I remember how much of a pain in my ass you were along with your little entourage, even going as far as to steal my food and punt me in the gut regularly. As I am a guy, it's basically illegal for me to move, even with you cunts doing shit to me.
Now, for some reason, you're a friend on a social media website. Not only that, but you've treated me like a friend for the short time that I existed there. Why the sudden mood change? Were you just retarded? Was it because your clique disallowed knowledge of anyone deemed 'bad' to them? What the hell?
It's like as if I'm a cuckold or a weird voyeur, except for psychology. I am beyond disgusted and confused for this change. It hurts even more for me to realize that your grammatical skills and spelling has gone to the shitter.
I didn't bring up the past as I didn't want to seem like that guy. Well, thankfully here, I can be that guy. Fuck you for the shit past you've caused me, but thank you I guess for the 180 degree turn.
Dear JL, Even though we only met twice I developed intense feelings for you at our very first meeting. It's probably just transference or butterflies because someone like you actually cares about what I have to say. You're handsome, educated, successful, and determined. I don't even care that you're 19years older than me. You're quite a catch anyway.
I don't know if you have a wife or a family. I do know that nothing will ever happen between us and if it does, then it would never work out because I wouldn't know how to act around a man who has his shit together. I realize now that it was wrong of me to seek you out again after so long, but I promise I won't let you down for the remainder of our time together. I just wish you knew that your words have been a driving force in my life that have kept me going when things got rough. Thank you for being kind to me when I needed it most.. even if it's only because you're being paid an absurd hourly rate. -MM
I can tell you don't like yourself much, but I don't see you trying to change shit. Think. Critically. Nobody will do this for you. I like you and I wish you treated yourself better instead of letting your discomfort fester and lashing out. And, yeah, high school sucks. But soon we'll be gone from here.
Dear D, M, Everybody, I don't know if it's the pressure or the drugs but I am lost. This being lost is pushing my lovers and loved ones over the edge. To function and be complete within this world is not only vital for oneself but for the ones around you. I wish to be a Phoenix to only be met with arrows in the heart and throat. This is the reason why stoics exist. One being cannot change the world alone, only inspire and rise to challenges. I'm sorry for the pain I have caused. The next step is action. A
Hey, Did you ever really have feelings for me? Why do you still bother to talk to me? This shit's stupid. I know it's all just teen angst. But I want to enjoy my last year of high school! And now that I don't have feelings for you anymore, there doesn't seem to be anything left for me to look forward to. I know that once I graduate and get far, far away from this shithole and from you, then this will all become a memory that I'll laugh about when I'm older. But you honestly took so much from me. Yes, I don't love you anymore. I understand that there's nothing like that between us. But, even though I've finally gotten over you, there's no catharsis. I don't like the things I used to like. I never practice. I'm so irritable, and whenever I try to act normal, it just comes out as bizarre. Everything I do during the day is second to sitting here on my bed browsing the internet and playing shitty games on my phone. But hey. I don't love you anymore. You got what you wanted! Be happy! Go have fun with your friends. It's all good.
I wasn't completely truthful with you when I broke up with you. It's true that I couldn't handle it because there were so many things in the way. The distance, your education, money, your mother. And it's true that I felt betrayed by you because you weren't around when I needed your support in the most crucial moment. I needed you too much. Loved you too much. You were so important to me and it was overwhelming. I'm sorry for putting so much trust in you, for burdening you like that.
But anyway... back to the truth. I did tell you that I wanted to end things because I knew I would lose you someday down the line, and I wanted to break our hearts right now than to constantly be afraid of that day approaching. It was all of those reasons that I told you, but I left out something that I couldn't ever tell you: that I wanted to kill myself.
You went back home, then went on your trip with your friends (that you didn't tell me about). I started my new job in an unfamiliar city so far away from home, and I never felt more alone in my entire life than during those first few weeks of that job. The stress got to me and I had no comfort, so I delved into my own deepest thoughts. Something snapped in me and I found myself gazing out the window, along the vast stretches of highway... wondered if I veered my car off the bridge into the deep water below or careened it off the side of the steep hill, if that was enough to kill me. Work dulled my mind to static, but alone in the dark I thought about how I craved to feel the pain of a blade opening my wrists rather than the pain consuming me from the inside and burning what sanity I had left in me.
You were the person I trusted the most, one of the very few people I would sacrifice myself for. You meant that much to me, but I knew I couldn't tell you how I was dying inside. How my soul was clawing at the inside of my skull, desperate for release from the monstrous cage that is "myself." I remember you telling me about one of your ex girlfriends who threatened to slice open her own throat with a pair of scissors if you left her, and how you had to wrestle them away from her.
I couldn't tell you any of it. I knew you would feel guilty and feel like it was your fault. I didn't want to risk the chance of you falling into your own dark state because of me. Instead, I exaggerated all of the other issues and made myself look like a pathetic, brokenhearted girl in front of you. I was overly distraught and emotional because I was trying to cover up everything else while fighting with myself because I never wanted to leave you. I never wanted to lose you.
What I did worked in the end. I must've done a good job of it because I'm pretty sure you hate me now. I remember you telling me that it takes a lot for you to hate someone and to be unforgiving, and I'd believe it. You're one of the kindest, gentlest people I know, and you must detest me enough because you haven't spoken to me since then.
I've only told one person about my suicidal thoughts because I knew they would understand how I feel. They told me that I should try to reach out to you--to tell you what I told them, but I know it won't do any good. You won't say another word to me ever again, I think. It's for the best. I did this for you so you wouldn't have to suffer because of me, and I need to keep it that way.
I never thought it would go like this. a friend of a friend seems so harmless, nothing worth putting a lot of thought into. but I can't believe how much you mean to me now. you were the only person I could talk to after I got out of the hospital, the only person I knew I could open up to. you went from someone I just joke around with during the best of times to someone I know will keep me from drowning in the worst of times. the irony is that you try so hard to make sure I'm okay that you never open up about your own issues. I know you well enough to be able to tell when something's wrong though, and that your confidence is just a little too forced. I just hope that one day I can be the one you let into your walls and rebuild you from the inside out. I'm starting to think that might be what love is. caring for someone so much you want to embrace every single thing about them, flaws and all. I don't care how far away you are, how often you're on the road, or anything else. you're worth it to me, you have been from the beginning
He's telling me that he likes me. Really, really likes me. And i'm just thinking about you, wishing you would pop up on my screen. I don't want to fall asleep to this guy's confession. I want to fall asleep thinking of your goodnights, of you kissing my forehead.
I'm really starting to like you. A lot more than I planned. Holy fuck, you're so cool, and I'm so scared.
But the other night you were so comfortable with me. You introduced me to your friends, and they actually liked me. They all told you to keep me, and you smiled and you looked at me with, I don't know, pride, or happiness, or something. I couldn't tell, but you were smiling and it was wonderful.
And you were amazing, playing. I was so in awe of you. Everyone was dancing, but I was just staring.
I really fucking didn't intend on getting feely for you. I thought this was casual and I didn't give it much thought, but. I'm fucked. I really like you. Fuuuuuck.
At least I get to see you tomorrow. I always try to dress up and look cute, for you. I don't know if you notice, but I hope you do.
What you notice though, every time you lay your head on my chest. You tell me that my heart's beating really, really fast.
But you still keep talking to me, and seeing me. And you tell me I should get more sleep. And you show me how good pizza is when you dip it in ranch. And you watch cartoons with me. And let me bum cigarettes off you without giving me shit. And I still have your vest and I don't want to give it back.
And I've got it so bad, man. But, hey. Maybe you do, too. Maybe.
A part of me died when the bad stuff happened. I think I just retreated so far into my self that I'm never coming back. That's okay, solitary is comfy. I just feel bad because, for some reason, people love me. I know I sound super narcissistic, but I honestly care about others and I don't want them to hurt, because I know how it feels. I dunno. I'd tell you this in person if I could, maybe. Probably not. It's just easier to not explore it. It's already happened. I should just keep smoking and drinking and one day I'll maybe metamorphosize into a beautiful butterfly. And she deserves better.
I can't describe it, though. I can't understand myself, even when I try. You know? But sometimes it's crystal clear on how I am. I just want it to be more...simple and forward. Maybe it is and I purposely over complicate things. But, if I could one day be satisfied, one day be content and not feel stupid and lost and confused and cloudy, well
I can't break up something that hasn't even started, and I wouldn't want to because I feel it could be a great thing. It's just really hard to imagine having a boyfriend, especially one like you. It's too much to take in at once and in this position I'm in right now I can do nothing but keep going back and forth with my thoughts while my head spins around looking for answers.
Sorry if it feels like I'm leading you on but it's the only proper answer I can give you. I just wanna make sure I'm doing the right thing before making this kind of decision, because if I made the wrong move now it could be much worse for both of us in the future.
