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ITT: Fucked up shit you've done
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ITT: Fucked up shit you've done

>Bought a mouse
>Named him 'Nigger'
>Bought him some white mouse bitches to fuck a month later
>One was a bitch
>She made this awful shrieking sound at the other mice and would bite them when they came near

>Two hours after I introduced them
>Hear shrieking and scuffling
>The cunt was biting the shit out of the other female and drawing blood
>Reached in to break it up
>Cunt bit me and ran off
>Started attacking Nigger
>Fuck no
>Pull her away
>Cunt starts going ham on my hand
>She won't loosen her jaws and let go
>Take my hand out of the cage and smash it into the table forcefully
>Broke her ribcage
>Cunt is still shrieking and biting the shit out of my hand
>Pick her up by the tail and smack her from side to side on the table
>Throw her off of me into the cage
>Cunt lands in food bowl, terribly shrieking out her last few breaths while succumbing to her massive internal injuries
>Died in about 4 seconds
>Her body was floppy as shit; it felt like all her bones were broken
>Told my roommate that Nigger did it when he got back.
>Was holding cat
>Fucker decided to scratch me
>I ain't no bitch you picked a fight and we going blow for blow
>So I start punching the cat over and over again while holding onto it and its scratching the fuck out of me
>Eventually that cunt learned
As shitty as I feel about murdering that mouse... why do tiny ass animals think it's a good idea to pick fights with humans? Are they really that fucking stupid? That would be like if I decided to go poke an elephant with a sharp stick.
out of fear probably
Fight or flight
Then those faggots should have flown instead of trying to be like Erin from Attack on Titan
most females do it
its not fucked up but on the topic of animal fights what i did when i was young i got shit loads of ants from one colony then put them all on another ants nest then they start attacking eachother then you just watch this big ant war it was fuckin sick
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>be me
>maybe 8-10yrs old
>catch frog in pond
>get a piece of wood
>nail and hammer too
>nail frogs hands to board
>open frogs mouth
>insert firework

Typical damage was blowing off jaw and ripping from arms out of sockets.

Mfw when I remember doing this shit when I was little
That sounds cool as shit
Should have claimed that Nigger raped her to death
Haha I did the same exact shit as a kid
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>be me
>around 10 years old
>hanging out with my best friend at the time, he also lived across the street from me
>he invites me to come to his cabin at the lake
>get to lake, we're bored
>find a huge ant hill of harmless black ant bros
>suddenly I have a great idea
>go to my moms car, push in the in car cigarette lighter to heat it up
>take it out, start dropping ants one by one onto the burning hot cigarette lighting surface
>we watch as they slowly melt/burn to death in what is probably extreme painful agony

It's been probably a decade since I did that and I still hate myself for it. Something about the way the ants would try to walk and their little legs would begin to burn bothers me so much. I regret doing it everyday.

Pic related is what we used.
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You feel bad for burning ants?
Completely destroyed a camp for blind kids. Stopped by the fund raiser they held to repair the damage. Don't believe me? Fuck you.
I don't think you should feel that terrible about it. Ants don't really experience pain, and you were only 10.
Stolen about 5 pairs of headphones and $50 dollars in cash from other students living on my floor.

In my defense, they're mostly fucking pricks.
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>be a 5yo
>semi tard kid pisses on the hot street to impress some girls walking by
>my chance, no hesitation
>drink a mouth full of the salty, warm piss right of the street
>mfw girls are not impressed

The shame is still there
I would, ants are bros. Despite a single unit being a compete retarded korean baby, as a grout they are a pretty smart hive, and probably the closest thing to a civilization animal world (Except humans of course, in case some fedora goes 'humens are enimels too' on me).
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Omg top kek
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Fuck it, I'll let it all out.

Molested my cousin a few years back while she was sleeping. Nearly fucked my friend's ~10 year old sister. Made out extensively with my aunt.

I'm also incredibly opportunistic about theft in general. I literally get sexually aroused while doing it. The typical scenario is I'll hide in a building till it's closed or sneak into a locked one, wander around checking for locked doors, stealing shit I find, and jacking off in secluded spots. I've gone through that procedure at least 30 times in random schools, churches, and administration buildings.

