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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

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tell us
>shit posted on /b/
>went to class
>was never late
>studied hard
>made good grades
>didn't talk without raising my hand
Jerked off in the middle of class
>Glued a quarter to the floor in front of autistic/down syndrome class
>Riot that lasted 2 hours
>No longer have a special needs class at my school
>Sharted during the WASL
that shit rly is fucked up
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>be the weird kid
>no one mess with me
>no one talk with me either
>I fucking hate our class bully
>he is always messing with the nerdy girl I had a crush on
>fucking asshole
>well gess what, I'm also an asshole
>shove half a laxative (liquid) in his sport drink before a game
>long storie short he changed schools after being greg the crap crapper for a couple months
>no one knows what I did
The key to getting away with shit like this is not telling a single soul about your master ruse.
We "hanged" a dude once from the 3rd floor, holding him by the ankles and shaking him in the void. The faggot litterally shat himself.
You sick fuck

>senior year
>captain of track team
>annoying fat sophomore kid (thrower) won't shut up
>end of the meet, everyone is getting their stuff and going on the bus
>fat kid tells me he's going to the restroom
>the bathroom door has a hinge on the outside with the lock on it
>lock kid inside
>go to bus
>coach takes a head count, one short
>tell him the kid left with his parents, they believe me because captain
He never showed up to practice after that
Real or not, that was an amazing thing to picture.
>be in classroom
>get there 10 minutes before class
>a few of my friends in class
>take out long florescent lights from their fixtures
>throw them outside the window
>every last fucking one of them
>mfw the teacher comes in and the light doesn't turn on

>mfw teacher rages and the entire class laughs
>mfw the school was to fucking retarded to do anything about it

ahhh the good ol days
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>janitor was a huge dick
>pissed all on the toilet seat
>felt bad afterward
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>Be me
>Be 14
>Biology class
>Teacher was some old fatass fucking bitch
>It was break time but we had to stay in class doing work instead of enjoying it as usual
>Fatass teacher leaves for her break and coffee
>We get to her chair, unscrew it (it was one of those 2 parts wooden chair), remove the upper part, put the screw in again and put the upper part of the chair over the screw in perfect balance.
>Bitch gets back from her coffee
>Tries to sit on the chair
>The chair literrally break in two as she tries to sit on it and the bitch falls on the floor making a loud crash noise
>Some of us shout "Oh my god she is so fat she broke the damn chair!"
>Fatass teacher leaves class in tears
>Get a substitute teacher for the rest of the year
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I didn't do this but..

We use to have "the poop phantom" we had 6 different hallways , 100 , 200 ,300 ,400 ,etc hallways. There use to be a kid who would shit in the bathrooms all over the sinks and spread it all over the walls in the bathroom and sometimes the lights, the toilet paper box, under the trash can etc. We called him the "poop phantom" for years... Nobody could ever figure it out who it was but everybody would instantly be at the scene after he had done it. He got really good at it, it came to the point where ALL the teachers in the schools had walkie talkies and would refer to him as bathroom boy. One time I heard coach K say she knew the poop phantom was about to strike. He didn't, but ended up striking two periods later. He left a note on the mirror my senior year and said " you'll never find me ". He's still out and about I'm sure today.
I drenched one of the actors from the show supernatural or whatever its called back in HS in lucky charms, chocolate milk and spit from a 3 story drop above the cafeteria exit
>be in middle school
>everyone taking showers after pe
>collect at least 10 dudes piss in a bottle
>pour it on the guy in our class with the crooked dick
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OP here
I'll tell one, not so fucked up but was fun at the time

> be 13
> have school lockers
(about 40?40 and like 1.50 high or something)
>somehow get the fat guy (my best friend now) in it
> 3 kids pushing him in and one locking it
> he laughs it off but is getting crushed and starts to panic after like 1min
> guy with the key runs arround and throws it in the air and catches it a few times
> throws it up
> mfw when it does not come down
> oh god my sides
> it was stuck on thr lamp rail
> tell fat kid we lost the key
> he is already in a bad state
> starts freeking out hardcore
> no room the breath in there
> had to call the janitor
> had to break up the door
>took about 15 min to get him out
> waterfalls of sweat running down a white mountain of flesh

mfw nobody got un trouble and we become best friends
>Every day me and my friend fucked with the janitors at lunch time
>there was a drinking fountain near where we sat
>after a while we would go get lunch and make fucked up stuff with the food after eating or during eating
>we put the stuff we made onto the drinking fountain
>sometimes it drew massive crowds of kids
>carrot with a face stuck in orange/meat patty just straight up on the fountain
>one day we concoted something so vile
>they were trying out this new shitty gross ass bean dip
>they came in these little clear plastic cups
>i took the bean dip and mixed it with every god damn thing that was liquidy/chunky
>mayonnaise, ranch dressing, other salad dressings, ketchup, small chunks of meat
>i made two of these unbearable pieces of shit
>one i splattered all over the drinking fountain and the wall it was on
>the other i stuck it upside down on the desk of a weird beta kid we all hated
all in all it was pretty fun
>be after PE
>avin a giggle with me mates in the locker room
>class nerd goes to take a shower cause he sweats like a pig
>showers are in the same room, behind doors
>there is a gap between the shower closets and the ceiling
>start throwing shit in there
>nerd rages and slips in the shower, hurts his back
>get everyone to try and spit over the shower wall
>one spitball lands right in the nerd's face
>furious fat ass nerds runs out of the shower still naked
>tries to tackle someone
>gets hit in the stomach as retaliation
>commits suicide after 3 months
>have a giggle with my mates
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>lock bathroom door
>someone starts knocking
>wait for them to leave
>take shit in urinal
>few minutes later
>hear keys jingling outside
>janitor walks in
>im the only one inside, asks me if i was getting high
>sees poop on urinal
>gets mad as fuck
>2 day suspension
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Also I remember this autistic dude we used to beat up everyday for fun and ended up in mental hospital after he tried to commit suicide.

Ah, good old times.
one of my buddies did that in the sink on graduation. Sucks you got caught
ITT : Cancer
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Phantom pooper story person, got a few more.

