Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Is it normal for me to go to a club/bar by myself?
Yes. Stop overthinking this.
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking
>Brandon or Female Brandon
Also piss off.
It's highly unlikely any man will be satisfied having ever had sex with one person in his life. So astronomically unlikely it's not worth taking the risk. If he doesn't leave of his own accord then it will just manifest itself as resentment and ruin the relationship anyway.
While we're on the subject of virginity - I'm a semi-involuntary female virgin (I've had chances, but only with people I wasn't attracted to).
If you (assuming you were attracted to me) found that out, would that be positive, negative, or neutral? And why?
Depends on how you feel :
Neutral if you don't care about it
Positive if you felt like you don't need more than one partner
Negative if it weighs you down and you constantly worry about feeling unwanted
virgins are un corrupted. they're not all used up or wash ups who just fuck & then run. you can also teach them whatever you want. it's like they're tailored to your sexual needs.
gotta disagree with that other anon saying they just wanna f around too. last bf was a virgin, was with him 4 years. current bf was also virgin, have been together 3 years and he's talking about moving in together after college is wrapped up. just gotta pick the cute shy nerd in the back, they're fun and awesome
Well, I do feel I'd be completely satisfied having only one partner - I know several couples that stayed with their first loves, and it seems to work just fine.
But it (lack of romantic/sexual interaction) does makes me feel unwanted I guess.
Would you consider someone who's had sex with one person "used up"?
No worries - I've never been treated badly by guys, they just usually aren't attracted to me, with some exceptions. And that's fine, you can't choose who you're going to be attracted to.
Ladies, I've just decided to try Tinder again. I always seem to stumble when coming up with an opener. I know the obvious things like not opening with just 'Hi' and not being a downright creep. I'm wondering if random, open ended questions would work well, (of course that all depends on the girl). Have you had any good ones in the past?
I do care- as other anons said before it doesn't create good chances for a long-term relationship.
I could have some fling with a virgin, maybe have fun being his teacher in this stuff but nothing more serious ever- I just see it as a waste of time (especially since he will want relationship and think he will be able to handle ti but after few years it will be 100% over).
Its not very nice to treat people like sex toys
I've been seeing this girl for about 4 weeks and we just recently made it official. However, the last couple days for me aside from that have been ridiculously rough.
So I told my new gf that I'm gonna be flying out to Cali for the weekend, mostly so I can see this other girl who's pretty much my sister in every way except by blood. I really need to see her with how shitty some things have been, and she always makes me feel better by the time I leave.
My gf however is flipping the fuck out and wants me to confide in her instead, but I really want to see my sister and this is a heavy problem I'm dealing with. Not something you easily talk about in a brand new relationship. What should I do?
thats why I don't treat that as such and want a relationship: with virgin guys you are almost 100% sure those relationship aren't going to work out, simple.
Thats why I said that the only options are some short flings (and actually many virgin guys would like that from what I've heard)
You should go on your trip and deal with the fallout afterward. However strange your relationship is with this "sister" of yours, your girlfriend is expecting way too much after only four weeks of being involved with you.
Oh christ not another woman who expects to be her bf sole and only point of emotional affection.
She needs to get used to the fact you like other females, have deep, meaningful relationships with other females and that this doesn't mean your relationship means anything less.
Good luck though, that point is impossible to reach for lots of women.
If the tables were turned and she was going out of town to see a guy who was like a brother to her about some stuff that's been happening in her life, how would you feel? How would you want her to deal with it?
Neutral. I've actually dated a couple mid-20 year old virgin girls before, both were pretty cool. I didn't care.
Wait the extra 9 months 'til you meet that other girl that you actually like. I know you're feeling like shit and rebounding, but throwing away your first time on someone you couldn't care less about will just completely fuck you up. P.S. They come in different sizes. Don't buy "snug" condoms.
I mean I don't have a problem with that eventually being the case, but like I said we've only been together 4 weeks. I've known this other girl since we were in diapers, we've never been attracted to each other yet still love each other like family.
I hope she can get used to that...
Good to know I'm not uncorrupted then
No, I know what are more stable options.
Sure I can try and count on 1% chance but what for if I am just as able to get mentioned stable option? I don't have infinity to look for guys (especially if I want to have kids in future). There is little worse in dating market for women than to be dropped just before they stop attracting men- and thats how dating virgins when you are 21+ usually ends.
Anyway why are you so defensive about it? You said you are anomaly in this case.
I'm not being defensive I'm curious what data (whether it be life experience or stories) you're using to arrive at your conclusion
I would argue that there's no age limit on attraction but it has to do more with what phase of life you're in
Anyways, this was insightful
Do you really believe that, or are you just saying that because you want her to be in the wrong here? Are you actually saying you'd be okay with your girlfriend leaving after 4 weeks together to go and see another guy so he could be her shoulder to cry on? And that his constant presence in her life and his closeness to her wouldn't bother you?
I don't know who's right here, but I do think you're failing to empathise properly in this situation and you're having trouble seeing it from her point of view.
1) Is it a turnoff when you have your own flat, but in your parents' house? (male, 23)
2) Do you care about a guy's activity on social media? Would you give a fuck if he doesn't use fb, twitter, etc.?
If she was able to understand exactly what's killing me lately, and how my sister can help, then she would easily be fine with it. I'll tell her about it some day, but I just can't this early on. Gonna take time for me to get there.
Girls i need you to think like a 18 year old/teenager.
Girl i dated 3 times, she broke it off 3 weeks ago , on good but for me also confusing terms(she didn't know if she had true feelings and some other crap) and it was with a long apologizing text.
Now usually i don't overthink but it happened so many times. everytime i log on into facebook she goes offline, since it says '1 minute ago'.
So what the hell does it mean, is she scared to talk, avoiding me(blocking me would be better right?).
my ego tells me she does have feelings but suddenly got cold feet. How would it look if i suddenly send a message to her?
