Ask a practicing pathological diagnostician of six years almost anything.
> inb4 show us your college diplomas
> inb4 show us your hospital ID
> inb4 what's your name
> inb4 op can't inb4
pic related, i have the same job as House just not as exciting and i don't do Vicodin
Because I already smoke weed at home and narcotics don't suit me much.
Lol. In the span of six years I have accumulated a ~96% correct diagnostic rate and only lost a handful of patients, mostly from cancer or strokes.
I've never gone to work high though except once when I got called in at like 9:30 PM when I was already at home smoking a bowl. Haha. Nobody noticed (I hope!)
You might be depressed since you're on /b/. Or you might work too much, be stressed, not be getting enough REM cycle sleep, or you might even take too many Melatonin Supplements.
In terms of gross, or in terms of "jesus christ this is fascinating"? Not sure what you mean.
Grossest is probably necrotizing fasciitis, most fascinatingly fucked up is probably...schizophrenia? Really hard to decide, honestly.
hey dr.OP would you mind sharing a brief story about the most complicate or interesting or tricky diagnosis you've had to make? also another question is how can i go about catching leprosy in a container and passing it on to someone without me actually catching it?
I had a male patient who was depressed for about 3 or 4 years and had migraines, he was getting a prescription for migraine medication (don't recall which since I don't even remember the guy's name) when he suddenly had a transient ischemic attack (mini-stroke). We did an MRI of his head and noticed some white matter lesions that were indicative, but not proof of, CADASIL. After that, we did a skin biopsy and a genetic test to check for vessicle degeneration and mutations to a specific gene that can cause CADASIL. Turns out he did have it.
CADASIL is an acronym for Cerebral Autosomal Dominant Arteriopathy with Subcortical Infarcts and Leukoencephalopathy (spelling is bad because I don't care)
Dunno if that's the MOST complicated, but it's the most complicated that I can remember the most from.
As for your leprosy question..
Leprosy is caused by the bacteria Mycobacterium leprae and Mycobacterium lepromatosis. Trap them in a jar, fill it with water, and get someone to drink it. They'll get leprosy. Ta-da!
I believe I am about to be diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. I just went through an intensive maybe 10 hour examination and i realized many of the answers i gave were very strange in retrospect....
Can crazy people lead happy normal lives? I think i'm happy...
Systemic Lupus Erythema actually happens quite a bit, more often in women than men. Michael Jackson had it, if I recall correctly?
Schizophrenic AND bipolar? Damn son, that sucks. For you, I mean. Crazy people can lead almost normal lives, when you get on the right medication(s). You'll need mood stabilizers and anti-psychotics, as well as anti-depressants most likely.
I have a sub-type of Bipolar Disorder (DSM-RV) that is characterized by intense depression and mild mania. Weed helps, boss knows, boss and I have an understanding. It's awesome.
I have tried neurologists, psychiatrists and religious-bullshit. None of them helped. I found the only thing that has worked on my own and I am trying to treat myself in this very moment.
My family has a history of bipolar and i often have wild swings in emotion for little reason
I also kinda randomly disconnect from the world and zone out for periods at a time.... i have a bunch of symptoms of shizo, the biggest being MASSIVE insomnia, there will be days I go without sleep until I start hallucinating.
As strange as this all sounds, i'm actually a pretty cool happy dude
What are you treating? Autism?
Dunno. I took the MCAT and got 45/45 which basically set me on a perfect medical path. Hahaha.
All of those are regular symptoms of bipolar disorder. Many with bipolar hallucinate, become delusional, can't sleep, become dis-associative, and so on. Glad to hear you're happy, though.
Although I do have to admit, I don't know much about schizo, just that i'm a bit off.
Thankfully i'm happily in college, and applying to medical school soon. You in Boston? odds are i've bumped into you
I said the most fascinating to me is probably schizophrenia. The incredible hallucinations and delusions that peoples' brains create out of NOTHING and it feels SO real to them. I wish I could experience it for just an hour.
As in, the skin? The bone? Or inside of your brain? Not sure what you mean, but if it makes you feel any better I can tell you that you're fucked.
The good old United States of America. How's neurology? One of my team members is a neurologist.
I am a pain patient but am getting tired of having to rely on painkillers to get through the day.
I also hate the social stigma that comes with it, as corrupt pill mills have popped up to satiate the desires of junkies.
My questions are, what's the easiest way to get off the narcotics. Also, I heard that with the way things are, hydrocodone will be practically impossible to get a prescription for, even for pain patience. What is the validity of this?
I'm not a surgeon but I suppose there's probably some incredibly expensive, pointless operation to add an inch to your overall dickage.
Wait for it to stop swelling and brush your teeth, fucking vagrant.
I worked as a restaurant cook and software engineer while I was in medical school. After I graduated I got my current job because of my perfect MCAT score and because I was a friend of a friend of the hospital administrator where I currently work.