Somehow I still think I'm a good person.
that is bad, but as long as you learned not to do it again, its all good
Ants are pretty neat, but as you mentioned, individual ants are pretty dispensable. Ants willingly die for the colony all the time, and don't seem to give too much of a shit about dying.
>I was a 6 year old little man
>Playing Legend of Zelda OoT
>Really need a shit
>Keep playing because a Chicken is mugging me off
>Want to make nuggets out of that little faggot
>Need to shit intensifies
>Finally catch chicken and proceed to jump of walls like the autist I was.
>Flying around while my sphincter trembles in agony
>Go into the graveyard
>Poe appears
>I jump and fill my briefs with shit
>Literally a full log
>Canadian lumberjacks got nothing on me
>I put the cack in "Cack"ariko village
>Just sit there and keep playing because I wanted to return to the village and catch another chicken.

I'm not proud
I would collect ants and a spider in a pot and see what would happen
Never knew ants were that good
Ants lack nociceptors and conscious awareness. Killing them is completely morally neutral.
i had a similar expierience.

>be in friends room playin vidja
>friend leaves to get drink
> i notice friends cat is in window
>i pet the cat and coo softly at it
>bitch scratches my face
>push the cat through the window.
>cat falls two stories into cement patio
>tell friend cat jumped out of the window after someting
>friend says "Goddamnit, not again."
>turns out the cat had a few broken bones

no remorse. epic win. Fucker scratched me when i was just tryin to be friends. fuck that cat.
I can only hope some /k/ommando blows your head off with a nugget while you attempt to cover his anime-festooned masturbation basement
with your seed.
So... did you just sit in your own shit for the rest of the day?
Yeah, but it's still a waste of a good ant. Even if it cannot be considered a worthy individual, it's still a resource.
talked my fuckbuddy into getting an abortion because she was a feminist jew abortion supporter

She isn't now.
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Faggot, no harm no foul.
Nah I was there for about another 10 mins or so before my mum came into the room and told me to stop
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Oh yea, also have a collection of about 15 pairs of panties and 3 bras stolen from the communal laundry room. On two occasions I grabbed panties out of the dryer and came inside them before throwing em back in. Maybe it's not so fucked up though since I'd imagine it's pretty common. At least, the stealing part.
They actually are that stupid, they don't have the mental capacity to override any terrified reaction they have to being handled by humans (which are pretty freaky looking beings in all actuality) so it should be left up to you to not escalate the violence since you're the only one who can think in the situation.

That being said I smack my cat everytime she bites or scratches me, that fucker
Not green texting cuz phone.
I was twelve and I lived right by the water so one day I was bored and saw a bunch of fiddler crabs on the beach, I pretended they are people and it was the apocalypse and started throwing rocks at least the size of soft balls at them and watched them scurry away. Immediately cross when I was done. Still feel kinda bad but whatever, I was a kid. Also killed ants by drowning/burning/pouring gasoline or other chemicals on them and their hills. And one time my brother shot frogs with a BB gun and I made him stop
>be a dwarf
>find my treacherous girlfriend sleeping with my father like the whore she is
>strangle her to death
>shoot my dad to death with a crossbow while he's on the toilet
>turns out he doesn't actually shit gold

Happy father's day.
it's easy to get a cat not to scratch you.

don't play with your hands. If you play with your hands with your cat (rough housing, not petting) it will think your hands/body are fair game and a toy.

It's about training a pet, not being retarded. Cats gonna cat, you sound like a shitty owner.

My cat has never scratched me, once, because it plays with toys not my hands. It tried a few weeks when it was a kitten, and kept getting BTFO by my old super soaker.
termites, chimps, gorillas, dolphins, bees
I only use toys to play with my cat, I think it just gets overstimulated because I'll be absentmindedly petting the shit out of it and it'll flip over and scratch at me

Also didn't have the chance to raise this cat from birth, found it as a fully grown adult
it is being over stimulated then bro.

don't over stimulate your cat. imagine petting them as putting energy into their little furry bodies. Eventually there's too much, and they have to zoom around.
Which is normally hilarious