We use to have "IIST" wars, where everyone would throw nuts,bolts,screws,hard drives,graphics cards,mice,headphones ALL across a large room when the teacher was gone which happened twice a class. The room was always a COMPLETE DISASTER with about 60 working computers we were all learning on. We started to get subsitutes it got so out of hand and we ended up just starting the wars immediately we got into class. Didn't even wait for the subsitute to be there anymore, sometimes the subsitutes would join sides on a war, would throw nuts and bolts at other kids with us, some kid got hit in the face with a harddrive but it never leaked outside of our class. Was absolutely crazy.

Second story

There was a phantom pisser knockoff of the phantom shitter, he use to piss in cups during class and set it in the trash can properly so it would spill over when the trash was removed. I remeber there was a good 20 count of phantom pisses that happened.

Third Story
Typical lunch room antics. Get a plastic baggy and set food on one side, hit the other and mortar shit all across the cafteria. People always would one up each other, some people ended up throwing milk cartons at class change when everyone would stand up or ketchup fries, happened on a daily basis. We use to have televisions also in our cafteria, so people would bring in remote controls and change it to the dvd player where people had put in dvd porno rips. Cameras placed everywhere in the halls and cafteria because of shit like this. Nobody ever got caught though.
>not greentext
>doesn't understand the concept of greentext
Phantom shitter story teller, I have one more.

There was this kid in middleschool who did it to himself and it was an accident but, he got really pissed he faile a test in math (algebra) and was I guess trying to make a point, had his fingers on one side of the locker and kicked it as hard as he could thinking he was shutting it and his fingers not being inside of it. He chopped off his second pinky finger and picked it up and went to the science teacher and said verbatim " i chopped my finger off " . The lady completely calm puts it in her hand and walks to the cafteria, grabs ice, ices it. And they replace it back onto him with like 100 stitches.
The funniest part was that the faggot always tried to fight back because he was tall as shit and thought he was strong. Fun times.
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>be me
>freshman year
>one of my friends is being a particularly large shit lord that day
>oh look anon left his book behind
>take book
>throw in trash
>MFW he couldn't check books out the rest of the year
>MFW his parents wouldn't pay the fee
>MFW he really liked reading
you're persistent I'll give you that
>be hanging out with friends
>one guy brings in another one of his friends
>this guy is obviously demented
>always talking shit about black people, how they ruin everything
>I'm 1/4 black by the way
>we are about to jump a fence and I said whitebois cant jump
>this rustles this fag and he says wanna see
>as he is climbing I shake the fence and say whitebois can't jump
>as he gets to the top I shake harder and I make this faggot fall off
>he gets back up pisses, his shorts are ripped and he is bleeding
>climbs up the fence , I know he's gonna try to swing at me
>just as he gets off the fence and he is about to turn around I sock him in the face
>he turns around and punches me in the eyebrow
>I start bleeding like crazy
>he keeps throwing more punches at me
>my brother was there too so he pushed this guy onto a trashcan
>I get back up and stomp his fucking face and then I kick him
>me and my bro start kicking him
>I punch him in the face a few times
>he gets knocked out, doesn't even cover his face so we get direct hits.
>later on whitefaggot keeps challenging me
>I deny him and tell him to fuckoff because I already kicked his fucking ass.
Bullys fucking suck.
>Be in foreign Chinese boy
>Switched to public school at grade three
>Got bored in elective class
>Went to the bathroom
>Instead of pissing in the toilet like every other beta
>I decide to be alpha and piss in the drainpipe, till this day I don't know why I thought it was alpha to piss into a pipe
>Zip up pants and go back to class
>Mfw fellow student told the teacher that someone pissed in the drainpipe
>Secretly panicking
>Teacher starts backtracking who went to the bathroom
>MFW I realize I accidentally went to the girls bathroom
>be 16

>be white

>high-school filled with niggers

>no literally I am nearly a minority

>black history month

>post picture of lead singer of "Oceano" because he is a huge nigger and a metal vocalist

>everynigger mad

>teachers ask who did it and why

>decide to speak up

>say reasons

>even more anger

>get jumped by black kids

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>Be in foreign Chinese boy

>start underground race war

>whole school

>mad as fuck

>one of my friends goes to talent show

>suddenly hear melody I recognize


>lots of white chillun break out in song



>school instantly in riot


>Zim Zam appears riding his trusty steed into battle

>white master race tears everywhere

>niggers slipping on the tears, getting shot repetitively

>blaze of glory by Bon Jovi starts playing over intercom


>salute the flag and sing praises while crying with a rock hard boner

>the hero we deserve is throwing skittles and Arizona teas on all the bodies


>graduate and become a police officer

>tell my story for generations to come

>never need viagra
>be in foreign Chinese boy
how old was he
Not me but an aquaintance

>10th grade
>be in class before it starts
>one kid has drink but leaves to get something else
>comes back and drink is gone
>thinks its the one black guy in the class room
>huge argument ensues
>teacher gets pissed and takes both to the office
>turns out it was the one kid who never does anything
>laugh riot follows

I think everyone had a good chuckle that day
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>Be in foreign Chinese boy
>never again
>now I'm gay
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>Be in foreign Chinese boy
>already kicked his fuckin ass
>me and my brother
>cheap shot first hit
Fuckin' niggers 0/10.
Jesus H. Mercy now the crazy shit starts
>Stay backs after-school every Friday for Scouting and Guiding
>Get to know that Scouting and Guiding heads will not be coming this week
>Free stay back
>Come Friday
>Every Scout-in-training has brought his designated item
>Go to senior staff-room. Empty. Close door
>Empty bags onto a teacher's desk
>TP, marbles, ropes, empty photo frames, small pieces of iron and wood pipe, clock with no hands, pieces of toast, and best of all, strawberry jam
>Toast in teacher's drawers, toilet paper between notes and textbook, ropes tying chairs to tables and other chairs, iron pipe in the monitor, and wooden pipe in the CPU of the teacher's computer, marbles in the water cooler, clock super glued to the ceiling, and strawberry jam EVERYWHERE
>Do this with every room that wasn't a staff room
>Finally reach Principal's office
>15 boys in all, each with a one litre bottle of cooking oil
>Turn to 16th boy who was supposed to get the matchstick
>He didn't
>15 already turned crazy kids puch him around in oil until he's shining from head to toe
>So slippery he can't even stand
>Starts crying
>We leave him and walk out like the oily daredevils we were

Turns out the Principal had forgotten something in her office, and had returned some 40 minutes after we had left. The snon that we had left on oil on the floor readily gave all our names, and all us 15 boys got suspended for a week. Which was pointless, because nearly the whole school was given a holiday for that long, since that was how long a cleaning company took to clean up the mess. Apparently, strawberry jam is really hard to get out.
A very nig thing to do.

