Tell me the darkest,most offensive,most fucked up joke you know.
>How do you starve a black guy?
>You hide his food stamps in his work boots
What's the difference between your mom and your mom?
Q: what do you call a bunch of white guys running down a hill?
Q: what do you call a bunch of niggers running down the hill?
Q: What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down the hill?
A: target practice for the prison guards
None of these "offensive" are ever funny... At all. And not in some moral "omg so offensive" way either. They just fucking suck ass. Everyone tries too hard to be edgy and they forget the goddamn "joke" part.
The killer and his child soon-to-be victim are walking through the woods at night. The wind is howling, the trees are creaking, and the racing clouds cover and uncover the moon, creating spectral shapes that appear and fade. The child nervously looks up at the killer and says, "Hey mister, it's scary out here!". The killer replies, "YOU think YOU'RE scared! How do you think I feel? I have to walk out of here alone!"
You're blind, he's clearly drinking 100% concentrated orange jews.
> What's the difference between a baby and an apple?
> I don't have sex with the apple before I eat it.
what does woman eat?
what is black mans favourite job?
is not job!!
what in america is huge?
what makes not noise and woman has cry??
who has not potato in one week?
Q:What's the difference between a Taliban training camp and a Pakistani elementary school?
A:Don't ask me-- I just fly the drone!
Showing my age:
Q:What's wrinkled and smells like Ginger?
A:Fred Astaire's face.
No you fucking idiot the spanish founded america learn 2 geography you shit pusher
so the bad thing about black people is their skin shade? ok
hair first means the eyes would be gone pretty fast dumbshit, do you cum in two seconds?
you must be a seriously lazy low-IQ fat fuck if you think putting a diaper on is 'hard'
oh yeah that's funny because the plane that hit the pentagon totally obliterated one side of it. oh wait, no it didn't.
god you guys are retarded fags
A man enters a pharmacy and asks for birth control pills for his wife and his 7 year-old daughter.
The pharmacist is a little shocked and asks, “Your 7 year-old daughter is sexually active?”
“No,” replies the man, “she just sort of lays there and cries.”
how many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
>depends on how hard you throw them
whats green and crawls up your leg?
> a homesick abortion
why were so many soldiers killed in vietnam?
>everytime someone shouted "get down" they started to dance
what do you get when you chainsaw a baby in half?
how many jews fit in a car?
>5 in the seats and 20 in the ashtray
what do black women call a pregnancy?
>a work accident
whats the difference between a baby and a fridge?
>cant fuck a fridge
what does a black man have after sex?
what's green, slimy, and smells like bacon?
>Kermit the Frog's finger
what do you call a black woman who has had eight abortions?
what's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
oh shit I trolled you, suck it faggot
>spain is in europe
>knew that the whole time
>wanted to make you frenchies angry cause you think you're all the smartest faggots
>when really you're all retards who have no idea how to win wars
Did you guys hear about Paul Walker's death?
It was... all over the radio.
A guy came to my house asking if I would like to help out with the tsunami in Japan.
I said, "I would, but my hose only reaches the end of the driveway!"
What did the Jewish mother say after her daughter admitted to having an affair?
"Who catered it?"
What do you call an Asian man with long fingers?
What is the difference between black guys and white guys on Halloween?
Black guys buy pumpkins. White guys ARE bi and pump their kin.
I bet you deny the holocaust too
TRU. Eurofag here. All of us we fucking hate french faggots even more than murrifags. Frenchies are pussies who surrender at first sight of trouble. Collaborative scums, and retards speaking faggiest language in the world. Fuck frenchies!
How do you make a baby cry twice?
Wipe your bloody dick on his teddy bear
How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her?
Left the plunger in the toilet
How does the Navy use niggers?
They debone them and wear them as wetsuits.
What's the hardest thing about seeing children get hit by a car?
What's the best thing about fucking twenty two year olds?
>There's twenty of them.
Necrophillia is great until some rotten cunt splits on you.
I think we've found our resident 'Murican here.
What do you call a 4th grader with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
Why did they invent white chocolate?
So little black kids can get messy too.
How long does it take a black woman to take a shit?
A nigger walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender goes: "wow, where'd you get that thing?" The parrot replies: "Africa, there's tons of them there."
How was breakdancing invented?
Niggers trying to steal hubcaps off moving vehicles.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.
My variant is "I don't ejaculate on an apple before I eat it". It adds some extra spice.
"Have you ever tried Somalian food?"
"Neither have Somalians"
Here, have a joke told to Ryan Gosling by Michelle Williams
"What do you call a dead puppy"
"You can call it whatever you want, it still won't come to you."
So a man was driving down the highway early one morning. It was a seldom used road in the countryside. Off in the distance he sees what appears to be a car accident. As he gets closer he notices it is indeed a horrible accident. A car is smashed into a tree with smoke and broken glass everywhere. He quickly gets out of his car to inspect the wreckage and to see if anyone is alive. To his horror he sees that the driver's face is completely impaled by a branch, blood and brain matter is everywhere. The passenger seat is completely crushed and whoever was sitting there is mangled beyond any recognition. As the man looks on in shock he hears crying coming from the backseat. A little girl scratched and bruised is curled up sobbing. He manages to get the door open and pulls her out of the smoking wreck a few yards to safety. Aside from her mild injuries she is miraculously alright.
"Tell me happened sweetie!" Says the man, trying to calm the hysterical child.
She sobs. "Daddy was driving, and a deer jumped into the road! Daddy tried to swerve away, Mommy was screaming. Now they're DEAD!" She whales.
The man unzips his pants and says, "Wow, Today just ain't your day."
This. This is it.
How do you babysit black babies?
>attach them to the ceiling by their lips.
How do you get them down?
>break the suction.
When white babies go to heaven what are they called?
When black babies go to heaven what are they called?
>kid runs into kitchen yelling "MOM MOM GRANNY'S PLAYING WITH HER SHRIMP IN THE LIVING ROOM!"
>Mom follows kid into living room, finds granny furiously fingering herself
>mom sighs: "son, that isn't her 'shrimp'. It's called her vagina"
>kid: "but it sure tasted like shrimp!"
>THIS IS NOW A /b/ THREAD. POST RANDOM STUFF!
mfw the United States would not have existed without French military support against the unbeaten Empire on which the sun never set.
Forgive me padre for I have sinned.
What do Ethiopians do at night?
A bunch of window blinds got dropped of to ethiopia, They used them as hammocks
whats the best part of getting head from an Ethiopian chick?
>You know she will always swallow
lel mad french faggots
>go have some cheese and wine
I worked with a dude that used to pull a joke.
Whenever anyone mentioned the nazis or he used to say with a super-straight, sad face:
>My grand father died in a concentration camp.
To which most often the reply is one of compassion. For instance:
>Oh, i am so sorry Anon
And his reply to this would be:
>Yeah, he fell tripped and fell off his watch tower.
That waas meant to say "The nazis or the holocaust"