Learn to read, maggot! Maybe you need an eye doctor?
I don't know what's the desease, but I lack feelings inside my head, like it's empty and my brain is under anesthesia. Sometimes I get worse, which in this case I feel like my head is getting colder in specific areas, blood is being drained from there, so I get deep angst and can't concentrate. Other times, the opposite happens: feel blood getting in, areas of the inside of the head getting warmer, concentration is better.
patients* My bad.
Also sorry for the grammar and lack of punctuation.
I know pill mills are a lot less common now, but the fact that they gave pain patients a bad rep just really sucks.
I need yer help. I have hematuria, but only now and then after binge drinking, I had gross hematuria twice but it went away Immediately after antibiotics. My hematuria is not visible now mostly, but lots of bubbles in the toilet bowl, my blood work and kidnet sed rate is ok, had sonogram etc. I did have HSP with small vessel pupura a few years ago becuz bad cocaine. Ideas?
Do you watch House? Do you like it? I know it is often inaccurate.
There was a doctor who reviewed every single episode of House and pointed out the medical inaccuracies, if you like the show and are interested in reading it.
Think you could recommend treatment for a relatively mundane skin condition?
I have repetitive stress injury from too much keyboarding in my left index finger. I have pain localized in my metacarpophalangeal joint. It's been this way for months and it doesn't seem to be getting better. I don't have any kind of health insurance. I try avoiding use of it as much as possible but it's not easy. Is my hand fucked for life?
Hey OP, I need your opinion: I'm a med student and I'm not sure if I'll stick to neurology or neurosurgery.
I need your opinion about the pros and cons of these two, because I love clinical practice and surgical practice too. Just tell me what you think about the fields, the amount of work, the ease, tell me whatever the fuck comes to your mind
also, which country do you work? My country doesn't have pathogical diagnostic departments
i have a burning / stabbing pain in my stomach everytime i eat and also sometimes when i'm not eating.
happened after munching a fair amount of mdma in a sitting on an empty stomach.
plz fix me
The easiest way to get off of narcotics is probably to stop cold turkey and go to rehab. Sounds shitty but it's the most effective way, really. It's hard to get hydrocodone only if you have strict doctors.
Sounds like you might have DID or another psychiatric / neurological condition. Ask for a stimuli fMRI and PET.
Blood in the urine is usually a, "To the hospital!" sort of thing. Binge drinking is, in itself, incredibly stupid and hopefully it kills you if you constantly are doing that. If you get it after binge drinking it's because your body is freaking out from the incredibly high blood-alcohol levels, and putting strain on your kidney from your liver detoxifying the alcohol and sending it through your kidneys to be filtered through your nephrons. Overloading your kidneys like that can cause irreversible damage.
I've finished the show, I thought it was a pretty good soap opera. Makes my job look a LOT more exciting and fast paced. In reality, my team doesn't run so many tests, hahaha. We order them on the hospitals computer system, and a trained professional does the XRays or MRIs or whatever. Sometimes we do them since everyone, except for our surgeon, is trained to use the MRI machine, XRay lab, and so on.
A lot of the episodes are HUGELY incorrect, haha.
OTC ointment, less sun exposure, more vitamins and exercise. And more water!
I don't want to give those away because they could be used to identify me.
First off, let me laugh at you.
>I have repetitive stress injury from too much keyboarding in my left index finger.
Stop using your computer for a month, it'll be fine.
hey I've got shit grades b/c more important things and problems in life. if I get 45/45 cuz smart as fuk, would I get into top 5 schools? Top 10?
so it's nothing but i don't loose anything checking anyways:
Ever since the last time i got bronquitis i can't cough "normally". i don't know how to explain it. i can't rasp my throat as i cough nor i do it "automatically" but i feel my throat full of phlegm anyways. anyways, to release that annoying feeling i'm forcing to rasp my throat myself, i need to do it because is just extremely unconfortable. i do some kind of "GNRRRRR" at least two times each 15 minutes. i have been doing this for almost 2 weeks and 3 days.
i have no problems sleeping though.
I did a normal MRI and didn't show anything.
And my psychiatrist gave me meds that didn't change anything. His evaluation was that there is not enough symptoms to conclude I have a mental problem and I should go to a neurologist.
Thanks doctor, here have another anal gif. Previous one was Sharon Lee in Anally Talented 2 BTW
>Stop using your computer for a month, it'll be fine.
Ok Doc, I'll try. I have been moving my fingers for about 17 hours a day non stop for the past year. I guess it caught up to me. Thanks for the advice.
10 days of uncontrollable emotions, followed by a 4 day cocaine-like high. Emotions were correct, but they were going from 0/10 to 10/10. They were coming and going in waves lasting just a few seconds.
mild soreness in neck
felt faint on two separate occasions, with moments of confusion.
Patient described a "rushing" sensation on the back of skull 2 days before emotion swings started.
no bloodwork done
Sorry if I missed you, there are a few replies while I'm still typing and I can't fit them all in one long post most likely.
