Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network issues. Refreshing the page usually helps. The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact. You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random
>Be me >17 >Senior >Get idea >Print out lots of picyures of dicks, vagoos, nicolas cage, the usual stuff >Not just regular dicks, like fucked up stuff I got on /b/ >Bring them to library >Discreetly put them in books nobody will be looking at for a long time (A history of watches) >Must have had like, 60 or 70 >Nobody found out >Graduated >Hear from old friend somebody found one, then another, and they had to look through every book in the library, closing it for a day >Shit was cash
>went to random house party >we weren't allowed in the house only backyard >i get drunk >go into house >go upstairs >man in overalls at the end of the hallway looked like redneck >looks at me and makes noise >charges >throw some chairs and shit to stall it >jump down stairs >sprain ankle >too much adraneline >run to basement >hide in closet as he searches around house for me >doesn't find me >scariest 2 hours of my life >sneak out >get the fuck out of there >not before i shit in the closet and pissed on the walls
Kind of lame story One summer during my heavy weed smoking dayz >Went into convenience store fairly often (Mac's), couple times a week >Started to steal stuff, not sure why, maybe to be cool >Every time i went in, I would steal like 7 or 8 bucks worth of stuff, then pay for about 2 bucks worth of stuff >Never caught >The Mac's bandit terrorizes the store >Pretty sure they never even noticed Got more shitty summer weed stories if interested
> Forgot grade > Swimming week! > Get kicked right in the face while in the pool > Fucking nosebleed > Let that blood pour out > Other kids scatter like fucking rabbits > Laugh > Teacher hauls me up by the arm and tells me to get in the locker room and stay there
>16 >Winter break >Me and then-boyfriend and our 2 buddies all drop acid one night >Take a walk, end up at McDonalds >Run into 4 other kids we know from school, they're all drinking except for one kid >We decide to keep walking, go to the Wal-Mart. It was like 2 AM >Get to wal-mart, everyone splits up. It's just me and the sober kid, we're near the card section >I see a Justin Bieber hand towel >It's on a rack that blocks the security camera >Get an idea >"Dude, wouldn't it be funny if we made a burning effigy of Justin Bieber in Wal-Mart?" >He gets a lighter >Towel goes up >Friend sees me, grabs us and gets us out of the store >We're standing outside for a minute, they don't really know what happened >Smoke alarm starts beeping >Sirens >We book it, hide under an overpass until the fire truck, cops and ambulance passes >Take the back roads back to my house >Notice a helicopter circling Wal-Mart
>>527637442 >be me >17, senior >have to go use the bathroom, missing AP bio >start taking a crap, hear someone walk in >take entire shit, nothing out of the ordinary, wipe up, leave stall >go to wash up >freshmeat comes in >"HOLY SHIT did anyone come in here just now WHAT DID HE SAY" >"um what? there was nobody here at all except you" >"you DUMBFUCK" >he runs out again >thefuck.jpg >look down hall, he's facing away from me, standing and flailing his arms wildly >I still have literally no idea what happened that day
>junior year >best friends are in my 6th period, which was a blessing because I never got classes with friends >we get into some shit with the teacher, ditch the class almost daily >often smoke weed a few blocks away from the school >one day we go out to smoke a few bowls >remember that I had hot cheetos in my backpack >MUNCHIES >sharing is caring, passing pipe and bag of cheetos around >my turn to pack a bowl >get an idea >break off a little piece off a cheeto and put it in the bowl >pack some bud on top >let one of my friends get greens >trying not to laugh as they each light up the bowl and inhale >my turn >"nah I'm good" >one of them gets suspicious >catches on pretty quick >stare at other friend still smoking >"you're smoking a cheeto, idiot." >turns to look at us >"I don't give a fuck" >2 months later >cancer
>Me and a friend smashed an elementary school window a couple times on separate occasions when we were drunk >The same window each time >No reason, just laughed when thinking about a teacher or student coming in and being devastated on a monday morning
>be 9th grade >walk into bathroom expecting to take a piss >random kids in there listening in to walls of stall >hear crying and eating >get retarded kid to look over stall >he screetches and bolts >the kid in the stall knew of our presence >we look over top >fat kid with shit all over his pants and on the floor eating food and crying >he tries to run out of bathroom >we use janitor mop on handle to lock the door >pic related >he has panic attack >falls on floor and covered in shit >we run out of there >don't see him ever again lel
>School has big :I Drive >Can see all teachers folders but need admin to get to them (duh) >Found shitty math teachers folder >Wasn't admin locked >Me and friends start posting Pirated movies games etc. For all kids at school >Only tell a few people >3 Months go by, 50gb's of movies alone (not much but alot at the time) There was also 10 gb's of music as well >Kid gets caught, tells teacher. >Tells principal >Tells ... administrator of network >Came to classes to pick up 3 of us >Talked to us about it >Punishment was no computer privileges for 1 week.
>>527648009 >sometime that summer, give or take a few months >me and buddy are smoking in a school parking lot >I'm sitting in passenger, look to my right and see a guy standing right outside the window >wtf >he taps on the glass >Hey you guys smoking? Can I have a hit? This was early in my smoking career, when you want to share weed like with anyone >Look to my friend he has no problem with it >He hops in the back >No kidding this guy looked the hatchet hitchiker >Honestly smelled terrible Dont think he was homeless though, this was in the suburbs >He was decently drunk too >Took a few hits, seemed cool enough >Starts saying weird shit about conspiracies and stuff >Nervously agree >He eventually leave Later me and my friend realize we let in a complete stranger in his car, and a weird one at that God we were dumb But everything turned out fine
>got really fucked up on 2CB >with about 10 friends >one guy mentions that theres a guy in the neighborhood that broke into his house >another guy knows him, has his cell phone number >call him up and lure him to the baseball diamond >he comes over >sees us all there and trys to run >tackle him and bring him back >starts off shouting, the one guy wants shit shit back of cash >turns into a fight >10v1
we all kinda went crazy, ended up crushing his head with a brick and burring him near the river. still havent been caught, no one really goes down there and i guess the river washes away all the smell so no animals have dug him up yet.
