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>>564043564 Bwaaa, retard. Your birthday will only ever be interesting if you make it so. You sound like my exwife. If you cant be happy alone, you cant be happy with someone else either. What makes you think that other people are in any way responsible for your happiness? Change your life. Been there though but I cant sympathize with you because it would be like trying to sympathize with a potato for being potato.
>>564041331 I have had this crush on dis grill for 3 years now we flirt, a lot. ut i keep getting cockblocked by her cousin, i leave for jobcorps in less than a week. she now has a boyfriend that she is obsessed with. What the fuck did i do wrong?
Why not celebrate every day that you're with that person instead? If it means that much to you. Otherwise your selfishness is showing. "It hurts me that you can't remember some arbitrary date in the past. You don't love me. Waah."
>>564041331 You guys are all a bunch of pussies. And i have fucking bipolar disorder.
If you want to get better, stop with this stupid "MUH FEELS" treads and learn to control yourself. Sometimes feels like a big part of /b/ want to a girl to knock on their door and give them a blowjob, a nice career and a objective in life.
So, I've been having reoccurring dreams about this girl I use to know it high school. Whenever I wake up or think about said dreams during the day, I get a feeling like a pit in my stomach or some shit. I was pretty good friends with this chick, had a crush on her, but it was obvious she wasn't into me so nothing came from it. We lost contact after HS, and while I felt bad, I didn't really worry about it. I'm staying at my parents' house for the summer until Uni starts back up in another state, and while I was driving around town, I thought I saw her crossing the street. Since then, I've felt panicked and bad, and I've been dreaming about her, and I don't know why. It's been like five years since I've talked to her. Why do I feel bad about somebody I haven't talked to in five years?
>>564048182 You mean college/University? You'll still have quite a bit of down time, but you'll have to manage it so much better. It's easy to dick off when you're not use to it, and high school doesn't really prepare you since most classes are easy as fuck and let you finish your homework in class (at least mine did). Just focus on what's important and plan down time when needed.
>>564048182 >>564049884 Also, you won't really have "homework" for a lot of classes in the conventional sense. Your school will assume you're working/studying outside of class and the mandatory work they make you do. Make sure you actually do study/review for shit at least once a week for each class. It will make shit so much easier on yourself.
Thank you. Because it seems like everyone I talked to including my dad was telling me my life would be nothing but hard work for the next 4 years. Dad was tell me no more video games, staying up late, Ect because it would be school and studying and nothing else for the next 4 years.
>never wanted to go to this school or major >told parents I might not be interested >totally unacknowledged >going to school for computer engineering and possibly telecom shit >going to become a leader in the cable industry >mfw I never wanted any of this and this is the path that was chosen for me
I would be happy with a small computer repair shop or something. Though a true dream of mine was voice acting. I never wanted to live big like this. But my destiny is not my own. I'll just blow my brains out when I'm 30 year old millionare virign at a cable company.
>>564050968 It's still going to be hard work, but it's going to be a practice in managing when you work, especially for the first 1-2 years. Third and fourth year will be harder, but you'll still have free time here or there. Just don't waste it on stupid shit, you know? Or, if you're completely tired, then waste it on stupid shit just to chill out.
Also, I'd really recommend not going into a major you don't enjoy. It's the worst kind of waste of money. I don't know what kind of cash you're throwing at this (I'm paying my own way through school, no parents), but I'd recommend going for something you enjoy. Unfortunately, acting and other artsy stuff typically isn't in as high of a demand as others would like, and going to Uni for that might fuck you.
>>564041331 Girlfriend of 3 and a half years and I broke up today. It was pretty mutual but I still feel empty inside. I've known her for such a long time and now that we're just friends again I feel like I've come in a complete circle. Feels weird.
I make a lot of money every year, can probably do anything I try, can learn anything, and yet I have no close friends in my life, haven't had a girlfriend in 7 years, and am generally total shit at relationships.
I"ve a;ways been able to cloak within the popular people but was always drawn to the "weridos" and eccentrics since middle school. I shared their complex knowledge and disdain for arbitrary social customs. I would have been your friend, casually at the very least.
>>564052732 >Only 40 minutes >Not large chunks of your life >Not realizing you couldn't kill yourself anyway because you're a pussy >And even if you weren't a pussy, you'd probably fuck it up somehow >Not planning it out anyway >Not planning on killing yourself using a shotgun to the brains somewhere alone where nobody will find you for a while because you don't want to be an attention whore or get in their way >Not leaving that as your default way out if shit gets too bad >Not planning on doing it once your parents are dead since you won't have a reason to live after that point anyhow >2014 shiggidydiggidydo
>>564052786 I don't think so...There's no real proof that says, that is what they're doing. >They're on concrete >Only water surrounds them, and only thing the dog sloshes onto the fish >Using his/her nose only, never attempts to scratch at the ground It just makes no sense to think or say that they're trying to bury it...Animals are compatible of emotion, intelligence and compassion. Maybe we just interpret it that way, because that's what we expect/are used to seeing them do.
