>>16380494 I know what you mean, I like to know everything about the people I like. It's on the 8th of September. Thank you, it means a lot to me. I hope your well wishes come true. May we both have pleasanter days ahead.
I am sick of people being retarded. At work people yell at eachother because they have no idea what the fuck is going on. They see someone doing something and they go apeshit for no reason. I could explain to them what the misunderstanding is, but I simply can't deal with that shit. No one ever listens. They just yell at eachother and assume they are right. Sometimes someone will make a mistake and then yell at people for an hour before realizing they made a mistake themselves. It's ridiculous. Then I go home and open twitter where I see people I know reposting retarded shit. They retweet fake stories that are supposed to make you feel bad about being white, all sorts of feminist positive things like ''feminism is about equality!!!!!''. What the fuck is wrong with them? Then I go out to party and I get high with my friends because I'd rather die from drugs than live in this shitty world. I ask my friends about the drugs, I ask them what they are, where they come from, what dosages we are supposed to take and why we are snorting them instead of taking them oraly. They don't know. I have to actually get up the next morning to research what I've been taking to find out we are snorting a drug that's not supposed to be snorted and all kinds of other shit that would be extremely helpful to know.
>>16381930 I didn't drink your fucking 2% milk you annoying bitch, even if I did who cares it's fucking milk. So you can stop being a passive aggressive freak and making this living situation more awkward than it needs to be
I'm tired of being dragged down by you... you never do anything .... any fucking thing at all... you just sit in front if the computer if you are not working.... I have been wanting to leave for awhile to get my life back on track... I didn't want to do it this way I have talked and talked and you just stare at me with that fucking dumb look and don't say shit.... I don't want to marry you and be further saddled down doing everything and just getting more and more fat and unhappy.... I love you but I have to do what's best for me and get the hell out of this relationship
I wish you actually cared about me like you claim you do, I know as soon as I leave you'll already have forgetten me and that hurts. It makes me actually want to stay. I guess because I love you so much and leaving you is going to destroy me and I know it wont phase you. At least with living like this you still give me the time of day. I wish you would let me have friends. I wish you werent so mean all the time. I wish I never met you because all this has been for me has been heartbreak. We could have been wonderful, but we are so off.
>>16381930 I know you dumped me yesterday, but that was yesterday. Losing you was the worst thing that happened to me, yesterday. Today as I was driving home to visit for the weekend the worst thing that happened was I went from a time zone where it was 11am to 10am and I could no longer get lunch from fast food places unless I waited 30 minutes. That was the worst thing that happened to me today. I've already accepted that you don't love me anymore, and even though I still love you I know that I've still got my whole life ahead of me still. I know it'll take me a bit but I know I can and will get over you soon and I will become someone you'll regret leaving in the future.
No, no one is going to come to our fucking house BECAUSE NO ONE EVER COMES and nobody cares if I have the food on my fucking table cause who the fuck would come into my room any fucking way. WHY WOULD ANYONE COME TO MY ROOM FFS
>>16381930 Had a friendship spanning over 6 years online with this girl. We'd talk everyday, I'd skype her to help her through her break ups and I even stayed up till 3am my time to talk her out of moving to Texas with this over controlling guy that demanded she cut ties with her guy friends. Then after break up no7 she just came out and said stuff about never stopped thinking about me when she was with other guys and her friend confirmed that for 3 years she worshiped the ground I walked on. After 6 years of knowing her I figured she was worth saving up for. So told her when I get to the states we'd see how it went. Never felt affect like that before so..I saved and saved and did awful jobs to get the money to travel. Then the obvious happened. She met a guy but never told me about it, only way i knew was when she changed her fb picture to them kissing. This girl promised to stay single while i saved up. But ya, i called her on that, I got
>"well I didn't know you felt this way maybe it would be better if u stopped talking to me till u feel better"
I was sad cause I actually loved her back and she just betrayed me with no remorse. So I just said >...... >ya >goodbye
then didn't speak to her for 3 years, then suddenly last year she gave me a big long guilt e-mail saying a bunch of stuff from her point of view, being scared,always thinking of me even when her new guy, that she was sorry.
Honestly I just didn't reply. The e-mail was a contradiction of everything. Who waits 3 years to come to terms that they were wrong?
I miss her and think I always will, would even take her back as a friend if she tried over and over. It feels too raw and I owe her nothing, Not to be a pussy but I'm still hurt over it. I'm friends with her friend so wouldnt be surprised if she is stalking me.
Someone I connected with and in the end it didn't matter, I didn't matter. Least I spent all that money i saved on myself ha.
I wish I did so many things differently. I fucked things up with 2 really cool girls in a row at this point and I'm starting to wonder if things will ever work out. Finding someone I can give a shit about is so hard and when I do they just end out hurting me so why should I even bother anymore?
I'm so fucking lonely and I'm always surrounded by friends that adore me. I think I should drop out of college because I'm wasting my parents money, not that I'm failing, but I know I'll probably end up a depressed lawyer who commits suicide in my 30s. I want to have a real connection with someone. I want to stop feeling so fucking numb. I don't even eat much anymore.
I've tried playing nice with you. I've tried being civil. But you are such an unbelievable, lazy and self-serving child that you can't fathom doing anything that doesn't satiate your need for instant gratification. You have a job? Good for you! Most competent adults have jobs. But life requires a little more effort than that and when you spend not days, not weeks, but MONTHS dragging your feet like a petulant man baby, you can't expect me to put my needs after yours. We could have been done and over this incredibly annoying transition ages ago but the only thing you are motivated to do is drink, smoke pot and jack off. And you make -me- clean up after your stupid fucking mess. I could give less than a shit if you refuse to grow up and use your mommy as a safety net for the rest of your life. But at least allow me to finally cut you completely out of MY life so I can get on with it.
I haven't had a conversation with a girl around my age since forever, I can't fucking take it anymore, I never shared an intimate moment with a girl apart from a hooker who gave me an erotic massage in Eastern Europe one time. I'm just so frustrated and hopeless
I have a crush on a coworker and I think I'm accidentally making it super obvious to everyone. I think he either knows that I like him or at least suspects it now, because I asked a friend to ask him why he talks to everyone but me.
I don't want to do ANYTHING anymore. Nothing is enjoyable anymore. My personality is turning darker and darker, probably because those antidepressants have erased my emotions, and turned me into a heartless monster. I've turned into a person who laughs at people getting hurt, and I only feel a tiny bit of remorse and empathy that's slowly fading away. No wonder I'm alone. It's not just because I have isolated myself, and only go outside when I have to. It's not like it was better back when I went to school. The only thing I ever wanted was to be able to feel accepted. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I don't think I formulated this the way I wanted, but I'll leave it like this, for now anyway.
I once wrote a letter to my at the time girlfriend. In the letter i told her i liked butt play when i actually didn't. I did this because i was trying to give her something so she would open up about what she wanted to do in the bedroom. I later informed her of this lie i told, but she probably saw it as me trying to save face because i was ashamed of it or something.
The only reason i put this here is because i want people to know that others are lying too. Their reasons for lying are different than mine, and i've stopped. If you want to believe their bullshit than by all means go ahead. You want to willingly act like a bunch of immature idiots than go right ahead.
I thought for years that being tired and stressed all day long no matter what (to the point of feeling like passing out once in a while) was a perfectly normal feeling that almost everyone has. I talked about it to several doctors for years and it's only now that one of them is willing to see if something is wrong with my hormones. Fuck them all, this shit is actually ruining my life.
Also, college sucks.Teachers are incompetent, grades are arbitrary and some people in my courses are assholes for no reason and insult others for the sake of their little "jokes". They can go fuck themselves. At least I have some compromising info on some of them, in case they might think they're perfect.
I have finally found a dream and life direction, but I simply can't muster the focus or discipline to make it happen. Seriously it's lying right there and I could do it, and I get started- I'll go two or three days doing what I know I need to. Then I'll stay up/sleep in too late, or skip exercise or study or watch a movie. I'll do something that isn't contributing to my goal and is something I KNOW I shouldn't be spending time on, but I'll rationalize it.
If you've ever been addicted to a semi-mild drug or nicotine, it's kind of like that. There's ALWAYS a reason to do what I know I shouldn't. (I used to have an addiction/abuse problem, 2 years clean)
Hey Dad, You're really drunk again and it's painful to see. I do not understand why you drink? Do you really love the taste that much? Or do you feel empty? How can you feel empty with a loving wife, a stable job, good economy and well me? I know your dream job was probably never to become a chemist – but let's be honest. Being a rock guitarist wasn't a solid dream plan either. It's been a rough year with your dad passing away and you must realize you are getting old. But at the same time this is not the first time you are drinking. You been drinking for as long as I can recall and I can't figure out why. You have no idea how many tears I've cried because I've found you sleeping next to endless bottles of beer and fine whiskey. Right now, I'm actually loosing hope of you ever changing. But do now I blew out my birthday candles each year since I was six years old wishing that you would find something so you wouldn't have to get drunk anymore. I love you dad.
