Pull up a chair, order a drink, and tell me your story.
The Anon Bar is open
i have a lot of useless, needless anger, directed within and without, bottled
Yes I'll have a triple gooberberry sunrise.
Can i get a tequila? Feeling like a failure, no one irl finds me desirable. *gasps* last time i kissed someone was 2 months ago, that person was drunk, didnt remembered. You know what? Make that tequila double
I quit drinking almost a year ago and I find it very difficult to get with women without alcohol.
Currently I'm fucking someone no-strings who is not quite up to my standards, and I'm starting to get back together with an ex-GF who is physically 8/10 but a real nutcase. She fucked me over hard last year.
It just isn't the same without a buzz on.
Ugh...dude, fuck life sometimes, ya know?
This is all I am ordering for now. I may go with a pizza afterwords.
YO! WERE'S MY OTHER BARTENDER! NEED HELP!
you motherfucker i don't care for your advice but dig this...
i'm a 37 yr old college student who just spent 5 fucking years taking like 90 credits and that earned me the "Arizona General Education Certification" and two overlapping Associate's degrees and i also took six courses to earn a "technical writing certificate" and ended with "highest honors" because my gpa was 3.803 and i'm in phi theta kappa and so i go and get in to the university of arizona and i have to be a "returning freshman" and start with a gpa of 0.25 because i got at least one D 19 years ago in some english course and have to just raise it to a 2.0 and then my history is wiped and the gpa suddenly jumps to 4.0 if the four courses required to raise it are an A but then even though i'm a return freshman for gpa status, i'm officially a junior so that means i DON'T get locked in tuition for four years--they pick and choose rules that suit them in that case--and i applied for financial aid and today i learn that i'm eligible for 18,000 a year but because i never registered with the faggot selective service 19-12 years ago, i'm not eligible so i had to send a letter to the faggot selective service and they'll contact the school. my issue is COMMON. i got my first driver's license in az at age 18 and it's supposed to automatically register you with the selective service. if that bullshit had gone through 19 years ago, i'd have free college now; the most it could cost me as an in state resident is 12k a year and they granted 18k.
fucking bullshit. it MIGHT work out but that's the fucking bullshit vertigo i got.
I have my own delicious bar.
Okay what that was, was an American Boilermaker and some Mozzarella sticks with Marinara sauce. Could I get some fried mushrooms and Jalapeno poppers for the rest of my table? The lady would like a regular Coke the blonde gentleman would like some Gin & Juice and our Libyan friend would like some Budweiser.
Want some money? Help me bartend.
Nice and hot.
Here, drink up. Sorry for the wait, busy night.
>stupid spics would actually try this
>mfw this is real
Coming right up.
One second for everything else mate.
One American Boilermaker. fried mushrooms and Jalapeno poppers, regular Coke, Gin & Juice, Budweiser. Anything else? Kitchen sink maybe?
Neil Everett ordered a fucking Jack and Neil Everett wants it now
FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK. my intenet connection is getting choppy, OP. may disappear...
It's been an honor serving you all.
And hurry up! I'm running out of pics of Neil Everett not smiling...
Can someone through this fucker out for $100 bucks?!?
Hers you drink, thnx for waiting
All out unless he>>558811481 wants to share.
Thank you sir. For your troubles
I will have a tall glass of therapist with a shot of Jack. I will tell you what though, the only problem I have in my life is that my cheeks can't come day enough.
good on you mate,
Body bag pre-chilled?
Happy b-day mate. Scary how i knew it was even though you didn't tell me, right?
Whatever... this bar sucks anyway.
And whoever owns the blue Hyundai Sonata I just took a dump on the hood of your car and pissed on the driver side door handle
Sorry we're running low on therapists, but heres a yokel.
No. I don't drive that piece of shit. I drive a blue Hyundai So........ wait.......
Double shot of Wild Turkey and a Budweiser please
i apologies, hes new here.
Here ya go.
It's the thought that counts. Much appreciated.
heres the wild turkey, I'll be back in a sec with the Bud.
well, i admit you areright. so just do this:
pick your biggest glass, fill it 3/4 crushed ice, then half of the glass jägermeister, rest gets filled with energy 1/8 ,bols blue 1/8, lemon 1/8 squash, tonic water 1/8.
put a big straw in. dont mix it.
Thanks for delivering op. I'll need another in a moment.
Sorry mate, we're all out of bols blue.
Heres a glass of tap water.
Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck I am SO getting a DUI for this. I'm outa here...
SORRY! Heres your order, took a while to get her.
let me get a pitcher of PBR, it's been a long day, and it's gonna be an even longer night.
> Pull up a chair, order a drink, and tell me your story.
> be ten seconds ago
> be going down the free way
> be going 35 over
> see a cop a cop fly by you like you're standing still
> have my night completely changed
>no one irl finds me desirable. *gasps* last time i kissed someone was 2 months ago
i woud lik two chikens, an do ye hav ne ale?
Glenfiddich 18, if you have.
or if you can recommend another fine Single Malt Scotch Whisky....
Outlook on life is getting better. The pessimism is slowly wearing away, and I understand the importance of faith, for myself and others.
