My bf told me he would fuck a 14 y/o if it was legal and her body was developed. He's 25.
I think young teens still have a child's capacity for decision making until at least 16 so this is really bothering me. When I started pressing him about it, he immediately changed into vague replies, saying he "doesn't know" if he actually would. Said the youngest he's ever fucked around with was 16 at age 24.
I can't help but see even that as predatory and it's making me feel sick. He's furious at me for hinting that he might be a pedophile - I have a history of a close person who I learned was a pedo (but with pre-pubescent kids) so I feel like I have to shit-test everyone I know for this stuff. Also note he was 24 and I was 17.5 when we started dating. We are both USA, in states with consent of 18.
Is this normal for men to think, do they function differently than women? Please help me. I don't want to think of him as a monster but it's already happening.
There are pedo women too, this isn't a case of women functioning differently to men. It's not unusual for a man to be attracted to a 14 year old, but most of us just don't act on it.
Accusing someone of being a pedo is obviously not going to go down well with them as it can have huge repercussions if it gets around.
It's fine that he'd be attracted to 14 year olds. What bothers me is the fact that he wouldn't feel wrong fucking a girl who still has a childish mind.
What about 16, is it okay if a 24 y/o actively knew and had sex with them?
He did say his age limit for real relationships is 18 but that does little to comfort me. I would not spread around that he was a pedo, I realize this can be a grey area but it's not okay to me.
I see your point. In that case I don't know.
I've met plenty of "normal" blokes who'd have no/little issue doing it if they could, so I don't think it's uncommon but personally I wouldn't do it so obviously I'm making a moral distinction there.
I don't think he's a monster, he's just not someone I'd respect a great deal.
Where I live, 14 year olds can legally consent to sex and I can't say I disagree with that law. I don't think it's unnatural to be attracted to teens that age if they're physically developed. You may feel that people only think like adults by 16, but it varies a lot, I remember my mind becoming a lot clearer when I was 13. And like your boyfriend said, he'd only be interested if they were mature.
Not quite a pedo, but still a creep. The age gap is too big. At 14 most girls don't know shit about guys and just go with the first thing they see, they don't have standards or see flaws in a person, they just want a bf to love. It might sound good until they get pregnant or dump you because relationships in that age are not even a real thing.
I also consider him a creep.
Dating 17,5 girl when you are 24 is not illegal but it kind of shows what he wants from a gf and that thing isnt being equal as partners (even if you are mature for your age).
I wouldnt want to have any close relationship with him
I've heard this from other guys before, guys who have wives and are not pedophiles. Men find women attractive, even if the "woman" is really young. According to studies done, anyway. I think the distinction is whether or not your boyfriend actively wants to go out and fuck a 14y/o. If he does, then yeah, he's most likely a pedo.
I think it's kind of creepy regardless based on the fact he was fucking a high school aged girl. He might be emotionally retarded, I dunno.
You're a hypocrite because you weren't even legal yourself when you started dating him.
Anyways, men just really value youth in a woman. That's all it really boils down to. This is why the age of consent varies in every country.
Overall old women get the most butthurt about hearing what men value for the obvious reasons. Considering your situation you should lighten up.
He won't actively seek them, his youngest experience is with a 16 y/o. But if a 14 y/o tried to get with him and he wasn't afraid of the law he would do it.
You're right about being a hypocrite. Thought we shared a lot of morals/hobbies most people didn't so that's why I dated him. but he's shown that he doesn't really respect me in the past, won't take me seriously. He's changed now and seems to really care for me. but this is incredibly depressing. The thought of him being alright with fucking what I consider a mentally underdeveloped teen is incredibly depressing.
I believe he would be considered a hebufealya the a traction to teen girls and ya it's normal but it becomes iligal when you act on it. That being said my recommendation is dump him to many red flags that if it gets out your life and safety would be at risk
>But if a 14 y/o tried to get with him and he wasn't afraid of the law he would do it.
So would I.
I wouldn't actively pursue one that'd be creepy and wrong.
I don't really know your situation, but you come off as emotionally vulnerable and very insecure. You would be better off dating in your own age group and getting some life experience. I don't think your current bf is right for you.
Don't worry, OP. You're just retarded.
The fact that you consider a post-pubescent 14 year-old girl to be significantly underdeveloped mentally compared to a 16 year-old doesn't mean it's true.
Ironically, despite your age, that's a very immature way for you to view the world.