>>16381930 I miss my friends, ever since I came back all they do is say I changed and try and make some jokes about it to lighten the mood. I've gotten help. But sometimes all they do is shit on me and I try so god damn hard to change but no, they tell me that I'm fucked up and just shit on me, never offer help, never offer anything, and all I've done is let you borrow money and try and change so I can keep you as friends. And J, man he's a real fucking special guy, we were best friends and when I come home, you took my girlfriend, my house, you shit on me constantly, and my fucking dog, you guys won't even give me my dog back, it's my fucking dog. Nothing I do makes sense because you guys couldn't give two shits about me anyways, if you did, you'd fucking try to help me rather then call me a piece of shit and never come around again. We grew up together.. I thought maybe you guys would treat me differently but looking back on it, none of you ever did shit for me, ever. All I did was help you and offered my support, not even a thank you. You could at least give me MY dog back.
I'm sad, and I'm too much of a coward to face my problems, rather than burn in an internal fire of denial and repression.
I can't focus on my studies. I don't enjoy two of my three classes, but I've always been an academic and my parents (who I still live with) expect me to follow this route. Truthfully, I want to be an illustrator/artist but my vigor is ripped from me by all my schoolwork and I struggle to make myself practice. I know this is my dream and I feel like I'm wasting my time on things I don't like, but I'm not good enough to throw away my academic career, and I worry that as a result of my academics taking all my energy I never will be good enough.
I was a complete idiot and let my ex cry on my shoulder after she split with another guy. I told myself it was because we're friends but she's stopped talking to me as soon as she's affirmed that they're getting back together. I thought we were becoming friends again but I feel like I've been used and tossed aside. That's not an ongoing problem now I'm just feeling the repercussions of being a beta faggot. Not doing that again ever.
I've had crushing fits of nihilism ever since an old friend killed themselves. I'm not sure what's worse, when I feel like shit because a young man hung himself and the world keeps spinning, or when I feel guilty about making his suicide about myself by thinking in this way.
Tl;dr life is meaningless and I'll never have the artistic talent to express it
>>16383269 Because I'm scared he'll tell me to fuck off. Last time I told guy I've fallen for him, he told me it's because I have a small social circle and lied that he has a date with some girl, so he's not available.
I know you think im calling your bluff about leaving me by giving you the cash and everything you wanted to get started on doing so but im really not. Youre done? I never successfully started... I just wanted you to like me and be happy and do everything I could manage to socially/emotionally/physically to make this possible. Im not trying tot change your mind. I think you should leave. I dont want you to, I love you, always have and always will but I cant keep playing this mindgame of you seem fine, happy, making progress one day and scream in my face untill I think I need to hide the scissors and razors again. I asked you to promise me not to die... I should have asked you to promise to live.
If this has to be without me then I do, ultimately want you to go. I want you to go and realise No matter what you do, id do anything I can for you. Even if you walk out of here next week with no prospects and im left alone for days, weeks, even years. You can come back any day any time. If i move ill leave my details with the new tenants, I wont change email or phone number. Any time, any date, you say you want to come back and I wont even ask where youve been as long as youre happy. I just cant stand the thought of finding you cold and bloody again and every day getting home and wondering ... are you there? are you alive? are you happy?
You feel like you owe me and you hate it. I understand. But i will never ever EVER feel that you do.
I don't think I deserve to be happy, in fact I know I don't. That's why whenever things start looking up I end up subconsciously sabotaging it.
Depression blows, and I just get further depressed because of my depression.
Back in April I made a deal with myself. I gave myself until the end of the year. If things were not better by then. I'm done.
I might break that promise and speed things along. April to September the depression loomed, and nothing helped. Therapy was a waste. Spent nearly a grand only to have the therapist tell me I didn't care enough to continue (they would "teach" me mental exercises I already knew and when I told them I've tried those techniques in the past they would say I obviously didn't try hard enough.) Tried meds. Didn't help. Only racing did. Enough that I did some damage to my body, but it's end of fall and winters coming. No races in winter.
I don't know if I want to deal with 5 months, nearly half the year as misery.
>>16383434 I don't know if you know, or care, what suicide feels like. It's like you're carrying a heavy burden that only gets heavier. When you try to get help others turn away, or mock you, they throw more weight on you and tell you to keep going. And the further you go the harder the trail gets: steeper, muddier. It begins to raim. It's like the world utself is against you
But you see suicide shows up, puts its arm around you and tells you that it's okay. Put the weight down. There's no reason to keep on going in a world that you clearly don't belong in. It will be alright.
That's what suicide means to me. But you won't care. I would say I'm just wasting my time, but who am I kidding?
>>16381930 I can't stop thinking about you. I'm afraid you might not love me like I love you. I'm not terrified of anyone. There have been so many hot girls I've had no problem talking to, but I'm completely intimidated by you. I've felt physical pain in my chest and stomach every day because of you even though I only ever see you briefly once a week. I haven't been able to say anything to anyone because of how bad it is.
After coming home from my tour things seemed different, this was my second tour so I wasn't really expecting things to be different when I got back. Everything of mine was no longer mine, and I got shit on when I tried to come back into my friends lives, or even try to get my stuff.
While I was gone my girlfriend made her move for my best friend, supposedly I got a "Dear John" letter but that's bullshit.
I try and get my shit back, including my dog, "best friend" talks a lot of shit about me, tells me I can't take the dog, I wanted so badly to make him swallow his teeth but I didn't.
All of this made me realize that all of my other friends were like this, no one offered to pay for anything, when all I've done is offered my support and my money to them, but I just got completely shit on and it pisses me off that I spent like 16 years of my life thinking I had friends when I'm just the clown. It hurts and I don't really know how to feel.
I missed my chance, I wished I wasn't a scared fuck and asked you out when you were still here. I wished I would have talked more and instead of the few minutes we saw each other in the mornings and whenever you bring so work for me. Now you are in a different country and only way to reach you is by phone and I didn't even know if that number still works. I want to tell you how I feel but I just don't know how and if it even matters
Dear R, You're pathetic. Get a fucking grip on your life. Its funny, how you manipulated him, cheated on him, and broke his heart. But I was there. I knew from the beginning how special he was and that he would change my life. I waited and waited five months for him. You have no idea how much it hurt when I would do anything for him but I knew deep down he wasn't over your sorry ass yet. But you know what? I waited for him. Because I know he's amazing and special. We've been together over a year and we will be for many more, so why do you feel the need to try to text and snapchat him all the time begging for him back? The only reason he hasn't blocked you yet is because he's been too busy to get around to it. You're a worthless used up whore. You may have been his first, but I'm his forever. Sincerely, L
E, I hate you. You don't care about me and you take advantage of me. You never want to do anything I want to do and you only care about being with your friends. You hurt me, break my trust and constantly lie and just blame me. I want to go home so badly, I miss my brother, and my dogs and my parents so much. I hate living with you. You quit your job and fucked us over and I can't get a job because I'm homeless because of you. I'm so fucking pathetic for sticking around with you. But I'm finally losing interest in you in every way. I wish you never changed into the person you are today, I really loved you. - M
My girlfriend just got taken from me by motherfucking cancer. I act normal and do stuff, but it's only because if I don't keep myself busy, I'll start to think about her and just get depressed. To be honest, I'm not even afraid of death anymore since if I die, I'll get to be with her again. Everyday I hope there's some accident or some happening and I'd die. I won't kill myself, because when she was a teenager she had a whole suicidal phase cause of her tremendous family problems, and she made me promise I would never do anything like that. You know, I'd always sing God Only Knows by the Beach Boys to myself after she died. "If you should ever leave me Though life would still go on believe me The world could show nothing to me So what good would living do me" This has been the longest month of my life.
I fucking hate the fact that everyone I like is right now at my ex girlfriend's house celebrating her. She broke me and they know it. I'm over her now but I have never felt so left out in my entire life.
You know the problem isn't you, right? I just don't see myself in this lifestyle. You have all these things in your life and if I went there my whole life would revolve around you one way or another, and I don't think this is healthy. There isn't a minute when I don't think how much fun and how sweet it would be for us to be partners, but whatever mental gymnastics I do I can't picture myself in this kind of relationship with someone so superior than I in every possible way.
As of now I don't want to say "yes" because I could be making a huge mistake and I wouldn't want to involve you in that, and I don't want to say "no" because I feel you're genuinely the best person I've ever met. One day, when I have a better grasp at this new life, I'll be able to make up my mind. I really don't think you'll be all that sad so please keep your head up.
I really don't think I have anything else to say about that, I wish I knew how you're truly feeling.
I feel weird for not liking to get off on webcam. While I do enjoy seeing the other person get off, I don't get turned on enough to be able to orgasm from that. I touch myself but it doesn't really do anything for me besides being kind of relaxing. It's different if the other person is physically there, but on cam it just feels kind of boring. idk maybe it's just that my partner isn't doing enough to keep me into it. it feels like i'm just doing it because they want me to, but they don't care about getting me in the mood.
