>>16425211 I respect the fact that you just don't seem to like sex and it's okay if it's not your cup of tea. But I think maybe you should give masturbating a try to make sure you don't like it just in case. It could be all of your experiences just weren't doing it for you because the way it was done wasn't best for you personally.
>>16425239 I have tried to masturbate for ten years with no hope. Penetration, clitoris stimulation, g-spot, u-spot, vibrator, it just does nothing. It just doesn't feel good, if and when it feels like anything at all.
All relationships are essentially contracts, so what you do is you make some sort of sacrifice in exchange for the absence of sex in the relationship.
I personally would very much consider taking a girlfriend I didn't have sex with - doing all the bf/gf stuff, etc - as long as (1) I liked her independently of sex, obviously, and (2) she let me pursue and fuck other women.
that's a pretty big sacrifice, but then so is no sex.
>>16425239 Also try lube. Many women have problems with getting their vagina self lubricated. You said that you find sex unpleasant, so maybe thats the problem. (or your vaginal tract is sealed shut, and till now you tryed having sex through your urethra. That happens. But hell its very uncommon). If thats not the problem, i have another question. What do you want from a relationship? Is it only the connection, or do you also want to touch and kiss that other person in your life?
>>16425318 Have you ever seen a child lure an animal to be held with food on a bait, and then mangle the shit out of it once he catches it?
Cuddling is the bait. I know I'll have to pay dearly for it when I get cornered so I don't go for it.
Sex is the poison in the soup. I can't usually even cuddle a guy because I'll be focused on dreading the moment he'll start trying to go at it. I hate not being able to let my guard down but seriously I'd be an idiot to not expect it.
>>16425305 i am the one that asked the question, lets call me Ben, just for the purpose of the conversation, because you interrest me. So do you have any idea why you dont feel sexual stimulation pleasant down there? The two kinds of people i've met, that feel the way you do, are people who have been sexually abused or raped (most of them as children) or transgendered people.
>>16425160 I knew a girl who said she was asexual and hated sex. She was super up tightwad bitchy. She got a boyfriend and got laid now she's super chill and apparently loves sex. If you don't like sex it means your brain is literally broken and you need professional help not some fags on the Internet.
>>16425353 I watch porn, though my fetishes tend to be shit that is so distanced from actual sex that they aren't any help.
I lost count of how many sexual partners I've had between six and seven. I got taken home by two guys and can't remember if the other one fucked me too.
I've been in multiple long distance online things, getting sad lonely men on the opposite side of the planet to fall in love with me is the only talent I have. Online relationships are literally worse than nothing.
>>16425354 I'm trying to keep the whole transgender nonsense under a lid because I don't want that bullshit in my life. I just don't see why anyone at all ever would want to be a woman.
>>16425387 Ok xan i ask what your fetisges are And idk what to tell you abt this bf thing you seem to be stuck... have you considered online dating a guy in a near by country or province ..... you can skype... have phone sex n when ur ready make a special date to met up if you live like 4 hours away?
>>16425398 I want physical closure. Cuddles. Going through the strain of being in a relationship and having to dread the demand for sex ANYWAY with nothing in return is just like paying rent for an apartment you don't live in.
>>16425406 I have bad experiences with penises and people who have them.
If you stand too close behind a horse, it will kick you.
If you stay too close to person with a penis, he will make you touch it.
>>16425387 I dont have the perfect answer, well then again no one has. But you need to think about how important a relationship is to you. What you are willing to sacrifice for it. If you find a Man that really loves you for who you are, is he worth rewarding with pleasure? I mean, he will know that you dont like sex. And if he loves you the way you love him. (not very common also, i know) then you can find some sort of compromise, where he trys not to have sex with you, but you satisfy his needs (that he has) every now and then, by means other than your vagina (or even with your vagina) It all comes down to your love and understanding with each other. (Sorry i maybe to naive but thats what i think)
>>16425463 It doesn't repulse me. That was my own fault for putting myself in harm's way, knowing there would be men there and going anyway. The urge to get drunk was still stronger than the urge to avoid getting fucked.
