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I'll start... >broke up with ex of two years >lose best friend...still don't know why to this day >ex starts doing who knows what with ex-best friend >don't know what I want to do with my life >cant cry >all I want to do is cry
>>563033671 Writing a note.. Here is what I have so far.
So I guess this is it, to whomever it may concern I am truly sorry that you are seeing this but I foresaw no other way. No matter what, no matter how good it would get it would always end up like this. I know you guys always wanted the best for me, you always wanted me to be happy and the best I could be. I don’t want anyone to feel like it was their fault. This was my decision, not yours. I’m the one who messed up, not you. There’s nothing that you could have done; you’ve all tried to help me. I'm sorry that I've let you down. I had a wonderful time, while it lasted. Can you do something for me? No matter what, how bad it gets just remember the good times you've had. I know that helped me, because they always come back its just a matter of patience and active participation on making those moments happen as well as knowing when to enjoying them as they come naturally.
Maybe I just can't baww anymore. There is that one second where you can finally feel emotions, and you think "this is it. i can finally cry and let it all out" but no. The feeling crawls back down like some sort of sick game.
I usually post a lot in these threads. I listen and talk to others, if not to give advice(sometimes we just don't have the answers) then to just let em get it off their chest, let em know someone cares, and I really do.
Last couple of nights though I've gone from being very depressed to being down right angry. My story the love of my life ex is recently engaged, and well it just killed me all over again. I keep replaying times in the last couple of years between us, and it almost seems like I'm her 'shoulder to cry on' or her 'emotional tampon'. I hate her for that...I hate her so fucking much, but also I love her, more than anything. I'm trying to get over her, I've been trying to for a long time. I'll continue to try...but deep down I know if she ever said 'lets end this break' I'd go running to her, for her I'd wait forever...and yet I'm still doing my best to get over her.
Sorry for rambling, but that's all. I just need to let it out. I see her and many others like you guys in hte same situation and it pisses me off. Sure they deserve to be happy, but you know what? So do we, we deserve to be just as fucking happy as them. The broken deserve the same fucking happiness, and I'm sick of not being good enough, and being depressed.
I love you guys, thanks for always being here, even if you don't read idc. Just knowing you're here will always help me through the tough times. I appreciate every single one of you, thanks anon.
OP here. The more I think about it the worse it gets. I'm still young and feel all this pain in my heart. Does it get worse? I've still got so much life to live I may not have even seen a glimpse of true pain. How will I stand when it comes?
>>563035638 Im here, i'll be here always for you anon, hope you get over with it and keep going. I know it's hard just look at me, broke with my the love of my life 2 years ago and i still can't love anybody like i loved her. I have a gf but i just pretend the whole time. Idk if im the problem or whatever. I had been trying this time to get over with it and really engaged someone but i can't. Anyways thanks anon I appreciate your time
>>563039534 Hey guy. Yeah it's been a shitty few days... I think she wanted me to come and object... that's why she kept up the invites. I asked that girl out that I was crushing on. She said yes wed. Then when I went to talk to her thurs and arrange plans she blocked my number and deleted me from fakebook. My car blew up yesterday and probably has a cracked head. Drinking myself stupid right now.
>>563040028 Wow man, just like that huh? Blocked your number and shit? Sounds like the past few days have been hell for you bro. I'm sorry about that, I rally am. Things seem to pile on when you're not doing so good, I know this.
You know what, if that's true, that's just stupid and fucked up of her. I'm sorry but it is. Women should stop fucking playing games like that 'testing' us, women should tell us what they want, not try to hint. Because when we see someone we love, we'll keep our mouths shut...as long as they're happy.
I really like this picture. I've been through rough times over the past few years. Nothing is good. I've lost pretty much the only things I've ever had in my life.
But I feel fine. I feel like everything is going to be alright. I'm scared, though. But at least if something goes wrong I'll know I tried. Maybe things will go right this time and I just need to, I don't know.
guys... i'm a girl... and my life sucks too. Its not about money, or other people, its about finding a way to be happy just with yourself.... its hard, and its shitty.... but there's a girl sitting at home alone in australia that would happily have coffee with any of you, your not as alone and unloved as the voices in your head would have you believe.
