[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Home]
4chanarchives logo
Embarrassing childhood stories I'll start!
Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network issues. Refreshing the page usually helps.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

Thread replies: 342
Thread images: 65
File: fml.jpg (54 KB, 600x600) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
54 KB, 600x600
Embarrassing childhood stories I'll start!
>be 2006
>be curious horny 13 year old
>be a bit chubby
>go on google and search for free webcams
>find website
>sign in as guest
>nickname: horny13boy
>get tons of private cam invitations
>open cam to hairy ass neckbeard with huge dong
>tell him to jack off for me
>"you do it too ok?"
I was very innocent as a child.
>"okay but I have to confess that I haven't hit puberty yet"
>"It's okay buddy;)"
>I felt pretty confident so we both started jacking it
>he shoots sperm out of his dick and it's white as fuck. (normal now)
>I do too and it's clear
>He tells me to play with it and bring it close to cam
>As I do he gets hard again and jacks it to me eating my clear sperm
>be me (current time) a few nights ago on /b/
>see thread about childhood experiences
>mfw I remember this
>mfw I had completely forgotten about this
>mfw I jacked off a pedophile
>mfw it was probably one of you fuckers
File: 1397350525249.jpg (140 KB, 686x579) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
140 KB, 686x579
I'm still trying to add.
What is 2006 plus 13?
Fuck, that's not even right.
If we get some more people in the thread I have a few more equally disturbing stories
hes 21

OP is a massive faggot
i know the feeling its ok OP we love you
File: 1234239.jpg (20 KB, 225x225) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
20 KB, 225x225
This story made my fucking day, haha!
OP gayasfuck/10
>be me
>14 with qt13.4 gf
>lost all the baby weight
>puberty, good penis
>making out with gf in an abandoned building
>"I wanna try something femanon"
>"ok anon"
>I suck on her tongue thinking I'm rebellious and shit
>"I'm trying something too anon"
>we make out for a while
>she unzips my pants and goes in for the dong
>I back up
>"I don't think I'm comfortable with this femanon, I'm still 14 and young"
>mfw she gets on her knees
>mfw she forces me to not move by hugging me by the feet
>mfw she gives me a forced blowjob as I cry in an abandoned building
>mfw she lets me finish in her mouth and breaks up with me
im here dump it
rdy 2 read
gayer than OP/10
red leader reporting in

Captcha: quit asesseen
File: pobrane.jpg (9 KB, 275x183) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
9 KB, 275x183
oh shit it is OP
you outdid yourself there, son

Have you ever thought about that it was you from the future? You know, just like it happened to Captain Hero on Drawn Together.
spoiler alert: he is op
Can't decide whether it's more gay or more stupid of a thing.

In a parallel universe, this would make perfect sense.
File: dat thread.jpg (43 KB, 300x360) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
dat thread.jpg
43 KB, 300x360
File: Bogs.jpg (32 KB, 435x480) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
32 KB, 435x480
Dude, did you ever consider that you might be gay?

You did the world an amazing service, anon. You should feel proud.

Being 13-14 years old is the best time of your life. You are at peak sexiness and horniness (chubbiness aside). Its too bad that more teens don't share their amazing gift while they still can. Instead, they look at themselves as nothing special while everyone else around them gawks at their beauty.

Oh, what I wouldn't give to look down at my cock and see that creamy, smooth skin that I will never again be able to obtain. If I had known then what I know now, I never would have stopped just staring at my hairless perinium and pink little rosebud.
This shit isn't just made up, the fuck. You win thread so far
> be me about 7
> go to park next to school
> a bunch of kids there with parents
> parents all talking together
> wanna impress some girls by climbing on monkey bars
> not even close
> pants fall down halfway
> 7 year old weiner hanging out
> fall on my ass
> frantically pull pants up
> parents murmur
> kinda embarrassed
> girl says she didn't see what happened
> pull my pants down all the way
> say "this"
> dad's pulls me away and we go home
> we moved
besides playing footsie with my cousin for a year or two and being incredibly attracted to her I got nothing. nothing ever came off it, and she loved playing footsie so... no harm no fowl?
>Be me around 11 or 12
>Camping with my aunt, her husband and my 3 cousins with my family
>All the young'ens are hanging out in 1 cabin while the adults are hanging out in the other one.
>All scared as fuck, think there's a bear outside
>Really need to shit
>Outhouse is ~20 metres away in the dark
>11 year old brain gets idea
>Go up to loft window
>Open window, pulls pants around ankles
>Jump up, lean ass out of window
>Take poop
>Fuck me, nothing to wipe with
>Call for toilet paper
>All kids come up, see me shitting out of window
>Can't move
>Eventually get some tissue after what felt like eternity being laughed at
>Next day, shit stain down the entire side of cabin. Turd must have scraped against the side the whole way down
>Fucker cousin tells parents what happened
>Gets brought up at every family gathering
recent one
>be 20
>football team, frat, typical alpha shit
>been talking to 10/10 hottie
>redhead, skinny as shit, white, kinky
>Finally hook up and fuck till there's no tomorrow
>over the years I've developed commitment issues
>cuddling in bed
>"You know anon I'm glad we hooked up that was amazing"
>"Yea femanon I'm glad I stuck through long enough to give it a chance"
>kiss and go to bed
>wake up at 7 am
>commitment issues engage
>I wanna leave
>I've been talking to this girl for a month I don't want to though
>nope.jpg autism wins.
>as I sneak out she wakes up
>"where are you going"
>"Ummm I'm gonna go get us pancakes"
>mfw I never come back
>mfw she calls me 5 times that day
>mfw I turn off my phone for a week
I still haven't talked to her.
love that image

