ITT: We pretend to all live under the same roof.
-Jesus fucking Crhist Jeff, for the last time, stop using my fleshlight.
Dammit Tyrone! Why the fuck you keep buying the Wal-Mart brand hot sauce!
Guys, i met this girl on Craiglist and i'm going on a date with her. How do i look? Please be honest.
Guys, who's gonna clean up the kitchen tonight?
Guys, can you stop leaving the toilet seat up, I almost fell in the last time I used it.
who the fuck was in my room? i fucking hate to live here
seriously guys please stop touching my girl friends
Fuk da police!
Where da white wimin at?
Who the fuck put this under the stairs? Smells like pure shit.
Ahhh guys we were out of TP so I just wiped my ass on the wall and banister, OK?
just a heads up everybody, I'm going to have like 10 people over tonight, nothing major again, I promise
fug :DDD de bolice are here to arresd us xDDDD qwick, brign the modorized kart :DDDDDD
TYRONE! Come to my room, let's see this, please come alone.
you made spaghetti a fucking week ago clean the god damned pot.
WE HAVE A PARTY TONIGHT? Please guys get me a chick.
who keeps leaving cum in the /b/ house trap's ass?
you are supposed to clean that shit when you are done with her
chicks drop left and right for him, like he needs your help
You mean that shit is a week old? excuse me will I vomit.
umm guys, i'm the only one who had realized that the Party Van had been in the other side of street for almost one week?
How many times do I have to tell you fuckers the food on the middle shelf is mine.
BTW I jizzed on that sandwich before I put it inthe fridge just to teach whoever ate it a lesson.
Stop drinking chocolate milk, you're lactose intolerant and keep destroying the bathrooms all the time.
YOU KNOW WHAT? IM NO LONGER KEEPING THIS A SECRET
I AM THE ONE WHO FUCKED YOUR SISTER, OKAY!?!?
Ok, I get the some of you guys might be gay, I can deal with that, but, HOLY SHIT, WOULD YOU STOP FUCKING IN MY ROOM? God damn it, Ian and Paul, you two have your own room, quit fucking in mine!
That's it guys, I'm done! I'm tired of ya'll constantly making a mess and nobody cleans after themselves! I'm moving back in with my parents! Fuck this place and fuck you guys!
Hey guys, this might not be the best time, but you know that weird smell we've had in here for a couple weeks? I totally forgot at the time, but I just remembered I had to pee really bad around that time, and one of you fuckers was using the bathroom for like 2 hours. So I pissed in a cup, but I didn't want everyone to think I'm the kind of guy who goes around pissing in cups, so I moved a ceiling tile back and put it up there. I was gonna pour it out when everyone left, but I kind of forgot. Only reason I mention this, is because it got knocked over somehow, and it's leaking down all over Anon's desk. By the way, I drank your last Mountain Dew. And I borrowed your towel because mine was still wet from yesterday. Oh and I lost the remote. Also I'm moving out, and I can't make rent this month. Peace guys, it's been real.
>Uses last paper towel
>Doesnt replace it
>Makes sandwich directly on counter
>Doesnt wipe off crumbs
I fucking hate you Paul
Have you remembered to hail the Queen today?
> ALL HAIL THE QUEEN
Just got my application back from University, seems like I am moving out in a couple of weeks!
Jeff calm your tits man, go jerk off to the bible or whatever.
Ayy mane, I gotta borrow them for a few days
Fucking finally, tired of supporting your freeloading ass.
you know... mom and dad arent home right now.
Guys, there's a black chick in the kitchen making pancakes...
H-hey guys, I just got back from the doctor's office, and I was diagnosed with skeletons. The doctor says a skeleton somehow accumulated inside of me, probably due to my diet consisting of high doses of calcium, and he says 100% of people who have skeletons die. He says there is no cure. H-how long do i have to live with this horrible thing inside of me?
>pic related, it's the horrible beast that dwells within my body
Hey guys! As a strong feminist womyn, I think this household relationship will be great!
Oh, also, this house seems to be slightly thin-privileged. I demand a bigger bathtub and also a larger toilet seat.
How hard is it to flush THE GOD DAMN TOILET WHEN YOU SHIT?!?!?!?
Who keeps doing this? Is it you Jeff?
What are you guys going to do with your life apart from sitting in your rooms gaming for the rest of your life?
Oh my girlfriend is coming over to celebrate me getting into Harvard for Law, so please do not intrude on us!
One last thing I forgot to mention, you know how I've been using chewing tobacco and I've had bottles of dip spit on my desk and on the counter and everything? Well I've been keeping them. I never threw a single one away. I've collected my brownish chunky spit for an entire year. I've filled up 8 different 2 liter bottles and a myriad of water bottles. That one time I brewed everyone some fresh tea, and you all thought it tasted like shit? Dip spit. Anyway, I'm leaving it all in the closet. Be careful throwing it out though, some of the bottles leak a little and the caps aren't screwed on all the way.
Naw, I got it, I've been waiting for this....
Sell weed, get bitches and smoke weed.
>You're just jelly
Where can I set up my ball pit?
cmon Jeff I TOLD U TO LET THE DOG OUT BEFORE WORK. you owe me new bed sheets
Guys, I think I caught something during our last slave run, I feel like shit and it feels like my blood is boiling out of me....
Oh shit guise, I think I hear something coming up the street.
Uh guys I tnink someone called the cops hide the weed
Dude put the hookers in your closet
HOW THE FUCK CAN WE AFFORD THIS ELECTRICITY AND INTERNET WHEN NONE OF US HAVE JOBS?! YOU BETTER NOT START FINALLY TAKING SHOWERS NOW, 'CAUSE GOD ONLY KNOWS WHERE WATER MONEY WOULD COME FROM!
You fuckers ready to smoke some purp and jam out?
OH SHIT! IT'S THE ICE CREAM TRUCK!
[coughing] What'll it [wheeze] be booooys?
Dude yo gotta get that bitch who od'd last week out of the bath tub
C'mon. Everybody likes frozen dairy deserts.
I'll take the banana split with the extra long banana and nuts.
Which one of you faggots drank my chocolate milk!?
GUYS I FOUND A RACCOON ON OUR FENCE CAN WE KEEP IT?
Plenty. Free for house members
I have whatever you need
PARTAY TIME UP IN THIS MOTHERFUCKER
Aw, man, I can never bring my dead bitches! I mean, Barry has four in the closet, we can throw one of his away. Whatever, I'm not going, Juan's parties are always lame anyways and I didn't wanna go and only pussies need pussy to live... sob, sniff... I'M GOING TO MY ROOM!!
You did say fry the laptops, right?
I'm doing free penis measurements in my room if anyone is interested
Guys, the bathroom needs a little cleaning, don't you think?
ive named the raccoon rocket
>-Jesus fucking Crhist Jeff, for the last time, stop using my fleshlight.
do you want me to start using your arsehole instead ?
i mean, DUDE, you're wearing my slippers, like my FEET'S been in there, so like, it's the same thing, right?
Who the fuck came on my keyboard?
See she will have friends
which one of you faggots left the condom on the doorknob
because i'm going stuff it up your arse !
Bu-but I never get any pussy, e-ever! I-I'm a 24 year-old kissless vuh-virgin and you guys never even try to help me! The one time I succeeded at drugging that ginger bitch, Barry hit me in the head with a bat and stole her! She's still in the closet and everything!
g-guys, what's going on in Tyrone's bedroom?
Do whatever you want with those things as long as they're off the fucking bathroom.
Fuck, we haven't even started to repair what Steve did to the other one.
Hey guys I ordered a new fuck doll want to take a turn?