Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network issues. Refreshing the page usually helps. The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact. You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random
>>556786331 > be in 6th grade in a schoolbus > on my way back from field trip to UCSB > sitting with my mother because nobody else wanted to sit next to me > suddenly need to shit real badly > fuck it i'll hold it only half an hour drive > nope Los Angeles traffic makes it more like three hours > can't hold it in any longer so i tell my mom > she gives me a bag and uses her sweater as a curtain for privacy > proceed to shit in bag > one of the bag's flaps folds in so shit spills over on to the seat > all kids complain about smell
The worst part was that it wasn't even solid shit, it was one of the most watery diarrhea i've ever produced.
>19 years old >make hardcore chiptunes for fun >get asked to play at an anime convention >wear really ugly, thick suspenders for no good reason >chiptuners get pushed to a back room where there's a tent party >play my hardcore music >get in the tent and tell them it's live >my chiptune friend backs me up >"he's telling you this because they're very hard to make" >I try to make a joke >"my penis is very small"
>>556789008 Yes I'm pretty sure people actually new about this, I had to wait until everybody got off the bus first and I was sitting in the front seat. I had the sweater on my lap and I stank of shit. Plus the shit that hit the floor and wet the kids shoes behind me. >>556789046 Not any that I knew of but I probably did. I was about 12 years old. I was never a bus driver.
Had a website in 8th grade, where I uploaded a long ass shitty poem for this 9th grade chick who I never met and texted all the time and confessed my "love" to and was too beta to say anything. Oh, and one night I asked this random guy on facebook how to go about getting her to like me, and the guy turned out to be her boyfriend, who I had to see at a distant family reunion thing later that night. Words can't express the cringe of my 8th and 9th grade years.
>First day of secondary school >Arrange to meet friends beforehand, all walk up together >Miscommunication, they get there at quarter to the hour, leave because I'm late, I get there at quarter past >Wait til half past (when I should be at school) before setting off >Work myself up about being really late on first day, end up crying >Burst into form room, crying, begging not to be expelled, in front of my new classmates
It was a long time before they forgot about that one.
>13 years old >had good girl buddy >secret love >she is leaving, so i hug her from behind >feel her butt with my dick >massive hard on >feelsgoodman.jpg >anon what are you doing? >huging you for goodbye >i must leave, anon mfw she felt my boner on her butt
>Sister is starting casual conversation. >Says, "Anon, ever realise girls in the future will get sluttier even younger?" >Chuckle and get ready for reply. >it's in my head. >Turn to her and just say, "I don't want to think about that because then that would make me a pedophile" >FUCKTHEPOLICE.JPG >turn to her; "I don't want to think about that.." >SHIT I FORGOT WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY. ABORT ABORT ABORT "Because by then, I would be a pedophile.." >HAH- WAIT, WHAT?" >Spaghetti river below my feet. >she stares on and leaves the room. MFW she still doesn't talk to me. MFW I ruined my relationship with my sibling over a word mix up. MFW I'm not even a pedophile.
>rolling hard in children's play park for some reason >me and mate see someone we know little scruffy cunt > loved up invite him back to my house >he asks if he can bring his friends I agree >enter house to find grandparents and parents >I'm with 13 strangers they don't know gurning my tits off
>>556795791 Are you me? >Be 14 >Be in last lesson >Girls has a 10/10 ass >she bends over in front of my table >Fully erect >Without thinking, I thrust my erect cock into her ass >Silence >ohfuck.jpg >Teacher sends me out of lesson and get sent to head office >Known as butt love for the remainder of my teenage years
> be 13 > start visiting a spanish website called cuantocabron (spanish 9gag) (this in itself is cringeworthy) > very hard to get one rage comic published on the main page > I get six of them on there > tell all my friends through Tuenti (a spanish social network nobody uses nowadays) as a profile status > all this happening during the summer > start making memes of each one of my classmates and upload them on Tuenti. One of these 'cool guys' makes memes himself and sends them to me so that I put them on Tuenti too > spam the entire social network with memes and rage comics about trivial moments I found funny. This 'cool guy' and his friend tell me through private messages how funny these are > school starts > I'm so obsessed with memes I shout them out loud in real life > shout during class for some other trivial moment, "everything went better than expected" (in english, not in spanish) > Think my teacher didn't hear me, but she did and stared at me without saying anything for some 20 seconds > say "Oh god why" > everyone is staring at me with their mouths shut > when the classes end everyone starts to talk about how annoying I am with memes, shouting them out loud (and since I live in spain, shouting stuff out loud in english makes it worse), spamming Tuenti all the time. Get called a try-hard and a nerd > realize fucking nobody used Tuenti anymore and they were all seeing solely what I uploaded because they received notifications through their mobiles (yes, years ago 13-year-olds had mobiles, this doesn't seem to be true in some other countries afaik) > everyone laughed at me the entire summer for uploading all the shit to Tuenti through whatsapp which I didn't even have installed, so I didn't realize they were laughing at me > I say, "well, (the two cool guys) liked my stuff, you just don't get my humor" in front of a very crowded area where they were too > they say they were trolling me and that it was never funny > everyone starts laughing > I run away crying
>>556784525 >best friend had a movie maker on his Mac in the 7th grade >we make 5+ videos >all about as good as you'd expect >90% us playing with slo mo and sound effects >Youtube becomes big the year after we start >he makes channel >videos get no views >he deletes forever from internet in high school >I'm upset >looking back, probably the nicest thing he's ever done for me
>got drunk once with a girl >made out with her and shit >fast forward 1 month >i was feeling lonely so i decided to go drink with some friends before school (we were planning to miss the class that day) >got really drunk >started crying like a fag >stopped crying >decide i got to go to school >enter in school completely drunk >find this girl (she was my crush back then) >start talking shit with ther >whole class realises i'm drunk >at home, not drunk >feels like shit because of it >tfw i did the same think 3 more times again At least in the end of the year i will move to another city and start a new life.
