ITT: I tell you interesting stories I’ve been through/seen while being a chemistry teacher at a boarding school for 4 years.
> I’m 28
>Dad was the previous headmaster, which explains why I could work here at 24
>Teachers have their own quarters which are nowhere close the student dorms
>Explaining how to do a lab report to sophomores
>This one girl cuts me off mid-sentence and asks to go to the bathroom
>I glare at her and continue explaining
>She raises her hand eagerly
>Decline, break was in like 10 minutes anyways
>After about 5 minutes her face is pale as shit
>Looks ridiculously uncomfortable
>She scurries out, but one thing everyone notice was the stream of red blood soaking the back of her skirt and literally streaming all the way down her leg
> even her white sock was fucking red
>literally left a trail behind her and a puddle in her seat
>the boys expressions were priceless
>I’m passing by the boy’s dorms ‘cause it was my turn on duty
>Smell the familiar smell of weed
>Knock on the door and wait for him to answer
>I hear a panicked gasp before he opens the door 2 minutes later
>room is full of smoke
>if you’re gonna smoke in a fucking boarding school try to be smart about it
>His eyes were red and droopy as fuck
>He just stood there smiling at me
>I was reprimanding him and he just stayed in that same fucking position
>When I asked if he was listening he nodded and awkwardly shuffled towards me
>This kid was chubby as fuck and about 5’2
>He gives me one last smile before he hugs me
>doesn’t let go till about 4 minutes pass
>I lost my shit laughing
>Did not report him
Now moving on to stories in the lab,
>We decided to give the students the freedom to decide their own experiments
>It’s much easier to just grade them on the quality of the lab report
>One kid missed the lesson where said experiments were made
>It’s okay, just do it in your free lesson
>Usually have to be directly supervising students during time in lab
>But he was only one student and my office was right across
>After several minutes he walks in my office
>”It kinda hurts to breathe”
>what chemicals did you use?
>Ammonia and bleach
>Panic mode activated
>17 year old is coughing like crazy
>close office door with him inside
>open windows to ventilate
>wasn’t strong enough to cause any long term damage to the kid
>mfw almost lost my job for being an irresponsible fuck
>Supervising more experiments
>Helping one of the students measure the volume of a liquid
>A shriek is heard from the other side of the room
>Run over to the girl that’s screaming hysterically
>”THE CHEMICAL, IT’S ON MY HAAANDS”
>mfw she wasn’t wearing the fucking gloves and she had spilt the experiment everywhere
>Sarah, it’s carbonated water.
Why would anyone think mixing bleach and ammonia is a good idea
>Somehow managed to become friends with a senior
>9/10 and very intelligent
>During her last year in school she went through a lot of shit and I was more or less her counselor
>oneday I was watching TV in my room and someone knocks on the door
>expect it to be my good friend the English teacher
>open the door and find anonette in tears
>mfw shirtless and in boxers
>mfw she comes in before I have a chance to say no
>I’ll have you know a student is strictly forbidden to be anywhere near here
>Let alone one of the opposite sex
>let alone one of them being half naked
>end up cheering her up, bf had dumped her
>open the door to let her out
>mfw physics teacher sees a female student leave my room whilst I’m partially naked
>had to explain the situation to her later, I think she was never really convinced
for the same reason people buy diammonium sulfate pentahydrate algaecide amd think it's ok to ignore labels and mix 4lbs of that with water and 4lbs of 73% calcium hypochlorite
you can tell who the idiots are because they fucking die
>Another anonette is a straight A student when it comes to arts
>7/10, great legs
> About 3 years ago she was forced to take a science
>It’s obviously just not her thing
>Got Bs and Cs
>This may seem okay to you but these grades were really lowering her average
>Anyone could tell it was really frustrating her
>Her father is a big fucking deal
>It’s a boarding school so everyone’s dad is a big deal but she was a big deal even in everyone else’s standards
>Requests I privately tutor his daughter
>At first the school said no but after the sum he offered they agreed
>At the library, giving her a few chemical equations to balance out
>She gets everything wrong even after 1 hour of explaining
>Literally looks close to tears
>Starts asking me if there’s any other way to earn the grade
>Only understood what she meant when she rubbed my knee from underneath the table
>”I’ll do anything”
>She was too much of a fucking idiot to realize porn reality does not apply to ours
>Simply removed her hand from my knee
>Leaned in closer and whispered “Study harder”
>mfw she got really embarrassed and walked away
>didn't say a single word to me till she graduated
>she got a final grade of C
>mfw kinda regret it
1) Can't sneak a girl into my room, all the teachers live right next to me.