Except when it decides to become Attack Cat Alpha instead of whupping the shit out of it's catnip mice
>be 10
>Helping maintain front yard with mom
>eventually started to wrap up
>walk back to garage
>hear extremely loud sound coming from the AC unit fan next to the garage door (the unit was kinda like a generator with a horizontal fan on the top of it, with a small grating protecting it)
>think "wtf?", 10 yo edition
>check it out of curiosity
>stare in wide eye'd silence
>in between the grating, a lizard had fallen through, but got stuck because its head was too big
>watch it squirm a bit as it hung with only half of its body left from the fan cutting it up
>had to pull that shit out myself
>still secretly hate fans to this day
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>12 yr old on summer vacation
> go to a lake
>i found a frog
>i had nails and a hammer
>i took two sticks
>i took the frog
>i put the sticks in the shape of a crucifix
>i nail the frog to the crucifix
>he died and i buried him
>I put 5 nails where he was buried and wrap him up in a paper towel
>3 hours later i come back to dig up the frog
>I dig up the burial site but the frog is nowhere to be found
>1 hour later i saw a similar looking frog down by the lake with 12 other frogs
As long as it wasn't massively injured, kek
It just seems like a behavior that would be strongly selected against. Surely the mouse who doesn't piss off the big animal will escape to reproduce more often than the mouse who gets scared and makes it mad.
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>I was camping by the ocean when I was 8ish.
>Me and the homies climb down the cliff side to the wade pools.
>catch an absolute fucking shitload of crabs
>atleast 60
>now we must have a tourney
>set up arena and throw them in with eachother
>if they don't fight then we push them into eachother until one breaks
>winners set aside
>they are later thrown into the fire as an offering to the gods
>hear the little crab screams
>continue throwing them in and make fun of those faggots for screaming as they get burnt alive

And I do not feel bad at all.
One of my better finds from the building raids:

>be me, 16
>at a debate tournament
>walking through the abandoned half of the school
>access the gym through the locker room connected to a bathroom
>enter the coach's office and search his desk
>find an envelope labeled "field trip money" with $400 dollars inside
>fucking book it out of that area
>see 3 cops entering the building across the hall on my way out

Most fucking adrenaline I've ever felt.
>Bought him some white mouse bitches to fuck a month later

Mice are very territorial. All those females wanted each other's blood.

I'd condemn you for animal abuse, but my dumb ass did the same thing when I was a kid.

Honestly, I don't think pets are a good idea. Our ancestors kept animals for work, not play. They weren't concerned for the animals beyond keeping a tool in working order.

For modern people to say they love animals, and then keep them locked up in tiny rooms is hypocritical. If you really loved an animal, you'd let it take charge of it's own life, and only interact with it to feed it and give it a place to sleep.
I think whatever big animal is bothering with a mouse is planning to eat it. It's in the mouse's best interest to put up whatever struggle it can (if it's not able to run away) rather than assume the animal's just playing and won't attack unless it gets pissed off.
Some animals don't mind being "locked up in tiny rooms" though. At a certain point, I think an enclosure can be well-made enough that the mouse can't tell a meaningful difference between it and the outside world. Obviously it's not right to keep a siberian husky locked in a cage, but some pets really don't mind.
I have three German Shepherds, I love them to death and they are very protective of me. I've been broken into once and my dogs ripped a shoe off of one of the burgulars. Haven't been broken into since.

I can't bring girls home either, dogs go ape shit. So I have to like, take a sock the girl wore the day before and place it around the house so the dogs get use to it
>be me
>be 12-13
>at my cottage with friend
>decide to introduce him to hot chick (she has cottage on same island)
>we get there and bitch wasn't there
>decide to snoop around in her shed where she sleeps
>find pellet gun
>we take that shit back to my cottage
>tell my dad is was laying on the road
>he believes us
>start shooting pop cans
>get bored so we start looking for defenseless animals to shoot
>see flock of ducks on shore in front of my cottage
>annoying fuckers
>start shooting at them
>end up chasing them down the island shooting them
>in front of random family's cottage shoot
>fucking head shot
>bird flapping in water and making gut wrenching noises
>that family was in their cottage the whole time
>fucking run
>friend says he drop his shoes back at that family's cottage
>we go back and get caught
>friend starts crying like a fucking pussy
>that family start yelling and my dad comes on his ATV
>I told him what happened
>he doesn't give a fuck, he tells the family to fuck off
>we had to get the dead duck out of the water
>made it a hole it in the forest and dropped him in
>I sang "In the arms of an angel" for lels
>friend goes to therapy
>I have no ragrets not one that was fun
> 10/10

