Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Is it normal for me to go to a club/bar by myself?
Yes. Stop overthinking this.
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking
>Brandon or Female Brandon
There's a girl I used to hang out with who flirted with me a lot but shot me down when I tried to make a move, and then she got a boyfriend shortly after, so I stopped spending time with her.
Lately she's tried really hard to get me to come do things with her, told me how much she misses me, etc, which seems really odd to me. I said I didn't feel right doing it, since I'm a guy who is openly attracted to her and she's in a long-term relationship. Her only reply was "he trusts me."
How should I take this, and am I right to keep my distance? Even if she thinks it's OK, I feel like if I were her boyfriend, I'd feel pretty weird about her going off to hang out with a guy who tried to sleep with her a few years back.
I have a crush on my former ta (in uni), we say hi when we bump into each other and sometimes talk a bit. I know he is teaching a private lessons sort of class next semester, is it creepy if I take it? It is related to my major but I wouldn't take it if he wasn't teaching it
Oh goddd I don't knoe how to do this he must be like 8 years older than me
She is a slut for attention. She wants to feel validated by being near someone who wants to fuck her. She doesn't actually like you, she likes the attention you can give her. That's why she shot you down even though she flirted with you.
You show empathy. That's rare.
She may be trying to "get back at" her man for some slight or she may actually want to bang you. The reason is irrelevant. The point is that by spending time with her, you could potentially be a pawn in get scheme, if one exists. Are you ready for that?
I think some girls like the attention of being wanted, I've had people like this in the past you ask even just for lunch say yes, but never commit. I've even given an easy out and say" ah fuck I'm making this uncomfortable by asking, I should stop, no biggy if you don't wanna do lunch" get an answer like " well if you stop asking how Will we ever make it for lunch together" fucked up
This is pretty much exactly what I thought. She lead me on hardcore when we were hanging out, tons of lewd comments and texts, constantly inviting me over late at night, etc. I reacted very awkwardly, to be honest, because I've never had a girl come on that strong without just going straight to "let's fuck" and wasn't sure how to deal with it. When I was over one night and tried to initiate something, I got a "I don't sleep with people I'm not dating and I'm not looking for a relationship right now, sorry" speech, and after that kept my distance for a bit out of embarrassment as much as anything, and then a week later there was a "Now in a relationship" notice on FB from her and her current BF.
I'm not gonna be a pawn to get back at her guy, that's for sure, and I'm not going to fuck her while she's still in a relationship with him. I cheated with a girl on her BF once and felt horrible about it, was cheated on by my GF, in my last relationship and I know how fucked up it is. She's very attractive and pretty cool, and I'll happily fuck her brains out if she breaks up with him and then comes to me, but I won't ever be the guy some girl cheats with again.
What's the proper way to handle a situation where I'm very attracted to a female friend?
I feel like I've tried pretty much every option, and pretty much none of them have ever worked out. I've tried bottling it up, I've tried getting to know them and then saying something, I've tried just coming out with it very early in the friendship, all of it has failed.
Everybody always gives the advice to meet and get to know girls before making a move, but this never works for me. Every time I've slept with or dated a girl, it was the result of making intentions clear right off the bat.
i'm dating a girl and she's mentioned her friend (and her boyfriend) have been using sites like okcupid, plentyoffish, etc to solicit people into threesomes or similar non-monogamous style relationships
she's talked about this enough times that i'm starting to think it's something she wants to try. is there a good way to bring that up or is that playing with fire?
When she brings it up again, smile and casually say that it sounds interesting, has she ever done something like that before? Is she into that sort of thing? If she wants to, the conversarion will go towards that, if she doesnt want to, then you were just being curious
That's actually a tough one. I think it stands above friendship and best friendship as a honest desire to totally devote yourself to one person, and to restructure both your lives into one thing; your future.
Be romantic by loving a person, being kind, favoring them. Doing for them what you wouldn't do for anyone else. That's my best guess.
Also kiss them a lot.
Could you date someone that was a downgrade from your ex in your opinion?
For guys, is going from a girl with big tits to a petite flat girl difficult?
For girls, is going from a guy who was a 8.5-9/10 to a 7/10-7.5/10 even possible?
How important is it that your partner have certain features?
Asking cause my new gf is about as cute as my ex but she is flat as shit and I don't really know what I feel about this. Does it mean I'm not over my ex yet?
I actually prefer a flat chest to big tits, but anyway...
I don't compare from one to the next. I'm either attracted or I'm not. I can't put a finger on certain features but I know good looks (for me) when I see them.
If you're hung up on body over the place of this girl in your life, you very clearly went way too fast into a relationship. I imagine you're one of those hip young kids who doesn't know what dating actually is, and thinks that it's just another word for bf/gf. Protip: you don't commit to looks, you commit to what you're getting for your life.
A girl I broke up with a few months ago won't respond to any of my messages. I want to be friends again. There was no bad blood between us, she just has commitment problems. Why won't she talk to me? :(
I ask cause there was a thread yesterday about a guy with an asexual gf. Probably bait, but someone said sexual intimacy and romance don't have to be mutually inclusive.
I always thought romance was pretty much everything leading to sexual intimacy was romance. Everything that caused the relationship to progress in a sexual direction. Then I realized, I've never been romantic. I'm not even sure what romance is. That shit is more obscure than love imo. Love, we define ourselves whereas romance is defined by the recipient. You pretty much have to be on the same wavelength. Or maybe I'm overthinking it.
Anyway, thanks for the advice.
I literally don't care about looks as long as you're at least 6/10. I am attractive and have been with men that looked nothing special and men who were art models.
Its not a downgrade if I like being around them as much as I liked being around a previous person I've dated.
Are you dumb shit? Would you want to be contacted by someone you really liked who broke up with you? Wanting to be friends? Its a painful reminder of rejection. Oh uoure not good enough to be my gf but you can be my friend instead.
What the hell is wrong with you that you keep trying to get back into her life
Depends on what you mean by improvements. They're both in college. Both smart. Both cute. I guess the only "downgrade" is the new girl is a flat Asian.
It's not a fascination.. They're fucking amazing. Regardless my current gf is the usual flat Asian, and its funny, cause I always wanted an Asian gf, but after my ex and her perfect tits-my preferences changed.
I am just a young inexperienced fuck who fell in love with a girl a few years ago, who happened to have nice tits, and we broke up this summer and I'm having a hard time moving on STILL. Her body is one thing, but just being able to get close to someone else is hard. It took a lot to finally decide to get back on the scene. I don't want a bunch of sluts, I prefer a meaningful relationship with a single girl for a long time but I'm afraid my past relationship has messed up how I view women.
Maybe I just can't get over the fact some other guy is gonna be fucking those tits ..
I really would love this mindset. I'm not exactly picky, just wondering how people look at their new beau vs their ex. And if they look for the same qualities that their ex specifically had.
Your past relationship didn't screw up your view. Your inexperience has screwed up your view. You've been off the market for years. You're probably just about a young adult now, right at the age where you could date for all the right reasons, and you've missed all the years where you could have learned how. Now you're dating like you did when you were 15:
>Is she hot?
>Seriously bro, is she hot?
You want a long term relationship? Great. Then you need to learn how to rule girls in or rule girls out based on a fair bit of time spent with them in your life. You ask yourself up front if you're attracted to her. The rest is a slow, deeper process.
If you broke up during the summer, had a hard time moving on and are already in a relationship, you blew right over dating. Now the only substance you have is enjoying the company and liking her body, so of course you're starting to nitpick her body.
Back the train up and date her. Do shit with her. Do shit she likes with her. Do stuff together which neither of you have ever done. Find out whether you got a kickass life companion whose modest tits will never go saggy.
Yeah, but, she was cool as fuck too. She was more than just a pair of tits. I'm only focusing on the tits because the tits is so far the only real downgrade. They're both cool, kind, sweet, loving girls. One is just less physically endowed.
Hmm. I don't really think like that. I don't go looking for people with specific things in mind. I dont hold them up to previous exs. It feels weird looking for someone that fits a specific mold. It feels like I'm ordering a factory robot or something
Its more like I will notice.something incompatible between us. Like maybe hes not looking for anything serious. Or we have no chemistry. Etc
Everyone I have been with are different from each other. I guess most of them have dark hair but that's about the only similar thing I can think of. If you asked me what my ideal man would be, I don't have an answer. I guess it would be, nice? Who can keep up with me? Thats about it
>Hey, I was wondering if you'd like to grab a late lunch after class on Wednesday with me?
H-how is that?