>junior year >friend's and I all have jobs so we spend money pretty frequently on stupid shit >one of my friends has a car >go to gas station (speedway) on weekends when we hang out >72 cent 44 oz slushies >each buy 2 or 3 of them >drive around throwing them at parked cars, houses, mostly mailboxes though >got out of the car one time and slammed one inside the mailbox >every weekend we would do this to many different places in town >the slushy vandals story starts to spread >ohshit.gif >other people start to do this too apparently >kid gets slushy thrown at his car one weekend and calls cops >during school we get called into principal's office >cops looked at security footage of us buying slushies at speedway >ask us a lot of questions >eventually get let off >the one time we don't do it and we almost get in trouble with the police
Popped a girls tires because she didn't deserve a BRAND NEW Mercedes SL 550... She was 17, and flipped that shit after about 200 yards...
That is how you breed elitist cunts who think they are entitled to everything. After that her parents bought her a shitty toyota, and surprisingly enough she became a really nice girl. Head of some charity now and says the crash changed her life....little does she know I fucking slashed the tire that caused it
>Sophmore year in high school >2nd year of spanish >Didnt give a fuck because my father had cancer >Test for spanish >Decide to write Diablo as every answer >Get taken to the office >They think im insane
>>527637442 >Be 16 >Have weird autistic Viet friend we'll call him Gung >Gung was one of the most creepiest, autistic kids in school but he was smart even though he put all the tards to shame >Be in passenger seat with Gung >Gung sees qt3.14 white grill >His favorite kind >He tries to talk to her >Forgot that he stalked her a month ago >She runs away >He gives chase >Try talking him out of it "Gung dude don't do it she'll call the police again c'mon man at least let me get out of the car before you continue with this" >He says "NO IMMA GET ME SOME WHITE BOOTY" in his rape-voice >He's driving alongside her trying to coerce her into the car >She calls him a freak >He gets mad and tells her that his face will be the last thing she sees >He starts driving towards her >Wonder what he's doing for a second then it hits me >He's about to hit her >We're in a nigger neighborhood so there isn't anyone to stop him >He's going 50 about to hit her >Grab steering wheel and steer away from her >Tell her to run faster >Gung is very upset >Bribe him with Wendys. His favorite
>be freshman >have PE class with a few special ed kids >one of the kids names is daniel >i am set to watch over him to make sure he is progressing >fucknigga extra credit yo >i call the kid danny >kid finds a liking to me >i become his bestfriend >start seeing that danny gets really defensive when my other friends punch me or fuck with me >lightbulb.jgp >put it in dannys head that they're trying to hurt me >danny doesnt like that one bit >one day we sit on the stairs after mile run and as usuual my friends come up to fuck with me >friends do the left nut right nut thing and start wailing on my arms >i act the most panicked ive ever been >danny and his retard strength completely lifts the kid over his shoulders and throws him down the stairs >my other friend looks in shock and tries to fight danny >no avail >dannys retard strength overwhelms him >danny pins his arms with his knees and wails on his face >broken nose shatered orbital bone. the whole package >I'm laughing like a fucking hyena the whole time >danny gets expelled and put into some sort of mental help place >hh hfjdii
>Be me >15 or 16 >Dumb high school kid >Discover Utorrent and The Pirate Bay >Download tons of free things >Music, Movies, Games >Wow this is great >Best use of my Computer ever >All newest movies, and albums >Coolest kid in my grade >Never seed anything >No fucks given
>>527649513 We weren't even bad kids We just did it once with a big pylon and burst out laughing. We almost considered going into the classroom and taking all the stuff from one kid's desk. We weren't that bold though
>>527650280 Now that I have unlimited internet I always seed torrents at night
Also >be 16 >same library class >this nigger always falls asleep and falls on this fat kid who doesn't seem to mind >i take pictures and compile them as the year progresses >get access to admin account one day >my masterplan will unfold >I upload my background image to all computers in the network >it is a compilation of this black kid sleeping on this fat kid >fat kid is devestate
>be me have GF >meet girl 9/10 in front office(i was an office aid) >decide i want to fuck her >ask for name don't talk to her for 2 weeks so she will find me more interesting >>works! >she comes looking for me in the office >pretend i don't remember her name so i don't seem desperate >works also, but now she thinks I'm not interested(perfect) >tell her she looks pretty >i can see her face light up and look over at me >ignore her for a week >she comes looking for me >tell her iv been looking for her but haven't seen her i was worried >she is so happy to hear me say that >flirt with her and ask for her number >gives it to me she is so happy >don't text her >see her in the hall she is very sad >walk away she didn't see me >text her 3 days later she is so happy to hear from me i can tell just from her texts >slowly do things like that to get her to fall in love with me it works >tell her i have a GF >she is devastated but by then she doesn't care >obviously sad when i see her but when i call her name and she sees me she runs over to hug me >generally treat her like shit because girls love that kind of stuff >always ask her out but she always says no >get tired of her >no longer in it for the sex just playing mind games with her >meet 10/10 girl and move on >when she sees me with the other girl she gets mad >one day she gets really pissed off and runs at me >im huggin 10/10 girl and i move her out of the way but she hits me >i fall on the floor and every one walks the dinosaur jk this really happened but after graduation i never heard anything about her but i really fucked with her mind a lot
>Same year, a couple of months before the wal-mart incident >Buy like $25 in paint from the dollar store >Go to the public bathrooms in the park with a friend >We splatter paint all over the Men's bathroom
>Go back a week later, everything is cleaned up >We buy more paint from the dollar store >This time there's 5 of us >Paint everywhere >Writing on the walls >Someone lit a trash can on fire
>Bathrooms closed for a year. They reopened them with an alarm system.
>12th grade >varsity baseball player >bitches wanted my dick but I had a crush on a girl >been crushin on her since like middle school >she was going out with some faggot junior at the time >guy was one of the biggest assholes I ever met >watching them kiss one day from a distance, while I was talking with some people outside my class >pissing me the fuck off >that shit eating grin the guy has, goddammit >open up my bag >take an apple out (usually eat it before practice) >fuck this shit >"Is that an apple, anon?" >throw it, aiming for the guy's face to embarass him >some other guy walks by, gets in the way >shit >hits other guy in the face >didn't see it coming, knocks him down >everyone is looking at him >shit shit shit >he gets up, covering his nose >blood is very noticiably oozing from between his fingers >some guys rush him to the bathroom >people looking around, "who did it?" "who was it?" etc >tell my friends not to say anything >felt guilty as shit during class >worried if anyone would snitch on me >I'm gonna get kicked off the team, FUCK >rest of the day passes by >never got in trouble for it
>Friend and I out near his house during the summer >He lives right by an elementary school >Get high as fuck and decide to walk around the school and check classroom doors and other things >One door is open for some reason, probably for some kind of summer class or something >Vandalize the shit out of the room.. pee all over the place, spray fire extinguisher all over, spray paint all over the walls >Didn't steal anything though. Room had a bunch of old computers and monitors and other typical classroom things
Feel kind of bad about it now. I mean I'm sure it was an easy enough thing to fix considering we didn't really break anything. Probably just had to vacuum and shampoo carpets, and paint walls, but still.