>High school football
>varsity team
>be bench warmer
>be at rivals home field
>losing, as usual
>one of our derpy friends gets to start
>best friend on team is out due to collar bone injury
>we decide to just fuck around
>go to buy laxatives
>can't find any
>buy sleeping pills instead
>at game starting after warm ups
>derpy friend is out there playing hard, but bad
>time for a swap
>crushed pills into a little dixi cup and fill it up with water
>Oh wow derp friend you look so exhausted drink up
>best friends hands him the tainted water
>drinks it in 1 gulp
>thanks bro
>derpy friend heads out to the field
>slowly we notice his response time is diminishing considerably
>coach pulls him after he didn't even move after the ball was hiked
>lel like crazy
>while this was happening we spotted another water bottle that belonged to an acquaintance
>dump some sleeping pills in there
>acquaintance isn't really noticing the effects
>bus ride home is noticeably more quite
>look back and the loudest asshole on the team is holding the water bottle
>hes sound asleep
we lost that game
ahhhh I get it you fight like a nigger cause your 1/4 black. I get the joke
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>be me
>Anti social as all fuck
>My social avoidance comes off as Beta and girls start fucking with me.
>Cant take it any more and start to grow my nails out.
>Layer them with nail acrylic and black nail polish.
>They are super thick and hard, file them to edged points.
>8 tiny little knives on my fingers.
>Bitch pushes me for looking at her.
>I go all wolverine on her ass.
Suspended, had my nails clipped by the court, and spent a month doing community service.
Thing is nails grow back, none fucked with me after that.
>avin a giggle with me mates in the locker room
GTFO, foreignfag. Nobody likes your kind around here.
>tricked my friend into eating an entire bar of chocolate laxative
>made a black kid think he was being shot at
>played multiplayer pc halo and pirated games in web design
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>Be senior year
>In computer lab doing some bullshit thing
>Weird beta-esque kid uses his flash drive for something
>Teacher sees hentai pics and other NSFW stuff
>Kid gets suspended from school for rest of the year
>Still graduates tho

Good fucking riddance i hated that kid. he smelled of ass and creepiness
Die, nigger.
Which actor? I want it to be all of them.
Please do i tell i am intrigued now
I performed an exorcism on a girl that was seizuring in the middle of english class freshman year. Bible and all.
>be in stupid reading class
>we all get our work done but goof around
>we have these projects we work on every day for a half hour or something
>teacher says alright class lets do our projects
>friend pipes up "Awww miss anon, those projects are GAY"
>Without missing a fucking beat the teacher replies
>"no YOU'RE gay"
>laugh like crazy

later some nigger joined our school and got her fired with her blackness. This is middle school by the way.

But in all seriousness, they call the janitor to break a locker open instead of getting a ladder?
> be in high school
> spanish class from an old bitch
> everyone in class starts stomping the ground
> tell teacher it is coming from upstairs
> dumb bitch goes looking for the stairs
> the building doesn't have an upstairs
Sounds like the nigger lost you an awesome teacher.
>junior year
>everybody decided "fuck it fuck high school"
>every junior had massive senioritus
>no respect to teachers
>massive rebels
>have class with that weird guy you're friends with because if you aren't he'll kill you when he shoots up the school
>physics class
>dude is whispering in my ear about how he fucked my sister
>without a word stand up
>walk around
>don't listen when the teacher calls my name
>pick up his bag
>proceed to dump my Gatorade all inside it
You think it isn't a big deal but all those important papers and books he has stained blue/rendered lost
>have a tard/autistic kid I could never tell
>is a little bitch
>always talks about my sister and about how I ran over my dog once
>whispers quietly "hey nick...where's your dog" with his stupid tard smile
>tell him to shut the fuck up
>teacher writes me up
>go to kids dad who happens to be my coach
>coach likes me
>"coach I need to talk to you about your son"
>"well, he keeps saying he's gonna fuck my sister, and keeps talking about my dog that died, and it makes me really sad. Just have a word with him please"
>I know he got his ass beat that night lol
>tard apologized the next day and never spoke to me again

We did something similar to this once

>at lunch
>high school too mind you
>get this nasty ass rice leftovers for like 25 cents
>make awesome mixture of whatever we can find
>I get a great idea to put it in the vending machine
>Hear about the results a few days later
>foreign exchange student buys a tea or something
>covered in our new creation
>they had video of it
> be in senior year
> 8/10 gf always horny as fuck
> gf decides she wants to give me head at school one day
> ain't gonna say no
> slip out of class go into hallway between lockers
> starts giving me head
> teacher walks by getting caught
> ohshit.jpg get caught
I didn't do anything too fucked up in highschool but I do have one fucked up memory.
>need to shit super bad
>open up bathroom stall
>shit splattered everywhere
>blood everywhere
>some sort of... green stuff
>blood clots in the toilet
>some sort of sickening brown liquid dripping from around the edge of the toilet
>seriously, what the fuck happened in here?
>something deeply disturbs me about this
>don't even look in the next stall to see if it's clean
>just walked out of the bathroom, out the nearest door, and all the way home before my last class began
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>be in high school
>be me
>be heading to class
>9/12 qt walks towards me
>"hey anon, you know Cassidy?"
>AKA fatass McBlobicus
>"do you like her?"
>laugh in her face
>"are you fucking kidding me? Do I look like a fucking whale hunter to you? Is my fucking name Captain Ahab?? Am I not actually in school, am I actually on a boat leading sailors through hellish waters on some deeply thematic journey that illustrates both the insanity of obsession and the folly of vengeance? Christ!"
>mfw Cassidy is right behind me
>mfw she stomps off like a hippo in tears
>mfw qt slaps me in the face
>mfw Cassidy attempts suicide and gets placed in a ward
>mfw I later fuck qt while we're drunk at a party
This sounds like exactly what all the bathrooms near the middle school hallway looked like