Don't blame others for your own silly views.
first off, i'm guessing your boyfriend didn't just say that out of the blue. you were asking him questions about this, right? because it's clearly an issue with you. between your history and the age difference between you two
>I don't want to think of him as a monster
yeah you do, for whatever reason. he should be mad. you're trying to turn your issue into his issue.
Okay guys. Thanks for all your help.
Maybe I can accept the attraction to young teens since he's never been involved with one.
Is the fucking with 16 y/os at 24/25 knowingly still scummy? This is the most important factor.
Yes, I was purposely trying to find out. Because he cheated on me over cam with what we thought was a 15 y/o (she was really 16) and didn't think anything of her age. He felt like shit for doing it and told me himself but there was no regret over her being young. So, I started to worry about how young he'd think was acceptable.
I have a ton of mental health issues and a history of relationship with a pedophile (unknowingly) which exacerbated the need to know. Of course he's angry at me for interrogating him, but his answers about 14 y/os are still concerning so there was some basis of truth in wanting to know.
it's not about age, as much as it's about power.
are you in an equal relationship? he could never have that with a girl that young. obviously.
why does he want that? maybe he feels vulnerable, and would enjoy the security of a more powerful position, or maybe he's in one already with you, and there would be no difference with a 14 y.o.
or he was just answering with his dick, high schoolers are highly sexualized in the media, that's a strong influence too.
similar thing happened with my ex, and I just slowly started realizing how manipulative and awful he was in other was so I dumped him. few years found out later that he's now a raging furfag brony and fucks underage girls pretending to be younger
glad I got the fuck outta that one
I think it's apparent at this point you're not looking to break it off with him because you are emotionally dependent. So I don't really know why you feel like you need some stranger's opinion whether or not your boyfriend is a pedo. Point is, you are not in a healthy relationship.
No matter how many people will tell you they're not, it is perfectly normal to be sexually attracted to a girl who has just recently sexually developed. And if it was legal like your bf's hypothetical situation, what's the problem?
It is his dick talking since he wouldn't be in a serious relationship unless the girl was 18. He also did miss out on relationships as a teen but I think it's mostly lust, just animal brain reacting to a post-pubescent girl. The refusal to think about whether the girl is ready for that mentally with an adult man is what is disturbing to me.
We were not in an equal relationship at the beginning. Didn't take me seriously about anything. Since then he's gotten a lot better, respects me now.
Vidya, 4chan jokes, long-term goals like wanting kids, personalities are generally compatiable, we make each other laugh. Social circles overlap a little with internet friends, but barely with anyone in real life because of the age gap.
We actually are far apart and can only have sex once a month. He's always been honest with me about everything so I trust him not to sleep with others. Really do love him to bits but this age of consent issue is close to a dealbreaker to me.
>Social circles overlap a little with internet friends, but barely with anyone in real life because of the age gap.
>barely with anyone
so there's at least SOME overlap, in RL? that's great, much better than I was expecting!
I think most men would be attracted to a fourteen year old's body, but would be turned off enough by the immaturity to not go for it. It's hard enough to have adult FWBs without them getting clingy/emotional. It would likely be much, much worse with a teenager. Plus, people usually reach their peak of being annoying from ages 13-16. I wouldn't want to deal with it.
Briefly yeah, they're bretty cool, he's talked to a few of mine, neither of us are close with the others'. We are insular af. Spend the most time with each other, we're both introverted so not many friends to start. I know he's not isolating me to get teenage pussy on the DL, he really does care for me.
>humans biologically evolve to procreate in their teens
>men evolve to find fertile women attractive
>we now have to fight our instincts because society deemed it wrong.
It doesn't make sense. Personally I'd never do anything with teens, but I can see why people would.
>What bothers me is the fact that he wouldn't feel wrong fucking a girl who still has a childish mind.
Same here. This is what has always bugged me about stuff like this. I'd fuck a 25 year old with a 14 year old's body, but I wouldn't fuck a 14 year old with a 25 year old's body.
Your boyfriend is very immature, and indeed, predatory in nature. It seems like he was specifically looking for younger teens. I'm a 20 year old male. I was attracted to 14/15 year olds I'd say...up until I was maybe 18? Admittedly though, I'm not from the USA. That being said, now that I am 20 and truthfully, not as dumb as I was a few years ago, I'm just not attracted to girls that young. I mean, I really just am not. Physically some are good looking, and I've met girls who were 15 who I assumed were like 18/19 because of how they looked and the older crowd they hung out with, but mentally, they turn me off very much. They don't have the capacity for critical thought yet. They are very immature, very easy to influence, shape, they want to fit in and I don't have anything in common with them. I can't even keep a conversation with one because mentally, they are not developed and intellectually inferior. I think your boyfriend, if he has a thing for girls as young as 14 and is ok with hanging out with them/trying to fuck them, has a serious problem. I wouldn't go as far as calling him a pedophile because that is inaccurate, but a bit of a predator? Perhaps.