Just fyi, your oarents probably incured closing and moving costs of 10-20k because of your little fuckup.
The story i have isnt really greentext worthy but when i was in elementary school another dude tried to finger my butthole
>13-14 years old
>peak sexiness
u wot m8
hurrrr durrrr ima faggot. pussy faggot
File: u2.jpg (3 MB, 3470x1484) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
3 MB, 3470x1484
happened to me too, except it was under slightly different circumstances. I was looking for other boys my age right? I had just gotten my own laptop and everything and somehow I got the idea. Anyways, I find this guy and he is hot and cute and all, and we start jacking off together. I cum, he doesn't, I was just confused but I didn't' think anything of it. I later realized that I got played by some pedophile, playing me recorded tapes of other kids who also were caught. I bet he recorded me, that fucker. Anyways, I completely enjoyed it so win?
File: dissad.gif (570 KB, 350x198) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
570 KB, 350x198

Well, unless you were a chubby kid like OP.
>Call yourself alpha
>Be worse than a fedora wearing autistic kid

You were 20. But with that much class, you could be considered 13, indeed.
>be 9
>be horny as fuck
>neighbors dog always came over
>get idea
>neighbors dog on our front lawn, as usual
>lead dog to backyard
>I'll get her to lick my dick
>pull out dick
>present to dog
>dog repeatedly ignored dick
>need a way to get dog to lick
>get idea
>go inside to refridgerator
>get pepperoni
>go outside to dog
>put pepperoni on dick
>dog immediately bites dick
>dick bleeds a bit
>never again
File: Western laugh.gif (1 MB, 290x189) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Western laugh.gif
1 MB, 290x189
File: 1409835630490.jpg (107 KB, 894x894) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
107 KB, 894x894
File: oper8er.jpg (33 KB, 618x640) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
33 KB, 618x640
>> we moved
yea, finally got to use it
I could fap to this
File: tiredfox.jpg (47 KB, 495x480) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
47 KB, 495x480
Thanks m8
top kek
I knew I was a pedo since I was 14-15, and as my final moments towards the later stages of puberty approached, I felt incredibly sad and disgusted with myself. I started growing hair on my CHEST and my BELLY. WTF. I was so clean and smooth and looked for that in other young boys my age. Sadly, I had to say goodbye. there was nothing I could do. I cried.
use peanut butter retard
dogs love to lick that shit
File: 090414grtxt.png (149 KB, 1442x1372) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
149 KB, 1442x1372
dumping thread
Last one I can remember
>be 17
>high as fuck and drunk too
>9/10 qt comes by and we start flirting and dancing
>head back to her place
>fuck her lights out
>cum all over her breasts
>as I'm cumming light turns on
>her mom looking at me like I just murdered her kid
>"you fucking pedophile I'm calling the police!"
>qt looks at me and tells me she's 14 with a mature body
>I go to her mom as she's calling
>grab her phone and hang up
>tell her I'm 17
>pick up my shirt and leave as her mom is speechless
>the girl moved to an all girl catholic school
Didn't have any, and I fucking love pepperonis
>fuck till there's not tomorrow
you still going anon
we were always super flirty, I'm sure she was just as horny as I was at the time. she was constantly sitting on my lap, hugging, rubbing, putting her feet up to be rubbed, anything to be close. never dared cross the line though, fuck I wanted to so bad... still find her cute as fuck but no way it'd happen now... damn I miss being a teen
File: 14823291.png (313 KB, 666x666) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
313 KB, 666x666
thx op
oh thank you anon
File: pepperonis.png (359 KB, 438x478) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
359 KB, 438x478
I'm not kidding
Fucking pepperonis man
I'll eat that shit up all day