*sigh* why couldn't you been more of a man? Why couldn't you have stepped up to the plate and taken care of me like I had bent over backwards to take care of you? I blame myself. I resent myself. I fed into your victim bullshit to the point where you were too incompetent to get off your mattress before nightfall. But I was afraid I'd hurt you. You were so fragile and I enjoyed the time we spent together and I was afraid the more I said the more anxiety I would cause. I did love you at one point and seeing you in pain would break my heart. But I loved you to the point of enabling you unlovable...
Oh and enjoy your 19 yr old /soc/ meetup. I suppose you just need someone even younger than I am to take care of you.
>>16384226 To Sebastian T cont.... Sebastian, in another dimension we are having wild and exquisite sex....in another dimension and I like to get lost in my thoughts about you ...11 fucking years and I STILL remember every single part of you and your body...your tender kisses
I'm a junior in college and I haven't been to a single party. I have no idea how to figure out where and when college parties are. Is there an app or Facebook group I'm missing out on? Or do I just need to know the right peos? Fuck.
You'd figure the major movie studios like 20th Century Fox, Warner Brothers, Paramount, etc, would have keychains based on their logos readily available to the public, but just finding them is proving to be quite a difficult task. In one case, I had to settle for a pin...
so i got loadsa money but i feel better when i have 0. i like the hustle baby ima hustla check these stacks homeboi 1g ima toss it down a crack alley watch it blow ima go to hollywood and pray all day dem gay niggas praying the gay away judas burger king and midas touch 10 piece nuggets all day no disrepec a hunna a cop be my nigga all dem snitches be wildin cause pockets be hurtin but i aint no slave nigger i go camping i shitpost cause humor a hunna yall niggas posting below me be gayer than a faggot ass pussy unless u a lady then u gonna have a baby
>>16383349 Aw come on. You get rejected if there are really no feelings for you, don't blame it on an entire sex my friend. Btw that guy who told you the social circle bs just wants you to feel worse, seems like a sadist
Wow this sounds so similar to how I was recently, although it was birth control instead of antidepressants. How were you before taking antidepressants? Do you think weening yourself off them would help?
I have depression and the pill I was taking amplified it. It caused me to lose focus very easily and think about suicide almost daily. I finally decided to stop after weeks of hesitation because it was destroying me. It's been a month now and I'm feeling a lot better emotionally although
>The only thing I ever wanted was to be able to feel accepted.
>>16384767 You know, there are black people that are just people and not your boogeyman stereotypes rooted in fear.
Some of us want a decent life without being defined by the guy that just mugged you outside an Apple store. Hell, the only reason why I'd beat your white ass is for being an invalidating shithead but you might think it as "chimping out" because a "good" nigger would just take the abuse and not just smack a bitch for being one.
>>16384829 Also, I forgot to mention I've been on Zoloft for a year, which was prescribed for Agoraphobia which I slightly still have. I dont feel that depressed, but I'm not happy at all. Each day just passes by, and all I could describe it is just Meh
Sweet summer child there's more important things to worry about than losing your virginity. lol The only time it's blatantly obvious is when sex is brought up in a conversation. Sex is not that big of a deal, but you won't truly realize this until after you finally have sex unfortunately. But if it really bothers you, save up money and go to a brothel.
>Will I ever know how to do things like pay taxes, buy a house, pay bills etc
Do you have your GED? If so, ask for advice from where you got it. They can possibly guide you to some organizations that can help you. Even reddit can actually be helpful if you search around.
You're 18, do everything, learn evrrything and be qualified for anything in life. That's a golden age enjoy the ride.
I deal with people who are depressed when I volunteer becuase I was in that boat too. And all you need is a solid support group. Trust me find a good support group. Make sure you make good little victories. Baby steps. Build confidence secretly. I believe in you bloody frog picture man.
>>16384849 >First year: I was in an actual high school for like 3 weeks, then transferred to a bullshit online school, but technically homeschooled. End of the year my mother realized the program I was doing wasnt compatible, but we still bullshitted the grade paper(which is all we had to do) >Second year: Tried actual hs again, was technically in 10th grade but was doing all 9th grade classes again. This lasted 4 months till I transferred to homeschool. The rest of the year I managed to keep up on my work. >Third year: Still homeschool, did bullshit for a month, then ended up not doing my work anymore. Eventually officially dropped out.
I can't stand anything. I hate fucking everything. No one loves me and i love no one because everyone scares me. Things don't go right for me no matter how hard i try. My so called depression is probably just me overreacting to some mild melancholy, because lately i've met more and more people with actual depression and i'm nothing like them. I'm disgusted at myself for thinking i'm on the same level as those people, that's an insult to them. They're far more brave and worthwhile than me, i'm just a slimy gross self hating little shit bag who can't stand being lonely for one second without screaming "I'M DEPRESSED". I should just go die so no one has to fucking look at me, i'm pathetic and useless. I can't do anyone any good, this world can go on without me. I was born in the wrong place, wrong time, wrong flesh, wrong mind, wrong universe. Kill me, just fucking kill me for god's sake you fucking cowardly universe you big empty cold bastard.
If its any consolation everyone dies. You're just delaying your doom by not living at all. People die from the simplest things and the crazy part is some of them probably loved life until they died. We all die what you do before you do die is up to you.
Or you can go the ideal romance, family route. Not a bad way to make sure you somewhat existed. We're all memories anyway.
I am tired of being lonely and tired of people downplaying my feelings. Every time I mention to anonymous people on the internet and my parents, I get this: >what are you doing? STOP THINKING NEGATIVE, THINK POSITIVE >you should be happy with what you have for goodness sake! >you need to be happy with yourself before you can get into a relationship >you're not supposed to want gratification from having a caring partner, living and achieving goals should be enough! I'm 20, have been completely friendless for over two years, never had a girlfriend (or a date for that matter). What I'm going through is not as "normal" as people always tell me, if it's normal to be completely socially isolated and unloved, than I don't want to live anymore.
Every time I talk to someone else, I miss him more. I've never connected with anyone like I did with him that first night. And he knew it too. We talked about it on and on. It was like we were meant for each other. Even when we disagreed, we never became upset, we never held it against each other or ignored each other. He told me he wanted to marry me. He just wanted loyalty and respect and I was loyal and I did respect him.
you're right anon. We should stop selling this idea that people have to "love themselves" before they deserve love from anyone else. Not everyone will ever be completely whole - they won't always completely love themselves. But that's okay, you can work on that. And you deserve love anyways anon
Who says I'm in a shitty situation? You? I'm in good place and the future is good. I have a lot of opportunities not to mention I'm getting paid a monthly salary of 2500 for 3 hours of work a day. and Still making more from other things and gonna keep making more trust me. Who are you again? Be thankful in your life.
Didn't want to make a topic so despite it not really being "getting it off my chest" quick piece of adv needed,
Someone inadvertently wronged me a few months back, at first I was consumed with revenged then decided it wasn't a good way to live my life.. Now however the perfect way to get revenge has fallen in my lap... Do I act upon it or just let shit go
I want to seduce my doctor. He's not married or anything and he's very intelligent and kind. I think there is a chance he would reciprocate otherwise I wouldn't even consider. How do I subtly show interest without being too weird? (I realize this is not an advice-specific thread, but maybe somebody will have some insight.)
I just cheated on my gf of 5 fucking years. I want to die. I don't deserve either of them even though they are both angels and super good looking.
I didn't sleep with her though. It was just heavy kissing and light groping. The serious part is that I think I just started a serious relationship with her too. I told her stuff I shouldn't have and now she completely trusts me. All I wanted was to see if I still had it in me to score a super hot girl. I didn't mean for it to go this long.
Now I don't know what to do. I'm afraid to blow the new chick off because I know I wasn't completely happy with my current gf. But I am more terrified of ending a 5 year relationship, with a girl who was supposed to be my soulmate and my wife.
What would you guys do? I am in time to stop all this and take this to my grave. But If I keep it up eventually I will lose one or even both. I need to pick one but I'm not sure what the right choice is. My current gf and me have been going through some tough times and sometimes it seems like we dont love each other anymore. Plus shes cold as fuck and doesnt show any affection, but this is not new, its been like this since I met her. I need a girl that shows a little affection.The new girl looks fucking perfect but I know its just the novelty making me feel like that.
>>16385337 You should break up with the 5-year girl. If the new chick new you had a gf don't go with her though because that is kind of messed up. It will be really hard but this will haunt you your entire life if you don't fix it now.
I want to fuck her so badly, but my ex has a bf and wants really nothing to do with me. I don't really want a relationship with her. Her body changed even more into my type after we broke up. Like damn this lust is strong.
Incoming novel. You're a trooper if you read the whole thing.