Class gets out at 3:45
Is that weird or ainything?
What do you think?
I've been texting this girl regularly for 4-5 days
Just ask her in class on Wednesday. If she says she already ate, say "Me too." ("I'm not hungry" = "Neither am I.") Both of those then turn into a suggestion for a dessert or something. Or, best case, she accepts straightaway and you have food.
what reason would a girl have to just stop talking to a guy at all.
Like, this happen to me with a girl I almost went out with, we just fooled around, were good friends, and one day texted her saying
>if you have the time I want to talk about us in person
and the girl never talked to me again, like ever, whenever I see her around uni, she looks at me and then looks away.
I suspect her best friend from back home was behind this.
Big boingy boobs are heavenly to watch and rest your head on
I see. I guess I have a lot of maturing to do. My inexperience is really annoying. I fall for girls much too quickly on top of that, and, maybe I should keep my options wide instead of limiting myself? I personally feel odd about dating multiple girls, even if I'm committed to none on a bf/gf level
So I really will never get closure with this eh?
I'm almost certain a girl likes me. She's said before "she knows what she wants" (in context clearly referring to our immediate relationship) but she wants to know "what I want". I'm petrified of rejection to the extent that she has to initiate a lot of the personal interaction between us. I've openly spoken to her about this partially in the hope that she'd then take the initiative and make the move, though this hasn't been the case yet and this fact has further fuelled my insecurity about rejection as it makes me question whether she really does like me, etc. Another issue is I'm not even sure what relationship I want, but asking "what do you want, because I don't really mind if we stay friends, become FWBs or enter a proper relationship" seems insensitive esp if she does have feelings for me
I should've clarified, there's no particular "she" at the moment, I'm just asking in general because I've been in similar situations a number of times throughout my life.
There's this cute girl on my bus and she's in a grade lower than me but we're both in high-school and i don't know her all to well and im really awkward what do i do i can just ask her out can i?
I'll admit that I've never experienced "big boingy," only big, heavy, shapeless and saggy. I'll take a flat chest over that any day.
But really, I like a happy medium. Big enough that they're there, but small enough to resist gravity, have a nice shape, and look good under normal clothes. (My ex was a 32DD and everything either looked frumpy as hell on her, was strained to the point or near breakage, or made her look really lewd.)
I get what you're saying, but I think "dating" is exactly what they think it is, what you mean is a serious relationship, which generally comes after casually dating somebody.
I'm actually not against a downgrade personally. My ex was a solid 9 or better in terms of appearance (but maybe a 3 in personality), and it was always hard not to feel a bit inadequate next to her, even though I'm a solid 7 who could be an 8 if I worked out a lot more.
I feel pretty much the same way, too. There are physical aspects that will make me unattracted to somebody (obesity, horrible skin, unforgivable ugliness, etc) but beyond that I'm much more interested in personality and other aspects of them than just pure appearance. I know a girl, for example, who people would probably say is a 4 or 5 if I showed them a photo, but in person I find her really cute, because of the way she talks, her expressions, body language, etc.
That's a pretty fast undergrad career for the guy.
I assume you mean a new relationship. No. It's not worth the risk to your reputation, especially as you potentially transition into the workforce.
...Yeah, I get mistaken for a high school senior every now and then too.
Anyways, I'm the guy. I get along with the girl great. She turns 18 soon. She's trying to convince me that there's nothing wrong with the age gap (and she's right). But I'm hesitant because we are at different phases in life.
Will she graduate high school before you're out of college?
It doesn't seem that bad to me if you're a 21/22 year old grad and you can say that your GF is a 19/20 year old college student.
But yes, I'd feel weird about the different phases in life. The age gap is small and in a year the high school thing won't be an issue, but the fact that you're in very different places right now may well be one.
Texted a girl (triple, ending with)
"Sorry, I don't mean to pressure you. It's just, I have a huge crush on you and I really want to get to know you better I don't want to make a mistake and scare you away"
In context, I was asking her what would be the best place for us to meet when she declined us meeting at her house
On a scale of delete her number to drop the class we have together, how fucked am I? She hasn't responded for 30 mins, sure its 1am but she probably hates me now? We were texting having a good chat for 6 hours before this
Yeah, I understand man - you and I are on the same page. I'm just trying to see if I'm actually being "weird" (she said I was).
It depends on whether I decide to push a class off to the summer or not, but no -- I'll be walking at my college graduation when she's walking at her high school graduation.
One step worse than "delete her number." By that I mean give her some space, too. People don't talk that way Anon. You started with an apology, told her something about your feelings that she really can't do anything about, gave a vague offer and then shared some insecurities which she also can't do anything about. It's just feels diarrhea. Especially after just trying to hang out with her at her house, that's way too much of stuff that she can't do anything about in the first place.
In the future keep your anxieties to yourself and take things slow. Start with casual fun activities in public settings and set a happy, funny mood. That's a good starting point. Not the crushes and the preemptive apologies.
You're already at
with that mess that she isn't replying to, and you're thinking of texting even more?
Please stop. You don't know what you're doing and it's not fair to make things this bad on yourself.
>Could you date someone that was a downgrade from your ex in your opinion?
Looks wise? Easily, if we have a good connection.
>For guys, is going from a girl with big tits to a petite flat girl difficult?
Maybe a bit, but it helps if she has a nice ass
I really don't think it's bad, despite the education gap your age gap is only 2 years, and you can wait to bone her until she's legal. When I was in high school pretty much every girl I knew was dating a college guy.
I guess I'm pretty much alone in feeling that way, though. IMO as long as she's not still a high school student when you're a graduate, it's not a big deal since the age gap is so small. Nobody's gonna think you're really weird for being a 20 year old dating a 18 year old.
The awkwardness will fade much faster if you just give her lots of space. It's fine if she wants to talk to you but otherwise I think it's best if you focus on the classwork. Everything can be fine if you just stick with the "classmates" level.
A girl I'm acquainted with is a relatively new cosplayer. I've only met her a few times in person and talked with her on FB messenger a few others, but she gave me her number over FB the last time we agreed to meet up and say hi at a con. Recently she did a relatively skimpy costume that she spent a lot of time at the gym getting ready for.
I saw her in it at a con in July, and then that evening, I was pretty buzzed and saw her make a facebook post about how fat and shitty she felt in it. I decided in response to text her that I thought she looked really hot in it.
A few days later, she made a FB post saying that a number she didn't have in her phone because she'd lost her old one recently (which was true, she'd posted about it a bunch before the con) had sent her a message like that. I messaged her to say that it was me, and her reply was something to the effect of "thanks, but usually you complement a girls costume or something first." Instead of just doing that, I replied with something to the effect of "I get it, but I'm kind of sick of playing games with people and if I think somebody's attractive, I'll tell them, especially if they seem to be feeling down about it."
We talked a bunch after that, but about other random stuff (costume plans and how to make a pretty tricky mechanical thing for one) and it was pretty awkward. We haven't spoken since.
Did I make a total ass of myself? She's somebody I find quite attractive and cool but she's also like 7 years younger than me (I'm 29 and I think she's 23) and I've never considered her a real potential date, so I didn't have much to lose, but I'm still curious how badly I fucked up so I don't do it again.
I was rejected by a girl that I'm somewhat good friends with, we're on good terms and we've joked around pretty often. She's a very sweet girl.
We mostly talked through circumstances aka group projects, chance meetings, comments on funny/weird things at school, etc. I asked her out early on and she rejected me pretty softly. Couple days later and we both are acting like nothing happened. Is this how it's supposed to be? Still interested in her at the moment.
Be specific by "pretty softly"
What were you expecting? For the both of you to be embarrassed messes and never be able to look each other in the eye?
Are you ok with being just friends?
She sounds immature if she posts publicly about that to get "omg creep stranger hitting on you how did he get your number who could he be!!?" pity replies.
The etiquette is to text back saying you swapped your phone and asking who it is. She didn't.
She posts about her body and then doesn't like comments about her body. She plays mind games. Ditch the child.
I'll be frank. I'm a 26 year old virgin. I'm a little intimidated by sexual or any sort of physical contact.
I keep seeing shit how it's normal for people to fuck or at least do oral on the first date.
I'm been on a few dates and now I can't help but feel like they were expecting me to be aggressive in that regard.
Was I supposed to? Naturally, I feel like I should trust a person before getting naked in front of them. But modern times seems to imply that casual sex is the norm.
Just be chill, dude.
Been in your position before. You ugly as fuck.
Enjoy her company as a friend.
Don't consider her potential girlfriend.
