Fast food stories I'll go first.
>be me working at subway during lunch rush
>urge to take a massive shit comes while there is a fucking line
>trying my best not to fart or let out any shit
>it gets worse
>stomach starts making weird noise while making a nigger a bmt sandwich
>literally have a turtle head while all of this is happening
>line finally dies off so I tell the shift manager I'm using the bathroom
>I fucking run to the bathroom while the shit is slowly sliding out
>finally get inside, yank my pants and underwear down and slam my ass on the toilet
>mfw when I arrive in time, explode, relax and it's a no-wipe
>best feeling ever
>be me working at chick-fil-a
>fatass customer comes in
>"Yeah, I'll take one bucket of extra crispy chicken with biscuits and a 2-liter root-beer"
>This isn't that kind of chicken store sir
>"oh, I thought this was KFC"
>working at subway thats fused with a truck stop
>deal with angry hillbilly semi-truck drivers every day
>one night im about to finish my shift
>pissed off guy with cowboy hat comes in
>"footlong BMT on italian"
>i start putting bacon on thinking he said BLT
>he slams the fucking counter
>"DID YOU NOT FUCKING HEAR WHAT I SAID?"
>hes grunting loudly almost about to scream
>nearby people try to calm him down
>starts punching the glass that seperates the food from the line
>threatening to kill me
>im scared shitless, almost to the point of crying
>he storms out in pure rage
fucking hated working there
>working at Roly Poly
>fax comes in for a delivery
>see in the additional comments "Please don't forget my sour cream like last time >:("
>hand man his bag with wrap and napkins
>he checks the bag
>"No sour cream?"
>hand him second bag
>he checks the bag
>48 sour cream packets
>working at Togo's Sandwich shop
>skinny as fuck, malnutritioned as fuck
>plus smoke cigarettes like a pack a day almost
>helping first customer of the day
>wake up on the floor
>not a dinosaur to be found
>tasting floor tiles and blood
>crowd gathered around me behind the counter
>"DON'T MOVE YOU ARE HAVING A SEIZURE."
>ambulance takes me away
>found it was just low blood sugar, not diabetic tho
>wasnt a seizure just temporary low blood sugar because I HAD NOT EATEN A COMPLETE MEAL IN 4 FUCKING DAYS
>and dehydrated as fuck
mfw some ambulance drivers were ordering food as i was getting taken away on a stretcher
>wake up in the AM
>taco bell breakfast
>order 2 am grilled tacos
>didnt check bag, went home
>received 2 am crunchwraps
>paid $2 for $7 worth of food
>still working at Roly Poly despite minimum wage and 30 minute commute each way
>full store due to Sunday special $5 12 inch wraps
>black dude walks in
>walks up to counter and sighs
>say "It's really coming down, huh?"
>he chuckles a bit
>realizes he's laughing ironically and laughs substantially harder
>I start laughing
>we're both losing our composure entirely over literally nothing
>2 full minutes of nonstop side splitting laughter
>finally get it together and give him a look that basically said "what were we even laughing about" and a shrug
>he doesn't know either
>finally take his order while every other customer in the store stares us down in a mix of anger and confusion
>take him his sandwich
>he starts to leave
>"Try to stay dry, man"
>nearly in tears laughing
>every single customer in the store staring daggers at the scene we're causing
>walk to the back laughing my ass off
>"Roly Poly, how may I help you?"
>"I need to speak to a manager, please."
>me - "How can I help you?"
>not a fucking manager
>she complains for like 10 minutes about how obnoxious one of our employees was the night before
>tell her I'll take care of it, and that it won't be a problem again
>laugh my ass off all over again
>be working at gas station
>we also serve food
>pretty darn good food for gas station
>people get our subs/pizzas alllll the time
>one day, dumbass redneck whitetrash cunt comes in
>gives me shit about every little thing
>then says in her raspy smoker voice
>"I wanna place a pizza order"
>"Gimme a large pizza with pepperoni and a lot of mushrooms"
>"How much is 'a lot'?"
>"Just gimme me a lot, dammit!"
>told her it would be 30 minutes for pizza
>would probably take about 10
>we pre make pepperoni pizzas for orders
>take one out
>put shit tons of mushrooms on it
>cover the entire fucking thing
>cant even see the cheese or pepperoni anymore
>fuck it, she wants extra
>puts even more on there
>there is no more mushroom than pizza
>this is no a mushroom with extra pizza
>put pizza in oven
>a couple minutes later
>pizzas out, bitch is back
>look bitch in the eyes and say "Pepperoni pizza with extra mushrooms"
>She hasn't come to our store again
>mfw this was months ago
did you not graduate high school?
mfw you can't get extra crispy, biscuits or rootbeer in Australian KFCs
he definitely has it worse, fucking hate dealing with niggers cause their fucking niggers when it comes to anything, they sit on corners and expect free handouts cause their ancestors were slaves
Biggest. Meatiest. Tastiest
Just get the fuck out before your newfaggotry becomes virulent and we have to put you down before we all become affected by it.
Oh, and just google "360 degrees and walk away" before you start posting your fucking mathematical diagrams all over 4chan.