A few years ago I had a relationship with an incredible anxious, emotionally insecure asexual girl. I still think about her all the time. For the sake of context, it was my first relationship, and I was (and still am) a virgin. I don't think I meant anything to her, as due to her neuroses my presence was more of an inconvenience than anything else. She got more emotionally involved in anime and tumblr stuff than she did with anything we ever did together.
While it felt like she didn't care much about my feelings, basically just used me as a cuddleslut (the horror), and gets triggered at the drop of a hat by literally everything, but I still can't help wondering if it could ever work. I never fully understood why she wanted to break up; I wasn't exactly going through an easy time (death of a family member who I loved very much) but our relationship had been deteriorating before then. AFAIK she was scared that we were moving too fast, though we just hung out every so often and making out was the extent of our intimacy. I did tell her I loved her, which seemed to accomplish nothing other than making her uncomfortable.
What ultimately led to our breakup was a post she made on her blog, where she described how angry she was about the relationships she'd been in, and how trapped she felt being in one. After months of hiding her feelings and pretending like things were ok, it was the first time I was able to see her honest opinion.
I felt like an asshole reading it on her blog, but by then our relationship was already falling apart and she'd been avoiding me for a couple weeks. I wanted to know what was going on, and that was the only place I could turn. I sent her an email about her post, acknowledging it and telling her that I supported her and wanted her to be happy, that I was proud of her for the choices she'd made and that she should never feel the need to compromise herself for the happiness of others. I told her some stuff about me, too, since I felt like I'd been unfair by withholding some information about my own past.
She took awhile to respond, which was okay. When she did it was just a short paragraph apologizing to me for the misunderstanding, and that she had just been talking about old relationships, not ours, and that she was sorry that I'd seen it on her blog. Then she asked if we could just be friends, and I agreed that this was the best choice. We never saw or spoke to each other again after that.
She meant a lot to me when we were together and I wanted to be a good boyfriend. I tried really hard to respect her boundaries even though she was not the best at communicating. That's why when she wanted to break things off I agreed with her without a fuss, knowing that she hated arguments more than anything else. I figured she had already rationalized why I was an awful boyfriend, and if I really loved her the best choice would be to just let her go.
Every day though I think about her, when I get up and when I go to bed. I keep thinking about what I could've done better and wonder if I could ever make her happy. It's like I'm romantically imprinted on her and I can't shake it.
I know that she had just gotten out of a really bad breakup before we met, and I guess I was sort of her rebound. I don't know if she's gotten into another relationship after me. She had some serious trust issues, but so did I when we met. I guess we just weren't ready for each other.
There was a little while when we were happy together, and it was amazing. She didn't feel nearly as strongly as I did, but I know that she at least was also happy for a little while. I want to be able to have that kind of awesome relationship again with someone, but I just feel seriously impeded by her memory. I've turned down a few girls already (though mostly for other reasons, namely that they were in relationships) and I've been actively avoiding going out and dating, aside from some feeble attempts on dating sites.
I keep fantasizing that maybe one day we'll run into one another, or she'll finally muster the courage to contact me, though I know the latter won't happen since I doubt she even thinks about me anymore. Maybe she's forgotten me entirely. Not that she would ever reach out to me, anyway; she's an extraordinarily passive person. And if we did run into each other, I don't know what I'd even say. I just don't know what to do, /adv/.
I know I wasn't perfect. I don't have much money and I live with my parents. She carried a lot of baggage about her sexuality, her family, and society, and I was constantly worried that I was going to offend her somehow. I probably did and she just didn't tell me. I had a great deal of affection for her and was very devoted, which she frankly was very suspicious of. I don't think she ever thought my feelings were "real" and that I was just trying to use her for sex. When in reality I was very anxious about intimacy and concerned that I was not satisfying her when we kissed. I just wanted her to be happy and to know that she was loved, and I failed.
I will try to elaborate on our "sex" life, because aside from the distance between us, that was the most confounding part. She seemed to enjoy kissing, cuddling, and touching, but she was very averse to having her crotch touched, something I learned the first time I tried to reach between her legs and she told me to stop, which I did. I tried again after a couple weeks, and when she refused again, I realized that she just plain didn't want to be touched there. So I never tried again.
The only time she ever initiated anything was the first night when I confessed my feelings for her; we hugged for a little while, and later in the evening she leapt on me and kissed me. It was fantastic, though I mumbled a lot and generally came across as an idiot.
After that, though, I always had to be the one to initiate. She'd certainly send hints my way, and it was up to me to read when she wanted me to make a move. Difficult when I'd had no experience, but I tried to learn. There were times I kissed her when I don't think she really wanted to be kissed (and we stopped kissing soon afterward) and there were times where I didn't kiss her where she seemed disappointed because I didn't do anything.
There were a couple times where the tension was palpable between us, and we threw ourselves at one another simultaneously, kissing and holding one another very tightly and passionately, and those are moments I treasure in my memory.
It was very hard to know what I was and wasn't allowed to touch. Even though she really liked having her thighs touched, I generally avoided touching her legs because I didn't want her to feel like I was trying to reach for her crotch. I did touch her butt a lot and she never protested, but I don't know if she actually liked it or not.
When we made out, there were occasionally times where our shirts came off. I would kiss her neck and her breasts and try to slowly build up in intensity, which she sometimes seemed to enjoy, and sometimes not. I could never really tell, except for the few occasions where she told me she liked it.
She was never particularly forward with what she wanted, and so I was left to guess most of the time; whenever I asked, she just told me to do whatever I liked, and that she would stop me if it bothered her. Which sounded reasonable to me, though I wished for more guidance. I resolved to just go slowly and experiment bit by bit. We were never naked together - pants always stayed on, and I never asked her for sexual favors. I knew that she was into non-sexual nudity, but she never brought it up and I didn't want to ask, out of fear that she'd think I was just trying to have sex with her. I wanted to wait until she - and I - were comfortable with the idea of that kind of intimacy, even if it took a long time for it to develop.
After a couple months and a lot of trial and error, there was a brief moment when we seemed to connect sexually, when finally I was able to "read" what she wanted and give it to her, as limited as I was both in experience and what I was allowed to do. It was amazing - just kissing her nipples as I stroked her thighs and gently caressed her face, getting into a rhythm with her that I had never felt with anyone else. She was shaking afterward and she told me how much she enjoyed it, and seemed so happy as I held her. She looked like she felt so safe.
Thinking back I hate myself for not telling her I loved her then. The words had been in my mouth but I swallowed them because of how she'd reacted when I'd said "I love you" before. I hate myself for not being braver, for being too afraid to tell her how I felt when it would've mattered most. She even gently said "you look like you have something to say" and I just pretended that I didn't. I was scared of hurting her, and looking back I feel like I really fucked up but not saying it.
With the success of that evening, I decided to experiment a little more. The next time we were together, I tried being a little more forceful with her, gently holding her hands down as I kissed her. She pushed back a little but didn't seem frightened or angry, but I couldn't tell if she enjoyed it or not; gradually I released her hands and we rolled around a bit until she was on top of me. Figuring that she'd just stop me if she was uncomfortable, I tried again with a different experiment, and - this is embarrassing - I slapped her butt. I was inspired by a story she wrote with a friend, and figured I would just try it. She didn't react to the first one, so I did it again, and at this she just said "no, no" and slid off.
At this point I was terrified that I'd somehow hurt her, so I got up and hugged her, but I was completely at a loss for what to say or do. In retrospect I think she was just surprised and a little miffed at my general incompetence. I wished her good night and left. Looking back I curse my stupidity and inability to make that situation more comfortable. If only I'd had the presence of mind that I do now.
After that night there was a marked change in her behavior; she seemed much less interested in kissing and being around me. We did occasionally kiss after that, but there was much less passion than before and it often seemed like a chore to her, as if I were kissing a brick wall and she was just waiting for me to leave.
What makes this so confusing is that I can only wonder sometimes if it was my lack of sexual competence that ultimately drove her away, when from the start she had always told me that she was not really a sexual person. There had been a lot of passion and tension between us before that awkward night, and afterward it just seemed to drop off completely. It didn't help that it took roughly a month for me to talk to her about that night, because I was concerned about offending her and she seemed content to pretend like it never happened.
When I did bring it up, she just waved it off and the conversation was over in less than a minute. After that there was what appeared to be a slight rekindling, but at that point I was more of a warm body next to her than somebody she could see herself with. Our relationship reached its twilight stages soon afterward, and it was not long until we broke up. In the end I did tell her I loved her again, awkwardly, with poor timing, and this time she just didn't say anything in response, and when I kissed her that night she pushed me away. I knew for certain it was over then, though we still didn't break up for another month.