>>563040524 I hear you with the pissed off feeling lately. I think I mentioned I started working out recently. I'm going to win in the end but right now it hurts like a bitch. I'm so sick of the fucking games it's not even funny.
Glad you're around though. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htmKZKR7oyc
I just wanted to say for all the lurkers in this thread, who choose not to post their stories because they see that other people have it worse off then they do, don't think that. Deciding you shouldn't be sad because other people have it off worse is like deciding you shouldn't be happy because other people are having better days. You deserve to be listened to.
>>563040826 I like that pic, and thank you. I'd have coffee with any of you as well...even though I don't drink coffee >>563040959 Yeah I remember saying you started working out, and I should more, just been busy and then i get distracted, think I'll do some shit tonight though. Kinda wish I was drunk as fuck right now.
Yeah man real angry lately, and that is really the most fucked up thing a girl could do. 'Test' the guy she likes, cause we will always fail if we think you're happy even if it's with someone else, we'll just keep it to ourselves. And thank you man, glad to talk to you tonight, last few nights I believe I showed up too late, didn't see any feels/baw threads.
And yeah one day we'll win this war...but the battles between then and now are gonna be tough.
>>563041573 Story of my life bro... I will always sacrifice my own happiness for her. Regardless of who the her is because I long for someone willing to do the same. I feel like I'm in some terrible romantic comedy where the protagonist spends half his life waiting for the right girl.
Never told anyone this before, but, my life has reached the point, in which I get very little joy out of anything. I'm depressed most of the time, so you know what I do to fill the hole in my heart? I buy shit. All the time. I fill my house with videogames I never play, books I never read, pointless shit, because the only joy I get is when I get shit in the mail cause I feel like someone out there cares about me enough to send me these nice things, when the sad reality is nobody would care enough. When people come over they ask why haven't I played these games, watched these movies, read these books. I say, I never have the time. But in reality, it's because I don't even want them, I buy the items for the moments of joy I get by having them, not for the items themselves, and that's honestly the only part in my life I look forward to, because I can imagine that someone cares.
>>563041631 Cheers anon. >>563042217 Holy fuck man that pic. I remember when 'her' and I first started dating. I wasn't so well off of course, but she, she wasn't any better. And I kinda feel like I built her up, repaired those cracks in her...and then she went away once she was strong enough. I'm glad I could do that, she's even admitted to such a thing. But I'm hurt that she left me behind. Over these many years I have kept it in, held back my feelings because I know she's happy now, and I can't give her anything this other guy is already providing.
>>563033671 Sometimes when I at home alone I like to play a game called "Vegetable" where I lay in the ground and do nothing for several hours. Then, when someone comes home, they will find me laying in my garden. Today I was broccoli.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTrHjrf_-N0 I just thought that i'd leave this here. if you're having trouble crying, i found that this type of thing worked pretty well for me. Hear me out, it isn't sad... but it's so touching the feels it has... it makes you cry. but they're tears of happiness. I mean... you have nothing to lose, so why not try?
>>563043026 I just keep telling myself that someday it will all be worth it... but honestly I don't believe that for a second because I know that no one is capable of feeling the same way about me as I do them. Just keep trudging along. What do you do now guy?
I rarely post in baww threads but i read everyone every day and or night ijust need to let it out i am all alone no real friends,internet friends and uncaring family the only person who has ever cared about me just cut me out of their life and its taking every bit of restraint to not go finish my liqour and just end the job for once
With gf for almost a year now and feel more lonely than ever. I guess it's bc I can't forgive myself for putting my hands on her. She trusted me and I've failed her. I just keep telling myself, "If Robin Williams can do it, I can do it, too." I know I've brought this upon myself, but I hate myself for dragging her into this.
>be me >last night >father was drunk as fuck, and I didn't know >Nocarfag.jpg >he comes and gets me, swerving all the way >take his keys >demand to drive >haven't spoken mono e mono with my father really ever >bullshit stories go >starts talking about my sister who hates his guts >looking down >"I tried my hardest to give you the best I could, son." >that look >staggers away
I know it's not much, but fuck, I saw my father hurt for the first time yesterday.