2) I can give grades that weren't earned. Sure a supervisor revises everything, but I could easily claim they did extra credit work. Not that I've ever done that.
it explodes, usually. If it doesn't explode, it heats up rapidly and produces a massive amount of mustard gas. either way... it isn't a thing to do, heh
basically you're introducing a powerful oxidizer to a compound that has an assload of weak hydrogen bonds. The resulting paroxysm of redox reactions releases so much energy it's analogous to a bomb, plus poisonous gas either way.
there are some really stupid people that own pools
>The school is veryyy diverse. Only 15% of the student body is actually from the country.
>Two Israeli twins were walking behind me
>Jewin’ around and I was only half-heartedly hearing their bullshit
>They’re talking in Hebrew
> “I’d rape him”
>tfw I turn around and tell them I understand Hebrew
>tfw I act like a butthurt men’s right activist and say that was inappropriate and I feel violated
>both looked mortified
>1 week of detention lel
do you get some sort of sexual thrill out of ruining chances to have sex with these students?
dont get me wrong i mean if you know you can't and you would probably be really screwed if you did and this is your response to that i get it i would to. Except i probably wouldn't have the patience, i probably would have sex and get fired.
also how much you make i imagine a lot and even more since you started so early by the time your in your mid 30s you'll be making so much
Got any more stories?
Consider me entertained
>On duty at about 9 pm in boys dorms
>One kid comes rushing at me
>Screams how there's fight that broke out and both are seriously bleeding
>Rush to the said dorm room
>I'm allowed to walk in without walking during emergencies
>mfw I walked in on a senior fucking his junior girlfirend doggy style
>realize the kid tricked me into catching these two
>We all just kind of start at each other for about 10 seconds
>Only sound heard is my hard breathing from the running
>Guy awkwardly removes his dick from inside her
>Girl scatters into the sheets
>I guess the way I was glaring at the fucking idiot made him squeak "sorry"
Walking out would have made even more of a scene.
And I have no idea where you're educated but this is a boarding school, therefore it's much stricter than your average school.
Will get to that story right now.
Well where's the fucking sense in that, if you have to pee/bleed/shit real bad and can't hold it anymore you either do it in the classroom or toilet. And you're supposed to do it on the toilet so...
Let me clarify, I can guarantee you the blood had already streamed before I said no to her going to the bathroom.
Her standing up and leaving without permission would have made her embarrassment even worse. She's a fucking idiot for not just waiting till everyone left after class.
I went to a highschool where the teachers could not refuse to let girls go to the toilet whenever for such a reason. The same story happened to a girl in my class when I was in first year.
Before you pull the shit school card, Sir Walter Scott and Alexander Graham Bell went to my school and it's one of the oldest still going schools on the planet
I'll contribute as well I guess:
> opening a prep school
> board or directors are funding it, but i make the decisions
#1 - The Interviews
> i was interviewing all potential faculty and staff
> interviewing the men went pretty much how you would expect
> good answers and good credentials
> interviewing the women...holy shit
> some excepts
> you understand that this is a coed school
> you will be ok teaching without your niqab
yes...my class will be all girls
> im sorry?
i won't teach men
> ok...thank you for your time
> you say here you have experience in politics?
yeah, i was the president of my high school debate team
> .....you mean university?
> "you are aware of our uniform?"
what gives you the right to dictate what i wear
> "thank you for your time today" (i had a long day...wasn't going to deal with it
WOMEN ARE KEPT DOWN BECAUSE OF MEN. YOU ARE A CHAUVINIST. I HAVE HAD TO DEAL WITH...blahblahblah
> i thought i would just let her blow it off, but she kept going for 10 minutes, before i called security
> she bit our fucking security guard as he was escorting her out
> it says here you have a degree from cambridge?
> can you explain?
i went to cambridge, but i didn't graduate
> why would you put it on your CV?
because i went to cambridge
> and?...ok well thats fine, how long did you attend
> ...how long did you live in the uk
> why do you have a british accent?
*she gets flustered and walks out*
>Last year one of the few students I like was about to graduate
>She was in my office and I was helping her write her graduation speech
>She's a 7 and had a really cool personality for someone her age
>Dw she was 17 turning 18 in a few days
>We were talking about how alike we were
>She jokingly said we'd make a great couple
>I also jokingly replied that she should call me when she graduates
Fast forward about 1 month
>Prom, was boring and all I did was drink punch and act happy for them
>They leave to post-prom (the unsupervised version of prom with alcohol)
>About two hours later while I'm back in my room she calls and says "I just graduated".