As I've said, I think about her all the time. My memory is too good to ever let this stuff go. It's partly a curse, I suppose, but at the same time it allows me to recall events very precisely and very intensely. I remember everything we did together, all the moments we shared and things we talked about, all the confusion and hope and pain. To her it was probably just a fling that she doesn't even think about, but for me it was my first time being close to somebody else, looking into her beautiful eyes, feeling her heartbeat and her breath. She was so gentle and kind to me when we first started dating. I wanted to be there for her always. And now I can't, ever.
Over the years I've reached out to her a couple times, but it's never precipitated into anything. Eventually on a whim I wrote her a short story and then left it at that. She didn't respond to it, and I didn't expect her to. To a certain degree that gave me some closure, but clearly not enough. I think deep down, I have a hard time letting go because I don't know if I ever meant anything to her. I want to believe that some part of her cared for me, and that under other circumstances we could've been together, and been happy.
I don't blame her for anything, or hold any grudge or anger against her. I just wish I could talk to her and sit beside her again. But I know that it's never going to happen.
How to 5get the girl who broke your heart, friends?
Dear father, I'm sorry for being the son you never wanted. Now that you're off with you're new family with the daughter you always wanted I hope you're happier for it.
Iknow the shit you said about me to your brothers and sisters...my aunts and uncles. It hurts to know that they think I'm some drug addicted thief simply because its the only way you know how to express your frustrations that you have a son you'll never be proud of.
I never even fucking knew what you wanted me to be, only that I never reached that.
You're going to die one day and I'm going to hate you for it. I'll cry so hard because of the few good memories I have with you, because of how much I still love you for being my father but hating you for everything you put mother and I through.
I'll only want an apology, nothing grand...just simple. Something I can take and hopefully finally let go of all this.
im so fucking scared of myself right now. I do anything wrong and I bash myself. I punch my head in repeatatly, I punch hard walls, my head has lumps all over it and my hand is swollen the fuck up. My cheeks are puffed up and swolllen but I pass it off as sunburn and allergys. Im terrified im going t hit myself one to many times and die or cause internal bleeding or some other permanant damage. what the fuck is wrong with me im fucking breaking apart
If I don't book them, i will book someone else. If you see me book a show and you aren't on it, its your managements fault. So you can choose to step in and say something or back out and lose the opportunity. i can easily find someone else to fly here.
I think I'm two weeks into no porn and no fap. I forgot exactly what day since it's not like I was looking to start. Just kinda got busy for a couple days and thought "They say if you make it over the three day hump, it gets easier".
My issue is, now that I've turned off the porn, how to people fap to nothing? Just run people through their head or how does that even work? I dunno, seems odd to me.
I'm so sorry, I'm trying to just erase the past. I really honestly miss you if you wanted to know. My heart knows what it feels for you I won't deny it. But I'll accept facts because I know you keep it well real. I think so thanks.
I'm stopping my habit of posting here. Hope you know.
I just got into a car wreck with my fiancee it was a gift from her father whos leaving to sweden now. It was completely my fault, and im lucky i didnt go to jail. I got paid half of what i anticipated on my paycheck, and dont have a car so i dont even know if im going to be able to make rent.
I can see my fiancee is slowly losing interest, and i just dont know if i have the emotional or mental strength to really make things work.
I have a class that im barely passing, and have to bring myself to get through, I have a chronic STI so hanging onto the girl im with is pretty high stakes.
Tldr: my life is crumbling around me, and i dont know if i have the strength to fix it.
I wouldn't even know where to start. I should be healing but I'm not. I'm just sad and numb. It basically came about like the original post. It was a terrible time in my life and my ex wasn't there to support me when I desperately needed it. So I fucked everything up, and I wanted to fix things but he decided to burn bridges before I had the chance.
Wish I knew how I'm supposed to feel. Reluctant to start looking for a relationship, and afraid of trying something with this girl from Uni i really met quite recently. Suicidal and disconnected on top of it. How do I make sense of things?
>>16386507 Yeah, same. I feel an unnecessarily large amount of guilt over it even though he made many more mistakes than I did. I never told him, but the things that were happening in my life then nearly drove me to suicide... and when you feel like that and the person you trust the most isn't there for you what can you do besides turn your own world upside down?
Half of of the guilt is because I keep thinking "If you loved him and didn't want to break up then why did you?". The other half is feeling guilty because I ended up losing the person that was closest to me that knew me inside and out, knew all of my secrets.
But there were too many things in the way for us to work out in the long run anyway. I just wanted to get it over with and not have to wait to get my heart broken. Idk he ended up hating me for it and hasn't spoken to me since.
Suddenly it feels like we've been playing dolls the whole time, I think I was deluding myself or something similar. Truth is that on both sides I have no idea how much of it is real, I can't say anything meaningful until I'm 100% sure of what I'm talking about.
I know it keeps going back and forth but, disregarding what I might I feel for you, I think forgetting it all is the best option at the moment. It's a difficult position I'm in right now and I can't keep getting fucked forever, I need to come out on top sometimes.
Damn, she turned me down for another guy. Was I too late to the game? Did I fuck up? I know we'd be long distance and she'd have more fun with someone local, but damn I fell so hard for her on our first date. I should've driven her home. I should've gone with my instincts. I am so fucking BTFO right now. Damn damn damn
I've dated tons of girls. The longest relationship I've had is definitely up there, and even then, she never made me feel like you do. But it's only been a week since I've asked you out, and even though I've seen you every week for a couple months now, I can't tell you what you're doing to me, so this will have to do.
I can't focus. I can't get work done. I can't go about my day like a normal person. The first thing I think about when I wake up is you. Whenever I try to get any work done, you're always getting in the way of my thoughts and making me think about you. At night you're what I'm wishing I will dream about. I love that you work multiple jobs so you can go to school and do your best to survive, and somehow still always seem to have a smile on your face every time I see you and have a positive outlook. I hate that the last guy broke your heart because he couldn't understand how amazing that makes you. I wish you would try to make more time for me, but I understand that you don't even get to see your family as often as you see me, so I'm willing to wait. I want to share and know everything about you, from the lowest of the lows to the highest of the highs. I want to be there to help you succeed. I want to be there to make you smile and happy. I want to be everything, just for you.
These feelings are driving me insane. I just want to go back to my normal life and continue my snowballing success, but you make it so hard. Whenever I see or think about you, I get anxious, and you make it hard to breathe. I used to think it was just a saying, but you actually do take my breath away. I just want to tell you that I love you, but I can't. Not yet. Maybe some day. I don't even know if that's what this is. However, I promise I will always be patiently waiting for you, and that I will never break your heart. I will only ever have clear eyes for you, and I hope one day I can make you feel the same way.
Funny. I've I had a crush on you for a while. Like 4+ years now. We give each other awkward stares, sometimes we talk, sometimes looking away to avoid the others attention. You probably think I'm a creepy loser. Not far from wrong I suppose. We're almost polar opposites too. You probably ace any academic field but you can't lift squat. You're diligent. You care. Me? I barely could do well in AP Calc when I was in high school. You got a shit ton of friends. I got a few. You're calm, friendly, cool headed. I'm excitable, semi-friendly, and prone to anger. You're everything I'm not.
All I want to say is, I like you. There's something about you that's says, angelic. You're the angel, while I'm just a sorry loser. I'm sorry I don't have the balls to ask you out.
I can't cry. I haven't shed a single tear since I was 12 years old. I literally don't know how to express grief.
I've endured excruciating emotional pain, and I'm still hurting... But I can't find a way to let it all out. Also, I feel like I have no one to confide in. I have people in my life who care for me, but the only person to whom I've ever truly, fully exposed myself to has abandoned me and it hurts more than I would ever dare to admit to anyone.
>>16381930 I'm pretty sure my therapist implied that I was molested by my dad as a child. When I was younger, he used to trim my finger and toe nails, pop pimples all over my body, cut my pubic hair, and shave me. I guess that's where she got the idea.
I have no friends and get laughed at by girls at my university on a semi-regular basis. I would give anything to be attractive.
I desperately want people to find me cool/interesting/intelligent and almost everything I do in social situations is to reach that point.
I believe I posses from a severe Madonna-Whore Complex. I'm terrified to find out why.
The girl who I loved but you just broke up with me through a text message a year and half of time I spent pouring my heart into and you wasn't even woman enough to tell to my face.
I've lost all respect for you like you're a complete loser and everyone you'll date in the future is gonna treat you so shitty. I know you'll regret doing this kind shit so sooner or later karma will fuck you over. I want you know that you're gonna turn into exactly what your mom is woman who's a push over that lets guys walk all over them and cant even make decisions for yourself hell you can't even describe yourself without piggybacking off what other people tell you. Knowing you you'll definitely get yourself pregnant struggle like fuck just like your mom and sister do. Chicks like you don't deserve relationships. Chicks like YOU deserve to be treated like sluts and thrown away once a guys done. Crazy thing is your own dad even warned not fuck with cause even he's figured out the kind girl you are and if that's coming from your father their is no hope for you.
