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ITT: Times you were in severe danger. I'll...
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ITT: Times you were in severe danger. I'll start

>be me, 16
>3 years ago
>on trip in East Africa
>tension there is high at this time
>driving to American embassy
>suicide bomber from terrorist group "Al shabaab" an heros across the street from us
>shrapnel flies everywhere, one piece goes through the car window and cuts my arm
>we speed out of the area and drive straight to the hospital
Never been in severe danger but I'm interested in answers so bump
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I'll bump with peaceful gifs/pics
Thanks anon
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No problem
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>Be me
>Be walking back from corner shop after getting some jam and shit for breakfast
>Zebra crossing. Red light for me
>I wait
>Start to walk and just like in those cartoons when the character puts his foot out, cars start coming out of nowhere
>So I'm standing in the middle of the fucking road and two sports cars start to come my direction
>Some street race or some shit
>It hits me that I have to run
>Fucking cars coming down fast, and the sound of a teeny v4 is getting close and fast.
>Too fast. I tripped near the sidewalk and a few people start to come around to help me
>Cars pass behind me
>Don't know if they were close or not, but judging from the reactions the people around me were giving, they were pretty close to my body
>mfw near death expierence
>mfw i never go out of the house again
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Underage fag
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That must have been terrifying haha

I'm glad you got better (:

Thanks for the bumps
> be me, 15
> holiday in Wales
> my and dad go off to the beach
> find a cliff and climb to the top
> dad's taking pictures, I'm bored
> dad sits on this little ledge just below the cliff
> bound over and jump on the little ledge
> it's filled with moss, slip
> land literally within an inch of the edge
> mfw
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How'd your dad react?
>be me
>be 21
>see feminist march
>be rational
>go over and explain the realities of rape, how people are still responsible for getting drunk
>one feminist comes up and says the police should side with her
>I say actually no, if she goes on the internet she'll find many cases of men being falsely accused and it ruins our lives
>she and two friends start provoking me
>I try to hit one but miss
>a crowd of them start pushing me and calling me a "nazi"
>they're probably good to kill me for being a man, which in their minds means rapist
>I keep trying to explain myself but they won't listen
>manage to escape
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This happened to me. Pretty much the same type of fence like in this picture

I was pretty sure I was going to die
Sleep son, your newfag is showing.
Being deployed to k-bar
Is this real? Sorry but it sounds made up haha

Greentext! Story time!
One time there was a cockroach in my room. I saw my life flash before my eyes, to be honest.
Please post your story
He pretty much just gasped, pulled me back onto the cliff and then resumed taking pictures. And said "Don't tell your mum this happened"
Kinda short one
>Be me, 16 at time
>Have obbession with being rad and snowboarding
>Live in Cali, we have this area called Big Bear
>Giant snowy mountain, perfect for snowboarding, snowing most of the year
>Dangerous as fuck roads up, all on the edge of the mountain, halfway up they can get covered in Ice and sleet
>We decided Chains over the truck tires will do it
>Go up hill fine, Snowboard, fuck a chick or two, best time ever
>Really really snowing hard last few nights we're there
>People say a bit dangerous to go down the paths but W/E we got chains
>Start heading out, hit the slopes early in the morning before leaving
>Heading out, going down the roads
>Its like 11PM and nobody is there but us
>Drifting off into sleep while they drive
>We hit black ice and Skidded to the rail
>Big as fuck Truck, F150 I believe
>Rail Bends as both our right side tires grind against it while sliding downhill
>Aunt (driver) frantically hitting the brakes with the force of Zeus' own legs
>Rail breaks in a small rusted segment, truck's front right tire is Off the edge as we stop from the tire getting stuck
>Truck is actually starting to bend the rest of the rail, slowly is slipping off
>Aunt screams louder than anyone I've heard
>We all scramble out of the truck
>I slip while stepping on the downstep of the truck
>Fall face first, KO'd
>Wake up about an hour later
>Truck actually didn't fall off, just front two tires off the edge
>I got a nasty concussion
>Apparently while KO'd I started to slide down and almost went under rails
Also, my tooth broke.
>Late night
>Walking home from gym
>Reach small intersection
>Like 3 cars
>My turn to cross
>Taxi does a left hand turn from in front of me, turning into the street im trying to cross
>Walk calming, he's coming from in front and there's light, so he can see me
>What the fuck
>He's going way too fast
>Is going to run right into me at this pace
>Moment passes
>Realize he's not slowing down
>Do some sort of awkward hop forward because by the time I realize this he's basically done the turn
>Narrowly avoid being hit
>Turn around
>MFW the cab slows down once he's done his turn and almost stops
>wtf does he expect me to do?
>Continue walking home
>Fucking people can't drive
I think I would actually pee myself if something like that ever happened to me lol