>Be time for senior prank >Superglue pennies over every single doors keyhole in the entire school >Never found out who did it, but there was talk of it being a felony or something, and I could have gotten in deep shit.
>be me, 15, sophomore >varsity football player >upper class men friends because of this >have one super close friend, well call him Cameron >senior, total pussy destroyer, football star, wrestling state champ >basically idolize him, is the biggest bro >invites me to party >fuckyeah >go to party, know nothing about pacing >belligerent by 10:30 >Cameron offers to smoke me out with 2 bitches >both also sloshed >go outside to nearby ally >420blazeitfaggot >I am at a new level of fucked up >Cameron says to meet him inside in a bit to okay beer pong >leaves with one bitch >leaves uglier bitch >5'2 chubby, sizable tits 5/10 >I'm drunk as fuck >alpha mode engaged, say nothing, push whore against wall and start making out >she's down >start feeling sick from cross fading >choose to ignore >starts undoing my belt and dropping to her knees >some of the best head I've gotten >whore knew what she was doing >can feel dinner rising into lower esophagus >head is too good. I can't stop now >starts sucking faster and faster >the moment of truth >vomit and ejaculate simultaneously both directly on to ginger girls face >she freaks or and starts cussing me out >"well I guess that's a personal problem" >pull up pants stumble into party again >beer pong >still don't know her name >mfw
>>527652487 Yeah man I know the exact feeling I did a behind the back throw of a rugby ball across the cafeteria. Perfect throw, perfect spiral, straight into the back of a girls head. I felt like a bag Kinda sucks because ill probably never know kne that good again
>best friends with coolguy in LV >stole shit together, gym together, gaming and hanging out (with chicks 'n' shit), feelsgoodman.jpg >hanging out with him taught me how to approach women aggressively and successfully >lots of girl drama because I excel and harnessing women but stupidly went to far >yadda yadda yadda >he introduces me to his ex with gigantic tits >we three hangout and she's giving me signals >I visit her alone, she sluts out, awesomeshitbro.jpg >no fucking yet >I keep visiting her, her teenage sex drive pushing past it's limits >knew that one more visit = greatsexytyme.jpg >during visit, I realize I'm 'bout to fuck my best friend's ex-gurl >was supposed to be at best friend's house 1 hour ago >oh fuck, he probably know's I'm here >ditch fuck session to hang out with best bro as the year ended >see him in his room, playing the electric guitar with no amp >very sad sight >ever since then, he's acted differently towards me >present day: we're no longer contacts
>be me >18 >senior year >need a good senior prank >spank it for two weeks 3-4 times a day >save spunk in glasses in my mini-fridge >buy five 48 count chocolate bar variety packs >friends dad is house doctor >borrow syringe >lift back tab and load my spunk in every bar >friends are in on it >sell them for $1 to underclassmen >they didn't even fucking notice >watch a kid bite into a snickers and my spunk dripping from her mouth >mfw
>gym class >toss a bunch of old muffins into the showers during dress time >half way during class we all the males get called into the locker room >"ALL RIGHT WHO FUCKING DID THIS?" >get yelled at for about 20mins >everyone is giggling and nobody knows who did it >that one kid gets blamed
There was this bitch that backed out last second (my dick was hanging out and everything) when I was supposed to lose my virginity. I started a rumor that she had scabies and gonorrhea. I torched her car (her parents gave her one, she had it for 5 months until it burned). I stuffed her locker full of pregnancy tests. I stole her clothes during PE. Amazingly none of it came back to me.
> Be me > 18, senior year highschool > I wasn't a fuck up in highschool, but I was the crazy kid that gave a fuck about no one and nothing. The one that ran into full classes amd drew dicks on the chalk board and casually walked up. > Be last period > Get great fucking idea > Scribble some shit on two pieces of paper > Deliberately run out of class like a tard that doesn't have to ask for anything > Put sign on the two water foutains > One says whites only > Other says black only > Walk back in class like nothing happened > Looking out door > See niggers raging > Keking > Get greater idea > Grab big poster board > Everyone thinks I'm drawing giant dick again, so they don't pay attention > Bell rings > Niggers still raging about water fountains > Walking through halls with my big ass sign > Sign says "keep segregation I. The schools!" > Everyone confused > Very very confused and raging
Mfw a half nigger mutt promoted segregation in the schools
Denied sex 4 times from a slut in my classroom because she didnt want me to be a virgin. Now i moved away from that country of sluts and posers, and live my sad regretful virgin life. Im sexy as fuck tho
>Me and a few friends buy a shit load of condoms and place them all over the schools doorhandles before lunch >Lunch hour, we watch people find them and laugh >One teacher walks by us and sees us laughing, clearly knows we did it >He gives a chuckle and shakes his head >Never got in trouble
>b me >14. 8th grade but but fuck you don't care >asleep in English cuz no one gives fucks. >bent over sleeping on desk. head on top of crossed arms. >watching some movie or some shit so lights were off. >deep sleep >suddenly wake up from sharp loud noise >feel sensation in butt. like something had been near it. >assume kid behind me just kicked my chair >look around. >go back to sleep >realize like 8 years later that I may have farted incredibly loud. >still don't know for sure to this day. >I'm fucking 25.