>inb4 middle school kids are fuckin animals
I've seen some nasty fucking toilets in the schools but this one took the cake by far. Honestly, it was unsettling.
That fucking toilet haunted my dreams for a week thereafter and I still think back on it with dread and curiosity.
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> gets walked to office by teacher
> deny everything, she was just taking nap on my lap sir
> teacher checks cameras at school
> can't see fully what happens since lockers block view
> mfw teacher about to retire end of year and doesn't want to deal with my shit
> mfw gets let go without punishment
Man, you're only a quarter black?

sounds like you went full nigger. Fuck you
>Be me
>random class without a teacher to handle the herd
>you are that damn alpha in you class
>guys doing some shit in the corner
>you go with them
>they are watching some porn magazines
>there's this shy girl 8/10 that every class/school has
>like the damn alpha of the class you must do something to kill the time, other that just watch that damn magazine
>shy girl is a friend of your bitchy gf
>bitchy gf knows karate and box
>you aproach the shy girl from the back and take her to the corner with the guys crowd
>shy girl strugles but it is easy to handle because its really damn small.
>man up and start to tease the shy girl while the guys see
>lick his tits and finger her damn pussy
>she is weet as fuck now
>bitchy gf aproaches and gives you a damn punch right into your stomach
>the crowd disperses a little
>you command your mans to violate the shy girl in the mean time while you fight your bitchy gf
>sometimes you do some sparring with your gf in the roof when there's not class so you know how strong she is
>right jab and then uppercout
>you almost k-o'ed your gf but its fine
>the guys are raping the shy girl, damn gang bang
>you take your gf and put her on the desk, foreplay a little and then you fuck her while the other guys are raping the shy girl.
and the other girls didnt do a single shit, they were just looking all the time, in the end not a single authority appeared in the class room.
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>be on bus to vocational school
>girl in front of me and my bro getting on the book of faces
>see email/pw
>type it into my web browser on my phone
>post the simple status of "butts"
>later that day girls friend who I am also friends with messages me on fb
>tells me girl is pissed because of that
>mfw no fucks were given

seriously it was that deep to her, but then again this was like a 16yo girl so everything is super deep
oh yeah, if you wonder about the shy girl, she never said something to the principal or her parents.
And i fingered her while in class sometimes, she never said something about that either.
Beautiful, a sight to be seen I'm sure
You know your school has a problem when the principal has to make an announcement basically saying "this is gross stop"
why did you lick his tits?
>ADHD at max
>chasing friends
>one takes my hat
>nobody takes my hat
>start running after them
>throwing shit at them
>Schoolguard (whatever their title is) stops me
>I dont stop
>grabs my sweater
>it rips
>Adrennaline maxing out
>uber pissed
>hit him as hard as I can
>Miss hand
>hit jaw
>break 3x teeth out of him
>sued and banned from school for a month

Most epic break I ever got
>be me and my friend in computer class
>fat chick sits next to us
>we always have candy cause we steal it from our earlier class
>one day we drop a piece by accident
>fat chick gets on all fours, runs after it and eats it
>we throw another
>she runs on all fours after that one too
>we did this for the rest of the year to entertain ourselves
his name was Gray/Grey _____ Damon (I probly butchered his name(s) and may have changed to a more "hollygay sound but I remember hearing he got casted after being a huge dousche in HS, wasn't surprised. Also picked on a kid (lots of good stories) that tried really hard to be straight, basically made this kid turn gay now he's a gay porn actor (Paul Broxton
typo, im drunk and its damn late i dont even know if i can wake up for the work later.
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>talk a few times with fat aspie kid because he's one of the few people playing vidya other than halo and gta
>suddenly thinks I'm his best friend (which I guess is accurate, he had no friends)
>follows me and my friends everywhere
>need to get rid of this annoying fucker asap
>he takes an apple to the head at lunch from a table like 50ft away, laugh directly in his face
>walk downtown another lunch with friends, he's so fat he's lagging way behind huffing and puffing like he's going into cardiac arrest
>beat his ass playing metroid prime on DS and laugh in his face until he runs away nearly in tears
>realize he has crush on weaboo social studies teacher
>fed a guy from the vidya forum we were both on info about the teacher, which he then used to convince aspie that he met the teacher on a dating site and they were going to fuck, with graphic details
>trolled the shit out of him on said forum with alt accounts and using the school computers, which aspie posted with frequently
>admins noted troll account IPs matched one that aspie posted with from school, thus getting him banned for trolling himself
>aspie tries to insult my friend by saying he has no chin
>friend replies "maybe I can borrow one of yours"
Please tell me theres more stories like this. I love hearing about the borderline obese getting teased
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High school?!
I didn't go 'cause I'm not a square like all you faggots. All you true retards have nothing on me as I chose my own destiny and now have a unbelievable life that all you autist could never attain! But I'm happy to read you're pathetic stories, losers.!
>be me
>be in high school
>be in art class
>be making goddamn Picasso cuz I'm badass as fuck
>see emo girl almost no one talks to
>8/10 would bonerate
>start talking to the one person in class she talks to
>some beta that she friendzoned
>we bond over anime
>hesitantly introduces me to emo
>we talk in class now
>slowly phase out beta
>slip in a couple of compliments casually in conversation
>shit like you have pretty hair
>start talking outside of class and school
>bitch talks for hours on the phone
>eventually we fuck
>get horny in art class one day
>convince emo to fuck me at school
>we both ask to go to el baƱo
>head to a corner no one goes to
>she hikes her skirt up and pulls her panties down to her thighs
>put that shit in her
>mfw no condom
>mfw the beta asks to go to the bathroom and sees us fucking
>the look on his fucking face
>mfw emo convinces him not to tell anyone
>mfw a few months later I start dating someone
>mfw she's so crushed she dates beta
>mfw she cheats in him with me
>mfw she gets preggs with mah seed son
>mfw he thinks it's his and has two full time jobs to support them
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>Be in middle school
Don't fucking care this story is worth it
>Decide one day for no reason at all to shit on the floor next to toilet
>Go back to class and tell a couple of buddies somebody shit on the floor, they find it hilarious
>Start doing it once every three weeks
>Everybody freaks the fuck out
>Start getting creative, smearing in using toilet paper in the shape of random cartoon characters
>Everybody freaks the fuck out again
>Walk in bathroom one day with posters posted all over saying "If you poop on the floor, you will not be at ******* anymore."
>Momentary freak out then realize they have no idea who it is.
>Spread rumors to blame it on autistic kid.
>MFW it worked and to this day my friends talk about the year ***** always shat on the floor.
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Possibly one of the best stories ive heard on here congrats
Well, normally when stuff like this were to occur there'd be some word from the staff about "don't do that shit."
But, I seem to be the only person to encounter the horror and it was never mentioned by the staff- so it's even more curious.
Who are you? You go to grove?
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>mfw I played calculator games through 90% of my classes and was valedictorian
Im damn proud of you son.
i fucked my gf in the school bathroom too, and the classroom when it was breaktime.
Me and a couple of mates caught a seagull on a fishing rod with bit of bacon rind as bait.
Fuckin teachers dogged us to the RSPCA