Basically I reasoned that the goal is to get so drunk that I don't care that I'll get fucked. Everyone wins.
Though I'm happy about living alone and having the luxury of getting drunk in the safety of my own room whenever I need it.
I think if you have the attitude "I don't want to have sex ever because it's boring" you might struggle in your relationships. Not because you should want to have sex, but because it shows a complete disregard of the feelings of your partner and no willingness to try and please them.
There's no reason that intimacy and physical interaction shouldn't be on some level pleasurable with the person you love. If you're just selfish, immune to physical pleasure of any kind, and want someone that respects that then I guess you're going to have to find some kind of asexual dating website.
Most people will think you're just a bit of shitty person.
>>16425487 That's equally as useless as online things.
Human beings are social animals. The need for human company is an actual literal NEED. Loneliness isn't just a sad feels, it's the same kind of a distress signal as being hungry or cold. Your tiny animal brain has concluded that you have been separated fom the clan and are therefore in immediate, obvious danger and need to seek the company of others immediately.
Your instincts don't realise that you can survive without human company just as well as your hungry stomach doesn't know there's a fridge in the other room. Your body WILL interpet a diet as a time of famine, and physical isolation as a sign of immediate, instant, constant fucking danger.
That's why it feels like you're dying. Because the oldest parts of your brain believe you are.
>>16425492 If your partner demanded that you spend half an hour brushing their teeth twice per week, would you do that?
And s/he'll always ask just the very minute you get comfortable. No, it can't wait. You have to get up and go do it. And once you're done, your good mood is gone as well. And your partner is angry that you didn't pretend to like it as well.
Or worse, they won't let you stop before you pretend to like it.
>>16425504 I like fat guys. Probably something to do with no sex, too. Being obese fucks up your hormones, ups estrogen production in men. It's literally emasculating, and more than a little humiliating. Makes them less threatening.
>>16425506 >That's why it feels like you're dying. but it doesn't. What are you talking about? Also, someone getting a wifu or online relationship doesn't mean they aren't interacting with other people normally. OP stated that one of the problems was that she couldn't leave her family, which indicate that she isn't completely isolated.
>>16425569 If you think that every guy out there wants sex from you, why are you even looking for one if you already lost hope? Despite the fact that probably 90% of guys would ask for it, not all of them are like that. So please don't say "all the guys want sex from me" because it is just not true, perhaps for the guys you've met before.
I'm not trying to make myself sound like some unique special snowflake that all men want to rape. A cunt is a cunt and most women are completely interchargeable to most men. I just take particular concern over myself because other people are not my business.
And I'm not saying all men. I know there are men who don't want sex. I just have no fucking clue where to start looking for one in a society where it's rude to talk to strangers unless you're both drunk, and men in bars are there for a reason.
>If your partner demanded that you spend half an hour brushing their teeth twice per week, would you do that?
Quite honestly yes, if my partner needed me to do something that only takes an hour of my week I would. Why wouldn't I?
If my current partner demanded I have sex with them whatever instant they felt like it I'd tell them to fuck off. That's unreasonable. What you said earlier was that you find sex boring and possibly painful. Not that it made you depressed. I'd finding brushing my partner's teeth boring, it wouldn't "ruin my good mood".
Sex isn't just someone jackhammering your vagina. If I didn't like penetration I would still find pleasure in the warmth and comfort of their body, and I would keep any penetration minimal and avoid it all together if I could. There is no reason for them to not orgasm though. I don't know why I would find spending 30 minutes cuddling and playing with my partner so painful and boring.
So if you have some deeper issue with intimacy then you need to get that sorted out because it's going to be a fucking huge problem with any relationship with someone that isn't asexual. If you just think penetration is a bit shit then just fucking suck it up. Literally. Shit, I spend more time watching television shows I hate than I would having to fuck someone.
>>16425601 Hm, I'm starting to run out of ideas. We're somewhat in the same boat though. Guess it all comes down to random encounters while doing arbitrary shit, while not actively looking for someone. When my partner wouldn't get sex from me they'd probably cheat or flat out leave for not showing enough interest, I'd imagine.