Ask yourself, if she were a guy, would you hang? If no, then tell her to fuck off. If yes, then chill.
Never get wrapped up into girl bullshit. If they say no to a date, immediately without hesitation treat them like guys.
OK, I looked up the chat log and she didn't post about it, I saw her post something unrelated, messaged about that, and then said "by the way that was me, sorry I was drunk and saw your FB post and wanted to say something."
She replied and said "maybe you should put your phone away when you drink, but thanks, I was really shy about wearing that costume on the first day."
I replied with a bunch of spaghetti garbage and called her really cute apparently (cue me curling up in a dark corner and screaming), and then she said "thanks (insert bunch of smiley faces). I dunno if you want advice from me about girls, but usually you should complement them on their effort or hard work before their appearance, it's less awkward for guys that way."
I came back to that with the thing I mentioned earlier, about how this community is filled with beta orbiter types and I make an effort not to be one and just say what I think, and didn't get a reply, so I changed the subject and we kept talking about other stuff.
>A year ago
>Into this girl I volunteer with in a university club >From what I can tell she's into me
>Mutual friend tells me she was asking about me, he thinks she's into me too.
>Out of nowhere one day tells me she thinks this other guy in the club is hot, I just don't even respond
>She goes home for summer.
>Comes back beginning of September and things are going well, she seems to be as receptive to me as usual.
>I finally bring up the courage to ask her out, she says yes
>day of the date she cancels on me, says she has to study for a midterm the next day.
I should also add, during all of this she seems to flip flop between being all over me one day to practically ignoring me the next. After she cancelled on me because I've just been so stressed with school and work lately I've kind of just given up, seeing and working with her was all I ever had to look forward to. I just wonder, does it sound like she's done with me? And why the fuck did she make that comment to me about some other guy? Why do women do this?
I have never ever believed a guy who directly said "BTW if your answer is no you can say no!" Every single one of them were very sad and insecure and it obviously destroyed them whenever I even gave them soft no's (e.g. I can't today, maybe next week)
I do not find it a comforting phrase, it makes me feel backed into a corner
I mentioned this in another thread, but might as well ask it here.
Why do the women I encounter seem to be so interested in listening to me talk about myself? I've had some fun adventures, but they're not that cool, and I don't really like rambling on about them. I try to change the subject or ask them things, though, and they just keep trying to get me to talk about myself more instead.
I refuse to believe that I'm that interesting, and most of the time, this involves girls that are in relationships with other guys or who have otherwise made it clear that they're not interested in me, so the obvious answer that they're into me can't be true. WTF?
Different anon here, but this makes me wonder, what's the right way to convey that you really don't care if she says no?
Like, I know several girls that are cute and cool and that I'd consider dating, but I have no particular attachment to them. I guess just ask normally and casually with nothing extra?
I'd be pretty uncomfortable being her, tbh. That was a kind way of her saying, "I felt like you're viewing me as a piece of meat when I wanted to show off something I worked really hard on." I've done cosplay. The community is really controversial about skimpy outfits. She's already on edge about people commenting about her body, how revealing it is, etc.
She said she didn't want you talking about it, you said "but it's what I was thinking so I'm gonna talk about it." She essentially said "Have a filter"
I get that you're trying to be clear with your intentions, but you shouldn't use it to justify commenting on her body.
>I guess just ask normally and casually with nothing extra?
Yes, exactly. The more you tack on, the more obvious it is that you're thinking about it, pining about it, and anxious about why the answer will be.
Of course this is no guarantee that she'll be straight with you. A girl who wants to avoid rejecting anyone will avoid it at all costs, regardless of what you do.
Not a woman but I will say I much prefer when the girls I talk to tell stories about themselves. I'm an uninteresting fuck, all I know is soccer and movies, so any chance I have to not talk and still seem engaged is perfect. So maybe they just like being in that kind of position, being able to engage with you without putting in much work.
my experiences with men have oftentimes involved me being idealized and pigeonholed into a role that i wasn't comfortable being in.
why does this happen? is this just a sign of immaturity in the men i've dated? is it possible to find a man who accepts me for who i am, not for an idea or image of who i am?
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense, and I've felt stupid about doing since it happened. At the time, I was trying to say something nice in direct response to her saying she felt bad about her body, but I always seem to do or say things in the worst and stupidest way possible when it comes to women.
Guy here, are most girls OK when a guy 5-10 years older than them tries to hit on them or ask them out? (assuming they're single, over the age of consent, and the guy takes decent care of himself).
Or is this just creepy.
Ah, I see what you're saying. Yeah, that was probably the stupidest part of the whole thing, and it's a mistake I've made with people multiple times. It's shit like this that makes me just want to give up on women, I'm just not cut out for it...
By the way, I haven't talked to her since then, I assume I should probably keep it that way, right?
Depends. I'm 20 and I wouldn't blink at a 5 year difference. 10 I would love since I like age gaps but that's the territory where some of her peers/family might raise an eyebrow. But it's not unheard of.
Though there is huge development between 18 and 20. Me at 18 with a 28 year old? No way in hell. But now that's more feasible. I've graduated highschool and adulted for a while. I've learned an insane amount.
But what's the trick? Divide your age by two and add seven? That's your youngest you should go?
I need more answers to this questions, last thread was just a little helpful
Have you already been with a foreigner before ? Do you prefer them ? What you didnt like about him/her ? What you liked ? Does the cultural difference's a huge deal ?
Im thinking about emigrating to Australia for a year, so i was wondering if i'd get more/less chance with girls over here...
>For girls, is going from a guy who was a 8.5-9/10 to a 7/10-7.5/10 even possible?
What, just a physical downgrade? That's absolutely fine, chances are their personality more than makes up for it
A best friend I get to have sex with
Why not just get coffee at that time?
I don't fucking know
Good for them? Just beware of being at different stages in your life
If I gave you my number for school related things and you're texting me about things that aren't related to school, it's pretty obvious
I don't understand. What's the problem?
Different people go at different paces. I'd think it was a little weird if you hadn't kissed after a few dates though
Basically the same answer as the first question ITT. It's easier than saying no
I don't understand what your problem is. Are you complaining that girls are paying attention to you?
5 is pushing it, 10 is too much
Why do you keep posting this question?
Female here, and everything you've said sounds like typical female games to me. From saying the club guy was hot (to gauge your reaction) to being all hot and cold with you. I personally find that kinda of crap really juvenile, and obviously it's not fun for you either.
You could ask her out one more time, ask her if she wants to try again for the first date since she cancelled last minute. This is if you're still really into her (which it sounds like you are). But be aware she might pull this on you again.
If you're willing to take the chance just to see if it was a one time thing and you want to put up with someone who is playing games, then go for it. But if she is going to bail on you again I'd just leave it at that and find someone who will be more mature and actually go out with you the first time they agree to it. Someone who can show you they do like you, and not try to tease you and make you jealous by commenting on other guys' hotness (at least that's what I'm thinking she was doing).
>why do you keep posting this question ?
Because almost nobody answered and im pretty curious to know about people experience with foreigners since its one of my fantasy to have a gf from a different culture/country
Im someone else
I'll tell you I didn't answer because I've never dated a foreign guy. You're asking about a niche thing, but it also differs wildly. In my highschool everyone went crazy over the Brazilian boy, while the Indian boy was mostly ignored. That's in west coast usa.
You want to know how Australian girls react to what kind of foreigner? Where are you from?
my best friend's boyfriend is a total scumbag
he barely pays his half of the bills and contributes nothing towards the food/maintenance cost of their apartment. he's always bumming money from her. he regularly skips work because he doesn't put enough in his tank when he gets paid to make the drive even though he works 45 minutes away (and he refuses to get a job closer to home because he's convinced this job is going to open doors for him). their toilet has been broken for months and he's done nothing to fix it. he complains whenever the cat shits on the carpet and then tells her it's her cat so it's her problem. he leaves his trash everywhere. on his days off he sits on his ass and plays video games literally all day while on her days off she runs errands, does their laundry, and cleans. he doesn't cook for himself. he doesn't do a fucking thing for himself.
he's got her convinced that they're gonna be together forever and he's gonna marry her one day and she's totally set that he's the one. they're both 25 and he's her second boyfriend ever.
ever since they moved in together our relationship has gone down hill. whenever we go out she brings him with. she won't do anything without him- one time i invited her out to dinner and she declined because she had to go home and cook for him, otherwise he wouldn't eat. she makes excuses for him all the time even though she regularly complains that he's a mooch.
i feel like i'm losing my best friend. she's a wonderful, fun, kind, intelligent, funny girl but she has no self esteem so i can't imagine her ever leaving him. i've tried to talk to her about standing up for herself in her relationship but she doesn't.
what the fuck do i do?