>>527654574 same anon here. took DOB (google it) the night before science high school graduation exam. still tripping that morning. multiple choice bubbles floating all over page. christmas tree that shit. i fail. retook it during the summer and passed with flying colors
>sophomore year >one of the retard kids always wanted to hang with me and my friends (let's call him Bob) >didn't even know they were allowed to roam, because they always have some teacher or assistant with them >Bob keeps trying to catch our attention until we talk to him >we ask Bob all sorts of questions >his responses are very honest >ask him personal shit >he actually answers it all >ask Bob if he likes girls >says he has a girlfriend named Samantha >"does she go to this school?" >he points at some girl across campus >7/10 blonde, very nice rack, probably a senior >all laugh >"go kiss her" >Bob refuses >"You ever fuck her? Does she touch your dick?" >"No, my dad does. In the water." >wut >all go silent, look at each other >i just burst out laughing >what the fuck >"Do you take showers with your dad, Bob?" >nods >can't believe this shit >ask him if he likes it >he doesn't respond this time >realize that maybe he might tell someone that we were asking him stuff >tell him that it's bad to talk about that stuff >he nods again >hangs out with us almost everyday
>There was a weird kid all throughout elementary school.. that one guy, if you will >Always farted loudly in class >Pissed himself a few times >Heard that he might have shit himself once >Nothing mentally wrong with him I dont think, he was just that weird kid >Fast forward to high school >Find his gym locker in the locker room >He was changed into PE clothing, so his normal clothing was in the locker >Take a piss through the grating >Longest piss of my life
Looking back, I feel awful. It was stupid kids like me that probably made him the way he was to begin with.
>sophomore year >be in graphic design class >be fucking around as per the usual >find some random flashdrive >assume it belongs to one of the 4000000 bandfaggots in the school >naturally decide to fuck with it >copy paste a picture of the word "Autism" literally 1000 times onto flashdrive >zip up other shit and disguise as pic >letsplayagame.txt >leave class >forget >walk in few days later >everything is going normally >teacher is helping some kid near me >walks up to me >"Anon this girl found her flashdrive near your seat the other day" >Orlly >"It had like a thousand pictures of the word Autism and all her stuff was hidden" >Ohhowawful.gif >"And the girl is autistic and she got really upset... She cried" >shit just got so much funnier >entire section of class knows it was me >play it off like I know nothing >she walks away >all the kids in my section trying so hard not to laugh >class ends >find out from friend she told all of her other classes >mfw I never get caught >mfw I was her favorite student that year >mfw I found out the autist in question was one of the bitchy ones that threw rocks at people
>>527655532 i put together an entire routine to horrible electronic musif for my audition. my initial plan was to waste everyone's time and not become the mascot. turned out that the joke was on me and i was to be the mascot no matter what. i always had my ipod on while i was in the suit and only blasted metal. the time that i took mushrooms was particularly intense because i was completely out of if, but i also had all eyes on me. fun times.
>be me >17 senior >retard kid in electric wheelchair come over to me ma-ma-ma-ma-man do you go-go-go-got 5 bucks >um yea why Can I bor-bor-bor-borrow it >what are you going to do for me Anything >drive down those stairs Dud-dud-dude no >did you want five bucks(pull out 5 bucks) ok I'll d-d-d-d-do it >drives down the stairs flips fucking wheelchair >falls down like 15 stairs while strapped in to wheelchair >fucking crying with laughter >walk down stairs >not making any noise >is dead? >fuck it walk away >no fucks were given >already retarded and in wheelchair >death would be benefit >keep 5 bucks >never tell anyone
Kid actually had a collapsed lung and broken femur and got rushed to hospital >ask me for his money when he came back >convinced him I gave it to him before he went down stairs
>Private school for girls >be sophomore >parking spot taken by a senior >crazy as fuck, get mad >think of appropriate response, no need to escalate >Brownies. Brownies with laxatives >Feed to entire senior class (small school) >2 weeks suspension
No idea how she only got that much suspension. That's straight poison. Bitch is crazy
>Freshman Year >Be after school >Have to take a major shit >Go into bathroom >Shit >Bathroom smells of shit >The bathroom smelt like shit for 2 weeks before the janitor fixed it. >the end newfag reporting in.
>Private school for girls >sophomore >parking spot taken by a senior >crazy as fuck, got mad >thinks of appropriate response, no need to escalate >Brownies. Brownies with laxatives >Feed to entire senior class (small school) >2 weeks suspension
No idea how she only got that much suspension. That's straight poison. Bitch be crazy
>>527655696 thats straight up vicious Similar story >About to go out into gym from locker rooms >Funny guy tells me and a couple other guys to stay behind for a bit >He takes out this one guy's binder >Put its on the ground then jumps from the bench onto the rings, completely fucking it up >Laugh maybe the hardest I ever have. just because its such a strange mean thing to do The binder kid was a total plug too
Caught a chicks hair on fire on the bus with hair spray and flame. Set a bathroom trashcan on fire. Too many fights too count, too much blood shed. And probably a lot worst that I didn't think was all that bad
>>527654582 I remember some guys at my school once got a condom, emptied a bunch of mayonnaise packets into it and put it on a door handle while the teacher was in the bathroom. When he came back he had a campus supervisor and a janitor come by and the supervisor kept asking for the person that did it. They got away because they weren't even in that class. It was pretty hilarious though. Janitor didn't wanna touch that shit.
I wouldn't say that this is too fucked up, but it's related to high school. Some background before the story commences, during High School I never really had any problems; this was after I moved from middle school (where the problems were non-stop) to this new school. It was really nice, except in 11th Grade this new manlet started doing silly shit to me like spread rumours. This kid was 5"3 and thought he was "popular" because he talked to girls. I didn't give a shit, but after the rumour conundrum I decided to give him some sweet revenge.
>Midway through Grade 11. >Manlet was being a smart-ass as usual, spreading even more rumours. >I laugh it off, but it's really getting annoying now. >Want to get the little fucker back. >Wanted to psychologically fuck with his mind, slowly. >Spent 3 weeks planning this shit.
The plan: I needed his locker code first, to avoid suspicion and time I needed to do it as fast as possible. I decided to buy a spy pen and go behind him whilst opening his lock. I got his combination. A few days after, every afternoon I would go to his locker and place a Smartie inside. First just one. Then the next day, two. Then three, five, eight, thirteen... Fibbonacci style. Luckily I knew where I could buy lots of Smarties for very cheap. This kid was allergic to dairy products, so this made it even more laughable.