>>564050968 No, you don't want that small repair shop job. Right now it seems cool and fun, but when your 25-30 and you see your friends that went into engineering and now make 70k + a year and live a life you cannot touch (inb4 people claim making 70k is common, it's not). When your young you don't realize exactly how important money is. It opens the doors to better homes, vacations, women, social status, and overall happiness. But, college/University is the best time of your life. Old enough to get the perks of being an adult (drinking, going out as late as you want, sex since everyone puts out) but you can still fall back on being young and experimenting as an excuse. Ya, you have to work at school now and sometimes you'll have to work really really hard, but overall it's way more fun then just joining the work force, and kicks the shit out of highschool.
Alright /b/, writing this right now. Hope it doesn't 404 before I post. >Be me, 2 years ago >Had awesome grandfather who taught me so many things and told fascinating stories about when he was younger >I could always see how proud he was of of me in his eyes when I helped him change the oil on his car or something as a kid >skip to 2 years ago >Find out he got prostate cancer >It gets worse and spreads quickly >He's stuck in bed and can't get up at all >My dad kept asking asking me and my sisters to visit him >I was too busy with world of warcraft and never felt up to it, always making excuses >Dad tells me he doesn't have much time left, but I let it fly over my head >Finally decide decide to go >While there, he holds my arm and in a raspy, barely audible voice tells me how tall and strong I had gotten since since I last saw him >Can see it on his his face how much he's suffering >Week later, find out he died >I never spent enough time with him, I ignored every chance I had the last years of his life >The only man I ever looked up to is gone forever and I was too preoccupied with pointless crap that I never tried tried to make his final days last. If your grandparents are still alive, please don't make the same mistake that I did.
>>564053869 >sex since everyone puts out I wish I knew where these women were in my school. Then again, it probably doesn't help the male to female ratio is some shit like 5:1, so I'm sure that shit doesn't help at all. It'd probably be easier to pick up women in the next college town over if I wasn't lazy/busy/lazy.
Lost my first family while in military Child died in womb could Not Be there for her while she was devastated left me during New Years while I was alone in some shitty barracks 2,000 miles away from her Song reminds me of her
I'de like to add that I do have regrets not pursuing relationships with people with your personality. I can fake it and did get girls, friends etc. (partly because I was good looking partly because i could fake talking to people) but later in life they don't relate to much but consumer crap. Wish I had an aspie bro in a symbiotic relationship, someone to discuss mechanics of economics and actual mechanics while giving my two cents on their weak social interaction.
>>564053538 Ya, it's ok but not the same as a human-human relationship. I think my general sense of abandonment and rejection came from childhood and has carried into my adult life. Whether or not I create that because I am used to it, or I am just destined to be rejected and abandoned is up for debate. At what point does 'there must be something wrong with me' cease to be a paranoid conclusion drawn from an emotionally ill point of view and start to be 'the way it is?'
>>564053239 Well something is wrong with me. People envy me for my talent, intelligence, and success, and I envy them for the ease at which they get along. I've always watched with keen curiosity at how others connect, and stumped completely at how I never have.
>>564053276 Ya I can cloak in pretty much any group I find myself in. The only time I feel normal is when I'm alone.
Years ago I looked at myself in the mirror and decided to change for the better. I told myself I was a likeable guy. I could be funny, witty, and charming if I actually tried. I used to assume people insulted my behind my back all the time and I assumed that they only pretended to like me; that I wasn't like, but I was tolerated.
But I changed that. I take care of myself, smile into that mirror, and go about each day trying to make the most of it. But I just can't shake that fear, and deep down I still feel that dread.
The only person I'm fooling by smiling in this mirror is me.
>>564043564 me an my girlfriend share a birthday. Since we share a lot of our friends we have one party for both of us. Most people forget it's my birthday. People only seem interested in her. Whenever she says something people always seem interested. I haven't been able to get an erection to anything real in 2 months. We took a break, hopefully I can get my shit together before a month or she is going to break up with me.
>>564053916 looks like he waited for you to show up. Sometimes, it looks like people manage to buy time for a last thing to settle.
