. You'll probably post here with a thread like "OMG MY FRIEND DIED, AND I'M SO SAD, HOW DO I STOP FEELING SAD???"
Wtf. Suicide isn't even funny. He won't kill himself. He isn't depressed. If anything I will. I'm the one diagnosed with depression, then borderline and bipolar earlier this week because I got put in a mental hospital for trying to kill myself.
He was there for me during that, well, he couldn't visit cos they wont allow visitors but he spoke to me on the phone.
>He isn't depressed.
Are you serious? Why do you think he's drowning his guts with alcohol?
You set his sense of trust in a decent relationship ablaze. Next time, if there is one, please at least have the decency and respect to break it off with your current partner before taking another man to bed.
Yep. so it's still all about you. I wasn't making a joke. I don't think suicide is funny. But I've been in the same position your "friend" is in right now, and even though I don't have a fancy list of "disabilities" like you do, the thought of suicide crossed my mind many times. It is a horrible thing to be betrayed by someone you love, even worse if you still have to see them around afterwards. But at least she didn't call me. At least she understood I needed space. It was bad enough as it was. I can't even imagine what I would've done if she'd acted the way you're acting right now.
I don't think you understand how badly you've hurt him. It's crazy that you're managing to twist the situation to make it sound like YOU'RE the victim, YOU'RE the one getting hurt. You just don't care. I don't even think you're capable of caring.
He helped you with all of your shit. He helped you at your worst. He's at his worst right now. And the only way you can help him is STOP CALLING HIM. LEAVE HIM ALONE. And you won't do it. You just keep pushing him down the hill.
He's already developed a drinking problem, he's already having "crazy" drunken outbursts. WHERE DO YOU THINK THIS ENDS UP? Suicide is not a joke at all. I bet he's already thought about it a few times. And you just keep pushing him.
I probably would have a little sympathy for you, considering I've been in that boat, if you weren't such a literal piece of shit and did something like that to, not just another person, someone who loved you and cared about you more than your irritatingly self-centred brain could probably imagine.
This is the last post I'm going to read on this thread. Please fucking understand it this time. I would ask you to wish that poor guy my best, but you'd probably aggravate the fuck out of him and make him feel like shit.
Holy shit, you just can't stop. Now you're going to make him look like the bad guy, turn other people against him, spread stories about him, when YOU ARE THE ONE DOING THIS TO HIM. YOU ARE THE REASON HE'S GOING CRAZY. THIS SHIT, THAT YOU ARE DOING LITERALLY RIGHT NOW.
He really is going to kill himself. You are a fucking parasite. It goes beyond sick. you're not just sick, you ARE a sickness in other peoples' lives. Look back through your life, on all your friendships and relationships, and tell me how you've made someone's life better. ONE person who has ended up happier and healthier because of your involvement in their life.
Are you fucking serious? Don't make his outburst seem like he fucked up to his friends too, you evil bitch.
That was purely your fault. The more you try to involve yourself with him like that the more frequently he's going to get upset and have outbursts and get drunk. He's going to start fucking up all over the place, and you're literally going to be the sole cause of his terrible outlook on life and/or possible suicide.
I'm done with you, I'm replying for his sake now. Don't ruin this guy any further than you've already killed him inside.
>I know what I did was wrong but he's treated me like shit in the past too.
He has never done anything this bad to you. And how can you even say that after all you said he's done for you? He made your life better, and may well just end up ending his. You're seriously fucking twisted.
If you read nothing else, just read this
Please leave him alone for his own sake, if you really care about him. He can't be in your life any more. He just can't.
Well hopefully he'll call me back. He shouldn't be cutting me off after last night. He was a fucking dick for no reason.
Plus like I said I was thinking about giving him what he wanted asnd getting back with him but then he hooked up with another girl.. we might not have been together but it still fucking hurt
Can someone screencap and post the whole thread somewhere? It's a wonderful example of how clueless some girls are.
OP is most likely a bait but if she's not then she's simply a horrible person who assumed that because she sees a thing and is willing to regard it in a particular way then everyone else should do so. She spends most of the time pushing the blame, making bullshit excuses of "but he also did something", claim that her apologizing and feeling bad was enough to make up for her shit.
Anyway, screencap to share with future generations and in similar threads would be greatly appreciated.
You came here for advice to fuck around with a poor guy like a monster you are. We gave you one to make the world a better place. If you expected to be a disgusting monster and then get a pat on your back for it or a suggestion how to continue being one without seriously owing to your actions, I am not sorry we disappointed.