Why? Why do you ask? Why are you curious? Why are you so fixated on this question? We aren't survey takers, we're advice givers. Where's your problem? What's your advice you need?
Keep saying she deserves better and invite her out and specifically say you don't want him there.
In the end, she has total control of her life. You have to let her make her own stupid mistakes.
Why not ? That's just something i find interesting, i dont need advice, i just need some experience !
I said it before its one of my fantasy, i like travelling a lot, so i assume when you're with a foreigner, you're still travelling because of the cultural differences and stuff...
But if you think my question is dumb i can stop asking :/
I'm twenty-six. I've met them at school when I went, work, on the bus once, at a coffee shop three times, in the library, online, at a bar, through friends. I'm not depressed or constantly morose, either.
Doesn't sound like you know each other well enough before you start dating to me then. That might be the problem - they don't know you well enough to know whether they actually want to be in a relationship, and then a month or two down the line they realise they don't.
It's just repetitive. You don't really rephrase it much. A lot of us are regulars here. You're just getting the same answers. It's also not an advice thing. We're fine giving opinions here and there but you're asking over and over for something that this board is not designed for.
But really, why do you find it interesting? If you want to fantasize about your potential experiences you could ask about opinions on French men, but you're being general. Too general. It's not really a question you can give a sweeping answer to. Cultures vary so much. I don't have an opinion on the entirety of the world that isn't my back yard.
it's really hard to separate her from him because she's really depressed (and him being a tool isn't helping) so she like desperately clings to him. it's a really unhealthy codependent relationship and while yes she's an adult and can make her own decisions i feel totally lost. she's my best friend and she's in a really shitty spot. it's really hard to watch someone you love being taken advantage like this.
It sucks but there's only so much you can do. Tell her to get to a therapist, phone her mom, but she needs to realize what's happening.
Definitely use the 'A word' with her- she is in an abusive relationship. Give her phone numbers to hotlines for women and for the depressed. But you can lead this horse to water and watch her die of dehydration.
I'm sorry you have to see this.
how ugly is a missing lower front tooth on a guy. i have to pull one cause the orthodontist fucked mine and it hurts and im a poor fag that doesnt want to get braces again. aside from the the rest of my teeth are in spectacular condition
For me, romantic feelings are different from (romantic) love or friendship/affection. Love itself isn't a "pretty" feeling, it's actually rather robust, which is for the best because while your partner having violent food poisoning might kill their romantic appeal for a while, it won't kill your love for them.
To me romance is a certain tenderness, a combination of feeling awe for someone and feeling endeared by them and wanting to protect them. And it is a feeling that you want to share, you want to indulge in, lavish in to the point where it would make other people want to look away.
So for me romance is basically to pay attention to that feeling and celebrate it together. Vocalizing it when something (s)he does moves you, even if it's as minor as the light hitting them a certain way. Being able to do all that stuff like lying face to face just gazing in each other's eyes and saying mushy stuff without a shred of irony, without picturing what it would look like to others, simply engaging in the feeling and enjoying it together. Going out of your way to make sure that they feel as charming, inspirational and lovable as they appear to be to you.
Of course there are non-traditional things that in effect still are romantic, but if you're talking stereotypical romance, for me it's this.
This is a stupid and immature way of looking at things. For one thing conventional attractiveness and personal attraction do not necessarily align at all. What if person 1 is a 9 in society's eyes, but person 2 is physically completely your type and reminds you of your childhood crush and has a natural smell that instantly makes you wet? I'm not one of those attraction is 100% subjective folks, but there definitely is a huge subjective element. People are not rational in general and in emotional affairs they are less rational still, you respond to so many little things.
Having said that I can see that it takes a moment to switch mindsets, especially if you were used to playing around with big tits a lot and now are kind of at a loss with what to do with sex. But rather than not being over your ex, I think if it bothers you a whole lot (and in general the way you talk about this girl in a kind of calculating manner) makes it sound like you don't have serious feelings (yet) for your new girlfriend.
Ten years is too much for me. Not because it is necessarily creepy, but because I'm dead set on having a stable family some day. I am not interested in a thirty year old man who feels no desire to settle down yet, and simultaneously I don't feel ready at all to be the mother I hope to be, so that would just never work out. Also not that interested in dating someone when it's that obvious there's not the faintest chance of it working out long term.
Having said that, it sounds like you go specifically for young girls ("21 max") rather than also trying younger girls, and a woman would have to be virtually braindead to not be alarmed by that. Who wants to be with a man who thinks you'll be useless when you're no longer twenty? Or who is only interested in girls young enough to impress with things that are not impressive at all? All the reasons for only wanting girls significantly younger are pretty fucking shady.
Because she couldn't be comfortable anymore and was faced with the unpleasant realization that she needed to get her shit together. Being loved makes people unambitious, they are already loved for who they are.
This is pretty standard practice after a break up. Though I'd wager that this personality change is not as dramatic as it seems, it's hard to actually change the way you are in a major way, that's not a short term impulse project.
the reason guys not interested in settling down go for younger girls, is because they arent going to hound them to settle down and have kids.
thats the whole point. 30 year old girls can look good, it isnt about looks.
Maybe it's just where I live, but a twenty five year old here would be a rare exception to be so serious about that on the short term - and it's kind of shitty but true, this is ten times more the case for college educated women. Sure there are girls who get kids when they are in their early twenties, but they are typically a lot closer to "white trash".
I understand this will vary from region to region but seriously, a twenty three year old would hound him to settle down and start making babies?
Also just saw that I forgot to include that but as long as it was a smaller difference (like indeed five years) and I felt like he did not like me because of my age, it would be fine.
I see what you are saying, I guess part of it definitely comes down to personality differences to, but I have one friend in particular this kind of pertains to-do and knowing her fairly well and seeing how she is around most other people, I never assumed she would have a hard time saying no to me just for lunch. The only reason the saying no is ok to her is that if someone said that to me, and I really didn't want to, I'd just say no. Also, in the one I said where she says " how Will we ever get together for lunch if you stop asking" why tack that on, isn't that classic mixed signal?
Met her a year ago. We started talking, got to know each other and things progressed from there. We soon began dating and things
were going really well. Hang out most days, talk everyday and seem to have a really good relationship. I was there for her through her depression, self harm and family problems.
In March a friend of her's told me that my girlfriend (while at a party with her and two other guys) had performed oral sex on one of them. My gf denied this and I gave her the benefit of the doubt. There was later conversations
where she would say she couldn't remember due to being drunk and that at most it was a "drunken kiss" and that she told them all "no"
I found out in June she slept with another guy behind my back in April. Confronted her, she didn't seem remorseful, made excuses (e.g drunk) etc. I cut her off. A week later she contacted me and cried, apologized over and over and told me she made a big mistake. Stupidly, I forgave her.
2 weeks later she tells me that she doesn't think it's working and reluctantly I agree to remain friends. She'd still call me everyday,
text and we'd even hangout. I guess I did this cos I did love her and was clinging onto the hopes of us getting back together. We we're even fwb on and off.
She was recently diagnosed with BPD after being admitted into the hospital for self harm. I have been there for her through everything since I met her. I love her but it's killing me remaining friends with her. I tried to end things the other day, gave her an explanation and even a chance to get back together instead
of that resort but she said she couldn't. Soon as I sent my goodbye text she called me up, cried, tried to blame me and I felt guilty
so I told her to forget what I suggested.
Can't move forward while she seems to be and she's made new friends etc and tells me about her plans (me not included).
What do I do? :/ She said she wants to be with me and that she isn't interested in anyone else
How much are you supposed to do on a date? Is it still appropriate after going out a few times to do one thing only and then call it quits?
I've been going out weekly with this girl for about a month now. Thing is, she has a curfew and both our places are off-limits, so that rules out a lot of evening time together. Then there isn't much to do in the area and we're both as good as broke. The list in the OP is as good as useless in this situation, I'm afraid.
Next week we're going out to watch a movie together, but I'm kind of conflicted if that's "enough" for our day together. We've been looking forward to this film, but what else can I do to spice up the day?
Does she know you're broke? If so, it's not a problem. She's smart enough to realize neither of you have the money or means to do much. She obviously likes you, and those first several months are the most passionate. A girl who likes you would go wading through a pig pen if it meant she got to spend time with you. By the 6 month mark you had best have your shit together, though. Relationships cost money and rely on a degree of independence. figure your shit out so she doesn't get bored of you.
