If you had to give one piece of advice to your childhood self, what would it be?
You're not allowed to give monetary advice, so no lottery numbers, bitcoin, etc.
>Don't follow the emo style in your teenage hood
>lift as soon as you reach 15
>Keep sucking your big sisters pussy when she made you close your eyes and rubbed it on your lips years ago.
>Always leave the house as if you're applying for your dream job
>Your first kiss is meaningless, it's not supposed to be a relationship starter
>Put in some fucking effort for things
>Don't ever quit sports
Whatever happens don't let your anger affect how you treat her. You'll know who I'm talking about when you meet her.
Also don't be such a faggot in highschool, and eat healthier you little shit.
Stop using your email address to join every fucking website. You're going to try and use that email address again years later and it'll take you 3 fucking weeks to delete all your messages.
Also, stop calling people a "bumshoe". You're going to say it to the wrong guy and he's going to cry. It'll change your world perspective.
At the time I did it in 2003, I went full out with it, and got Associates degree during high school. College I was going for (UW) did not care that I took harder classes, only cared that my GPA went from a 4.0 in dumbass high school classes to a 3.0 with Assocate of Science degree. Might have been fixed since then, but utterly fucked my future plans by not getting in.
don't let your mother force you to eat everything off your plate or to eat your brothers left over food either.
its her damn fault for serving you and your brother adult sized portions.
join the MMA club in high school.
stay away from the anime/games. they're all shit and they barely get better after high school
computer science is not your thing, neither is journalism. you're a fucking cook. you'll save 8k in expenses if you start culinary right off the bat
avoid Elinor she's nuts. she's a manipulative cunt.
Shit's going to happen in your life, You'll fel sad for a while and you'll question everything down to your existence. Don't listen to what they say, you're capable of anything. Keep your head high and don't be afraid to knock down anyone in your way.
Talk to a UW counselor at some point and see if they count CC classes with higher respect than just GPA. When I applied they had just stopped giving out what were essentially free acceptance to RS students, so it could be I just got screwed because they didn't have a system in place yet.
For what it's worth, I loved doing RS, it's just what happened after that sucked. Good luck, I feel redeemed by being able to warn someone else in advance.
Do better in school. Go to college. Fuck Rachel, Abby, Amy, All 4 of them neighbor girls, Angela, Crysta, Holly, both of the Jessicas, and Michelle. They all wanted your dick and you were too much of a shy beta faggot to go in it.
That's more than one piece of advice but fuck you.
Don't give a fuck what people think.
When those kids bully you, beat their fucking asses. You're weaker but get a rock or something to use as a weapon. You can at least take one of them down.
Smoke weed and chill out.
I promise that things are going to get better....your going to have a lot of close people hurt you in a variety of was. But don't worry your going to come out the other side a strong and wonderful person....you will be loved the way you deserve just be patient....
Jesus fucking christ, get your shit together, kid. You seriously need an attitude adjustment, just because your brother is a druggie and a loser doesn't mean you should stay up all night, skip school, give up on your fucking expensive 5-string bass guitar and your desire to go into chemical sciences. You are a little fucking faggot and i am so tired of dealing with the repercussions of the bullshit you set in motion for my life. Just because high school is going to let you pass with no work doesn't mean that it's a good idea. School is like life, you either succeed or fail, and it's your fucking choice, the years/grades keep coming regardless.
You're gonna become a heavy smoker, might as well stop avoiding it.
>mfw I give my child self horrible advice
>Fuck as many girls as you can in highschool. It is easier to fuck them once you are out.
>All those ugly chicks who wanted you dick in highschool become really hot so fuck them.
>Do not quit sports.
>Keep being a badass, it has worked so far.
>Start lifting in 8th grade instead of 10th.
>Save your money instead of blowing it on stupid shit.
it´s okay to take drugs and go skateboarding every day. don´t worry about getting an education. you are working class anyway and won´t get anywhere in life no matter how hard you try. it´s important to have a good time.
>Stop being such an autist and go do what you love building cool shit.
> Calm down firebug you'll miss your eyebrows.
>Also make sure that all your minibike's brakes work.
> Dont be a complete faggot in school.
> Apologize to that girl and explain yourself, you'll miss her dearly.
> She will never love you.
Don't be a procrastinating loser you have been given life on a silver plate don't screw it up with frivolous bullshit.. Also never go to a site called 4chan or hes going to mail you back this exact same letter.
>browsing 4chan to check if its the same as before
>find weird ass aspie shit all over it
>listening to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LL36MHdnUsE
>wondering what the fuck happened to 4chan
Put the food down, shower daily, and wear real clothing, you disgusting, greasy, sack of shit.