i almost would feel guilty... what the fuck is wrong with me.
Yeah, I thought I was intelligent too. Then I went to MIT.
That moment is what got you laid, LOL. She saw your alpha
Sorry not gonna greentext

Freshman year we had this farm kid in our class who had the rankest farts know to man, it smelled like death fell from his anus we called him farmer brown note. He could pretty much fart on command, he would go to the restroom start taking a shit and then stop halfway through his shit come back to the classroom and be able to fart for a good while.

Now, I went to a private catholic school. We would go to church 2 days a week. Church was the perfect time for Farmer brown note to release his inner spirit, there was a few times where we had taken a short break from mass because of his ass stench. He never got in any trouble for it either.
>>537122992 i am proud, anon. You did good

>Same fat chick
>walking down the hall at school
>group of kids start making whale noises as she approaches
>make rumbling sounds to the beat of her walking
>she starts to walk faster and covers her face
>group of kids start falling over and loosing balance while others make crashing/rumbling sounds
>she cried in class
I once put panadols in bits of bread and fed it to seagulls on a school excursion. Needless to say i got suspended

Bathroom related story
>Use bathroom once in a blue moon
>Like I said bathrooms are super gross
>Go urinate
>Someone walks in and I wait for them to leave
>Start pressing lever on hand towel dispenser till the towel touches the floor and then some change
>Force all of towel back into dispenser
>Rinse and repeat for all of them
>Imagine the look on someones face when they get more than they want

I was not a shitty kid, just had stories from people i know doing shitty things
Yeah, same story here anon. I was the smartest motherfucker I knew until I went to university.
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>put a bunch of tacks on some beta's chair
>start talking to him as he enters the class to get his attention
>he sits down on the tacks
>mfw watching a kid trying not to cry as he literally pulls tacks out of his ass
>set a fire hydrant on fire

Told the cops it was a low-rider full of Mexicans.

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>Had a locker next to best friend and an empty one.
>We were allowed to leave campus at lunch and during breakfast to the nearest cafe and convenient store if we wanted to get eats and drinks.
>My friends and I always had trash left over.
>Over the course of the year we began throwing trash into the empty locker, placing each item as if we were placing blocks in Tetris.
>Months passed, soda cans/bottles, chip bags, juice boxes, old fries, apple cores, etc. filled it half-way.
>A few more months pass and it's completely full, cram packed and unable to hold anything else.
>Starts to smell terrible.
>We all leave it there regardless, because we've created a monster and there's no stopping it without consulting the help of school authority, which would result in us getting punished.
>A month or two passes after the trash smell comes to be, when our Art teacher catches whiff.
>He searches high and low for the source and like a hound on the hunt, zones in on "The Locker".
>My group of friends being the most well known prankster dipshits, and it being right next two of the gangs lockers, he immediately had us called into the office.
>We were saddened, be spent the next 3 minutes going through our memories in trash, throwing it away bit by bit. Sludgy goop, shriveled apples, smells unexplainable.. There was even some fries that had turned blue.
>That is as bad as the punishment got, but we will never forget "The Locker".
Pic Related, it's a picture of the locker 2 months before its life came to a close. RIP
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top lel
Surprisingly for going to a county school not a lot of fatasses in the school but their was the occasional fat guy shooting way outside his dating standards
>be someone else
>just kidding be me
>be in tenth grade
>bitchy grill that I've known since elementary walks up to me in cafeteria
>tells all my friends that I have the smallest dick in the world
>tell that bitch to go have sex with herself
>people laugh
>later approach her at her locker
>no people in hallway (class is happening)
>I tell her I have something to show her
>whip out erect penis
>she just stares at it, speechless
>her hand twitches
>mfw against all logic she touches it
>she strokes it
>suddenly stops, tells me she has to get back to class
>fuck blue balls
>talk later the next day
>she admits she's had a crush on me ever since fifth grade
>tell her to hang out with me after school
>go to creek where no one is
>get her to suck my dick
>promise her that well go out, provided she ducks me right there
>bust in her mouth
>tell her I don't think I want to date anyone
>tell her I don't wanna ruin what we have as friends
>go out with her friend three weeks later
>cheat on gf with her
>tell her I care about her
>never date her
>mfw she's still on the hook after seven years
Fine, fine.