I did pretty good senior year in high school. Got a D in welding and cooking, though. 102.56% in Human Anatomy and Physiology and Pathology though!
With neurology, you're going to be doing a lot of observing, reading and interpreting MRI scans, PET scans, CT scans, etc. You'll be the guy saying "I think there's a mass here in the left hemisphere" or "No that's just an artifact"
With neurosurgery, you're gonna be the ballsy guy slicing into some poor guy's head because he has a headache and a twitchy finger. Lot more room for mistakes with this one, because you're doing physical work. With the former, other people will be there to share opinions. You can't share hands with people.
I work in America. My hospital has a Department Of Diagnostic Medicine and I'm head. My job title is Pathological Diagnostician, it even says so on my office door!
Let the MDMA clear your system, stay hydrated, don't eat too many heavy meals. You'll be fine. Don't do stupid drugs, btw.
Depends. If you're black then they'll think you're the smartest ape on Earth and put you in a special zoo. If you're white you might land something nice. Shitty grades will not help you in college, though. You actually need a couple degrees.
Cold turkey = no more gobbling pills.
I've never intentionally killed anyone. What my TEAM does when I'm not looking is another matter.
Your epiglottis might be inflamed and swelled. Get your throat checked.
Nah, you have extra wisdom and you can legally get drunk in college. Hoo-rah.
You're a god-send, my man.
Using the computer, which causes you to use your injured hand, won't help. Go take a vacation for a month in a homeless shelter.
Hit limit. Hold on.
Why do you think I might have DID?
People get mad at me because of how aloof I am all the time, and that I never change. I am a very constant person regarding personality, so constant that it actually annoys people around me.
How long would Cold Turkey last? I've been a couple of days without the meds and it is NOT pretty. I hear it's around 2 weeks. and what are some good medicines or things to have on hand for a cold turkey duration?
Thank you OP. Of course I'll get more info and experience, but by your opinion I'd rather choose neurology.
Maybe I can start the first department of diagnosis medicine in my country. Thank you so much
Another thing, doc. I've been a smoker a few years and have been looking to quit, I tried and failed twice. I'm thinking of switching to Swedish snus instead, from what I understand it's supposedly a hell of a lot healthier and Swedish doctors often recommend it to people looking to quit. Would you happen to know if it's any healthier to use snus?
What kind of woman did you find that will let you suck her tits for milk? Can I get her number? There's no freaky chicks in my area, only vegan chicks who don't get their period because they don't get enough protein.
Nah just kidding! If you're gaining weight and your hair is thinning, it's possible that you have either hyperthyroidism or a vitamin deficiency. Go to the hospital for a blood test to figure out what it is, it's treatable.
Severe mood swings and sudden onset of euphoria. Neck soreness. Woozy feeling and delirium. Possible Lhermitte's sign.
Any noted mental illness or preexisting conditions?
I'm actually of German descent. Haha, get reckt jews.
I'm not a psychiatrist. Your symptoms are vague and not in my typical type of work. Go to the hospital, ask for an fMRI / PET and MRI all with video and sound stimulus to locate possible brain damage.
Sorry man, AIDS is AIDS.
Carry gum. Chew gum when you want pills. It'll last as long as you have gum!
Good luck, make me proud nigger.
Tell her to eat more meat and dark leafy greens, and to exercise more. Stay hydrated, and convince her that sexual intercourse is also a good follow-up. Thank me later.
Sidenote: Why do these threads always turn into "help doc im gay"
I smoke personally, weed and regular organic additive-free tobacco. Doesn't much affect me since I'm not into running or weight lifting. Snus is "better" than smoking cigarettes, but still not "good" for you. Haha.
Read this: http://www.webmd.com/smoking-cessation/features/snus-tobacco-health-risks
Actually good catch, I ignored the 2 year old part because I hate kids. Make that kid eat a damned steak and banana.
>Severe mood swings and sudden onset of euphoria. Neck soreness. Woozy feeling and delirium. Possible Lhermitte's sign.
>Any noted mental illness or preexisting conditions?
History of depression, 1 yr on zoloft, stopped at 19, is now 33. Has untreated psychological issues, rage issues. The period of mood swings was "unlike anything ever experienced, felt like was on drugs".
Forgot to add:
Visited emergency room for last fainting episode, had elevated heart rate, but attributed it to anxiety over the fainting eposide. Heart rate subsided over a few hours and was released. BP was 122/74
"perfect MCAT" my fucking ass. "pathological diagnostician" doesn't exist, what house does is glorified internal medicine, you dimwit. EVMS student here. Go hang yourself with a stethoscope.
not a majestic ape. was studying BME but have got to go back and relearn math 26 btw, integrals are easy but have got to go through the algebra and trig again b/c I misplaced it over the years. can't solve the problems in a reasonable time. Anyway 1 more years before bachelors. mostly C's in bio and chem. some B's many repeats many excuses. A's in Orgo and physics and most of the electives.