Be more attracted to bigger girls when you're in high school. There were some legit fuckable girls that present me would have banged the shit out of, but I didn't give them a chance because I was a stupid teenager who only lusted after skinny girls.
wow man. I guess it's better than other things. My dad got to scrape brains off a ceiling with a putty knife after an angry ex boyfriend killed the girlfriend and new boyfriend with a shotgun. Ill never forget him talking about finding the girl's inner ear bone across the room against the wall.
Hello Me, word of advice:
Ask Zoe out as soon as you meet her, else years will go by, high school will end, she'll get some other guy as her boyfriend, you'll never see her again, little by little you'll become more depressed every day that goes by with you sitting alone in front of a computer to hide and ignore your regret.
You'll never forgive yourself for missing out on what could have been the "happiest time of your life".
Yeah he did bio-waste cleanups. He got to scrape a homeless man from between what was left of a jeep. He may have hit a semi too. I dont remmeber all the details but he got to peel apart the body from the jeep. He didn't sleep for a week after the brains one.
Like seriously worst job ever why did he do it?
"The world abounds in cunt of every kind, including hers."
Because he got paid to do it. That business was his personal hell. We lived in an area that had a small territory on top of a bad economy with a bunch of asshole CEO franchise owners. It was business that was hard to succeed in. I had entire summers where I spent either on job sites or in his office and watched him work his ass off 24/7. Still dont know how he did it. Of course it wasnt just biowaste. He cleaned up homes like fire water mold, and only sometimes biohazard. The brains thing fucked him up so bad he had to quit biohazards and stuck with only fire water mold. He had to take a week off after too. I've never seen him fucking tear up like that either. He said the smell was fucking indescribable. Apparently it got warm (Florida in summer) and or it was raw meat in the open. He said it was like silly putty dried out on everything. He told me shit about how the bodies smelled that i'll never forget for my entire life. But we survived, and we escaped and my parents bought a new business. Now he takes care of old people.
all i want to tell myself is to stop smoking, it doesnt make you look cool. at least tell myself not to tell my friend about it. everything bad in my life has stemmed from that one choice.
he thought i was cool too, so he recorded it on his ipod (without even telling me, dumbass) and showed it off to everyone, and i got expelled and the DCF came after me and my siblings.
My whole life was fucked up from 11 since i tried to be cool and failed. now im a slightly overweight, depressed bisexual who has intense social anxiety, to the point where if i dont smoke a gram 5 minutes before i leave, i cant step foot past the drink machine in the apartment im in without someone i know.
oh, and also my sister said i molested her to the DCF. thats the REAL reason they flipped their shit. they just looked in cuz of me smoking.
i didnt molest her either, my sister and her friend were fucking with me cuz they thought i had a small dick, i acted like i didnt care, then they wanted me to show it to them. after that they wanted to touch it. it went off from there.
Gold it turned out okay for you guys give you're father a hug for the both of us that shit was probably horrible
I know. My famoly fixed up a country house and my parents sold the old business and used that as seed money. It's much better. Ill give him a hug in the morning, he's sleepin. I still know it must have been just as bad to watch your buddy bleed out, but the cleanup for that stuff is awful. It wasnt just the brains, It was the job. He was his job. he became the cell phone dad. But its all over. sorry about the loss of your friend. I guess its better than him being a vegetable or brain damaged in some ways.
Humans on average may be fools, but it's due to what they have in common, not what makes them individuals; that's all that gives humanity a reason for existing.
So hold on to what makes you an individual with all your heart, no matter how foolish it may feel and no matter how your parents act.
You can change yourself on a fundamental level all you like, but only after you understand the significance of everything.
Man, I really wish I had been told that, I actually kind of miss things such as arrogance and foolhardiness; When it's not me vs. the world anymore, the world just smoothly flows by without a care.
DO NOT... FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD DO NOT go to that one closet gay who throws all the parties at his parents house party on the night of which you know I am referring to... it doesn't end well and you wake up still a virgin... ish.
Keep a condom on you at all times, and when the time comes, fuck derpette good and long. You won't regret it.
Also, you're going to meet a kid named Jarrett. Befriend him quickly, don't waste time, he's an awesome kid, y'all could have a lot more fun and shit if you do.
Also, retake the ACT a 4th time, you'll probably go up from a 31 composite to a 33, trust me.
Oh, and google foreskin restoration as soon as you get a chance, shit's awesome.
Don't join the air force and go to that faggot community college you'll get a better job that way and you won't have to work weekends in the desert away from your loved ones with swamp ass from another dimension and no money to show for it
Stop trying to replace her with them. Don't break her heart the first time so you won't end up doing it three more times.
She still loves you, more than her boyfriend but she won't leave him no matter how hard her heart pulls her in your direction.