She really needs to just leave your ass. 4 weeks isn't much of a commitment so far so hopefully she does. There's no need for anyone male or female to have to put up with shit like what you're doing.
vague post incoming, will give details if requested
guy i like lightly punched me in the back to get my attention as he was walking by (restaurant) is that some awkward way of showing he likes me?
he just seems to get less and less smooth every time I see him...idk what's going on but damn
I don't think there is much data that is needed here, mainly experience- your first relationship usually doesn't last.
I would argue there is very strong age limit when it comes to men judging attractiveness on women and there is actually data to support it (pic related, as far as I remember from the article the sample group was quite big).
I know that I have (statistically) chance for 2-3 more long term relationships when I am at my best.
And thats it.
I know situation of women who have gone beyond this point and there is little to envy there.
Sure you will be able to attract "someone" but its almost never as favorable as when you are in 20-29 age range.
yeah, I'm not a fan of the virgin cling. had that happen two (maybe three) times now and it's annoying.
I'd say "don't drive 21 hours for some dick. it won't even be that good. wait a couple years for the great white dick to show up in your life"
"where do you like to go drink?" gets me every time, i love talking about my bars
idk just ask her if she'll give up one of her friends if she wants you to give up this one. idk why girls are so fucking insecure
let it go. 18 year olds are fickle as hell. she probably decided she doesn't like you any more, found some new dick, either way, if she wants you, she'll come back to you. i doubt she has feelings for you from the sound of it, and messaging her isn't gonna make that better for you. take that ego down a notch, bruh.
That is some pretty disheartening data if you're a woman
I don't know much about the 30 year old woman's dating arena but in light of this new evidence I would have to agree with your last point
lol dude are you high?? no woman ever in the history of womankind has ever or will ever be okay with this. hahaha. fly out to see some other bitch - you a crazy mother fucker haha
Okay, so imagine if a girl you met a month ago suddenly up and left to go and see another guy in another city, just giving you a vague "I need to see him about issues that I'm not ready to tell you about yet. He's like a brother to me, I swear!" as an explanation. Can you seriously not see anything wrong with that?
Explain the logical reason you can't just talk to her over Skype or on the phone and you need to drop everything to get on a plane and go literally cry on her shoulder (yeah right).
Well you're going to have to, because there's nothing okay with what you're doing and I don't blame your girlfriend for being uncomfortable with the idea. Like >>16421096 said, you have other outlets, you don't need to go and see her in person.
If a guy pulled this bullshit you're pulling with me, I'd leave him and never look back. It's a month that I've wasted, but it's only a month and it's better than potentially finding out down the line that he cheated on me with this friend of his.
>holds me, and comforts me
I'm one of the earlier Anons who replied to you OP, and I still hold to what I said about your girlfriend needing to understand the limitations of only knowing you for a month.
That having been said, even if your girlfriend didn't exist, this relationship you have with your "sister" is peculiar and probably harmful to your interpersonal relationships going forward. You need to not be your own enemy just because you've fallen into a comfortable arrangement. That comfort is not worth the damage you'll cause to your romantic life.
I've put in a lot more effort than she has to be completely honest. Plus if she cheats on me, I'd rather it be at the start of a relationship than deeper into it. I'm really forgiving when it comes to that.
(made a similar thread earlier but got no responses, might as well try here)
There's this woman I met about one year ago. We got to know each other, ended being really good buddies, she was there in my worst moments this year, same thing with me, I ended up being treated like a real king by her.
I'm not gonna bullshit you, I like her a lot and think about her everyday, though I have to accept that she doesn't seem to be into age differences (she's in her mid 40s, I'm in my mid 20s). She treats me like her son and that's good enough for me.
However it's christmas time soon, and I spent way too long without giving or receiving shit because of my current income and how very few people I know, so I'm pretty awful at choosing gifts. The subject of presents came up randomly a few days ago and she said that it was the thought that counts for her, you know the deal. I wanted to give her a nice little present, something that would make her smile because she's had it rough for the last months (got a little accident and she had her mom in the hospital as well). I'm sort of poor but I still like the idea. Any suggestions, like jewelry?
Suppose you regularly ask a guy to help out with something you have to do regularly, like weekly or biweekly. You don't/barely talk to him for a while, and don't ask him one time. The day comes again, and he doesn't come over to give you a hand. You ask him why he didn't, and he says he thought you got sick of him because of the lack of contact and didn't want him to.
How would you respond? Would you be understanding?
Don't go for jeweleries.. Women tastes are ridiculously high when it comes to jeweleries, and unless you know exactly what she want the only way you can go good on this one is too pretty much give her the same jewelery she wears a lot, just slightly different or chances are she is going to hate it and never wear it, aka your money is lost.
Does she got any interests, hobbies? Otherwise personal gifts from you is always good. Do you got some kind of inside joke that only the two of you will get? Think hard about what she has mentioned in the past and try to find something she just randomly blabbered out that she would like to do, would love to have, etc..
>he says he thought you got sick of him
This is just a really weird, discomforting, insecure thing to say. It's a little insulting to hear that he thinks I "get sick of" people. Plus why is it now my job to make him feel better about himself? Suddenly him not showing up becomes my problem.
The only thing I would understand from him saying something like that is that I shouldn't associate with him anymore.
Well, it's hard to say really. As close as we are I never questioned her tastes on many things. She loves sweets and my suggestion about jewelry comes from the fact that about a month and a half ago we went to visit some medieval themed fair. She saw some jewelry and accessories there and she went nuts.
Aside from that, pretty difficult indeed to know what she likes. I can tell you what she dislikes, and that's literature. She usually doesn't have much time for hobbies, but she's pretty outgoing.
I'm not really gonna ask for sizes in terms of clothing for obvious reasons, though she is pretty open to topics like these at times.
If it was her kids it would be much easier, I already know their preferences.
By the way, she said something like "you're the best thing I could ask for this year", but of course I'm not going to get inside a gift box.
Women: you would like to have a dick or ever think what happen if you have one?
Men: you would like to have boobs or ever think what happen if you have a pair?