Also the absolute youngest I'd fuck(not date) is now probably 17. And even that is pushing it. I prefer girls my age or older.
This is all silly and trivial. Your BF basically said "yes, I would have casual sex with someone who is developed." I doubt he went through the mental rigors of what this situation would entail, and how it would impact the person, because it's not going to ever be legal, and he will never be in the situation where it is possible.
I don't know. On the fence about it but honestly I have such poor self esteem and we're already so close. Don't think I can break up with him. I appreciate all the advice here, it's all contradicting each other though so I'm just going to stick with him.
>I have to shit-test everyone I know
>he was 24 and I was 17.5 when we started dating
>in states with consent of 18
Dumb cunt alert. You are a hypocrite. You like older guys, just learn to accept it and stop victimizing yourself with this quasi-moralistic mentality. You're a walking contradiction. A double standard. Consent is a huge grey area in law and ethics. You saw fit to consent to sex at "17.5" (or "close enough" as some call it)
Of course he's going to be furious when you insinuate he is a pedophile. I would too.
6/10 pretty good troll
Do you have any reading comprehension? I know I'm not being taken advantage of besides in the eyes of frothing tumblr hags. What concerns me is the fact that he'd fuck a FOURTEEN year old!! Obviously some 14 year old girls are fully developed so it's not physical pedophilia, but since they are mentally still young teens, the fact that getting with them would be predatory is very real. I never accused him of being a pedophile. Only that 14 year olds have children's brains, after which he blew up on me.
Gotcha. I leave, with one question for you to answer. If you guys manage somehow to stick together and start a family, what then? Would you still allow his attraction to little girls?
Again, grey area. 14 year olds in some areas of the U.S., in some circumstances can work, apply for driving permits, and be tried as an adult in a court of law. Consider circumstances.
If he is not preying on 14 year olds actively, I wouldn't be terribly concerned. You believe the benchmark is 16. Some think its 18. Some think it's 17. 14... probably not. He would have insurmountable consequences to face if caught. If the courts got to him before the vengeful family, he would be lucky.
Addressing the point you are trying to make: if you love him and support him, accept him as he is or move on. It's hard, but relationships aren't easy. I'm sorry that your boyfriend wants to fuck 14 year olds, really. You should've had a clue that he has a penchant for young girls when you gave yourself to him at such a young age.
I don't know, maybe I'm just a cruel, sick bastard. Sexuality is immensely complicated. I have only a basic understanding, and I've been having sex regularly for years with many partners. People get their rocks off to different shit. Pedophilia is wrong, right? If he's a pedophile, leave him. Don't torture yourself.
Direct your bf to older women. Girls can be sexually developed as young as 9. Still a kid in the head no matter what consent laws say.
Physical development=\= mental development
You trash monkeys defending OP's bf would probably fuck a four year old if she had pubes and tits and blame it on ~biology~
I think you're an idiot, and here's why. When a girl hits puberty, its a natural sign that they have reached a mature state for sexual interaction. It's human nature and it's all by design.
To call him a pedophile is a bit much.
no, but 14? Come the fuck on. Don't give me this "little kid" shit. Many 14 year olds are as mature as any 16 to 18 year old. Then you have 30 year olds that still has the mind of a fucking teen...would fucking those be pedophilia as well?
It's all about maturity and the individual. 14 can be a mature age depending on the person.
there's a difference in being attracted to a fully developed 14-16 year old, and being attracted to undeveloped pre-pub children. To even compare these is ridiculous.
What's all this about the "child like mind"? We have adults who are less mature than some kids. But we wouldn't call it pedophilia if we fucked them would we? So let that argument go already. Let's stick with the developed body and the fact that at 14, most girls are fully developed and "naturally" ready. Many have their first sexual experiences at 14 and 15. This includes boys as well.
No, you get 16 and 18 year olds who are as immature as 14 year olds. Not the other way around. You can be "mature for your age" at 14 but rarely truly mature. You need life experience for that. And who would want to fuck a 30 year old with the mind of a teenager? That's also weird as fuck.