I barely know you irl, what else do you want me to say? You have no idea how far I would go to help you if you ever need it, but I can't promise you everything. Not like this.
basically this is internal dialogue, i guess more suited to off my chest but who cares. anyway, these past three days have been queer. not bad, i mean, i get to see my best friend every day, and he's so easy on the eyes, i want to kiss him a lot, mostly when he smiles. but shit is getting heated. he's so hostile to my ex fwb, but it's a mutual thing. they both dislike each other. my best friend feels as though my ex fwb is trying to claim his territory with me, gave me examples of how when it's just me and him, ex fwb will come and try to demand my attention. and i wish it wasn't true. ex fwb is acting up a lot more because he knows i have a soft spot for plain goofiness, he's really physical with me, despite our peers. i can't say i dislike it, because i think for a while there i was in love. it's stupid because he had so many months to establish our label, he never did. but now i don't want to threaten the friendship i have with my pal. he's so open and i can tell him anything, it's so cliché and childish, but... i'm still astounded myself that we get along so well, but he's going a bit crazy. he has violent tendencies, i feel. anger... and rage... he's getting a bit controlling himself. ah well. we'll see how it pans out.
also, i had the nicest compliment today, some acquaintance. he said i should try out modelling for alternative shit, but i know that was more aimed at my style and figure instead of my face.
i want him to put his hands to my face for a moment, isn't that too much to ask for? i want a familiar touch. or maybe, "hey, we should date". girl can dream, yes?
Second off, I dunno, it sounds like you had either a one night stand with the guy. Either that, or you both are going to go parasailing in Mt. Everest while holding hands or whatever. Something drastic, apparently.
That's what I meant. I'm NOT trying to offend, I'm just saying this is my thought process.
Now, aside from the drastic step/beyond step, this guy sounds like a J I've met a while ago.
I'm sick and tired of this bullshit game you've been playing with me for years. You don't deserve my friendship nor any more of my time. You don't deserve a single good thing happening to you. You deserve to suffer forever, you can't even begin to imagine what you did to me. Your minor intellect can't even grasp the concept of distinguishing between right and wrong. You're too dense to even recognize that you're making mistakes. You're the biggest piece of shit I've ever encountered. Last week I've lost another relative to cancer and I seriously regret that it wasn't you.
Fuck off and die. Nobody will shed a single tear for you.
I often wonder how you are getting on.I think about you every once in a while.Has your life been good?
I wanted to write this letter,to explain why I pulled away from you.We both had strong feelings developing.We had so much in common.Attracted to each other.
I remember we would sit on the call centre floor and try to catch each others eye.I'd often look up,to see your beautiful smile glowing across the table and it lifted me from the work day funk.
I wont lie.I was hooked the first time I met you.Slim frame,blonde hair,blue eyes and the cutest laugh.I loved how you used to always give me a lift home and how awkward our goodbyes were.How we talked about everything,flirted like crazy and inbetween.
The last time I saw you,was the Halloween disco.You were dressed as a sexy clown.My jaw honestly hit the floor.Then you asked me to fix your skirt for you and i couldn't refuse.It was a great night and i wanted to go back with you.
We both wanted to.I couldn't,even though i wanted to.I was trapped in a relationship i didn't want to be in.I had a daughter on the way.I didn't want to be with her but i didn't want to lose access to my kid.
I wish we had met later in life.That we were both single.I wanted to message you but i don't want to try,relive the past.What if you have changed?
I hope you read this.If not,i wish you all the best and hope you find happiness.
It will be two months in a couple days since the last time we talked. Since you told me you needed space to work on yourself and not feel like you've been leading me on. It has also been nearly three months since you broke up with me.
I stared at my phone for three hours last night trying to figure out some way to talk to you, I went to poke you on Facebook as a "hey, I'm still here", but you have one from me that is still outstanding. I miss you dearly, and I hope you are well.
I even typed a long text message, then deleted it as I'm not even sure you remember me or have my number anymore.
I am still very much in love with you, M. I've written posts here to you before, so I won't copy/paste what I've typed to save you the trouble from my repetition and reiteration.
There have been so many times I wish you were here, holding me, or other lovey dovey shit that we used to do.
Oh well. I hope you talk to me soon, I feel like all of this is driving me insane.
Since I haven't been able to see you in person for a while, I just wanted to drop you a quick note and say thank you. When we started talking back in February, I never thought that it would have gotten this far. I wanted to thank you for being a part of my life.
Many times, I have tried to get you off my mind. The truth is, there isn’t a day that goes by that you don't cross my mind constantly. My world has been a much happier place since meeting you.
I know that you are going through a rough patch right now but I just want you to know that I still care for you a lot and I won't allow what you are going through to let me love you any less. I want to tell you that there is nothing to be ashamed of. We all hit rough spots. I just have to remind myself of what you are going through. Sometimes I forget and I am sorry. I still get butterflies in my stomach every time we meet up.
I am thankful for all the moments that we have spent together and all of the fun things that we have done. I hope that there are many more fun times ahead. Some day soon I just cuddle up with you and never let you go. I never thought, when we first met, that I would ever feel this way about someone. Again, thank you for everything. I hope that I cross your mind on occasion and that you still want me in your life.
You are a fucking liar. A Fake. You lied to me and tried to make me sympathetic for a completely fabricated past that you created. I never lied about myself, but you just go out seeking other peoples sympathy so that you matter to the world and that you are not boring. When in fact you are boring. I can't believe I fell in love with a completely fictional personality that you created, and you think you can get away with it. And now you're jealous and angry at me because I give other people more attention thank I give to you. I don't do it intentionally. I talk to other people more because you are not the 'interesting' person you put yourself out to be. And worse of all you are a liar. I hope you find happiness, it could've been with me, but now you will never get that opportunity.
Why won't you stop with this childishness, your false assumptions at this moment and your nonstop anger towards everyone you expect something from? Is it because you were hurt? Is it because you were used to this environment?I don't want this for you or myself. I wasn't perfect neither. For you to judge me from a distance? Alright that's your right but don't attack me when I haven't seen you in a very long time. And we're all just living our lives. I tried to be a friend.There's no peace in this situation or whichever resolution or conclusion you are trying to express. I know what you have said before and how you have attacked me behind my back. It's life, I deal with it, I have no problems with challenges. I learn from it and use it as motivation. So thank you.
I was hurt too and there's no taking the past back. If I made you feel bad I'm in the wrong and I tried to make things right. I love my friends and family. We are all good people and maybe you are too. Please let the grudges go. We need closure and I understand if you want to hear this in person like adults should. And I really want that but I also trust myself in knowing that these commucations are not done with good intentions at this point.
Seeing you and everyone around you at this moment is not what I want to do. Maybe this is farewell. Respect is earned not given and that's true. Things aren't the same and won't be and I'm happy everyone is doing well. I'm happy for myself for the life I'm given as well. I hold no grudges or negativity.
I love you and loved you honestly deep in my heart but I also I'm going through challenges in life and I'm torn. In a way even as stupid as it sounds that we are connected. Only way I could have expressed it was through ways I'm sure you are familiar with. I won't say anything anymore but I feel love for you but maybe I shouldn't I'm not asking or expecting anything from you.
I'm done writing and reading here I got it off my chest, Charles
F.M I'm not sure why you think I'm holding any grudges, I'm pissed but it's not at anyone in particular.
J We can try to make this work one day. I still think you're an amazing person but it's just too difficult to imagine an engagement at this point. I need to grow up and understand life a little. It has nothing to do with sex, I'm sure I would be more than happy with our sex life.
I think of you everyday, knowing I'm the last thing on your mind. The urge to talk to you daily is killing me because it gives me some normalcy in this intangible cage. I also know what you have been through, much much more than I should, and do not wish to drag you down for you have moved on to better things. Feeling nothing but numbness, anxiety, and rage when one is supposed to be learning mindfulness, to forgive and forget, is bloody frustrating. No one wishes to listen anymore while I have grown tired of speaking. Chemical comas are not sleep, induced smiles are not happiness. However, I do not know how to take the next step. A
You've been on my mind for quite a while, and I care more than you think. Expressing the thoughts I have doesn't come easy, and I feel as if everyone is against me. Just wait and you'll see that everything about you brings me joy, and I'd do anything to make this work.
Why do make everything so complicated? Why cant anything with you be simple and easy?
Whenever i try to make anything right in my financial life and i turn too you for help you turn me down. And when I say turn me down I mean throw me down, because thats what it feels like. You throw me down to the ground and when I get back up, you beat me right back down. I get up, and you beat me down.
On repeat for all my life.
You are supposed to be my friend. You are supposed to be everyones friend. You are supposed to be there to help us but you never are. I really really really cant understand why you have to make everything so complicated.