>Be 5 >Have friend where I knew him for the first 10 years of my life >Being 5 we did stupid shit >Started a thing called wiener doctors >We fondled each others dicks >We also licked each others asses >mfw I think back on this >One day his mom comes up stairs yelling about snacks being ready or some shit >It's been a full 30 seconds and I still can't get my fucking pants on >Mom comes in room >Sees me deer in headlights with my pants mostly on >Rolls her eyes and walks out >mfw it gets worse later on in life I got a lot of stories about me and this mother fucking guy if anyone's interested
> be 8 > have a crush for this girl called Alexa > be playing mario kart wii > play against some girl named "Alexa" > her Mii looks like the girl I had a crush for > be playing all the time until she leaves > next day on school > my friends knew I had an obsession with mario kart wii > tell Alexa while she's with friends that she's a good racer in the game > she doesn't understand what I'm talking about > tell her I was "Pro9999vr" and that I played against her yesterday in said game > she says she doesn't have a Wii > realize it was a complete stranger > oh... it must have been someone else then > she starts laughing along with her friends loudly > tells everyone > be made fun of for years
>be 13 >be smaller than the rest >even younger kids tease me >christmas comes >turn 14 >suddenly enter puberty >grow huge >neither me nor the younger kids realise it >one of them teases me and hits me >he is 3 years younger >lose my temper >throw him on the floor >start hitting him >other friends seperate me >i almost start crying
Didn't realise it back then but later on i realised how cringe worthy it was
>be me >13 year old california kid >Not fit but handsome >Go to Baptist church and always alone with PAR-tick-u-lar lass >Wanted so bad to kiss her >start dating >Mom brings me and her on a speical weekend to a bowling tourny I was in >2 and half hours into the drive she starts pointing out the window >I look and don't see anything I ask her what she was pointing at >It was a moment before the vomit started spraying me in the face that I realized she was going to be sick >Lose bowling tourny,covered in vomit,head home disappoint >Try to get over vomit situation but can't >want to break up with her but 13 yr old me is a pussy >Talk to my mom about it >She says she'll do it for me >MFW my mom broke up with my girl friend for me.
>>556796864 It gets better. Weeks before, she borrowed my laptop to buy shit. Finished a raid on /mlp/. (Don't ask). Had ruse image that was a gif of shovel dog. >>She found it. I'm planning on leaving the country. My family think I'm an animal abusing kiddy diddler.
>>556799234 another one with Alexa: > be 8 > she enters the class > I stare at her > drool > this girl is next to a fat ugly bitch called Miriam > typical asshole notices what I'm doing > he thinks I have a crush for Miriam instead of Alexa > shouts "OH OH GUYS LOOK! ANON LOVES MIRIAM LOOK AT HIM" > stop staring at the girl, put a weird face while I look at him > what? > they start telling people individually about my crush for the fat girl Miriam > everyone believes them > people don't forget about that day until they notice about my next crush years later
>Be in San Antonio,TX >Military convention >Get sent on vacation essentially >Higher ranking Sgt wants to hit the river walk >Its packed >We are pounding beers >Everyone else goes home and its just me and him drunk as hell walking the river walk >We become irish >Irish accents the rest of the night >Talking to random girls trying to get laid >O shit Sgt is setting up a threeway with this chick >I'm down >Turns out its a hooker >Realize now she is ugly >Back to room all drunk with Dennys >Not sure where I got Dennys but its hot so it must be fresh >Ate that shit up
>>556799991 Ok >So we will call this other guy "J" >As a kid I lived right next to J so we were good friends >But this guy could hold no secrets >One day when he is 8 or something he tells his parents about wiener doctors >His parents talk to mine >Parents start to have a sexual conversation with me >mfw they give me a fucking sex ed book >Get mad at J for being a pussy and not holding secrets >Later, like 6 months or something J in standing next to me and he says >"Wiener doctors.... we sure were dumb >Me: "Yeah" That's it with the weird sex shit with J, but I had more around 8 with other people. Also I had overall shenanigans with J, one of them involving me stealing his FEZ candy canister and hiding under my bed >What am I going to do hide under there forever?