Normal size and in your own body
I have a history with friends dropping me just like that for way, way less. Multiple good friends, best friends abandoned me throughout my life. That warps my expectations and makes me something other than a 'normal person', I suppose.
Would your answer change if the guy told you this?
>Not knowing about women's dick envy
Every single woman on the planet wishes they had a dick, if only for a few minutes. If you're ever close enough with a woman to where she can be in the bathroom while you piss, you'll see the envy and curiosity hit her.
What's up bae? How bout I show you why they call me the horseman
Therapy isn't a magical cure-all. Believe me, I've tried. Three therapists, an empty wallet and zero improvement other than awareness of this thing before they literally told me they couldn't help me further.
So being honest's not a good idea then. What would've been a better answer? "Sorry, I was busy"? "You didn't ask"?
Yes, I'm gracing you with my presence once again.
I have been awaiting your return
Ladies how does it feel knowing that when a guy looks at you he's probably thinking about ripping off your clothes, bending you over, and ravaging your pussy with his dick? Does that both you?
girls, I exchanged numbers with a qt on thursday and have gotten no response yet. Am I fucked or am I just worrying too much?
I get where you're coming from, but wouldn't it have been easier to just say it's like a family friend or family member that you're visiting? Shit's only been going on for 4 weeks why do you have to be 100% honest and accept all that shit she would obviously say. I mean what girl/guy wouldn't feel that way?
I'm mentally ill. Been diagnosed as clinically depressed and bipolar. I struggle with staying motivated and positive pretty much daily. It isn't healthy, but I don't take any medication, so I am probably going to stay this way. I hide my condition from friends and family like my life depends on it and I always put on a smile so I don't drag anyone else down with my bullshit. Thats me, been that way for awhile, fine with it. Its good.
Here is the problem. I don't want my romantic relationships to be like this. I don't want to have to hide who I am, how I feel, and what I am thinking from the person I call my partner. I'd like to be able to be completely honest and open for once instead of just fucking acting for another fucking audience. And sometimes I even meet women that make me think, "She is worth laying it all out in the open for. Exposing all that embarrassing shit and rejection combined are worth even the chance of growing closer to her."
But before I act on that impulse, I consider my best case scenario: The woman worth taking all that risk for is now stuck with me and all of my bullshit. And that is where I've stopped at with every relationship. It just seems too selfish, to inflict my crazy ass on someone, just so I wont be lonely.
Am I right? Am I overthinking things? Am I mentally ill?
Most people seem to just hide how crazy they are until the relationship crashes and burns.
So long as he's OK with me looking at him and judging if he is actually worthy of doing it it's all good, because that is what most women are doing. Women are just as sexual, so we are assessing you right back.
So I've finally decided to ask out a classmate I've been crushing on for about a year now, (got to know her a lot better the past 3 months). A couple of things though:
1. She might/probably has a boyfriend
2. She likes me (multiple classmates have asked if we're a thing, have made comments about her flirting with me ect.)
3. I like her
I was planning on just asking if her if she'd like to grab lunch with me after class (uni), but I'm not sure if I should ask about her boyfriend (she's never brought him up in conversation with me, but she's a pretty reserved person anyways)
how is it possible to have gotten to know her better in 3 months(3 MONTHS!) and not figured out whether she has a bf or not? Not even asking?
Anyway, don't ask about her boyfriend, it's more efficient to ask her out. You'll get your answer then anyway and you'll know whether she's down with you or not.
Most importantly if it doesn't work out, good for you for putting yourself out there and don't stop!
My wife never texted or called me back for the first 4 months of dating because she was going through a busy time. I told her texting back was easy, but she liked me too much and the thought of casually texting made her anxious.
So either she lost interest, or she's very busy and head over heels for you.
I see, maybe you're right. Odds are she's busy. to be honest about it, My meeting her was pretty quick as this was at my college and had to go to my next class soon. I remember her saying she'd call if she wasn't working so there's that. And I remember she seemed pretty happy to have me come up and and talk to her, so I guess I'll hold in there. Thanks anon.
That's good because when I see an attractive woman I think about things like how their tits feel or the feeling of her butt pressing against me, or how she'd sound when I'm fucking her. These thoughts go through my head pretty much for every decently attractive girl I see. I know I'm not in the minority either.
Guys, if you were fucking it up with a girl you were seeing, would you want her to tell you? If so, how?
It's not me in this scenario, it's my friend, but I can try to give as much detail as you might need
Yes, I'd like to be with a girl who asked for stuff if she wasn't getting it. That having been said I don't want to be with a girl who nags incessantly about the same issues. Mention it once and give me a sincere opportunity to think and change. If I do, great. If I don't, I'm not the guy for you. That's something you need to realize for yourself.
They met through work (same chain, different stores). She's 22, he's in his late 20s and seems to have little/no experience with women. They're both quite nerdy, so they really hit it off at first, but she's getting more and more annoyed with him.
He's awkward in person, but when they text, he's unnecessarily flirty and seems to think he's super charming. Takes little interest in her, and when she tries to mention something about her life, he steers it back to himself. For example, she's just started on her Masters and he doesn't even know what her thesis is about because he completely deflected it when she mentioned it to him. Another example is that she's had a sore back and been sick, and he was all "aww, maybe you just need to see me, I'll make it all better ;)"
I wouldn't be surprised if he were a guy from around here, to be honest. She's told him she'd appreciate it he didn't try to be flirty all the time, but he just said "you love it, don't lie"
I personally wouldn't have bothered with this guy, but they do share quite a few interests and they have the same power level so I can kind of understand why she's still in contact with him.
He sounds kind of autistic. I don't think there is anything that she could say that would make him change; I mean, have you tried talking to an autist irl? They are impossible to get through to
If it were me I would want her to just say something like "I really need to talk to you about our relationship" and then "When you always refocus a conversation onto yourself it seems like you don't care about me. You don't even know what my thesis is about."
