Ask a father of two who's trying to kill his kids anything.
Because they've ruined my life.
I know it's not their fault as my wife and I were the ones who conceived them, but I'm far past the point of caring.
Because I was an idiot who thought he wanted children. Now my dreams are fucking over. I just want back some control over my life.
I smell troll, but in the event you are serious: It's better to just either give them up for adoption and put them in an orphanage or split. Seriously, if it's that bad where you want to kill children, just leave and never come back into their lives.
The oldest one is six, the youngest is going to be two in three weeks. I haven't been thinking of the hot car method. In fact, I've been slowly killing them by injecting loads of sugar/corn syrup and vegetable oil into all their foods. If you're interested in hearing more, I'll provide more deatails.
Actually no, my wife and I both agreed to having kids. She still loves them, I want them out of my life.
Get them to like energy drinks right
and then get a bunch of concentrated caffeine idk by crushing caffeine pills into the monsters or something and boom
i dont even know why i wrote this probably cause OP is a faggot
Actually, I'm fattening/sugaring up their food to dangerous levels. My youngest has currently been gaining almost lethal amounts of weight for a child under 2 y.o. and the doctor warns us he may develop diabetes by the time he's eight if he keeps up at this pace.
My oldest has out-assed five jean sizes in the past six months. He's currently 160 lb, only 4'8". The doctor says he's already developing the early stages of type II diabetes as well as a minor umbilical hernia.
But your energy drink idea sounds pretty good. I might try that, if I can sneak it past my wife.
This way >>558781969
So far it's working pretty well. My wife doesn't suspect a thing. She thinks they may have some kind of thyroid condition.
When she's not home for more than a few days at a time I always make sure to buy my kids some McDonald's everyday and made sure they eat it all. They end up getting really sick and sad about eating all that food, but they gain weight regardless.
too young but OP youre a fucking idiot why have kids im sure not all of a sudden you realized you didnt like being tied down...before you got married or had children you knew you had this goal or dream which was selfish and would not come true with having a family so why do it?
Honestly, I just want to see my children burn. I know the medical bills will probably bankrupt me, but the idea of me helping my kids dig their own graves with a knife and fork and watching their deteriorating health take its toll on my wife just tickles my jimmies.
Not until after the brats are buried.
Also, I've been tripling/quadrupling the amount of sugar in their juice/milk for the past two years. In addition to gaining ridiculous amounts of weight, along with cholesterol levels of seventy-year-old retirees, they also have cavities out the wazoo.
You know OP, personality-wise, you seem like a pretty cool guy. I'd probably hang out with you, if I knew you.
I mean, it's fucked up you're doing this to your kids. But, I know nothing anyone says is gonna undo the damage already done, or stop you from doing it.
Just wanted to throw that out there.
You better be behind a proxy or something because I'm about to fuck your life up. ip address, email accounts, credit/debit card information and more coming up in about 10 minutes. Also, I'm going to call the authorities. Fuck you for having kids then trying to murder them.
You damn right, nigga.
Also, fuck it, this is what my son's last hospital visit was like:
>take oldest to hospital after he out-assed yet another pair of jeans and gained a whopping eighteen pounds in one month
>wife and I accompany him to doctor's for bloodwork at hospital, since regular doctor's offices don't have the blood testing equipment my son needs
>new, oldish doctor sees my son, obviously disgusted
>wife is offended, I have to hold back my laughter
>doctor has to place stethoscope on son's stretch-marked back, belly, and boy-tits
>weezes as he climbs onto the table
>doctor draws blood sample after taking some measurements
>comes back two hours later after other nurses come in to measure son's height and weight
>doctor looks confused and shocked
"I recommend putting him on a strict diet from now on. At this rate he'll be diabetic in one year and he'll die when he's thirty."
>son starts crying like a little bitch
>wife screams at doctor for telling her what she didn't want to hear
>I kind of snicker, but nobody notices
>we've since put him on a diet of nothing but vegetables and rice, but I've managed to sneak corn syrup and heavy oils into all his foods
If medical bills will bankrupt you, and death bills end up coming up, wouldn't it just be wiser to leave your wife and just send child support? Also, what happens when she finds a stash of corn syrup and the countless bags of sugar bought.