Reckless drivers are the worst
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Sounds like he TRIED to kill you.
Underage b&
>>Be 15
>>GO to friends house for party.
>>She lives in super ghetto with mexifags
>>It be 2AM and we're piss drunk and high
>>We think it good idea to go walking to friend's house
>>We round the corner all happy and hear a car coming behind us
>>A red truck full of 8 mexifags pull up next to us.
>>They jump out and run towards us.
>>We tell the girls to run so they run
>>Mexifags come screaming at us with fists up
>>It's 3 against 8
>>About three mexifags per each of us
>>We start getting wailed on and fucked up pretty badly
>>I'm swinging for dear life
>>One of them takes out a tire wrench
>>I grab his bald head and throw him at fence spikes next to me
>>His cheek gets caught in it. He starts yelling screaming and crying.
>>They both go to him trying to help
>>I pick nearest mexifag fighting my friends
>>I kick him squarely in the bottom of his spine
>>He goes down and screams and cries
>>They back off a little
>>WE make a run for it and hide in a random backyard
>>We spend the next 4 hours hiding from them as they cruise down the street looking for us.
>>One of us leaves to go throw big head sized rocks at their car
>>Car starts coming at us
>>anonhero throws huge boulder rock (like 10 pounds) through driver window
>>It hits mexifag in the lap and he crashed into a brick wall
>>We run back home and lick our wounds.
Alright. When I was young (~14 y/o) I loved climbing trees. And I was pretty good at it.
> See large tree
> Climb in the tree
> At about 12 meters high (that's about uhm 38 feet?), move horizontally on branch
> Branch feels really dry and dead
> Branch breaks, fall all the way down
> Get my ass penetrated all the way up to my spine with pic related

I don't quite remember the rest. Just some fragments my parents were trying to get me off. Some images I was soaked with blood, my parents were driving on the highway to a hospital.

I was in the hospital for a few weeks. There's still a huge scar on my ass, but lucky there is no permanent damage. If I felt a little different, just half an inch or so, I would be in a wheelchair right now. Makes you appreciate life a little more.
>Out for a walk.
>See a flower.
>Orchid of some type, very pretty!
>I decide to walk over and bend down for a closer look/smell it.
>The cliff I was walking by crumbles and a large boulder lands where I was standing when I had spotted the flower.
>Keep walking.
it's not called a v4, anon it's just a 4 cyl
You're wrong.

can you read you stupid nigger? Like anyone cares. Go get mad about it somewhere else
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> be me 3 years ago, 16, New Zealand
> passed my license, got my first car
> twin turbo 4wd 5speed subaru legacy, 280hp
> be carrying bro, bros hot gf and hot gf's friend
> threw my car around corners regularly squealing tyres
> this time, be going way to fast 120km/h around a small suburban area with windy roads marked 30km/h
> lose control, 4wd car goes fully sideways
> slam into the curb, do a 180 and fly back onto the road on the other side
> missed the tree by 2m, if i spun against the tree we probably would have died

learnt my lesson. Car was thankfully only had a broken rim and busted all the engine seals out, costing me 2.5k to repair. Been treating her like a darling ever since
police let me off for driving after hours, passengers, manual car on auto license and reckless driving. Would have lost my license and faced grands of fines. Asian bro cop let me off with a warning

those 3 never spoke to me again though
> pic related, after repairs.
how horrifying
how high was the fence?
So which gang are you in?

Oww. Thanks for sharing

You really really got off lucky
The fact that your parents had time to take pictures and laugh at you
No gang.. just skivvy high school stoner kid
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I guess about 2 metres, that's like 6 feet or so. It was part of a old border fence between Belgium and The Netherlands, from the times we still had actual borders between those two countries. There was a lot of rust on it, so that needed to be cleaned as well.

It feels good to be alive /b/ro!
he said he'll be 18 in November. you're probably fucking 12
Tower of God (ongoing tho)
>be me today
>at McDonald's
>nigger walks in
>grab my shit and get the fuck out of there
>crisis averted
There are no 4 cylinder engines in a v formation, dick shit. They would deconstruct. They are built in an "inline" formation. Lern2car, lern2engineer, and lern2physics, faggot
That's crazy! Glad you got out of it unscathed
What are these then? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/V4_engine

Though I agree that he was almost certainly wrong about the cars being V4s.
>be me, 19
>5 years ago
>driving in my car obeying street rules
>suddenly i turn my head just to see a truck speeding towards me
>it hit my car i'm trapped in metal.Feel something dripping.Not sure what it is. Oh it's my blood.
>It takes fireman about 15 min to come. And another 10 or so to cut me out. Adrenaline wears off and it starts to hurt bad.
>finally on the way to the hospital. There is still a piece of metal in my lag.
>mayor surgery
>i live but have lots of new scars. Scared to go to the beach because it looks so bad.
>Later i find out that the bastard truck driver was drunk and had only minor injuries
Fair enough, but they are still very different engine architecture from your traditional 90 degree V formation, and requiring special balancing components as to not vibrate themselves to death.
close call!
hunt him down and break his legs. And go to the beach after because who cares the beach is fun as fuck
lol he was not being chased by a 2014 porsche or any car from 1920 - 1960
did the mayor perform surgery for you?
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>be 3, alone in room in the middle of night
>have 42°C+ fever and not breathing anymore
>unconscious and having convulsions
>suddenly mom shoots awake in her room on the other side of the house and just knows there's something wrong, even though I wasn't making any kind of noise and there wasn't anyway she possibly could've known
>get saved

If she hadn't magically woken up somehow knowing something was wrong I would've died.
>mfw I owe my life to something supernatural
>buy a super sport motorcycle
>top speed 186mph
>get it modded to go faster (new pipe, power commander)
>go on freeway and do 180 (too scared to go faster)
>drive down 35 mph speed limited streets at 130mph

4 years and still not dead
>be driving to work
>notice i need gas
>get off freeway
>see sign that says "East Oakland"
>semi worried since loleastoakland
>stop at gas station
>notice crackheads and other blacks mugging me
>mean mug back cause i look like a skinhead even though not white
>pay and be pumping gas
>all of a sudden hear "pop pop pop poppop"
>notice basketball americans scattering
>notice basketball american running at my truck
>jump in bed of truck and grab machete i have hidden
>pull that fucker out
>basketball american sees machete and runs away from me
>scramble out of bed, finish pumping gas and speed away from gas station nearly clipping 2 other basketball americans
>never again

Fuck Oakland, and fuck the rich kids that live in the Hills trying to act hard cause theyre from "Oakland".
Naw nigga, East Oakland is a whole different place.