Your just a really dumb, stupid, self centered piece of absolute shit who won't amount to much because you have absolutely no goals no aspirations and no drive to be successful. But through all of that I wish you the best take care of yourself even though you can't lol
I have so many good friends vut i feel so empty ive been trying to get out more talk to more people but i still feel like i lack somethong deep, something special. My ex is banging my roomate. Shes still trying to be supportive. But it feels so hollow when i see hickies on her neck. The voice in my head wont stop screaming how worthless i am, how im a piece of meat to just get fucked and then dropped. Im no good to anyone and that it would be better if i died so i could juat be that a piece of meat still fuckable but at least ill get hurt less.
we spent so much time together simply because we were forced to J. You're a complete outcast and I know life means nothing to you; when I told you my feelings you were surprised and confused that anyone would show interest in you and I understand your reasons for rejecting me. It's not possible to sustain a healthy relationship when we're both in separate psych wards, but we connected so well and I can't stop thinking about you ever since you were transferred. We did so much for each other. Did you just pity me, did you think I was joking? I know you have no self-confidence and you don't think you're beautiful but I genuinely see deeper than that, it just doesn't fucking matter, we understand each other so well. Life has been a sick joke for you but I want to make it happier for you, it would make me feel better too, having some kind of purpose.
Hell J. I don't even know if you really did reciprocate my feelings like you told me, or you're just so scared of upsetting me that you told a half truth. You're the only person who had really cared about me for years. Am I just flocking to you because you paid me attention? Maybe you think that? Or maybe you're scared of getting close to someone?
I just don't understand people. But I can't just be your friend, it hurts.The precious few hours we get outside the units, I can't spend them with you just "as friends". Maybe I'm just being selfish and it would be impossible, but I'm falling so hard for you.
I still think of you as the person that I'm most fond of in my life, the thing is I don't know if it's a good thing to feel considering the entire background. I could have a whole different idea of this whole thing in my head and that's what makes me hesitate.
Generally speaking I don't know what the hell is going on. As far as I know you could be betting who will be dancing with brienne of tarth.
>>16381930 i dont know why i love you still...you have used me and manipulated me so much, and have said horrible things to me...but i cant get over you...i want you back so badly and the thought of you being with someone else is killing me...i just want you back so badly....what the fuck is wrong with me
I woul've said that to her secretely when if I didn't give a shit about the consequences: Hey, I kinda like you. I know you are his girlfriend, and we are all good friends. But I really want to make live with you. I know you want it too, I know it's a stupid idea but we should do it because who gives a shit. We just continue our lives as always but we should share a moment together. You love him so it will be allright, we should do it because someday we might look back and regret it. Making love is human nature right?
Love: I'm so so so fucking sorry for being a cyberwhore. I never thought I woud be the kind of person who does that. You're the only person who has shown honest interest, love and care for me but I'm so fucked up in the head. I'm sorry. I'm going to become a better person, an actually mature woman who can support you when times get though, and someone you can feel absolutely free and comfortable with. I'm so sorry. There are many things I need to change, for both me and you. I'll start by forgiving myself.
I love you and I'm glad that we're together but just knowing that during our break you had a boyfriend and knowing the things you've done with him. I don't know. I can't stand it and it me apart every time I think about it
AHHH I'M GONNA DIE ALONE HAHA I mean fuck me, I haven't had a relationship since I was 18, and it has been almost 2 fucking years, man. Like, am I ever going to ever have an adult relationship? And I don't understand it either, I'm a good person now. I don't really do drugs anymore, aside from the occasional rave, I drink a lot less, I don't think I'll cheat - no, I'm SURE I won't cheat, I'm not a piece of shit anymore, I HAVE FUCKING MORALS. But hey maybe I fucked that up with having flings for the past 2 fucking years, like fuck me, am I really that bad? And I'd say it's the mental illness I have that's killing me, but I got that shit under fucking control, ha. I've become more attractive, I actually dress well, I've cut down smoking, I play video games, I'm intelligent (at least I believe I am), I'm aware of what's going on in the world, I have hobbies... I'm less of a socially inept retard, HOLY FUCK I CAN HOLD CONVERSATIONS NOW, and god damn it, even though I'm asexual, I'm stilling willing to compromise my fucking sexuality and do shit. SO WHY WON'T ANYONE DATE ME? Seriously?! WHY, WHY, WHY. Do I give away sex too easy? Is that it? Fuck me, I'm going to die alone.
I'm so fucking desperate right now, I don't care. And it would be nice to have someone, I'm bisexual, fucking hell, so I don't even care what gender the person is, I just want someone that wants me and will let me love them.
Yeah, shut the fuck up, child. I'm glad that you think two years is a long span of time. Wait until you've only had one serious relationship at the age of 24 that spiraled out of control because she has no idea what she's doing with her life, so she makes up for it buy spending important money on worthless shit she doesn't even need or use. For three years straight.
And then be thirty and haven't been with anyone since. Then you can say you're lonely. But even I'm not lonely - women aren't everything there is to life. Being attached to someone by the hips isn't all there is to this world. Get over yourself.
>>16388328 To me, it feels a long time. What you've gone through is unique to you. Just because your situation is worse, doesn't mean that I can't whinge about mine. I know having a partner isn't everything to life, but everyone makes it seem like it is. And it's so alienating when everyone around you is finding someone, and you're just by yourself. It's the need for constant validation that I want, for someone to be happy to say they are mine. And even though logically I know that relationships are generally a bad fucking idea for everyone that always ends in heartbreak, it doesn't stop me from wanting one, someone to tell me they love me.
im tired of looking for a relationship. im tired of being around people who hate everything, take shit for granted, and can't appreciate shit.
I found a love for EDM at the moment, House music and Techno specifically. The music is therapeutic and i enjoy the raves that I go to alone. life is too short to worry about shortcomings so i'll avoid normies and be my own best friend. thanks r/foreveralone
I want to stay friends, but whenever I look at you I can only think "worthless". I did my best, worked myself to the bone and tried to be understanding even though you were abusive throught our entire relationship.
I love you. You fucking suck, I'll never forgive you, you're barely a passable friend now.
I made out with my roommate's ex of one month after they broke off a 2-year relationship because I was tired of watching her suck the life out of him and I was tired of watching her trying to guilt him back into a relationship.
I love him but I'm willing to acknowledge that he's not ready for another relationship so I'm leaving it at that until we've both grown a little.
I'm glad that she's moving out so I don't have to move my stuff instead.
I've come off as a shitty vulture to all of her friends and some of mine, but you know? If I've lost respect over this, I probably never deserved it in the first place.
I don't like the person I've become, but I don't like what anyone else has, either. I don't know what's wrong with me and I just want to be able to reprogram myself. Stop this incessant need to be liked, stop this fear of change or rejection or failure. Stop looking in the mirror and thinking about how much I hate what I see. But yet I see everyone else and I feel fucking sick. They're monsters, predators, degenerates, and sneaks and I feel nothing but disgust, and yet these are the people I seek approval from. I just want to be able to tell the world to fuck off and leave me alone without that nagging piece of me that still gives people the benefit of the doubt. I'm tired of seeing people hurting each other and then acting like they're still human to you. I want to just, break free from the cycle. I just want a quiet life.
I'm an 8/10, I get along with everyone I meet, people like being around me, I've lost a vast amount of weight, but I still sit around alone at night, too scared to socialize in case someone doesn't like me or I end up acting like an idiot. My gf left me recently and it turns out most of my confidence existed because she was always in my corner of the ring, like a teammate. Now after our unfortunate symbiotic relationship has ended, I have no idea how to interact with people by myself even though I have a magnetic personality. My only parent is a mentally ill alcoholic and I'm scared I'll go down the same path, even though I'm more intelligent. I don't mean to sound cocky, I just have better control of my emotions. If I do interact in a social event, after a few days pass I end up feeling extremely lonely without more contact. I don't know what to do or how to make it stop, I tell myself it's okay to be alone alot, I don't even miss my ex girlfriend, I just miss having someone around
And to think, I was going to go to a therapist soon to dump that off my chest. thank you 4chan
I poured my soul into that relationship for 3 years.
You had the audacity to tell me that I was only in love with the idea, the principle of love, and not you. You had the audacity to tell others that I wanted control over you, that all I did was boss you around. You had the fucking FUCKING AUDACITY to LIE to me straight in the face about how much you cared about me, and break up with me over the phone.
I wanted to marry you, you borderline, dependent, lying bitch. I hope you never experience the pain you've put me through these past 3 months. It's been hell. I rebounded off somebody who deserved better than that, and I feel like shit for it. I thought it would get me over you, it didn't do shit. Now all the friends we shared look at me differently. I feel like everything I built is slipping away. My perfect life I was going to have, it's all gone.
I know I'll be fine, but god damn if you didn't fucking destroy my heart. I hope you enjoy that loser you're with now, that guy who everyone universally thinks is both a geeky loser and a douche at the same time. Maybe that's who you really deserve.