>>563043631 That I don't really have an answer to. Other than just keep trying, keep going. I have a factor that some maybe don't, nephews and nieces that need me. So I stick it out for them and my mom. But iktf all too well. I know I wont find anyone who loves me the way I may love them, so why bother? shrugs, idk. But I'll keep going, keep trudging along, biding my time. Time they say heals all, I'm still waiting for that too.
We just keep going bro, that's all we really can do, if you have people that count on you, do it for them.
No matter who I was with after her it just wasn't it. This Blink song reminds me of that, and I did let her use me, 'emotional tampon' fuck me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vl0inkRpzpI
>be me >be 18 >high school dropout >depression and other shit in a bucket list of issues >have had gfs before but can't convey emotions verbally >instead cover it up with assholery >living day to day pushing myself to not stop doing anything
Not feelsy maybe but it's been kicking me in the emotional nutsack, so here goes. >be me >have best bro I could ever ask for >best bro has separation anxiety so he constantly wants bf/gf >after knowing him for nearly two years I fell in love with him at some point >he could punch me in the face and I'd still love him >tell him I love him cuz hey maybe he'll consider it >he never does >he does however consider random girls that come up to him before he ever even thinks of me >mfw I've had to sit through 4 of his girlfriends so far while I physically cannot love anybody else
>>563038202 >be 21 in love for the first time >raging alcoholic and meth user >lose apartment have to go to dispensaries for food her and I >get back on my feet, score a good job, quit drugs but not beer >rent a home, have nice cars, she lives with me >I ask her to marry me >she said no >mom was not surprised when I told her, said she had once told her that she wasnt the marrying type >I start using again >get dui lose my job >cant pay my bills again >she leaves >I find out she was fucking everyone I knew, since the very beginning...the landlord from the tri-plex apartments we originally rented. Her boss at work, her bosses friends, my landlords siblings, everyone. >people that used to have a beer with me and laught with me were laughing at me. >one night being high and drunk I get in my big offroad brand new truck that I had missed 6 payments and been hiding from the repo man and decided to do a home invasion slap the bitch and her new lover. Gathered a battering ram and took it with me with a friend. Got into the complex and parked in front of the apartment. Put on our bandana. >we goin' in OP, what do i do if the bitch gets crazy? slap up her up or whatever We don't know them anon, they are nothing to us. >knock at the window >security guard old school mate. >ww-hat you doin? you gonna rob me or something? >n-nah man just chillin >a-alright dude.. >for sure man we just heading out, lates >o-ok bye OP >month later, go to a strip bar and get herpes 7 years later and 2 years sober and 3-4 year without pussy still trying to put the pieces together. >did find /fit 2 years ago and lost 100lbs >look better than ever... >still dream of her on some nights >wake up scared >feeling wounded, because she is doing it to me again, in my dreams. >fml >I will not die >I hope I do >find out later she was fucking the landlord, my friends >be 25 alcoholic
>>563045242 i have a very strong feel bone.... not giving a fuck is kinda overrated... feels can fucking kill you but they make sex, bliss after suffering and just in general all the good shit in life better...
>be me >be 5 >parents were divorced >visited dad on the weekends >as much as I remember he was a cool dude liked vidya >one particular weekend >playing vidya >go take a bathroom break >come back to the room >as soon as I step in >I see my dad having a heart attack >he died that day >even worse I had to call 911 and explain as much as I could
Its been 8 years and thats the only memory I have of my father. I miss you dad.
Here's a pic and a song. Both get all my bawws. I hope you all feel better, if you're sad. If you'd like, I can drop some contact info if any of you would like to talk. Will also post more pics if you want...
>>563045630 It's going to anon. I was with my gf for two years till I moved I know she's not the type to cheat and I stayed with her 1 year later now she just moved to my state just a couple of weeks ago
>>563045810 It's not that I don't give a fuck, I do, I'm just not a very empathetic person I guess? if that's the right word. what I mean is people's stories, art and stuff usually doesn't affect me this way.