>be in lunch with all my buds >one of them is fashionably gullible >he was browsing the web on the school's wifi >couple of friends and I got him to google terrorist shit >yellow cake uranium, blow up high school, etc etc >friend gets caught and tracked down by campus pd >tried to run >ohshitm8.mov >got tazed and cried >we still call him tazebaby
>senior year >friends and I just got drunk all the time >didn't give a fuck because seniors could get away with anything in my school >"Mustache Day" or something like that >bunch of people grow out/make fake mustaches and wear them >friends and I grow out Hitler staches >walk around the halls marching and doing the Nazi salute never got in trouble because the vice principal loved us no matter how much shit we did
>>527656120 >electric wheelchair Some guy was in one of those at my school and he was a total asshole. He'd run over people's feet on purpose. Mostly girls wearing sandals. He never got in trouble. Every time someone asked him to do a donut he'd actually do it
Best friend and I flung chili on the front of some lunch room vending machine in a manner that looked like explosive diarrhea.
Best friend and I made a Nazi armband and Hitler moustache out of construction paper during a Junior-year Niggermas party with some other guys. The girls just bitched about how not funny or offensive it was to them. We didn't give a fuck.
I managed to shoot a quick load of cum into an above average chick's latte when it was unattended and no one else was around. She surely sucked down my coffee-cooked semen without knowing it.
I got a terrible blowjob from a moderately attractive black girl, who admitted it wasn't good and decided to finish me between her tits while she told me she loves white guys. She asked me to be her boyfriend just after I came. I declined. She still collected and ate my cum despite being upset.
>>527652963 Oh yeah, I got plenty. Me and Cameron did a lot of fucked up shit that year.
>be me, same year >wrestling season >I'm the 180 pound varsity, Cameron is 195 >we have a meet against the local catholic school >shittiest wrestling team in the stare, we blanked them all 4 years >decide to fuck with basketball team instead of warm up >go into locker room, strip Naked and cover selves in green body paint >position selves on top of lockers >entire basketball team walks in >beholding the glory that is our green cock and balls >leap down off lockers, chase basketball team >nude and green. Causes shitstorm o tall lanky kids. >corner one small black kid named Alvin >kid legitimately starts crying >makes a break for it, manages to split us >heads for exit door >we chase him out the door >still nude and green >down the hall way, he hangs a left >so do we >entire girls freshman basketball team waiting for bus to catholic school >stop dead in our tracks >make eye contact with smaller blonde girl >"good luck in your game tonight" >mosey back into room >mfw I still pinned my kid in a leg cradle >mfw I fucked her a month later
>teacher kept complaining that people weren't bringing the bathroom pass back >tells everyone they have to sign out everytime they go to the bathroom from now on >got the bright idea to keep flushing the bathroom pass down the toilet >never sign out when i do it >other kids keep getting blamed for losing the pass >teacher revokes bathroom privileges >2 weeks later, some kid named allen shits his pants in front of the class because teacher wouldn't let him go >mfw
>locker I was assigned never opened >they assigned me a new one >figure out how to pop the old one open >use new locker and store garbage and rotting food in old locker >locker begins to stink horribly >students are complaining >flies have infested the locker >the school finally pops the locker open >rotten juice, maggots and trash falls all over the floor >they go to find out who was assigned that locker >nobody was assigned since I was technically assigned a different locker
>Don't do anything really rebellious in high school >Have a good time but comparatively uneventful >One teacher pisses me off >Utter retard fundamentalist Creationist idiot woman >Reading a book in her class >Descends on me >Mad I'm not paying attention to her drivel >Takes my book >Puts it in her closet >Dog didn't eat my homework >Bitch stole my Lord of the Rings
>>527658291 >Plan was in action. I did however bring a mask and a full costume to conceal my identity from the cameras. >Commence plan. >First day. >Confused the kid. >Second day. >Kid was still confused, suspected something. >His reaction grew for several months. >At one point, there were so many Smarties that they all poured out of his locker and onto the floor, making him scream and run. >Whenever he changed his locker code, I was always watching. >A few weeks later this was all becoming very expensive.
I needed another plan. He lived fairly close to me so I decided to fuck with him whilst he was at home.
OK CERAMICS STORY! >me and friend tried to make several things to get us suspended >we try and make a huge ceramic bong, call it a vase >get away with it, still have this big ass deformed ass bong >its called the friendship nuke >cuz its so fucked up it looks like a nuke >we decided to make a giant dick sculpture >We take it further and decide to make a giant backing plate >so we can zip the ceramic dick into our pants >looks like our dick is out for real(Well for me, cuz we had white people skin paint color, my buddy is Portuguese) >teacher was not even like a human teacher, kind of just there >she tells us we cant put the ding dong in the Kiln >we paint it after it dries never put in kiln haha >next day i hang it out of my pants in my film history class >teacher is so fuckin old that i could wear sunglasses in class and support my head with my hand and fall asleep(film history) >i get suspended for 10 fuckin days >i become a high school legend, people still know me as the kid who made all the bongs, dicks and ceramic knives haha
>drove gf's jeep (with plates removed) all around our schools quad (it was campus style). fucked up lots of landscaping, and her jeep. >had a sizable campfire going on top of the marching band scaffolding and grilled some hot dogs with friends >spent the night on top of the water tower we had >cheated in every class, on every test. still the smartest person I know my age. dont even know why I cheated, it wasn't worth the risk. >I lit a fire in a washing machine I found in the woods, and then left it cause I had to go to a piano lesson. I came back hours later and it was still smoldering, some metal parts of the machine had melted into puddles. almost burned down a forest
>>527658781 anon realized possible and most likely cause of abrupt awakening at the age 22. anon at present day is aged 25. anon has speculated of the true events occurring on this day, 11 years ago. lrn2read. lrn2math.