>grandmother has cancer >extremely weakened, in hospital, can't do much of anything, doctors say she doesn't have more than a couple of weeks >we invite her over (with driving her to our place and back of course) >she accepts >around the evening, we ask if she's alright and that we can drive her back whenever she wants if she feels too tired >"I stay here and play cards" >she seemed like a teenage girl cheating curfew while playing cards with us >When it's finally time to leave for the hospital, she says "It's the last time I'll be able to come here like this" >She dies the next day
It really felt to me like she knew it, and she said "screw you death, imma play cards, and you'll fetch me later". Was really weird, didn't know if I should be sad for her to be gone or happy for her to have stolen that day at our place and gone with a last happy memory.
ok you got me to confess with this thread's length
>in highschool >had regular neighborhood/highschool group of friends >sleep overs,(awesome when young) >do fun shit like go to rennfairs, build homemade arrows and bows >skateboard, light gas with flint screwed to bottom of board >play vidya together fire works, other kid stuff >camp together >make funny videos together for class >get older >play airsoft together in teens and other shenanigans >get older >drink together have friendly times >be 27 all the sudden one of us dies from brain clot out of nowhere on new years > 27 now we're too young for this shit I thought
tfw year old highschool friend dead at veiwinglooks exactly how you remember after 10 years of friendship for just random medical cause.
My career is now making video, My first ones were with him when we were 15. I still have them on my hard drives.
Here we go. I've only told this to a couple close friends.
>Parents divorced when I was 9 >Dad won custody of myself and my sister >Dad did everything for us. Got us whatever we wanted. Spoiled the ever loving shit out of us within is power. >Worked 10-12 hours a day >Still managed to spend time with us getting minimal sleep. >I turn 15. >Dad tells me he went to the doctors and has Cancer. I have no idea what that entails. >After a surgery and some Chemo I figure things are looking up and he should be back to normal soon. >He's losing his hair. >He's losing weight. >I'm 17 now. >Uncle wants to talk. >Uncle tells me my Dad is dying. Deep down, I knew. But I never heard it and it hit me hard. >Family is all in living room. Father, grandparents, uncle(his brother), cousin, sister. >Uncle asks Dad what he thinks about something. >Dad says, "I just want to get better".
3 weeks later, my Dad died of cancer. I lost the most important thing in the world to me. As soon as he died, I took a very long walk around my block. And talked to him as if he could hear me. I've never been religious either. I was just hoping he could hear me. Since for the last 2 weeks, he wasn't able to speak or move. I ended up dropping out of highschool and getting a job. (same job today 8 years later) The estate he set up is no longer paying for this house and I am instead. But not a day goes by I don't think about my Dad.
>>564053916 I remember posting on here when my grandmother died. Last older gen family member. I am thankful i was smart enough to call her nearly every weekend while she was still alive. Just chat about random shit, food, cooking, her part time volunteer shit she did after my grandfather died.
I've never told anyone else in my family this, but I had this strange feeling i knew her extremely well during the last couple years of her life. I was mentally in a bad spot, and i think she knew too. I think we both knew we didn't want to live or try anymore, but she always energized me when she begged me to talk about what i was working on. She knew nothing about what projects i was doing, or what matlab or fluorescence spectroscopy was, but she did get me to "crack on".
I just remember talking to her the last month or so, and hearing how "finished" she was. it's very unearthly to actually hear from an old person that they're just done. and that sinks in.
i was there when my grandmother was having a stroke, and i had no idea what was going on. sometimes i really regret not going into medicine
>>564056709 >As soon as he died, I took a very long walk around my block. And talked to him as if he could hear me. I've never been religious either. I was just hoping he could hear me. Since for the last 2 weeks, he wasn't able to speak or move.
that was my experience as well, though i was with my family member for only 3 days before, well death. i may actually just go outside right now, have a smoke and a chat with my grandma. it's not fun or happy, but more like refreshing. or necessary. im not a linguist
>>564057008 Yeah dude, I hear you. On the screen, we may be just an ID that hides behind a post, but in real life, we are all some sick cunts. We have all been at this one place. We both know what place I'm talking about. The place, where the shit hit or will hit the fan to the point of no return. But because we've all been at this particular place, we understand each other extremely good.
>>564056709 Sorry to hear that.. Nobody should lose their parents at that age.. Fucking cancer man.. What do you guys say about making some sort of donation thing for cancer? Because fuck cancer thats why, if we get enough money and people notice it light even give 4chan a better reputation, I have no idea if its a good idea or a bad one, nor do I know were to do the donation thing, was just an idea, have lost close relatives to cancer myself
>>564057703 It did definitely give me some solace. Some how. >>564057743 I've donated before. I'm just not the richest guy out there lol. It sounds like a good idea. But I don't think that kind of thing will work on 4chan let alone /b/.