>first car
>twin turbo
>120 km/h in a 30 zone

I wish you had died or gone to prison, you got off way too lightly.
>8 or something
>local highschool opens pool to public for small entry fee during summer($0.50)
>about a mile and a half from house
>got done swimming with my older brother(14?)
>walking home and black guy pulls up in car and rolls down window
>says our mom asked him to pick us up and would drive us home
>brother says we're fine and will just walk
>On the way back ask brother if he had any idea who that was

Our mother dated a lot of black guys during that time and I didn't even bother to remember their names or what they looked like.
If my brother wasn't there my dumb ass probably would have gotten in and got raped, murdered, and maybe even had my organs sold.
Weird.. awesome though!

I wouldn't push your luck

That was smartly played on your part
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mothers intuition
>be me
>working night shift in a store
>black man walks in
>he buys some stuff then leaves
still have nightmares about it
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I live in CHIRAQ motherfucker. Everyday I wake up not shot by gangs or cartels Im lucky.
Columbine. Rather not talk about it. Probably gonna anhero soon, shit's got me fucked up.

I have more if you guys wanna hear.
>be me, 15
>we are walking on the street, group of 4 teenagers.
>one of us throws a rock to a car.
>He backs up and follows us.
>He manages to corners us, nowhere to go. (Yeah, we were that stupid)
>This piece of shit pulls out a gun.
>He accidentally shoots at us
>Everything slowed down, it was fucking weird.
>He missed by inches
>Yells some nonsense and leaves.
>A friend of mine started crying.
on phone no green text.
4 nights ago
Get done watching some movie with roommates
Roommate sees niggers outside our house
He chases them
Be white bitch alone in livingroom
Nigger by picture window
Grab hockey stick
Could have gotten attacked
Call police
Roommate runs back screaming
Police come
Can't find niggers

We stay up all night
Got any stories?
I got two where one isn´t really severe danger, but I was 4 years old back then so I thought it was.

>be 4 years old
>walk home with grandma
>balance on a wall with a fence on top
>fence has like 3 cm long spikes on top
>end of the wall, have to jump down
>upper arm got caught on one of the spikes
>cut´s 3 cm long into the flesh, pretty deep too. Even can see a little bone
>see wound
>no pain, but start crying like a 4 year old
>grandma grabs me and runs to the nearest house
>slap plaster on it
>already calmed down
>walk down the same way again
>search for the giant piece of flesh that must have been ripped out of me
>couldn´t find it

Back then I didn´t realize that the wound was just gaping and appeared to be missing a piece. Had to be stitched.
bump for more stories
Yeah man
we need more fence penetration stories

it's all ogre
And another one, I can´t remember how old I was back then, probably around 14-15 years.

>go to school by train everyday
>almost at my station
>we had old ass trains back then
>you could open the exit doors anytime even while going fullspeed
>wait in front of the exit
>some others wait behind me
>they start going like "I bet you are too afraid to open the door bruh"
>they get annoying, open the damn door while train is still rolling into the station
>damn that thing is still pretty fucking fast
>a second later I feel someone push me outside of the train
>put right foot onto the ground
>instantly feel the law of inertia feeling like my foot gets ripped away under my body
>do a belly flop onto the concrete
>manage to absorb most of it with both arms
>still hit head but not much
>stand up, train still rolling
>these guys behind me get out
>laugh at me but at least ask if I´m alright
>yeah I am
>proceed to walk to school
>arms start hurting
>arrive in school, first lesson
>can´t even hold the pencil
>both my arms got contused
>couldn´t do shit for a week

only happened once to me, but I´ll snap you a pic of the result.
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well it didn´t turn out that awesome, but whatever. It´s only quite faint visible anymore so I had to shoop it a bit more visible.
>Slightly North of La Paz MX.
>slide 50 ft down shale hill
>had i slid 5 ft further i would have fallen off 100 ft cliff near beach

fuck cliffs man
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sword-shaped, not that bad looking

>be 6
>go swimming
>sit at ledge
>ass slips
>don't know shit about swimming
>not the kiddy pool
>underwater, eyes open
>see uncle, only adult there
>grab hairy leg
>seconds pass, doesn't pull me up
>reach for brother, pulls me up
>be me
>just moved to Dantooine to look for some jedi twi'lek pussy
>huge war going on between sith and jedi but idgaf
>about to seal the deal with some washed-up dancer
>see the leviathan come out of hyperspace
>planet is bombarded
>narrowly survive