>english teacher in 7th grade had hearing aids >just after christmas discovered that they made a weird sound when they were about to fall out >spend a few days trying to mimic that sound >get up enough nerve to try it in class >teacher keeps cupping her ears when I do it >friend sitting next to me notices what I'm doing >he starts keking and can't contain it >she sends him to principal but she knew he wasn't the one making the sound >friend never rats me out
>senior year > in an art class with >Split into various tables, you sit wherever the hell you want because its an art class >Table full of preppy Junior girls/Table of bro seniors/table of anime kids/and the largest table held a odd mashup of people >decide to sit at the last because 2 of by good friends sat there >at the table was: a nazi skater (one of my friends that I've known since like elementary school), a chubby irish/preppy kid(the other friend, was stupidly nice and super popular because of it), a party/punk girl (also knew her from elementary but never really clicked, on friendly terms), another skate but quiet kid, and this hot junior portuguese chick >irish kid and i are quite the great pair, make jokes all day, everyone in the class ends up laughing at one thing or another >hot girl at my table begins to flirt heavily with me >while i was not socially retarded i always fumbled with asking girls out >so i put it off, she thought i was playing hard to get or something >we have this artistic prodigy tropical island junior kid who talks to girls exclusively >over the course of the year he bangs a few of our classmates >sets his sights on the girls at my table >punk chick instantly shoots him down because she has this bf in the army >portuguese chick doesn't shoot him down but doesn't go along with his advances >she always prefers myself over him >he sees this and tries to phase me out >tries to shit on the art i do, i don't give a fuck because the class was a cool down after AP Calc/Physics/Chem >when that doesn't work he tries to insult me directly often switching languages >has the growing hatred towards americans in general >is gibbering at me in some indecipherable language one day, by the tone it wasn't pleasant >Tell him to chill out I don't have time to decipher his ooga-booga language >literally fucking loses his shit, believe he would have taken a swing if he thought he could follow through with it continue with next post i guess
>>527657680 >teach wouldn't let kid go to toilet >kid shits himself >is it just me that would walk out of class no matter what to take a shit, if I get threatened with suspension I would call a meeting with parents and principal to get teacher in deep shit? wtf is with this obeying BS
>be in a computer art class >learning photoshop >be ahead because i have slow as fuck teacher that needs to fully detail every single thing your supposed to do >as in "ok, go to file. then go down to copy, now click copy. now go back up to file, now go to paste and click on paste" >start making a horribly fake looking fake id as a side project to curb my boredom >one day someone decided to be an ass and ratted me out to the teacher >get called to the principals office >there in his office is like 3 cops >he pulls out a print of my fake id >they start telling me how serious this sort of behavior is >like we should get the secret service involved serious >trying hard to hold back my laughter >whats your problem anon? >look at how old and tall i am, do you honestly think anyone would mistake me for a 8 foot tall 143 year old man? >principal looks at it and passes it around >everyones face tells they finally REALLY looked at it >well.... >now type in oregon state drivers liscense into google, thats nothing close to what their id looks like >it's horribly obvious i was just bored because i have a teacher that takes 10 minutes how to explain to copy and paste >yeah well this is still a.... >even the cops interupt him stating they've seen enough. while it wasn't right it was exadurated enough to prove i was telling the truth >the principal's face makes it obvious he feels like a total dumb ass bitch >makes me promise to stay out of trouble till graduation or else >say i never make promises i can't keep >ok just get out of here
> Junior high > Get on bus one afternoon > Someone stuck a maxipad on the bus seat > Bus is dead silent > I laugh > Entire bus erupts with laughter > Take seat > Wait as the next kid gets on > Repeat > Bus driver didn't care
Someone also once wrapped like 6 pads around the drinking fountain spout. Hit the button to turn it on but those pads sucked up all the water.
> In computer room with bunch of guys > Teachers let us use computers at lunch time freely > Supposed to be cleaning up viruses and inappropriate software, wind up hiding games ourselves > Guys start farting contest > I try to join in, but can't get one out > Squeeze real hard > *pop pop* > *smooth warmth between buttcheeks* > Shat meself > Sit in shit until lunch ends > All the dudes leave. I have a handful of minutes before teacher arrives for class > Waddle over to garbage can > Roll turd into bin, finish shitting > Have one tissue. > Wedge it in butt-crack, walk carefully to toilets > Room winds up being shut down. Windows can't be opened (sealed for air conditioning).
>Friend came to school high >Me trying to help him get to class >Find out he had alcohol in his backpack and drank it all. >whyamisonice.jpg >taking him to class >"I dont need your help faggot." >i really am gay and he knows it >"Wow okay fine." >walk away >literally 16 steps away >screaming and what the fuck >teacher pushes him out of class >his pants are down and hes in the middle of pissing >he fucking went into a classroom and thought it was the bathroom and pissed all over this girl >fuckinglel.jpg >he got kicked out of school >he asked me what happened >I told him >embarassed and he was on the news and went to juvie for like 6 weeks.
>>527661407 >even the cops interupt him stating they've seen enough. while it wasn't right it was exadurated enough to prove i was telling the truth >it was exadurated enough to prove i was telling the truth >it was exadurated >exadurated
you couldn't even be bothered to use your internet access to correctly type this very simple word
please separate yourself from the gene pool immediately
>>527637442 >be at house party >kid's bragging about precautions with house >locked all nice shit into one room >chained fridge shut >eventually rager >spread rumor that house is random foreclosure >burnt carpet >broken windows >graffiti >holes in walls >never see that kid again
>>527662204 ah ok cool. Ive really only ever had strong ass shrooms, numerous pills, fuck tons of weed and steroids.. nothing except the strong shrooms has really had me tripping balls.
Also give a few $ to a charity and you will feel better if you have guilt.. your better off just moving on with it and having a good life. My only worry about that stuff is not the guilt of doing it once, but the worry that if I let the flood gates open with offing someone once then I wouldn't stop
>freshman year >last class of the day >teacher lets us hang out the last 10 minutes or so of the day >you can be in the hall, just be in that piece of hall >have bottle of super glue >super glue the tumbler and key hole on random lockers >by the end of the year most of the lockers in that hall were glued shut >one time i actually got a new locker neighbor "because he got his locker glued shut" >sophmore year they were still glued shut >moved away before junior year >go back and visit a year after graduation >sneak into the school >the lockers were still sitting there glued shut
>>527662826 This guy is right you know. The human brain runs a moral/ethics bank. You have debt (guilt), make a deposit (donate to charity/good deeds). When you do nice deeds, you excuse other bad deeds. Donate blood? No thanks I'm doing my good deed by driving a Prius.
>>527663306 My friends and I smoked salvia for my 17th birthday. Some wild shit. At one point I saw everything as pixels and thought I was outside during a sunny day. We were smoking that shit at around 8 PM. Very strong but doesn't last that long.
>Principal expelled a friend of mine for missing days. >She was missing days because she was sick from catching HIV. >Poured several hundred pounds of quickdry cement into the floorboard of the his midlife crisis convertible. Fuck that guy.
>Lady friend pantsed me in the hallway. >Kinda humiliating. >Pantsed her back in the middle of the cafeteria, knowing she wasn't wearing panties. I think I won that one.