>11th grade
>There's a sweet, pretty girl who had her lost her legs in an accident and uses a wheelchair
>Has very few friends due to her condition
>She's a fantastic artist
>My friends and I decide to prank her for shits and giggles
>I pretend I want to be her friend and she warms up to me instantly
>We start to hang out outside of school
>Sleep over at her house one night
>We play video games, playing some Twisted Metal
>Ask her if she can show me her portfolio (she was in the advanced art program in our school and needed to create fifty or so amazing art pieces to pass)
>After a game I say I need to go to the bathroom
>Pull out big-ass scissors from my pocket (big pocket I was wearing jncos) go into her room, and cut the bottom-half of all of her art pieces off and trash them
>The next day, she rolls up to me in the middle of class, on the verge of crying, and asks me what happened to her art
>I said, "I made them look like you"
>All my friends laugh heartily
>She rolls over to her table, alone, and just stares at her hands in her lap for the rest of the day

It was less than a month before that art was due, too. There's no way she made it up in time. Some days I look back and wonder what became of her. Did my cruelty make her a stronger person? Or a weaker person? Maybe thinking about her is "regret". Who knows?
>how do i read
cool story fag
You're a nigger
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>gf busts my balls to go into school musical
>end up getting a lead part because apparently I have a nice voice
>resent that I have to do it
>end up smoking weed before every audition/practice
>do the final performance higher than I've ever been before in my life
>can't hold a note, voice is really gruff and scratchy from the smoking
>at the end the music teachers are pissed at me because they're convinced I ruined the whole thing
>mfw our school won an award for having the best musical
so you were a fucking prick and then jumped the kid with your brother
you're the epitome of a pussy
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>11th grade
>Walking to lunch
>Walk by front office right next to where they rally the tards
>Hear tard handler yelling
>Hear tard "yelling" back
>I am anticipate
>I close in on the source of the tard battle cry
>It's one of the wheelchair ones, flailing his arms in the air whilst his eyes wander around the room
>I say "Either he's trying to raise the roof or he has down syndrome"
>Friend laughs so hard he cries
>Girl walks up, asks what was funny
>I tell her
>She yells at me and calls the principal over
>Turns out she was a tard handler
>Get sent home
>Mom literally punches me in the face
>Turns out my nephew that lived with me had gotten diagnosed with asperger's that day
It's cool how you managed to get laid so much despite being antisocial and having wolverine claws :^)
Oh so you wouldn't fight him 1 on 1? You're just a pussy ass nigger.
You're one cold motherfucker, anon.
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We used to break in at night, we'd meet up at like 2:30am skating through the darkness and get in through windows we'd leave unlocked.

Used to shit in teachers' desks, set fire to artwork hanging on the walls, dump plants and an OHP into the school pond etc.

Friends got caught by the police after the 6th time or something, I got away and hence got solely blamed for the whole thing.

It is disturbing how many of you guys are at "ape level" with regards to justice, fairness etc.

Protip; you will never raise children successfully, so don't try.
wasn't me but a guy I knew
>be me
>be 16 stoned as fuck
>be morning before 1st period
>random guy turned his bookbag into a decent stereo
>started playing shitty dubstep
>some tard hears shitty dubstep
>tard proceeds to dance as if no one is watching
>literally everyone is watching and laughing at downs girl
>guy I know runs up to her
>starts throwing singles on her
>she doesn't comprehend what just happened
>tard makes a weird war cry and runs off
best morning ever
>sitting at lunch table
>random girl, the kind that invites herself into conversations, shows up
>all my friends start cracking jokes
>eventually I join in
>girl eventually leaves alone
>secretly wanted to bed her so bad
>I got so far and lost it all
>but in the end it doesnt even matter

We still talk but shes a facetious bitch and i will never bag her cause shes all meh about straight up fudging without dating
Not all heavens are same heavens you retarded newfag
>inb4 I'm actually talking to m00t and get b&
post more of her plz
>best friend gets a boyfriend
>everyday at lunch she gives him a blowjob, sometimes even gives him one before/after school too
>never brushes her teeth after
>always know when she does it too cause her face is all red and she is covered in sweat
>nasty motherfucker
>one day I go to the dentist during my first period class
>make sure the dentist gives me a tooth brush, tooth paste and a travel sized mouth wash
>be lunch time now
>I pick up my friend after she blows her boyfriend
>hand her the bag of dentist shit and won't let her in the car til she brushes her teeth
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>be gay
>live in horribly homophobic place/time
>have crush on another boy since like 1st grade
>fast forward to the magic times of senior year
>he comes out to me
>tells me he loves me
>call hiim a fag and never speak to him again
>never see him after highschool
>still a lonely singlefaggot with nobody and nothing
>those feels
read that already
wtf is the point of the ID if it changes within the thread... just why...
So why's your sister such a whore that everyone's talking about her?
Not me but I'll share anyways

>crazy muslim girl
>literally fucking crazy, no one knows what the fuck is wrong with her
>she screams fucking loud if things don't go her way
>she got arrested once for biting someone
>anyways walking to my next class
>all of the sudden a small crowd forms in front of me
>crazy Muslim girl vs some huge ass fat black guy
>securities come before fists start flying
>crazy Muslim girl tries to escape and she looks at me straight in the fucking eyes
>securities detain her
>I swear I fucking saw a demon in those eyes
>she punches the shit out of one the securities straight in the fucking face and spits on the same one
>teachers nearby tell everyone to GTFO
>no one knows what happen to crazy Muslim girl after that
Great stuff
Are you kidding?
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>be junior
>early in the morning, but too late to make it to school on time
>meetup with bros and smoke legal back when that was cool (scooby snacks if anyone cares)
>super out there when we arrive at school
>everyone just looks at me and ask me if im okay
>give em the old thumbs up
>pass out, wake up, go to next class, and repeat
>start shaping up after lunch

I swear going to school blown/ just plain buzzed is some of the best days in my book
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Now i bet sum random office has a poop phantom too..hes adapted..
>be me, freshman year
>there's a girl that is larger than a whale, and will never shut up
>everyone hates her, she's the most annoying person in the school
>towards the end of the year she finally realizes how lonely and pathetic and cries about it in math class every day
>my friend and I come up with a plan to troll the shit out of her
>I make a fake account on Facebook of some douchebag that she thought liked her
>friend a bunch of people from school, and eventually friend her and she accepts
>the next night my friend sleeps over
Nope, I'm a newfag so explain pls
It's funny how easy it is to tell you're not american.
>sophomore in high school
>friend and I decided to go to roof of the school during drama class practice to kill time
>faggot kid follows us up
>friend and I pick him up and throw him into the tall bush beside the school
>kid breaks his arm and walks into school and bitches to teacher
>friend and I say he fell and we all get suspended for being on the roof
I used to shit in my middle school urinals. All of my friends used to do it too. We even had a points system and a game based off of it.
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that lovely place known as Guantanamo happened
I prank called Barbara Spector and goaded her that she wouldn't have the balls to destroy Sweden's cultural identity.