True story too.
>be 12
>walking to school
>come to traffic lights
>push button and wait for green man
>cars are flying passed
>see truck coming
>still green light for him
>he passes through
>green man flashes for me
>walk across road and safely get to school

mfw if had i been 2 meters in front of where i was when truck passed i would have been squashed. close calls ayy lmao.
you're an idiot
hes making fun of the antifeminist shitheads that can be found on this website

This is bait
That whole chiraq shtick is so obnoxious and that retarded graphic is even worse
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Is that a fucking roof rack?
>be me
>4 years ago
>10 months jail
>2 large inmates become violent with shards of glass just 10 feet away from me, stabbing an inmate
>guards initiate lockdown, and end up leaving me in a locked 50x50 mini dining area with 2 large armed inmates for 30 seconds to a minute.
>stabbed in the back of right shoulder, manage to maneuver away.
>Maybe pheromones or some shit.
>be me
>be niggest of nigger
>jumping fence to break into randoms home
>random dude spots me
>scared and fall backwards
>fence spike through asshole
>mfw first anal
>mfw prison anal wasn't as bad as I thought it would be when I first arrived
>mfw no face
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>Teahupoo Tahiti
>Couple of years ago, may-june
>Too big to paddle into
>Tow surfing for the 3rd time in my life
>get a few wide waves, out on the shoulder
>Tow for a bigger one, let go of the rope
>The wave is coming straight west (bad at Teahupoo)
>Realise it's too late to pull out
>hesitate, sucked up the face, pitched into reef and rolled
>hole in head
>3 ft deep water draining, 5 wave west set incoming
>18ft+ (maxing)
>wake up in hospital
>was resuscitated and copped 114 stitches

On a side note I continue to tow surf and had a 3 minute hold down at jaws last winter
>be me
>hit by four cars
>fallen off a 2nd story roof
>severely concussed by 40 pound weight falling on crown of head

I honestly have no idea how I'm still alive.
Looks like Wanganui Pak n Save carpark
Also been T boned by someone running a red light at 35 mph
>drowned but still alive

sounds like a plan
>be me at 18
>pass out with stomach pain
>get to er
>spleen ruptured
>transported to better hospital slowly cause icey roads
>spleen ruptures harder
>lose 3 liters of blood during rupture and emergency operation
>in hospital for 9 days.

Shit sucked.
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>be 9
>have epilepsy
>swimming class
>get attaq while in the water
>sink to bottom
>have swimming teacher save me from drowning
>best friend swimming next to me traumatized
>mom was watching from a bench on the side of the pool
>mfw i traumatized 2 people severely and half of my class
>mfw im normal and outgrew the epilepsy.
>implying CPR isn't a thing
>implying god didnt invent cpr
>be 12
>summer boredom, so I have extra retarded ideas
>decide to go on bike and have a few rides down a hill, because it doesn't involve physical activity
>forget that there is a road underneath the hill and remember only when it's too late
>hope there is no car in the moment, since it's usually not very busy
>there is
>somehow survived the crash with few scratches, bike is little bent
>thinking about it later, there already was fence to prevent cyclist to go straight into that road and if I crashed in them I would either have few broken bones or would observe aerodynamics of landwhale calf from 1st person POW
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Since the first one was so good, I'll tell of my second tale.

>be me
>5 years later
>still on Dantooine trying to hook up with grieving widows
>meet 10/10 super hot sexy badass bitch in the Khoonda plains
>says she's trying to get a group together to scavenge from the old enclave
>say I'll join her
>go down
>start grabbing shit
>weird bug things come out with humongous cocks and start penetrating any hole in sight
>the whole group darts out back towards the entrance
>the bug cocks are swarming towards me
>I run down a few halls and find a room
>lock that shit down tight
>wait for them to come back for me
>after a couple days a group of three women get me out of there
>drown in the pussy

My life is quite interesting as you can see. you could learn a thing or two from an old coot like me heheh.
>be 1998 or 1997, me around age 15
>sailing in the Mediterranean with family and friends
> going maybe 1,5 - 2 knots max
> middle of nowhere
> decide to go for a dip
> grab a line, tie it around my waist
> get towed by the boat for a good 10 minutes
> decide it's enough
> start pulling myself back
> suddenly a jellyfish hits my leg
> the pain :S
> continue pulling myself back
> climb out
> seconds later we pass through a swarm of them
> would most likely die due to anaphylactic shock
> never did that again in my life ...
>bug cocks

pics please
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I'll let you see it for....say.....a thousand credits, it's well worth the money I assure you.
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well shit
>be me, last summer
>gonna be a sky diver
>on 45 second delay
>everything going great
>time to pull
>OH SHIT something is wrong....
>spinning out of control dowards Earth
>reach up, grab risers, give them a pull
>well shit now it is worse
>spinning even faster
>FUCK! fuck! fuxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxk!
>on SOS so only one handle to pull
>cut away main parachute
>arch like a mother f0cker
>time stands still
>reserve opens
>landed on target
>find freebag and main
>even kept handles
>went better than expected
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Sorry buddy, you know how it is, play some pazaak?

I got great drinking stories.
Do you still sky dive?

please, do post them
>Playing play some xbox
>Mother screams
>Dad runs to her
>4 nig nogs with guns in our house
>Shoots my dad in the chest (He lived)
>Beats the shit out of me, keeps yelling they are going to kill us
>Locks us in a room
>Gang rapes my mother while beating the shit out of her
>Hear her scream repeatedly
Joys of living in South Africa
Honestly, mine's pretty shitty. Not sure if I was in real danger, but was pretty scary at the time...