> be 4 months ago > be beta as fuck > tell girl I really like her > says she appreciates my feeling but she'd rather be fiends > FRIENED ZONED level over 9000 > try to get over her during summer > back to school thinking I did > see her and say hi and I get a big hug > realize I'm not over her > still friend zoned over 9000 > go home and cry
>>563046837 Yeah I'd rather talk to you guys than cry alone... I can cry while I talk to you guys. I feel those feels about losing yourself. Like you took a wrong turn and then another and then another and everytime you try to get back on the right path you just keep taking wrong turns over and over.
>>563046797 >"What the fuck? No I don't. Stupid anon." >"What's it like to have separation anxiety anyway?" >google it >I match every symptom on multiple lists >shitshitshitshitgayballs.jpg Fuck, that explains so much.
>>563047257 Wow, thanks. Def still love her, and def still trying to let it go, to forgive myself like you said, >>563047319 Fuck yeah, I can always cry alone, late at night, but to have people to talk to, it just feels better. Crying and talking, with no judgements.
cap = was obergft lol yeah I was over her for a little lol
I don't feel lonely. I am okay with being alone, and most of the time I actually prefer it. I don't like social interaction either. I don't often feel motivated to change this, though. It's only if I'm confronted by these things that I realize something should change. But it's so easy to slip back into my antisocial tendencies.
18 days after my 18th birthday my two best friends and I decided to go to the beach. Ten minutes away from where we were going, I lost control of my car. This resulted in us getting t -boned. My best friends head broke my jaw. My last memory of those two was watching them die as the fire department arrived. I walked away with a broken jaw and orbital bone.. Spent 9 months in jail for dangerous driving. I would trade places with them in a atter of seconds, any day. Its till the first thing I tihnk of when I wake up. Drinking to cope, it doesnt really work.
Nephews wrapped up soccer today, one of them said 'im gonna hang my medal in your room' a little thing, but I'm glad. I'm glad I can make some sort of impact on their lives that's positive. They are one of the major reasons I just don't say fuck it, and be completely wreckless.
I just had an uplifting moment tonight if anyone wants me to type it up. Its about good people like you anons who help others though rough times, and sort of my realisation that this guy has been supporting me through thick and thin and just how grateful I am to him.
>>563048732 My little brother is 17 and I worry about him all the time... If it weren't for him I wouldn't be here but someone needs to take care of him and teach him how to take care of himself... I just need to learn how to take care of myself too.
>>563049076 Exactly, and these nephews are more likes sons to me. Their dad was never really around, in and out of jail, hooked on drugs, abandoned them for drugs and made a new family. My brother and I used to fill in for their father, my brother is gone now, but I'm still doing my best.
One day you will, and the world will be that much better off for it man.
>>563048928 Sounds like you want to, so go ahead, we'll listen
For ~3 years of my life I was completely unmotivated to do anything and beyond cynical. The only emotions I felt were jealousy, boredom, and sadness. I stopped playing video games, stopped eating the foods I used to like, stopped chasing relationships, I just gave up because none of those things made me happy anymore. I passed it off as getting older until I realized that I didn't want to be alive. I didn't necessarily want to kill myself, but every time I saw a car accident or murder on TV I would wish it was me that was dead. During this part of my life I spent most of my free time laying on the floor and looking at the ceiling, trying to coax some emotion out of myself by reflecting on old memories. It didn't work.
After a about a month of going to work, getting home, exercising for no real reason(it just distracted me from the boredom), and going to sleep I started to notice that I was purposely putting myself in potentially dangerous situations. I figured people would be mad if I killed myself without first seeking help, so I told someone about it, and because they were scared they made me promise to see a doctor, which I did. The doctor gave me meds which I took, because why not. Didn't get much better.
I no longer got any sort of satisfaction from a hard day's work, so my work ethic went down the drain, and I got laid off. I guess the meds started to work at this point because this sort of news would have normally not affected me much, and I would have looked for a new job, but instead, I was resentful. I gave my boss a big fuck you and drove home.
Hate isn't the best emotion but it was the first emotion I had felt in ages, and my brain couldn't get enough of it. I hated just about everything, all the people trying to help me, any sort of entertainment, myself.
So one day I was laying on the kitchen floor when I got up to get some water, on my way to the sink I dropped my glass and it shattered everywhere.