Never talked to my buddy again, he's weak
>be 4-5
>go to park with mum and dad
>walking through shaded woody area
>a bunch of crows just minding their own business
>chase this one crow
>see these weird tree berries (kumquats? idfk)
>grab handful of berries and chuck 'em at poor little birds
>go home and relay events to my brother
>he scolds me for throwing shit at birds
>sorry birds :^(
That makes the assumption that humans are mice's sole predators, which obviously isn't true.
They get eaten and shit outside, so it's not like being a pet doesn't have its benefits. Besides, the domesticated breeds of mice that are around would be utterly fucked if they were released in the wild.
I also don't see how the relationship humans have with cats and dogs aren't entirely beneficial to both parties. Dogs have much better senses of smell and hearing, and can alert us to predators or our prey during a hunt before we may have noticed them otherwise.
Cats are believed to have domesticated themselves, sticking around grain stores to feast on the rodents that showed up to eat it. We didn't even initiate their domestication.

Also, female mice aren't usually nearly as territorial as the males, and she was introduced to the male's territory. I would have expected the male to start attacking her. Compared to all the other mice I've seen (I breed them now), the cunt was exceptionally violent. I should have controlled myself and separated the mice without freaking out and killing her, but I don't think it was an exceptional risk to introduce the mice.
LMFAO!!! xD I want a rat to smash around now ahahahaha.
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Lived in a canyon for a year or two, so we had a shitload of lizards.

I'd catch them and kill them several times a day.

>Cut off their limbs with dull pocketknife
>Leave amputees on anthills after pissing ants off
>Drown amputees
>Buried them
>Ran some over headfirst with my bike
>Shot them with airsoft gun
>Kept as pets and starved them
>Threw them as hard as I could at walls or into the distance.
>Gouge their eyes out
>impale through the stomach

Found a rat once, threw it into a massive pile of stick that a rattlesnake liked to chill in. Saw a skull outside the pile weeks later, so I assume something else got it.

>mfw I want to kick a dog to death now
it wasn't much of a cat if it failed to land anyways

Moral of the story, don't raise vermin.

>be me
>out hiking
>find nest full of baby birds
>cook and eat most of them
>mother returns
>could tell she wasn't happy
Confusion resolved.
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le edgy kid and his emoticones on a imageboard
>last week
>DL northlane torrents
>I didn't seed

>Some animals don't mind being "locked up in tiny rooms" though

I've been around cockatiels my whole life. One of the things they love to do is open the doors on their cages, and escape.

Maybe it's different because they're birds, but I don't think anything more advanced then a fish likes being locked up.


Back when I had dogs, I moved from a ranch where I could take them on multiple long walks every day to a tiny house where they were forced to shit in a garage.

It broke my heart, because I knew exactly how they felt. I chaffed against being put into a tiny room with nowhere to go.

I'm not going to condemn anyone, but I'm never getting dogs again until I own property - I had to leave the ranch because my parents were renting, and the landlord sold the property we lived on to developers.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
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Point proven?

Hah, my next door neighbor has 3 german sheps too. We walk them round town and everyones eyes widen like 'Please don't fuck with us'
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>be 22
>gf buys hamster after me telling her i wouldnt take care of it
>she lets it live in my house
>she never cleans/takes care of it
>i tell her she needs to do her part or get rid of it
>weeks go by she still does nothing
>one day, we have argument over the phone
>hamster gets brought up
>she seems to think i wanted it too
>i told her i hated the little ball of fur
>microwave and send pictures over phone
>gf becomes ex gf

>friend has pet rat when i was 15
>i put pet rat in sock
>spin rat about in sock, find it hilarious
>keep spinning
>take it out, watch it stumble
>back in sock
>Smash it off table
>rat no more
>laugh and apologize, saying it was accident

>be very young
>find baby birds nest
>no momma bird
>garden shears
>cut off baby birds heads one by one
>no one found out

>walking dog
>find hedgehog
>superkick hedgehog into air
>catch it midair with another kick
>hedgehog smashes into wall
>doesnt die instantly, watch it die
>smoke while watching it's gasping last breaths

>had pet snake
>bought live mice
>will it blend.jpg
>record on webcam
>/b/ back then watched online
>mfw gif exists f me blending a mouse
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yeah... summer time ....