>Sounded drunk as fuck and asked if any of her friends were sober enough to drive her home
>Leave campus and pick her up (was a pain in the ass but it had to be done)
>by the time we reached her house (many students actually have family in the country but just choose to stay in campus due to how far away it is) she was more or less sobered up
>"The house empty"
>one thing led to another and the next morning I was in bed with her
>told her whatever the hell we just did is just a one time thing
>now studies abroad in paris
Meh, such rules don't apply here. They just go without saying.
As for me, I would have let her go if she had actually raised her fucking hand instead of interrupting. Also, only 10 minutes were left for the lesson.
continue! i enjoy reading those stories.
Like the other anon said, at my school most people ask, and if the teacher says no they go anyway.
Why the fuck should i have to be told when and when not to piss, im not a fucking dog.
this thred is nice.
mjore stories pls
How about I shit on your money, huh? Would you be sorry for being paid? Fucking fascists not letting me go to the bathroom! I'll never forgive you for what you've done.
>3 AM and I'm sound asleep
>I hear fucking shrieking from the girl's dorm direction
>It sounded like someone was dying
>The first scenario that came to mind was a fucking rapist had broken in or some shit
>Or a suicide fucking bomber
>Ran with the speed of a thousand horses towards the building
>Source of sound is the 4rth floor
>Don't even bother waiting for elevator
>I tripped twice from the marble floor since I was wearing socks
>Knee hurt like a bitch but I still fucking ran
>Practically crash into the room everyone seemed to be crowding in
>It was a kitten
>A girl had smuggled a fucking cat into the room
>The shrieking was a means of expressing their adoration towards the kitten
>I had never felt the need to hit a girl before that moment
>The only plus side to that whole fucking experience was seeing a few girls barely dressed but I do occasionally patrol there so it wasn't even new
dont bother, its the drizzling shits, ive been through it frame by frame and there is literally zero upskirt shots or anything worth wanking over.
and if you think there is a movie worth watching underneath it all, nope.
#2 - The Uniforms
> Hold a staff meeting
> I have decided on the uniforms, but i might as well take input (pretty much OPs pic)
> Did not expect the extreme shitstorm from the female staff
> Raging hard about the skirts
> Fuck that...im in this for the damn skirts
> one of the teachers decides to call the board of directors
> initiate video conference
> wonder who she ended up calling...she is too new to actually know who they all are
> oh fuck me
> see what you have to understand is
> when you are gathering money for a project, sometimes you ignore who the investors are
> the craziest guy i have ever met is on the other end of the video chat
> drug cartel type
> he is just on the board for the sake of the investment
> professor starts complaining to him
> goes for about 2 minutes
> he is just getting angrier and angrier
> finally he just explodes
"what the fuck is the grape bitch talking about?!"
(she was wearing a purple sweater with purple pants)
> she is shocked
> my muscles are being shredded, trying to avoid laughing
> my whole body is going full retard
> some of the male staff give in and start losing their shit
> decided to adjourn the meeting and apologized for bothering him with this
> we kept the uniforms as they were
>One of the smartest kids in my class is missing for the lesson
>It wasn't like him to skip classes so I asked around where he was
>Head over to his dorm room
>he looked like absolute shit
>"what happened to your eyes?"
>his friends replaced his eye contact solution with freshly squeezed lemon juice with salt
>he fell for it
>Before you pull the shit school card, Sir Walter Scott and Alexander Graham Bell went to my school and it's one of the oldest still going schools on the planet
doesn't mean the rules aren't shit. not letting a student go to the bathroom in an emergency is illegal and unethical, doesn't matter how many smart dudes went to your school.
also, you're a dumb cunt.
I won't deny there might be an image out there that says "study harder" but is it really that unlikely that it came to mind when she asked what could help her get better grades?
As the students are underage the teachers are technically their gaurdians while they're in school which means they can in fact tell them what to do, and OP did state is was a boarding school which means it's privatized and they don't have to follow the same rules because the parents sign a contract.
Well, I did apologize to the girl a few days after the incident. You should keep in mind that she had bled through her skirt before she had even asked to go to the bathroom. The embarrassment of the leak was inevitable.
i searched for it on youtube but there are only fake uploads like part one and then they want you to go to some website (in description) but there's no upload of the full movie or all parts.
>its some moon faced model cunt
we are not talking about the same person here
found an apperent full upload of the second movie with subtitles
>inb4 the bitch I'm looking for is nowhere in the whole movie
also when i reverse searched it i got more results for the first movie
whatever not gonnna waste my time with it
Fellow pool pro detected. I got quite a kick out of it when one of my customers was filling up her chlorinator, grabbed too many trichlor tabs, and then threw the excess in the first bucket she saw that was open (cal hypo). Dumb bitch.