>Be 12 yr old me >In Middle school >I finally understand what my boner means >Start getting butter flys for girls >This one girl I want to kiss so bad >She is pretty and an awesome kissable face you know like has lips and braces >End of year approaches >Best friend is the coolest kid in class >everyone else thinks I'm lame >I was a chubby beta so yeh I was lame >I try to sneak into the picture >"anon you can't be in this picture" >"Your not cool enough" >I start to hold back tears half way >Just walking off all slow like >Everyone else agrees except My Best friend >He said he wasn't going to be in the picture unless I was in it >They all agree to let me be in it Thanks Mike wherever you're at
>>556800809 > weeks later > during class > alexa and miriam (who weren't friends anyways) were playing together with a Nintendo DS > they are caught, the class stops, everyone stares at the teacher punishing them > both Alexa and Miriam stand up to quit the class > I want to defend Alexa and say she did nothing > stand up, be right next to both Alexa and Miriam > look at the teacher and the class and say, "she did nothing, I was staring at them" > don't realize "she" can be either Alexa or Miriam > everyone thinks I'm defending Miriam because they think I had a crush on her > and I just admitted to stare at her during class > kids laugh so hard even the teacher joins them > start crying
I meant to bring the cute girl back into play at the end of the story because she was one of the ones that just agree'd definativly that I shouldn't be in the picture but instead I'm high so just deal with it I guess. Thanks guys in advance
>>556784525 >Be 11 >Camping with the whole grade, like 80 kids >Be tall, neither fat nor skinny and socially akward >Two dudes attack me for no reason >wrestle one down >the other one fucking jumps on me hard >I fart the loudest fart I've ever let out my rectum >20 girls watching the event start laughing their asses off >My face is the same colour as bananas, but red >I rush to my tent and stay there for the rest of the trip
>>556784525 >be teen me (15 or so) >work at kids summer camp as counselor >pool time nigga >get in "deep end" >5 feet of water >6 foot tall me stands there because lazy dont wanna play with kids >kids see me and think I'm a fucking post for them to hold on to so they dont drown >mfw when the camp is mostly 9 year old girls >britfag swims to me "anon I need a break" >wraps her legs around my waist and keeps her hands off > isthiswhatfitwastrainingmefor?.jpeg >boner rising like the challenger >pokes 9 year old butts >she doesnt notice im hoping >sorta near actual wall >supervisor walks over >"anon do you have a moment?" >THESPAGHETTISOUTNOW.png cont?
Britfag here >be 14 >there's a fucking hipsterish gay kid called Jake >says he's bisexual for attention from girls >never been out with a guy >gettin all da pussay myjimbobsareflustered.avi >one day I finally muster up all my courage and autistic bravery >go up to the best looking girl in year, wouldflyplaneintobuildingsfor72ofher/10 >h...hey femanon >Oh, hi anon >Uhh so I was wondering whether you ever wanted to go out sometime LAUGHS IN MY FUCKING FACE >TELLS HER FRIENDS LAUGH IN MY FACE >Ha, sorry anon, I'm going out with Jake. maximumrustled.exe >had enough of his shit >go up to him >he's telling some girls about how he feels so oppressed and shit >you're not fucking bisexual >he turns to me and all the girls gasp >have a massive rant about how he does it for attention >OH MAH GHOD, UR OPRESIN MEH >IM SO OPRESED AND BISXAL >if you're bisexual, then you won't mind me touching your balls thisistrueautism >girls turn to him >f..fi.......fine >I grab his fucking nuts like there's no tomorrow >I grab his hand and press it to my nuts >he doesn't mind >really fucking awkward twenty seconds before I realise >turn 360 degrees and walk away >mfw he turned out to be a full on homo a few years later
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from them. If you need IP information for a Poster - you need to contact them. This website shows only archived content.
If a post contains personal/copyrighted/illegal content you can contact me at email@example.com with that post and thread number and it will be removed as soon as possible.