>They get eaten and shit outside, so it's not like being a pet doesn't have its benefits

The Hindus have temples where they feed rats, but they don't control the rats' movement.

Many people feed birds and other animals without catching them and sticking them in cages.

Again, I'm not pure; when I was a kid, I caught all sorts of things and stuck them in fish tanks. My parents always made me return them, because what I was doing was stupid.

>Besides, the domesticated breeds of mice that are around would be utterly fucked if they were released in the wild

Degrading a living being to the point where it can't survive without your help isn't love. The fact that they couldn't survive without us simply highlights how selfish most pet-keeping is. We value novelty in our pets more then power.

And why? Because if they were strong enough to question us, they wouldn't be pets. They'd have escaped, and would be leading their own self-directive lifes.

Am I the only one who's had an animal run away? What do you think motivates such behavior?

>I also don't see how the relationship humans have with cats and dogs aren't entirely beneficial to both parties

You can feed and care for an animal without locking it up.

>Dogs have much better senses of smell and hearing, and can alert us to predators or our prey during a hunt before we may have noticed them otherwise

We stole them from the wild because we saw them as tools. This in and of itself is morally and logically consistent - dog eat dog.

However, if you choose to see other animals as beings worthy of concern, then it becomes as indefensible as stealing children.

>Cats are believed to have domesticated themselves, sticking around grain stores to feast on the rodents that showed up to eat it. We didn't even initiate their domestication

There was a point in time when humans killed cats for fun. A minority still do.

There's nothing wrong with living with animals. Like you say, the cats came to us. But that's not a reason to lock them up; every cat I've ever had has wanted to stay outside unless they were hungry or cold.

And that's real love; feeding and playing with them when they come to you, and letting them leave when they want to. And they always come back if you're really an asset to them.

>Also, female mice aren't usually nearly as territorial as the males

I just looked it up, and I was wrong. Sorry. I was basing my statement off of three Gerbils I kept - clearly they aren't as similar as I thought.
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As fucked up as blending a mouse is, there are probably far worse ways to die. It went from mouse to soup in less than a second.

And then you tried feeding it to your dog, right? I remember that livestream. Shit was cash.

I think you tasted it too.
>be me age 7
>have a cat
>cat always catching mice/voles alive
>one day i'm home alone
>see cat with live rodent in it's mouth
>walk outside and over to the cat
>cat drops it
>it's in shock and is breathing heavily but not moving
>i pick up a sharp looking stick and impale the rodent to the ground
>walk back into house
>pick up knife and cut it open autopsy style
marvel at it's insides at it dies
>dispose of rodent before parents get back
Takes a second and as soon as your head is gone it's over.

Leaves behind a gorey mess but I doubt there's much pain involved.
please tell me your amerifat so i don't have to worry about future serial killers where i come from
you acted pretty reasonably. hardly worth noting.

it coulda got more violent. if it bites, end its life.

trust me, we're global
This is already on Imgur/Reddit

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no no you amerifat

colour, nuclear, tescos aldi, lidl, asda is part of the walmart family, fucking paki shops
>14 years old
>sister on the trampoline in the garden
>ive got the air rifle out
>she's an aspiring veterinarian
>see magpie land in my tree next to trampoline
>get my first ever kill
>drops from tree onto trampoline
>she goes hysterical
>fucked is still alive and flapping
>go over and its gargling on its own blood
>didnt have another bullet for air rifle
>grab shovel
>beat the living shit out of this magpie drowning on its own blood
>be me age 10
>one day cat catches baby rabbit
>parents tell me to take it to the back of the garden to let it get away from the cat
>it's in shock (same as the mouse/vole)
>put it down
>stamp on its back legs
>squealing like a motherfucker while trying to drag itself away
>kick it about a bit
>squealing slowly gets quieter
>kick it into the hedge so its body is hidden