Personal insults? Really?
So? At this point their life expectancies have already been shortened dramatically. Just think about it: because their daddy wanted to fuck with them, their existences will be dramatically cut short through no fault of their own.
I just hate them. They've come between me and my dreams of becoming a small-time musician. I want out of this life.
>obviously not a parent
>internet tough guy
she'll never find out. I keep it all in my safe.
Also, the medical and death bills: fuck man, some people just want to watch their enemies burn. It's a very primal satisfaction
Holy shit OP you are fucking pathetic. "but but it's about the music maaaan." Hurting your own kids because you made the wrong choices and life an being a small-time musician is the stupidest shit i have ever herd.
oh wow op is so edgy wow.
you're not edgy op, you're just a fag and nobody cares about your little ruse for attention on 4chan
you want to be edgy? join a vault gang queer
tunnel snakes rule
What do you play that would want you to kill your kids to make more time for this? Jesus christ, that's like a man killing his girlfriend so he could play more xbocks.
Are you telling me anybody would think severe health problems were the same thing as murder? I don't think that's likely.
Actually, I'm trying to be a harsh-noise musician. Not sure if that counts as hipster or not.
No, you don't.
Being a musician is a well paying job if you can get the right venues and sponsors. And that's just small time. That could be a hobby, which unless you are a shut in and lazy, you could practice in your free time instead of being on here. BIG time musician are one of the highest paying jobs out there, since the music industry is a high market consumption. On top of that, if you didn't have the common sense to know that getting married and having kids was going to be a huge responsibility and take up a large amount of your time, that's your own damn fault.
That being said, I ask you once again to kill yourself.
This made me laugh. My brother did something very similar to this. Only it was to play more PS3.
You obviously haven't dealt with my kids. They're annoying as hell on top of being a drain on my energy and resources.
Well if you keep all that shit in your safe, and someone finds receipts and shit they might have a lead to you, but that's only IF they are suspicious it was a murder. And that won't ever happen. I like your style man. Sneaky as fuck.
Society in general blames anything bad that happens to children to their parents, you would get time for negligence at the very least, Have fun recording your screams while Jamal rapes you in prison, faggot.
>I'm for 100% real
I'll follow you anywhere.
It's not an opinion its a fact fuck ass.
>HURR DURR IMA KILL MY KIDS SO I CAN BE A MUSICIAN
>ITS ABOUT THE MUSIC MAAAAN
>YOU WOULDNT UNDERSTAND MY MUSIC ANYWAY
>IM SUCH A POOR POOR BABY
OP is the very defination of a hipster faggot who is having a midlife crisis,
But instead of owning up to his mistakes and being a man about things he is trying to off his spawn because "ITS ALL THERE FAULT I CANT PLAY MUSIC MAAAN"
Holy shit OP you are a fucking man baby
>implying "neglect" will land me in prison
At the very worst, my wife and I might get hit with fines for some kind of "abuse" or neglect. But you have to keep it in perspective.
Sometimes, in order to get away with a big heist, you have to take a small hit.
>"to know that getting married and having kids was going to be a huge responsibility and take up a large amount of your time"
Read the fucking post, you mongering fuckwit. It's all your fault, and you are being a beta cunt for making other people suffer because you are a waste of life.
One more time, say it with me:
>You obviously haven't dealt with my kids. They're annoying as hell on top of being a drain on my energy and resources.
I actually lol'd
literally every parent on the planet would say the same goddamn thing, but you know what they wouldn't do? fucking murder them
>Personal insults? Really?
i know, right?? thats the last thing i expect to see on /b/, what is this world coming to when you cant even be safe from personal insults in what i used to see as a haven.
Seriously now, you may not get heavy into it, but, unless you suck, you can get some local reputation if you go to more suited areas for performing and stuff. Being middle aged isn't really an excuse for not moving.
You're going to fail as a musician and die alone. Then every particle that constitutes your existence will split apart and nothing about you will be remembered for more than an hour as some decrepit shitty musician that killed his own kids.