>be land survey assistant
>working three person crew with another assistant and a female crew chief
>she's kinda homely and overweight
>she decides to have 7/11 hotdogs for lunch
>using ATVs, out in middle of a field a few hours later
>suddenly she says she's sick and needs to shit really bad, so badly that she can't drive ATV 100m to porta potty
>"I'm gonna have to figure something out right here"
>me and other assistant look at eachother not sure how to react
>not wanting any part of this we evacuate area leaving her there to do whatever nasty shit she has to do
>5min later she rides up on ATV
>"I gotta go... get something from the truck... I will be back"
>comes back from truck 10 minutes later
>is wearing different pants
That's the beauty of American capitalism.
not fast food, but during my Uni years this happened...
> working at a supermarket
> catch scabby drug fucked loser stealing vitamins, medicine, all the expensive shit
> ask for our shit back
> drug fucked loser pulls a knife and tells me to fuck off
> mfw 15 years old martial arts training
> slowly back away
> he follows, still threatening to kill me etc etc
> activate round house kick
> drop this drug fucked loser like a sack of shit
> he didn't even move
> police come and collect footage
> mfw he gets done for attempted armed robbery and i'm not even questioned because it was clearly self defense
protip: if I catch you stealing, I'll kick your ass.
>worked at tiny tim mini doughnuts
>had worked for them selling doughnuts at football games
>they ask if I'd like to travel with them between semesters
>find out that they have an entire huge concession they do in some places, way more then doughnuts
>they put me on this concession in the middle of the park downtown on Klondyke parade day ( what passes for a big event in edmonton)
>we're the only food concession
>chicken wings donairs churros, all kinds of shit
>had no idea how to make anything
>was not even a list of prices inside, I had to walk outside the tent to see prices
>thousands of people in line for lunchtime
>they say "break a leg" and FUCKING LEAVE ME THERE ALONE
>saying fuck it and quitting never even occurred to me (I'm just not like that)
>extremely stressful trying to figure out everything on the fly
>most people very polite and understanding and even helped me with advice
>one lady starts screaming at me calling me a retard for being slow with the first fucking donair I've made/seen in my life
>I notice there are a bunch of drunk chug bitches in line behind her
>I shout WE DON'T APPRECIATE THAT KIND OF LANGUAGE ABOUT NATIVES AT TINY TIM'S MINI DOUGHNUTS
>I point at one of them
>"I am sure she's a perfectly nice lady"
>of course she isn't
>takes care of bitch who was running her mouth for me
>no idea what happened but they were chasing her the last I saw
>I get right into working, starting to have fun
>start applying what I had been taught about marketing in school
>boss sees me refunding somebody for a stale churro
>says to me "we're carnies we don't give a fuck if somebody doesn't like the shit they bought, fuck em. And don't ever let me see you apologize to anybody for any reason ever again, we don't do that here"
>I tow the company line and shut down all complaints by screaming obscenities
OK they did not really make me employee of the months But they did get me hammered.
carnies are awesome to work for
>be me, working at lawfirm as file clerk
>angry client calls
>wants to know what we're going to do for her case
>tell her I'm just a file clerk, she needs to ask the attorney
>threatens to call police, 2spooky4me
>drags police down to lawfirm, she's acting a fool
>we tell her she's out of control and to leave this private property
>she gets mad and tells the police officer to arrest us, he gets pissed and tells her to leave as well
>she gets in his face
>he ends up arresting her refusing to leave private property, lel get rekt m8
>be me in 7th grade
>in Hawaii with family for vacation (four of us)
>momma says "Hey anon, what do you want to eat for lunch?"
>skip to sandwich factory check out
>i choose mega cheese with all meat and toast it
>three sandwiches out of four are done
>waiting in final sandwich
>stupid islander girl says "will this be all"
>"no we have one more being made"
>"so just these three?"
>"these three and that one there, so four in total"
>"okay so just three?"
>brother shouts "THERE ARE FOUR SANDWICHES DUMBASS"
>lady get's butt mad as you'd imagine
>walk out before we pay leaving sandwiches toasted with all the fucking cheese
>working at restaurant that serves Mexican food and Greek food
>menu is complicated and poorly put together but each item has a number that customers are supposed to order by
>one day mexitard woman comes through drive through and orders the #31
>#31 is the chimichanga, worst item on the menu, no one ever gets it
>I repeat the number and make sure that's what she wants
>she says yes
>Pull up to next window
>she pays, gets her food, leaves
>five minutes later this woman walks in the front of the restaurant and marches up the the counter
>"this isn't what I ordered"
>"this is exactly what you ordered"
>she gets pissed and demands to see a manager
>the owner comes up, starts talking to her
>she looks at the menu and tells him she ordered a #30 (nachos) and that I had messed up her order
>boss pull up the security video feed and plays it back
>audio distinctly captures her saying "thirty-one"
>boss says she got what she ordered
>woman is livid but has no comeback. She leaves dejectedly, leaving the terrible chimichanga behind
Not fast food but good enough:
>Working as cashier at dollar store
>In extremely ghetto area
>Old black lady who looks like a troll comes in, buys 28 dollars worth of shit and pays with $100 dollar bill
>Take bill, use detector marker on it
>"MAN DAT SHIT'S REAL YOU AINT GOTTA BE ACTING LIKE I TRYING TO GIVE YOU A FAKE BILL."
>"Ma'am it's just protocol."
>Hand her back 72 dollars and the reciept.
>Trollbitch proceeds to count the money FOUR times saying to herself "Mothafucka tryin' to cheat me, I know how much I gave you, mothafucka..."
>"Could you please move out of the way, there's other customers."
>Trollbitch looks up at me, says nothing, grabs her bags, and walks out.
