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>>561650927 Shut up in the air. bullet goes way up in the air, eventually stops and comes back done. Gives you time to put the gun away, and then run under the bullet when it comes down. So ppl will say you could have committed suicide cause how come the gun is put away?
>go to a public place >i always use the example of the top of a building >wait for crowd to gather >when crowd reaches max, commence plan >first, jump form the building, sealing your fate >take out your pistol midair, and put it in your mouth >using the skills from your acrobatics classes(money is of no object to a dead man) perform a corkscrew while in the air >after the corkscrew begins, blow your brains out, creating a spiral of grey matter and a soft mist of blood, which will gently envelope the bystanders below >after teaching the godless heathens at the base of the building the true meaning of christmas, allow your friend to detonate the c4 you placed throughout the building, bringing it to the ground >??? >profit
>>561650927 Some people take out someone with them, others take out a few dozen or hundred. Most people don't know that you actually have the power to kill millions.
>Be born >Grow attached to your mother >Pick up drawing >Lament your mom's eventual death >Start hating the japs, or some shit >Become a dispatch runner in a war >Survive being wounded two separate times >Become charismatic as fuck >Use your silver tongue to rise through the ranks >Start a revolution >Actually it's a really weak revolution, get shot at and lose a couple followers >Write a book while in prison >Okay, try that again >Use your silver tongue to rise through the ranks >Start a revolution >Become leader of a state >Kill as many jews as fucking possible >Kill yourself
Step 1: get 1000 helium balloons Step 2: get scissors Step 3: tie all balloons around your ankles Step 4: go outside and tether yourself so you don't fly away Step 5: call 911 and tell them you murdered 5 little girls and only you know the locations Step 6: scream obscenities at the police when they arrive, telling them that they'll never catch you alive Step 7: cut tether and float away Step 8: laugh your ass off until you get bored and then cut the balloons off and fall to your death Step 9: forever be known as mysterious balloonman murderer
>>561653042 >>561652821 2 possible reasons: the medic was a fucking mormonchild loser who'd never smoked or got high in his life and had no idea how fucking shitty it feels to have too much nicotine in his system, OR he was looking to console you by saying "at least he died happy/high" (meaning that he was either stupid or he thought that you were stupid)
also I highly doubt that it was a real paramedic, maybe a basic-bitch EMT at most, because a full paramedic needs to actually fucking know about drugs to do their job correctly
1. You'll need around 5-7 pennies or copper coin, and a straw. Put these aside for now. 2.Get a clear jar, scoop 2 tablespoons of salt in, and 1 tablespoon of baking soda. 3.Pour ammonia into the jar until 2/3rds full. 4. Fill the rest of the jar with bleach. 5. Now drop the pennies into the jar, and quickly take the straw and blow bubbles onto the pennies. 6. Blow on them for about 30 seconds. 7. Your dead !
At first it seems obvious. But the truth is that you will pass out and lose your grip long before you die. Thus it will require several years of training to build up your tolerance to fainting (much like a boxer has to) in order to do this. No one will believe that you actually did this, so make sure to do it in a room that is locked from the inside with no way for someone else to get in. It's going to look like a murder with no possible way that anyone could have done it, but no one is going to assume that you have prepared 5+ years for this moment.
>Answer an ad for clown to preform at a childs birthday >show up to the party >gather all the kids around, ask them if they want to see a cool trick >eat a cyanide pill and shoot yourself >have all of your blood and brain matter splatter all over the kids >hilarity ensues
okay what you have to do is you going to take a wood chipper set it up and make sure you get orphans to walk by it when you do this jump inside the wood chipper and let the blood rain down on your them with a note attached or it that says don't worry about it. It builds character
Well my ideal situation leaves an mental imprint of my actions in people's psyche's fpr years to come.
>turn 70 >get a friend to fly me up with expert precision >We're pretty low altitude >Directly above a middle school >I have a bat suit/wing suit >I have trained in it (in this situation) >Fucking jump out the plane with no parachute >Aim at the playground >I timed it so the kids are at recess >Make sure to hit some recess equipment >blood will splatter everywhere >I will yell on the way down to
>>561663129 >Store the black widows in a jar a preferrable scenario would be recieving a live mature black widow egg sack inside the jar. So that you wouldn't have to handle it yourself.
>black widows in glass jar >like 150 >carry it around, Who knows? it will be necessary >in class/ at work >aquaintance asks simple question >... >"FUCK YOU!" "BLACK WIDOWS" >You smash the glass point black on their head >Spiders get in hair >spiders going ape shit
If you want to die too just rape the person as they're distracted.
>>561650927 If I were to kill myself I'd get someone to make a bomb and set it to go off at a random time. I'll chuck the bomb in my computer (guaranteed to go off near me this way) and all I have to do is wait.
>get an M10000 >wait until your birthday >hide the M10000 in the cake with the top disguised as a candle >throw a party inviting your friends and family >wait until cake time >as soon as they begin singing, immediately reach into the cake and retrieve the m10000 >pick up the cake knife and slit your throat as you put the m10000 in your mouth >light that bitch >blow up your head infront of everyone who ever loved you
>Get a dog. >Train said dog to fuck you when you play dead. >Go to public park on busy day. >Bring dog. >Pull out gun and scare your said dog off. >Yell "I HOPE I DON'T GET FUCKED AFTER I DIE" >Pull down pants and shoot self in the head. >Everyone mindfucked as dog comes out of nowhere and fucks you in the ass after you are on the ground dead.
>get 2 guns, one for a real bullet one for a blank >get lots of fake blood and goopy stuff for brains >lastly get 100 party poppers >walk into the middle of a busy street >scream you're going to kill yourself >shoot self in head with blank >let all the fake blood and brains come out >everyone screams about you dying >as soon as someone touches you jump up and scream "IM ALIVE" >pull out gun with bullet, shot self again in head >rig the party poppers to go off now >people just witnessed you dying twice >your corpse is fake blood and streamers
>>561669845 Just calculated it out, it would take around 5000 balloons to lift the average man. Then again, that would just be for hovering, if you want to gain altitude you'd want quite a bit more than that. 7 or 8 thousand might do it?
>>561650927 >take some iron wire >tie both ends tight somewhere on the top of building >make a iron wire loop that goes around your neck >take some superglue and glue your hands on your head >wait until you're hands are stuck >jump off the roof >iron wire will cut your head, but your head will stay with you're hands because of super glue >when you land you will be decapitated and it will look like you tear your head of your body with your hands >????? >protip
Tie your best friends mother to a bed, cut your wrists then proceed to fuck her as the blood covers both of you. Tease her clit so she's close to orgasm, just as she's about to climax and you start to feel faint, pull a gun out and shoot yourself in the head.
It's not very creative, but if I had to choose one way to kill myself, it'd be putting on a cute dress, slitting my wrists, and then floating on my back in my pool while serenely staring at the sky waiting to bleed out and lose consciousness
If you live in america do this Step 1: aquire helicopter Step 2: fly over white house or capitol building Step 3: jump without parachute onto white house/capitol building Step 4: be on news for killing yourself
>>561678774 Well. The dream started out with me waking up in the middle of a grassy field on a comfortably warm, lightly windy day. I stood up and three paths were revealed in front of me. I walked down the middle one and at the end of it, there was you. Except you weren't a nigger and then I immediately woke up upon the realization that this was too good to be true and had to be a dream.
>>561679329 That actually has a subtle beauty to it. I don't want to overwhelm you with surprise, but I'm really not a nigger. Also, the street I live on is the middle one in a fork in the road. That's some prophetic shit. What else have you dreamt lately?
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