Should be Lib Art degree by the time I'm done.
A friend of mine has a tumor on the brain, it's malignant so I guess it's brain cancer, he's 17 and just figured that out. Does that mean that he will definetly die or does he has a chance? Also, how much time would you give him from what I've said? His doctor said he must enjoy life as much as he can, i think that means something.
Thank you again, doctor. Previous gif was Anal Drill Camp with Lisa Ann and this gif, I dunno the scene but I know the girl getting fucked is Jynx Maze
My girlfriend's company does custom monoclonal antibodies, almost entirely for rich old patients with hard-to-treat cancers. Does that shit ever actually work more than 5% of the time or is it just a last-ditch hail Mary snake oil for the top 1% with a foot in the grave?
Apparently you're in the wrong thread!
Might just be depression or bipolar disorder. Sore neck is probably from tossing/turning in bed.
Go to school
Makes me happy, keeps me happy. Has a little too much tar in it though.
Not willing to say
I did a total of eight years
Most likely he'll die. Dunno how long, I'd need to see some scans.
Never played it, didn't have money as a kid
Single but there's the occasional fling. Been dry for a couple days.
Pretty much it's a last resort deal. "Nothing is working, try this"
Sorry I was away on the phone.
Rifampicin, clofazimine, and dapsone will cure it.
I don't get people who say there's no such thing as what I do. There's a job for anything someone will hire you to do. I was hired to diagnose human illness, worked out a deal to start my own department and hire a team. Not too complicated really, just took a few weeks and ass kissing. Paid off big time.
OP I'm constantly tired, and get dizzy when standing up. I have sleep 15 hrs in 1 night and still barely had energy to get out of bed. also if been getting shortness of breath constantly and sharp pains in my chest.
> inb4 show us your college diplomas
> inb4 show us your hospital ID
> inb4 what's your name
> inb4 op can't inb4
I'm not giving you personally identifying information. This is /b/, we're all anonymous for a reason.
Probably dissecting cadavers and finding a guy with a micropenis. Haha.
Only when standing up? Does your heart rate shoot up when it happens?
Ah, didn't make the connection.
Sidenote: My wireless mouse batteries are running out, so I'm charging one while using the other, hahaha.
That sucks, but thanks anyway.
I've got another question, I made a simple schizophrenia test, and I'm likely to develop that. I smoke weed and I've heard that if you smoke, it might increase your 'disease' such as schizophrenia. Is it true?
Hey, Doc, give me a honest answer please.
In march I had to go through surgery, because they found something weird growing on my scrotum. Spermetocele I think it was called. Anyway, point is, somewhere I read there is a chance this could lead to permanent infertility, but the doctor treating me haven't said anything about it.
What are the chances I can get my wife pregnant, or am I permanently infertile?
I don't feel comfortable in my own skin. So, uh, where do I go from there?
Also, anything that might make it possible to gain at least one or two inches in height, procedures, medicine, exercise, anything?
Maybe you have Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. Go to the clinic or hospital and tell them about your symptoms. They should be able to help!
Came a few times when I was hung over but drugs during lectures won't help at all.
There's not really a good test for schizophrenia that you can do on your own. What is your test? Weed tends to increase the psychotic symptoms of psychotic disorders like schizophrenia or bipolar. My subtype isn't really affected, lucky me. But yeah it's true.
If you're worried you can get a sperm count done, most hospitals won't bother you too much. A spermatocelectomy will not improve fertility. Never heard of it ruining it, though.
Gotcha. Read first part of this reply.
Not really much you can do about your skin being uncomfortable unless you just..remove it all..don't do that though, you'll die.
Not much to do about height either. Wear taller shoes!
Hey OP, a few questions.
First, what can you tell us about your paycheck? Is there any disagreement between the physicians in the hospital about how much money each different specialist makes?
Second, there's this dude in /gif/, we call him the anus avenger, or the anal avenger. He keeps flooding all the anal threads there with quotes from medical articles about the risks of anal and says it must become a crime by law. Is there any good source of information we can use to stop that legendary troll once and for all?
If there's ever been any dispute over my wages, I've either not heard it or ignored it. More money more problems, but not if you have a beard like I do!
There are SOME risks associated with anal sex. If you don't wear a condom (who wears a condom for anal?) and your sexfriend hasn't properly rinsed out their ASSHOLE then any bacteria in their asshole can get into your urethra and give you a UTI. There's also a risk of anal bleeding from stretching, or intestinal damage. That's about it though.
He's just trolling because he got sexually molested in the butt-hoe and wants to ruin everyone else's fun probably.
The test is from a website, psychcentral. It's not recomended to use it as diagnostic, though.
Pic related, my results
Before the operation I read some articles on the topic. One of them said the tumour thing growing inside could press the veins and arteries, which would increase both the pressure and temperature, which could interfere the sperm production, or something like that.