Another guy bought cal hypo tabs because his cyanuric acid kept building up quickly. After I repeatedly told him he needed to buy a new chlorinator and he assured me he was going to order one off the internet and float them in the meantime, later found out he blew off his hand.
fucking hell, nice one! Made me laugh so fucking hard!
>Heading to class
>An asian student walking ahead of me is adjusting her violin into the carrier
>She was obviously just as late as I was
>She completely goes infomercial and drops the violin whilst hanging onto the fucking carrier
>Violin practically shatters on the concrete
>Witness her have an emotional breakdown as she drop her books too
>Attempt to help her pick them up
>"FUCK YOU. FUCK THIS SCHOOL. FUCK MY LIFE. FUCKING LEAVING ME ALONE."
>she was full on sobbing so it wasn't like I was going to ask her to watch her mouth
>Continued picking her books up
>"STOP IT FUCKING STOOOOOP"
>I swear it felt like this shit was in slow motion
>She picked up a fucking 800 pages math textbook and through it directly on my face
>Edge of the book met my forehead
>Saw stars and when the blurriness subsided and noticed I was bleeding
>Asian bitch didn't notice, still crying while embracing her broken violin
>most bizarre experience of my life
that and professionals
if you apply at a multinational or multimillion dollar corporation, government, or academic institute, and they're looking for to fill a real position of actual importance, then they ask for a CV.
If a job is asking for a resume, then they're looking for sb that is docile enough to be controlled and smart enough to push a button. E.g. hamburger flippers, assembly line workers, bakers, etc.
Employers ask for CVs when the position matters and actually require educated, experienced people. A job that asks for your resume is a job for plebeians, and will be replaced by a robot given the opportunity.
>It's the first day of the "holy month of ramadan"
>have a few muslims in school
>Basically they skip all meals and have their own private meal when the sun sets
>One day I'm chilling my office when an Iraqi student of mine barges in, obviously on the verge of tears
>I look at the time and ask why she isn't eating
>She tells me to go to the cafeteria and see for myself
>Head there out of curiosity.
>Guess what the main meal was?
>I lost it in front of all the pissed off muslims
>The chef was new and didn't seem to grasp what islam was
It's more about experience than age. The girl had yet to go to college/university. She was more or less still a kid. Besides, she was moving for university anyways.
Stories a bit more sexual to come, just keep the thread alive as I run a quick errand.
#3 - Admissions
> new students are lining up like crazy
> i have the standards set damn high
> every parent thinks they can buy their way in
> "sorry, admissions are scholarship based, with special cases of significant talent in the arts"
> start scheduling interviews, with students requesting admission based on talent
holy fucking shit...parents these days
> parents bring in their son
> oh lord...
>...we had over 600 applicants, i expected it
> he is "Special"
> he is going to be singing today
> can't do this
> ask to talk to his parents alone
> they insist he sings
> kid starts singing justin beiber
pretty much sounds like this
> say "that is ok", to hint that he can stop
> keeps singing
> "you can stop now"
> still singing
> look at his parents
> mom grabs his hand
> kid starts singing louder
> this shit is getting annoying
> "please quiet him down"
> mom is now holding both of his arms
> he is screaming the lyrics to baby in her face
> look at the dad, "maybe we can do this another day"
> he nods and starts guiding them out
> kid is still screaming "baby" down the hall
> suddenly silence
> kids fucking blasts down the hall at usain bolt speeds in the opposite direction
> damn kid is a ninja
> ended up having to send our entire staff to go find him
> we found him chilling behind the cafeteria a couple hours later
> he had eaten three whole fucking boxes of popsicles by the time found him
> parents apologize and start leading him away
> as he is leaving the kid just start spewing popsicle juice everywhere
it's true. im 23 and my girlfriend is 20 and she still acts like a child, even a toddler at times. Pisses me right thr fuck off. On the other hand I also know a 15 year old girl who is more mature than my girlfriend, who I can only assume is just stunted as far as maturity goes
>We all just kind of start at each other for about 10 seconds
>We all just kind of start at each other
>We all just kind of start
HAHAHAH that's an elementary school error. Its not even a typo.
Wait, how did you get this dope job at 22 with no experience as an educator?
Guys, the LEAST you could do if you're going to lie about this shit, about being important in a top class education institution, is USE THE RIGHT FUCKING WORDS.