I do understand that disgusting nearly half a hundred of posters from all around the world, of different gender, age and walks of life is hurting your ego but you were given the advice. You may not like it because it doesn't fit your personal interests or expectations but it's the best advice you deserve.
Stop torturing the guy with your person. You're toxic.
>"we might have not been together but it still hurts"
>doesn't understand why niggas is trippin
>tries to frame boyfriend in a negative light
I hope you don't have children. You'll fuck them up!
>I'm not selfish
>All I did was fuck someone that wasn't my BF
I diagnose the worst case of selfishness I've seen in years. Take a long walk off a short pier and call in the morning.
I'm not toxic. I'm a genuinely good person and I care about others. I made a dumb mistake.. but shit happens.
I just can't believe he has the nerve to do this. I never cut him off after any of the shit he did to me.
Yeah, he sounds like a real asshole. I can't think of a single reason why he wouldn't call you back.
You should spread some more rumors about him. Keep telling all his friends how "scary" it was when he yelled at you. If that doesn't work, maybe you should just say he hit you? It'd certainly get his attention if all his friends started calling him an abuser. I mean, you've got to show him that he can't just IGNORE you, right? You've got to get his attention somehow.
He's just using Master suppression techniques on you and you feel that you've been unfairly treated because you can't do anything about the situation you've put yourself in you're a selfish person and you should feel really bad.
You just want people to go with idea of how can you screw him further. We want to give an advice how to actually make the situation better - if it's not better for you, it's because you don't deserve better.
That is advice. It's just not the advice you want to hear, because it doesn't get you everything you want with no sacrifice or compromise on your part.
Read your original post. You asked why he's drinking and going crazy and acting like a different person. We told you it's because he feels terrible and confused over what you did, and you won't give him the space to process and heal. You won't leave him alone.
I'm invested because I know what it feels like to be cheated on. But I can't imagine how horrible it would be if she'd constantly harassed me after the fact and demanded friendship, immediately. If you're not a troll, I'm genuinely worried about this guy and what's going to happen to him if you keep this up. Everyone's supposed to care about YOUR depression and self-harm, but you don't give a fuck if you're pushing him to the same fate.
Screw him further? Not at all. That's the last thing I want to do. You've read so much into it assuming immediately from the very beginning that I'm some manipulative "slut". Did you even read what I said?
You obviously only saw the cheating part and conjured the rest up out of your ass.
I'm not going to push him into the same fate. I'm not responsible for his mental state, yeah, I feel bad and I know I'm somewhat responsible for it or at least I feel that way.
I never asked to be friends immediately, he cut me off when he first found out and I tried to explain but he didn't want to know. I got back in touch with him a week later, to give him space but also because I missed him and realized what a mistake I made. He chose to forgive me, I didn't ask him to.
I don't think you're manipulative because you cheated. People DO make mistakes, like you said. And they're forgivable, if you handle them correctly.
I think you're manipulative because AFTER you cheated, you have:
1.) Worn down his resolve and convinced him to take you back
2.) Dumped him two weeks later
3.) Demanded to still be friends
4.) Called, texted, Facebooked, Skyped, and harassed him constantly, despite clear signals that he doesn't want to talk
5.) Talked about how horrible it feels to be "cut off," with no regard that he cut you off because you cheated and fucked with his head, and that feels even more horrible
6.) Convinced him to sleep with you several times after the second breakup
7.) Taunted him with the knowledge that your ex was back in your life and talking to you (why would you even tell him that? He's not your boyfriend anymore, why did he need to know, if not just to make him jealous?)
8.) When he finally snapped and yelled at you, you immediately started playing the victim and telling mutual friends about it
9.) Reacted with jealousy when he tried to move on with another girl, even though YOU CHEATED ON HIM AND DUMPED HIM IN THAT ORDER
10.) Ignored any and all advice that doesn't compliment you and tell you what you want to hear
11.) Used mental illness and the threat of self-harm as an excuse for bad decisions, and a tool to garner attention and sympathy
If that's not manipulative, show me what a manipulative person looks like
You still don't get it. Either you're delusional, stupid or a troll. You had good times with him but that doesn't change the fact that your presence right now no matter your intentions is toxic and will screw him. You may want to be the best friend ever for him right now - it still doesn't matter - you've had his trust, you had the responsibility and you've destroyed it. You proven you don't deserve the trust and responsibility. No, you don't deserve second chances just because for you it's just some mistake you've got over with - he didn't, and yo shouldn't be a selfish leech like this and respect how it is for him, instead of bullying your way into his life just because you are alright with him.