But again, he seems like an autist and it sounds like she has said things like this already so I doubt saying it again will help
Yeah, I don't know what will help her. She's stopped replying when she gets too frustrated, and he hasn't texted her in a couple of days now so I think he's somewhat getting the hint. He's definitely still into her though, just judging by how much more invested he is in her, it's probably killing him inside that she hasn't texted first
No prob. If a very busy woman wants to go out with you, chances are she's highly interested. You just need to decide if you're willing to be as patient as a saint.
Normal dating rules don't apply to busy women that are also shy or even slightly shy. People will say all kinds of shit like she will always msg you back if she really likes you, but that simply isn't the case here. Like I said, she can also just be too shy to msg you back with the little thinking time she has to put into the text. Most people take a lot longer than they think when texting someone they realllly like and are nervous about.
Only take advice from those of us who have been there. Do not Google anything about it either, it'll drive you fucking insane with inaccuracies that seem accurate.
Question for the girls: What's the best and safest way to approach a girl without looking and sounding like a weirdo?
I've had bad past experiences with approaching any type of person just to talk to them, both men and women, but I am interested in dating these days so that's why i'm asking.
No, I don't hang out in bars or clubs, so it might decrease my chances somewhat.
Have a reason to approach them other than "hey, I thought you were cute". Approach them in situations where it's acceptable to approach them. Approach them only if they look like they'll be receptive. Don't persist if they're not receptive. Don't expect them to go out on a date with a guy they just met
>Also virgins are usually younger guys, which is another plus ofc
That's a new one. I'm indifferent about age within reason, but all the women I know tend to seek a guy a few years older rather than younger.
Indifferent. Usually the biggest problem is why they're a virgin to begin with, not the virginity itself. If you're a well balanced individual I have no problem.
S P O O K Y
S C A R Y
S K E L E T O N
Im 23 and the girl I like is 19 (study same course).
She gave me her number, without asking, in the middle of our lecture, like 2 months ago.
I downloaded the whole season of her favorite show because she couldn't find it and gave it to her last week of semester.
She just went overseas to compete in a sport competition and I got a message from her on facebook.
Now Shes finished it and messaged me asking if the new ones out.
Does that mean she wants me to download this shit and ask her to hang out over uni break? I admit im kind of in love with her, had a dream about her last night too and i rarely recall dreams (smoke weed erryday).
WHAT DO!? girls please, shes fit and im like 10kg overweight, do I even stand a chance?
Girls and fellow guys
So I matched a girl 2 months ago on Tinder, she gave me her number and we've just been texting back and forth since then. The thing is I think she's sending me signals that she wants to meet IRL (we haven't met yet). But I'm not really up for meeting. She's cute, and we agree on a lot of stuff like politics (we've been texting a ton during the Debates discussing issues, and we also agree on a lot of movies and music stuff to. So how to I say "I don't want to meet you IRL, but I like texting" without coming off as a asshat.
Here's a hint: if they've got earphones in, are busy doing something (including reading) or look like they're thinking hard about something or have something on their mind, they're not receptive.
If you are having a good conversation that you are both into then you should ask right then. If you wait then you run the risk of her thinking your not interested in her in "that" way.
I weigh about 10 pounds less at the same height. Runnerfag with like no bodyfat, and it's not like I'm not muscular. The goal is to gain at least 10 pounds, but with the amount of physical activity I do, it's pretty damn fucking hard.
Also, I have been losing weight these days, don't know how much fat I have lost, but I weighed 113 kg two weeks a go, now I weigh about 102 kg, amazingly.
Girls are frequent text and messenger replies exclusive to guys you're solely interested in? I have girls who are pretty interested in me but when it comes down to it I barely get replies from them when I message them and I feel kinda ignored. But when I'm in person with them they give me plenty of attention and pretty much stick to me. I feel the sexual tension and everything else but why is it so hard for girls to just text back?
The scale was bought about a week a go.
Then again errors can show up early as well.
But I have noticed some amount of weight loss from wearing some clothes, but then again I am gaining muscle mass at the same time.
You only bought a scale a week ago, but you know you were 113kg at least a week earlier than that? And somehow you've lost 11kg in a few weeks, consisting of losing fat as well as gaining muscle? Am I reading this right?
for girls: if a chick that has been friendly/flirty with me on numerous occasions mentions in passing that she is dating someone (but without using the word "boyfriend"), does this basically make her a dead end, or still worth pursuing? external from this drop, she seemed completely curious and potentially interested in me.
Ask her to watch it with me or ask her if she'd like the files and maybe we can hang out so I can give them to her?
Should I message her on facebook, text or call her?
I haven't dated in 2 years since a bad breakup and im rusty communicating with girls, unless its face to face.
You should check what the max weight is. They often can only read up to a certain weight. I think they're usually built to read up to about 150kg these days, but you should double check anyway.
Don't let the scale discourage you though. Keep it up, and you'll notice the weight dropping off soon enough. It takes time, it's not going to happen overnight. The best way to gauge weightloss is with measurements and how your clothes fit, so don't put too much weight on the number on your scales. Pun intended
how can a guy learn to kiss well enough to not embarrass himself his first time?
i'm kind of old for my first kiss (21 currently) so i'm at that stage where its kind of strange to not know how, but i'm not necessarily afraid of trying
Definitely positive. I'm a guy and im kind of in the same situation where i feel that iv had chances to lose it, but for one reason or another each time(wasn't attracted, was a friends ex, felt like i should do it with someone i care more about) i didn't. knowing the girl i liked was a virgin would probably help me relax about the fact that im a virgin a lot and i would feel really happy to know that even at this point i still have the opportunity to lose my virginity with someone else
So I have a female best friend I've met at uni. She's currently in an LDR and recently has been "successfully" reigniting the spark in her relationship. However, she and I do everything together and spend nearly every day together (physical contact is frequent, like bumping into each other or leaning on one another while watching a play and shit, etc;). I'd date her in a heartbeat but I don't want to put her in that situation.
Now the above paragraph isn't what I'm here for, it's just background info. What's really weird is that she slowly hinted about a "wet dream" she had last night about someone she knew, but was too embarrassed to say. Eventually, she confessed that it was about me and didn't want it to be awkward. I'm usually good in social scenarios, but I honestly have no idea what to do with this information.