I hate you, but what i hate more is the fact that you are not a human being with feelings and therefor will never read this and get your feelings hurt. I really want to hurt your feelings. If theres anything i hate more than this is the fact that this wont change. I am going to have to deal with you and your disgusting shit on your conditions for the rest of my life.
Boss Thanks for everything, my mind is slightly clearer now and I will make good use of your investment. It's just hard to focus right now, I'll be better when things are better. I'm hyped as hell but it still feels like I'm on vacation hihih I'll probably work on the art project, it's less tiresome atm tbh
L Why don't you see how much I just want to say yes and be done with it? Not mater how hard I try I can't stop considering everything else. It's too complicated and any answer would be a shot in the dark. I really don't know what else to say.
I love you but you're a stupid irresponsible bitch and i'm never gonna forget all the stupid bullshit me and my siblings had to go through because of your shit. Remember when you visited my brother and I in that foster home and you kidnapped him and abandoned me? I sure fucking remember. I know something terrible happened to him too, after you took him away because when he inevitably returned to my foster home a year later, he wasn't my brother anymore. he was a fucked up 7 year old who liked to rub on on his little 6-year old brother fucking dick. How does a kid his age know about shit like that? I know why, its because you're stupid fucking irresponsible idiot who let him get hurt in a way that i know scarred him for life. He's dead because of that mom. He wanted to be a fireman, and he seemed like he was going to make. I bet that charge of him going to juve in his teens for showing his dick to his neighbor's little boy came back to haunt him and so the faggot hung himself. This is probably why I prefer other men too. I haven't told you that but i will if I ever see you again. If you ever actually do come up to Eugene, the first thing i'm going to tell you is that you are seeing me only because I allow it and you're pretty much dead to me. I wan't o give you a chance, i know people make mistakes; I'm willing to forgive, but i don't think you deserve it.
Fuck you for going to prison. I remember you were pretty cool and I learned some important things in the brief few years i stayed with after the foster homes before you fucked off to prison and i never saw you again.... I really needed you dad, I needed you in my life... I don't know if you're even still alive but you, like mom, are pretty much dead to me as well. Rest in peace you fucking nigger. I love you.
Sincerely, your son.
PS. Leah, my beloved sister,
I don't talk to you anymore because you will never be able to understand. You're kind of a bitch too tbh. Love, your brother
You and mom played a huge part of fucking my childhood up. You're part of the reason I'm so fucked up. It wouldn't have been as bad if you hadn't have came back, I wish I never saw you again after you left. Before you came back, I still had some good memories of you. Now? Now I don't. You're dead to me, you piece of shit. All I can do is try to forget you.
I am giving up starting today. It doesn't matter if you come around tomorrow, a month later or a year later. I'm done. I told you how I felt. I showed you how I felt. I understood your grievances and allowed you all the space you needed, but now I'm done. In truth, it may be that I'm doing this as a last attempt to force your hand or make you feel something for me, and that makes me feel terrible. There is no way we could begin any kind of relationship like that. So, I have to be done and mean it this time, which I will.
I feel so embarrassed and ashamed of myself for the pitiful displays I've shown you in order to get my feelings across. No more. For my sake, there can be no more. For my dignity and pride there can be no more. I'm sorry, but at the same time I'm not sorry. You're losing someone who really cared about you and would give you everything if you let her. But you're choosing the path of apathy. Of a miserable existence of living one day at a time taking simple pleasures as they come and go. Never getting too attached, yet never letting go too much. I'm sorry, but I cannot live in that world. Life is for bigger emotions than that.
So goodbye. Goodbye to my old self who was weak to you and embarrasses me still. Goodbye to you who will never feel anything for me. Goodbye to this chaper, my I never relive it.
P.S Thank you for the movie date. I was able to hug you and feel the closeness of our bodies at least once. I think I can go on so long as that small joy is with me.
dear k, This ldr gig is quite alright and im unsure how i will cope if we get back together. On the other hand i dont know how long i will be able to deal with only seeing you every once in a while. 3 years is too much. No way ill leave you though, youre literally my only interest. your beloved
Don, I know that in the grand scheme of life, what we have between us is not meant to be anything grandiose. We won't get married, or have kids, or even live together. We'll never get to be a couple, hell we've never even had sex. But for those fleeting hours every few months, (where we hang out and eat pizza and talk about how we'd have fun in a Firefly RPG together), I breathe you in and feel like I've come home. I can't put my life on hold, and neither can you. But I hope we can keep sharing these small pockets of suspended time, because honestly? They're the only things that keep me from driving into a tree. I will always keep a small candle lit for you in my heart. And sometimes it hurts to feel that warmth, but it lets me know that I'm still capable of feeling, and sometimes the pain is what grounds me in reality. I will probably never stop loving you, and even though I can't be your lover, I hope that I can give you back just a fraction of what you've given me. Jess.
You told me a few days ago you want to see me again but not now due to being taken off of you medication. You say your mood swings are bad. You go from loving everyone one minute to wanting to kill someone the next.
The question remains. When? I care so much about you. I can't put it into words. I told you I wanted to be with you through thick and thin. This is one of those times.
I want to see you again so bad it hurts. I don't want sex. I just want to hug you and never let go. Its getting fucking cold out too and you loved to cuddle. That's all I want. Nothing more. I just want to see you again.
hey, just saw your exgf at the store. She is really, really pretty. She was also on her phone, smiling a lot. I heard that you were texting and hanging out with here again. Maybe it's for my own insecurities that I think about those depressing stuff, but I've felt that you never loved me as much like her. I'm not rather cute, nice, pretty or beautiful like her. And I've felt really pathetic for going out to an alley to cry then. Hope you two be really happy.
sorry for deleting you all off of Skype and everything. I was in a weak moment and had enough of everything. I don't want people to see me like this and I don't want to go through the trouble of explaining my reasoning, or lack thereof.
I hope things go well for all of you and I'm sorry for being a copout.
Hey. I sincerely hope that you value my friendship as much as I value yours. I hope you don't think that I'm just trying to get with you. If I were I would have asked you out a long time ago, and I have a lot of respect for your and his relationship right now. I hope everything goes well with that. I hope that you keep me around because you like me and not because you pity me. I hope we keep in touch as long as we can. I hope your fashion design career takes off. I hope everything goes the way you want it to, you deserve it.
C, I wish it was a little easier to talk to you. You seem nice and are really pretty, but goddamn getting a conversation going is just out of the question. I can't tell if it's because you're intentionally avoiding talking to me, or I'm just really shitty at conversation. Either way, the result is several hours of standing around, quietly waiting for something to happen. I really wish we could at least shoot the breeze once in a while. Judging from your keyring we're probably into the same nerdy shit. Why not chat about it sometimes? -J
I had so many hopes and dreams. I wanted to help when I only hurt. Living within the moment is difficult when dreams are all that comfort you in the mind. Reality is a sham and I don't know how to operate within its web of obligation, tradition, and honor.
I'd wish you'd stop fucking around with my feelings and just come out and tell me whether anything is going to happen or not. Don't think I can't read between the lines when you say 'I was just hanging out with a friend' and then later in the conversation it turns to 'friends'. Did you lie to me when you said you wanted a relationship and that you just weren't ready? Or did you find someone else and are too scared to tell me? I don't give a shit, just let me know either way. Quit stringing me and my feelings along so either I can open the box or shove it away forever inside my head. Don't think I don't know other women are attracted to you and keep me hanging on with words and promises and maybes. It's either yes or no. And I don't know about you, but I've never met someone else who completely understands me the way you do and I think if you'd open up you'd realize we're meant to be.
I'm losing my goddam mind thinking about you. I don't know why. The other girls mean nothing next to you. I wish you would fall into my arms and tell me you love me then and there. I've been burned too many times to risk showing you any more affection than I have. I'm obsessed with you.
I kind of dig you Andrew! You have a nice smile. It feels like I'm looking at the sun. Im sorry if I kind of act really weird, I'm just really awkward nervous around a lot of people. I guess its true when they call me eccentric. I hope you say yes to playing music with me. I thonk it would be nice.
Youre a fucking whore and i cant believe that i was ever friends with you. Out of all the times you fed me lies and made me feel anything for you.. I wish i would of just never gave you the chance. stop trying. You should of killed yourself already but the attention is too good isnt it?
A You know, a blunt no would've sufficed, but instead, you're leading me on. I'll think of clearing things up with you on Friday, as you've seemed to slowly back away as time moves onward. Although it'd be nice to have a date with you, I see you're implying otherwise.