And yet you still bother him, try to be part of his life while everyone tells you that the best would be if you wouldn't. If you'd leave him alone. If you do care about his well-being, that's advice for both you and him - for you two to stay away from each other and cut the contact, forever would be the best. Then he'll have a chance to get better.
Right now you don't seem to care for him to get better. You just care only about how that makes you feel. You cannot really comprehend that he doesn't feel about it like you do, instead you are like a selfish parasite.
>I never asked to be friends immediately
>I asked to be friends one week later
>One week of space should be enough time to get over being cheated on and manipulated and fucked with
>Now I demand friendship like nothing ever happened. I got over it, why can't he?
god damn I can't handle the stupidity
I didn't just dump him two weeks later for the fun of it. I felt bad, but I had just seen my other ex boyfriend cos he had come into my place of work one night (we didn't speak) but it made me realize how much I missed him and that it wasn't fair on either of us.
I didn't demand to be friends. I mean I asked him and it took some persuading because he told me that as much as he wanted me in his life he didn't think he'd be able to handle "just friends" because he loves me despite everything.
I'm not using self-harm to garner sympathy or attention. I just pointed out my own issues because I think they are relevant and when he does shit like this it makes me want to cut.
I'm not harassing him.. I just told you I need him in my life.
I did tell him about my ex but that was only because he asked me why I was hiding messages on my phone the other day and he suspected it was my ex.. I mean he's so paranoid about stuff.. we're not together so it shouldn't matter. All I said was yeah I've been talking to my ex the past couple of days and he didn't say anything else about it.. whether that has done it now and put the final nail in the coffin so to speak I don't know but.. I just miss him.
You are pushing him to the same fate, already. He's already depressed and drinking and flying off the handle at you.
Literally WHY will you not just stop calling him? WHY do you feel he needs to be talking to you right now? WHY can't you take the hint when he doesn't answer?
You're hurting him, you're confusing him, you're refusing to give him one day of peace and quiet to focus on something other than you. You're like a fucking vampire, and it's crazy that you literally can't admit the consequences of your actions. Please, please, just lose his fucking number. Give him six months without hearing from you, at the very least.
He was a good boyfriend to you, and a good friend, and YOU OWE IT TO HIM to at least give him a chance to move on and get better. It's like he's got a big gash on his chest, and he's trying to heal, and every day you come and rip out the stitches. Just fucking stop.
>I didn't dump him just for the fun of it. I dumped him because I wanted another man more than him (not the man I cheated with, but a third man who abused me in the past) and I didn't realize that two weeks ago, I only realized it after I had convinced my emotional wreck of a cheated-on boyfriend to get back with me
>I didn't demand to be friends. I just persuaded him when he didn't want to, because he still felt horrible about the things I'd done to him
>I'm not self-harm to get attention. I'm just pointing out that he has no right to ignore me, because I just might cut myself if he won't give me everything I want
>I'm not harassing him. I'm just calling and texting constantly and refusing to leave him alone when he doesn't want to talk. Because I NEED HIM, and I don't give one little shit how he feels about it. After all, I might cut myself if I don't get what I want, and what's more important than that?
>I'm not harassing him.. I just told you I need him in my life.
>I just miss him.
And you don't deserve him. How hard is to get through your thick skull that no matter how you feel about it you fucked up. Fucked up permanently. Even if you'd be the best person ever from now on, it's you who is the source of his issues, source of his pain and of his unhealthy tendencies. You are the source, you are the reason, you are the problem. There's no way to change it, no way to make it better, no matter how you regret it, no matter how much need him, no matter how much you miss him. Beside one way:
Stay away from him.
No contact in any way, through any medium: no notes, messages, calls, even sights of you. Erase yourself completely from his life - it's tough, but it's your fault. For you all those reasons are "I've just done this or that" - but it's for you they're "just this or that", not for others. That's why people say you're self-centered - you have absolutely no ability to think about how differently it affected the others, how damaging for him are your little actions. You think that if you see it in certain way and it's not a big deal for you, it shouldn't be for others. Well, you're mistaken. Suck it up.
I don't think I should post further in this thread and I'd ask others to not do so either. It's very possibly a bait - I hope it is because the alternative would be one of the least considerate monsters caring for her own drama and satisfaction no matter how much undeserving she is I have seen in quite a bit.
Because you bring nothing but misery to his life and he doesn't fucking want to talk to you.
Want a reason? Read your original post and pick any fucking sentence. There's a perfectly good reason.
This isn't bait for fucksake. I just don't agree wit hthe advice because I'm fairly certain people have gotten past and through harder things in this world within their relationship.
I'm not expecting it to just be forgotten or fixed immediately, I just want us to remain friends.