I am 22, and I can do this shit, and I'm a middle manager at a grocery chain, so if you're supposedly the crème de la crème of the education world, then, oh my, it's no wonder the world is going to shit.
Another thrilling story named "Ahmad, the Saudi Arabian"
>New kid named Ahmad from Saudi Arabia
>Looks like a ball
>Most entertaining Arabic accent I've ever heard
>100% sure he did not pass the admissions exam
>Parents more or less bought his acceptance
>Ahmad decides that chemistry is the class for him
>Ahmad waddles into class late
>Have him introduced
>Some kid jokingly asks what his hobbies are
>Ahmad answers "Maybe yes, maybe no"
>He bursts out laughing
>We're all very confused
>He supposedly passed the english proficiency test so I shrug it off
>Ask Ahmad if he can balance the equation on the boared
>I'd like to clarify I don't like putting students on the spot if I know they'll only embarrass themselves
>It was an easy equation, and well, this was advanced chemistry
>Waddles towards the board
>He scans the board with his eyes
>Smiles then winks at me
>Adds a check beside the current equation
>We were all really confused once again
>Ahmad's the type of guy that makes you question your existence.
More of Ahmad to come.
>A week later the usually meeting takes place
>The dorms supervisor seems to be worried about Ahmad
>He says he's been giving out 100 dollar bills to everyone on his floor
>When asked why he was doing that, he replied "Makin' it rain"
>Later that day Ahmad shows up to class
>Won't lie, I assumed he'd drop it by now
>Ahmad walks in like a fucking superstar
>Half the desks he passes by are pushed out of the way
>I ask how he's doing today
>"It's make nice one."
>Continue with the lesson
>Ahmad isn't paying attention
>"Ahmad are you following with us?"
>"ehehe no, u are followin wit me"
Wtf is chauvinistic about him
That's the only chauvinism I've found
He's actually been the bigger person in these stories for not taking advantage of the girls even though he's had opportunities to do it
>Ahmad walks in about 30 minutes late to my classroom
>Nothing pisses me off more than assholes being late for no apparent reason
>"Ahmad, why are you late?"
>He smiles and shakes my hand "No"
>"What do you mean?"
>He laughs and says "yes"
>"Ahmad, go get a late slip".
>He chuckles and says "Yes, yes"
>He sits down
>I literally have no idea how to react
>Not sure if to be pissed or to laugh
>One of the student says he's messing with me
>Ahmad's face gets red and stands up, facing the polite british kid
>"NOT MESS WITH ME? K? NOT MAKE MESSIN' WIT ME"
>"Ahmad please sit down"
>"HE MAKE MESSIN WIT ME!"
>I AM LIKE THE ZA POWER
>YOU KNOW WHAT BOWER MEAN?
>I actually had to dismiss the class.
somebody screencap this shit, these stories are golden and ahmad is a fucking pro
I still work at the school, yes. And no, about 45% of the students are girls.
For some reason, most of my students are girls. I also have a lot of stories involving the male students, just not as entertaining as the girls.
If the fate of my eyes is to perish whilst staring into the eyes of Ahmad
To burn their last upon the caramel skin of a Saudi Arabian stallion
Then my eyes will burn out happily as the sun does each night over Ahmad's middle-eastern homeland
How much are you paid?
How much does it suck?
How many sections/students?
How much grading?
How much bullshit do you need to do besides teach classes?
What was the hiring process like?
Teachers at private schools usually need to be educated at top universities and can earn two to five times the national average at leadership levels even in the state system. It's hardly shit tier.
#4 - Opening Festival
> today was the day
> i had to give a speech to welcome the students
> i handed my presentation to one of the office managers
> told him to press play when i got to the podium
> it was a proper video, because fuck boring ppts
> i get to the podium and the background music starts playing
> speech is going perfectly
> talking about goals, cracking jokes, etc.
> it wasn't a long speech
> it was only about ten minutes long
> about 5 minutes in the kids start laughing a bit too hard
> i glance behind me...god fucking damn it people
> apparently the office manager got bored and started browsing for random shit on amazon
> decide to dumbledore our of this situation
"i guess that is a sign I have bored you all enough today, lets all walk to the dining hall"
> we are walking across the grounds together
> massive ass kissing from the students
> see one of my female professors running to a utility shed across the grounds
> talking to students but keeping one eye on where she is going
> some of the other students are starting to notice as well
> when she finally gets to the shed we have all stopped to watch
> suddenly some kids makes a mad dash out of the shed
> he runs into the buildings and disappears
> the teacher is looking into the shed and hops back suddenly
> this girl starts hobbling out ass naked with a broken leg...she had a cast all the way up to her upper thigh
> god i wish i were closer so i could see her face
> imagining the whole thing had me laughing like a damn baboon in front of my student
how did he fuck her?