>Next day, Trollbitch is back, and there's a blue and white striped umbrella behind the counter that she left on the ground and forgot to pay for the previous day
>"HEY MOTHAFUCKA, YOU THE ONE WHO CHECKED ME OUT YESTERDAY! WHERE MY UMBRELLA AT THAT I PAID FO'?"
>"Ma'am you never paid for it, you never put it on the counter. I didn't even know you were the one who left it there."
>"GOD DAMN MOTHA FUCKAS ALWAYS TRYING TO CHEAT ME!! WHERE YOUR MANAGER AT?!"
>"She's on her way up here. Do you have your reciept to prove you paid for it yesterday?"
>"NO I AINT GOT NO DAMN RECIEPT! I PAID FOR THAT SHIT YOU KNOW I DID!"
>"If you don't calm down, I'm going to have you removed from this store. I don't have to listen to this. You didn't pay for it."
>Manager comes up and goes into the logs on the computer, reprints the reciept, and shows her.
>Trollbitch becomes incoherent and starts screaming about how no one respects her, mothafuckas always cheat her, and storms out the door.
>5 seconds later she busts back in the door "AND I AINT NEVA COMIN BACK HERE AGAIN!"
>Many lulz were had, never saw her again.
> go to a subway with some friends
> I'll have a-
> look over at the meat selection
> mfw the meat is green
> walk right out of there
I've never eaten at a subway again
>OK they did not really make me employee of the months But they did get me hammered.
That guy looks like he's from one of these comics.
>be me, 17
>working at mcdonald's, moved out of parent's house early
>first day, on frontline
>old, fat as fuck couple comes in
>between the two of them, order 2 double quarter pounders, 4 large fries, 2 large shakes and 2 large cokes
> "make the second coke diet, though, he just came out of the hospital for heart problems"
>look down, see hospital band on the guy's wrist
>i fucking wonder why.jpg
i wonder if he's died from heart disease yet
Only in Murga do companies not pay their people enough to eat to the point where they pass out on the job yet are still expected to put on a sickening sweet attitude "THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIIIGHHHT"
>guy orders whopper
>gets to window, pays
>everything seems fine
I'm always really nice to customers and this guy was no exception
>adds on a milkshake
>a little thin but there's nothing I can do about it
>about 1 min later (he's been waiting ~2.5min at this point)
>guy pours milkshake out onto the drive thru
>GIVE ME MY FUCKING MONEY BACK YOU FUCKING RETARD
>you sure? I can make you another one and give you some free fries or something
>NO YOU FUCKING IDIOT I WANT MY FUCKING MONEY BACK RIGHT FUCKING NOW
>I'm sorry sir I can't open the drawer, let me get my manager
>NO OPEN THE DRAWER NOW YOU FUCKING RETARD. REEEETARD.
>tell my manager what's up
>she goes to the window
>my employee said there's a problem? you want your money back?
>YEAH I WANT MY FUCKING MONEY BACK YOU FUCKING RETARD
>sir please don't speak to me like that
>I CAN SPEAK TO YOU HOWEVER I WANT YOU FUCKING RETARD
>sir please stop, or I'm not giving you your money back and will call the police
>YOU GUYS ARE BOTH FUCKING RETARDS
>manager shuts the window
>guy just sits there for a few minutes
He called a bit later saying we could keep his money and that it should be used for some manners lessons for the kid at the window (me).
>>be me at subway
>>guy comes In looking classy and well groomed in suit
>>orders a sub with 4 kinds of sauses. Extra
>> everything is going normal
>> not my last day but had my 2 weeks put in about aweekago
>> asked for black pepper and and accident my put on salt as I thought I grabbed the pepper
>> he got mad and called me a stupid ginger
>> mfw I look up in anger threw the sub and sauces on his suit and ran the fuck out
>> thatfeelingwhen I never came back
I work in the deli department at a chain supermarket. Last December I ate something that gave me food poisoning, and it hit me in the middle of my shift. Was out in the back puking into a trash can, when I got done throwing up my manager asked me if it was possible for me to stay another 30 minutes before I went home.
Even though corporate rules basically said that anyone who is vomiting or has diarrhea has to be sent home immediately, they still made me stay and do work.
>be at local burrito shop
>order my favorite thing on menu
>the mega meat beast
>hand her debit card
>dump cunt tries to put in in cash register
>"uh, no you scan it in the slide"
>"thanks but I got this"
>spends another 5 minutes trying to figure it out
>getting tired of this bitch
>take the card and slide it down the scanner and complete check out
>look her in the eyes and take my burrito
>Cheese on this?
>What kind of cheese?
>Ma'am, what kind of cheese do you want.
>I SAID YES
>Point to the 5 cheeses
Or even better
>I want peppers
>Green, yellow, jalapeno, or black pepper?
>Sorry, we do not have that.
>Oh, I meant red onion.
>I want a foot long Italian
>grab Italian bread
>No I want the Italian sub on wheat.
>The Italian BMT or the Spicy Italian?
>The one with pepperoni
Or the best is.
>Are they not all 5 dollars? Sorry I don't have enough money then.
I swear to god people are fucking retarded. We have a damn menu.
mfw you realize they're actually measurments represented by numbers in degrees.