>>563047039 this article hit me in the feels when i first read it and how all these authors I love and make me laugh, all are depressed or have anxiety. And theres nothing I can do to make them laugh like they do me. >feels guilty for laughing
I am almost 30 now. I´m still living with my parents, I'm overweight and I lost my girlfriend about 4 months ago because I had a lot of problems she wouldn't care about. I have no degree and my job is a fucking call center which I hate to the very core but I can't quit it because I have no other skill in a third world country. It is very hard to get up every day. I can't stop thinking about the girl that left. Will I ever find someone else again? probably not.
>>563048927 i'm actually just turning into a weeping angel... but hopefully the raggedy doctor will save me at the last minute... >i can't talk about it because feels. I have inflammation around my organs... treatment isn't going well. This is why i'm here.
>>563049642 Maybe one day, not sure if everyones ready for that, I do have the url saved though. >>563049861 Step dad(who I consder to be my real father) died 11 years ago, that was really why i was so depressed and shit, then of course I met 'her'. Bio dad, haven't talked to in about 10 years, because he was a key element for the way i was towards my step dad, poisoned and manipulated me against him and all.
I don't often post here. I've been here for a long time. 4chan is really the only thing i have in my life. I don't have a single friend because anyone that tries to be my friend i push away. I push everyone away because i feel like that's the only not to get hurt. I regret at times but then i realize what a shitty friend i would be so i simply accept it. Im a 20 year old virgin faggot. At times i want a gf but at the same time i don't. I want to find a girl that has been damaged and has no hope for this world. I want to lie to her and tell her how beautiful this world is. Because when we die i know that we will cease to exist. There is no heaven or hell. When we die all our memories will be gone, all those feelings we feel for our loved ones will be gone. Its game over, there are no restarts. I just want a girl to lie to and tell her everything will be ok. But then again, i don't want one. I don't want to spread my sadness/depression to her or anyone. Why am i even posting this i don't know. I have a steady job and i make a decent living. I don;t want money. I just want to live and enjoy life. I just don't know how. Iv'e lashed myself out of society. I dont know how to interact. The only interaction i have is talking to my co workers. Whats the point of this post? shit i don't even know.
You know the thing that always makes me cry? The inscription on the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Westminster Abbey. I'm not a Britbong, I've never served, I don't even think any of my family served in the Great War. But every time I read those words, I tear up, especially when I read the last words on the inscription:
"They buried him among the kings, for he had done good towards God and towards his house."
Just think on that one. They buried this man, an unknown peasant among the highest of the land, because he, along with so many other men, heeded the call of a king they'd only heard on the radio, to go to a place they only knew of as "those fags across the channel," to fight in a place they could only imagine as hell itself, and to die, all for a nation who would never know their names.
It makes me tear up every time, to think that, knowing that this would be the only honor that their fallen would receive, the crown would bury this man and, in essence, all the unknown soldiers like him, in the only grave in the Abbey that you cannot step on.
"For he had done good toward God, and toward his house."
Britfags, feel free to tell me if I fucked this up.
>>563050569 Maybe one day, as for right now, I just can't bring myself to do it. I'd probably just end up yelling at him, maybe even fight him. That guy changed me into a scary miserable person. Fathers are supposed to protect their kids from people like that, not being them.
I cried, and I cried for hours. I can't describe the feeling I got in my chest or tell you why something so ridiculous caused it, but I laid down on the kitchen counter(glass on floor) and made the most pathetic noises as I covered my face, tears streaming from my eyes. I thought about every time I wanted to cry, but was incapable. At about 3 in the morning I stopped whimpering and my eyes dried up and you know the feeling of calmness and happiness you get after crying, well that feeling but times 1000 hit me hard all at once, and I laughed so hard. The kind of laughter you get after you win a sporting event, or finish a really long essay, or ride a roller coaster. I cried some more but this time tears of joy, and I was still laughing. By the end of it my stomach and jaw hurt like a bitch but I didn't care. I had been in a state of hopelessness for what seemed like forever and all of a sudden it was over. In no way did I expect it to happen so quickly, or when it did. This was about 2 weeks ago and since I found a new job that I start on Monday and every part of my life has been getting better.