Guys, what could make you go from confident around a girl to very shy?
A guy I like used to start conversations with me and be confident around me, but now he acts quite shy and I find him looking away quickly when I look at him and starting conversations with me less easily (though he does continue the conversation quite happily when I initiate).
Also, how quickly does a small crush develop into an intense crush for y'all?
I don't know if yall can help me or not. But basically my gf asked me if I would like to "drive for her" this morning. I assume she meant that she wanted me to drive her to work because she had to be at work at noon today but I wasn't sure so I replied "drive for you?" Expecting her to clear things up for sure. Also I thought it was odd because she had to go work at a place more than an hour away from my house today. That would be a lot of driving for me. I'm concerned she may have been thinking I was acting annoyed because I never received a response back from her.
Also, am I being unreasonable for not wanting to drive her to work when it would have probably been a good 4-5 hours of driving total for me even though I had the day off?
Hi, people, I need your help again.
Okay, I did it! I asked her if she and I would go to Starbucks for some chit-chat and shit. At first, she said no to today, but she said 'Maybe' with a smile for Friday. I don't know whether or not I got rejected, but I feel so relieved getting that out of my system.
Did I do well, or did I fail? Also, keep in mind, I don't even orbit her, she actually wishes to talk to me on most instances.
I didn't stutter, I didn't look away when talking to her, and she didn't really hesitate to give me an answer.
>So for me romance is basically to pay attention to that feeling and celebrate it together. Vocalizing it when something (s)he does moves you, even if it's as minor as the light hitting them a certain way. Being able to do all that stuff like lying face to face just gazing in each other's eyes and saying mushy stuff without a shred of irony, without picturing what it would look like to others, simply engaging in the feeling and enjoying it together. Going out of your way to make sure that they feel as charming, inspirational and lovable as they appear to be to you.
I want to believe this exists but my own horrible relationships and years of reading those of people here have convinced me doing this just means you'll be cucked and humiliated for being an emotional fag
Girls, is (lack of) text contact a good indicator of (lost) interest?
I'm dating this girl and we have our next date planned already. Back when we ran into each other daily, she texted me daily. When we had a few weeks off and I left for my hometown, I kind of smothered her with frequent texts filled with forced conversation and bad jokes. Her responses got less enthusiastic and frequent with every text, until she just sent "pff" and called it a day.
It's been a few days since then. I realized my fuckup and no longer touched my phone since, but she didn't bother renewing contact herself either.
Is this a big deal? Should I worry that I've fucked myself over here and made her eyes roll into orbit? Can I still salvage her opinion of me?
Any girls with Aspergers out there?
I've been kind of touchy with an aspie girl. Just natural touch, that sort of thing. We're going out, but implicitly taking it very slow. She told me once that she hates it when people randomly touch her. When I did it, she has zero response. Doesn't reciprocate, turn aggressive or get the hell away from me. Perhaps it's nothing special because I'm not just any stranger to her, but it's kind of bugging me if it isn't wrong what I'm doing to her.
Should I bring it up next time I see her, ask if it bothers her? Should I back off and wait until she grows close enough to do it herself? Or should I continue as I always did and act natural?
Me and him met around a year ago now. We were really close as friends first and then things progressed and we got together. He was there for me through so much, my depression, self harm and other problems I was facing at the time. I didn't always treat him properly, sometimes took my problems out on him and I know that.
A few months ago when I was still with him I went out with this guy one night drinking and I ended up sleeping with him. It wasn't intentional, it just happened but I kept it from him because I didn't want to hurt him. Regardless, he found out a month or so later but managed to forgive me.
I ended up telling him that it wasn't working though and told him I just wanted to be friends for the time being (2 weeks after he forgave me).
Last night he texted me and gave me shit for talking to one of my ex's. Brought up the cheating and we argued, called each other names and he then blocked me from everything.
He did try to cut off contact with me a few days ago and told me that it was too hard for him to remain friends because it was preventing him from moving on, but I told him that I was only interested in him but I wanted to focus on myself first, and then me and him could talk about "us".
why do girls lose interest or play games with guys so much.
I had girls ask for my phone # or give me theirs and get all over me but they never call or give me excuses when I ask them out.
Is it part of the girl code? or are they expecting too much from me.
>inb4 ignored and no (you)s
As I failed asking a thread earlier i'll try here:
>sup adv I need your help. I'm gonna be hooking up with a girl at her place soon. I wanted some advice on experiences you guys have had with hookups that made them interesting. Like roleplay, strip games,getting drunk, or being clever and exciting than just straight up fucking. I really want this to be special in a sense than just an average hookup and build a bit tension to get her going. Any stories or ideas very welcomed especially from you grills thanks!
>Guys, what could make you go from confident around a girl to very shy?
I can't say I really do this, but I do know someone who's exactly this way, and in his case, it's just that he's all talk and has no real game to back it up.
He's perfectly fine if he's talking to a random girl that he thinks he has no chance with, but as soon as he gets put in a spot where he thinks he might have a chance or has to take action, he starts to overthink and paralyzes himself because he doesn't want to fuck it a up, and loses all ability to not be a spaz.
With guys, a lot of times during the earlier years, when it comes to confidence, it's basically "fake it 'til you make it". He's still not at the "make it" stage.
>how quickly does a small crush develop into an intense crush for y'all?
Maybe I'm the wrong guy to answer, as I think I've only ever had one maybe... I met her during a pretty shitty time in my life, and talking to her, felt like hearing her story instantly changed my world. I admired her and felt like, if she could do it, so could I. I didn't meet again her for over half a year, and when we did, we started just hanging out and I started to realize, life just felt brighter when we hung out.
So I guess I had a minor crush the night a met her, and a major crush after several months of hanging out. She's the first girl I told I loved, the first girl who kissed me, and the first who broke my heart.
But then... maybe I'm not sure I understand what you mean by "crush". In my head, that means it's a one sided thing, and when you get older, you just stop giving a fuck about taking action and go for it, so that happens less.
if a guy you match with on tinder messages you and you say you're down to meet up for drinks/smoking weed, is that a green light to make a move? and if so, how soon do you do it? right after you finish drinking/smoking? 15 minutes after? middle of a netflix show?
also, lately i've been noticing some girls will just look at me. it's not a death stare, but it's not like they're checking me out and smiling either. they'll just take a quick glance and then look away, every now and then they might look again. the fuck is going on here? people used to pay no attention to me, i could just walk through somewhere and no one would even shoot a glance.
and if you go out of your way to do something nice for a guy, is that a sign of attraction? or is this just you being a nice person?
Is it a bad idea to go out with someone two days in a row? I had a date scheduled with a girl, but I just found the greatest thing she'd love, but it's only on the day right before the day we'd planned. Won't I come across as too thirsty if I asked her out to that as well?
Dudes. Especially those with office jobs.
How do you deal with making mistakes? My boss is off this week, so I'm taking a lot of her responsibility. I've spent 3 months on the job, she's spent years. I can't compare in any way conceivable. It's got me so stressed and nervous. How the fuck do I handle this?
oookay so just ignore my question and answer bait posts then.
I don't know. As a programmer, no one gives a shit if we fuck up, because we always fuck up and it's part of the game. For other lines of work, I just can't imagine having your head on the line. My sister and her partner are both pharmacists and her partner is always stressed the fuck out over making mistakes while my sister lives with it. Experience? Knowing not to make the critical mistakes and not stressing over the little ones?
I have Aspergers and I hate being touched by strangers. Even my best friend and I don't touch each other although she's just as antisocial as me. Only thing I like is brief hugs. She probably doesn't reciprocate because she thinks its weird but doesn't necessarily take it as a threat either.
Are you trying to get with this girl? We spergs are some of the few people that seem to respond better to bluntness than slowly trying to hint to someone you like her. Just cut to the chase and make a move.
That's the problem here. I've been here 3 months, I'm good enough to do a lot of things but asking experience based questions is just not feasible. I'm 100x better with her here supporting me.
I agree about the stress, though it's difficult because I'm constantly having to talk to VPs, managing directors, etc.
Yeah I got an answer here >>16372916
but why do girls lead on guys with bullshit like "OMG give me your #, we should totally hang out at the beach!"
I wish they'd stop that shit. If you're not sure then don't lead him on. I'd rather be rejected and get over it than get fed false
then again I don't women seriously anymore
>You just haven't been asking out enough men to notice. Go ask out some men.