Have a good one OP hopefully God isn't real because I'm pretty sure he'll give you a good buttfucking for this
If they are any bit unlike you, they could get in shape themselves. I'd be better than just killing them. You go to jail, your wife is scarred, and two lives are lost. All because you were too much of a bitch ass faggot.
You can not care what anyone has to say, considering you're not some. 16 year old trying to rile up /b/ (which I am most certain of). In the very rare case that you're telling the truth the answer is simple, there will be justice. And a pathetic jail sentence will never compare to it. Hahah, catch a reads: Nsa repentance
>implying im not a single father with a house and a great paying job.
Try again faggot.
You just butt blasted because you cant deal with the life you made for yourself.
What is the advantage, if any, to getting weighed underwater??
Oh, where have I heard the story of a man getting caught, because he posted in a forum, before?
How long did it take you to realize your regret?
Isn't your wife just a little bit suspicious?
Do you plan on staying with your wife?
Do you think a lot of parents are also like you but just don't talk about it?
Wow, you sure are big into petty insults.
my sons could eat your kid for breakfast
Unfortunately no. I don't even have recording equipment at this point because recording equipment would "cut into the kiddie's food budget"
Why? That would only serve to incriminate me. That would just make me open-game for all you marolfaggots.
I started regretting my life around two years ago and started this whole "murder" business
my wife isn't too suspicious about me, just worries about the kids. she has a job with a concrete distributor and is thus out-of-town a lot
As soon as the kids die we'll probably divorce. Not many parents stay together after the death of their children
And yes, a lot of parents probably have thoughts like these from time to time.
Actually I was skeleton-mode throughout elementary, middle, and high school. And for your information I have mommy issues :)
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Ha first of all
>she has a job with a concrete distributor and is thus out-of-town a lot
that is part of the plot of an american dad episode
Next thing EVERYONE HERE THINKS THAT SOMEONE ON THE INTERNET IS TELLING THE TRUTH
This now a thread about anon's cute little baby. Anon, your daughter is adorable! Please post some pictures of her?
Cat was keeping you from becoming small time musician?
"My dads cat was keeping me from being a small time musician, so I wanted to kill it brutally! Im just selfish like that."
don't fucking kill your kids you weak faggot, if you want control of your life then divorce your wife or go see a therapist you shitlord
And stop saying "I want to watch my enemies burn" Your life is worthless, your children life is worthless and your wife's life is worthless so why dont you put cyanide into your wife's, and kid's drink then hang yourself.
This reminds me of that woman who poisoned her kid to death with sodium. They figured that shit out quick.
Anyway, this is so slow you'll never reap the benefits as either CPS will take the kids or your wife will leave with the kids and you'll be paying for them anyway.
It's obvious you're kne dumb motherfucker. You should just murder/suicide yourself and your family and clean up the gene pool a bit.
Anons, it is you who are pathetic...
You really think a doctor would say a kid was going to die by 30 with the kid in earshot? You really think his wife wouldn't see corn syrup lying around? Your jimmies have been rustled, and it was all but a ruse
well all i have to say is if you go through with it you're a fucking retard if you seriously think no one's going to find out. Jesus christ, seriously, what world do you think you live in? Children don't just die and no questions are asked. You must have the foresight of a 13-year old. You're a freakishly narcissistic prick lacking any kind of common sense. They WILL find you, they WILL figure out the truth, and any hope of fulfilling your dreams will be destroyed. If you want to be a small-time musician you've got more chance leaving your kids the fuck alone.
As a medical technologist (i work in a lab at a hospital)
>comes back two hours later after other nurses come in to measure son's height and weight
we run tests in large batches
my chemistry analyzer holds 200 samples
we load it with blood drawn during the course of the day, then run the test cycle
takes about 4hrs for the machine to finish
that's why we fax a copy of your blood work result to your doctor
it take about a day to for us to get them
but you could be in a smaller hospital that test individual patients
like i said high doubtful
OP i cannot talk you out of killing your kids, but I can tell you that becoming a musician thays successful is very short. EVEN IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE KIDS YOU WOULD NOT BE SUCCESSFUL. like shieeet what's wrong with you? i can understand killing someone but your own kids? I dont have a social life because of my son, but my kid is my social life because i love him and see him as a little me, but i can make him better than me. If you still want to kill your kids then i send all my regards to your children and am sorry your wife had to marry a ignorant, crazy motherfucker such as yourself
morals aside, this is literally the most retarded thing you can do. If you're planning on splitting up with your wife anyways why not just fucking stop killing your kids and fucking leave so you can pursue your dreams rather than whining about being middle aged like a bitch and remaining there getting getting older until your life is a complete fucking waste and on top of that you have your children's blood on your hands.