Hence, I was wondering if there is a chance it could lead to a permanent codition.
Ahhh, online quizzes. Gotcha. These are mostly unreliable, but they can give a hint of "hey go get checked out" if it's necessary.
Do what the voices tell you!
I used to suffer from severe depression when I was a teen (suicidal thoughts, complete detachment from my peers, excessive video game addiction, the whole nine yards). I beat depression on my own (without the assistance of anti-depressants, unless you count vitamin D) and my mood has never been better. I'm still a bit lazy but am working a job while in school so I'd say I'm still not as lazy as a lot of people out there.
Yet I still am absolutely crippled by sleep. If I get a minute short of nine hours I can literally feel my eyes burn. It's fucking awful and it makes it very difficult to get myself out of bed sometimes when I need to, to the point where I have learned how to deactivate my alarm clock while still asleep.
Wat do (have)
It sux doesn't it? Know knowing what everyone says about this job was wrong? It's not all glamorous and money like they led you to believe. Your work goes unappreciated and you now have little to no life out of work... what do now?
Honestly? Do something outrageously crazy, like running around naked outside and smashing car windows with a brick and screaming. When cops come, lie down with your hands behind your back. You'll be arrested and processed through a psychological evaluation, at which point you explain "Hey, I'm homeless and I'm out of my anti-psychotics for my severe schizophrenia. I need to go to an institution and be medicated."
You'll get a nice place, they won't know who you are unless you've been fingerprinted, and nobody can charge you a dime.
Sure thing :)
Congratulations on beating depression. Did you use any secret cheat codes?
Sounds like you're sleep sensitive. Your pineal gland is what is, basically, in control of your sleeping patterns. It produces a hormone called Melatonin that helps you sleep. You can get supplements to help you sleep right, but you'll have to experiment with timing and dosage to find the right timing and amount for good sleep.
Your eyes might be burning because they're dry, so put in eye drops before you go to sleep and when you wake up. And don't stare at bright computer screens before bed, install flux (Google it) to make it better on your eyes!
I know that feeling. I don't talk to my patients unless it's super important, like I want their number or something because they're hot, so sometimes they never know I saved their life or ruined their family. You're sort of wrong about the no-life part, though. I go on /b/, /adv/, /sci/ and /wg/ a lot in my spare-spare time, but I also chill back with friends or watch porn. Thug life, na'mean? Get into weed and booze and you don't NEED a real life, haha.
Hi Op. So I recently started a job cleaning and setting tables at a pretty popular restaurant to help out with gas, rent, etc. I was expecting foot pain and possibly lower back strain, but i've experienced something totally different. Every night after work on the way home, it feels like icepicks are being pushed into my thighs. I talked to my general physician and she suggested orthopedic inserts for my shoes. Any advice? Any validity to what my physician is suggesting?
There's really not too many movies out there that properly portray schizophrenia. According to the DSM-RV there's really not a schizophrenia anymore, though. They've reclassified it as "schizophreniform disorder" or something (I was reading the DSM-RV the other day at work) that just contains all the old schizophrenia subtypes. For example, paranoid schizophrenia is no longer a valid diagnosis - it would be "schizophreniform disorder with paranoid tendencies" I think.
The movie was good though!
Wow good fucking response (no sarcasm).
Honestly my way out of depression was mostly through drug experimentation, primarily MDMA and hallucinogens. It really opened up my mind to how happy a human being can be. If anyone reading this is considering the same route I'd recommend that you only get high enough for the changed perspectives, so that you can retain them when you wake up sober the next day. Getting fucked up is only a temporary escape and defeats the whole purpose of these sort of drugs; you're better off drinking a fifth if that's your approach to all substances.
Also just not giving a fuck about things beyond my control and not holding the perceived weight of the world on my shoulders. It helped me out of my kiss-less virgin hole and taught me not to put the pussy on a pedestal, even though my relationship with women is still less than desirable. I also think the vitamin D helped also as I live in the PNW and we get little to no sun outside of the summertime.
On the topic of pineal gland, I've noticed a few times when I wake up after getting little sleep the night before that time would be moving more slowly/quickly (I play music on my speakers when in the shower and would there will sometimes be a noticeable change in the tempo). Should I be worried about that or does that observation simply further support your response?
Just installed flux, love it already. I think you might be right about the dry eyes but what kind of eye drops should I use?
seriously check your posture. Either you're cripplingly weak in your anterior chain or bad posture.
Check for mobility up and down the chain, and through spine.
if hip flexors > couch stretch
if ankles > probably gastroc
if knees > stretch above and below to loosen patella in capsule
tighten ass and abs when walking
not a doctor check a physical therapist to find root cause
> I've noticed a few times when I wake up after getting little sleep the night before that time would be moving more slowly/quickly (I play music on my speakers when in the shower and would there will sometimes be a noticeable change in the tempo). Should I be worried about that or does that observation simply further support your response?