>calling yourself an alpha
>talking like a beta
>frat, football team

Get a load of this retard
No alpha walks the halls of /b/
But since you are in denial of your social status, may i suggest suicide? maybe u can put it on youtube for us to see it : ) please. seriously. i really want to see a suicide. its been a while.
I feel you
I grew older, my love interests never did
Just a reminder anon. Because you're a loser doesn't mean everyone around you is one. Please grow up and stop using your "I'm gonna put you down to feel better about my miserable self" strategy.
shut up fag
Good one frat star! Now go host a bbq and fuck some low self esteem freshman! Penis Delta Kappa til we die bro
>still not alpha
>still retarded
>typical alpha shit

do you know where you are at nigga?

"nobody on /b/ is happy"
"no alphas are on /b/"

How sad can you get? lmao.
People assume everyone here have no lives. I'm damn well a summerfag and I love it.
File: imblyign.png (48 KB, 500x500) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
48 KB, 500x500
Someone was a loner in college
File: image.jpg (2 MB, 3264x2448) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
2 MB, 3264x2448

y so mad
So, leading a life of quiet oppressed dispair now?
honestly I feel him. finally got a gf (I actually am a beta) and all I want to do is leave her. She's a fucking nympho and way out of my league but I just want to go back to being a piece of shit on 4chan all night.
Go to /r9k/ and say this exact same thing. I want to see what the robots have to say about this.
duh, what else would I be doing?

looking at the most borderline legal stuff i can get!
huehuehue just shut up already faggot
also, I am bi(mostly gay tho) so it makes it even worse
Here's my story

>Fifteen years ago, I was thirteen years old, Just got back from school. Usually no one is home for at least 3 more hours when I arrive.

> My cousin was home

>she was 20 years of age.

>She was staying with us for a couple of days
>She was sitting on the couch watching WWE Wrestling (Don't care!).
>sat down next to her and opened up my study packet.

>She pulls me over and hugs me from behind.
>I felt her chest pressed against my back
>her arms across my chest, holding onto my shoulders.
>She asked me how was my day at school.. >"Fine" would have been my usual response. >She teasingly asked me if I had a girlfriend and if I ever been with a girl.
>"no" would of been my usual response back then.
>She then proceeded to ask me if I like girls and how much I know..
>Of course these questions made me feel uneasy but I felt her cheek pressing up against mine.
>be me
>be 14, really good looking at the time
>parents divorced for 12 years, I lived with my mother
>dad has hot polish maid, 21 years old
>want to impress
>walk dog together
>I throw the ball to the dog
>shit throw
>ball lands in bush and the dog just looks at me
>spend 5 minutes looking for fail ball
>find it
>throw again
>dont throw ball anymore
>don't talk much all the way home for 40 minutes
>duh, what else would I be doing?
Well, I'm on the other side of the fence.It is awesome. But It would be even more awesome without having to operate in eternal stealth...

>also, I am bi(mostly gay tho) so it makes it even worse
Me too, but I view as an advantage: You have double as many potential lovers!
File: toplel.gif (1 MB, 200x182) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1 MB, 200x182
All my keks
the thing about being young is that, i can see this happening
wow man, she probably went to the next one too
>She asked me if I ever done anything with a girl
>She asked me if I was interested...
>"I don't know".
>I felt her kissing the side of my neck
>one of her hands made it's way to my thigh
>sliding ever so higher to my crotch with each caress.
>I was stunned at first, after a minute I slowly turned my head to face her,
>she placed her lips on mine.
>I was wearing shorts that day, and her hand went up the sleeve
>she started to caress my crotch, slowly rubbing it.
>Dick is hard
>she grabs and starts masturbaiting me
>Feels great
>Still kissing
>She pulls away and ask's
>"Keep it a secret"
>I nod
>She turns around and starts watching TV again
>Stare at her for a minute
>Go back to my study packet
>Never spoke of that day again
>Forever just cousins
> be me, 2006
> be curious horny 14 yo
> too stupid to lock the door
> 1st time surfing to multiple porn site
> father walk into the room
> close firefox but porn popups keep popping up
> got smack on the head
> forced to sit on the knees and ask for forgiveness from God
File: 20ztyc8_large.jpg (47 KB, 500x596) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
47 KB, 500x596
r u 4chan?

so what did god say?
File: crackie.jpg (37 KB, 604x453) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
37 KB, 604x453
stay on your knees while you suck my dick nigger

God was silent
but the Devil say "do it everyday"

I don't have a good one; but pic related made me chuckle.