did he just leave her on her ass?
what did he say when he left her?
sorry, i have to abandon thread guys...i have a lot more stories though. the school has been open for about 2 years now
i might post more later if anyone is interested
>We literally have a staff meeting over Ahmad's behavior
>I defend him with every fiber of my being
>Teachers rant about ahmad
>"Ahmad called jesus a son of a pig. He bought a girl in my classroom with a cross necklace a golden necklace with "Allah" written on it"
>"Ahmad tried to bribe the cafeteria chef into not serving bacon in the morning"
>The highlight of my day began when ahmad strutted into class
>"Ahmad did you do the homework?"
>"No no, u make work, I make learn!"
>Keep in mind the class consists of about 12 people, so no, I'm not only bugging ahmad.
>One of the student asked a question
>ahmad began laughing
>"hehe eh, he not have like dis one" and then he pointed to his brain
>So I told ahmad to answer the question
>"ehehe" he just smiled at me and fucking winked again
>"What is the answer to the question?"
>he waddled up to the bored again
>crossed out the question
>"like dis one"
it pays very well, I'm teaching my hobby so it's not really working for me. The pay is very well. The hiring process was non-existant since they asked me to teach the subject. Up to this day I'm having a great time doing it, while I keep a great standard of living besides it. I'm saving though, because I don't know how llong I'm willing to do this further. I might want to start my own bussines one day... I need to do alot of work besides the hours, but I'mmore than willing to do it, since it gives me alot of satisfaction in return. My influence is growing steadily, and having a solid network is a great advantage where I teach.
Well I'm actually not sure.
But as someone that wears contacts, he might have thought it's supposed to burn (which contacts initially do) , and hope the next one would be normal.
Paid very well for someone my age.
It doesn't suck.
I teach two blocks, each consist of 12 students.
A lot of grading, papers to grade at least 3 times a week.
I patrol the dorms sometimes, but it usually ends up being interesting.
My dad was the previous principle, so it was breezy.
>I teach two blocks, each consist of 12 students.
fuuuuuck, that's nice
>A lot of grading, papers to grade at least 3 times a week.
reasonable, if there's only 24
>I patrol the dorms sometimes, but it usually ends up being interesting.
do you smoke weed before making your rounds (don't need to answer this one )
>Paid very well for someone my age.
Better or worse than 40k in the Northeast US?
i believe it. people are stupid
(on phone, can't into greentext)
-be corporal of muhreens
-supervising weekly room clean ups
-walk into a boot ass marine's room
-see him laying on the ground, halfway out of the head (bathroom)
-is this asshole really sleeping in the middle of field day? on the fucking floor at that
-smell really strong chlorine
-kick this fucker
-he's not responsive
-drag him out of the room, slap him around a bit
-this asshole mixed bleach and ammonia in the toilet, goes to clean it, then passes out from the fumes
pretty sure he would've died i hadn't came along when i did. never underestimate human stupidity
Thanks for the entertainment OP
>Ahmad began chilling in my office a lot
>Only because I forced him to, the snobs in this school can be brutal
>Ahmad comes to class late again
>I gave up on him
>"ehehe i am not home so how can do work??"
>student comments on how his beanie makes him look like slim shady
>"YOU IS MAKE CALLING ME SLIMEY??"
>"Ahmad he didn't mea-
>"YOU IS NOT TEACHER IF YOU IS MAKIN HIM MAKIN FUN OF MEEEE"
>"STUBID, UR MOZER IS STUBID GURL"
>"AHMAD. SIT. DOWN."
>He actually does
>"Thank you, Ahmad"
>"You is not making welcome"
>Head to the lab
>Everyone has a partner
>Ahmad ends up with a qt
>he does not take this lightly
>"oooooh, u is nice one"
>Girl is polite and thanks him
>Ahmad knocks over a big beaker
>After he breaks the measuring cylinder I tell him to watch out
>"STOOPID SCIENCE TINGS MAKE FALLIN SO ALONE"
>Girl helps him out with the measurements
>"oooooh, you smart one"
>"u kno my fazer? he makin cash money"
>"like...like makin' it rain"
>"mmm, it's good one."
>like...like makin' it rain''
ahmad king of /b/ confirmed
would everybody lay off of OP and understand this? it's a private school. they set the rules, you agree to them or gtfo. private schools are seldom involved in frivolous lawsuits like public schools are because of this fact. they can hire, fire, punish, however they see fit and set whatever rules they want.