> "would fucking an immature 30 year old be pedophilia durr hurr"
What kind of question is this??? But to humor you anyway:
No because if you're still as immature at 30 as you were at 14 then something is fucking wrong since people stop developing mentally/physically at 25.
If you haven't caught up by then I hope natural selection phases you out.
Not to strip legal children (which is one in infancy to 18 by common law fyi, but for this purpose will mean those 14~17) of their autonomy and good sense, but even if that child was "mature for their age" and could "make their own decisions" it's ultimately the responsibility of the legal adult to not engage in situations like that.
Whether or not the girl is physically mature is not the question--some dude taking advantage of a mentally underdeveloped child is fucking bullshit
Honnstly i think the same.
I basically attracted to anything female from 50+ milfs down to 13-14 yr olds.
And why wouldn't i be?
You know that there are lost of men out there who get turned on by drawings from >>>/e/
If you have a developed 14 yr old, then why wouldn't she turn these men on?
She still looks female even if she's underage, just like the drawings on /e/ which don't even resemble real life humans but are still sexually apealing to a lot of men out there.
Well basically saying to a girl that you're turned on by anyting or anyone but her is a red flag in general, because it means she will get jealous.
You should alway be selective with what you tell your so. More selctive than you are towards other people, because everything you say goes right into this person's emotions.
And you point is what?
If people can se sexually apealing patterns in 2d images, or even in things like trees, then why wouldn't they see them in children?
It's illogical to think chidlren are somehow exempt from these thoughts that most men have.
If you see anything sexual in this image you're basically a pedophile awell.
no it is not? are you okay?
a girl could do anything out of the ordinary and some would say that is a red flag here, but when a guy straight up says he would fuck a 14 year old girl if legal, and has predatory tendencies, its okay and not a red flag?
Your brain is not going to distinguish between an 18 year old and a 17.5 year old.
It doesn't work like that.
There are many 14 year olds who are sexually apealing to the majority of men out there.
Some men might not talk about it because it's socially incorrect to remark about the sexual apeal of underage girls, but they're still attracted to them even if they don't act or talk about it.
people jerk it to loli because those are highly sexualized and idealized images. an actual child would not behave like that unless they were sexually abused.
a man would not be sexually attracted to a 14 year old unless they were a fucking hebe/pedophile.
at that age a 14 year old is not "fully sexually developed". they are still developing.
you should sense something uncanny
>Your brain is not going to distinguish between an 18 year old and a 17.5 year old.
because a 14 year old would not carry themself as an adult would.
can you go outside and look at an actual 14 year old then tell me if you would still fuck them lmao
i do not think the problem here is that he dated a 17.5 year old. it was that he started dating somebody that young at the age of 24. that says so much.
>at that age a 14 year old is not "fully sexually developed". they are still developing.
People get off to horses.
A lot of 14 yr old still look just like women, but smaller.
Why wouldn't people be attracted to that?
It's probably a lot more common than horses.
Besides this, we consider people who look young to be more attractiv in general.
There are studdies on this.
There are people who argue that neotenic traits have contributed to human evolution, like, the reason why we evloved away from neaderthals was because we were attracted to neotenic traits, and these traits where enforced from sexual selection among homos sapiens.
they are both paraphilias. which are, by definition, deviations.
why are you so hellbent on the idea of every man out there being a fucking pedophile, like you. stop projecting.
>A lot of 14 yr old still look just like women, but smaller.
they do not act like women.
>Why wouldn't people be attracted to that?
you are not only unpardonably disgusting but fucking insane.
If you honestly belive that most people are only attracted to 18+ women and feel nothing for sexual images of younger.. or even cartoons who aren't even humans,
then you're probably in deinal because the existence of these elements on this site, proves you wrong.
You could argue that it's very abonrmal but i don't think so.
Im not justifying sexualisation of children, or rape for that matter. Not at all.
There are reasons why we have laws.
However, it would be wrong to say that the earth is flat, when it's in fact round.
youre arguing semantics
it's still not normal you fucking deviant.
people are attracted to 2d BECAUSE it is not 3d. real teenagers do not look like annie-may cave drawings. how hard is this to understand
Dude your brain doesn't do age based pattern recogintion, it just sees a pattern that looks kida like female genitals and that turns you on.
Have you ever drawn porn yourself?
I have when i was 12 i used to do that, and these figures hardly resembeld women but where still good enough for me to fap to then.
I don't really think people are that selective about what they are attracted to.
Just because you live in denial it doesn't mean that it doesn't exist.