Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network issues. Refreshing the page usually helps. The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact. You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random
A man discovers his wife is cheating on him with his neighbor. He calls an assassin to come to his home. He says: i want you to shoot my wife in the head and my neighbor in the balls. Can do, says the thief, but i charge 1000 dollars for every bullet i have to shoot. The man agrees. That night, the wife leaves to the house next door. The man and the assassin are sitting by the window across the street. They see the wife and the neighbor fucking in bed so the assassin starts aiming. He waits. and he waits. and he waits. Finally the man asks, what's taking you so long? to which the assassin replies: hey fuck off man, i'm trying to save you a thousand bucks here!
Truman Capote is at a lounge with friends. As the night progresses, several people come up and ask for his autograph, which he gives out very gracefully.
A pretty young woman comes up and asks for his autograph, which he does, and her very drunk boyfriend at the next table has had enough. He staggers over to the table and whips out his dick and lays it on the table and says to Capote, "Here. autograph THIS."
Capote replies, "I don't know if I can autograph that, but I can INITIAL it."
Sorry for my English, it's not my native language.
>A man in a road it's trying to get a lift. >a truck stops and let get a ride to this guy. >when he sat, he notice there is a monkey on the side of the driver. >Ask for the monkey, and the driver says >ohh this monkey, his slap his neck and the monkey starts giving he a blowjob. >the driver look to the guy and ask "Do you want a try? >the guy says, OK, but please don't hit me so hard.
>>564257104 >Guy on top of the world >Decides to go to a fair since it's a beautiful day >Sees a sign saying, "If you're happy, for $1 we can make you miserable" >Thinks to himself "This is bullshit" and walks up to it >Inserts a dollar into the machine >A compartment opens and a bucket of shit falls onto his head, covering him completely >He says "Fuck this" and goes into some bushes behind the machine, trying to clean himself off >Sees another sign "If you feel like you're gonna kill yourself, if your life sucks, insert $1 and we'll make it better" >He thinks 'What do I have to lose' >Puts in a dollar >Huge fire hose pops up from the top of the machine and sprays the entire crowd in a mixture of shit and piss at break-dick speed.
man goes to a bank and say I want to open a fucking account. Teller says stop. I want to open a fucking bank account. She get the manager. He says whats the problem. He says I want to open a fucking back account for $500000. The manager says, is this cunt giving you a problem?
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