>>16334664 Yes, a lot of them do. However there's a difference between quiet and socially retarded. If you're expecting girls who like quiet guys to just walk up to you and start talking to you, it'll never happen. You might even be a pretty good looking guy but girls are half attracted to personality, so unless you're overwhelmingly physically attractive, you still need to be able to strike up conversation / introduce yourself and what not.
I'm a pretty quiet decent-looking guy and I've managed to have a pretty good love / sex life based on the above theories.
>>16335602 How does whether girls like shy guys or not help? What the fuck do you want us to tell you? The fact is, you can either sit on your ass and hide behind your 'shy' label and be lonely, or you can do something about it.
>>16335595 you have to be willing to overcome your shyness for a girl that is worth it. plenty of girls like shy, quiet types, but they still want to be approached and spoken to. the case of a girl approaching you first is so rare that it shouldn't be considered a possibility.
they'll love being approached by you though, if they already know that you're typically very reserved.
I used to never talk in high school, literally, and I had a couple girls that obviously took an interest to me. Problem was I never talked to them unless they approached first. They seldom did that. It's about how you look.
I know girls that have liked the quiet and mysterious type - but they have friends, they do their own thing. They don't stand in the corner and expect others to engage them.
Ultimately, you have to exhibit some kind of willingness to have friends/keep company for a girl to be interested. Even one of my best friends, the quietest guy I know, has plenty of friends, so his wife approached him wondering why he wasn't pursuing her.
>>16335659 I'm not an idiot, I know that. But if you're out doing your own thing, they get paranoid and insecure that you're cheating on them and whatnot, or they make you feel guilty for spending time away from them. I mean look at this board; so many 'my girlfriend's spending time with someone who's not me, is she cheating??' threads. Shy guys won't socialise, and they won't let you socialise.
That's not what that anon is saying... he's calling out that some girls like it, and some don't. Regardless of whether or not girls like shy guys or not, it's not going to fix your problem. The answer to this is pretty clear; most girls don't like guys they have to put in all of the legwork on. No one thinks being shy is some wonderful thing, but.. ambiguously saying "yes, some girls like shy guys" is not going to help whatever issue is being posed here.
Okay, well, that's not the point being made here. Even if you're not outright using a pickup line or whatever, you still generally have to show interest in a girl as a guy. It's not going to help anyone if we blindly say that girls like shy guys, because it's not universal.
I'm guessing that by "hitting on girls/pickup line culture," you envision that there's some rift between absolute silence and dropping the "did you just fall from heaven" line. A well adjusted guy that's quiet should be able to discuss someone's interests and grow a mutual understanding about who they are. If you just wanna fuck? Nah, you're in bad shape if you're quiet.
this. Girls are very social creatures and can't see much further then banal social interaction, so if you're quiet its like you're not even there or even a person to them. They'll stone wall you by ignoring you, thats how females ostracise people socially. And they just won't remember your name or know who you are.
It's not like guys where you fit in to their peer group somewhere even if its on the bottom rung of the ladder. Like you may never talk to each other but they'll notice you, know of you and have some level of comradery. Girl's aren't like that, you don't exist to them if you're quiet and they aren't really intelligent enough to understand that there's a person over there who has a life and mind ticking away inside them even if they are queit. They can't share that empathy with men, you're just an object to them
im pretty confident about myself/my body, I just cant approach girls by myself. I also hate all the "pua" nonsense and dont want to be seen as that type of guy.
im well educated, considerate, and in pretty good shape since I hit the gym regularly. however, I just never got over being shy. I guess from being fat before I got used to being quiet, or not the center of attention. even though im a lot better now, I just can't be the type of guy to hit on girls at bars. even though im interested, I can't really pull the trigger.
it would be 100x easier with friends but solo? not happening. besides, being rejected (and that is inevitable) is a shot to your confidence, and I dont want that to affect my training.
You're starting to sound like your standard /r9k/ robot, but for the sake of helping...
Girls don't hate being hit on. It's flattering, in the right situation. They hate it when guys stumble up with zero confidence, not a bit of understanding of the situation, and start to ruin their day by pressing them for more interest than they care to give at the moment. A lot of guys have this "hit on her at a bookstore" idea, but let's be honest - no one wants to be bothered while they're out picking up a book, shopping for groceries, whatever.
Be quiet all you want, but pick your spots to talk to someone. Talk when it organically develops. If you're a super-confident dude, talk to girls in weird situations, but know that you're going to be shut down.
it's like kids, you have to act different around them and treat them differently. Its exactly the same except of course you never kids. Gotta be gentle, chatty, cheery, tease a bit, can't be serious at all.
>>16335860 Okay, women only like being approached by attractive men. Now what? Where does this leave you? Whining on 4chan, like every other guy like yourself? What do you even get out of whining? It's the way things are, whining isn't going to change anything
>>16335860 >unless you are very attractive, you are going to get shot down hard.
That's going to happen if you're attractive too dude. It might be a bit different for attractive guys but subjectively speaking an attractive guy and ugly guy will experience more or less the same thing. Women aren't like men where they see an attractive member of the opposite sex and instantly decide they like them. There are specific types of guys who they like and they have to feel a "spark" which won't happen with the vast majority of guys.
>>16335864 >but if george clooney says hello you better believe a girl will pay attention.
if a guy that good looking went up to talk to a girl who he doesn't know she's going to get intimidated and freak out and run away. It's not about being attractive in fact that's going to be detrimental when approaching girls you don't know because they'll get intimidated. Its about not making them feel intimidated. Seduction and attraction are too different things. A woman isn't going to fuck a guy she's attracted to if he doesn't seduce her.