>> later at new job there's a subways right beside my firm
>> there a few times a week
>> brown guy there always asks me to get him a job aty work
>> that feeling g when we dont higher losers with no education
>>one day I tell him fine I'll give in his resume to my boss
>> he thanks me and says today my meals on him and tomorrow to come back and get his resume
>> free sub cookies. Chips. Drink
>> that feeling when I got free food and never returned. To get his resume the next day
>> been 11 months since I been at that subway
>> ask coworker if he still works there he tells me no hasent seen him for 2 months
>> decide to go last week
>> look in window he's not there go in
>> he comes out the back and says its been a long time anon
>> wtf he knows my name
>> award as fucj
>been working at a KFC in Australia for a few months now
>busy as fuck (Anzac day)
>qt3.14 Asian grill walks up to the register
>"Cud I prease hav a rarge arrstar meal prease?"
>"sure thing mam, and what drink would you like with that?"
>almost losing my shit trying not to burst out in laughter
>"would you like a large black cock or a small cock?"
>customers behind her start looking at me with shit eating grins
>"smarr cock prease"
>manager loses his shit (he was around the corner at the time)
>customers behind her break down in laughter
>I give her her meal saying "Enjoy your small cock"
>Got a high five from the guy behind her.
oh I have another one
>drive thru, taking orders
>can I get some chicken nuggets
>yeah how many do you want?
>chicken nuggets, how many did you want?
>they come in 4, 10, or 20
>I don't understand what you're asking
>how many nuggets did you want?
>I want the value meal, with a coke
motherfucker got 4.
You've literally just explained the struggles of working at subgay
>Can I get a pack of Marlboro Reds please?
>Kings or 100s?
>The tall ones or the short ones?
>THE RED ONES.
>We have the RED ones in Kings and 100s, which would you like?
>The 100s please.
>Marlboro Green 100s then?
>NO I SAID THE FUCKING RED ONES.
>Oh, I'm sorry. Here they are. The total is $7.38.
>behind the counter McDonalds soda machine
some lady comes-in and orders a fucking 6" cheese sandwich. not on the fucking menu.
how do you make it? how do you ring it up?
I know what stupidity is like. I work in a vape shop, every day at least one person comes in with their family, usually and older person with a wife who doesnt like e-cigs or a child who is pushing them into it. And every day I hear the same "CNN says this is poison is it really" or the best "propylene glycol is in antifreeze, is it in this? its bad right?"
Yes, PG is sooo bad for you, thats why they use it in hospitals and inhalers, and fog machines. And the media would never lie!
Put cheese on it and ring it up as a Veggie Delite. I work at fucking Walmart and I can figure that out. Jeez.
>be customer at Subway
>Turkey on wheat
>WHAT ELSE YOU WANT
>Uhhh... spinach, tomat..
Shut the fuck up you Subway faggots.
Happened to me like 2 days ago
> be me working at subway
> see this hillbilly chick come in, white plane shirt, blue baseball cap and ponytail
> asks for a monterey cheddar bread
> I accidently give her an italian herbs and cheese bread
> comes back angry as shit 5 minutes after I finished serving her
> starts yelling and making a fuss about it
> calmly tell her ill make another sandwich with no charge
> says the dumbest shit ive heard
>"I dont want another one I just didnt exepct you to lie, next time atleast tell me you're gonna switch breads before doing so "
> Leaves pissed off
Mfw monterey and italian herbs are the exact same shit exept for the cheese
>tell friend to buy me some cinnamon melts
>says why should he?
>tell him if he rips his shirt off while ordering he can have them
>(has plad button up shirt)
>give him the money and he goes up
>"hey can I have some...
>*Rips shirt off*
>I'm rolling on the ground laughing
>girl at counter has know idea wat to do
>few mins pass manager comes out with cinnamon melts and says
>"here you go and that wasn't funny, not funny at all "
>mfw some ambulance drivers were ordering food as i was getting taken away on a stretcher
that's a lot of paramedics
>get hit by car
>ambulance comes to take me to hospital
>guys are talking about baseball scores while im bleeding internally
>go through drive-thru at T-Bell
>fat girl at window asks me to repeat my order about 4 times
>starts saying it's too much over the intercom
>ask her what she means
>says it's her first day working
>stressing her out with so many customers
>pull up to window
>she take my money, gives change
>change is wrong
>go to mention it to her
>she left the window open and i can hear her swearing about customers and complaining to the other workers
>suddenly drops my bag of food as it's handed to her
>screams "STOP LAUGHING AT ME"
>no one was laughing at her
>take my order and leave
>none of my food has the meat in it
>mfw the whole ordeal scarred me
>used to work at a burrito/quesadilla place
>ask some girl "What would you like cheese?"
>"No thank you"
>"Alright, what would you like on this next then?"
Retard for lying on the internet to feel better about your neck beard.
its like you guys didnt know it originated on 4chan
>Be working at subway
>Man walks in the door
>Turns in a complete circle
>Looks me in the eye as he walks backwards out of the store
>Really have to piss
>Pull into McDonald's
>Speedwalk to bathroom
>Throw open the door
>Door nails a bucket that was in front of it
>Bucket goes flying spilling stuff everywhere
>I figure some McDonald's employee left it there after cleaning the bathroom
>Notice that the other man in the bathroom has some sort of tube that he is messing with.
>Oh god, he has some sort of medical issue and the tube goes into his body. He uses that tube to pee with by draining it into a bucket. When I opened the door and nailed the bucket I sent his pee splashing everywhere. I walked right through it and everything.