I'm not gay though. But I would save some money and just see hookers instead of playing head games.
or 1-night stands with desperate cougars (did it before)
You can't make people stop acting like a fucking idiot basically. If you've already voiced your concerns but she's convinced HES THE ONE, you're going to have to let her crash and burn, and hopefully learn a lesson.
I get it's painful to watch, but it's up to them if they want to make horrible decisions.
>what could make you go from confident around a girl to very shy?
Crush he doesnt know how to deal with, probably. Or now he thinks he has a chance and is panicking.
How quickly a crush develops depends. But usually its only going to happen once I start spending a lot of time with someone, it has a lot of overlap with the honeymoon phase for me.
Girls any advice to stop being lazy, girls kind of confuse me but when I try I can get with girls but I am just too lazy to play the games and shit. I have been in clubs talking to girls and then just losing interest within a minute or two and excusing myself.
People ask me why I am still a virgin and for years I used a bunch of /r9k/ excuses until I realized I didn't really care and was just lazy.
Why are girls quiet when you approach them? I love talkative people, I love people who will not shut up and will talk for the both us because I am boring and shy as shit but yet girls always seem quiet at the start.
Do they pick up on my shyness?
I'm a guy and I recently started using tinder. I'm not bad at talking to girls but I haven't really done the whole hook up thing before. But I keep getting girls who send me a message saying I'm cute, then they give me a cell phone number and say to text them. That seems retarded to me because they're just giving their phone number to some stranger instead of just messaging over the app. I usually just assume that they're spam or whatever. But my question is, do girls really send out their cell number to a complete stranger in the first message they send?
I should also mention that one girl messaged me "hiiiiiii your cute. text me your favorite position. (Phone number)". I responded by asking if it was spam and then she unmatched me lol
I'm going to try and condense down what is originally a long story here. I have caught my girlfriend in the act of lying to my face multiple times, one of them being recently, have been betrayed by her multiple times throughout the years this being the worst, but I am not an angel either, I have done my fair share of bad things as well, problem is, we're starting to get deep into the relationship, I have changed my ways, and am now madly in love with her and would never even consider cheating, in fact our relationship has never been better, we feel more connected and lovey dovey and shit than ever, and I'm so stupid and naive I've had thoughts of marrying her and having a long future with her. My only problem is I still have the smallest part of my brain I can't shut off screaming that she's probably cheating, I have no real reason to think this, just paranoia. The recent event that caused this was me buying her alcohol for a vacation trip with friends, telling her I loved her and trusted her that she would only be with friends and etc. well come to find out a month later or so, apparently one dude she hooked up with before and had feelings for around the same time as the beginning of our relationship went with, but she kept it a secret from me until I found out by going through her phone. She seems genuine, but she may just be a good liar, when she says she did not cheat, and why she's lied about it, and she says her friends will confirm it, But regardless this opened my eyes that she would lie to me, she's the only one I know in state, and she could easily cheat on me and I'd never know. I guess I'm asking, are there any ways to get over this? Any sure fire signs to tell someone's cheating without actual evidence? Just any advice really
Personally, I think a woman who looks good with little to no makeup is the best. I think that makeup is generally over used and can cross the line from sexy/beautiful to horrid pretty easily, in general I'm just not a fan
I'm still not sure what you mean by subtle, though. (Not trying to be antagonistic)! Do you mean the foundation, bronzer, highlighter, contour, matte powder, waterproofing mix, eyebrow gel and pencil, lipgloss face or the Chapstick face.
I'm not a makeup pro, I am just saying stuff that makes a person question if you are wearing makeup . And since you mention foundation, I wish women would learn to put it and learn to match it to their skin, nothing worse than when it is all wrong , see it all the time
Male here(Only ever had one non-serious girl-friend but only dated for like 4 months and still a virgin.),
So i'm a shy guy but I tend to be able to at least not stumble over my words while speaking to le madam's.
My trouble is getting to the part where I casually ask for their numbers.
Any ways I could go about pulling off this daredevil stunt?
If a girl asks for your number then doesn't talk to you or makes excuses, she's a bitch and ignore her. If she gives you her number after you ask, it's what someone else in this thread said: she's avoiding the awkwardness of rejecting you but trying to ignore talking to you.
Has anyone ever met a true freak in the sheets but a lady in the streets?
To me, a true freak is someone who can go from passionate "love making" one week to exploring multiple partners and D/s switching...but is still a true lady.... as in loyal, employed gainfully, doesn't need a surrogate father, is well-adjusted, understands how to support and be supported, communication skills, etc.
You're not going to get a good response on the specifics from a guy probably. But an example off the top of my head would be covering up crows feet. Removing blemishes, versus adding new features altogether.
>to exploring multiple fathers
That's not a lady, that's a slut
But to your main question, yes. Find a girl who acts respectful towards others and is just in general a good person to be around, and when you both get comfortable around each other then she can be as freaky as you want her to be.
>How do you even cover crows feet?
I honestly have no clue. Again, I know nothing about makeup, its just something that came to mind.
The point is its nice when it covers blemishes, but not so much if you start looking like a whole different person.
Walk up to them, chat em up, see about giving them your number or vice versa. Theres no real magic trick to it, you just need to continue despite your anxiety.
Well as an anxious/socialy awkward guy myself one thing you can try to overcome your anxiety when talking to le males, is to just simply pre-plan your startup convos. It's weird but it's worked for me before.
Girls and Boys. I've joined POF recently, and I have to say I really hate this website.
Everybody it says is a match has a super bland and uninteresting profile. Nobody put anything to signify they aren't just a robot. At this point I half expect girls just copy and paste "I'm a country girl, love four-wheelers, and bbw."
Great. Now pls for the love of god tell me something interesting. It can be anything, like what kinda hobbies you do. I half expect the mentality is that guys will message them anyways, so they hardly write anything.
I'm not trying to say I'm the most interesting person, but I at least tried to write something only I could say, or the things that drive me.
I'm sure many men's profiles are just as bad, but I honestly don't think I can be asked with online dating. It's just not worth the time to read some of this drivel.
I'd like to hear some other peoples experiences with this. I have a feeling it's just my area.
Can you tell me about her? Did you know right away or over time? What were the major challenges to your relationship if you had one?
I just got out of a relationship with a girl who was the closest I've ever come, but we just couldn't get there; it wasn't right for us. It would be nice to have some hope someone closer is out there.
>I half expect the mentality is that guys will message them anyways, so they hardly write anything.
Thank you. THIS. MEN. THIS. Stop giving women unequaled confidence just because you're desperate! It never works out for men anywhere and you ruin the girl for everyone!
But really though men this is what happens because we're easy. Fat asses think they're the shit and normal women barely try at all unless you're my friends and me. I'm not even saying this because I can't get the women; I'm just annoyed that I constantly have to reeducate them:
>This was never a problem with my other boyfriends
Oh you mean all of the other men in your life are spineless pussies? You don't say.
Stop it men. You aren't doing yourselves any favors.
Guy here. Never had a girlfriend, partly because I don't want and need to, partly because I don't understand how I feel, partly because I don't even know what to do, mostly because I shoot down any affections I feel or receive, thinking that I'm not worth it and/or they're not worth it, and/or that I may be just "overthinking" it, and/or that they will just betray or hurt me just like the girls in my past, and/or that I keep on thinking that I'm going to grow up alone, and I'm steering towards it as a form of punishment to myself for all the shit I've done. I've experienced things that could have ended up with something, like a de-facto date, or even someone confessing to me. But I shot them all down, playing stupid, because of the above reasons. Lately, there is this girl that has been talking to me, despite my usual serious and quiet look. I still act the same around, quiet, speaking in a deep, serious tone. Sometimes she would wave in front of me, seeing that I'm staring blankly at nothing for minutes. She seems the happy-go-lucky type. I think it's happening all over again. I really do hope that my suspicion is wrong, but if otherwise, I think I'll be hurting someone again without doing anything. Should I keep at it, start distancing away, or something else?
We were extremely close friends for years before we started dating, so we knew each other very well.
There have been no major challenges in our relationship. We are best friends and have never fought. I guess the greatest challenge was being patient, as she'd never been in a relationship before and is somewhat traditional and conservative, so she took time.
There's definitely someone out there compatible with you. Just keep looking.
I wrote the first thing you linked.
This is purely anecdotal, but I find some of the feminist/stop supporting the patriarch ideas kind of ironic.
Yes, great women deserve equality, I as am a male am willing to give you that.
But what it doesn't mean is that I'm going to grovel at your feet. At least in my town, anecdotally of course , I live in bumble fuck no where, women have kind of taken this stance of superiority.