>>564058049 Prob not, but as you can see, every time a feelsthread pops up, all kind of nice persons caring, im not talking about donating thousands and thousands each, talking about 5-10$ each, hate cancer, gets everyone that doesnt deserve to die..
>>564048182 Yeah, that’s what engineering is. It’s work. Welcome to the real fucking world, you goddamn retard. Either find something you love to do or enjoy being a worthless pile of shit the rest of your life.
>>564050583 When Robin died I about lost my shit. It was like seeing my own personification, the strong face that he gave the world, all while hating himself, all while thinking he was worthless.
The worst part is no amount of logic changes it. Someone tells me they love me? It's fleeting. Someone congratulates me on something? The feeling disappears rather quickly. Someone genuinely confides their feelings in me? It's because of the persona I put forth, the wisecracking asshole who smiles at everything, who can't be gotten down.
He was like us. Just like us in so many ways. The same struggles, the same strengths.
Jesus fuck Robin why the hell did you have to die, I wanted to meet you so much.
I go to uni in september. My cat basically lives in my room. He eats, drinks and sleeps in my room, basically next to me. Sometimes he curls up and sleeps on my chest. Knowing that I'm going to university in not that long means that I won't be able to see him any more. He's my only real friend /b/ :'( Tearing up as I type this. I don't want to leave him. We're partners. Pic related, his name is Billy.
>>564061958 Be in 2 year relationship with girl that i first felt like i could say i "loved" this is how that ended.. >Gf and I have been fighting, nothing bad, just mad at each other >When i get mad i keep my distance and let each of us cool off >In that time, she goes and hangs out with anyone >Recently it was one guy in specific We'll call him jake >Her and Jake have a lot in common, both have dead fathers, both went through self harm, both are schizophrenic >I understand why they're friends >She starts to talk to him and be with him... more than me.. >Bring it up, that its concerning me >"No no its okay i dont like him like that, i mean, i love him, but its like he's my brother" >Okay just making sure was just really paranoid Fast forward a month or so >Fighting again >She says she's going to goto her moms and have a few drinks >"I'd rather you didnt drink, especially not to cope with stuff like this, itll just start a habit" I dealt with alcoholism for a while.. >"Pfft not like it matters to you, bye" >She hung up >Sigh.. oh well, text her telling her to make sure she's okay and doesnt go do something stupid >No response.. alright >Hour later, get a picture of a bottle of Jack Daniels on a carpet about half full >Says she had about 1/2 of whats already gone >Ask her to stop drinking, and have her vow on her love to me that she wont have any more >She says fine and hangs up >Hour later get a call >Shes fucking drunk.. im pissed >Tell her to stop drinking and she gets all mad at me >I can tell she's not at her mom's cause carpet for 1 and theres someone else in the background >Call her out on it "Im at Jake's" >Alright, just dont do anything youll regret, and i suggest you stop drinking now. >Whatever, hangs up >Calls me again a bit later, all i can hear is crying and "I just want this one night for everything to go away" >Im coming to get you, whats the address? >No. Hangs up >I know its in the general direction of the town Cont.
>>564063360 Mid January in New York.. cold as hell >Throw pajama pants on, jeans over them, layer up and put my jacket on and grab gloves >Start walking towards town Snowing, windy, cold as fuck. >Stop by a gas station and buy a water bottle rest up a bit, and continue walking >Finally convince her to give me the address >Its fucking 12 miles away. >Whelp, continue walking >a while passes, get in his neighborhood and ask them to turn front light on so i know which house it is >Its a vacant house, in the process of being sold >See her open the door >Looks at me says "Holy shit its cold out" >Scowl at her and she turns around and walks inside >Make my way up the foot and a half of snow covered drive way >Take off all my layers so im not sweating like fuck inside >she's got a bottle of cotton candy vodka in her hand about 1/2 full and a glass >She tells me that either she's going to drink the rest of it, or i am >Take bottle from her and drink chasing with water back and forth until its gone I was half a year clean from drinking after being a depressed alcoholic >Sit up against wall, eyes closed, just relaxing after the walk >Her and Jake are on the other side of the room holding each other whispering >Ask them what they're on about >She gets up and takes my hand and has me follow her downstairs, very stumbbly might i add >Sitting in pitch black basement >"I cheated on you with him.." >Okay. >"Want to talk about it?" >nope. >"Can we talk about it?" >im just going to go back upstairs. Come up slowly, dont want you falling. >Get upstairs and jake is sitting in the corner burning his wrists >Take the lighter from him and he gets all mad at me but finally calms down >Gf comes back up, sits with him again >He says "Im really surprised you're not kicking my ass right now" >Fighting is stupid, sure, i want to kick you teeth in, but thats not getting us anywhere. I guess if she wants to be with you, go ahead, i wont get in the way Cont. Sorry for slow typing
There was this kid in my school who was severely autistic, like the kind that doesn't shower for months, used to always try to get his dandruff on people and pick his nose and flick it at everyone. I've never seen someone get so bullied before, people used to randomly punch him, throw his schoolbag out the window so he has to go get it, and just generally push him around into shit. I always tried my best to stop the bullying whenever I saw it but his safe place was in the school library, this kid absolutely loved pokemon and was always playing it. One day I saw him in the library playing chess on his own, challenged him and somehow fluked my way to an almost victory, he started to cry when he realised and so I moved my king into checkmate to let him win. Anyway towards the last year of school he got skin cancer but was too shy to speak up so it spread throughout his body irreversibly. He died 2 years ago and a week later one of our teachers came to my house and gave me a package because he wanted me to have it upon his death.