A, I'm sorry we broke up. We weren't compatible in a relationship, but god damn being with you was the best sex I've ever had and I still crave it, even after 10 months of being apart. What I wouldn't give for just one more night with you. It'll probably never happen, but I think about it all the time. J
I don't really want the last thing I say to you to be an argument. Truth is, I still love you more than anything in the world. I think I was just trying to fool myself into thinking 'it's just sex' to try and feel otherwise. But I really loved hanging out with you again and being able to talk with you. But I felt like we were getting too close, like we were falling back into our old ways and I wasn't prepared to deal with that hurt again. I fell back into old bad habits of forcing myself to hate someone when I feel they're getting too close, and I felt like that was justified given our history but it wasn't. To avoid hurt I hurt you to just get it over and done with but really now I'm just miserable. It feels like breaking up all over again. As much as I'd want to give us another shot if it was ever an option, I just need to move on with my life and I don't know if I can do that if you're in it because I'm always going to want you. I think by us hanging out so much and being so close, that made me feel like it was a real possibility when it probably isn't. I've sent back your present. I don't deserve it. Do something nice with it yeah?
Why don't you have the courage? Is it because we'll associate you with someone familiar in our lives with your post/doxxed, or is it that you don't want to be judged by the men in masks. Because you sir, as am I, are donning a mask.
Well, to be fair, what I speak of here doesn't usually represent the me IRL either, if that makes sense. You may think you hate yourself, but that depends on what you've done. So long as you've not caused great harm to yourself and others, you're cool.
Just because you're staring into a mere reflection of yourself within these writings doesn't mean you should be ashamed of it. I mean, hey, this is a Indonesian Scrabooking site, who the fuck would care? lol.
Besides, it's fun to just freestyle write your thoughts all over the place, because anonymity just has perks like that. No one will truly judge you, for you are within a sea of like 7 million people, as am I. Even better, you and I both know that those we know IRL don't really browse here.
So really, relax buddy. You have nothing to worry about here.
Since we met 5 years ago you have become my closest friend, I cherish your familiarity and company. You’re humble and kind demeanour reminds me that good people still exist in this world of vapid boys and girls. When I’m with you I feel like I belong somewhere.
When I met you, your talent and discipline in every task you undertook inspired me to better myself in a bid to keep up to you – though it was in vain. The fact that it took me four years to learn that you had been on scholarships all of your life made me appreciate your background and was testament to your selflessness. Since having met you I have become fluent in another language, learned to play a new instrument, achieved scores in high school to get me into the best university in the country, received internships and job offers, made tens of thousands of dollars, and read dozens of books - I’m still an idiot compared to you.
One day I hope to build something great, whether it’s a fortune or a building to stand in our city’s skyline. Whatever I create will be a tribute to the impact you’ve had on my life. I wish I had more to offer you, I pray that I will still be relevant in your life as we both grow to be successful in our respective careers. I hate that you don’t have the capacity to love me, I doubt there will ever be anyone who can do for me what you have, I would rather be alone than settle for anyone less than you.
I’m so fortunate to have met you, and grateful you still consider me a close friend. It’s insane that I can’t move forward but all my gut’s telling me is to standby and support you if you ever need me. In the meantime, I will bury myself in work and continue to build wealth to dull the ache of your absence.- I’m sorry, you never asked for this
Pj, you keep making the same mistakes. and then you keep trying to fix them by memorizing coping strategies, you never confront the problems. this monday was the breaking point for me, I meant every word and I will not apologize. again you are not going to understand how or why but compound your issues. I told you why that life isn't for me anymore and I meant every word I said last night. stay away from me. R
I should be able to just let go, but unless I can cut you out of my life for a while, I can't move on. I'm trapped here, trying to bury these feelings and failing.
Part of me hopes that maybe a few years down the line, when I'm not such a fucking baby anymore and we're not in different stages of life, you'll give me a chance. I know it's wrong to feel this way after you said nothing will happen, but I can't help it. I suppose as long as I don't act on anything, the feelings will sort themselves out eventually. I hope.
It's hard for me to put in words how much I love you, you fucking nerd. Just know that you have someone in your life who really loves you and would be there for you, always. You inspire me every day to become a better person, and I would do anything for you. Whether you choose to take me up on that or not is up to you.
Wtf is wrong with you, stop getting upset for no reason. Stop creating drama where there is none. Jesus, fuck off. Just fuck the fuck off. I have enough to think about as it is without having to worry about not upsetting you sonehow. Maybe it's a good thing you don't want this to last.
You are special beyond words or explanation. I wanted you for all that you are. I NEVER wanted you only for sex. I am sad to see someone that I looked up to and admired walk out of my life. You were an inspiration to me and I am truly honored to have spent part of my limited time of this life with you. The last 7 months have been the best I have ever had.
I hope you meet a wonderful person. I hope that when you meet this person it makes you feel the way that I feel about you. I hope that whoever this person may be, that the thought of losing this person in your life terrifies you. I hope that when you meet this person all thoughts of building emotional walls and running goes away. You deserve nothing but pure happiness! Even though you said it scares you, I hope some day you find true love. Love is the only way to grasp another human being and see their own true self. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless they loves someone.
I want you to know, I will always be here for you. If you ever need to call for any reason, don't think twice about it. I don't care if it is at some odd hour of the night, if I am sleeping, at the gym, or doing something extremely important, it will be worth putting things on hold just to talk to you. If you ever need a place to stay, I will always keep the light on for you. You are always welcome at my apartment. I just wish I had the chance to embrace you and give you a hug one more time. I don't know when we'll see each other again or what the world will be like when we do. We may both have seen many horrible things. But I will think of you every time I need to be reminded that there is beauty and goodness in this world.
I love you D. I just wish I could tell you in person one last time.
>>16399681 You did what you had to do. It will always sting but I commend you for it. As someone who cut people out of his life when I was seemingly on a one-way path to suicide, I've learned that some things can never be the same again. He "hates" you because what happened was probably incredibly confusing to him and that doubled the potential pain, and hate is one of the easier ways to cope with all of that. I hope things are somewhat better for you.
>>16405802 Good lord its not happening, quit hanging on to something that isn't even a possibility. She doesn't like you dude, find someone else who will give you the time of day and respect you for who you are
You were the very first friend I made here and you mean so much to me. I'm tired of hiding my feelings for you, but I can't tell you because of current circumstances and I'm scared to death that I'll lose you as a friend if I do. I just like you so much and I don't see myself being with anyone else. You and I have had some of the most real conversations and we've gotten so close, and I want to tell you how much you mean to me. Sometimes I even think I've fallen in love with you. I just want to be with you.
P.S. Keep on fighting. You and I both know hard depression can be, but you'll get better, I know you will
We met once about a year ago at a school-sponsored event and while it may have been the thrill of seeing each other's performances on stage and wowing each other with our abilities, I still haven't forgotten about how much we sort of, I dunno, clicked that day. Again, it might have been the incredibly good vibes permeating the place, but I wish we would've known each other a little better than that one fleeting moment.
What a time. What a great time. Words can hardly describe the happiness you've introduced into my life. I still find it a damn shame this had to end the way it did. Our first date is still fresh in my mind, it always will be. From the neverending butterflies in my stomach on the train ride over to Grand Central, to our immediate kiss upon first sight and you never letting go of my hand the entire time we were together that day. The joy within me knowing I wouldn have a girl like you as my girlfriend is still unmatched to this day. You're still the only woman who has made me feel that happy, and hopeful for the future. I can only hope I had at least half the effect on you as you did me. You changed a lot for me, I just wish I could go back and do things differently. Show you how much I appreciated you, take you our more, hold you without the intention of letting go, I wish I could've treated you the way you deserve to be treated; like a princess.Give the magnets to someone you feel has the right to see your face everywhere. I still have on in my wallet, and it will stay there for a very long time.
You need to know, E, that I'm here for you still. I want to be there, I know that I come off as cold lately, especially Wednesday, and I'm so sorry. You don't need that, we don't need that. I get so excited at the chance of seeing you that when the chance disappears, my disappointment overwhelms me. I shouldn't be so rude to you ever, you were never rude to me once. I'm straining our friendship that I truly value, please forgive me. If you need me, call me, text me, anything. It doesn't matter if I'm sleeping, going through my own problems, or even if I'm angry at you. If you need somebody, I will be there for you, no matter how big or small your problem is, I will be there for you always.
I still have slight hope that in the future, if the stars align just right, that we can maybe try again. In a perfect world....
You're poison...and yet I can't stop craving you, wanting you back in my life. My hands want to reach out and touch you, but I know they would be burned by your touch. You're a deceptive, clever snake. Borderline in your body, borderline in your blood. It runs in your family. Borderline makes for the most passionate love, but it makes it fade away like it was nothing. That passion still burns when I think if you, but you brought me more pain than joy, and ultimately deserted me.
And like a sponge, you will soak up the warmth boys give you, and then when you grow tired, you cast them away. Really though, you seek change. You'll never be able to stay in a stable relationship because by you're very fiery nature, you are a relationship nomad. You will go to one guy, after another, until less and less guys go after you, and you are old and alone.