WELL THAT'S WHAT I DID when I worked at subway and she's flew off the fucking handle and my boss even setup a special meeting with her to apologize for me, and gave her a free party sub. >:|
i hope that woman dies ina fire
>be 5 mins to close
>bring mop bucket out to start mopping lobby
>old lady comes in and wants food
>sees me standing there mopping
>thinks im rushing her
>yells at me
>mfw when i got fired the next day
The other fucking day I made a small mistake on a big order and spent 5 minutes going over the order, explaining what everything cost, because the customer was being a gigantic cunt about the difference in price, then my manager got a FB message the next day detailing how I allegedly argued with her over the price.
>be me working at Taco Bell
>bitch in drive-thru
>I want extra sour cream
>last time I paid for extra and didn't get it
>laughing with coworkers as I put 3 large pumps of sour cream on her black bean burrito
>black bean burrito doesn't come with sour cream normally
>woman gets food
>drives back around
>there wasn't extra sour cream, I want extra sour cream
>ma'am I put extra EXTRA sour cream on your burrito
>asks us to remake her food
>tell her hell no
>bitch leaves angrily
>coworkers and I laugh for the rest of the night
Hire* fuck this is off my phone I'm not trying to give a fuxk about my shitr
Don't try and refer to my mistakes as a way to degrade my intellectual capacity in a deminutive manner fucktard
Capcha: ops a bitch
>work in vegetable department
>busy as fuck
>old nigger comes over to me
>"I'm sorry could you repeat ?"
>what the fuck is this nigger talking about
>"I'll go see if we have some of that in the back"
>Hang out for 5 minutes in the fridge , eating strawberries
>"I'm sorry we dont have anymore of that"
>old nig goes away
>5 minutes later
>old nig is back
>holding 10 fucking cans of Arizona Iced Tea
Bojangles is decent. Their Cajun Filet Biscuit is arguable the best breakfast item ever, but nobody will ever beat a Spicy Chicken Sandwich with HRBBQ Sauce for all of the other meals.
such 4chan mey mey xdd xdd
lel so oldfig, we are the major oldfriend's and the stupid rooding-poos are just dum new-figs who are bad
4chin mey meys r my best mey meys to perform
You can't be fucking serious bro. The subway standard for any 6 inch except for the big Philly is 2 slices no matter what. You're manager and that bitch is full of shit lol
>see threads like this
>instantly reminded that the people at my local fast food places are probably stupid /b/tards that take shits at work without washing their hands
I love you guys but if any of you are in Richmond KY please go ahead and tell me which places to avoid.
are you seriously bragging about being part of an irrelevant world of warcraft forum?
You didn't originate shit. That's just where YOU first saw it. It probably originated the day the 360 was even announced by thousands of unfunny teens across the world simultaneously
the way she figured it was a CHEESE SANDWICH so it should include cheese as cheese and cheese as meat and i guess what the hell she wants no veggies so cheese for veggies too.
and he agreed. cucking funt.
They do this so as to distance themselves from the patients. With the amount of shit EMT's see every day you have to find a way to ignore everything or it can really start to mess with you.
>mfw when I'm not the only ky fag here
anon posting pony images is a reportable offense
of course, i hope you all know that letting people know they are able to be reported isn't a reportable offense.
Your phone would have autocorrected to "fuck" and "shit", or some other word that is spelled correctly.
"Intellectual capacity" is a redundancy.
"degrade deminuitively" would mean to attack your character in an infinitesimal way.
Captcha (another word your phone would have changed) : Your and idiot.
>working at a shitty movie theater
>30 customers max on weekdays
>spend entire shift playing sega in manager's office
>throw moltov cocktails off work after work
>play soccer and hockey in lobby during showtimes
>run movie cardboard cutouts over with car in parking lot
>watch full movies on the clock
place got closed down a few months after I left
best job ever
>Can I get swiss please?
Sorry we don't carry swiss. we have pepperjack provolone, ameri-
>Hold on let me call them this ruins everything
Meanwhile there's a line out the fucking door
Aren't two 4oz patties the same thing as an 8oz patty considering they're made of ground meat? It's like making the distinction between a chunk of clay and two half-chunks of clay pressed together.
> Be 17, working at a pizza place. Local chain of shit places that steal every idea from Little Caesars.
> Old lady comes in every fucking week, I never make her pizza I always handle the cutting and boxing.
> She tells me to make it "well done".
> Our oven runs the pizza through in about 6 1/2 minutes, I toss it in the middle after a full pass and box it up. She checks her pizza and is pissed it's not cooked enough.
> Manager comes over and takes over while I go do my normal shit.
> Next time she comes in, I put her pizza through twice, then halfway again. Shit is dark brown.
> She loves it.
> Everytime she comes in after that, she only lets me do her pizza and yells at everyone else.
Bitch was eating burnt pizza, why not just get a shitty frozen one and scorch the fucking thing yourself?
>Filling Banana display
>Old woman comes over
>"What do these Bananas taste like?"
What the fuck was I supposed to say? Good, Like Bananas?
I've literally been holding veggies before and people have asked me where they are
>me, 17, mcdick's because fresh out of high school and it's a job
>working grill, I was the only person there who was good at not fucking it up (because for some reason people think it requires skill)
>grilling some patties, see a pickle fly onto my grill
>wtf, flick it off with the spatula
>cheese block incoming
>followed by a tomato
>patties are ruined at this point, turn around and fucking glare at two cackling idiots working table
>mfw they were using a metal rod to golf swing that shit onto the grill
>pissed that i had to clean it up, but pretty damned impressed that that's how it got there
Sir, we have all of our top scientists working on deciphering your post but we just don't have it yet
Here's a story from when I worked a pleb front gate position at a zoo. Not fast food, but close enough.