Ahmad just operates in a entirely different plane than us mortals.
So what's the conclusion of Ahmad? Does he still go to your school? Did he even pass? Did anyone ever beat the shit out of him? Did he ever get his dick wet with any girls? Guys?
>40k? Holy shit, that's nothing
Adjunct lyfe >.<
On the bright side, it's fun to blaze before proctoring exams. Then immerse yourself in a sea of hundreds of little paper rustles, tiny moans, and such.
MORE AHMA DFOR THE LOVE OF SWEET BABYH JESUS
My boarding school story
>Be 12 yr old britbong late bloomer, anxious and quiet
>Have rich parents
>Send me to boarding school filled with richfags
>Everyone really nice to me, older kids really nice to me, no idea why
>1 week in really enjoying my stay, think im really popular and am happy
>Upperclassman who was really nice to me comes into our room up to me, wakes me up quietly and says headmaster wants to see me
>Seems a bit weird since its late but okay
>On the way there with him following
>Where is this idiot going doesn't he know the headmasters office is the other way?
>Dragged into a storage locker
>tl;dr forcibly raped
I was there until I was 16, I must of sucked about 500 dicks, cum has an aqquired taste
I'm 19 now and a homo
Not the first few times, I am a regular gay guy but like to trap when im in the mood, I look like a pretty natural trap so im told
>It's dinner time
>Usually prefer to not have dinner in the student's cafeteria but I had to attend to supervise
>Ahmad waddles in
>I swear the moment he stepped in, everyone turned to his direction
>An arabian superstar
>He grabs a plate and his face lights up as he heads towards me
>Sit beside me
>Would be honored if this weren't the teacher's table
>"Ahmad, you should go sit with you friends, this is only for teachers"
>"I am techar. I am techar of lyfe"
>"You make seein how dey be lookin at me?"
>"I tellin u, it cuz I makin it rain"
>He takes a bite of his food
>Yupp, he just bit into ham
>"What dis meat? Goat?"
>His face drops
>It was beautifully dramatic the way he dropped his plate on the floor
>The various sauces on the plate staining the skirts of the girls sitting in front of us
>"WHY YOU MAKIN ME EAT SIN???"
>"Ahmad I didn't kno-"
>"THERE IS PIG IN MY BEEELLLYY"
>He grabbed his stomach upwards and dropped it to make it bounce
>"It was an accid-"
>I MAKE PUTTING IN DA MOUTH NOT ACCIDENT
>He then pointed at the chef
>Literally everyone was watching ahmad at this point
>YOU MAKIN' PIG BUT U ARE PIG!
>YOU BAD MAN MAKIN DA BELLY FULL OF FILTH
>"Ahmad, it's ok-"
>"NOT! NOT! NOT OKAY YOUR FACE IS MAKIN OKAY, OKAAAY??!"
>He threw his cup on the floor, and we all watched it shatter as he walked away
> It's 3 a.m. in the morning, put my key in the door
> Bodies laying all over the floor and
> I don't remember how they got there
> But I guess I must'a killed 'em, killed 'em
this is wrong, private schools actually pay worse than public, teachers go there because they don't need to keep up with accredation and you can tell students to fuck off
now I don't know about boarding school pay rates so maybe they give you a half-way decent wage
>Ahmad walks into class the next day
>It's like he completely forgot about yesterday's incident
>"Ahmad did you find the homework difficult?"
>"Maybe yes, maybe no"
>It's like his way of playing hard to get
>"Ahmad, you're in your classmate's spot"
>"Ahmad...you are. Please get up and go back to your own seat."
>He shrugged "Not"
>Ahmad, either go to your own seat or leave
>"WHO SHE THINK SHE ARE??"
>Ahmad, I'm not kidding
>"HER FATHER MAKE SELL HOTDOG IN STREET???"
>"SHE IS DOG HE IS SELLING"
>"Please don't be rude"
>"I JUST BE FOR REAL NOT LIE"
>"YOU IS KNOWING MY FAZER IS WHO????"
>"HE MAKE BUY YOU AND ALL UR DOG FAMILY"
>The girl he called a dog is laughing hysterically
>"YOU LAUGHIN' AT ME???"
>"HOW ZA CLOWN LAFFIN AT A KING???"
I wish I had the time to write up a few more sexual stories not involving Ahmad, or at least telling you all Ahmad's stories. I guess I'll leave it till sometime within these 3 days.
Goodby OP, scolar and a gentleman.