No one's gonna read this but I just wanted to leave my story so it might cheer a /b/ro up.
>>563051047 Step dad was really fucking wonderful man, really wonderful. Treated me no different from his own kids, really loved me like his own.
Bio dad whom I would go with on weekends, just would tell me how horrible step dad was, how awful he was. He was abusive in every way, I walkted on egg shells around him all the time.
Sometimes I would leave for the weekend happy. I'd come back more angry than ever, his abuse and manipulation really poisoned me against step dad, who only wanted to love me..and for me to love him. Bio dad wouldn't allow that, he hated step dad, and turned me against him. Only ever showed me that if I ever get close to someone...they'd only treat me like shit, only hurt me.
So I couldn't lost step dad back, only gave him anger and hate, because bio dad never taught me that I could be loved. Never taught me love. Before I knew how much he meant to me...step dad died, and my whole world started to fall apart.
What was your dad story again? I'm not sure you shared, or maybe we've been so wrapped up in our 'hers' that I can't recall
>be me >be 18 fresh out of high school unable I pay for college >be fat nerd >start working out >get Job working retail > figure I'll go to school next year > start to thin out, make friends with co workers > too young to drink so I never get invited out. >best work buddy quits and rarely talks to me now >lost 70lbs now and am now lifting weights >meet summer new hires, all seem cool >last week. >new hire hottie asks if anyone every told me I was attractive >"uh, ha, no thanks I guess" >text her for a while, flirting, ask her for pics,says she doesn't do nudes >beta out, "I don't want to ruin your friendship,lol sorry" >last day of work, saying goodbye to everyone, girls hug me log and tight. >get told I'm hot and will get laid in college >"but why didn't you tell me this before..." >give numbers out to old co workers "okay anon I'll text you later today!"
> no one has texted me. >be 19 and starting college next Thursday
>>563051886 Dad was fucked up and much older than mom... Only saw him on school vacations... Always tense. Step dad was only real dad I had but then mom and him got divorced... don't know how to bridge the gap. Real dad got sick around christmas of my sr year of college. arranged to "talk everything out". died on my mom's birthday.
I'm always cry when thinking about my dad. My parents got divorced when i was 13 and we moved to a different country 2 years later, leaving him behind. I don't cry because I miss the great memories we had together, but because of the what if, what if he's still with us to raise me how to be a man, what if he didn't dump my mother for another woman, what if he could've called me all these years just to talk but he chose not to, what if from the beginning he didn't actually care about his son ;(
Back when I was in car sales I'd visit my girlfriend at the restaurant she hosted at every lunch break since she was right across the street from the dealership. Usually i would just come in, say hi, grab some rolls for lunch and tell her that i loved her very much and would text her throughout the workday when I could. During the winter she would work a gift card booth outside the restaurant in the mall it was caddy cornered to, and I would stop by there and talk to her a little longer since things weren't so busy. One day i visited her and throughout our talk she was doodling on an orange post-it not and when she was finished I asked to see what it was. It was just a couple of stick figures, one with a balloon in his hand flying away as the other, the balloon salesman, distressed over the other's departure. I asked if I could take the sketch with me and she said she didn't mind so I did. I wasn't sure what kind of meaning I had for it when I first saw it but it somehow struck a chord with me, and I kept it in my wallet ever since. I looked at it from time to time, to give me some kind of hope and security. Sometimes I lay it on my nightstand and look at it as I fall asleep on nights that I don''t feel too well. I thought of myself as the salesman, distressed over the departure of the other whom was flying away. I never knew why until now.
>>563052260 The worst is that he always did manual labor and barely made enough to live on. Lived with my elderly grandparents till they died... he died 2 years later. He always came home sweating... and now I even smell like him.
>>563052331 Yes I remember that, so much going on in my head, hard to hold everything.
Yeah dude, the only way to bridge the gap is little by little, take it one brick at a time. You care about him, I'm sure he cares about you as well, it's worth reaching out, he'd appreciate that I think, hell I would if I were him.