Do I pursue it or let it be? She's told me this happens every now and then, which I assured her isn't abnormal, but what just strikes out as weird is that she hinted at it and then eventually told me. Not something I can exactly plan for.
Pic related. It's what I've looked like for the past 2 hours since she left.
I found this out from observing my girlfriend's friends.
1) She's busy socialising with someone else (on the phone, in person, whatever) or doing something else more important at the time
2) If she's into you, she's gonna look for advice over even the simplest things on how she should reply from her close friends
3) If she's not into you, she will think that making it seem like she's not interested will give you enough of a message. But in person she doesn't want to seem like a dick and will act friendly.
My first kiss was a 23. I did fine, just followed her lead and did what came natural (More than fine even. I've kissed lots of girls and guys since, she's objectively still probably the most skilled kisser I've ever experienced, and despite it being my first, she walked away--or rather literally skipped away--just as giddy as me).
A lot of people are pretty bad at kissing at every age and experience, so it's hard to embarrass yourself to begin with. If you're worried, just start sweet and go from there. Don't try to suck their face off, don't slobber all over them, don't jam your tongue in their mouth, simple and sweet.
Had an hour and a half coffee date with a girl tonight. Texted her afterwards and all that. Said she looked cute too. She and I were laughing a bit at each others stories too. She was open for a second date as well and I hugged her goodbye.
Why do I have this uneasy feeling like I messed up? I haven't been on a date in a few years btw.
I don't really know actually. I guess out of boredom. Usually Tinder is absolute shit, but I was able to actually have God conversations with this girl. I didn't even ask for her number, she gave it to me on her own.
>Why do I have this uneasy feeling like I messed up? I haven't been on a date in a few years btw.
You literally answered your own question.
Though to be honest, I don't think I've ever had a coffee date that didn't last 3+ hours/turn in to something else after, but then again, I have no idea about your schedules, and every one dates differently.
i've never drank before, is it safe for me to get drunk with my guy friends? I'm not a small girl (5'10", etc) but most of my friends are guys and my roommates tell me that they'll try to take advantage of me even if they wouldn't normally
they want to watch american horror story and play drinking games, so it wont really be a party or anything
I thought that was second date purposes? At least that was what I was gonna try this thursday when we agreed to meet again (hopefully).
That's what I was thinking it could turn into later on with dinner maybe. But she seems focused on getting enough sleep because she has work at 7 AM.
Just don't wanna mess this up because again the really long dry spell and she's different from other girls (she likes to play skyrim). Also she's pretty cute.
Don't start with drinking games, it's guaranteed to not end well even if you don't get raped.
Then what comes to getting drunk with your friends you know them better than anyone else. If they seem sketchy then it's not a good idea but I don't know why you'd be their friend in the first place in that case.
girls is there any way i can tell if this girl in my class is checking me out?
i used to stare at this girl a lot because she is a qt and the class is pretty boring and slow. But i kind of felt like a loser giving this girl that doesnt know me a longing gaze that was never returned or acknowledged, so i cut back on the staring a lot almost completely.
by chance i found her on instagram tagged in a post by a local band i follow, so i followed her and she followed back. i have been liking some of her pics and she started liking mine too.
now every once in a while in class for the past couple weeks when i look up from spacing out or whatever, I'll look up to see her staring right at me and we make eye contact for a moment before she looks away.
this probably doesn't mean much, but the semester is ending soon so if theres an opportunity here i want to take it before its too late
isn't it fucked up that you got a different dude you have a one night stand with and a dude you date?
like nobody wants to be the latter option
it's like being the side bitch/mistress. being the "support" boyfriend is like being a woman only used for sex, nobody's into that shit
That depends entirely on your friends.
Most guys you should probably be safe with, but when I say most, it's probably like a 80 to 20 ratio something like that.
People tend to be less inhibited when they get drunk, and it affects everyone differently Could they become more liberal with their touches? Maybe. Will they flat out rape you? No (unless you hang out with scummy as hell friends/strangers. I can't outright say it's not a possibility, especially because I do know and have been close to some girls that got legit drugged and raped at parties--and it was by acquaintances)
Personally, I tend to be the conservative side, but even I've definitely found hooked up with girls just because we were both drunk and said fuck it (my best friend and one of my favorite one night stands happened this way--mutually consensual of course).
If you don't trust your friends, either don't go, or go with one that you do, and watch eachother's backs. When in doubt, buddy system it out.
well if i had some insight into whether or not she may be interested i could have some more confidence about it. really though i have no idea how to even attempt to naturally ask her out. i'd like to start by talking to her first or interacting with her in real life somehow. iv seen her between some of my other classes in the same building as me, so i guess I'm hoping that fate will just present me with a chance at some point, and at that point i will be more willing to take it if i have some more confidence
is it ever NOT a mood killer to ask for permission to do something relatively "small"? (kiss, put your arm around her, hug, etc?)
i caught myself doing it the other day. i said "i really wanna kiss you' to a girl that i'm friends with. and i instantly cringed at myself
Yes, unless she's on birth control and I trust her to be smart about it.
I wouldnt advise it unless there's someone there you can trust to keep people from being shitters. People use alcohol as an excuse too much.
Never had to, to be honest. I meet very few guys I'd actually be interested in dating, and they've asked me out first.
I don't know about other girls, but I don't think "I want to date them" when I see a guy I think is attractive, I just check them out. I'd have to like a guy's personality to actually want to date him
This is the cock you're looking for
>this is how you get rape charges anon.
>always ask permission
Who are you people fucking? Why would you be with someone that would charge you with rape?
I am not talking about strangers and I'm not talking about whipping it out and fucking her if she doesn't protest.
>isn't it fucked up that you got a different dude you have a one night stand with and a dude you date?
Um... how is this fucked up again? It's just women getting theirs.
Are you seriously telling me that you don't want side bitches? Or fat bitches that cook you food that you don't have to fuck?