>Be me, 18
>Drunk in Rome
>In some shit bar in the basement of a hospital
>Can't find fucking toilet
>Finally find door
>It leads upstairs to hostel area
>Trip on stair (I'm really drunk) and drop beer bottle
>Explodes all over the place
>Hostel owner bursts out of this door to the side with a fucking huge knife, shouting at me in Italian
>Don't have a clue what he's saying
>Say "toilet"
>He keeps shouting, approaching me with enormous knife held in front
>Gets closer
>Close enough to stick that fucking knife in me, he shakes his head and points back to bar
>MFW I avoided a stabbing by repeating the word "toilet" like a tard
>be me
>be angry as Hell
>going home
>crossing a street
>it was green for me
>suddenly, in the middle of the street, I sneeze hard
>I say put for 2 seconds, dazed by the huge sneeze
>then a car woops with about 60mph three feet in front of me
>holy shit wheredidthis guy came from
>suddenly realise that if I hadn't sneezed, I would have been dead
>going home happy that I'm alive
Who makes an entire sandwich to eat, then only takes 3 bites and puts it on the floor outside for a million flies to eat? Thats not peaceful its upsetting.
>be me
>move to Onderon (dantooinian pussy has dried up)
>be in the cantina drinking and playing some pazaak
>2 hands up, 400 credits on the line
>server droid drops my drink
>kick him in his droid balls for being a bucket of bolts
>pussy bitch droid apologizes because he knows I can kill his weak ass whenever I want
>some mercs walk in the front door
>start blasting up the place
>hit the deck faster then my left hand pulls my lucky pazaak deck
>blaster fire everywhere
>going right over my head
>old guy gets hit
>the mercs leave
>the guy takes my credits and splits
>I tear the droids head off in anger and slap a bitch
Fuck, in basement of HOSTEL
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donating blood
didn't eat or drink anything
one nurse gives me a bottle of water because i look pale
put water in mouth take one drink and pass out
im drowning due to water and spazzing out

also i almost died from drowning on dry land
i wonder how the local news would react to that

>and thats how i traumatized all the first time blood donators
>Type in Lolita in imagefap
>Microwave HDD

When telling a story don't use related jargon. You need to use words people outside of the sport can understand.

Fucking nigger.
yep, best thing I have done to date.

>of landwhale calf from 1st person POW
>point of whale
>1st person point of whale
>Be me 8 years old
>Thought i could swim so i jumped in the pool
>It was siesta, nobody was near
>As all air left my lungs i sank to the bottom
>I miraculously jumped from the bottom and got a hold of the pool side.
>Been affraid of water ever since
This isn't a surfing forum, feggit.
Why were you angry?
>a few months ago
>driving in the far left lane on the highway, going about 80 mph
>approaching a car in front of me travelling around 70-75, so I check my blind spot to make a lane change
>when I turn my head back around, the guy in front of me is slamming on his brakes
>I instinctively slam on mine, and can immediately tell I'm going to hit him
>my retard ass decides to try to make that lane change in that split moment to try to avoid collision
>locked brakes + turning the wheel = epic fish tail
>I skid across 6 lanes of heavy traffic, coming within inches of hitting people, and nearly flip over just from skidding sideways at 80 mph
>end up rolling down a gravel embankment next to the highway
>shit my pants, get out and check if anybody crashed (no one did), and check on my car (it's fine)
>drive up the gravel, and continue home on surface streets
I had a pretty fucked up experience at a car accident recently. Probably too late to say it now.
He seemed to be angrier then a starving Kath Hound.
Are you actually retarded? What part of the story didn't you understand. Dumb cunt.
I really forgot.

Woah woah calm down there, you two are acting grumpier then a pair of hungry Hutts.
I dont know if I was in severe danger but this happened.
>Go to dentist when 14
>Dentist looks at my teeth
>Never really brush, maybe 15 times in a year
>Eat candy, drink soda no water, and all the shit they tell you not to eat
>Well son, its been a while since you last came in
>This tooth was supposed to get a cap but now its shit
>Were gonna have to take it out
>OH FUCK.jpg
>Dont worry this injection of morphine into your gums while make it feel like nothing at all
>Awww yea, fuckit.jpg
>Go begins and the pain is unbearable.
>Oh well we can do another injection
>Fuck you this shit still hurts
>Oh well, we will have to kill that nerve even more
>3 or 4 more injections and this fucker yanking at my molar
>Fuck this nigger, Close eyes at the pain.
>Thinking itll be over soon
>Finally like 15 mins later he says its over and I hear the clink of the tooth into the sink
>Open eyes,
>Vision is blurred to shit
>Close eyes and rub them
>Open them again
>And its less blurry but wtf everything is upside down
>The dentist says its over and I can get up now
>I tell him everything is upside down and he laughs
>He helps me up
>I try to walk to the door and trip and smash into some silver hard trays with the utensils on it
>OH FUCK NIGGER WAT R U DOING?1/1 says the dentist
>I make it to the doorway and use it to prop myself up
>I say again that everything is upside down while shaking my head to see if that works
>Nurses come to help my walk into the doctors office
>Walking with eyes closed cause these hos dont work
>Ok anon open them now and try to walk
>I stumble forward and somehow made a 360 circle and into the wall
>This fall made me dizzy as shit and I throw up everywhere
>Idiot nurses and doctors finally realize I aint playing around
>I lay in some bed of the clinic til my mom comes back to pick me up
>I try walking down the hall again
>Nope.jpg fall again and throw up some more.
>She gets me to the car and I sit with my eyes closed all the way home.
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>be 16 at the time
>going to the local shop to buy milk and shit
>have to get money out of a cash machine right outside the shop
>get out £50 when some nigger puts a knife in my face
>never been in that kind of situation and just jump towards him like a charge with my shoulder
>manage to knock him over before some bystanders hold him down and call the police
>thank them, buy my shit and go home
>she and two friends start provoking me
>I try to hit one but miss