>Friend was out of town. >Always callously bragged about how good his girl was at oral. >Curiousity killed the cat, but not me. >Got her to blow me in his house. >Ended up being a two-day fuckfest. I think they're still together to this day, actually...
>Jacked clay from art class >make a block, shoved some wires into it and the face of a watch >looks like a C4 bomb from James Bond or some shit >(wearing plastic disposable gloves of course) >put it under a desk>called in a bomb threat from the pay phone at the school. I really didn't want to deal with Algebra II that day.
>Sneak into art class' glazing room >break all the sculptures, pots and shit One of them belonged to a "nemesis" of mine, and he'd worked on it for a long time. Didn't know which, so...
>Wearing gloves >stole bleach and ammonia from the janitor's closet >poured a bunch of bleach into a water fountain >poured ammonia into it after a few seconds. Toxic gaaaaas! >left them there for the investegators to find >just the janitor's fingerprints all over them. >he didn't have an alibi >and all evidence pointed to him. He got arrested. Some kids got sick, too.
>bought smoke grenades from military surplus store a few towns over >wait until cheerleaders are all in locker room >wipe smoke grenades of prints >throw them into the locker room >bar the door so they can't leave Head cheerleader was a total bitch, so yeah.
>>527648894 >not hacking the admin's account and giving yourself privileges and never telling fucking anybody that you read all their essays for five years straight while planting funny pictures in random students documents
Actually the admin left himself logged on my computer in Microsoft Office one day after they updated some new testing software, but seriously the rest is true. Wish I could go back in time and save all those glorious essays from America's youth before I graduated.
> Some kind of excursion going on > Convince one of the teachers to let me stay behind in the school (I didn't have a permission slip or not, and they hadn't planned on student's remaining behind.) > They give me access to a computer in the art rooms. > Spend the day downloading arseloads of porn, masturbating in classrooms, cracking open offices and reading through stuff. > Manage to get into some supply cupboards and swipe some supplies (even netted an airbrush.) > Made sure to keep it to a minimum, across the campus > School still had a functioning admin department, so I had to dodge office ladies, principal, and vice principal > Still whacked off, fully nude, in the music rooms. > Six hours, man. Six hours.
>>527637442 >thought my humanities teacher was a hippie idiot >made fun of her views constantly >she's beta as fuck and takes it >gives me all a's >writes a note on last paper of class, "sometimes you intimidate people" >feels bad man
/b/ is starting to look like its nothing more than a bunch of teenage faggots.
If you can't use proper grammar, then don't come on this website. It's not facebook, nor it is Nickelodeon.com. It is /b/.
I can understand the grammar jokes, like "Trolling is an art." That stuff is funny, I don't have a problem with it.
However, if I see one more faggot start a sentence without a capital letter then I will lose faith in this board.
If I see another person switch "Their, They're, and There" or "Your and You're." I might seriously consider not coming back to it anymore.
If you post with bad grammar in this thread, you're not trolling me. You're just proving yourself do be a dumbass. regardless of anonymity, you're still out there somewhere. Whoever you are, you're a dumbass.
>be 16 >at a party celebrating my friends older brother return from the navy >walk in kind of late >everyone is already drunk as fuck and there's gallons of liquor on the table >take like 13 shots of hennessey >what the fuck is drunk >10/10 upper class asian girl on auxiliary team sitting across table from me still sober >make out with her and end up fucking >"don't put it in my butt" >"put it in your butt?" >she screams into pillow and I end up cumming in her ass >I used to see her at school every day during passing period and she would just smile
>>527637442 At parties in high school, if I was planning on spending the night at the house the party was at, I would wait until girls passed out/went to sleep and then would play with their tits and rub their pussies and stuff through their pants. On one occasion I actually fingered a girl while she was passed out on the couch with me and she woke up and looked me square in the eyes while my finger was still inside of her but she didn't say anything and then just went right back to sleep. The next week at school she just seemed completely normal if not even more friendly to me.
>me and friend last year >my moms out of town >party hard >want these 2 bitche to come party >call bitch1s dad pretending to be bitch 2s dad >"yeah bitch one and bitch two will be home all night" >he bought it >party hard >one in the morning >fucked up >missed call from unknown number and voicemail >police department >we know you were pretending to be bitch 2s dad >fuck that party's over >bitch 1 and 2 won't go home >go home with my other girl at party >homie and homies homie stay with me >paranoid as fuck >Hardly sleep >homes up all night with a superman snuggie watching Scooby doo (was 18) > wake up to go meet bitch 1 & 2 >my homies home got his shotgun stolen from his truck >could give a fuck still getting called by cops >meet bitches >still won't go home >WTF >more bullshit >bitch 2 goes home >bitch 1 refuses >get a call thinking its my mom >bitch 1s dad >"you last had contact with bitch1 a gun was stolen on your street and my daughters car was found by your house you're being charged with kidnapping" >me on diversion at the time >beg bitch one to go home >"no I'd rather go to jail" >take taxi to the fucking jail >jail wont take her >secretly call her dad >come fucking get her >everything is ok >my mom still doesn't know about that
>>527666148 >do be a dumbass Not the other guy but this is why arguing over small spelling and typing errors is stupid, everyone is going to make one at some point. Yes some people are terribly unintelligible but most people are just drunk/stoned and typing a two sentence reply to a stupid topic at 3 am and are going to make some mistakes.