That's normal, I play music in earbuds to help me sleep. Same thing for me. When you're sleeping + dreaming you're in a sleep phase called REM - rapid eye movements. When you wake up, you're basically cycling down and turning to "wake up" mode. It takes a few seconds, so you'll still experience oddities while waking up. It's the same reason that if I quietly wake you up, tell you something, and leave you to fall back asleep you'll completely forget I woke you up - you're still asleep for about 10 seconds usually.
Never broken into a home. If someone wants to lie to their doctor then they're killing themselves. I make that perfectly clear, bluntly, if we're stuck at a dead end. Ruins families, completes diagnosis. Perfect.
everytime i cry or feel intense emotional pain i have this weird sharp nerve pain that goes down my left arm, like pulsating but only whem im sad
also my feet feel like theyre really hot and burning sometimes, it neevr happens after exercise.
when i do rigorous activity like swim or run fast then i look into the sky i can see fast moving "shiny" particles in the air, its weird
Currently applying to medical school... I've never asked any of the physicians I shadowed this, but I always wanted to... Do you ever feel you sold out to a broken medical system? One which does not respect medical students and physicians nor the patients?
Basically, we created a new label and moved schizophrenia under it, with a few other things. It's definitely REAL, just a different name.
thank u based god!!
Sounds like a somatoform, not physiological. See a shrink!
I got what I wanted so I don't feel sold out.
How can I get a script for Oxy's easily? I'm talking 30's. Do I have to legitimately fuck my back up, or can I just break my leg or something? I love those little fuckers and they're hard to find. I have a sore back and I'm pretty sure my spine is a little off, could I get an MRI and go to a pain clinic?
what do you think about >>557811739 ?
How about you don't fucking try and scam narcotics? You'll ruin some poor fucker's career if they find out you're just an addict.
Probably a miscarriage depending on how early/late she is into the pregnancy.
like the arm thing it makes my arm like legitimately hurt, i havent told a doctor yet
its weird but it only happens when im really angry or crying hard and it doesnt bother me after
what about me seeing shiny things in the air?
also im a very stable bipolar, used to take depakote, seroquel and lithitum
btw ive met someone in your position!
I don't want to scam anyone. I'm not gonna go doc shopping. It's for personal use, I'm too selfish to sell to anyone and I wouldn't get more than what's prescribed. Can you tell me?
The phenomena I'm talking about occurs as late as 30 min after I've woken up. Sometimes I'll make myself breakfast and watch TV, then hope in the shower and I'll still notice it. Also is there a technique I could learn to trigger REM earlier in my sleep cycle?
only thing i drink everyday is water
ocasionally juice or pop
like once every week
but other than that i drink a gallon a day! (i know because i have to refill my container every night LOL)
Can you break down by percentage how you would broadly classify the types/characteristics of individuals who go into medicine? I've met many very down to earth docs, but also batshit insane ones on the other end of the spectrum.
Your crying could make your blood pressure go up causing pain in a vein or artery experiencing stenosis. It's most likely psychological, though. It can feel just as real as normal pain.
What was it like meeting someone almost as cool as me?
If you're using it for personal use, not for legitimate pain, then you're scamming. If I knew your name I'd put out a bulletin with your name and face as a DRUG SEEKER. Which means no hospital in your state will give you anything that can be fun.
Other than a prostate exam you fag.
Sounds odd but possible for it to be almost half an hour. No real way to trigger REM since you're asleep.
Ah. Best of luck.
LSD is nothing like schizophrenia, trust me.
No. Yes, there can be an immune response to the dead fetus in the body if there's any left. There usually aren't complications other than weird bleeding or cramps.
Do what you want, asshole.
I'd say 25% are nervous asian kids, 25% are psychopaths who want to do surgery on people and cut open dead people, 45% are annoying stuck up cunts, and the rest is me - I'm amazing!!
meh idk it kind of weirds me out
The guy was very watchful, like he paid a lot of attention to everything, kind of like me.
Like for some reason I cant really block out things and concentrate like right now i can concentrate on the cars driving accross my apartment complex, etc he woudl the same, I could tell everytime i talked to him
do you do that too?
OP I'm 27 and after 6 yeah in the muhreens I became pretty handy with a glass. I bindge drink with my buddies on the weekend and sometimes my liver hurts for about a day after? Should I be worried?
>~96% correct diagnostic rate
and how many of those were colds/the flu?
also House was only a good show for the first four seasons. five and six were watchable but still a massive step back from the first four while seven and eight were garbage that made me embarrassed for the entire cast. how about we talk about that since you're almost certainly not who you say you are anyway
My job requires me to pick out lots of details. Maybe a small thing will be a break in a patient's case!
5% of doctors are like me, according to my extremely complicated algorithm.
Haha. A dealer in my town.
Wear and tear or just dead skin buildup. Who washes their elbows?