I live in NC and I remember the Charlotte Hornet visiting my class so it made it a little more relatable to me.
File: 1409618723077.jpg (79 KB, 461x700) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
79 KB, 461x700
what the fuck
Lulz, I used to feel at home here, back when we could have long uninterupted discussions about our special interest, without being banned or flooded with moralfags and newfriends all the time
>those were the days...
disappointing as fuck
OP, this >>567931745
is the pedo you jacked off.
Kill yourself you fucking casual
> "this"
Fuck, lost it hard
yeah, like I just want to talk about it, man. but nah, mods be like "kill pedo" and some of 4chan be like "kill pedo", and the people that support us are just jokin around. Also, while being on 4chan, i feel like there is a huge population of closeted pedophiles that just don't know it yet. Like people here say they have these certain "fetishes", but in all reality, it is just ebophilia/pedophilia, and I argue that it is somewhat normal.
do you mind if I save it to my desktop?
ok I remember one now, but its more of a rage story
>Be a second grader
>already a fat loser
>boy and girl sitting across from me at lunch start flirting
>everyone knows they like each other and is tired of this shit
>what could go wrong if I sped things up?
>she goes to get something
>I have 2 dollars
>lunch is 3
>my parents gave me 5
>bet the faggot he wouldnt just go in for the kiss
>he asks for my two dollars if he does it
>what the fuck ever fine
>she comes back
>he throws her on the table and starts tongue fucking her
>shes kicking and screaming
>teachers are horrified
>the three of us were taken to the office to give our stories one at a time
>I was last
>told my story
>vice principal smirks this smug ass smirk
>she thinks shes some fucking super detective
>you slipped up, we were told you bet him five dollars - her
>wat - me
>you lose recess for the rest of the year for lying - her
>but I dont even have that much - me
>thats not a good argument - her
>I shouldnt need one against a rapist - me
>at least hes not a liar - her
>labeled as a sexual deviant on my permanent record with little context
>rapist kid never even got in trouble
>vice principal sees him as a victim
>literately labels him as my victim
>my highschool teachers all thought I was a gay rapist
>be 15 camping with family
>up on a rock looking at stars
>17yo cousin comes up to see what i'm doing and lays next to me
>i get a boner and she says oh...
>slides hand down my shorts and slowly strokes my cock
>feels good... i cum in less than a minute
>i get up, cum dripping down my leg
>omg i need to change
>mfw everyone notices
for sure
Sure i guess.. but im kind of relieved it stopped there. she met a nice guy two years later and made 2 nieces and a nephew
Holy shit anon
It appears to be a widespread interest! But noone wants to admit to it, and fair enough - it would be like committing social suicide.
Judging from all the terrible stories of traumas and injuries it's probably also for the best that it stays a taboo.
Personally I have been smart (and probably lucky) enough to get told on so far.

I call bullshit, made up within the past 2 minutes.
OP went from faggot to uberfag to Alpha as fuck when he was 17 and now back to a faggot again.
le sigh. I don't condone child abuse of any kind, but i mean come on m809, if these kids take nude selfies/cam of themselves, I don't know if it is the same as producing CHILD PORNOGRAPHY.
Well, the thing is I still am "alpha as fuck" if you look at the girls who I hook up with and who i've fucked over time. But the thing is, I've never been in a relationship longer than 1 year. I don't know why but I always feel the need to leave when things get serious. Any anon know what's wrong with me?
>no mfw

Lurk more newfriend.
>starts masturbaiting me
Look who it is again, ID Heaven. I'm fed up with your shit faggot. The other day when you called me a newfag, yeah, haven't forgotten about that yet. Fuck you I've been on here for months and probably get on here more than you anyways. Don't you know that you make yourself look like a newfag when you call others newfag? Just because you learned how to hack your name and change it to "Heaven" does not give you the right to disrespect anyone at any time.
I've never had a relationship longer than 2 months...
I don't condone of ANY abuse. But I have had multiple successful relationships with people who have since grown up and now lead happy and fruitful lives.
But it can't be done, they say.
lol chill.
You're a beta faggot who pretends to be alpha and fuck bitches. That's you're problem OP.
My problem is that it's me who runs away and breaks it up not them. I don't know about you anon.
You must feel happy about yourself
I was forced to beg forgiveness from god as well. Only difference is that I had spelled a website url incorrectly at the worst. fucking. time.
The fact you felt it necessary to explain how your "alpha as fuck" proves your beta as fuck.
Same issue of the whole relationship isn't fucked by then
I get extremely tired of a girl, her text, calls , voice will annoy me