I didnt even say I was ugly, i've had girls flirt with me before. I just suck at approaching them. personally I dont see what makes me special, being nice or in shape are pretty general traits that most people have. im not rich or famous, I lack something to distinguish me from my peers. other than I guess decent looks.
what makes me worth talking to, from a girls perspective? there are tons of nice guys, or attractive guys. why me? what makes me special?
I don't see why they would be interested, that's all.
this is how all men need to approach women. Women are intimidated by mean and assume the worst. They're also frivolous and whimsical and can't stand anything serious or intense. In real life 007 would be a forever alone virgin, thats a good way to think about it. You need the opposite of that personality, you need to be a frivolous retard around women, condascend to them like they're children. But just like you don't do that to children because you want to fuck them you don't do that with women to try and fuck them. Otherwise they'l sense that and find you creepy
well i'd like to understand how things work from a female perspective, and maybe change my approach. if I don't have a lot of money or my own place, is it even worth pursuing a girl? there are tons of people just like me.
so why would they give me a chance, given im a complete stranger? (in a bar type approach scenario)
you don't need to be special, you just need to be a guy. Only fame can distinguish you from any other guy. Every guy except famous actors and athletes are on the same level in terms of approaching women they don't know...as long as you hygenic and decently well dressed. Looks can't do much for you. In fact if you're really good looking and not on a screen women are going to think you're a serial killer
>>16335912 >so why would they give me a chance, given im a complete stranger? I wouldn't, because I'm preoccupied with guys who have the balls to approach me. I don't have time to deal with guys I don't even notice and who don't make an effort to be noticed
>>16335928 I've yet to come across a 'PUA' loser, and I'm beginning to question whether they actually exist outside the internet
>dont most girls assume guys that hit on girls in public are only looking for one thing? Depends on the situation. If a guy from class approaches me about getting together a study group, I assume he wants to get a study group together. I don't assume a guy wants sex just because he talks to me and I don't think with my proverbial penis, only guys make stupid assumptions like that.
>how do you distinguish that from someone who wants to be talked to? By not being autistic? It's pretty obvious when someone doesn't want to talk to people
>>16335928 >so how do you distinguish a normal guy, from the PUA loser trying to get in your pants?
don't act like one / be one. At least you already understand, that women don't want or like that shit and don't really want to be hit on. To talk to strangers you have to use icebreakers. Learn about sales, its basically how to talk to retards and make them comfortable with you 101. Which is excellent knowledge for talking to women. Just remember most people are stupid, uneducated and not actually very socially skilled themselves. The best way to expereince that for yourself is doing a sales job. It's all about managing and seducing normie tards
wouldnt you agree that the reception you get from a random encounter highly depends on your looks?
cause when I was out of shape noone was interested, and now that im fit girls are way more friendly. isn't it safe to say that how interesting they see me is directly related to how attractive they think I am?
I mean fuck, no point denying we are all superficial by nature.
well I'm telling you my knowledge and experiences already, if you really don't trust what I'm saying pay attention to how other guys interact with women. Then try it yourself and see if being serious and intense works (most guys are like that to a certain extent around other guys), or if making an effort to be more chatty, frivolous, putting on a smile etc works better. Just act like a dudebro tard around women its the only type of guy they can stand to be around. Like joey from friends thats the archetype of a ladies man...uintelligent, laid back funny guy who's never serious about anything and most of all never unhappy. Women won't accept any display of negative emotions from guys
yeh you'll notice the difference, and it is there. But for a guy who's attractive and more or less in shape all the time they don't know any different. So they would be getting a little bit better reception at first, but thats just at first. The interaction has to be maintained, women are fickle and live very much in the moment. And so because an attractive guy is still going to get a lot of rejection unless he's especially charismatic, he's only going to notice the rejection...
well thats not a very attractive attitude to have.
Anyway just get on with it and try it, you're going to have to go through a lot of awkwardness and make a lot of mistakes to get anywhere. You will come off as a creep a lot at first and its going to be horrible but if you're not too far on the autistic spectrum you'll have enough social awareness to see the cues and reactions and learn from them. You'll get better at interacting with people the more you do it. Its a skill like riding a bike, once you know how to do it you don't need to think about it. You can't do this shit by thinking about it thats why autists can never be socially successful, because they lack the part of the brain that gives you intuition and allows you to feel your way through social interactions.
>>16334664 >Do girls like quiet guys? Some girls do like quiet guys.
However, it has been my experience that almost everyone who describes himself as "quiet" goes way beyond the point where that term is appripruate. In the same way that "full figured" is dating-profile-speak for "hamplanet", so too is "quiet" dating-profile-speak for "basement-dweller".
>>16336067 >All initial attraction is physical, it doesnt matter how good I am at conversation or how nice I am as a person, if my looks arent doing it for them.
Initial yeh, but do you realise how much females live in the moment...of course they will be attracted when they see a guy who looks atttractive to them..but thats when they see him, what then? thats like a single instant.
You're much better off having the ability to keep a person interested while talking to them, then say, being able to make a good first impression for a second and then failing to impress them after that one second.
And by the way, very important point to keep in mind: women aren't going to know if they like you just by talking to you...you need to spend time with them. They don't know whether they like you or not...that is the best case scenario when you first meet them. Because the only alternative is that they know they don't like you. So what you need to do is just make them comfortable around you instead of making them know they don't like you. Then when they spend time with you, attraction will build (maybe).
Those couple posts at the top of the thread had it right. Plenty of girls will be into guys that aren't extremely extroverted, but you still have to make an effort to meet and approach them. This is something I'm struggling with currently now that I'm out of college. I have no clue how to meet women in the adult world...
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