Yeah! We call it NMDA receptor antagonist neurotoxicity, it's a form of brain damage.
Not too many occasions of that. Thought about a guy who had syphilis but refused to admit he cheated on his wife. He cheated on her.
Because they're incompetent.
Since like..2001? I dunno. It's been a while.
STOP. VitC won't help you, colds are viral and there's nothing you can do except tough it out like a fucking man. Stay hydrated and eat healthy so your body has the fuel and the means to make WBC's to fight the infection. Jesus.
Yes. Marines are faggots and I hope you die from binge drinking.
Drug addicts are never sorry.
Not too many, I hardly work in the clinic areas. Most of mine are strange shit like MS or GBS/MFS. Tough but fun. House sucked when Wilson got cancer.
MCAT + I'm smart + I'm ruggedly handsome and charming
I'm sure you are selfish enough to laugh at junkies who have to hustle and suck dick on the streets, while you prescribe oxys to old women with 30 year old back problems that you know damn well don't need them anymore. What's the fucking difference. You're a prick. You're a drug dealer with a PHD and you're selective about your clients.
Ah, transient apical ballooning syndrome. It's real and it happens, never seen it personally but I've read a LOT about it. Also called takotsubo cardiomyopathy.
First off, I don't prescribe medications to anyone unless they absolutely need them. I'm not a doctor that gives you antibiotics for your cold, I tell you to man up and fucking deal with it. I'm not some shitty over-prescribing doctor.
Secondly, I don't work in the clinic and I don't have to deal with assholes like you trying to steal narcotics or amphetamines that you don't NEED. Don't be mad at me for not fueling your drug addiction.
Kill yourself or the person you're in love with - works every time.
Alternatively, see a therapist. If you're obsessively in love, it's probably irrational and based on fantasy, a shrink can help.
I'm not mad at you for that, but you come on /b/ offering advice and expect no one to ask you something controversial? You should at least understand the nature of an addict before calling him/her a piece of shit and saying that we are "never sorry." Implying that we aren't human and incapable of remorse. Sorry for bothering you, I was half serious, and if you were willing to offer some advice is have taken it, if not so be it. I'm not a monster.
Just buy them illegally from some asshole on the street, don't get me in trouble at work.
I do understand the nature of an addict. My father was an alcoholic and a meth addict. I grew up with him, I learned what kind of monster he was when he wanted something. Don't you dare try and lecture me about my job, I take it more serious than anything else because people put their LIVES in my hands and I have to save them and find out what was killing them.
I can't risk my job by handing out fucking speed or vicodin to some punk kid who wants to bash his own knee in with a hammer to get high in his parents' house.
I don't care how you feel if you're the type of person who is perfectly willing to fuck me out of a job because you want to get high.
OP just wanted to say that you're a goddamn inspiration for us guys out there trying to make a difference.
As a current student of medicine, I literally hope to be in your shoes one day only after I'm sick of bartending and getting loads of pussy on an almost daily basis (being 22 years old and pouring drinks in the heart of Boston seriously has its perks).
Carry on, good sir, carry on.
P.S.: Marines are all gay especially since that cunt Amos took charge and decided that it was okay for wooks to be grunts. Look how long that lasted.
Thank you. I try to be a model to my employees/team members and for the students I sometimes host for.
13 years of smoking would do quite a bit of pulmonary damage, but not directly to your diaphragm probably. You might have done some damage to it from coughing from smoking or from breathing too hard.
You can do a lung capacity function test at a hospital to see how strong your lungs are and have an XRay / CT done to see if there are any masses. You will die, though. Just like my grandma!
i dont think its based on a fantasy
well not the second one at least. the first girl oh yea i hate myself for it. but i haven't seen or heard from her in a year. the girl im seeing right now is the one im sure im obsessively in love with its not at extremes yet i think.
Better to get to it sooner than later. It'd suck to find out you fell in love with someone because they reminded you of a TV character (happened to me, no regrets had sex)
I have the chance to go to school for pre med, or go from EMT to Paramedic to PHRN. I would like to do both. I'm broke so I need the money from working, and I enjoy prehospital care. what do you recommend/
i think the second girls because she reminds me of the first one. not sure whats up with the first one i just know i cant not think of her. like this is some extremely obsessive shit. for her.(the first girl)just jesus i think id be happy just to see her again. i think id kill a 100 guy to see her
EMT means you're gonna see a lot of dead people and not do much thinking. If you're a thinker and you enjoy puzzles and calling people idiots then go pre-med, if you get off on dead people go EMT.
Yes! Not always, though, which is why CT and MRI are also necessary. Here's an XRay of a lung tumor. Not mine, Google Images.
I get that a lot. Might mean a lot of things, hard to tell really. Mucous in lung, pinched nerve, etc. It'll go away soon most likely.
Lymph node getting painful from walking probably means you're a bit obese. Lose weight, or go to the doctor.
Make a LOT of cyanide, put it into a spray bottle, and spray people's food at delis.