Your marriage will fail, don't date people you meet on dating websites.
Use a condom more often, Herpes doesn't pop up often but when it does it's fucking embarrassing.
Don't marry her, don't have that kid with her, just completely avoid her. Stick to what you know is right.
Most importantly, around 3 am you'll meet her, don't get the tequila, don't let her leave, You're better than this damn it, you know you are.
Oh and she spent about 3 days walking and hitchhiking, don't even try going down on her, believe me... let her shower before you go to bed, you'll thank me later.
Oh, and quit smoking. You're going to wake up in about 12 years coughing every morning.
Nah, it's a code name we developed early on in our relationship. She liked the name, even got sexually excited at it's use, so, ya know... Didn't mind calling her that, not at all.
finish high school faggot.
dont go to psych, become an intelligence officer for the degree in communication and instant pay off.
when this girl called Kristin contacts you, if you fall in love with her, make sure you actually act like it when you date her. either that or live happily ever after with her bestfriend.
but seriosuly nigga get a job, now, i dont care that your 8.
Don't get fat.
Don't quit karate after getting whooped by sensei's bamboo pole. Keep fighting.
Don't let your brothers harsh criticism keep you from doing sports.
Pick up those weights and take lifting seriously as your life depends on it. Get /fit/.
There's no stopping from falling for your first love, it's gonna hurt but learn from it. Don't let it drag you to the dirt. Fight it by lifting hard and picking back your confidence up. Growing out of It will make you stronger than you ever thought you were.
To this point you are still a loner and loveless, worrying about bitches and getting their attention in atupid ways makes you look like an ass. Be yourself dont put up a facade for her bitch ass. You learn to appreciate yourself more after many nights introspecting alone in your bed.
1. Dont get involved in there relationship just because you are jelous you piece of shit
2. Know im your heart that you love her and she loves you more then anything disregaurd everything your stupid mom and jelous sister tell you about her she is the best thing to ever happen to you.
3. Stay away from Jason he's a backstabbing piece of shit
4. In middle school stop being a faggot and touch her she gave you a golden oppertuninty and you never see her again anyway
All the things you'll do will have a purpose bigger than it seems at the moment. Every single choice you make will be haunting you for the next 20 years of your life and they will drive you insane, so don't be afraid to take a chance whenever you have one.
Nobody genuinely likes you, stop trying to find what you will never have, you will realize at 11 that people don't treat you the way they treat everyone else.
Don't listen to your mother, she's dangerous to be around, at the first opportunity move out to dads.
Don't be so afraid of people, don't try to impress people, it doesn't work. If people could end up liking you, it would happen naturally, there's little, very, very little you can do to help making them closer to you.
Your first real love will be at sixteen. When you start realizing your life is going downhill, be honest and either leave or embrace it at full, don't keep that secret to yourself.
Every person from this point ahead will make your life miserable, cut them off, avoid them, stop talking to every single one of them. You don't need any of them.
When you finally try to kill yourself, on 27th august 2008, don't wait almost three hours to do it once you hear those words (you will know what words when you hear them). When you start walking, avoid busy streets and go somewhere desert, just sit there and wait, the effects should start to kick in about 40 minutes and you'll pass out shortly, just hang in there and you'll be free. Don't call anyone. Do it sooner and close your fucking door when you leave. You'll need more painkillers and you will be sweating like crazy, but you won't notice it.
Mom and Dad are always wrong on their advice ignore it
Be yourself you're pretty awesome
Don't try to impress anyone
Don't be a dick to them either for no reason
Start guitar sooner it's a lot of fun.
Be better in pretty much every aspect imaginable you little faggot. Otherwise you'll be browsing the internet at the age of 42 still living in the same room when you were 5.
Any younger anons, it's not too late to change
"Spend more time with Mom, be nice to her and do your schoolwork, make her proud. She battles cancer for years and dies from it when we're 17, make the time last."
I feel like I barely even know anything about my Mom, I never really had a good talk with her. Even when she was on her death bed she was only worried about the family. I was so lazy in school I was about to fail my senior year, I tried so hard to pass and I did, but she couldn't there to see me graduate. It hurts.
Keep going to school. Be more careful around horses. Learn. Don't marry, at least until you are adult. Try to get a PC and learn programming.
Down the road, not across the street you fucking fagneill shit!... now do it while I watch...
Try and kiss her cause youre not gonna get any other chance to kiss a girl because you move and no one likes your beta faggot ways
You're not gonna like a lot of people.
A lot of people wont like you either.
You're different not because you're dumb.
You're different because you're intelligent.
Eventually you'll move to California and find out you have more things in common with college students than you do with the average Joe.