By everyone's judgment, OP, you are a faggot.
just going to say man, that's pretty strange that you feel you can't be a small time musician with kids. I know plenty of local bass/guitar players that are seriously making good money playing small gigs and doing lessons and whatnot, and have a few kids at home. You just have to make it your goal in life to be a musician, and you'll make it. Nothing will get in the way.
eh im all up for free posting and shit but seriously, your kids? uhh i know what its like to have a dad who hates u for "ruining his dreams" my dad just divorced my mum and made showed judge he was unfit to have any visitation rights
FREEDOM FIGHTER BOMBING
GODLESS WESTERN PRESIDENT
SUBWAY SARIN GAS
>corn syrup in a secret compartment in my gun safe
When did this become a YLYL thread?
You need to be thrown in jail. You made kids and regretted the decision, fine. That isn't their fault. Leave your kids with your wife who still loves them, and get out of their lives, stop doing this to them.
assuming you're really telling the truth here, this is actually a pretty flawless plan. obesity in children is pretty common now and most would just assume that you're kids got "bad genes" from the parents. you might be hated by everyone moral, but you're one sly motherfucker
OP is truly a faggot. Due to his own actions, he is pushing off the responsibility for his actions onto his kids, making them a scapegoat for his own issues. You're robbing your children of a long life. Why OP? The answer is because you can't accept what you did to get to this point. It's easier to say "oh it's because of the kids" than to say "you know what, I fucked up and I take responsibility." Listen to yourself OP, taking the lives of your children who love you unconditionally and will be forever gracious that you brought them into the world is despicable. Why kill your kids? Because they cost money to take care of? Because they can be immature and annoying? Killing your kids def isn't the answer. I mean if you want to kill someone, make it either yourself or your wife. You two fucked up your lives. It's time for you to take responsibility OP. Time to step up and be a man. Your kids don't deserve punishment for your mistakes. Also, it's really a lose-lose situation, you go to jail, and you ruin the lives of everyone close to you. I hope you make the right choice OP. Don't fuck up your kids lives because you fucked up your own.
Flawless plans don't usually include posting your intentions on the internet.
negro, we're not here to talk about OP's life decisions, we're talking about his ongoing plan to kill the majority of his family. obviously he's not gonna take interest in your criticizm
As funny as you're being right now, as a parent, I find it despicable for anyone to harm their children. As a parent, we accept responsibility for taking care.of these kids, through the good and the bad. Just because you're tired of your kids doesn't mean you should kill them. That's the definition of scum. OP is trying to hide from his own decisions.
Also 2edgy4me. You worthless sack of shit, you don't know anything about what it's like to have a child, a piece of you that you created. I know sitting behind that computer screen in your mom's basement makes you feel tough. But imagine if your mom got annoyed at you and decided "Fuck it imma kill that little faggot"
yeah, yeah, yeah
responsible parent bullshit
it's not like i support what he does, i'm just saying that if, in fact, this is real, i think he's not gonna get into any trouble for it.
Somebody s.w.a.t. dis nigguh. Pic related.
>Unfortunately no. I don't even have recording equipment at this point because recording equipment would "cut into the kiddie's food budget"
When did your interest in noise start? Did you used to make some but kids got in the way?
I have a purpose in life. I bust my ass at work to provide for my crying, screaming, tantrum-having, annoying as fuck kids. But you see here's the thing, I accepted responsibility to take care of them and I love them dearly. Can you say the same about your life? How am I being a faggot for getting mad at someone who is trying to kill his kids.