>Be 14 >Go to very large school in England >Friend of mine steals jar of magnesium bits from science lab store room >Fill the locks on all the doors of one of the large lunch halls >Be about 300 people in there all eating lunch >Set fire to magnesium and seal all the locks >Watch with hysterics as 300 people can't get out for like an hour until a maintenance guy drills through the door. >Friend gets suspended for a week and doesn't grass anyone else up
>age 11 >see a younger kid mess around with another kid on the way to lunch >he was bullying him or at least i thought he was >walk over >pick the kid up >slam him on the ground and hold him there >shout at him to leave him the fuck alone >he's trying to break loose >pick him up again and bodyslam him on the snow >keep cussing at him for awhile because i liked it as he looks at me frightened >let him go and proceed to lunch >i had pancakes that day
>Year 9 or 10 (Ausfag) >Girl who keeps hanging out with our group (Emo/goth kids) Thank fuck we grew out of that >No one likes her >One day walking to the hangout spot at school >Find a donut on the ground >IDEA >Take it to the toilets, rub it on the seat, rub it on our balls, gooch etc. >Take it back to hangout >Oh man these donuts are pretty filling, anyone want the last one? >She says yes, eats it, everyone containing their laughter >Tell her >Bitchfit, screaming crying etc, >Teachers find out a couple of us get detention but most of us get off, told them we were just joking >All blows over >2 months later science, bro is being harassed by this bitch >Calmly says "donut" >She leaves screaming and crying >He gets suspended for a week for Sexual Harassment >MFW
I was in detention with my Algebra 1 teacher alone once. She was talking and her phone started ringing, and she wanted to let the machine get it. Turns out it's her boyfriend. Dumping her. For her best friend. On their fucking anniversary. ...so I made a move and managed to fuck my Algebra 1 teacher. (Bearing in mind, this was actually my third year. I kept failing Algebra 1 due to me just not caring for it.) It was okay I guess, but her runny makeup was kind of a turn off. And it made things weird the rest of the school year. Especially since I MAY have emotionally manipulated her into doing it while she was in a vulnerable state.
>>527637442 Every 2 or 3 weeks in my senior year I'd take out a different shitty, thick-as-fuck obscure book from our school library and cum in the middle of it. I pressed the pages together afterwards (enough to make the cum ooze out the tops of the pages) and wipe off the tops of the pages. I was never caught, and the cum-covered books are still probably in the library to this day
>parents divorce so skint as fuck at school >start selling porn floppy disks to other kids for money >i get pics of school internet in the early days of web >get caught by leaving disk in computer >mam has to sit in headmasters office while i get wrong and suspended for a week, mam joins in and says it is disgusting etc >on way to car mam asks me how much i made so i tell her and she says well done > return to school after a week and in assembly the headmaster says they have banned the internet because of misuse by certainindividuals - whole room turns and looks at me- i feel like shit > hotest girls call me a pervert in corridors of school for a while - i am not liked because of ban > i continued to sell porn
>>527668896 I'll give you the abridged version. >Went to his house every night (around 7pm.) >Was undetectable because his room is on the other side of his house, the parents are usually out. >Planted Smarties all across the front gate. >Started mailing boxes of Smarties (I had a bit of money back then.) >He moved school.
>>527668687 I might be a sociopath, if that's what you mean. I know for a fact that I'm anti-social. (Not the antisocial that everyone claims to be, that's asocial.)
Definitely not a psychopath, though. I knew one of those, growing up. They're the people that do shit like go to skin a cat, then throw it's fresh pelt at a pedestrian's face because Satan told them to, from the back of a cereal box.
>Be me >17 years old, senior year >Was in college prep class >teacher is a total fucking cunt, but lets us do what we want >Go outside and walk around the main building with a couple guys in class for a bit >See a couple of stray dogs >Idea >We take the dogs and sneak into through the fire exit door linked directly to her class >We let the dogs in and run around in the class >one of them shit underneath her desk, another one pisses on her computer at her table >she comes back, sits down and digs her shoes right into the shit and her comp got fried >mfw
>>527668229 >age 10 or 11 >there was a dispute between my classmates >can't remember distinctively what happened but it involved someone being an ass to a girl >the girl was indian and had a terrible stench of armpit surrounding her >so she wasn't desirable in any way but i guess i can lend a hand >say something in her defense >everyone thinks i said something bad about her >now the shitstorm is on me >but i didn't correct them because i liked how butthurt they were >i proceed to tell her what a little shitskin whore she is and how she has to start using deodorant because she smells like the pisser at a ball game >everyone is extremely butthurt at me >the girl is crying >mutter to myself "that's what you get when you don't appreciate my help you dumb nigger" >i loved to be the villain of the day though
>last year >At my school they put letters and messages for clubs in the registers so teachers could tell all the students >one day I printed out posters for a "Hitler youth club" >meet after school for like minded Aryans >put one in every single register after school >they all got read out the next morning >the only Jewish kid left school shortly after >wentbetterthanexpected.jpg
>be 15 >friends be 15 >hang out in library cause douche bags outside >rule library >librarians are cunts >find space which they don't know about, quite cavernous >left over foods collected there over several weeks/months >library closes cause of smell >closed for a week, still can't find source. >eventually its found and blocked back up >damn.PNG >war declared >start buying packs of ham and other slim foods >open 100's of books and interlace said books with said meats >familiar aura begins to start in library again >spend the next weeks enjoying seeing the librarians sit uncomfortably in stench as they sort through the whole library's range of books to find rotting meats
funniest couple of weeks, but so many more to tell
>be out of state visiting cousins >Cousin takes me to party >This girl in a relationship lets me play with her boobs >She won't let me hit it so I get mad and start realizing how wack the party actually is >Getting drunker and drunker >Someone's dog is there >Go to bathroom a few times, you have to pass through a bedroom to get to it, steal like 10 xbox games and a pocket knife, friend got a laptop >Apparently I stepped in dog shit when stealing games and tracked it all over the house (no one knew it was me lel) >Cousin mad that sloppy drunk fat girl (Throwing the party) was practically raping him >Start throwing beer all over the walls and ceilings >Go through fridge, eat burgers, take eggs and just chuck them into the fridge as hard as i can >Punch hole in the wall on the way out Was pretty fun, would do again
>Be Junior >Go to friend's party >Everyone drinking and having fun >Meet this sophomore girl named Becky >Becky gets tipsy on wine coolers >Explains to me how she's had a crush on me for over a year >Tells me she made friends with the people at the party just to get closer to me >So many red flags >So, so, so many red flags that I have a fatal attraction on my hands >What do I do? >Take her virginity, obviously
>She comes up to me before school starts >All dressed up, trying her best to look cute >Acts like we're dating >I pretty much blow her off >Days pass and she's extremely clingy >She tells people we slept together >I deny it up and down >IWillNotBeIgnored.jpg >Go to the guidance councilor >Act all stressed out that this crazy girl is telling people I slept with her >Tell the GC I'm still a virgin >She gets called down and told to stop with the fantasies >She goes ballistic, goes to my house, and sets the lawn on fire >Call police on her, press charges, she is suspended from school >Literally ruined this girls life because I denied taking her virginity
The only people that know the truth are myself, Becky, and you, /b/
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