As you lay abandoned in your old age, will you remember me? Or will I just be another boy on the giant pile of boys that touched you. One of a million snowflakes gathered together, none more important than the other, equally worthless in your eyes---your eyes that can never settle on one thing, and will always be wanting more more, more.
You ruined me. I can't trust anyone or get close to anyone anymore. You say that you needed me but you fucking don't. What's the fucking point of saying that shit? Huh? For my attention? Well congratulations you fucking got it! You say you've changed, that you've grown up but you haven't. You're still the same person from when we were together. I don't know why I bothered. I thought you needed help. I thought you wanted help. I opened my fucking heart for the first time in my life, and that's what I get? It fucking ripped to damn shreds again. The fucking mental scars I have from you are real. But I refused to listen to them shouting at my face to turn away from you. I refused to listen to my friends about you. The people that actually care about me, and I turned my back on them again for you. I don't know what the fuck you want from me. I'm not going into the fucking playpen again where you can just come and go as you please. I don't deserve this shit. Not again. I want to die. You made me realize that no matter how much someone loves you, they will still hurt you. They will still do everything in their power to make you feel pain. The only reason why I haven't killed myself is because I hold out hope that someone will love me and actually mean it. You say it and you believe it too. You don't know what love is and I pray to whatever god will listen that I don't either. I hope that you realize that actions speak louder than words and your actions killed me.
>>16407226 It was distance, and a mutual understanding and desicion. I live in the Upper West Side, she lives in Yonkers in New York. It's about 2 hours of travel via public transport. We can't see each other much at all, it's tougher because I work 50 hours a week and she goes to school, we have no lined up days off.
>>16407289 Ehh.. I'd say leave it be then. You mutually broke up, it wasn't going to work. It'd probably just be upsetting since there isn't a way to fix things. If you're keeping in contact (not generally recommended but people tend to try regardless) you could still apologize for being upset Wednesday. Keep it shorter though.
Your line >You don't need that, we don't need that is true about the rest of your letter too. Though, that's my take on it. Don't really know either of you.
Girl, you're the most boring, basic bitch evar. Like, literally, you're mentally 13 years old, highly unexposed to enough of either media or society to the point of social retardation. You're so boring when it comes to conversation, it makes me look godlike in comparison to carry on one. It's not just that, either, it's the fact that you post selfies regularly and you barely really talk at all other than in short bursts, which is fine if it actually wasn't too short. You barely talk about your life, how that's been, interests, and all that gay shit. You know how much I've gone through since our last actual encounter? No, but that would be fine if you evolved as much as I have. I've learned to thrive in the depths of society, climbing out like a beautiful moth at the end of it all. I really wish you and I actually had real conversations, not just the following: (1):'hey' (me):'hello' 'how r u doing?' 'fine, class is kicking my ass, that's all' 'me to'
Literally, this is all that resorts to. It pisses me off for it to be so simple. I don't ask for intricacies or super-duper complexion, just a decent talk about the weather or how the Raiders are doing, SOMETHING.
People disgust me. Going on Facebook and seeing them posting pictures and updates of their lives really annoy me. It's like they're rubbing it in my face. It doesn't matter anymore anyway because soon I'm leaving this shithole and I'll be free.
Tony, You know what? Honestly I regret not getting to know you, I was too much of an introvert towards you. Wow you were so amazing! I admired you from afar as you did to me. The moment I saw you step into Mr. Herreras classroom,I was starstruck. When you first spoke to me I was instantly captivated by your personality. I feel bad I pushed you away everytime youd try to strike up a conversation. I miss you up until now and I still dream of you. Your sense of humour, intellect ,looks , and perception of the world is just mind blowing. I miss you Claudio, I really regret not getting to know you more.Everytime we'd talk, id wonder where you've been all my life because You sure knew how to strike up a conversation and keep a smile on my face:).You were my biggest high school crush ever and if I were to see you again...I would tell you how much you mean to me. I just know for a fact you liked me back, but I pushed you away cause I felt you were out of my league, but I should've tooken advantage at the time to really get to know your beautiful soul. I miss you so much it hurts at times:/ -J.C
Shartelicious- i know you're donutted on your dog bed.
right this instant.
ready to protect in a- hey you're getting up to sense things and resituate.
>love you so much, man. you didn't know it but you were around when i was a millisecond past dying. everyone cherishes that talent of yours. you're sweet. words can't describe how cool you are. you're a fucking nerd, too.
the truth is you're not as tough as you put off. i cared for your ass when you cried for your parents. "you're welcome" never crossed your mind. just kidding.
i miss beating your massive butt and tiring you out. you infant.
Another day in the house, another day spent fighting the voices and suicidal tendencies. Why should I keep breathing today? Why shouldn't I finally cross that bridge to the spirit world finally opened by the date of Hallows Eve? Love and lovers gone, hate and revenge fill my soul; that's no way to live. A
to C: I'm really sorry I broke your heart, I regret it now because I think I'm in love with you but I don't think you feel the same anymore. honestly? that's good, it's for the best I think, we were both at really bad points in our lives when it started and I'm still kind of sick. I miss how much we used to have in common, I think about you a lot still even though we only talk from time to time when I'm drunk or high, and I always have to be the one to say hi first. you still say you like talking to me, but I don't believe you because you don't care enough to say hi to me. sorry. I wish you still wanted to talk to me. I also wish you still loved me, but it's for the best and I get why you don't. I wouldn't either! I wish that my feelings would go away honestly. they're fucking annoying. I wish I wasn't in love with you to J: sorry I ruined our friendship by talking about C so much. I mean that's not all that went on I guess, and I'm really glad we're not friends anymore because you were fucking annoying and acted like we were dating even though I specifically said I wanted none of that, but still, sorry about the whole C thing to A: sorry I ruined/am ruining our friendship by talking about C so much. to be honest I have no one else to talk to about it, I'm really sorry for burdening you with that, even though you said it's exciting and that you don't mind. I think you do. anyways i need to stop because I really want to keep being your friend, you're so cool and I admire you so much, I hope you know. I really hope you don't hate me, we haven't been talking as much in the past few days, I know you've been busy but I really hope I didn't fuck up! I'm sorry if I did though I probably deserve it because I'm a dumbass to B: I'd probably like you if I wasn't so hung up over C. sorry!
How many times should I come back to even say it here. You are not talking to anyone in these threads or to anyone in missed connections.
This habit is preventing certain people from creating genuine and healthy relationships with people who are actually in their presence. That's what I'm torn about telling you. If people are meant to be they're meant to be. Force it and you'll only push people away. If we keep denying ourselves happiness hoping one person will love us; then what happens if they can never love us?
What if someone loves you and love can never be patient? Then you let it go. Let it go and allow yourself to be happy alone. He/she will be there when you are ready. Trust me you will find them. Be ready, so when you do they'll want you too.
Truth from experience. Never give up on yourselves anons. Follow your dreams niggers. Pop pop
Goodbye Internet, C
Just had to say it to make the silence clear. I have too much to handle at the moment and I have to focus. I'm sorry I love you.
You don't need to sugarcoat anything, I prefer it when you say it as it is. I'm not exceptionally sad either, just tired of reading the same things every day. It feels good to take a break after being judged 24/7, most of the time I don't have any interesting or creative input so it's better to stay quiet than keep spilling unnecessary shit on anyone's face.
I can't tell you how you should judge me either and that's all you talk about so why should I even try. Make up your own judgement, I can't even find a way to defend my actions anymore lol
>>16407258 Hey, Anon, this is going to sound weird but I was literally in the same situation as you are judging by your choice of words, when I was younger. I don't know the full story, but what I can tell you is if he made you this upset, and even two times over, he isn't worth chasing, because he will do the same exact thing. He will play with you, you will fall for it, he will say he loves you, and then he will crush you all over again. You'll tell yourself you're broken, you'll mope, you'll try to convince him the relationship is worth salvaging, but he'll brush it off. You may start drinking, and smoking weed, making bad decisions, but I promise the phase passes quickly. Or it did for me, atleast. Took me 6 months to do it, but I was okay. I felt strong, and knew I did the right thing. He tried to get me back again after having a kid with his ex, but I ignored him each time he tried. I want nothing to do with toxic waste. But don't fret, anon, I promise that one day you'll find the one you were destined to be with. I have. I actually found him three years ago, when I was 18. And now we're engaged and living together. We made an LDR work for 5 moths before meeting up and inevitably living together in the course of our first year, and now we've passed year two and are still strong, if not stronger, than before. Hang in there, it's going to be okay.