>>16425633 The way people keep mistaking physical intimacy with sex in this thread is really, truly, deeply confusing to me.
I like closure. I like touching, being touched, kissing, being kissed, hugging, cuddling together, touching each other and all that, and the presence of an erection (or merely having to dread it) is roughly as welcome of an addition as motor oil to an ice cream cake.
>>16425644 I understand your way of thinking that way. There are still millions of people out there for which sex is a must-have if you're in a relationship since you can't do it alone. They think that you don't need a relationship if you won't have sex.
> the presence of an erection Wait, do you get the creeps upon seeing an erect penis? Getting turned on from being intimate with someone is nothing to be scared of, if that person doesn't intend to surpise-fuck you with it. Is that what you fear?
Well you also think that wanting to have an orgasm with a partner is the same as wanting to have your partner wipe your ass. So I'm not surprised how you fail to understand human sexuality.
For most people sex and physical intimacy are not separate things. Making out with someone and penetration are just different elements of sex.
The plot keeps thickening here. First it seemed you were asexual. Then it seemed like you just didn't enjoy sex. Now you seem to have quite a deep disgust at the idea of the male form.
As others have said you need some kind of sex therapy. Or you need to find a very specific and understanding partner for your needs. Nobody can tell you how to find a person that will be happy for you to find their body disgusting, will not desire sexual pleasure from you, but will also want to have heavy petting sessions.
>>16425679 Well, an erection is usually the point where a perfectly nice moment comes to a screeching halt and becomes a three-hour argument of why-don't-you-let-me-put-it-in. I don't particularly like that.
>>16425687 I'm not disgusted by the male form as it is. It just has certain functions I don't want done to me.
>>16425708 Only because you expect it to happen doesn't mean it will be like that. If I'm getting turned on, then I get an erection. Simple as that. It doesn't overwrite my brain so that I can't control where I'm putting my genitals. It's a normal bodily function. Just like it causes you to sneeze when you got someone's hair on your nose. That doesn't imply that they're allergic to you.
>>16425708 Look, from what I've seen in this thread you really do have some underlying issues that you legitimately need to see a therapist about. You are teeming with insecurities, most of them seem to be centered around anything having to do with sex, though some of which seem to have been rooted in your father's and your own drinking habits. You really should resolve your own issues before you go looking for someone to use as a crutch.
>alcoholic father >therefore drink alcohol out because it's alcoholic to drink at home
>perfectly happy making out and cuddling, but a boner would ruin it I don't remember a time when I was making out with someone and didn't get a boner. It's an intimate act on its own. Did it lead to sex every time? No, of course not. Some nights are really well spent actually "Netflix and chill"-ing. But often cuddling and making out is the preamble to sex.
So that's why you should get therapy, then. Either you'll keep up your apparent strategy of avoidance, or you'll actually admit that you have issues that need to be addressed so you can improve your quality of life.
>>16425844 And why do you think that is? Do you feel like you have to act like that when you have a penis, or is it because you feel inferior during sex due to being penetrated instead of penetrating others?
>>16425886 I do get attracted to people, but usually only those who are inaccessable for one reason or another. As a rule of thumb I've never been in a relationship with someone I've been romantically interested in and I've never been romanticaly interested in someone I've had a relationship with.
>>16425160 Good question, being ace is pretty weird, I don't bother dating because I'm afraid they'll ask for sex which I just can't do. I just try to look at it from a light perspective, now I have more time to focus on my goals. But I know where your coming from. >tfw no sociopath ace bf
>>16426013 No not the not fealing empathy part, that's a bit upsetting but it's not they're fault. I just love talking to them and they're personalities even if they do and think fucked up things sometimes. Their way of thinking is superior in terms of survival. Something about them is just so charming and fascinating to me, plus I don't think I'm a good match for normal people I'm very um quirky I guess?
OP I'd say find a guy with a fucked up dick to be with but based on your earlier answer it sounds like you don't live in the US/Canada/Australia so that'd probably be harder to do. I can't even think of a good way to find guys like that, many of them probably blend in with the beta virgin crowd.
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