>i think id kill a 100 guy to see her
In my field, we experience some weird people. We've come up with an abbreviation for your treatment - SATYF.
Can you point out all zero of the errors I've made? Or would you like to make a fool of yourself in another way?
There's always a few people like you in a thread like this. I'm used to it. I've had patients say "You're no doctor" because I didn't believe their delusions were true. Not everyone is being stalked by demons.
One last thing, though. How bad did real med school suck?
Pic related: it's me and I just drove back from Toronto.
what do you recommend I do then? I'm dirt poor. like, to the point where I almost didnt get accepted into college for my parents credit. i'm on a payment plan because my parent's credit wouldnt let me get financial aid or student loans.
therapists are expensive. besides ive been doing ok so far. cant really doing anything to hurt anyone. i cant let myself.
i know im crazy. ive ostracized myself from most people in school because of that.
Med school wasn't that bad. A few embarrassing moments here and there.
> "Here are the testicles"
> I snicker
> WHAT'S FUNNY? TESTICLES? WANT TO COME UP AND EXPLAIN WHY TESTICLES ARE HILARIOUS??
> n-no thats..okay...
Kill a couple guys and pay with their wallets
Alright, always good to rule things out. Lymph moves through your body when your muscles move, the lymph node in question might be inflamed and thus isn't enjoying stuff flowing through it. Feeling under the weather at all? Could have a lung infection possibly.
Sorry, but posting your email on /b/ is bad idea # 1. Can't email you, sorry. Post all your questions here and I'll try to answer them. I might even be back tomorrow after work?
Shut up and get help you idiot
captcha related: shrink necessary (HAHA!)
Hardy fucking har. Seriously, I've got this degree and I like the subject but I don't really know where to go with it. I'm going for entry level jobs for now because I need the experience and the pay but I don't really have any idea what options I have after that.
What were the next few things you did after your undergraduate degree?
Currently applying to medical school. 29 yr old. I am married, 1 kid, have a career and a masters degree. How do I go about dealing with 23 year olds fresh out of college who are still in a party mindset and never worked a real job or had real responsibilities?
Guessing not an infection, at least not one that is effecting day to day me, although I have been sleeping more/lacking energy to the point where I've tried compensating with red bull to no avail
im this ass
anyways what just happened is once in a while i get like that il do anything i need to see her i must have her ect.
my heads a bit like twitch plays pokemon before 4chan and reddit got involved.
I worked and kept going at school. All I've ever cared about is amassing as much knowledge as I can, and 8 extra years of school did it. People refer to me as the Human Illness Encyclopedia at work because I've memorized and learned so much about the human body and so many diseases.
Just keep trucking. Either you'll love yourself for it, and hopefully love me too :^), or you'll hate yourself for it, and hopefully only yourself.
Could be something minor unless you smoke. Otherwise it's just bronchitis and/or emphysema. Oh well.
Dress like you're on a higher level than them. They'll leave you alone if you're in a nice suit, shirt, tie, and shoes. It's how I maintain my amazing aura over my employees. Haha!
You are fucking nuts.
Not everyone is as dumb and autistic as YOU are, haha. Some of us value human knowledge and interaction more than image boards and hentai.
Because it's more important and I can remember my perfect MCAT but not my board scores pretty much
College was years ago, pic related
No. You've got something else going on.
See a fucking therapist you sick fuck
The whole "4th time" thing might be annoying though, Pink Jew.
Take it as it comes, you'll laugh at it when you're older. Also score some of that hot pussy before you get scared. Offer to help with work for POOSAY and you'll get laid all the time.
Anyway it's late as fuck and I'm sure all of you sociopaths have weird medical issues but I have to go to bed and jerk off.
Pleasure diagnosing all of your weird issues.
Cheers! Here's a bird covered in jizzum.
Get out of here and go see a therapist already!
>No. You've got something else going on.
Not myself, but someone close to me. He took it as far as to claim disability over it and it's getting to a point where the self-pity is unbearable.
i laughed i lost.
middle of the night. id need to set up an appointment anyways. and a few other things also i want to get a hunting rifle so i can taste that fantastic venison
Do you understand most of the things you do on the molecular level or is it mostly 'a treats for b so we give him that'? I know medicine is also a game of probability looking for the most likely suspect, but House claims to understand most things fully and thus can play with treatments.
i am 21y/0, smoking about 15-20 cigarettes, started 3 years ago, smokin pot too
- now i do have a pain on my left side of my chest
Is it possible to have cancer caused by smoking at this age?
Why do you guys think you're so clever-if the stereotype is true? Doctor are really shit-tier compared to actual intellectual professions like physics and math. We really enjoy laughing at you the same way we do a kid who has just learned to count and thinks he's so clever.
Hahaha I was just wondering that, I was in that topic. Any conclusins on that? You were the guy with the big fucking list of symptoms, starting couple of years ago with eyesight problems right?