The whole point was to be independent from one another. Not this hubris. Have some GD respect.
>The whole point was to be independent from one another. Not this hubris. Have some GD respect.
Can I get an amen! A friend of mine said to me recently that he thinks it's coming from women's inexperience dealing with the challenges of being in the "top dog" spots. Women have never been *forced* to be leaders the way they kind of are today. Lots of articles out there about how some women feel like shit if they aren't being the All You Can Be Mom with a solid career, babies, good wife, etc. etc.
Women haven't done this before so they're going to fuck up a bit. As a guy, I get it. Being the boss is fucking legit but it's hard ladies.
But you know what's never OK? Sexism. And what else is it but sexism when a woman degrades or cheats on a man because he earns less than her and she needs to feel "taken care of." Are you fucking kidding me? So men help raise you up and then you're not happy and resort to the same sexism that spurred your gender (with some men standing by your side the whole fucking way) to revolt?
Fuck no. I won't stand for that.
I dont get it. Me again
>ask girl out
>she says yes but doesn't know when she will be free since she works 2 jobs and goes to school
>text her once with no reply
>call twice over the course of 3 or 4 days with no reply
>leave a voice message
>still no reply
>run into her again, ask what's up
>she says she hasn't been feeling well
>get all physically touchy since we're near each other again
>ask if she's still down, she says yes and gives me a time & date even though other dudes are hitting on her and ignoring them
>tell her that she needs to reply to me and improve communication if this is gonna work since we're both busy people
>tell her I'm gonna text her tomorrow and she needs to reply
>she smiles and says ok, looking forward to it
>I have a ton of shit going on on Friday and made room specifically for her
So what the fuck is going on, did I handle it well, and chances she stands me up?
How long do women hold grudges?
>I'm not looking for a relationship right now
One week later
>Now in a relationship
That's super fucking sketchy. Stay away from her unless you want to spend your time with people who are compromised.
Yeah, she's pretty weird. I think she was initially interested in me and then decided to go after her current guy instead and shot me down because of it. I'm also somewhat convinced that she went with him over me because she's a huge weeaboo who's a white girl with an Asian Studies major and the guy in question is Japanese.
Girls, I have a question.
I got in a conversation on OKC with a girl I'm not attracted to at all, she just messaged me with a question I felt like replying to and it snowballed. Now she's badgering me to text her and I'm running out of excuses. What's the nicest way to let her down?
Girls, this is weird, but what makes you want to cheat with a guy?
Throughout my adult life, I've had many advances from girls who were already in relationships, and a few times I made the mistake of going too far with them. At the same time, single girls barely give me the time of day.
Why do women want to cheat with me but not date me?
So, wait. You knowingly went with girls in relationships? And this has happened multiple times.
...Are you sure the problem is women? I don't think the problem is women, in this scenario.
>a few times I made the mistake of going too far with them
You're just as bad as they are then.
Guys, why do you enable girls to cheat and then complain that girls cheat?
There was a guy who kept asking about platonic cuddling every thread
I'm not sure if you're talking about race or ice cream.
I prefer ice cream with cookie dough, or fudge in it, but with only the choices of chocolate and vanilla, I choose vanilla.
>Girl from work I think is flirting with me
>2 times now she's jokingly (or at least I think) asked me to be her "date" for a work event
>Winks at me all the time
>Move in to a place nearby hers, she keeps saying how easy it would be for her to sleep at my place if she gets locked out
>Go to dinner at this sketchy restaurant (kind of an inside joke at work), she "jokingly" tells me to invite her next time I go
So, is she into me?
I don't see problems in going out two days in a row if you've gone out a few times already. However if that still seems like a huge deal to you maybe try to reschedule your already set date into this thing.
To clarify, I've only had sex with a girl who was in a relationship once, and I didn't find out until after.
On other occasions, it's just been girls getting too close, flirting heavily, had a really close call with a friend's GF recently, etc.
Ice skating. Very touchy feely, fun, and when you go for a bite after, you'll already be comfortable around each other.
With a movie you don't talk enough, with dinner straight away it's too awkward.
Does it take some time (say 3 years)for some of you like a boy back in return or is it really always just one answer???
> you know a boy likes you but he has only really tried twice to ask you out and hasn't mention it anything since, but he frequently talks to you
If he's asked me twice, asking me a third time isn't going to make me like him more
I don't know, what do you think, hmm?
No? How else are you supposed to get her number?
I get along great with my friend's GFs, female friends who are in relationships, girls that I know aren't interested in me, older women, etc, but girls that I should actually have a chance with won't give me the time of day.
Any idea what could cause this?
I had an argument with a bunch of people today. I maintained that girls sending love hearts in their text messages doesn't mean anything. The people I was arguing with were all girls and they claimed that girls only use love hearts when they like someone. I know that this isn't true because I receive hearts all the time from just about every girl I talk to - even if they have a boyfriend and/or clearly aren't interested in me. I've even received hearts from girls who have turned me down.
So girls, what do you think? Do love hearts and kiss emoticons mean anything to you?
Ugh, that's kind of what I figured.
Any idea what kind of behavior would cause this, or what I can do to change it? Do I seem like a flirty playboy, or a creep, or what?
I feel like maybe I don't seem that creepy, because I constantly get the "dude, how the fuck do you not have a girlfriend, I'd be dating you if I met you before my BF/Husband" kind of things from them without really doing anything to provoke it, aside from "hey, let's all go out, bring your girlfriend" "I don't have one" kind of conversations.
I have the same problem. Or at least some variation of it. I seem to get along great with girls theres no chance of me getting with, but I go terribly with all the ones that are actually available.
I kind of wonder if maybe knowing they're not available makes me more confident in talking to them since I don't have relationship/sex hopes riding on it, and I act differently without realizing it when talking to single girls.
Except, there are girls I've gotten on good terms with before finding out that they had BFs, so maybe that theory doesn't hold up.
Yeah the same thing happens to me a lot. I usually end up falling for girls who already have BFs because seem to be way more open to spending time with me than single girls. Always a terrible situation.
Not much you can do honestly other than maybe trying not to come off as desperate.
You just have to accept that there are women out there that are convinced even a Hi from a man is an attempt to get laid
Off topic but not deserving of its own thread. Anyone here ever try wanking a couple of times before a date so that you can last longer when the sex comes around? Did it work out for you or backfire?
You're thinking too much into it. If every girl you ever met hit on you, or tried to be more than just a conversationalist then I bet you'd try and keep your distance as well. Just be nice, have fun, get to know people, keep your eyes off their you know what's.
You know, this raises an interesting question.
I'm awkward about hitting on women, as are many guys here. The usual advice for guys is to start with unattractive women.
But, considering I seem to interact much better with girls I know I have no chance with than ones I think I might, I wonder... would I actually be better off exclusively after girls I think are out of my league? I can see a lot of benefits to the idea, I'll have less expectations riding on it so I'll be more casual, it'll be easier to write off getting shot down, and it'd be a huge win if I succeed.
My gf has some sort of social anxiety problem. In certain situations she freezes up and finds it impossible to select the words to express something. This doesn't usually happen between us, but recently she's wanted to talk about about our relationship and it's made her lock up each time.
I'd like to know what you think I can do to help her open up. I've already said a lot of encouraging things and we've agreed that it's better to bring worries up than to bury them, but the results so far have been limited.
Anyone got any advice other than "be yourself" for how to get someone to fall for you? The last 4 girls I've developed feeling for haven't reciprocated them and I always act like "myself" so I think I need a new angle here.
I'm generally pretty outgoing/smile a lot/ joke a lot. Thing is, I always just end up becoming friends. What is the trick to getting someone to like me back?
When you meet a boy, what makes you start to fall for him?
No don't "definitely use the A word" when it's not abuse. Don't downgrade an abusive relationship to just anything you don't like. As someone who's been thrown into furniture, shoved, and been told that no one will ever love me until I believed it, you just sound like an idiot.
>taps my shoulder and says hi
>shares her drink with me
>makes cookies and wants me taste it first
>texts me first with her kitten picture or video
>pokes me once but I forget to poke her back
ask her out for coffee once, two weeks ago,
We did't talk much, so she started playing with her phone and I just read some magazine, it's very awkward tbh.
It's this done? becasue she still text me after that and we still hangout with friends. should I ask her out again?
I actually get hit on by girls that most guys would think are 10/10s sometimes, but are not my type at all. My ex-gf is also an e-famous cosplayer with over 300k FB fans etc if that backs that up a bit.