>Be about 3-4 years ago, when I was a freshman in college.
>Be some special day the higher ups created to Jew people out of their money.
>I think it was called "African conservation day" or something.
>The basic premise was that the first X kids into the zoo got some poor quality stuffed animal that the zoo probably paid some Chinks 5 cents an hour to make. Also keepers talked about how important it was to save lions, zebras and the like.
>It works really well. Idiots fall for it hook, line and sinker. Zoo's packed.
>Fat worthless front gate manager finally does something right and has me ticket taking with QT 3.14 coworker.
>Tried getting the idiots in a-sap so I can flirt with coworker and get closer to her pants, but it was so busy, there wasn't much time to do so.
>Day goes relatively well besides that.
>Getting closer to end of day, finally getting chance to flirt.
>See fambly of ghetto blacks coming up.
>"Welcome to <zoo name>, may I see your tickets?"
>"U ain't be askin dem fo deres."
>"Yeah, dats right. Dat family jus walked right pas u."
>Realize she was talking about the white family who came in right before them.
>"I'm sorry m'am, I think you are mistaken. It is zoo procedure that we take tickets from all the guests. See, these are their tickets right here."
>"No, dat aint deres."
>Go around in a circle like this for literally 5 minutes.
>Testing my patience but as college poorfag, I needed the paycheck and couldn't tell bitch off.
>Finally relents and gives me the tickets.
>Give them map and get them the fuck out of my face.
>Turns a simple 5 second procedure into a 5 minute procedure and wastes time I could have spent flirting with QT.
>new axles for asian girl's civic
>sees paying for the work
>"can i see my asshole?"
>"my ord asshole, can i see?"
>oh she wants to see the old axles
>lead her to the scrap metal
>point out her axles, flaking rust, ripped boots flung grease everywhere, cv joints flopping loose
>i swear to god she did the speed racer sound
>"OOOOHHH!! SUCH DIRTY ASSHOLE! oh ya asshole so dirty and bloken, thank you vely much fix my asshole!"
>i haven't been the same since
>customer is on the phone with another person getting their order and repeating it to me instead of writing it down ahead of time
>hangs up before getting everything
>"Oh hold on let me call them back."
>Doesn't really not everything is meat
>"green-meat" is called lettuce
>work at private smoothie shop on first floor of a plaza, under the gym
>what can I get you sir?
>and what size would you like?
>you're getting a small spic
Fucking illegals make ordering a smoothie more difficult than a 10k. Learn basic English.
>working at restaurant in down town SD
>SD has a lot of Germans for some reason
>at salad station helping co-worker with creme buele
>"sehen, dass Schwuchtel Herstellung der Creme Brulee?"
>"Ja, was ist mit ihm?"
>"Glauben Sie, dass er Homosexuell ist oder?"
>turn to look at him
>dude flips shit can calls manager
>manager barely speaks English, thick Spanish accent
>dude has thick German accent
>getting no where with this and go back to my station
>they argue for a good 10 fucking minutes
>spit in his salad
>look him in the eye and say, tote hose
shitty food or not, even if your job is to pick up shit all day have some fucking respect for it. Make the damn patty the right way first and be on your way. Not play golf with pickles. Impressive as their swing is, good for you for not being a tool
Posting a story then reading some. I worked for Taco Bell for six years so I have plenty (not all bad stuff too!)
> Be 2007
> Just start working at TB, my first job
> Be a month or so in
> The lobby is closed, my job to clean it
> After mopping I'm heading towards to back
> Turn the corner to the kitchen, the GM is running the drive thru
> He doesn't notice me, he's busy taking an order
> He's holding a cup
> Gets this look on his face... ACHOO!
> He sneezes straight into the cup
> Proceeds to fill with soda and give to customer
Not working, but some dick shit I did a while back...
>friend and I got sloshed at the bar
>we each pop bars and roxies after last call
>drunk drive to Eat'N Park at 3:30 a.m.
>friend and I are the only people in there outside of staff
>sit and order food, both have to piss
>go to the bathroom together like faggots
>both decide it would be funny to apply two coats of piss to the entire bathroom
>many keks are had
>friend upper-decks the handicapped stall
>I shit in the urinal
>back at table, drinks and food have arrived
>eating, chuckling, and getting more and more fucked up as the pills kick in
>waitress comes up and questions us, we both categorically deny it
>she tells us the men's room was cleaned literally right before we went in
>ask to speak to her manager
>tell him that she is accusing us of disgusting shit, etc...
>comps our meal, but I complain further that I've lost my appetite after this whole ordeal
>friend is losing his shit trying not to laugh
>he offers us $50 gift cards, a meal to take home, and promises to discipline her
>don't wait on extra meal, as I convey my worry that her friends will sabotage our food
>$75 gift cards, and he has her apologize to us
>thank them and leave
>fucking die of laughter in the car
So you're admittedly a cock sucking liar?
You could have got his resume knowing he wouldn't get a job. Not to mention I worked a shit job for 4 months after graduating college while I searched for career jobs. You have no idea what his resume says. Fucker have you a favor for a favor and you screwed him over. Worthless fucking gingers
the week I started some weird neckbearded dude came in and started explaining to me the entire process of making fries , pretty much gave me a tour of the potato aisle , describing each and every one of the fries you could make with these , etc.