In the package was his pokemon yellow, he had 100% completion on it and all of the pokemon were called "nigger", on the inside of the package was a little note written on it, it just said "fuck you adam" in the most retarded looking handwritting you can imagine.
>>564064761 Should be last one >Gf says "I dont want to be with him though, i want to be with you, i just fucked up" >Sigh, fuck... >Alright. If anything like this happens again, theres no chance ill be staying. >She gets all emotional and thanks me >Feeling the vodka kicking in a bit Feels.. good.. >They fall asleep on each other, i fall asleep soon after >Wake up, they're still asleep, put blanket over them and head to gas station to get some coffee >Get 2 larges and come back, drink most of one and then get into the shower Feel weird showering there but.. felt good so fuck it >Dry off mostly with one of my shirts i had, get dressed and come out and sit back down >They wake up soon after, hand them the coffee and sit down and relax >Stay there most the day, walk gf home in silence besides for "i love you" when she's going inside her house >Walk home, keep phone off for a day or so >Talk casually with gf for a while until about 2 months later >Fighting... again.. Been drinking a lot since that night >Get drunk and call her and yell at her and she yells at me >I hang up and throw my phone and fall asleep >Wake up to screen shots of texts she sent to jake, along with nudes she sent to him. I love her... but should i stay if she keeps doing this? >Talk it out, stay with her against what everyone tells me Is this what love is? >After a few months, things fall out, she keeps being abusive towards me and borderline cheating often.. I like her so much.. i dont want to end it, but i do >She cries on the phone for hours with me, saying she'll do better, shes sorry, she loves me. >No. We're done. I dont want to be but.. this is how its going to be. >Sigh.. Drink a lot that day.. a lot. >Apparently i drank too much, i passed out and my sister had to rush me to the hospital >Wake up confused at the hospital, family is all in my room, only person i really wanted there was her... but she was already with someone else, i cried. Got home, drank. Hardly been happy sober since.
>>564051486 Jesus christ anon are you me? I can't deal with the whole "Being friends" shit. I really want to move on but I see her every week. She hasn't been turning up lately though, so I guess it gives me more time to forget. What'd you two break up over?
>>564065556 >>564066567 I wish i did, but i havent, and im not going to be the one to go tearing open old wounds, she's been with a few different guys since, she got in a car accident, brought her flowers, no one was there with her so i stayed a bit longer than planned and was a bit late to work, we talked, pretty much just got closure even though it still hurts like hell, and everything still reminds me of her, and rum and coke doesnt make me any happier, just feel less until i fall asleep. I still want to go kick the kids ass, i still want to go bitch her out and ruin her for all she's done to me, but at the same time.. i just want to go back and have none of that happened, go back and lay with her one more time.. god am i conflicted.. >>564066757 Yes, but nothing that serious, i never felt anything strong until i met her, hence why i stayed so long through out all of that.
>>564066567 Don't drink that much /b/ro, she's not worth. Other /b/ros will be here to help other /b/ros. Let it go, go out for a coffee or something read a book or some shit, get your mind off things, keep yourself occupied. Shit's not worth that much pain.
>>564067334 I try and stop, but then i end up getting more and more depressed, and feel forced to go back to it, dont really have anyone, only people i had were friends of her too and they all tried to jump on the "rebound" after we broke up and they all started to stop talking to me >>564067457 Sucks that living with a crutch feels better than living on a broken leg, i understand where you're coming from and that i should stop drinking. I smoked for a few years and i was able to just stop instantly and feel no repercussions, but alcohol is completely different. Im not going to stop trying to stop drinking, i just dont know if itll end up working one of these days.
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