Come on man. What I think is fucked up is that men let themselves get suckered into that shit. If you don't want to be her emotional tampon men, then stop. it's that simple for fuck's sake but all I ever hear about from women is how you guys don't stand up for yourselves and get used at the mere hint of pussy.
>Why would you be with someone that would charge you with rape?
You know how people get into relationships, and the partner turns out to be abusive or unfaithful? It's not like they're wearing a sign saying "I'm an asshole".
>Are you seriously telling me that you don't want side bitches?
That sounds like something that would appeal to me in highschool. Nowadays, I'd rather be single than deal with that kind of shit.
>You should have mutual trust
Which I fully agree with. But sometimes people betray that trust. I'm just saying, sometimes people hide the shitty side of their personality fairly well.
Yea, I guess. But it still would be a mood killer to ask for permission. It just seems weird to me, but then again I have never had a one night stand or sex with someone that I didn't know pretty well.
I have, and I've had potential ones where I've completely ejected because I tend to get to know or read people pretty well beforehand, and things just don't sit right.
I agree some people hide their shitty side fairly well... but also... if you're judicious and not desperate, you can still dodge a ton of crazy.
>Girl I met a few years ago and became FB friends with
>Was fat when I met her
>I think she liked me at the time
>Didn't really talk for 2 yearrs
>Suddenly lost all the weight and got really attractive
>Posted a halloween costume that was so in my strike zone that I can't stop thinking about it.
Even if I don't think I can have a relationship with her or anything, I'm so impressed by what she's done with herself that I'd really like to say something, but it's been 3 days since she posted the pic already. I also feel like an asshole for being like "hey, I didn't like you when you're fat but you're hot now," even if I say it in a more tactful way.
Should I just let it go? Wait for another opportunity? Say something now? If so, what?
The past few months sex had been sucking with my s/o. We had established that it was because he had been watching porn on these days. Normally when he dosnt watch porn it's better. What I mean by better is that sex is Actually happening and he's able to finish.
We normally only see each other once a week since were both busy and live on opposite ends of the city and tonight we didn't have sex because he admitted to looking at porn this morning. I can't help but feel annoyed and like I'm unimportant to him. He said I was being unreasonable and ridiculous and I shouldn't be able to get mad at him for this. I'm
Not blood boiling angry though I'm just let down and going through a hard time trying to help my best friend go through a hard divorce. And I guess this week I wanted to feel connected to him and cared for.
Am I being crazy? Can someone but this into the male perspective for me.
If you're telling the truth, what do you ACTUALLY want from her?
Terrible. You're either going to get a vague "I'm busy" or a bullshit excuse, neither of which is actually going to give you an answer.
Did he know you were coming when he decided to watch porn and jerk off?
If you had arranged to meet up in advance so that he was aware that you'd be coming over later on that day then you had the right to be mad at him since you've talked about the issue. Though you can't just expect him to not ever watch porn or masturbate just because you might be coming over at any moment, especially when you don't see each other that often.
If you spend most days together and you wanted sex on a daily basis and he wouldn't be able to do it because of porn then you'd have every right to be mad at him for doing it at all.
>If you're telling the truth, what do you ACTUALLY want from her?
Half is just that I'm legitimately so impressed with her transformation that I'd like to say something nice about it.
The other half, probably not surprisingly, is that I want to bang her senseless.
That's really reinforced by the costume she chose to make, too, there's a particular uncommon fetish that I have that it hits exactly, and it's not canon to the character so I know she made a conscious choice to make it that way. It indicates that she actually shares my fetish and that as much as anything is what drives me wild.
On one hand, I'm just going to say you shouldn't be bothered by the porn thing--but it sounds like you're not, except for the fact that he does it on days you're supposed to have sex. On the other hand, the fact that he apparently prefers porn to you--when consider that you only meet once a week--is kind of ridiculous imo...
I say all that as a guy who's probably in a similar dynamic as far as logistics. My girlfriend and I pretty much only get to meet once a week as well... and I've noticed my ability to finish is also slightly hampered on days I watch porn (like, I have no problems having erections, going for hours, or with my recoup time, but actually cumming becomes more difficult and I know it bugs my gf because she feels like it's unfair) so when we do, definitely no porn for me.
I think you have legit reason to be a little bit bothered, but that's probably not the main issue here. Contextually, the fact that this has been happening for months all definitely sounds symptomatic of a much, much larger issue.
You guys need to sit down and have a serious discussion and find out what's going on in your relationship as a whole.
Is it normal to feel like absolute shit while thinking about your crush (who doesn't have feelings for you) being with other guys? What's the best way to ignore the fact you'll never be more than acquiantances while other guys are getting some? Is this jealousy or self-esteem making me think like this?
You don't. I'm assuming you weren't dating her, in which case it's not like closure in order to know if you're single or not or anything
Well to be honest, I don't see a way of saying anything that doesn't scream "I'm an asshole who didn't want to date you when you were fat but now that you're hot I just want to get in your pants" even if it is well-intentioned. I'm not saying you are an asshole, I don't know you well enough to judge that, but that's how it's going to come across. I'd recommend not saying anything, honestly, especially if you haven't talked to her in a while, because that just reinforces the 'I just want sex from you' message.
Is it normal? I don't know, probably.
How to ignore it? Don't get hung up on one girl, find another one. It's not like they're rare
Is it jealous or self esteem? Probably both, but probably the former.
And if you haven't tried to make a move or ask her out and are just waiting for her to fall in love with you one day, I don't have any sympathy for you.
Yeah, that's kind of what I thought.
To be fair, when we met, I was a week out of a 5 year relationship and not really looking to date, and she knew that, so I have a pretty plausible explanation for the lack of interest.
I'm likely to see her at a convention in a couple of months, think it's acceptable to say something at that point?
>I'm likely to see her at a convention in a couple of months, think it's acceptable to say something at that point?