Saged, reported, hidden, called the cops, called the Fire Department, called pizza hut, called the USN, called the Royal Navy, called the Red Army, called the FBI. called the CIA, called Interpol, called the KGB, called the USMC, called the USAF, called the Royal Air force, called MI 6, called Scotland Yard, called the US National Guard of every state, called NYPD, called Obama, called the Queen, called Putin, called David Cameron, called every Governor of every US State, used my time phone to call Winston Church hill, As well as Hitler, Stalin, Theodore Roosevelt, George Washington, Montezuma, ever Caesar, and Gilgamesh, called US Army, called British Army in every era, called every phone sexline, called papa john's, called the US Coast Guard, called my State Senators, called my Senators, called every republican in the US, called Dr. Who, called the Pope, called my local Gang lords, called the State Patrol of ever state west of the Mississippi, called all of my local news channels, called Star Fleet, called The Sun, called The national enquirer, called CNN, called Scot Pelly, called Steven Colbert, called half of the Mexican Drug Cartels, called Nintendo, called the Japan Maritime Self-Defense Force, called the head of the Illuminati, called ever free mason, called bilderberg, called my neighbors, called the mayor of ever city in France, called my mom, called the Emperor of Man, and called every school district in Canada.
yeah whatever, newfag
This. You think they aren't going to notice the ridiculous amounts of sugar/fat/other shit in their bodies when they do autopsies or even before hand?
I'm probably getting trolled out the ass and I'm hoping so at this point because people cannot be this stupid.
>I've been slowly killing them by injecting loads of sugar/corn syrup and vegetable oil into all their foods
Thread's over. Everybody go home.
yeah really it doesn't matter just kill them. easy.
ok i know there's like a 90% chance i'm being trolled, but if that's no the case
You discust me OP, just fucking man up, don't you dare harm some kids who got nothing to do in you being a faggot who can't even accept the consequences of your own acts, grow some fucking balls faggot!!
Just get a divorce and start over
Why not just make an accident happen? Something that would take them both out. Have the fat one take off it's seat belt, unbuckle the car seat on the littler one and drift into the other lane. Your wife will hate you, but it will be an accident, and as long as you're buckled up and it isn't too serious, you should get out of it ok
Are you aware that posting shit like this on the internet means it can be used against you in court should you follow through? Are you really that much of a dumb nigger? Is your lawyer jewish?
>mom is a mean fucking bitch who constantly drinks and never eats/cooks/sleeps/cleans
>be sleeping one night after she beats the shit out of me
>she stumbles into my room, I'm scared as fuck
>feel weird as hell as she stumbles onto my bed and laughs, reaching under my blankets
>she starts diddling me and calling me a good boy
>does this for nights on end while dad is out drinking with friends
The police like to make shit like that their business.
Perhaps if you had been man enough to prevent your kids from being fat little shits, and teach them the ways of the force properly like a good dad, you wouldn't be in your faggy little predicament.
It always intrigued me.
I remember a friend of mine explaining when we were little how he would often listen to the dryer at his house or the sounds of crickets or the sound of rain and listen to it like it was music.
And what is music but controlled sound?
Can you not read, asshat? I already told you, I'm the one making my kids obese in order to kill them.
She did it kind of lightly at first, then a bit more vigorously. She was never "hard" about it, though.
I remember the first night she did it I just listened to the neighbor's washing machine whirring and ticking away in the apartment next door. So I guess that's similar to having "harsh noise".
Then I guess I'm not a true man then.
Also, fuck you you chubby-chasing pedo. I'm not giving you photos of the kiddies.
Even then, they wouldn't be pretty pictures. My oldest's just your typical fat-kid.
The youngest...well, have you ever seen a baby with fucking stretch marks on its back?
No i'm not a pedo, I just want to see if OP is a bullshitter or not, you also seem pretty protective of the kids you hate.
Oh and have you considered "losing" or "leaving" them at the park?
Ahh dude. I know that feel. When I was little I used to listen to the white noise the tv made and I'd go into a trance. Here, I dabbled a bit in production. Give me a sec, I'll find my old page with what I got.
I like it, although, I think that it would be better with more theatrics, do you still like your wife, if not, fuckin execute them, and blame the fucking media, claim that fox news maid you a nazi, make it razzle and dazzle, if you want I can hook you up with rpgs crocs anacondas and komodo dragons