>>563052942 Yeah... same deal as you though... biodad fucked me up. I always had to be the one to initiate contact with biodad. after 22 years of that I feel if stepdad wanted to talk to me he would contact me. It's stupid and I know I should be the one to step up...
>>563052674 Yeah step dad was a mechanic, worked on big tractors and crap before he got hurt on the job and was on disability. The smell of oil and rubber really hits home, I breathe it in like it's life...I'm more like him every day, or atleast I hope
>>563053309 Remember what we said about 'her'? That as long as they were happy we'd just sit there with our mouths shut. I can see maybe your step dad doing that right now. You should get together with him, or tlak to him, all in time when you're ready of course. I can imagine the feels that would happen during that would be huge
>>563040087 thank you for that, anon. i needed that very much. i have an approximately similar situation in my life, and perhaps someday it will work out for the best. until then, it's like a tiny shard of kryptonite concealed within my heart.
>Be me, 10 yrs old >Alcoholic dad, str8 edge catholic mom >parents are separated >get off the bus from school one day >one the way home, neighbor tells me i have to stay at their place for a bit >look down road, see cops at my house >wtf.jpg >mom comes by later, says we're going to a 'women's shelter' until they can find my dad >confused.png >right before we leave find out dad was found at his new place >dad tried to kill self, knife in chest >dad goes to jail for 5 years, never quite sure for what, assume attempted murder >find out he broke, raped mom, tried to kill her, couldn't do it, attempt suicide
>>563053719 Thanks man, damn that cap...that has my eyes watery. And yeah I hope if he's not proud of anything else...that he'd be proud of how I'm treating my nephews. Trying my best to be like him in that.
I know it really seems that most girls are completely heartless. They can just seemingly up and forget about you, and leave you behind to pick up your pieces that they couldn't care less about. The stories we read on these threads about lost love, loneliness, and suicide.
Everyone is looking for 'the one'. All you want to do it pour your love and attention into someone to get some meaning out of your life, and for fuck sake it's really difficult to find someone who will accept it.
It's painful. It really is. Love will hurt you.
But sometimes, if you're lucky, you'll find a girl hiding away in her room, just like you. And she'll seem strange at first.
Plays games to pass the time. Draws the monsters she used to imagine as a kid. Likes to laugh and make stupid jokes. Points at neat things she sees on the street and asks you what you think about it.
But she'll be just as confused and heartbroken as you too. Thinking too much about the things she has no control over. Feeling sorry for herself and seeking company with people who feel the same way, even if she doesn't even know any of their names.
And she'll realise that being lonely with you has made her really happy. And she'll toss in her bed thinking about it, about you.
And she'll shake, and giggle nervously. And she'll slowly build up the courage to tell you that you mean more to her than anything else in her life.
And for the first time you will realise, all of us will realise, that there are people just like you in this world. And they are not alone even when they think they are.
And, to be honest, they will love you more than you will ever imagine.
>Be 20 and have loving long distance ex >Spend hours talking, chatting, joking >Literally the happiest time in my life >She breaks up with me due to emotional issues and long distance. >Heart broken, I'm crushed and utterly destroyed. >I spend the next 3 months trying not to kill myself. >Telling myself that it'll get better, she was just a stepping stone into a real romance. >January 6th 2013 rolls around. >Lose home >My family, (mom, sister, two dogs & two cats) move into a motel as all of our possessions go to storage. >Lose interest in school, life, work. >End up dropping out of college to get a more hours and a second job to help keep my family at this motel. >October 2013, finally got a place and trying to become happy again. >Still remember my ex and occasionally look up her twitter account. >She's engaged. >heartbroken again.
I told her that I wanted to hold her until the world stopped spinning... I guess hers stopped before mine did.
Spaghettifag here What is it like having a friend? Is there such a thing as friendship?
I lost my best and childhood friend because she didn't think I was "cool" like I was when we first met. And she's right, when I got into high school I developed a social anxiety disorder after being rejected and made fun of dozens of times. I can't carry a good conversation anymore.
Hell, I don't know if I even want a friend anymore. I dropped out of college after my first year because I just lost all my will and hope for myself. I'm now a NEET lying to my family members outside my mom and dad that I'm attending a community college.