Don't blame yourself for having a rough life.
You're just surrounded by idiots.
>"the other half of realizing that nothing matters and people are shitty is that by those same laws YOU don't matter and are shitty. Don't ever for a single minute think that because you know more that you know everything. You are human, and everything you think and feel is subject to the same scrutiny and judgment you cast on the rest of the world. DOUBT. EVERYTHING. Even yourself."
Have you ever heard of a claim, example, and warrant? Apparently not. Ever studied why essay's are structured the way they are? Cause I doubt you have.
I'm so sorry, anon.
I've been living by that mantra since puberty.
Almost 26yo and still have my life.
Our hearts go out to you, poor devil.
Sorry bro. I was too stuck in my feels to put that apostrophe
>be from a dysfunctional white-trash family
>dad is a mean drunk; relentlessly beats me, my brother, and our sister while we're growing up.
>mom is a useless enabler so she won't help us
>one day dad starts going to illegal gambling boats; eventually he loses so much that he sells my sister to some sex-traffickers then he just leaves.
>never saw dad or sister again
>be in middle school, about 13
>not very big for my age, get bullied alot for being "the poor kid". no friends because public school full of jackasses
>eventually attempt to an hero
>try to hang myself with some belts in the school cafeteria when nobody's around
>tie belts into noose, climb up on table and tie belts to a pipe running across the ceiling
>noose around neck, jump off of table. pipe breaks and falls on top of me, knocking me unconscous
>bullying only got worse after that, actually begin to think that they want me to kill myself, I decide that I won't give them the satisfaction
>school guidance counsellor is a really buff nigger
>get forced to go talk to this guy until i can convince him to take me off the suicide watch
>long story short, I wind up getting anally raped by this guy. He threatens to murder my mom if i tell anyone.
>tell my brother, he's about 17 at this point. He takes me to school a few days later and asks the principal's secretary if he can see the nigger
>walk into nigger's office with my brother.
>brother pulls out a .45 and shoots the nigger point-blank in the head; nigger's face explodes everywhere
>brother gets arrested, gets life sentence for 1st degree murder
>mom commits suicide, i get put in local foster home for four years till I turn 18
>got the fuck out of my hometown and joined the navy a couple years later. figured it would be good for me.
>now 24 years old, still in the navy. worked on an aircraft carrier for a few years, now I'm co-assistant manager of a barracks in florida.
I actually didn't cry about it for years. I was in disbelief, I can barely believe it today. I have dreams that I wake up and see my Mom around the house, not doing anything special, she's just there, with us. It makes me happy. Every day I just wish things could have been different.
She had actually been in remission from breast cancer and was telling the doctor she felt a lump and felt sick. He told her she was alright and to not worry but in reality it was a tumor and by the time we caught it the cancer had spread to her lymph nodes. She then got brain cancer, she was always so confused and in so much pain. She forgot how TV remotes work, when I tried to explain but she didn't understand how the buttons worked. Towards the end she couldn't even remember me or that she had kids. It hurt so much knowing that she would look at me and see a stranger... Christ, I'm crying pretty bad now, I'd better sleep /b/, thanks for listening, it means a lot.
I would tell my fourth grade self not to suck Mr. Lee's dick after school.
Dont kill your own father by losing grip of a rusty piece of metal and dropping it on top of his head
From 4 stories high
>start taking drugs at 16
>it'll prevent your eventual social isolation
>it will improve your social skills
>it's fucking awesome
Get fit fucker. You won't get women in college otherwise. And do cardio, not just strength. Don't forget the diet. Also around 2008 look up zyzz on google and follow his workout routine. Also going to the gym won't retard your height so go to the gym.
Probably relationship advice.
Don't bother with A, she turns out to be drama for most of your highschool friends. Consider yourself lucky.
Also don't bother with S because that shit's drama too.
Be confident around M, and be prepared to deal with the fact that she's damaged goods. Also try to keep remembering why you love her and if she ever says anything retarded just agree with her, it's not even a joke when people say that, just nod your fucking head.
Tell your lifetime friend that u love her and don't fear a "no" as answer. She will realize in a couple of years how much u Mean to her, and eventually u will prevent her to marry that brainless Ginger fitfag.
You should've dared Taylor to let you fuck her in the ass! You already got a blowjob, she wanted the D, why didn't you do her when you had the chance?!
Tl;dr: Never be a wuss with horny girls.
I'm like, starting to crossdress/shave myself. I think it's the faggots over at /a/ that made me into this. Or I just need a scapegoat to make myself feel better. Could also be me being so fucking lonely.
Take advantaged of the opportunity to study computers at the technical college during your junior and senior years during high school, which the tuition is paid for by the high school.