What the fuck Dee? U have been askibg me to go this alumni party at our "high school"(north eurofag here) when you all of a sudden decide to bail me without telling me shit? Wtf? Wasted my plans with good old mates so I could be with u! Wtf is ths dee, I thought u were worth shit
Male, haven't had any luck on pof, okc, or real life. Fucked up every single date in highschool, and all of my few friends moved away. In college now, have made 0 friends.
The only time people even noticed me is when I shaved my huge beard. People said they didn't realize it was even me, they actually thought I was a new student.
Honestly, at this point I love the feeling when people say hello. I'm not shy, I try to initiate conversations, but most are non-receptive.
If I died now, I don't think anyone would show up to my funeral.
I'm ok with it now I guess because I'm taking a large amount of credit hours, and have multiple hobbies. Still I just wish I mattered to someone. Even my close highschool friends are distant now even when I msg them on steam or whatever.
I'm 90+ cred hrs into college, and soon I will live a lonely life. Not uneventful, I have multiple ambitions and things I'm very proud of. I just feel it in my bones that I'm destined to the life of a hermit.
Taking forever to respond to the messages people send you or simply not responding at all makes it look like you simply don't care. It takes mere seconds to do and is the definitive easy mode of social interaction. Waiting one day? Sure. Two days? Fine. Three days? You're pushing it. Four or never? Nigga get it together. Hanging with you in person is great and you're cool as hell so please get your text game fixed as it's all fucked up. I'm actually going to tell this to you in person and not just to a bunch of randoms on an anonymous image board. I may be high.
You're in love with a girl who isn't attracted to you, who lied about dating you, who is still lying about dating you. But you'd still rather have her over me. You are glad to hang out with me, to fuck me, but you'd still rather have her. I won't be enough for you, and I know this, going into it.
I just want to be in love again. I want something stable. I want someone to know me fully and completely, and I want to know them. I just want to feel safe with someone, instead of constantly on edge. I want to be loved so badly, and I want to love back without any fear. I'm so scared I'll never have that again. I'm so scared he was my only chance. We were so passionate about each other and together for so long, and even though he fucked it up, I miss it so much. I'm afraid that now I'm so miserable and jaded and so fucking unlovable, no one will want me again. No one I feel safe with.
k80 It was good, the time we had together. It was the best time of my life. I will always love you. I bawled my eyes out after you left tonight. I never told you that.
You're going to be happy with him. You really like him. For fuck sake the guy is absolutely perfect for you. A God damn angel. Everything you wanted. You struck gold and so did he. Its a miracle for the both of you.
I feel like I'm going to commit suicide soon. I can't not say there's a specific reason for it, however, I just feel it's almost time to on.
I want to see what happens with my life, but I feel like this is my window... or my window is coming soon, and if I pass it, what's the point at that point?
I honestly don't know what to do. I really, really, hate not knowing the future. Granted, whatever happens in my future, I impact every person, I run into by just living, even if it's something insignificant, like, being in traffic or something, but still.
My dreams, the things I haven't found yet... I wish I knew if this was worth it - in my eyes, at least. This is painful. I just want what I want.
I had a vivid dream last night that you really did fuck me with a strap-on, and now I'm fucked over again with feels. The urge is strong with this one. I really would love to just live it up in that dream to be honest.
I don't know what I'm doing anymore. All I want is to feel something these days, with someone who appreciates me for me.
We hurt eachother, but you hurt somebody so innocent and who was already hurt/fucked up.
Please be better. For your future you, for the future people you meet and for me if you'd ever want to even consider being friends or anything more again.
From my experience you should just talk to the person or at least try to at least you'll get real feedback. People are so scared of rejection and hurt but it's better to face it head on. If you put in the effort and got a result at least you tried on your part. Then you can move on if there's no point in trying. Why waste time on people who bring you bad vibes.
>>16389005 trust me you aint wanna do anything more again. I tried with my ex 2 times and got more hurt. and we couldnt even be friends in the end witch kind of hurt. but thats how it goes most of the time. move on and find someone nice who likes you for you and forget about her, thats all you can do in that situation.
There's the problem, can you imagine someone you care about posting on these threads all day so they could find closure but never do? You just want to grab them and take them outside the house but all they can do is sit there and type their wishes away. Even when they are outside this is all they think about. Too extreme I know but internet addiction is a real concern. People have to talk to real people. But most here seem to have social problems and anxiety so the issues go deeper than that. Otherwise they would have handled it or asked for advice and handled it instead of venting here.
>>16389086 submissive much? hahaha. get dom and hurt someone, power feels nice if youve been sub for a while. also what are you drinking man, im with a bottle of vodka right now. been a while. i was gonna stop drinking at 25... never did.
IM GOING TO THROW A TANTRUM BECAUSE WHATEVER I DO WHAT I WANT
I TAKE LIFE SERIOUSLY AND PISS OFF PEOPLE I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HOPING TO GET SOME SORT OF VALIDATION OF MY EXISTANCE EVEN IF I WAS BEING TOXIC TO SOMEONE WHO DIDNT DESERVE IT
I HOPE YOUR SMILE TURNS INTO A FROWN YOU MAGICAL FUCKING CHARMING BEAST OF A MAN BUT IM JUST HESLOUS LIFE IS GOING GREAT FOR YOU BUT SINCE IM SELFISH I WANT WHAT YOU HAVE EVEN IF I PUT NO EFFORT INTO ANYTHING BUT TRY TO PISS OFF PEOPLE I KNEW ON THE INTERNET
OH YOU THINK YOU ARE CHANGE NOBODY CHANGES WITHOUT MY INSECURITY DRAGGING YOU DOWN
I AM TALKING IN CAPS BECAUSE YA'LL NIGGAS BETTER RECOGNIZE
SALT SALT SALT SALT
Crazy part is people who call themselves trolls in real life suffer from the fuckwad condition. Then become suprised when they were just sad bullies all along.
That time of the year where my thoughts go dark. I've been too long without a job, and all in the past were shitty mcjobs. I'm getting older and my parents are obviously sick of my shit and dislike me. I've developed weird anxiety, have become depressed and don't like being around people at all. I've given up on college since I don't think I'm worth it. I'm scared to try any job since the last few didn't work out due to me feeling boxed in and I felt terrible enforcing mandatory pushy sales shit to good people when I knew it was a rip.
I leave my house maybe three times a month. I leave my room maybe twice a day. It's becoming quite apparent to my parents that something's wrong, but they berate me when I ask for help and I leave them be. My father hardly responds to me when I speak now so I've given up on speaking with him.
I try to help as much as possible. Lawn stuff, cleaning, cooking. Hell, I had a garden too with all kinds of stuff that we used in meals.
I just don't know anymore, anons. I at least felt something last month. Now it has been nothing but weeks of feeling empty. Food with no flavor and not even tapping my foot to music I like. Life has become a chore.
Reached that point where I'm done with life. I know it's oh so common to feel suicidal these days, eh been this way for 14 years now and I'm turning 26 on Nov 11th.
School didn't work out for me, still haven't found out what I'm good at, living arrangement is less than ideal (had to move in with my aunt after my mom died), not sure what exactly to do next in terms of life goals and I'm burnt out.
I already planned out the how and when of my suicide plan. I don't want to hear the things do get better speech since it's a lie. A lie that gives false hope.
I have thought about the impact on my close friends and the only family member I'm close with, it's just best this way. I don't want them to continue dealing with me and I don't want to continue picking up the pieces on repeat.
Moving from one state to another didn't do much good either. I think I will just carry out my plan and I'm glad to have this off my chest now.
I'm not one to be so open about my mental health situation or talk to those close to me about it. I don't come on here often, glad I found this thread.
I have a ton of other issues going on that are intense but I won't have to worry about them soon.
My choice for suicide has been around for a long time and after a few attempts, I'm just going to go a different route that won't be a disappointment.
Final semester of uni. Losing motivation. Why are the job prospects so bad? Why didn't I get a job earlier? Why do grades not mean anything? What's the point of making friends without anything worthwhile to talk about? Why are my life skills so shit? I know why. It's because I AM A FFOOOOOOOOKIN SHIET. I LOVE BEING A DUMBASS WHO CANT HOLD CONVERSATIONS AND CANT EVEN THINK STRAIGHT ANYMORE. Love it.
>>16389200 I troll people online because I want to see people suffer through similar insecurities I face. It's not really a tantrum. It's a just a thrill that stems from pent up anger twisted into sadism after years of abuse. I do get validation from being a good troll, yes. Other trolls laugh with me. I'm not surprised and I know I'm just as bad as the people who've beat me down.
Ever since we've met each other, we've been talking nonstop. We'd share our secrets to one another without feeling embarrassed. I'm used to being with you most of the time, but now I feel like you're slowly separating yourself from me. The energy from our chats are fading away. Obviously, it pains me to see you having the same fun we used to have with another person. I just hope that I'd forget you sooner than later.