He's not been online since but he didn't delete me.. I don't know what's going on..
I know he needs me in his life too. I know how much he loves me.. I've seen him literally cry over me at times.. and I hate to see that but I know it would be better for us if we remained friends. I don't want to throw everything away over some stupid mistake.
Yes they have, but only if they give each other space and time. That is what everyone is telling you to do, everyone's just getting angry because you fucking refuse to hear it. A week is not nearly enough. He needs at least a year or two.
He cannot be your friend right now. And it's your actions that caused it. Just accept the consequences. He's already come to the same conclusion, that's why he's not answering. Just stop pushing him. A guy can only take so much, and you've pushed him far beyond most guy's limit.
You say you don't expect it to be forgotten or fixed immediately, but you refuse to do the ONE THING that can help your relationship. STOP. Just stop talking to him.
I know emotions run high, but if literally everyone in the thread is giving you the same piece of advice, it's probably correct. I'm sorry you don't want to hear it. But it's the only thing that's gonna work.
Maybe someday you'll be friends again. But he needs a long fucking time without seeing you or hearing from you. You need to understand how bad you've hurt him and stop acting like it's all about your wants and your feelings. It's not.
Whether this is bait or not , kill yourself. Find something better to do with your time or if you are actually this retarded it would be better for this world if you didn't poison anyone else on this planet like your "boyfriend"
You are literally delusional. I can't waste any more time on this. There are only so many ways to phrase the same fucking piece of advice. I'll try one more time.
Leave him alone. Give him time and space. Lots of it. It is possible that you'll be friends again, but if so, it'll be years down the line, when he's processed this and moved on and found another girl. Right now, it's all too raw.
Learn a fucking lesson from this, learn that your actions & decisions actually have a real effect on people, and you can't always just sweep it all under the rug and go back to fun & happiness. There's a good chance you've ruined this friendship forever.
It's not up to you anymore. He's not responding to you because, right now, he DOES NOT WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND. Accept that. Maybe it will change in the future, but it's not up to you, and you're not going to change that by blowing up his phone.
Nobody is helping. I just keep getting the same shitty advice. I don't want to wait six months or more before we speak. I can't do that
Not only that but people are just coming in here saying they've bee ncheated on and makingit seem like they're exactly the same. Different people, different circumstances.
>This isn't bait for fucksake. I just don't agree wit hthe advice because I'm fairly certain people have gotten past and through harder things in this world within their relationship.
Some people got through harder things and often regretted it. Many also tried to get through those harder things and got screwed over. And since your problem was about you betraying his trust and fucking him over, we peg him in the second category.
>I'm not expecting it to just be forgotten or fixed immediately, I just want us to remain friends.
And you are still too dumb and uncaring to think about how that is toxic for him, no matter what you feel and hope for.
>He's not been online since but he didn't delete me.. I don't know what's going on..
You've posioned him, fucked with his head so he can't move on to get better, that's part of the fucking problem you cause just by wanting to be in his life and which you are too self-delusional to not realize because it's uncomfortable and not what you want.
>I know he needs me in his life too. I know how much he loves me.. I've seen him literally cry over me at times
No, he needed you before, now just you being there makes things worse. He loves you but you're still toxic and you don't let him get over you by constant meddling and fucking with his mind.
>and I hate to see that but I know it would be better for us if we remained friends.
No, that's what you want to believe. You've came to us for advice and as observers without personal stakes and more obejctive than you we tell you it's bullshit and you make it worse, not better.
>I don't want to throw everything away over some stupid mistake.
Too late. You're past the point of no return. You were - and from what I see still are - stupid, immature and inconsiderate. You threw it away already when you toyed with him like how >>16334536 writes.
Now, accept the advice and/or stop making stupid excuses and go away.
OP probably vacated the premises, now we just have to wait how the she will be all sad and throw a pity-parade for herself instead of taking responsibility when the guy will kill or hurt himself further. Probably she will just think of it as another mistake she's not responsible for and won't let herself remember we warned her against it.
Self-delusional fucktards are the worst.
You don't get to decide when he's ready to talk to you again. It's probably going to take much longer than six months.
Seriously, just move on to another victim. you obviously don't love this guy or care about his feelings, why is it so important to have HIM as a friend? Why can't he have a moment of peace from your selfishness and your demands?
If you were TRYING to make him kill himself, you couldn't possibly do a better job than you already are.
This is my first time on adv and this thread was highly fucked up and I've never seen anyone more unself-aware or retarded in my fucking life in all these years on 4chsn. Either this fucking woman has to be seriously insane and fucked up or this is a good troll