C'mon son.
>sucked up the face
>3 ft deep water draining
>5 wave west set incoming

I understood most of the story except these three things.
Probably not deadly but it was so fucking scary i was shaking afterwards
>Go to beach because fuck yeah
>Get in water, cautious because terribad swimmer
>Deny requests to accompany friends into the deeper part because of shitty swimming ability
>Continue hanging around like a tard
>Suddenly notice something wrong
>Standing near rock area where one of the hugest motherfucking rips was appearing
>Standing in waist deep water and vacuum levels of suction are going on
>Literally lose shit and start flailing towards safety
>me ,20 year old, 5"11 male 80kg, well built
>Was being sucked into the rip with 0 fucking swimming ability
>Eventually sucked in about 20 meters, but suddenly a huge wave pushes me outside of rip range
>One of the scariest fucking things i have ever experienced.
I know landwhales are retarded subhumans, but they are still considered as normal persons
>be me
>been roaming around the galaxy for a while
>come across Nar Shadaa
>went there to stare at ass and bet on swoop races
>gorgeous 10/10 woman in robes walks into the betting area
>get to talking, place some bets, have some Juma juice
>slightly tipsy
>ask what she's doing in Nar Shadaa
>she whispers in my ear that she's a jedi
>ask about the force
>asks me if I want to "feel the Force"
>tells me to close my eyes
>she tells me to clear all thought and to try and feel the life around me
>I stretch my hand and grab her cooch
>she pulls out her lightsaber and almost cuts my head off
>I jump off the platform and land in my buddy Jhunta's speeder and swoos the fuck outta there

Nar Shadaa is such a great place, once you get past the smell...
shitty story but
>look both ways
>see car coming quite a distance away but the driver will surely stop because she's looking right at me and she has plenty of time
>almost finished crossing the road
>turn my head and realize she hasn't even began breaking even though she's still looking straight forward
>jump out of road, car misses me with a few centimeters
>she finally breaks and has a breakdown
>fucking bitch

now i don't cross unless the cars have come to a complete stop. life's too precious and fragile

tl;dr you can never be too careful in traffic
He went up the vertical part or face of the wave and got slammed down.
He was in 3 feet deep water, which is shallow, on coral which is sharp and the water was going back out to the ocean, meaning human cheese grater.
There were 5 more waves coming at him from the same direction the one that just raped him came from.

You don't have to be a pro surfer to understand this, go to the beach sometime.
Apparently, the majority of /b/ was almost killed by nignogs, cars, and water.
And pointy fences in 4th place
>majority of /b/
>140 posts

>Be me and friends
>around 10 years old
>Playing arcade games, located outside of shops
>Using rogue + juggernaut
>a fucking car crashed right into us luckily we ran just in time
>glass and candy all over the ground
>I've already run down the road, friends in opposite direction
>mfw in shock almost crying
>mfw lady who crashed into flees the fucking scene, leaving her car there
>Indian lady in shop helps me out
>mfw after the whole ordeal friends mock me because I was helped by an indian lady wearing a Hajib? (idk what they're called)
>"Hey anon, did you get to see the ninja's face? huehuehuehue."
>"What's it like meeting sub-zero hue hue."

Huge wtf moment for me, also dad said I wasn't allowed back there. I used to go there before and after school though lol.
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>Be me 19
>About 5 years ago
>Walking home from a pub in downtown Oslo
>Suddenly hear loud bangs in the middle of the street 20 meters in front of me
>Dozens of people running around like headless chickens
>Think it's firecrackers, don't see what the fuzz is all about + drunk and stupid
>Stand in the middle of the street while people run past me
>See man limping towards me
>Look at his leg, bullet hole with blood running down his leg
>"Oh fuck" run towards him and his gf, take them to some steps on the street corner.
>Turns out he was just smoking minding his own business when he got shot. His first visit to Oslo..
>See several people lying in the street covered in blood.
>Loads of police comes, I run over to one of the cars and lead them to the guy. I get written up as a witness before I leave for home.