I think I made a big mistake.
>be me in HS, Senior year
>school hires a new janitor, fat dyke with pixie hair cut, possibly around 23
>Janitor is being a lazy faggot and dumps trash and shit out of the bins on the restroom floors.
>Cool black Janitor has to to clean it up cause its dykes day off.
>cool black janitor tells me about this.
>me and a bunch of faggots from track sneak into the bathroom and remove the trap from the sink and clog the shit out of it.
>We each take turns pissing into an entire sink
>fill the rest of the sinks with mayo, muddy water from the track field and vinegar
>find out that dumb ass dyke janitor had to clean out all the sinks the next day hand by hand using a solo cup.
>bitch quits a day later
>help cool nigger janitor by keeping restroom clean.
>get booze and cigs in return

Sounds like you wanted some of that action for yourself
That's pretty cool anon.
Jesus Christ what's wrong with you?
This, all I see is niggers in this thread.
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>hanging out with my friend
>we go see some of his friends of him
>quarter nutella guy thinks i'm racist
>we're about to jump a fence and the same guy starts being racist
>mother fucker starts shaking the fence as i climb it
>hurt my self and get my shorts ripped
>asshole punches me when i'm off guard
>I throw a good punch back at him
>This other black guy jumps me and they beat the shit out of me together
>ask him for a 1v1 but he refuses
>mfw I shoot a black guy named travon later on in my life becuase of this
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>tfw 50 word essay due tomorrow
>Pull up to high school in van with friends
>Snort coke and smoke a fatty
>Go to first period and laugh at the silly ass way my history teacher talks
>Only go to this period so I get credit for being in school that day
>After 1st either grab my friends and leave to go do more drugs or grab my gf and go to her house and fuck the shit out of her all fucking day long, usually the ladder.
>And that was pretty much all of HS
>Now if you had asked about JR High b4 I got a car maybe I would have told you some shit.
>Now I am saddened because the school looks like a prison all fenced in and stuff.. those poor kids
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Well, mines not the edgy abusive or sexual shit you lot get up to, me being old n all, but at least I'm a Legend, are you?
Was 16, worked w/e's etc, bought my first Mc, 500/4 Honda, new back then, lol. Hated school, a snobby Catholic boys High, so I left and got a job in a M/c shop. Next year my Mum conned me into returning, to the local Public High (I'm in Oz). Hated that too, only lasted a few weeks. Classroom was upstairs, wide polished concrete floor along front, wide stairways at each end. I walked out of mid-morning class, got bike, rode it up one set of stairs. I started the wheel spinning till it was smoking, literaly, then tore it down the hall laying smoke like a busfull of Boongs, then off down the other end stairs, never went back.
Now the Legend bit.
I recently met a bloke who started telling me about a young relative of his who went to that High. I mentioned that's where I'd been briefly, and he proceeded to ask me if I'd heard the legend of the mad fucker who smokyed his m/c along the upstars corridor and emptied the whole school?
I hadn't heard the last bit, don't even know if it's true, probably is what with fire-alarms and shit.
So, it's a a part of that H/s's Mythology, the story's been told down the generations for 43 years, yeah, I'm that old, lol,and they've still got the details pretty accurate too, no exageration or add-ons.
Are the tales of your little tricks gunna last nearly half a century?
Poor ladder. What did it ever do to you?
Cause kids these days are fucking animals thats why
Kids these days would stab you with a pencil and then fuck you in the stab wound
>50 words
What kind of retard school do you go to?
>>Bullshit story about being useless instead of learning shit at school.
>>"...usually the ladder."

Glad the education system wasnt wasted on.
You can honestly tell you didn't pay much attention at school, or you just had a serious fixation on ladders.

Probably the ladder. It's usually the ladder.

How can one person be this new?
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>be me
>9th grade
>be in chemistry class
>bitchy teacher wearing white pants
>notice something red around her crotch
>everyone laughs
>teacher quits the next day
Do you even know what that means?
Lol what the fuck
You explained that so shitty
>Be in foreign Chinese boy
you fucking wot?
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Not a personal story but a HS story that got passed around. Like an initiation to that school

>just moved to new school
>one creepy ass janitor
>someone near me makes goat noises
>janitor swings around looking for whodunit but fails and walks away
>later get told that the janitor fucked a goat and got stuck so the fire dept. had to be called
>now anytime someone makes goat noises near him he searches and tries to rat out who did it

One of the best stories ive heard in school in a long time
Did he wrinkle ur fedora when he grabbed it?
>be me
>11th grade
>philosophy test
>dont feel like doing it
>decide to prank the entire class
>get canned fart spray
>spray the entire can inside the classroom
>teacher goes in
>starts gagging with the smell
>teacher tells us the test has been postponned
masturbated in the back of a school bus full of children.
Strangled a first grader when I was in year 5. Nearly fucking killed him.
Lol nice
>Mexican kid on baseball team is a really big asshole
>Thinks he's better than everyone else on the team
>Always lies and talks about "scouts coming to visit" and how he gets tons of calls from colleges for scholarships
>Barely registers, mediocre hitting stats, good outfielder, but nothing remotely special
>Zero intangibles
>One day scout comes to see me (shortstop)
>Talking to him outside of locker room, feel really good about chances of impressing him
>Mexican kid walks by, puts his arm around me, and tells the scout "when are you going to tell him it's me you're here to see?"
>Scout looks uncomfortable and tells me he'll be in the stands watching and wishes me luck
>Mexican just laughs at me and the notion I might be better than him (which I was)
>He walks out of the building, I go back in
>Walk over to his bag with his plain clothes in it and unleash a massive piss in it
>After the game he starts throwing a huge red-faced hissy fit about someone pissing in his bag and how he'll beat everyone's ass in the room
>Ended up getting academic ride
>I mostly love baseball because it let me piss in his bags
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Last year at highschool decided to fuck everything up at the library.