Everyday I feel empty, but at the same time, I feel safe. I feel safe from that rejection and ridicule I get a lot.
I moved from my country to another in search for a job (legal visa, work permit, degree and post-graduate diploma) and want to work in the film industry... I've been 3 weeks here and nothing, not even a response to any job application.
I've been applying online but nothing.. I could really go with any job but you definitely need connections, a friend I made had a friend that offered me a job, but it was at a metal recycling plant from 7 pm to 7 am.. pay was not bad but I felt that if I took that job I wouldn't have any opportunities applying for the job I want.
I mean, sometimes I think I came here for a reason, and I have to wait for it to happen or for an opportunity to.. present itself. Sometimes I feel a wave of good luck and good stuff happening, but then I realize I'm as far from the thing I came here in the first place that a sense of despair fills me and I can only drown that feel in alcohol and marihuana, not to feel that fucking wave of depression.. and it works..
Fuck man, I mean I'm drunk and high right now and I feel at peace. But just today I woke up and the first thing I had was a beer, I'm not even sure if this life style is a product of me not getting what I want or I'm not getting what I want because of my life style.
i don't know what to do /b/ros, its not nearly half as bad as any of your stories but i need to vent it out
I had a girlfriend of 3 years just recently break up with me i wanna say a month or two ago. I lost it, the love of my life is gone now. I had everything when i was with her...she saved me from killing myself. she was the one who finally made me happy for once. everyday i was with her i felt like i finally had something worth living for again. i was able to start talking to old friends that i pushed away when i was depressed. because she gave me the courage and happiness to do so. It just recently happened this last spring break.. she told me she was only going to be gone for a weekend but ended up staying a week in some place i never even heard of. I didnt talk to her at all that week and when she got back she instantly broke up with me. Out of the blue, i had no clue what i had done or what i could have done. I was crushed and still am...she just told me how she cheated on me multiple times while she was up in that town or whatever she was in... I thought i was over here /b/ros since its been a month or two..but i just recently found a letter she wrote me for our 2 year anniversary..ive been crying since...i know this isnt important /b/ros but thanks for listening.. I love 4chan and i come here all the time to cheer myself up just alittle bit...i just dont know how i feel anymore, i feel as if im falling back into depression. But i wanna say to thank you to all of you for atleast getting a smile out of me once in awhile..
>>563034068 I posted this in a baww thread last sunday so dont flip on me if you were there too but i havnt seen her since then and every second is killing me. It is literally terring me appart knowing this is gonna happen
>>563034068 I feel ya, >Lost GF about a year ago, still miss her >Even had a dream about her last night >Lost all my friends and I don't know why >Only social interaction I have is 2 stoner friends who I still see like less than once a month
>>563034145 Also this is way too personalized. Whoever is reading this will be fucked. Stop making it so fucking personal between you and them. And if you're going to kill yourself do it in a way that looks like it was an accident. Go skydiving and don't use your parachute.
>be me in high school >have grill best friend >i didn't have any feeling toward her except the-best-friend things >after graduate we were getting closer >we went to different university >but distance means nothing to us >phone call and never ending chat >eventually we fall in love each other >we express each others feeling >but we can't be together because i had girlfriend and she was busy with her friends on campus >she said nothing will change after this >next week she send me message >she left me >ff 2 years, 2 weeks ago >we met each other, talk a lot >now had some serious relationship with a guy >she said 2 years ago, that message was intended to gave me some time to clear my head and take some decision about my relationship >mfw i thought she left me >mfw she waited for me >mfw i keep waiting and thinking of her until now
Don't torture yourself man, she was yours and you loved her. But she betrayed the code, the only thing that matters in a relationship. We humans should develop a defend mechanism for that type of shit because it always happen. Like oh you betrayed me with another guy? Bye forever, I mean not even a button that would wipe all memories of her.. but a button that forgives, forgets and moves on.
I mean, that's the only reasonable reason to hate someone. But that's not even recommendable, just.. cherish just moments you had with her, because they happened for a reason, but realize also that some things are broken and no matter how hard you try to mend them, they will always remain broken and be thankful you didn't waste more life and more of your valuable energy of someone that doesn't value yours.
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