I did some other shit with animals my cat brought home or ones that I found whilst walking around outside. I stole a penknife from my friends dads shed when I stayed around his one night and I would gut them/behead them/remove limbs etc. I don't regret any of it.
Actually it would be like you picking a fight with an alien, an elephant wouldn't be that hard for a human to kill
non of them have a kind of agriculture like ants or humans
I've got more to bump the thread with if anyone wants
Post 'em
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>gif related
What animal is he fucking?
>be walking with friends and some QT's
>I'm trying to fuck one of them
>quiet path and kinda awkward silence
>see crow on road
>sprint towards it
>just as I get to it, it starts flying away
>kick it as hard as i can
>it makes the CAAWWWW CAAWWW noise as its mid air
>smashed into a tree and instantly goes silent
>2/3 girls burst into tears
>one(the one i was trying to fuck) tried to attack me calling me a piece of shit
>I can't stop laughing the entire time because of the mid air noises
aligator you zoologist
>smoking weed with friends
>mom walks in
>tell her its just herbal tobacco
>shes cool with me smoking cigs
>she comes over and says "well i hope you dont mind me having some"
>think she's bluffing, let it continue
>takes one drag
>goes to bed(4pm)
>doesn't wake up till next day
then u realize ur mom is a corpse and you rape it finishing on it's cold boobs
What? Why? Autism?
We couldn't survive without the colonies of bacteria that live inside of us. How degraded do you feel as a result? How selfish of those bacteria! Organisms evolve in symbiosis all the time.

>We stole them from the wild because we saw them as tools.
I'm not sure why you perceive humans as outside of 'the wild'. Humans fucking with their environment and the animals around them is completely natural; it's simply what we've evolved to do. However, I won't stoop to your level and say that it's a good thing that we fuck with everything because it's natural. Not that it matters, because your view of how domestication occurred is ass-backwards anyway. Wolves most likely approached human settlements first to scavenge food, and later for shelter once the humans had grown tolerant of them. Humans enjoyed the extra protection and hunting help the dogs provided, but we didn't initiate the relationship. By no means did we 'steal' them.
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>14 years old
>Cousin is best friend
>Go to his house, his parents are fucking strict
>He's not a very good student
>Father is mad about that
>Playing ps2 fifa and chilling when we hear the door
>Cousin is all like italian "Ay yo pops pizza mozzareli fockin' mullies it was a surprisa testa ferrari"
>Takes his ps2 out of the plug and takes it with him
>Cousin is excorcised by this point and goes mental
>15 minutes of fighting he comes back
>After 2 mins of talking i convince him that i go take the ps2 so we can continue
>Do it anyway
>Bring ps2
>We continue
>15 mins later father is here again
>"Ayy lmao annon (Me) got it back"
>"Not my fault, he told me where you hide it and told me go get it"
>beat the crap out of that kid
The poster didn't say it didn't land on its feet. A two story fall even when landing on feet could break bones.
Just cause cats land on their feet, doesn't mean they fucking hover down to the ground, you moron
I wish I believed you were trolling but I know you're cancer. There are just to many of you faggots.
k theres so much fucking bullshit in that little post I dont even know where to being, but here goes:

1. top of my class in the navy seals- I dont even think you graduated highschool.
2. Numerous secret raids on al quaeda- So what did bin ladens cock taste like?
3. 300 confirmed kills- Check my previous statement. Thats a lot of cocks.
4. Gorilla warfare? Its guerilla warfare you stupid fucking mouth breather.
5. Secret network of spies- I'll wait on my porch with a shotgun and a baseball bat for you and your boyfriends. Come at me bro.
6. The shit about the storm- yeah thats so fucking scary Im laughing. you should be a poet or something, fag.
7. I can kill you in over 700 ways. I dont care how many sex toys and buttplugs you have, Im not interested.
8. And thats just with my bare hands- If your mind is that set on getting me, you can use your mouth too.
9. Access to the arsenal of the marine corps- I thought you said you were a seal.