You should've said that you're all full of it Filled with words said with absolute regret Forget it the next day, well they won't The finishing touch comes in a nice package Delivered, with love, I just need your stamp As proof, someone will believe it
I'll take you anywhere you'd like And when it's done I'll say thank you Gentle people always live a while But the rage kills the love inside
I just need love, my fire, I'm scorched inside Your my life, my only one, I burn inside Time doesn't exist between you and I This is my goodbye, even for just a while
My beautiful, loving star My ode to you, my pledge For you I will, I shall be The Martian magic king
[Who turned on the fog machine!? It's not ove- *mic gets stopped from hand* [ I loo-] Boooooo!
You're a saint for bearing with me in general over the past few months. I wish I could thank you, but it'd be awkward for both of us. Maybe I'll be able to tell you later, when time has soothed things over a bit more. Or I could just learn how to talk.
tbh I only played those games so I can have something to talk to you about bc I don't know if we have hobbies in common anymore and that scares me! I don't want to imagine us being that different, you're the only person I've ever related to that much. we've gone through so many of the same feelings and experiences that it was uncanny. we both thought so, which was funny. I'm sorry I never told you I liked you, I regret it so much. I hope you knew I liked you. I used to talk about you so much my friends were sick of hearing about you haha. but I know it took you months to move on from me the first time, so I don't think I'll bring it up, even though I want to more than anything. I've always held on to my feelings for too long. I think it's too late now, like the time has passed, you know? you've moved on, but I still haven't. I don't think you love me anymore. I wish you did but I'm glad you don't, I don't think I deserve it. but I think I'm still in love with you. the feelings won't go away, and I keep comparing everyone else to you, which I know is bad. sorry. I want to tell you how I feel, but I don't want to know for sure that you don't love me anymore. I'm sorry, I'm selfish, it was always me rejecting you and hurting you but I don't think I could handle it if you did the same to me. we still talk sometimes, but I'm always the one who starts the conversation. I wish you still wanted to talk to me. you say you do, but if you did, wouldn't you try to message me at least? I guess I deserve it. sorry. I hope you don't feel burdened by me. if you do, let's stop again. on the off chance that you could like me again, I don't want to lead you along again in case my feelings change. at this point I don't think that'll happen though, I've felt like this for years. you probably won't like me again, either. I think I might be idealizing you, but you honestly are great. I hope I can bring this up with you soon. I love you a lot, you're my favorite person
Eventually, since all of them were crafted for you anyway.
What's a changed man without love, doesn't the pursuit of love force us to change? What is the beauty of your mind? without the horrors of your soul? Challenges before us we face, in charm in style and certainly idiotic ways. Smile if you read them, there are no bad intentions. Only true hurt and desire that you'll someday...
>>16409281 >Grow up, and grow a pair. She doesn't owe you anything, the world doesn't owe you anything. You're not special, and nobody is standing at the edge of a bridge waiting to give you quests.
Nobody owes me anything, and I owe nothing to society. I refuse to provide for a woman or make her life easy, and I refuse to work so that my boss can get richer, and my tax money can get spent on single mothers and mudslime "refugees". I refuse to get married so that my wife can force me into an ultra-consumerist lifestyle and then divorce me and steal half my shit. My neetbux are enough to give me a comfy life and an escort once a month. So keep working hard and being a "real man" bud, while I live my comfy, stress-free life.
I think I still don't quite get the magnitude of this project. It's too big, so big that I can't say a word while trying to process this whole thing. You talk about work but if I did what you said during such a short period of time it wouldn't really change much. It has nothing to do with determination, it just feels like I need to understand everything else first but it's too damn complicated and every day it gets more confusing.
I don't even think I should say anything at this point, look at all the shit you're spilling in your little circlejerk. I have no idea what is going on here anymore, inspiration just isn't coming. You already know me from top to bottom, I really think I should just wait till something happens hahah
>neet gives escort money, whom spends it on food and housing and puts it back into the system >paying so that a fat neet can die childless and not burden the genepool further Great, I consider it an effective eugenics project.
>>16405291 > Just know that you have someone in your life who really loves you and would be there for you, always. You inspire me every day to become a better person, and I would do anything for you. Whether you choose to take me up on that or not is up to you.
I want to, but I have mental block cause of infinite amount of spilled spaghetti and guilt over making you miserable. I just get the impression you don't want to talk to me. I know it's dumb, but I can't shake it off.
One of the reasons why I fell silent recently was trying to fix up my life a bit, to not be a complete embarrasment for someone unique. For you.
I'm in love with you and have no idea if we would even be good together. I feel so attracted that I would try my best to be quiet and normal, but that isn't a relationship is it? D, going through the motions within a place that I have no chance in advancing in is purgatory while I feel as if I'm only a distant memory faiding away from your existence. I know I may never be with you due to the timing in our lives of when we met, your recent tragedy. Just, stay happy. I will continue to find myself. Hopefully, our stars may cross and we get our chance. If not, farewell. A
Well, I'm not sure I'm good at it but I'll sure try just for the sake of improving myself, who know, maybe my writing skills gonna be useful. Guess I'm going with the 8.5/10 I'm used to talk to in my class. And by the way, I'm french so I won't do a text as good as yours. So here it goes.
Since I saw your face, since your bright eyes shined toward me, I got hooked to them just as if I was a boat drifting through the wave of life and looking for headlight, a landmark to know where I should go.
Since I heard your voice, since I heard you laugh, I knew something would never be the same in my life. Waking up , going to school just to hope to pass time with you, to make you laugh as much as I could.
Since I smelled you, since I smelled your skin, I felt like something have been missing from me for far too long. I felt just like a BigMac without fries. Since I touched you, Since we first touched, the wall I built in my heart to protect myself from being hurt failed without falling. Now that I'm with you, I feel like I won the game of life even if it have no rules.
Your a a backstabbing manipulator u gave you another chance and you lied to my face and did it again... You probably though I'd never find out but I can be sneaky too except I am not a psychopath like you
>>16398900 >>16398900 J, You probably don't remember me. We went to high school together. You fucking hated my guts, even though you rarely spoke to me, and I was OK with that. I just liked spending time around you. When you spoke to me, it made me happy, no matter what horrible obscenities flopped out of your mouth. You made me happy simply by existing. But now, I look back in time and realize that you were a dick. A lazy, obnoxious, stupid asshole with a pretty face. I saw you a couple days ago at a grocery store and holy fucking shit did you get fat or what? I almost didn't recognize you. So glad I didn't actually start a conversation with you like I contemplated at the time. You're still a dick. You were so awfully rude to that cashier. What the fuck was that shit, man? She was just doing her job; she wasn't getting paid enough to put up with your shit, you prick. I really don't know what I saw in you, and I really hope you get better at some point. But I doubt you will. I seriously doubt you will.
Hearing you want to try your hand at writing, despite caring the least for writing of all major art forms just because you came up with a crappy idea when you heard about a short story contest really hurt for some reason. I guess this stems from the fact that I've been writing in secret for a couple years. It's nothing yet- not to others, anyway. I thought I could surprise you with my work, and you'd appreciate it despite not caring for literature.
You tend to let your own experiences color your outlook, so when you get rejected, I just don't want to listen to you depressingly tell me that my story will amount to nothing. I write for myself, and I hope that someday I'll find someone who'll appreciate it on a small scale and personal level as well. I don't want money, I don't want renown or the next best seller. I want to express myself in a tangible way that others can also comprehend. Part of me really hopes you read this and find out, because I'd love to finally share. And I don't want you to believe that I'm emulating you, especially since the genre is the same.
When I gave you objective advice (carefully worded mind you, so I wouldn't hurt your feelings) that didn't even criticise your premise, you still got offended. It was hard for me to hold back from saying what I want. Honestly, the plot sounded like mediocre adult fiction drama with a random horror element out of nowhere at the close. It sounded like the back covers of crappy new releases I make fun of at the store, but I didn't tell you that; I supported you and offered my help editing. I understand the sensitivity, but I'm the first to admit my writing skills are still shit and that my plot is nothing special. It's alright to be adequate- hell, just look at our overinflated, commercialised book market right now. Anything can be published, but do you want to add to the cacophony?
It's a rhetorical question, I know you'll add to it just for the sake of adding to it.
H, I love you so much and I'm so proud to be dating you, but you are so much smarter than I am and I'm so afraid of when you find out that I am failing all of my freshman college classes because I can't man up and deal with my depression anymore. I don't want you to know I really am a loser
I want to tell you a ghost story. Come sit on the floor my child. Once upon a time there was a guy named ice cube. He was a great man, he aged well despite being a literal ice cube. One day an alcoholic woman mistook him for an actual ice cube. He never melted forever. And then they lived happily ever after. The end. Good night.