ASS FOR DE REST OF YOU FAGGOTS, B WILL DELIVER, COMPILATION OF AHMAD AND SEXY STORIES SHALL BE MADE NOW, I HEREBY USE BOTH CAPS AND INVOKE THE RIGHT OF DOING SO BY REFERING TO RULE 32!
You get the stick up the ass reward of this thread.Grats
Well thankfully, Ahmad is still a student in the school and he's still a troublemaker. They forced him into extra English lessons, but his English is still beautifully incoherent.
I want to start another thread soon continuing Ahmad's tale.It sucks that the best have yet to be told. But how do confirm it's me next time? Really wouldn't want anyone to bullshit stories under Ahmad's name.
i'm just reading a few and know already that you're a douchebag nigger and not suited for the teaching job at all
if you haven't already, choose another profession
i mixed bleach, ammonia and baking soda in a bottle wheni was a wee lad thirty odd years ago. shit blew up and i woke up on the ground with a seriious headache. i once mixed alcohol bleach and gasoline in a bottle and lit it with the intent of throwing it. Shit blew up in my hand. got first degree burns and my nose burnt as did my throat and lungs. kids are generally stupid, but thanks my stars and garters, i'm still alive.
Yes I would kill for the emo bitch on the left.
>Be me, 19
>Councelor at expensive swiss summercamp
>Mainly arabs, jews and russians
>Mfw most of them are called mohhamed (im serious)
>From 1st day obvious its turning into Russia vs sandniggers
>Mohhameds talking about how theyre richer than everyone, start pissing councelors off
>Doing the nightshift when l hear a loud screan in the boys hall
>Run, open the door and see 4 mohammeds all fapping and yelling shit in arabic
>Sidenote: two people per room dont know how they got there as I habe to stay in hallway all night and rooms are infront of each other
>Mohhameds staring at me keep talking in arabic
>Window opens another mohhamed comes in, ass first through the window
>Had to call other councelors as i was baffled from what was happening
>Mfw sandniggers didnt fuck with me after that incident
>Next day spanish kids teaching insults to arabs
>This is bound to go sour
>Try to call down the mohammed army
>One calls me a faggot in spanish
>Aww hell no, better make an example out of this fucker.
>We were at football practice
>Make mohammed run laps all afternoon while we have fun playing foot
>This, to my obliviousness, backfired really badly
I feel stupid saying this, but I prefer not posting any pictures. You can never be too careful son.
Just keep an eye out for me on Thursday, this time or maybe a few hours earlier. You'll know my Ahmad when you see it.
For a teacher your grammar's sorta awful. and I don't doubt that you teach at this prestigious school cause your stories have some depth but why does it seem like more of a shitty highschool with all the drama rather than a prestigious boarding school.
Here you guys go, the whole story of ahmad.
1) English is not my first language, it's actually not even my second. So excuse me for the silly mistakes I make. I teach in English and I guarantee you I talk better than I type.
2) I am focusing on the more interesting aspects of the school rather than things you've already heard of. Also, the story I mentioned features a girl having a mental breakdown, which is understandable considering the stress we put on the students, this isn't by any means considered "drama".
>Had been flirting with other coincelor for a while
>8/10 hot blonde russian, tho flat as a table
>Neither of us doing the nightshift
>Get drunk with other councelors
>Sharing room with other councelor, tell him the room is gonna be busy
>Have amazing sex, one of the best nights of my life
>Anon I have to go back to my room
>Okay, though lets smoke a cigg first,
>Open the door, boxes of dirty shoes start falling on us
>Literally a wall of boxes
>Can hear the mohammeds laughing all along the hall
>Bastards plotted this with one of the councelors
are you like 12? learn to write your story properly
>Relations between russians and mohammeds is tense
>Boss councelor telling is this isnt new happens every year
>Motherfucker underestimating like Obama
>One of the russians touches one of the mohammed girls ass, theyre all mohammeds
>These kids brought up in super religious envitonments
>These kids are wishing death upon the russian kid, they would easily stone him to death
>Calm down the situation with the kids, but I knew it was going to explode soon
>FF a couple hours
>All in cafeteria, lasaña today yumm
>Kids forming a line
>Motherfucker touches her butt, as he was pushed by some kid behind him
>Brawl ensues between russians and mohammed army
>Lasaña flying everywhere
>Mfw Im hiding under the table
>Not worth the hassle
Kek, he's just implying that females are stupid.
Which is true, now fuck off
Amazing fucking stories OP, great to have some original content and not the made up bullshit of a 16-year old for once