I feel like there's a lot to say. I know there is. But I can't. Whenever I start to think about my feelings and problems I feel like my chest is full of daggers and razors and every breath I take hurts, and so I desperately want to stop myself from thinking about it.
I've had this problem for a couple years now where I really just don't know how to be social anymore. Like the people I do manage to talk to in public situations get the creepy vibe from me because I either listen too intently and don't speak much or I end up staring into their eyes because I can't help the eye contact.
I also get the whole everyone is trying to tell you to leave deal but no one will talk to me directly. I have some issues with paranoid to begin with and they don't realize how much it messes me up. Any advice?
since i was about 18 i always thought i was destined for bigger things, than the day to day struggle.
i was standing in kings park today in perth waiting for someone. while i was looking over the railing i had this feeling that if i concentrated hard enough i could fly. i tried but couldnt.
the saying ignorance is bliss really gets me. im so jealous of all those people working 9/5 jobs and being content with what they have. i want to be someone, i want people to remember my name when im gone. i dont want to be forgotten.
If I said I don't want you as a boyfriend I would be lying to myself, but when I think of saying yes I can't shake off the feeling that I'm leading you on or making a mistake. I don't want to hurt you if this whole thing is not how I'm imagining. I can't see any other way other than waiting to know how everything works.
>Had stable relationship >Met someone else, mutual 'love at first sight' >Check to see if it's real or just the alcohol >It's still there >Decide to break up and go for this new girl >Keep running into her previous flings, some of whom I consider friends This breaks me up inside. She's basically had a slutty period with people I keep running into and it hurts real bad.
I need ways to cope with this because the feelings for her are still there..
I love you and I love our children, but that threesome told me and proved to me that on my own I am completely unwanted physically and emotionally. You're the only one who gave me time of day in any way beyond platonic.
And now that it's apparent, I feel alone and depressed. My only hope is that our children will inherit your social skills and sexual nature and not my repulsive and unwanted attributes.
It really frustrates me that you're not pulling your weight. I thought we were in this together. At least show some fucking gratitude when I spend 2 months straight drawing and designing. You could at least learn to open a photoshop file and resize an image.
If it's going to be like this for the next 2 years, I don't know that there will be another game. I love you, but get your shit together.
I blame my mother for being an overly shy and weak person. Ever since I was young, she didn't allowed to do most shit people my age did (sleepovers, going to parties on my own, bring friends home to do homework, etc) I think she did this for two reasons. First I'm a grill, so maybe she thought I was or something. Second, she wanted constant control over me.
But wait, everything I didn't get to do when young, its completely ok when my little brother does it. He is the one that constantly disobeys my parents, fails at school on purpose, lies, tells my mother to go fuck herself to her face, but his actions have no further consequences than a simple glare from my mother.
All these years I tried to be a good daughter, but the only reward I get is a crippled social life and a lot of insecurities.
I'm scared for my future. I want to get a job and be financially independent once I graduate but I have a feeling that it'll be really difficult because of who I am, my health, my poor family and the city where I live. And I have almost no experience, so I don't even know what to except. Whenever I talk about it to my family they laugh at me and when I talk about it to friends they tell me they're in the same situation.
You are a paychopath and all your accusations towards me mostly just are out of jealousy. Most of them aren't true, I'm in a better place. Just don't be mad because you wronged me. I forgave you and moved on. I'm friends to those that are honest friends to me as well. People have lives. Move on.
They were worse than me at this point trust me. Try living your life while a car full of clowns always honk at you. Now try smiling at thw clowns when they want you to be scared of them. When you laugh and enjoy your life they get PISSED. Which is the sad part because they are mad they are getting exposed.
>>16390346 No one is really ever jealous of the happiness of another person. If you get off from thinking that, and it makes you happier that someone out there is suffering over you, then wake up and realize how shitty of a human being you are.
No one deserves to suffer, not even over the happiness of the ones they hurt, so fuck off.
im unable to attain any relation to anyone because im afraid they will find out im a loser with no friends. when i see someone i know and like i feel panic and try to avoid the situation or only function like a robot.
Don't know what you're assuming there or what conclusions you are jumping to. Think about it this way, you are loving your life being a good person to others from what you once was. Then try being around people who bring you down for no good reason other than to make themselves feel better. Now be with people who are good people and now the old people want to make you feel bad. You leave and they are mad.
Anyways don't project onto me. Let's move on from this conversation.
I know I fucked up but a promise is a promise and you should keep it I fucked up just as bad as you and I'm getting punished and after I forgave you and didn't ignore you even though I was angry but you just completely dropped me
reposting this here so I can get help from more people as I'm having trouble with this. >super like girl on tinder >she likes me back >we chat, everything is cool >tells me she broke up with bf of 2 years a few days ago, looking for friends >tell her no prob >I give her positive reinforcement and stuff >yesterday >talk more >exchange numbers >skype too >getting along well >she asks me if I can facetime her while she goes to sleep >says it helps her and her ex used to do it >she just needs someone's presence and she was comfortable enough with me that she asked >today >still talk everything's fine >she's really hung up on her ex >like, REALLY hung up I mean, I know it's been a few days. but she's really broken up by it. Saying they were like brother and sister. he told her that she was a female version of him. I don't really know what to do when she's crying about her ex and just gets really emotional about it in general. What do I do?
In a few weeks I'm flying to Germany from the US to meet a girl I met online and have been talking to almost daily with for roughly 4 months. Give it to me straight, does this sound crazy? We're both mid-20s. She's in grad school and I'm on a good path in Finance. I only say that because I hope it makes it seem that we both have our priorities straight. I've been to Germany before and would love to move there. Maybe this is how it can happen. Has anyone here done anything similar?
A girl that's liked me for a more than a few months now has moved on because I was too blind to see that she did like me, until she outright told me.
Part of this is my fault. Like I said, I took too long seeing that she was interested in me, since I'm not very experienced in those matters, and I wasn't there for her in a certain time of need.
The person who was there for her was my brother. I daresay it's his interference between her and I that's caused the most damage, and I knew as soon as he did that it, for her it was him over me. I became more of a friend to her.
Her actions also haven't helped the situation. Despite what she tells me, about caring and not wanting to hurt me, she does the exact opposite with my brother. He and I were at her house for a get together with our friends. I ended up leaving early, I was exhausted, and as soon as I did, she began showing her affection for him, which makes the him over me thing glaringly obvious.
After all of this, I can't stay friends with her. I know she doesn't want to lose me, but if we were to stay friends, all I would be reminded of when I see and talk to her is how things could have been different between us. I would take that guilt home with me everyday, which would cripple me to the point of not being able to do anything.
If you couldn't already tell, I'm young. I need to think about my future, how I'm going to sustain myself after I leave my parents. I need to focus on graduating my senior year. I don't need hopelessness and regret pervading these aspects, and removing her from my life and making sure she forgets about me is the best thing I can do.
>>16390357 yeah i try this because in reality people know and/or dont care about this. but i think because of my low selfesteem and negative selfimage i think that everyone has to have the same view about me. i started to excercise to raise my selfesteem what else is there i can do?
It's hard to convince myself that suicide isn't worth it. All I do is get through the days like a drone. I barely even register what I'm doing. I sleep okay but I struggle to make myself eat. I used to enjoy food but now everything just tastes like cardboard.
I just feel dead inside. Feeling sad, crying.. thinking about how alone I am and what little I have to offer to anybody. I had my fair share of good times and happy memories in life but I think I've reached the end.
I have a friend who I used to work with and we text and stuff pretty often and talk for a bit whenever he comes by my work. Thing is, we never really hang out outside of that scenario. We saw a couple movies together, but he always has "lots of stuff to do" right after, so we pretty much just sit in a theater and then go our separate ways. Anyway, I hinted that that wasn't really my idea of "hanging out" and the only time I ever really tried to set something up I texted him and said something like: >hey, what are you up to today? And he was like: >not hanging out with you, lol I know he was kidding and all, but it still kind of hurt my feelings, being that he's one of maybe three people I would call a "friend." Suffice it to say, I never really tried hanging out with him outside of work again. Wat do?
I guess I've just never really been good at people.
>>16390931 do you have relatives you can talk to? you should talk to a person about this and ask them to help you get help. make it clear that it is immediate! you should read "Suicide as an escape from self" by Roy F. Baumeister that way you can understand what is happening to you right now and what you need to do to stop this. there is always a way.
There's a guy. We've been hooking up for almost a year now. I know I'll never be good enough to be on his arm in public. He's even had multiple girlfriends over the last year, he never took a break from me through them all. But I started to fall in love with him. I just wish he would give me a shot.
But I'm still OK with being the one you call at 1am. Something is better than nothing.
Since 4 chan is the only place i can say this, You know I like you, but you don't know how much I've fantasized about you and I in my old office or against against a wall somewhere. ( it's been like 8 months, sorry) we never had a chance which is what bugs me.
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