I don't pray or anything, or bow to god, just faith. optimism minus the control.
drunk off my ass. wife is mad cause i went out to drink after a 98 hour work week.... i want to be here...
I'm more of a wine and whiskey guy. You want something strong or light?
i sed two chikens and ale and i won't say it again
Yep. That's a good one.
Wow trips, and here is that payment good sir
Whole bottle will tip ya 'cause your new to it.
thats it, fuck the bartender
Fonseca Bin No. 27 Port, and leave the bottle.
Tried to score some coke earlier. Got ratted out to biz partner (and ex-GF of 14yrs) by a "friend" I asked to check on availability. Clean from medium level dope hook (non-IV) for four months, only the rare small sample since then. Suspected there might be spy/informant network reporting back, and there was. I pissed away maybe 2k over a year. A year in which she bought a boat and Harley. I fucked up, but damn...sorry that I considered an 8hr holiday...that's not even my DOC....oh well.
mother died when i was 7. dont even remember what she looks like but still visit her grave. joined the military out of high school. saw combat in two tours in iraq. now 27 alcoholic working a job im way over qualified for because my anxiety is through the roof and refuse to see doctors.
It's all good. You guys don't have to go home but you can't stay here, so get the fuck out and let the man clean his bar. Don't make me push you out the door, it'll only be embarrassing for you.
i am tarth of brianne. i am search of man who murdered your bartender. willing to hunt the savage down, an bring him to justice, for a few drinks of course. do ye hav ne ale?
I'll buy a round for you faggots
captcha: anyanal McCon
Bars closed bud, come back tomorrow. I got this under control already.
They can stay.
Hers your ale, dude called himself the hound.
I'd like a pitcher of stella artois please kind sir.
new girl started working at my restaurant recently, shes very flirty and is always giving me these delicious looks. she gave me a ride home tonight and we were having a nice time and i asked her out and she said she needed to go pick up her bf.
im going to keep on pursuing her but god damn i got pissed, how do i proceed? slowly but surely or do i go head on?
Alright I fixed him but he needs some rest for a while.
I've already found him, made sure he isn't getting back up..you did want him dead right?? I do tend to get a little ahead of myself sometimes.
Wel, i'd call that a successful thread. All we need now is an extra hour in the ball pit.
i found this chickenhead with a kidnapped underage girl, i said "the girls coming with me" an he proceeded to kick me in the cunt. i pulled out my podcock, activated it over 9000, and beat him senseless. i left him there to die slowly, and think hard about his actions. ye know what he said? i should have fucked her bloody when i had the chance
the lannisters send their regards for the murderous rogue, will help clean your establishment, an they always pay their debts
I had it all. I was the closest thing to a real life Van Wilder you can imagine. two days away from getting a golf cart, the wildest parties, notoriety with the ladies, and the admiration of one girl who I didn't really understand. I made all the mistakes, blamed all the people, and I lost it all. So here I am living with my mom, about to loose her house, no job, no money, mowing lawns and doing odd jobs around town for cash until somewhere hires me. Degree in Political Science, experience in almost everything except genetic engineering. I feel empty and meaningless without her, ikkiN. I'm fighting my inner demons to get her back, she turns out to be my future, my reasons for living, my way to a family, to be a father and a loving husband and I may have lost it all. I don't even know if she knows any of it. I mean, yeah I've told her, but I don't know if she really gets it. We broke up because of the stupid mistakes I made in college and now I'm fighting day to day to pay my family's bills, keep my sanity, shit I've even prayed from time to time. I have been humbled in a way that my pride has been broken and I don't care who knows about it. If I'm a faggot then I don't care. I love her guys. And I'm literally doing everything except I can think of. She gives me hope for an amazing future. What do you live for anon? what inspires you? what happens when you realize its all because of you that you are the way you are, that things are the way they are because of you and you're choices? Every girl I look at all I see is her, I've had a girl, solid 10 in my bed naked and ready to go. I couldn't do it man. I told her she had to leave and she slapped me, but I just couldn't do it. Going from the campus playboy to wanting to be a one-girl man is so bizarre. If I could go back and do things differently, I would. She's the love of my life and I may have lost her forever. If you believe,pray for me /b/.If you believe in love, chaos, if you believe, send me some good vibes. -xaM
So, there was this cage with five monkeys in it. In the middle of a cage there was a ladder. At the top of the ladder, there was a banana. Soon one of the monkeys climbed up to the top of the ladder and ate the banana. The four other monkeys immediately were dosed with cold water.
This was repeated a few times, until the monkeys caught on. They started beating up the monkeys who tried to grab the banana. After a short while, no monkey tried.
Now one of the monkeys was taken out of the cage and replaced with a brand new one. The new monkey, not knowing the rules, tried to climb up the ladder and grab the banana. The four more experienced monkeys beat him up right away. This oly had to happen twice before the new monkey stopped trying to grab the banana.
So they kept replacing the older monkeys with new ones. Each time a new one entered, it tried to grab the banana. Each time a monkey tried to grab the banana it was beaten up by the others, even the ones that were not present during the original water dosing.
After a time, all of the original monkeys were replaced. In the cage there now were five monkeys who sat in the cage, not trying to grab the banana, and beating up any monkey who did. And none of them really knew why.
I'll have a beer.