Oh no man in a so much a pain but men with little brains want to compete even in anonymous board o solly ching pong he mad use ur name to make bad look bad name for you solly so solly bad men bad men bad friends so solly I no there mothers bad bad whipping they angry everyday day bad men but now they still boys compete so solly but they no direction but to a post on anon boards so solly I wish I stopped their birth so solly
I'm usually very distant towards everyone but for some unexplainable reason, I don't wish to be with you. Whenever I am teaching and you walk in to aid some of the students, I can't help but want to talk to you. Ask about your day and ultimately hour life. Someone as attractive and carefree as you is certainly already seeing someone so I don't wish to intrude either. Nor do I think coworkers should ever become romantically linked. Maybe I'm just meant to admire you from afar.
Thanks for not freaking out and making our friendship awkward after I confessed to you. Although I told you that I didn't need your reply to my confession, I hope that I could get some closure soon. But hey, I'm happy that we still get to hang out and talk to each other normally. Thanks for being understanding.
To M.A.V. , It was so sudden, it hit me like a ton of bricks, and now I'm here thrust back to this old life.. I had just accepted my life there and had purpose...you were that purpose. I was willing to move 900 miles for you. I remember the goofy girl that made everyone laugh and the girl who fought tooth and nail for me. It all changed and I don't know, maybe I didn't see the signs, but I can't even sleep without dreaming of you, all scenarios run through my head and all I can do is keep moving. I try to copy things that you used to do with me, I try to take things that you have about you, your optimism, your smile..and I use them now, but I gotta be honest those three days before I left, being all alone in our old room full of our things. It broke me, it hurt me so much, I often wonder how you are doing, but I just want you to live a full and happy life. You paid more than enough. I pray for you and I pray that you keep going and have great things happen to you, I don't even pray for myself. Just you. I love you with all my heart and soul, I hurt so much - J.L.T
M: You know what's hilarious? You said what amounts to a paragraph about me as a serious crush and now I can't not think of you at least once a day. Thing is, you don't know that I know you said that. Go figure.
S: Sorry, while she thinks you're pretty, that's not enough to get her in bed with you. Luckily, she's okay with me getting in bed with you.
B: Dude, you're my closest friend since ever and I'll say this with love, but please do some shit with your life besides TV and work. You're only as interesting as your experiences, so go get some.
GJ You're so fucking ugly. I hate you more than I've ever hated anything. You're a fucking pathetic loser and you just keep coming around like a bad case of herpes. You just don't get none of us like you. For example tonight, we'll all have a great time, but guess who won't be invited?? Lol take a hint greasy bitch
I see you reading my messages. Why don't you respond? You said you wanted to see me again. Why the fucking silence? All the plans we had - EVERYTHING! I wanted to do it all with you at my side. Again, you said you wanted to see me again. At least have the decency to respond.
The fact that I want to murder you when I see you can't be good for my health. Pretty soon it won't be good for yours either. Okay, I'm kidding, but I still wish you would keep your distance. And I know you're not going to.
I guess you're just the victim of your own shitty defense mechanisms, your bad experiences, the pain you're trying to keep at bay. I guess you have to hurt your family so you don't get hurt yourself. I'm sick of pitying you, though. And I'm sick of feeling like there's something wrong with me, like you've implied so many times. Everyone else seems to like me, but I don't like myself very much. I can't help but feel it was your influence, after all the time I've had to spend around you.
You told me my teachers would yell at me the same way you did, that my co-workers wouldn't know how to put up with my attitude, that my boyfriend was just going to leave me again, that my friends were losers, that my mom doesn't really care about me. None of that's been true, but somehow I still haven't been able to see you for the bullshitter you are.
I'm going to try to stop doubting myself. I don't know if it'll work or how it might change me. I feel like if I don't demonize myself as a worthless, manipulative person the way you have, I'll turn into a megalomaniac and... what? Ruin everything? Make people hate me? Become an actually worthless, manipulative person, and not just a theoretical one?
I think I'll be happier. So it's gotta be worth a shot, right? How bad could I possibly be?
ran out of steam yet crab boy? Oh you so ugly you so this and that we have a good time. What a toxic idiot. Nobody cares everyone has a good time without you neither. Not invited I'm happy you're gone. Stop trying to piss off people having fun without you. haha.
I know it's really over now. Even though I was the one who broke up, I realized still had feelings of denial that we were really done after you talked to me a month ago. Now I just wish I had treated you better, hadn't been so weird and jealous at times. Wish I had taken you on more dates. Given you more attention, texted you more. We were just teenagers for so much of it though, and we enjoyed all our layabout days. What I wouldn't give to have one more, though. Even though I doubted my feelings for you so many times while we together it's only now, after the closure, that I realize that I really did love you the whole time, and still do, and probably always will. Not just because of all the memories and experiences, both good and bad, that we've accumulated together. But because of who you are. You're amazing compared to everyone I can think of. I still cherish you. I love you. Goodbye, love.
MW What is up with you? I've known you for 4 years now and you you're always so transparent and empty with barely any hobbies to do. You try to blend with with other people who are "normal", but hell. No ones normal,we're all a sack of shit in one way or another. Every time you to go "talk to other people" you just hover around them like a fly trying to make "small talk", but you're just being a creep. Sure you want to know better people than me, but at this rate. Nope, not gonna happen, because you never grow any balls. Judging you at this rate makes you look like an unfaithful scumbag who'll rat on people for your own selfishness. And on top of that subject, gees you're such a wuss. You like attention, and that's about it. Everything is you. You don't like what we like, you shit on it to convince us we shouldn't. You always want to be entertained, by making the crappies "your mum jokes". The whole group is hella bored of your random comments, trying to get us to be your entertainer. With no hobbies or shit, you'll have nothing to talk about. and that's really boring.You always "threaten" to leave us say you have better friends to go to. Such a joke. You don't have anyone but us. The odd ball group where we say dumb stuff for the lolz. You're no better than us nor worse. Sure you're a good guy who wants to do good deeds and is generous, but at a cost of being boring and narcissistic around your friends.
Long story short. Get a hobby, get a character, don't be an empty ball that rolls where the wind blows it. Be something.
Suprised you wrote all this bullshit about someone. People like you are the same people who were bullies in school. Then be surprised when the person you bullied becomes someone or is trying to you put them down so you can be the alpha dog. Bad news is when your adults people can choose their friends. People can decide for themselves and stand up for what they want to. Who are you in this persons life that your opinion matters? No one. Only the people who love them matter. If you belittle someone or attack them dont expect them to be kind to you. Dont expect them even value anything you say. Learn to understand people and people will be friends with you. for life.
Stay motivated. Don't forget this fire. Don't be comfortable, don't be content.
This is what separates humans. Never stop Improving. We'll be rich.
We see life for what it is. We don't get played. We play the game and win. Your name stems from the latin root for great, and that's exactly what you will be. Don't forget this feeling. Cherish it and let it drive you to those dream you used to have when you were a stoned loser. I'll be the greatest. Never forget that you love yourself above all.
Here's what you need to remember buddy. I know what you are doing and I know you mean good. Just don't disrespect others when they used to respect you. Don't assume anything at all about anybody because honestly, it's tiring, friends do things together and grow together. It's not a pissing contest or who can frontstab and wow aren't I such an alpha? No, live your life. Men live their lives, never complain, and have dignity. Don't strip someone's dignity away for your own gain. This isn't a gang were adults wanting a future. Make it positive man. That's it. And no I'm doing great trust me. Gotta go. ET go home
Dear self, I know life has been hard on you. I was not always around when you needed me. I'm so very sorry for that and I hope you can forgive me. I've known you all my life and we used to be best of mates. We done some crazy shit and almost whent to prison a couple times. You would have been the best cell mate in the world, no doubt about that. I'm sorry that the girl you began to love left you. I know you still are in alot of pain and that you started drinking again. I know you still miss her. I did not know her well, she had many faces, but you where happy with her, so I respected that and let you be. I want you to know, that I'm back and I'm here for you. You look great even though you don't feel like it and you have been taking real good care of yourself. Deep in your hearth you know you only do that in the hope that she will see you shining and wants you back. But to be honost, I think she is gone for good my friend. I'm real sorry to say it to you but she aint comming back. You need to move on. I'm so sorry, I know it hurts alot but it has taken to long and you are waisting your time. I'm here for you so don't worrie about that. Forget her and move on.
Hey bro Today was the last day I'll ever see you. I just wanted to say that I love you bro and this should of never happened. You were smart and hilarious. You had so much potential to be successful with your life. It kills me that it had to end this way, with the gun and shit. I'll never forget you man, I will never meet anyone with your personality ever again. You were different in a great way. Seeing you in that casket broke my heart. Everything positive I do from now on is for you, my brother. Rest up
R, You have made me obsessed with you and it's killing me. Im not sure why you bother to talk to me after ignoring me for 2 days. I know you have all kinds of groupie fan girls and Im just a loser who works at the mall. I do hope you have a great halloween and hope to see you soon. Wish I could just be over all this
New life is always good just stop looking back. Imagine it as starting over in a new country where you don't know anyone. Well except you do know people now and they care. If the past was all negative then look for the positives in the present and create new better experiences for you and your friends. You do this but you have to fully commit to letting go. You will eventually. You ignored her man admit it and because of whatever. She's friends with you for a reason. Commit, let go and yo in three months you will not regret it. Stick with the program soldier.