I'd say something generic like "hey, you're looking great", but I'd avoid making specific comments on her body. Even if she doesn't think you're an asshole, it might make her uncomfortable
I'm not bothered by porn. I watch it as well. We have talked about it, he basically just said he had night classes and works at a bar so he when he wakes up he had time to jerk it and so he does and he basically just said he was horny and that he dosnt jerk off often anymore when he sees me. I'm sleeping over at his house tonight but I can't sleep and I just feel frustrated. I don't think there's much else going on
Have you considered complimenting her on the weight loss and the costume. You could even point out what she did with the costume. It's gonna sound a bit like you're just interested in her now that she lost some weight but it's a risk you gotta take.
>Hey great job with losing some weight(, you look great.)
>btw I love what you did with x and your halloween costume ;)
Made moves on her but she left for college. Now I see her sending emojiis and posting on Snapchat with a guy she's sleeping with. I met him at a party once and he's weird. Just kind of crushes me inside and I feel like there's something wrong with me that this guy 1uped me on
Yeah, that's kind of what I intended on doing.
She's a cosplayer and her costume was actually worn to a convention that happened to take place on halloween, so it's not unlikely that she'll actually be wearing it or something similar if/when I run into her.
Actually pointing out what I like about the costume might be a pretty bad idea though, it's a pretty pervy detail to bring up.
>Actually pointing out what I like about the costume might be a pretty bad idea though, it's a pretty pervy detail to bring up.
That's why I recommended keeping it generic. Compliment her on the costume she's wearing at the time, but I wouldn't make comments on her body or bring up the Halloween costume.
Would you be willing to date her? Or do you just want sex?
i worded it badly, I just mean it's good you're not normally bugged by it and you have legitimate claim to be if he's doing it on days he knows you're going to see each other.
How long have you guys been going out? I'm guessing your sex life getting crappier corresponds to school starting (which makes sense)? Has anything else in his behavior changed aside from him just being more tired?
I.E. Has he always been this way? It makes sense if he always has; but if he used to go the extra mile to make sure you were pleasured, and then suddenly stopped, that change in behavior is a serious red flag.
If just that's how he's always been, he's just being kind of a dick for jerking it on a day he knew you were going to meet.
I would be, but it's not practical because she lives 400mi away. (I'm in LA, she's near SF.) She's also quite a bit younger than I am, not enough to make sleeping together particularly creepy but a point where dating would be kind of weird.
We were fwb's for 1.5 years and we just started "dating" 9 months ago. Idk I mean sometimes he'll make the extra drive to come see me and fuck but ya the sex had been getting worse. And I mean he offered to finger me and shit it's his dick that sucks. Ie. problems cumming, or him keekinf to much and us just not having sex
yeah, I don't really have them that high.
To be straight, I just can't stop fantasizing about her, and that's an experience I've never had with somebody I've actually known but wasn't already sleeping with. It's like, if some omnipotent god had gotten inside my head and custom-tailored a girl to my preferences, she would've looked exactly like that picture from halloween, and it's so uncanny that it's driving me nuts.
I don't have jealousy and fights and there isn't even the tiniest bit of opacity in my completely monogamous relationship. If you want one then that's fine, just find a girl who wants one too. Don't try to push your beliefs onto others like a vegan or a Christian
>hang out with oneitis and her friends yesterday
>oneitis post the photo on facebook
>tags everyone except me
what does that even mean?
Advice for obtaining a sex life?
>turning 22 this month
>no sex life
>almost had sex in 2014; but I didn't fit inside her
>was a summer fling, didn't see eachother after summer
>its been 1.5 years, no sex, no kissing since then
>have good friends, good family relationships
>working on a degree in child studies and education, already working as a teacher
>plenty of women around in my professional life; mostly married or in serious relationships
>great friends, varied friend groups
>getting my shit together and have a happy life for the most part
>no females, no sex
I feel like I've already missed out on a lot of experiences. I'm not a prude, don't romanticize sex, very open-minded. I think I could've been a very sexually adventurous teenager; but my teenage years went by so quickly. Now I'm in my twenties and confronted with sex, relationships, and even friends having kids.
Been with my girlfriend for 6 months and one of the things we still don't have is that online communication I see most couples have. We text each other maybe every 2-3 days, mostly just planning our next date but other than that things feel so dead in between, like our lives only connect when were physically together but otherwise: we don't hang out with each others friends/have any real ties to them, and it feels like we're in our own little worlds.
>how do I get more Internet/Facebook connected with gf? We're fairly avid users, her more so than me.
Not that guy, but I've tried this with no luck.
I'm 29, two years out of a 5-year relationship, and my non-single friends, male and female, all tell me that I'm doing everything right and they can't figure out why it's not working. I'm LA, and pretty much everybody here is from out of town, so nobody has local single female friends to introduce me to, either.
I can't even begin to express of hearing "you're so cool, I would totally have dated you if I wasn't already married to ______" and "just keep it up and I'm sure you'll find somebody soon" for years on end.
Keep yourself busy with other things: work, school, hobbies, etc. Overtime you'll naturally care less as your attention is held by other things, and you'll also look like it hasn't affected you much since then.
Depends on you and the girl really.
The girl with I'm currently in an open relationship had a past with very pushy, overbearing boyfriends. Sometimes she is a little jealous, but admits that she likes it better that way. It takes a lot of pressure from her.
But I know, that I get sexually frustrated pretty quickly. So if I had nothing else going for a long time while in an open relationship, while she has, I'd feel neglected I think.
Your best bet, I think, is to just ask her about it.
Date a girl. She doesn't live alone, lives with her mother. I live in an apartment with my brother.
Most of our dates are outside and pretty enjoyable, but so far she only came over once to watch a movie and nothing big happened. To be honest I want to have sex with her, how can I increase my chances? I don't think that constantly suggesting we head to my place will do.
Have self respect and confidence. Always fight for your partner but never fight over them. There are millions of people out there, people who would want to be with you and only you. Dont waste your time and tears on someone who you are not important to, flirts and fucks around with other people and hurts you. Read and accept pic related. It's a quote that's always stuck with me.
Would it be weird if I asked out a girl 8 years older than me? I'm 20 and I've known her since she started college (extracurricular stuff, mutual friends). She's always treated me like a little brother (especially when I was in high school) but I'd like to give it a shot...