Look, I know this is gonna sound scummy and douchey and I hesitate to say it, but here goes- I'm often told that I'm very attractive. People make jokes about me being Johhny Depp's brother etc. I'm also often told that I'm incredibly interesting to talk to. Is it possible that the subtle, cute, nerdy, intelligent girls that I'm interested in think that I am the one who's out of THEIR league, and that they're afraid to engage with me much because of that? It might also explain why taken girls enjoy casually flirting with me as often as they do.
That's not real a date tbh, it's just happened when her friend didn't come and leave two of us alone.
I have known her for two months.
When we hang out with friends we can talk a lot.
The reason why I still flirt with the guy I have a crush on is because I'll always be physically attracted to him. Yes, he's rejected my advances. Yes, he just wants to be friends. That doesn't mean I should ignore him as a human being. Plus, I admire his personality and want to keep him as a friend. He's an asset.
Since I don't think this needs its own thread and I think ill get an answer here despite it having nothing to do with what the tread is about...
How common is it for a package to take more than 3 weeks to be delivered within the US by USPS?
Legit question here:
Hey girls, remember that cute and shy chubby guy? Would you ever date him?
And even if he's not ugly but still out of your league because he's fat, would you give him a chance?
If not then how comes that we see couples of beautiful girls with fat and ugly guys?
Guys, how does your woman seduce you?
I have noticed recently that my boyfriend won't impulsively and passionately fuck me.
We have sex when he wants to (maybe 3 times a week) and I'm always gamed for lovemaking.
It's real awkward when I'm super horny and groping/kissing him and he rejects me.
How do I properly ''prep'' him? Any advice on initiation tactics that exclude kissing and groping?
Very Uncommon, call them or track the package.
I would give you a chance even if I'm not into chubby guys. Of course, physical looks are important. If a big enough emotional connection is made the looks aren't as important.
I'm not talking about when he is sad and tired. When he has had an average day and I'm horny or feel really close to him. What is a different way to initiate?
Is a girlfriend and love necessary to lead a happy life?
27y, never had a girlfriend./can barely talk to them due to anxiety
Depressed as fuck all the time.
When I look back I only see lost years of depression, drinking, getting high and video games /basically an empty life with 90% of it being all alone drinking
I Have no qualifications whatsoever and no job.
I would start an apprenticeship early next year.
But right now I just would like to shoot myself but can't get a gun.
Is the part of not having a girlfriend,
having no social life or no job the bottleneck?
What is the most important one of these things to change to make me happy again
IS GF=instant happiness or do I say fuck it and just concentrate on getting a job
Personally, absolutely. Then again I am kind of a chubby chaser so I am pretty biased.
Not a guy but it sounds like you just have a higher sex drive than him. If his ideal is two times a week and you fuck three times a week because you want it more, then yeah, he's not going to be supereager because he already had more than his fill and is basically pleasing you more than acting on an urge. There is no magical way to make someone who has no physical desire for sex superhorny - maybe something that works on an occasion or two (like suddenly acting on a fetish of his for the first time) but not a standard formula.
Reread it, he has neither a job or a social life.
He is asking if lacking those is the bottleneck. Not having either means you are fucked unless a shut in girl with no aspirations just drops on top of you
Also just for the record, best way to initiate is to work your way up to it. Seducing someone is trying to arouse their sexual appetite, not throwing in their face that you want to fuck, which will only put someone off if they have no desire for that yet. Go slower, be more subtle. After some cuddling climb on his lap, look into his eyes, whisper in his ear how good he looks so that your breath tickles his neck. If he responds positively, start making grinding motions but softly enough so that it is more teasing than satisfying. Think of the bread they give in restaurants, you want to give just enough so that he has a taste that he wants more of.
And, very important, back off as soon as he tells you no. It sucks, it's a blow to the ego, it's frustrating, but if you insist you will eventually make him dread all types of physical affection because he associates them with pushy sexual advances. Or starts to feel that you can't have affection with him without it just being foreplay. Make sure you cuddle, kiss etc him regularly without it turning sexual to avoid this scenario.
I know you are right about the libido thing, is there any way to get used to it? It kindof hurts my self-esteem that he doesn't want me more. I feel like a dog beckoning to his call.
I have tried his fetish twice, but it's kindof weird to me.
It's natural that this is difficult on you, I think most people have a hard time accepting this especially if they haven't encountered it before. I think it is mostly a change of mindset, firstly of course to realize that nothing is wrong with you (or him), it's a difference that doesn't make either one right or wrong. Secondly to accept that you will need to turn to masturbation to relieve part of your physical needs. If you have a difficult time finding this satisfying, experiment with different things: a new toy, trying porn, you could film it to show your boyfriend later if you're comfortable with that and get into the idea of putting on a sexy show for him. Whatever makes you feel fulfilled by it more.
It also helps if he's open to making your sex life a bit broader. He doesn't have to fuck you or go down on you to be involved - eg, you can masturbate next to him while he holds you and touches your body if you both enjoy that. This gives you a broader range to work with and while it is not the same thing, it is intimate and you feel that togetherness you don't with solo masturbation. If he is too tired for sex but does want to rub one out, you could masturbate together.
>I feel like a dog beckoning to his call.
you should not feel that way in your own relationship. Communicate to him that you like to take the lead and want to initiate sometimes, that he should not always immediately do so and give you the chance to come on to him. If he cannot be okay with this or talk about it reasonably, you have bigger issues than some incompatibility neither of you can help. Your sexual needs are valid and he should take it seriously to make you feel good about your sex life. Also see >>16378747 if you hadn't noticed it yet.
I'll be back if you have more questions or want more suggestions but eating dinner first, either way best of luck!!
What do I talk to a guy in the gym about?
I've got a massive crush on this guy at my gym and I'm 95% sure he does too, but I don't know what to talk to him about. We've already introduced ourselves, asked about our routines, say hi and bye, etc.
Maybe those women have already determined they don't want to be involved with you, for whatever reason. When a girl is willing and likes you, she'll stick around, right?
I might suggest going slowly. This might not necessarily work because he's expecting you to go quick grope kiss.
As someone with a lower sex drive, being pounced on can actually send me into a state of panic. I tense up and my body takes every touch as a possible attack. Not sexy. (Well, for some, yeah, but fear turns me off)
You could compare it to a step up from plunging in dry. Like, "Woah! Let's get warmed up first."
So try to go slower. Hug him close and sigh in his arms. Draw lazy circles around his knees, up his thigh- and skip up to touching his stomach. Try not to get all up in his face with heavy breathing if he's not there yet.
Touch his face, lightly kiss his cheek. Watch his heartbeat, his breathing, when he's clenching his fists.
When you've seen you've turned him on, don't dive for his dick. Tease. Unbuckle him, but brush at his thighs, kiss his stomach, until he's bucking for some attention.
Of course this takes a little work on his side too. My issue was jumping over the gap of "Ok brain, shut up and take it. it's going to feel really good once you relax." I fought past the tickling, the panic. I tried to switch up my brain by thinking, "These physical reactions aren't from fear, I'm turned on. This is arousal, not fear."
It's still kind of a challenge, but I try.
If he's willing to try, this could help. If he pushes you away at the first finger you lay on him, there's two things I'd suggest:
>Talk to him about it
>Introduce more non sexual intimacy.
Do all the circles and kisses and hugging I mentioned, but leave his dick out of it. The more comfortable he is with your touch, the better. He might be withdrawing because he thinks, "If I let her touch me shes going to expect to have sex, which I don't want to do" So just be close without sexxy times, sometimes. As he realizes more and more that you two can walk away from a cuddle session, progressing to sex will be more and more natural.
An in- "Hey, I've seen you do that lift and I haven't really done it before. Can you help me with my form and spotting?"
Another cheeky thing- ask about nutrition. Lead it into asking about good food in area. Ask if he wants to go there with you.
Date initiated!! On the date you can talk about random talk. Aspirations, history, hobbies, interests, dreams. Whatever.
He has a diaper fetish. He likes messing and wetting them. I think it's a physiological fucked up fetish, but, hey, I ain't a shrink.
He likes a bit of anal. I'm not too into to, but I finger him from time to time. I like fingering him sometimes, other times I find it gross.
This was some really good advice. I do masturbate here and there, but (as you probably know) it doesn't have that some connection. Masturbation makes me feel dirty, but making love with someone makes me feel fulfilled. I might start masturbating in the same room as him if he doesn't want to initiate. Maybe me touching myself will change his mind? If not, I will get off at the very least.
Thank you for the advice! I will try nonsexual kisses and touches and going slow next time! I don't want him to panicked or feel negative pressure.