Also a relief in it.<br /> I laid down the closest thing. the waves calm chance to rebuild for all, I have others lives any more. I wish you me down but the deep dark waters I know I need help and even though it feels hard to do this, there's all the best of luck, I hope you everything feels so toxic. even to do this because all and also seem so inviting. this is why succeed and get to experience all myself. so this is the fork in the road, where we separate and will there's no river here so that was the things you want in life.<br /> a never know the intricacies of each j<br /> I followed the waves tonight, in the sand.<br /> maybe there is a
Fuck you, for real just fuck yourself. You turned into a complete tumblrina. You turned into someone whose depressing to be around knowing how rad you were before. You are now calling yourself a graysexual, a-sexual, bi-sexual 50 fucking different sexual because you can't just say "I'm straight, I only like sex with the person I love, and I'm curious about being with a girl." On top of that, you fucking shove words into my mouth trying to tell me I'm trying to be some macho-man because I didn't want to have perfume sprayed on me. You have god damn tester papers for a reason you bitch. Then you go to brag about how your boyfriend is genderfluid? Like somehow hes better than me because he can't make up his fucking mind if he wants a dick or a cunt? Fuck you, sorry I know I'm straight. God forbid if I did what I felt was right if it didn't go against the fucking grain of social norms like you tumblrinas like. But don't worry, that's a choice and should be looked down on while being a freak is totally fine and applauded.
Then on top of that you blame ME for your dysfunctional sex life. Like I somehow managed to do shit. I said your cunt smelled weird once and that was the first time we did it and all I wanted was to not sit under a blanket that just smells like cunt, fermented sweat, and my dick. For any virgin the smell of sex smells pretty awful, and it's an acquired scent, but that didn't matter to you.
All that fucking mattered to you, that I damaged your self-esteem and made you self-conscious. Even after that one time, I was face first into you hundreds of times before, without asking or thinking twice. I put up with all your little bullshit problems. Not touching your stomach, having to rub down your legs for an hour before I got to touch you anywhere else, never seeing your nude body, never seeing any intimate part of your body, always having to be blinded before going down on you. I let you do whatever the fuck you wanted to, to me, you made games out of my cock, played with it like I did when I was 5, fucking anything, no blind fold, no stupid shit whatever you wanted. I have fetishes, and fantasies I wanted to live, but you wouldn't even do a simple fucking 69 with me.
But yet you blame me for this? You were so god damn stifling with sex, it was only vanilla, oral and hands only no actual sex for 5 fucking years, I didn't pressure shit except for maybe sex a handful of times in the heat of the moment. I barley got you in the shower once with me, and even then, you just masturbated to a water jet and left me hanging while wearing all of your clothes. You were the worst fucking sex partner alive, and then when I finally give you something back. After all the bullshit, after all the bragging about how many other guys you fucked, all the sex you want to do now with other guys, FUCKING ALL OF IT.
I finally tell you how I met some girl who likes all of my kinks. Doesn't judge me, and actually likes me for who I am. Willing to do anal both ways, and all fun things, like showering together, day long sex marathons, her being on the pill and just going at it with no condom. Fucking everything i've ever wanted. And you have the balls to tell me that she wasn't better than you?
You have the fucking balls to tell me she wasn't as good as you because she fulfilled all my desires? You fucking think I'm being a dick to you because I finally decided to brag about how I met someone who was willing to fufill my desires? Unlike your selfish ass where you just only thought of yourself the entire time and lived in your little world of complexes that stifled everything we did. You fucking dare tell me you were better? You know what, you were garbage at sex kate, you were awful. You are lucky, I get great enjoyment from sex with the one I love doing nothing, and that I loved you so much. Because if it wasn't for that, our sex sucked dick. All it was, was me bending over backwards for you like a bitch, to fufill your personal problems so you felt okay, and confident while you had free-reign over my body.
So fuck you, and fuck your arrogance for thinking you are the best sex of my life. You were nothing but blight on my life and caused nothing but suffering and pain. I'm glad you are self-conscious about your body now.
>>16414406 After all the shit you put me through, you shouldn't be allowed to enjoy sex, I waited 5 fucking years, to lose my virginity to a girl I loved. I don't care if it wasn't with my wife, you were an important part of my life that I felt should be part of my history in life.
The fucking fact, you dumped me when you found another guy, and then proceeded to fuck him a month later is what pisses me off also. Then come to me crying about how you might be pregnant, like I'm supposed to care and then tell me "Well, you acted like you were entitled to it."
Bitch, I never acted entitled to it. I told you every time that I wasn't in a rush to lose and I'd wait until you were ready. Just take your time I said, I can wait, I'm not worried kate. But every other week you would bring up arguments on why it's okay to be a 20 year old virgin to me out of the blue, like I was supposed to care or have my stance changed when I said I'd already wait. Then every other week went on like this, and you blame me for the pressure? That fucking pressure you keep mentioning, was self-imposed by you. Just like "Well you said my vagina smelled bad one time!" and now you exile yourself to never getting eaten out again. You let one fucking thing run your whole god damn life, and I'm tired of you blaming me for it when it's really fucking you doing this shit.
Also another ball kicker? When we started to talk again, and you acted disgusted that I'm still a virgin.
Like you have any god damn room to judge me that I wasn't going to whore myself around with 6+ other guys in two years. I told you back then and I should have told you this that night. "I wanted to lose my virginity to someone I loved. Not some random person who I latch unto in fear of being alone."
So you know what fuck you. I'm pissed about our awful sex life, and I'm pissed that you somehow act offended that when I did find someone who would do what I wanted with them.
You wanted to be my only thing and the only person who would be intimate with me and that disgusts me.
So you know what enjoy your freak boyfriend, enjoy your tumblr garbage beliefs, enjoy the awful fucking life you made for yourself. I wanted to help you to actually get a job, get your license and make something of yourself because being a 23 year old drop out NEET who mooches off of everyone since they were 16 isn't working out for you clearly.
But that shit a few days ago you pulled? No fuck you, go drown in your failures. You couldn't even be happy for me or say that's good? You wanted to be my best in life while you ran around ball kicking me every two seconds about all your new found fetishes, people who would do these things with you, the people who fucked you, and everything else?
Semi-retarded kid from class, if you're here, fuck you for throwing fits in writing class. Seriously, we don't want to hear you bitch to others when they correct you, we want to get out as much as you do, yet we hide our desire to be as impatient as you.
I'm glad I met Renee, shes fucking 17, way more mature than you, and a nicer heart than you would ever have. It's amazing how you are 23 but have the mental capacity of a freshman in HS, meanwhile a girl who is 5 years younger managed to get into college early, busts her ass for a living being the best she can be, already done way more than you and has a loving heart.
She restored my fatih in women, and that not all women are complete pieces of selfish shit that only care about themselves and no one else, while also not being complete judgmental pieces of shit while expecting everyone else to be accepting and non-judgmental about about their shit.
Seriously, fuck you. Literally any girl is going to be better than you in sex and you better get over it. But instead no, you blocked out all of your shitty awful deeds you have done to me so you can live with yourself so you have no clue how shitty of a person you were to me.
Thanks for the bullshit cunt. All of your abuse, and everything else you did to me really opened my eyes on what humans are capable of when they are living pieces of shit and what they do so they can live with themselves.
Hi. J, Our relationship ended for 3 reasons: 1) I didn't enjoy having sex with you 2) I thought you needed to lose 30lbs 3) You didn't want to get a job to support your idiot purchases
It has been 4 years and I've learned a few things. 1) I am allergic to the lube we were using and that is what caused our sex to lose its magic. 2) I've dated skinnies and doesn't make a difference. It is not worth ending a relationship over 30lbs. 3) Part of what partners like about me is that I can support of them. I now I make 2x what I made before so supporting your idiot purchases is small change.
In summary, the grass was greener with you! I know there is no going back. It is just funny because my current partner is your clone.
I love you to death but we only have one life to live. I've been fooling around a few times a year with the same person. I know you would hate knowing that I'm cheating on you but since you're never going to find out I'm not worried about that.
Honestly, I am only cheating to see what it is like. The person is not nearly as nice and loving as you are. I would never leave you for that person. But if we're going to be together then I need to ward off boredom. It is not that I don't love you. It is just that I'm curious.
I wish I could just accept what I have and stop wanting more. That's not going to happen and I'm going to cheat on you and make sure you never find out. Too bad you love me so much. I take such good care of you to make sure you never suspect.
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