Turns out some nutjob African got angry because he was told to get in line like everyone else in the jacket queue. He called a buddy, told him to bring a gun, got the gun, went back in the middle of the queue, and started shooting around himself while spinning, like the retard he was. Was later caught and got 8 years. 3 people got shot..
your story could have ended after "Africa"
norway's detroit
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wait a second, 8 years for shooting 3 people? i've heard about norway's liberal "justice" system but this can't be right...
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>23 years old
>confused for days, go to the doctor
>tells me I'm fine
>develop a high fever, go to the doctor
>tells me I just have a cold and says I should take aspirin
>fever continues for days, my doctor tells me it'll pass over the phone. He won't even have me visit him
>develop psychosis, start doing weird shit
>kick in all the doors, everyone in the dorm wakes
>they try to stop me, I somehow believe they're attacking me and I kick their asses and break someone's arm (he fell on it)
>police comes, I won't listen
>by this time I've destroyed every object in the dorm and the shared areas and I'm ripping off the wallpaper
>I attack a police officer, throw him through a window (there was no fall, the floor extended behind the window)
>they start using pepperspray and tasers, I struggle
>I continue attacking them
>they send in a dog, I throw the dog out of a second story window (it survived, though with some broken bones)
>they shoot me in the legs, I don't even feel it
>they shoot me in the chest, arrest me
>later I heard that it took 30 minutes for an ambulance to arrive
>I spend seventeen weeks in the hospital with five bullet holes: two in either upper leg, three in the chest
>lung damage, heart damage (bruising), aorta damage, liver damage
>institutionalized for a year, even though the psychosis cleared up after treatment for cryptococcal meningitis
>charged with assault (ten accounts), let off because of the infection but the case took years to finally be withdrawn
>no one will hire me
>can't be physically active due to injuries

This is how I became heaven.
>Be going to work in Berlin, icy as fuck
>Have recently partially torn hamstring
>Crossing road
>crutch/leg gives out, slip
>out of nowhere Audi TT speeding
>Lying in road, car sees me, breaks and skidding everywhere
>Can't get up fast enough with fucked up leg just flatten myself and close my eyes, final thought is "I can't believe I'm about to be killed by a fucking Audi"
>Huge screams from crowded street
>Open eyes
>Car sideways across road, legs under, body out
>Can move toes
>Can move legs
>I'm fucking fine
>Slide out from under car
>Go the fuck to work
Fucking subi, are you a dirty maori or something?
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>be me
>temporarily staying at the Dreshdae colony at Korriban (I'd heard from Jhunta that sith women are fiesty in the bedroom)
>head to the cantina, as I usually do on every new planet I go to in search of dank pussy
>see 10/10 woman, with a nice tight ass and amazing tits
>offer her a drink
>says sure
>get to talking
>eventually convince her to gimme a bj in her quarters at the academy
>getting the best bj in the galaxy
>ugly motherfucker angrily storms in the room, red lightsaber lit and ready to slice my cock off
>he stretches out his hand and tries to choke me
>throw the slut in front of me
>for some reason the guy's eyes are closed
>take advantage of the ol' switheroo and get the fuck outta there and hitch hike a speeder to the next colony
>tfw I got away with fucking a sith's wife
>tfw I got him to kill his own lover
>tfw my cock is harder then a proton power converter in the middle of hyperspace travel
>be me
>24 year old female
>walk toward building
>approach door
>suddenly a 6 year old boy appears
>he holds the door for me
>frightend as fuck
>turn around
>run home
>avoided being raped by privilege

sometimes i still wake up in the middle of the night, haunted by those pictures. i will never have a normal life again.
I was homeless for 5 years,I got a few stories

>Looking for a place to set up tent at night
>Thinking about squatting when I see an abandoned building
>Pretty remote area,no noise,nothing suspecious
>Place looks like it's about to fall down on me
>Too tired and it's damn freezing so I don't give a fuck,setting up a bedroll and fall asleep
>Waking up,it's still night
>Hearing something,like people running
>Follow the noise,see 3 guys laughing
>Saw a homeless laying near them,can't really see
>"FUCK,YOU KILLED HIM" one of them yelled
>I don't even get back to get my stuff,I run out of there
he did get 8 years. it's rare that anyone spends more than 13 years in a norwegian prison

norwegian serial killer Arnfinn Nesset got sentenced to 21 years for killing 22 people (confessed to killing 27), but was let out after 12 due to good behavious. he got a new identity after leaving prison

you basically don't get punished here. not for rape either
>you basically don't get punished here. not for rape either

Yet the crime rates are pretty low. Moreover, recidivism is rarer than in most other parts of the world (US, UK, etc.).
Similar to mine

>At beach in Galveston Island in texas.
>Low tide reveals sand bars you can stand on 50 ft out.
>Try to find them during high tide
>Start feeling a gentle pulling in the water but assume its just waves
>Keep trying to find the damn sandbar
>Turn back to shore and see the 40+story tall hotels now barely taller than an inch on the horizon.
>Spend the next hour and a half swiming with the shore trying not to hit the current that pulled me out
>Land on the beach and just lay there exhausted for a half hour because at parts I had to fight a current that locked me in place for almost 10 minutes
>Fuck that sandbar
Go on...
>be mechanic
>working with racing cars
>have to refuel car during pit stops
>we just updated the car with a 2015 test aero kit plus a new refueling system
>this system seems retarded, the refueling port on the car is slightly bigger than the hose you put in it, so you can bend a little the hose and the fuel still flows
>this is too leaky
>old system was bad, but at least didn't leak so much
>time to test. car comes to the pit, hot as fuck
>exhaust of the car is red hot, brakes radiate a ton of heat, tires are smoking
>fuel time
>as the hose is halfway in, fuel starts to flow
>a lot of it flows outside.
>brake cooling duct is just in front of my feet, right under the stream of fuel leaking out of the hose
>decide to stop, pull away with the hose.
>fuel hits the cooling duct, fumes don't like the heat of the brakes
>bigass flame ball: car's rear fender is mostly on fire, my hands and forearms are completely on fire
>luckily the fuel hose didn't light up, there are 200lt of fuel om top of it
>extinguisher guy puts out the flames
>ended up with just mild burns on the hands, thank god i was wearing fireproof stuff
The life of Jorran is lived by many, known by few, and appreciated by even fewer.