All in all, youre a fucking moron. Please dont besmirch the name of the Unites states armed forces by pretending to be one of them. Good day, faggot.
>be 10-ish
>with best friend playing with toy lightsabers
>"hey anon what should we do?"
>made a death camp for cinnabar moth caterpillars
>executed those that fled the stockade perimeter with my lightsaber.

still feel pretty bad, they could have been free. I enslaved and killed them mercilessly.

captcha "cruel"
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>was a young man playing Scalectrix with my sister
>suddenly a wild what we later found out to be a stink beetle crosses the track.
>Dark Curiosity that now im all so familiar with now creeps in for the first time.
>Drive my Black BMW scalectix car up to the unsuspecting creature.
>Lift up the back wheels of the car... and Full Throttle!
>Lay the Ridiculously fast spinning tyre on the bug and applied pressure to keep it in place
>after a few seconds of wheelspin, The bugs head part gets shot off from its body.
>Stink begins to fester
>me and my sister leave the racetrack and never speak of it.

Mfw everyone i know thinks im an innocent guy and this is on the good side of the scale of the evil shit i've done... But all thats for another thread, and another day. Peace out Anons

Perfect music for this thread -
have a similar story

>in my families garden with friend after school
>we bought synthetic weed (blaze or so it said)
>roll join when suddenly mom appears
>she thought she knew what was up
>inspects the weed
>"no mom you see its legal you can buy it online and in stores"
>friend is like "its only for the taste" (shit looks fucking nasty and smells even worse though)
>"ohhhhh ok whatever nevermind"
>finish rolling, mom leaves, light it
>5 minutes pass, mom comes back around
>we are already zombified, unable to have any meaningful conversation that doesnt include how fucking stoned we are, let alone move
>mom doesnt notice until she tries it
>luckily she had the very last few hits with only tabacco (those nasty chemicals evaporate before halfway through the joint)
What the absolute fuck.
most fucked up of all, you're one crazy motherfucker
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Not really that fucked up, but one of my most embarrassing moments.

>Be 14
>Stupid middle school "cool" phase
>Friends and I say "nigga" in place of "dude" all the time
>Time for Six Flags field trip
>Fuck yeah, super excited
>Get there
>Huge ass line
>We're sharing the park with another ghetto school
>Other school is 95% black
>First in line behind them
>Out of habit say "Damn there's a lot of niggas here"
>mfw 20 kids in front hear me and turn around with an angry "What did you say?"
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my fucking sides.
Nice b8? Please tell me you're fucking with me
I fucking hate ants. The way the swarm all over you if you mistakenly step near a nest creeps me the fuck out. I am actually sitting on my toilet now, picking up ants and dropping them into my shit water. My house has an ant problem right now, originating from the bathroom, so there are plenty of victims.
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Not a mouse but a rat named Deku.
We took him and his brother in when our friend went into service a week later he killed his brother. ANYWAY
>I get a taser from my sister's place when she moved
>Not even a real taser more like shock gum than anything
>Deku, the rat, decides its time to attack our cat
>Bit her claw and would not let the fuck up
>So we decide to tase him
>Works like a charm
>Kitty is fine but is bleeding from her paws
>We invite our buddy Daaavaaahd over and we start drinking
>We tell him what happened to kitty
>He thinks it's time we kill the rat
>Continue drinking while thinking of ways to torture this piece of shit
>Duct tape him so he can't move
>Tase him some more
>Throw him in the sink
>Tase him while he's wet
>No visual results
>Smell of burnt hair
>Not working so we grab scrubbin bubbles and spray his face to shit
>Looks like a goddamned avalanche came over him
>He stop breathing
>It's over
>We rinse him off
>Fucker is resilient as all hell
>My roommate, Rydurr as we call him, decide it's time to put his kung fu skills to work
>Punch the little fucker off of our balcony into the pond below
>10/10 Solid contact
>Deku flies into the pond
>He's still not dead
>We then watched as he sinks into the water still ducttaped
>We assume the turtles got him because they eat birds from time to time
I still have a slight fear that he isn't really dead though. He's just plotting his revenge.....
TLDR: I'm moving houses soon

>We couldn't survive without the colonies of bacteria that live inside of us. How degraded do you feel as a result?

Not at all. Both me and those bacteria have the same interests; keep a certain sack of meat warm, fed, and watered.

Pets - as opposed to work animals - do nothing to maintain themselves. They don't work autonomously, of their own free will for their own benefit.

Our gut flora are partners. Pets are court-jesters.

>How selfish of those bacteria!

All action is selfish. Even altruism is caused by the presumption of reciprocation.

Me and my gut flora have the same goals.