I would be less concerned about the age difference per se and more about the pseudo brother-sister relationship.
You're probably not that much on the same wavelength socially, so it might be a bit weird.
>tall, attractive, outgoing and friendly guy
>incapable of forming bonds with people
>still able to fake emotions effectively
>with older female associate yesterday
>"Still don't have a girlfriend yet?"
>"No. I have no interest in one."
>"People will start to think you're weird."
>prefer to have the appearance of normalcy
>look into it
>decide to acquire a gf within the near future
Women: Is the prospect of being with a guy who is unable to love you unappealing?
I can fake the expected emotions if necessary, but it'd be much more convenient if I didn't have to.
she know me becuse
>follow oneitis facebook
>she click like on something
>spent 100 usd to buy a present for her
>give her my present
>think she like it
>she still hasn't texted me
>even a thanks
>Want girl who will peg my ass.
>Fetlife doesn't have any girls in my town who's actively into it.
>Craiglist and backpages are bare and no one responds.
>Bunch of dudes saying I should just be gay.
Where else can I look?
>get an even slightly kinky gf/fwb
>discuss your fetishes
>tell her you've always wanted to try prostate massage
Then one of the following happens
>she does it
>ask her to do it again because it felt good
>now you've got a girl who'll peg you
>she finds it disgusting and call you gay
>you drop their ass and go back to step 1
Guy asking about girls, on Snapchat, do you leave me on read purposely are just by accident. Because she's always saying "oh sorry I forgot to hit send." Like just tell me you don't fucking like me
>leave me on read
Does that mean viewing a snap and not sending one back?
Well I could do this for a couple reasons
>His snap looked like a group snap
>I didn't have anything to say about it
>I'm not in a place where I can take a picture (public, etc)
So on so forth
So what? If they make fun of it while you're around just tell them it feels great and they should totally try it. If they go "but anon that's gay" then remind them that it'd only be gay if there was a man doing it and you're not too insecure about your sexuality and are willing to try out stuff that could be fun.
Besides if you're lucky you could even attract someone who's really into it with all the rumors as long as you don't get insecure about it.
You know what anon, you a right.
I'll do it.
I hope you and everyone you love have a nice rest of their life.
ok story time
So one of my female friends has these sisters and a cousin who I met at the pub - I actually got one of the sisters numbers for whatever reason (can't remember - to go to someones house I think) but I didn't save it in my phone (no idea why - drunk). Then the cousin added me on Facebook and I thought nothing of it
but then turns out she dumped her bf (who is the complete opposite of me) via text, kept messaging me whilst i was at work, i said I was too busy to talk, still kept bugging me, had to ignore her because she literally would not stop leaving me alone - kept begging to meet up, then invited me selectively to an event, unfriended me, then messaged me again - then got back with her bf (who I'm now acquaintances / fb friends with), but then she dumped him again.
anyway she's added me on facebook again, I wanna accept it and be civil and cool but I don't want to repeat what happened. should I continue ignoring?
I keep seeing oneitis in this thread. It's pathetic. No offense.
Let's get this straight. Up to what point can you call your attraction to this girl 'oneitis'? Up to when you move on? When she reciprocates and you start dating? Or only when you finally go exclusive and proclaim you love each other?
>talking to girl, just chitchat
>girl I've been going out with casually comes up from behind
>stands next to me
>doesn't say anything
>give her a smile and a 'hey'
>she returns it
>she just stands there until I end chitchat a few minutes later
I know you're no mind readers, girls, but humor me with your creativity. What's up here?
Not about the virginity in itself. Sexually an experienced guy is comfortable and practical, someone who's experiencing everything for the first time is exciting and flattering in a weird way. I would care if the guy was a virgin in a negative bigger scheme, though, like him having sky high unrealistic expectations of what relationships are like, or obviously being desperate to just be with someone already without giving a fuck who she is beyond a woman etc.
I've seen plenty of "couldn't" that actually meant "wallow in self-pity and pretend you can't". That's not depression, that's being a bitter virgin.
And no, name-calling doesn't strengthen your point. Seriously, you're puffing yourself up for a group you don't even relate to.
The depression thing was an analogy, you dumb cunt. Name calling isn't meant to strengthen my point, my point stands on its own. The name calling is making sure you're aware of just how fucking dumb you are. I don't need to relate to people to spot a retard.
She wanted you to include her maybe. Or introduce her, if they don't know each other. Just be like "Oh, this is my girlfriend, she sucks a mean dick" or something.
Or maybe she's just shy.
Doesn't it just mean fixation on one girl?
Just fuck them hard enough they wont have the energy to cheat.
If we'd have been together for 15+ years and have seen the best and worst of life together and we both feel desire to open it up... then I'd want to talk about and explore that and give it serious consideration.
If I meet a guy "interested" in dating me but not so much that he can actually not fuck random girls at the same time, he can go fuck himself (or rather, them).
There's having a crush on someone in the sense that they give you tingles and seeing them brightens your day, you need minor flirting from them to get turned on, you catch yourself daydreaming about them etc. This is the kind of crush where it doesn't actually have to hurt if they are in a relationship, and that does not necessarily have to be a threat if you are in a relationship. It's superficial enough that it's mostly positive.
Onitis is where you are so in love with someone that other people look bland and uninteresting to you, regardless of how much hotter they are, that they are disappointing not because of how they match up to your desired one but simply already for not being them in the first place.
Girls: I started dating this girl last Thursday and I don't have a ton of relationship experience. How long should I wait before trying to kiss her?
Panties/Swimsuit bottoms that are cut so ridiculously low that they expose most or all of the mons pubis. Pic related is an example. (And is not the girl in question.)
It's not that weird or kinky of a fetish to have, I guess, but it's something I've pretty much never seen in the west. I got some like that for my ex and the only way I could find them was to order them from a Japanese fetish seller on Rakuten (and then she thought they were so stupid that she refused to wear them.) The girl in question had to have gone quite out of her way to get this specific look.