>be me
>12th grade
>walk inside the library
>ask to use a pc
>librarian goes apeshit
>"You can't do it, they're all being used!"
>mfw no one is there.
>pull a chair
>far away from the librarian
>made sure the speakers of every pc were on
>waited for people to come in
>random people starts sitting to use the PCs
>starts playing porn really loud in every PC.
>librarian goes around to check who's doing it
>mfw everyone has it
>mfw she kicks everyone out
Thing That Didn't Happen The Most Award
>not greentext
>didn't read
I performed an exorcism on a girl that was seizuring in the middle of english class freshman year of high school. Bible and all. I still feel bad about that one.
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I think every sports team had that one guy. Glad you put that bitch in his place.
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Oh boy. Here is the time I lived up to my race.

> be me, 10th grade
> Iraqi sandnigger.
> had a unibrow which I plucked, nobody knew about it. First kid to shave, (started in eighth grade)
> probably a 6/10
> anyways. School prom came
> I was known as a funny kid, made a lot of jokes and friends
> well liked. I thought this would apply to chicks having crushes on me,after all, I wasn't beta and I talked to chicks often
> one 9/10 blonde who was my friend. Had a massive crush
> was gonna ask her out.
> when I asked her! she said "um no sorry. You are a nice guy and all, but you are ugly"
> her friends laugh, I laugh with them and brush it as nothing
> they thought I forgot about it
> ididn't.jpg
> when I got home. I cried like a bitch.
> imagine a 6 foot 4 sandnigger with hair everywhere bawling his balls out.
> mum tried to cheer me up. I didn't believe a word about it.
> as I sat in my room, my arab blood rose.
> filthy infidels. I'll show them
> with Allah on my side. I constructed a master plan to ruin school prom
> meet up with best friend. Tell him my plan
> he's down
> I tell another group of guys I know. They are down. I told them that they will be true Arabs if they joined me.
> the plan was. Ping ball stink bombs set up around the gym.
> some rotten eggs to be ditched.
> but the master plan.
> the African water generator.
> a full fucking barrel full of milk and other shit we dumped in there. Mostly bananas
> let it rest in the woods for about a month. Weekly check ups.
> day has come. People really excited about it
> I know what must be done
> my white followers have not bailed out. Allah has blessed them truly
> set up the bombs around the gym.
> took three kids to heave the generator up a flight of stairs to the balcony which overlooked the entire prom
> if we dumped the shit, it would cover everybody. No exceptions
> dress up in full towelhead gear. Snuck into the gym without paying.

I'm too old to bother learning new tricks, just coming here sometimes is "Edgy" enough for me.
Before you wonder, my kids showed me this site, it can be funny and I find the odd link I'd probably never run across otherwise so I drop in sometimes at night when I'm bored.
>be me
>be in an all boys highschool for rich kids
>last day senior year
>bring gun and tear gas grenade
>shot CCTV cameras in the hallway of prefect of discipline
>hear panicking from the offices
>toss tear gas grenade in
>go in wearing gas mask and stole his symbolic clipboard used to write of students violation reports, rumoured to be 35 yearsold
>was 9 years ago
>Bible and all
You must be pretty old to have gotten a Bible onto a public high school campus.
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>I'm too old to bother learning new tricks, just coming here sometimes is "Edgy" enough for me.
PLease allah more of this

yes, kepp going, Bomb-it Bombai
Yes, do it faggot!!!

last time i read this copypasta the other dude tried to put "you" in a headlock and you punched him in the dick.
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> made the call to set off the bombs
> people gagging
> the generator was tipped
> pinkish brownish shit fell out and covered the crowd.
> scream "ALLAH" as I tip the shit
> drop the banner
> make a run for it
> fingers point towards me,
> during interview, I cried for the libtards to save me
> some teacher who liked me said that it was probably some other kids who did it.
> nobody ratted no one out.
> when I visited the gym the next day, greenish stain all over the court.

Smell stayed there no matter how many times they tried to clean it.

Allahu Akbar
>freshman year shop class
>short fat kid with glasses
>target aquired
>this kid is quiet as fuck
>try talking to him
>he ignores me
>insult and prod him in front of other students
>he punches me in the face in front of the entire class
>weak punch didn't even jar me
>he scared as fuck

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0/10 bait attempt
LoL back then I didn't get layed at all, I was anti social. Even nowadays I don't get layed much...
You thank we are all the same person.
OMG when you sage a thread your ID becomes Heaven.
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And up yours too, lol
Never even looked for that place, one bin full of mad kids and deviants is enough for me
Lol you just made youself sound stupid


>whole class laughs at him for failing to stand up for himself properly
>class ends
>me and him alone in room
>hes so fat he gets stuck in the desks
>i flip him and the desk on its back
>he's fat stuck
>water balloon limbs flailing everywhere
>put my knee on his throat
>he has the eyes of a pig at the slaughterhouse
>gym coach standing at the door
>"what's going on in here?!"
>"he fell"
>flee the scene

and i never faced a single consequence for my actions... the end
>Be me
>Have a small circle of friends
>School has swimming pool for athletic pricks
>We decide to prank them
>We bought a king sized mattress
>Heavy as fuck, but enough people were available to carry it
>At night we drive to our school
>Unload mattress into swimming pool
>The next day the principle is fucking pissed
>Asks everyone through loud-speak for evidence to whoever threw a fucking mattress in the pool
>Proceeds to ramble about how fucking expensive it was to hire machinery that could life the fucking thing
>It took a crane to get out
the fact that you walked out of the fucking school has me laughing so hard for some reason. Like you were so done with that bullshit you just walked out.

my fucking sides
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>go to computer classroom
>set every wallpaper to Geert Wilders
>open up some windows so you cant see the wallpaper
>see sandniggers rage
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needs more details
A "friend" (read: new kid who started hanging around my group of friends that everyone liked but me) and I got into a disagreement and he took a swing at me. I dodged it and tackled him down to the floor after slamming him up against the wall. Started pressing my arm against his throat with all my weight and i'm fairly certain if I hadn't regained my composure I would of held it there. He brushed it off and we got along better after that but I don't think he realized that there was a brief moment where I had every intention of killing him and would of if I didn't think about what was going on.
I lost sleep over that for a while.
>walking to seat in cafeteria
>320 fat fuck eating a small portion of fish
> walk up to him
>"you like those don't you"
>look into his eyes for 2 seconds
>i sit down at my table
>hes gone
>he left school early that day
Do you think they believed you?
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