I just couldnt stop the guy. I was just standing there , blown away at how much this guy knew about fries and shit.
>girl comes up
>"Where is this product ?"
>"Oh well I'm holding some right now ! , here."
>"No I dont want it."
>"Oh. Ok then , see you"
>"No wait I want to know where it is"
>"I just said I have some in my hands"
>"NO I just want to know where it is !"
>"... Right next to you"
>motherfucker got 4
How dejected are people from reality to assume tha tother people know what they want or know what the "standard" is at a fucking fast food joint.
I am going to go innawoods in Switzerland I swear to god.
>Uses kermit, an American creation
>>Doesn't really not everything is meat
I bet you feel silly right now.
>Started working at McDonalds
>I'm an ass kisser so people like me
>Almost never have to do any cleaning
>Running front counter
>Super fat Susan Boyle bitch comes up
>Orders like 6 big macks or some shit
>See the pain in her face
>Take longer finding the stuff she wanted on the ring-up board
>Practically dying inside
>Says to put her order on hold, shes gotta use the restroom
>Feel bad for the fuckers that have to clean up
>Comes back five minutes later to finish ordering
>Total comes to 30 something
>Hands me a 50
>Notice brown stuff on the bill
>Tell manager to help lady because I suddenly have to use the restroom
>Finish stalling in bathroom
>Get back behind counter
>mfw it's the first day I'm told to clean bathrooms
>Go into ladies bathroom
>Wall, floor, seat, trash can.
>I quit three weeks in, on that day so I didn't have to clean it.
Fucking disgusting people man.
hey man, the sub gets cheese regardless of meat/soylent patty. if a person wants to substitute their meat/patty for more cheese you see a problem with that? the cheese is cheaper anyway
she couldn't bear the thought of eating food out of your grubby greasy zit-popping ass-scratching cum-chumming fingers
Working inna starbucks
>closing in 5min
>two tubs of shit waddle in
>CAN I GET 2 VENTI VANILLA BEAN FRAPPUCCINOS, WITH 2 SHOTS OF ESPRESSO AND HEAVY CREAM, AND A VENTI 5 SHOT CARMEL MACCHIATO AND TONS OF CARMEL
>Ring the fuckers up, I am alone, because managment decided that 1 person can close a starbucks in 30 minutes
>Make the frappuccinos
>NAH BRO, SHIT IS MELTED
>sir espresso is boiling hot, and your drink is blended.
>remake it, this time use Frap roast, because fuck him
>this satisfied the tub of shit.
>push the other one out the same way
>get to the carmel macchiato, switch the lights off
>wait for all five shots to pull, (Single and double shots take 20-30secs to pull each)
coat the cup with carmel, pour the milk in, top with the shots, and cover it in carmel
>NAH BRO NEED MORE CARMEL
>TAKE THE TOP OFF THE BOTTLE AND I WILL TELL YA WHEN TO STOP
>Scoop some foam and espresso off the top to make room
>literally empty half a bottle of carmel into the cup
>the lardass mixes up the CM
>BRO YOU SUCK
Not as wierd as the night a bunch of flaming homos that looked like the village people came into the store and bitched about how starbucks sucked.
>Don't tell me how much starbucks sucks, I know our espresso, coffee, and our espresso machines suck, I usually go to a genuine hipster joint that has la marzocco machines and hookah.
>I was the only person there who was good at not fucking it up (because for some reason people think it requires skill)
I've never worked at a mcdonalds but it sounds like that's just the job no one wanted
she didnt even grab the one that I didnt touch
Drunk and high behavior does not equal edgy, nothing personnel, kiddo.
>>and what size would you like?
Oh anon, don't you know Spic Measurements?
Put a Banana straight up and put a Strawberry on top, whichever size comes closer is what he wants.
Check your Privilege
>never worked at a busy kitchen
>calling me edge
>im scared shitless, almost to the point of crying
Holy Shit Man the Fuck Up you are literally surrounded by sharp weapons
I had an assplosion like that once. Was sitting at my desk and my stomach started gurgling, figured it could wait a bit, then a few minutes later my asshole sent out a red alert and I literally ran to the restroom, pouring sweat and trying desperately to keep my asshole closed. Got my pants down just below my cheeks and my ass exploded like a Michael Bay movie all over the toilet, the wall, the floor. It was like someone rigged a gallon of chili to explode. I hobbled into the next stall and finished shitting like a human being, then looked in the first stall and almost gagged. I had to mop my face and check myself over for shit before going back to my desk.
That job just really made me hate old people. They just dont shut the fuck up oh and heres another one
>"blind" guy comes into the shop everyday
>For 3 years
>Always asks where things are
>After awhile I starede to dodge him
>He can always scope me out
You ain't really blind man! Get your own fucking Granny Smith
my my such le edge.It's way past your bedtime faggot
>chill morning shift, like usual
>business is slower in day so fewer tips per hour
>next delivery is to somewhere I've been before
>bitch stiffed me last two times I went there
>take pizza anyway, be polite, smile, throw in extra peppers and cheese
>bitch takes credit card receipt
>kindly ask her if she is aware that there is a line where she can tip if she appreciated my service (some people don't know this for real...)
>"Yeah, I know." Starts to turn and close door.
