You're walking down a road in the middle of nowhere. You don't remember where you're going, where you're coming from, or anything at all, really.
A beat-up white van pulls up next to you. The passenger window rolls down and you see the driver, a bald white guy with a thick beard, waving at you.
>"There you are! Been looking all over for you. For fuck's sakes buddy get in the van, we ain't got much time."
8 decides wat do
You look at the mysterious bald man for a moment, then get into the passenger seat without saying anything. As soon as you do, you notice a wrench laying at your feet. You keep it under your foot for easy access in case the stranger tries anything.
>"So what the hell's goin on anyway?" you ask.
>"You don't remember a damn thing, do you?" he looks at you and grins while driving. "Ha, yeah that's what I thought. Don't worry though, it'll all make sense soon. We just gotta hurry up before the others catch on. Be glad I found you before they did."
He turns the radio on at high volume, clearly not open to anymore questions. He's driving about 10 mph over the speed limit.
4 decides wat do.
Raise your power level to 9001, exclaim this fact and say What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
>"WHO CAN SAY WHERE THE ROAD GOES" you scream, shit spewing out of your asshole all over the windshield. The driver can't see a thing past the shit.
>"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOI-"
The van skids to the side and then topples over, rolling several times. The windows around you shatter, you hit your head to one side and everything goes dark.
When you wake up, you're on a stretcher in a hospital. Lights and voices buzz around you. No sign of the bald man anywhere, just a nurse in your ear saying "You're gonna be alright, we're taking you to your room"
5 decides wat do
you make your way out of the building, whatever the cost is.
As you look around, you realise that you're on a set. There are lights and cameras on the peripheries. All of the staff are actually Grey's Anatomy actors. "fuck this shit" you jump of the gurney and run for the exit.
Your weapons were confiscated upon being taken into the hospital. The nurses get you into your room and close the curtain around you. "Get some rest" they suggest before leaving.
>3 decides wat do
You analyze your near-death experience and realize you should be thankful to even be alive still. Who better to thank than your savior, Shrek? You clasp your hands together and begin to pray.
Mid-way through your prayer to the ogre overlord , you hear a familiar voice.
"Is that you back there, motherfucker?"
It's the bald man. He pulls the curtain back and enters, wearing a hospital gown. He's limping and a long scar runs up his leg. You're happy to see him, but the feeling doesn't seem mutual.
>"You almost got us both killed back there you son of a bitch. Do you realize how fucking stupid you are? It's gonna be way too easy for those guys to find us here. C'mon, we gotta sneak outta here right now."
9 decides wat do
OP IS A SLOW FAG
I'M TAKING OVER THIS THREAD
You eat the curtains and immediately struggle with chewing through the tough velvet material. The bald man slaps you on the back of the head and says
>knock it off you idiot, we've go to get out of here
as he grabs your hand and pulls you through a set of double doors with an emergency exit sign into the parking lot
3 decides wat do
You stand up, push the bald man aside, and begin chewing on those delicious curtains. Unfortunately your teeth aren't strong enough to take any solid bites out of it, so you just end up slobbering all over them. The bald man grabs you and shoves you back down into your stretcher. He then pulls some hospital scrubs from a plastic bag.
>"I managed to get these out of one of the locker rooms. I'm gonna put 'em on, and we're getting the fuck out of here before those guys find us. I just need you to stay fucking silent until we're outside, or else this won't work."
He changes into the scrubs and looks like a typical mail nurse, then starts rolling you down the hallway towards the elevator.
7 decides wat do
Get a boner while in hospital uniform and realise everyone sees it and is looking at you while this is exactly what you needed to avoid. Bald man is beginning to lose his patience.
You stay silent and cooperative for the ride out of the hospital. Once the two of you are out on the street the bald man calls a cab over. You both get in and he gives the driver directions to his house.
>"Alright, we should be safe...for now."
After driving for a few blocks the cab stops at a red light. A motorcycle pulls up beside you with two masked men on it. The one on the back pulls out a pistol and begins firing at the cab.
5 decides wat do
You see the stretcher you had previously been lying on right next to you and begin trying to eat it before the bald man flips out again
>FOR CRYING OUT LOUD SNAP OUT OF IT
he demands as he pulls you away towards a black ford escort
he looks both ways before picking up a large stone and smashing the window, signalling to you to get in the passenger seat
5 decides wat do
You attempt to do this, but their masks prevent you from doing do. One of them shoots the driver in the head. The bald man hops into the front seat, shoving the dead body to the side and taking control of the steering wheel and taking off.
The motorcyclists follow from behind, still firing.
4 decides wat do
You attempt to "use harden" but nothing useful results from this.
A second pair of motorcyclists with pistols appears to the left of the taxi, also firing. The bald man is driving pedal-to-the-metal through the city streets trying to escape them.
>You attempt to "use harden" but nothing useful results from this.
what the fuck. whats the point of anyone rolling if you arent going to build a story on their choices.
op is a huge faggot, im out.
You open the window and laugh at them. This was not a good decision. One of the motorcyclists easily uses this opportunity to shoot you in the forehead and you die instantly.
>POV CHANGE: YOU ARE NOW THE BALD MAN
>The idiot who just got himself killed in the back seat is the son of a rich banker
>The Asian mafia has been hunting him down because of an amulet he inherited from his father
>The amulet is worth approximately 2 million dollars
>The banker was your godfather, and his dying wish was for you to protect his son, but more importantly, the amulet
Rules to now being the bald man:
>Retarded rolls are invalid
>"lel shit myself uncontrollably xD"
>OP will veto anything like this, or anything illogical, or suicide
You are now racing a stolent cab, being chased by Asian mafia hitmen. The amulet is in the dead son's back pocket.
7 decides wat do
Swerve 9/10 infront of one of the motorcycles. While holding onto the wheel use your other hand to toss the retards body infront of the bikes front wheel. But remember to grab the amulet before doing so.
You set the cab to cruise control and move to the back seat, barely ducking bullets in the process. You grab your godbrother's dead body and go through his pockets until you find the amulet. With it, you leap through the open window and roll across the pavement while the motorcyclists speed ahead. In an attempt to pull a u-turn, one of the pairs crashes against the cab. The other pair are moving towards you.
5 decides wat do
Even though I think this is about to cap
get a gun and take the amulet hostage, even though it looks retarded as shit. demand 1mil $, jet and a hostage. Fly to wherever you please and at your destination, give the hostage the amulet and the plane. Now get the fuck away and hide before they find you again