I keep the ol' spirit alive with a good drink, plenty of credits and beautiful women.
That doctor fucked you right in the ass. What a nigger
>Tfw on phone
>be me, 15, at summer camp.
>one night, all the campers pull an all nighter in the huge log cabin lodge thing
>3 am
>I sit down on a windowsill on the second floor
>fall asleep
>wake up in urgent care with broken arm and leg, 60 stitches in skull
>fell backwards out of the window
>Fell ~15 feet
>be 16
>got into the habbit of daydreaming while walking home from school
>I'd been walking the same route home for years, >on a certain set of lights I knew the green man would show up 6 seconds after the traffic light turned to orange
>for years just start crossing the road as soon as the traffic light turns orange
>one day, day dreaming as usual
>my body is on auto pilot, I'm really not thinking about anything
>start walking as soon as it turns orange like I always do
>some dude tries to speed through the orange light
>heading straight for me
>mid walk I instinctively form a C shape with my body
>I my arms arc over the cars roof while the side mirror only just catches the loose fabric of my shirt
>I cotinue walking, still kind of in a trance
>stop at the end of the crossing! snap out of my daydream and realise I almost died
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if i was a realtive/husband of one of the victims 8 years for this fucker would feel like an insult. killing him when he comes out and spend like 3 or 4 years in prison if they catch me afterwards sounds like a good deal to me.

>would enter bloodragemode
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>cryptococcal meningitis
>Brain-fucking spores
>Pic related
Why are these so intriguing...
another recent example; an 18 yo girl who had been raped and abused several times went to a rape victim crisis center where she ended up getting raped by a nearly 50 year old counselor. he was convicted for rape under aggravating circumstances and got 8 months in jail

he probably got out after a weeks for good behavior
>1998, me around 2 years
>Swimming in the Mediterranean with family and friends
>I swim ahead to scout for food
>Oh my god what is that
>Smashed into at 2 knots by human
>I have been to therapy ever since
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>mfw cool people
About an hour ago I had a gun pointed at me. Does that count?
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>be traceur with 4 others
>training on 10 storey buildings
>death enticing precisions and cats, but not afraid since familiar with place
>see a gap i've never crossed before
>spend like 20 minutes psyching myself up
>decide to play it safe and run the entire length of the building before jumping
>fucking do it
>foot catches the ledge before slipping, instincts catch me and my body goes into a catleap
>climb up, arms and legs shaky as all hell
>we decide to call it a day since i was in no position to train anymore
>mfw i still train at that area constantly
>10 years ago
>Doing my flying lessons in an old Cessna single-engine
>Airport is located in an area with hills surrounding it
>Nice day for flying
>Takeoff takes longer than usual
>something is wrong
>The engine responds poorly to throttle input and I can't reach high enough RPM
>We continue climbing gradually for 30 seconds
>Can barely maintain altitude now
>Plane can no longer maintain, and is now gradually falling
>"Glorified Gliding" as we like to call it.
>The plane is now only a few feet above the treetops and is about to stall
>The plane stalls and rolls violently, hits the ground upside down nose first
>I escape with a few bruises and a broken forearm.
>My flying teacher broke both his arms and his jaw and nose


> Be white
> Walk in black neighbourhood with my wallet.


My nigger. I'm one too.
>be me
>be 17
>live in new york, 914, not even 40 minutes north of the city
>go out to walk my dog
>mom shouts, "don't do that right now, there's a tornado warning"
>you kidding me?
>walk about three minutes down the street, sky is weird puke colored color; light breeze blowing
>suddenly wind stops. i mean stops, like i was sitting in a windowless closet
>dog goes insane and starts trying to run back home
>my blood turns to ice, can feel like something is wrong
>wind begins moving in basically a single continuous gust that just builds and builds and builds strength
>leaves, small branches, debris starts to come down
>get halfway back to house and my sister is driving down the street coincidentally, slams on breaks when she sees me
>i go to throw the dog in the back of the truck (explorer)
>powerline bursts over head, sparks come down
>jump into back with dog and pull tailgate down
>literally watch an old growth tree ahead of us lift out of the ground, fall on its side, then lift up roots first and fly off the road
>BANG; glass explodes everywhere
>another tree through the middle of the car
>car is literally severed in half, totaled, left destroyed in the middle of the street
>went into the middle row of seats, between me and my sister
>dog is cut, but otherwise no injury

True story. It was a microburst.
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>be a dumb 13 year old
>backpacking mt blood on the appalatian trail
>halfway up weak ass old people group wants to rest
>we set up camp by this stream
>bored so I go to wander down the stream with mah fancy waterproof boots
>come upon a waterfall
>wanna see over the edge so I carefully walk forwards
>like 100 feet up
>suddenly slip on algae
>fall on my ass and start to slide the remaining 6 feet to the edge
>reach out and grab this skinny sapling near the edge
>pulled myself up, walked back to camp
>didn't shit brix until later
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>riding motorbike
>get hit by car (his fault)
>wake up 1 month later in hospital 9740
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