>flip switched, I fucking lose it, evil zen mode
>"Hey, if you're not going to tip, don't order from us anymore. We don't want business from people like you. Fuck you."
>laugh and walk away
>hear her bitching to boyfriend while I'm in stairwell
>drive like an action hero back to store, clock back in
>phone rings, service with a smile
>it's the bitch
>complains about driver telling her to "fuck off"
>"Oh, I am so sorry ma'am! I'll make sure to talk to the driver about it. That kind of behavior is not tolerated here."
>manager asks who it was, I tell her everything
>"Good for you. Fuck that bitch"
Everything went right. Felt damn good.
Ahahahahaha fuck you.
> Fast forward to 2008
> Managerfag now
> Never give keys to an entire store to an eighteen year old
> No cameras either, they came like 4 years later
> Be after hours
> Three co-workers and I gather
> Rockband was still a fairly new game
> Bring full Rockband set, my PS3, HDTV, and a stereo system inside
> Haul all of it onto the roof
> Turn off all lights except the ones shining straight onto the roof
> Rock the fuck out.
>Uses Simon Cowell a British Person
>Bigs up America
I bet you feel silly right now
>Working for the local school
>Updating student laptops and shit, they get to take em home so tons of weird stuff
>Get to tard's computer
>Decide to look through it throughly for giggles
>First impressions, C drive is 100% full
>All 150 GB of it
>Look around for games, find none, this computer is fully stock
>Look at pictures
>Find an absolute mountain of mlp r34
>Shit would put mlp board to shame
>No folders, categories, just out in plain pictures folder
>Laugh as I delete it all, every last pictures that this tard has amassed over the course of the year
More to come
>BE ME 17
>WORK AT MEDIOCRE RESTRAUNT
>ASSHOLES OF A P.E. TEACHER COMES IN
>HE ALWAYS PICKS FAVORITES AND FLIRTS WITH HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS WHILE HES MARRIED WITH A KID.
>AM TIRED OF HIS BULLSHIT AND WISH TO BE AN ASSHOLE
>STANDING NEAR WAITRESS WHILE HE PUTS ORDER IN
>WAITRESS TAKES THE TICKET BACK TO THE KITCHEN
>WAIT ABOUT 15 MINUTES
>GO BACK TO THE KITCHEN
>ASKS THE COOK TO GO GET ME SOMETHING FROM THE BACK FREEZER
>HERES MY CHACE
>SEE HIS FOOD WAITING TO BE TAKEN TO HIM
>ITS A BLT
>LIFT UP BUN AND SPIT ON IT
>I WALK OUT OF KITCHEN
>MINUTES LATER WAITRESS BRINGS HIM HIS FOOD
>I WATCH HIM EAT IT ALL
>>urge to take a massive shit
>>stomach starts making weird noise
That still exists, and in retail stores?
"The operation centers on a specially designed "clam shell" grill that closes over hamburgers, from the bottom and the top, to cook both sides at once. It is attached to a timer, so even if a new cook tried, he or she couldn't undercook the meat."
It's a limited time thing at my store, the only time we've not had it is when it's taken off the menu. We did run out of sauce while we had it, once, but that was for like 2 hours.
Im Canadian bro, and that was intentional.
Pretty sure I'm the first one to post that image actually.
hahah le edge hahaha I tip my edora to you, le fight le system.
Let's go to McDonalds and proclaim gommunism
Not food, but
>Work at gym
>Essentially a janitor
>Clean up when things are slow
>Pick up after gym rats who collect weights
>Doing my duty without paying much attention
>Notice a bench half-way across the gym littered with various pairs of dumbells, various barbells, and an EZ-curl bar
>Sigh to myself and start putting them back
>Finish up and start walking away when I hear somebody shout "WHO THE FUCK TOUCHED MY SHIT!?"
>A few steps away but I immediately knew what was going down
>Turn around expecting to see a muscle head
>Muscle manlet is glaring around with a vein popping out of his head and his face all read
>He screams out again and violently kicks the bench
>Look back at the entrance where my co-workers are standing
>They gesture signifying that they aren't going to do shit about it
>Prepare for the worst and head over
>Ask him to calm down because he's making a scene
>Lil manlet struts up to me and glares inches away from my face, looking up
>Screams out that this place is shit and that I'm shit and that everything is shit
>Manager pops up beside me and informs the manlet that he'll have him removed from the gym if he keeps it up
>Starts screaming near-incoherently at the manager saying he spent good money for this place so he'll do what he wants
>Manager asks him to leave the premises or he'll call the police
>Manlet steps in again and starts snarling at him
>After a minute of this, backs off and stares at me
>Calls me a pussy and walks away
>Leaves the gym
>As he's leaving, he kicks the glass door hard
>Never see him again
Fucking manlets. They're like territorial chihuahuas.
I agree with this. I delivered for Jerrys in my hometown. We actually made minimum wage so whatever tips went right into my gas tank.
They were nice but I learned to just never expect them
Goddamnit, I can't tell where the trolling ends and the genuine stupidity begins.
>"Cover me, I'm falling back"
HAAV AT YEE YOU YANK BASTARDS THIS IS MAH LAND AND ILL POST WHATEVER THE FUCK AH LIKE
hey man, not trying to be a dick, but why get so mad over no tips? I get paid barely over minimum wage and also work in food, why do you expect more than minimum at a pizza place?
Honestly, I think we should all get paid more, but my question still stands