>Organisms evolve in symbiosis all the time

Can you name another animal that captures other animals from the wild, sticks them in small rooms or even cages, and does nothing other then feed them and look at them once in a while?

Pets aren't symbiotes. If anything, we're parasites on domestic animals; if they became inconvenient, or we had nothing else to eat, we'd kill them all. Whole countries have in the past eliminated most of their domestic animal populations due to starvation.
but where do whores go
>none of my friends are home
>go out walking alone
>find what I think is dead rat
>look for anything to poke it with
>find a fairly big stick
>turns out it was giving birth
>beat the shit out of it
>can see inside all the baby rats
>stamp all over them
>hide remains
>2 days later go back and burn what's left including the maggots that got to it

>shit in a sink in school about two weeks back
>mfw only 2 people know it was me

>a year back kid shouts abuse at me whilst with his friends
>act cool walk away
>see him later so follow him home
>lives with his grandparents
>take a shit on doorstep
>grandma asleep in window
>bang on window to wake her up
>bitch nearly jumped out of her chair
>grandpa comes running with a stick
>slips in my shit and almost falls

>went back a week later and smashed the front window

I got loads more I'll keep posting
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>be 13-14
>walking with a friend by the local river
>two other kids walk past us
>kid is wearing my football teams rival shirt
>I'm wearing my teams shirt
>shouts something I didn't quite hear
>approach him and ask him
>says nothing
>grab his head and drive my knee into it
>his friend runs
>I'm still smashing his head off my knee
>he falls unconscious
>drag him down into some trees
>he comes back around
>friend holds him down while I piss on him
>ask him if he's gonna say anything again
>no response
>kick him in the head and leave
>Be 16
>Crows flew through window and took a shit on my fathers computer chair
>Father tells me to go out with BB-gun and find crows
>See crow under tree in shade
>Turns out not a crow
>Turns out beautiful bird
>Turns out BB-gun only powerful enough to wound
>Turns out not even 5 bullets and the bird is squeeling, bleeding and jumping around helplessly
>Get broom
>Fucking stab the bird to death with the other end of broom with downward motion
>Hear bones crack as I smash the neck of the beautiful bird
>Get trashbag
>Tell dad I popped a crow and dumped it in the trash
>Money get
it is a pasta within a pasta bro
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well atleast you faggots aknowdlegded how fucked up you are hope you all burn in hell :d
Lurk moar, faggot.
don't get me wrong, I don't post shit elsewhere but how is this worth posting it elsewhere? I don't see anything special about it
Says the one falling for this newfag copypasta.
Says the one using Heaven.
>Britfag confirmed
gr8 b8 m8
Sage goes in all the fields.
Alright, so you have convinced me that some forms of pet ownership, particularly the practice of confining animals and not giving them the freedom to roam their natural habitat, do not serve the needs of the other animal nearly as much they do the needs of the human.
I think that while these relationships don't serve the best interests of the pet, they're not quite as bad as I think you're making them out to be, and there are more imperative sources of animal suffering at the hands of humans that we should first deal with. As I'm sure you know, humans confine the animals we cultivate for meat into incredibly small spaces with abysmal living conditions for a couple years until we kill them in a painful, brutal fashion.
Regardless of the liberty that we rob from the animals we keep as pets, our keeping of them takes their chances of dying a horrific, painful death at the jaws of a predator or from an aggressive member of their own species from likely, to virtually none.
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> be 11
> watch dragon ball z
> hellyeah.jpg
> decide to be vegeta
> do everything as vegeta
> vegeta is hardcore coldblooded killer
> decide I have to kill to be real vegeta
> start looking for a victim
> neighbors' cat often sits on the balcony barrier
> decide to shoot it with nerf gun to make it fall (1st floor)
> the cat falls into the balcony
> decide I need to shoot it from inside the house to make it fall outside
> go to neighboors, casually say hello and enter their house with a nerf gun
> go to the balcony, neighbor is all wtfmate.html
> the fucking cat isn't on the barrier
> find the cat and pick it up, the neighbor still has the same confused face
> go to the balcony and throw the cat out
> the cat was okay but still got grounded
> mfw I picked up my nerf darts from the neighbor's balcony when he was on his way down to rescue his cat
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