And I was alone in most of my young teen years so I can't make a decision to stay on one bitch
I don't know if I support what you did, but I presume it is very, very possible for a consenting relationship like that. Then again, I would never try to do anything of the sort due to the extreme consequences that I would receive and the possibility of traumatizing a person. I would never be able to live that down. This again is why I say internet selfies/cam seems very very harmless. In general, if society removed the idea that it is taboo to do anything remotely consentingly sexual online with minors(like myself, yeah, still a minor but no ban pls), lives would be so much more fulfilled and satisfied. The way I look at internet content as such is that it is the same way I have a majority of the human population experimented sexually when we are younger. Only now, it is easier and safer to take place with less of a chance to be caught by parents. But, whatevs, idk. I kinda forgot the point i was trying to make but you might dig it out of all that.
>You must feel happy about yourself
Always do.
You and me both buddy, you and me both. I'm in France on vacation before school starts again. If you're in France or in San Diego let's go grab a beer man.
You probably just don't want to be the one getting dumped lol.. So you strike before they do.
>underage b&
Holy fuck anon... Thinking back to it right now, that's how I broke up with my first love. I heard she was gonna break up with me and I took the chance and did it before her.
>I was miserable kek
Very insightful anon. You got some sixth sense third eye shit there.
So you are beta faggot?
File: 1408439954546.jpg (17 KB, 268x200) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
17 KB, 268x200
Damn I'm a miracle worker
I honestly meant to say inb4 before that.
Not by societal standards no. I'm studying for a good degree at a reputable college and I'm fairly popular.
I don't know about the real world though. Outside my social bubble of greek life if I amount to anything. So, possible beta?
How can he stop you?
File: goebbels.png (2 MB, 1920x1080) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
2 MB, 1920x1080
Kill yourself.
Just being a polite motherfucker.
You fucking idiot.
How new are you guys?
I am not trying be a saint here. I'm just not the devil either.
Had I been a better human, I would probably have refrained from contact with my crushes or forced myself to concentrate on people my own age. But I had stuff going with this age group ever since I was that age myself, and I just never stopped.
After more than 25 years as active, if I get exposed now my life will be ruined anyway, so there is little point in stopping now.
And this, kids, is how a thread about embarrassing childhood moments turned into a pedo self-help group.

>anon still in denial

Once you let it get, you will be free. Enjoy the pain.
>be 15-16
>already found dads porn stash
>nobody at home
>put rocco dvd in player
>forget to put it back
>3 hours later
>dad comes in room
>"When you already use my stuff, put it back where it belongs"
>walks out the room
>never talked about it again
I would've gone columbine up in that shit
lol something somewhat similar happened to me

>Be me
>Be 15
>Be ugly
>Have gf for the first time
>Gf parents are gone, so she invites me to come over and watch harry potter (i was 15, fuckers)
>At some point, we beging to make out
>We are sitting on the couch, gf lays on the floor and practically push me to do the same
>We make out on the floor
>She takes my hand and put it on her boob
>Im a faggot, so i take it off
>She does it again, i take it off again
>Stops trying, so she just rubs my jeans, where my dick is
>I kind of get what she wants now
>Begin to finger her
>Do it for like 15 minutes or so
>Suddenly, she stands up and says "where did i leave those condoms?"
>Get nervous as fuck
>She leaves, 3 minutes later she brings 2 condoms
>She hands me the condoms and lays on bed
>(mom is christian, so she always says it is a sin to have sex before marriage and shit)
>I say "i think we shouldnt do this"
>She looks at me and only says "whatever"
>Stays naked for a while
>Then she just wears her jeans back
>Asks me to leave since her parents might get home soon
File: vincenigga.gif (4 MB, 298x150) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
4 MB, 298x150
>mfw I'm 18
>mfw this is me exactly
>mfw will I be like this
>be 9-10
>hanging with girl cousin
>play pretend
>i'm the wife, she's the husband
>talk about what we need to do
>remember seeing a softcore porn late one night flipping through channels
>it was mostly static, but could make out bodies what they were doing
>suggest what i saw to her
>go to a big closet where no one would see
>lay down
>she gets on top
>grinding, peck kisses
>feels good for both of us
>stop doing everything
>go back to playing pretend like nothing happened
>start reenacting that scene once a week
>goes on for 2-3 months
>get caught by my aunt
>pretend we were wrestling
>pretty sure she bought it
>stop pretending for a long time
>visit her house, she asks to play one more time
>play around on bed
>felt awesome
>aunt comes in, jerks us up, gets out a belt and beats our ass
>never spoke about it again
>she tells my mom
>awkward tension between everyone
>not allowed to go back to her house for a long time
>have only seen cousin less than 10 times over 15 year span
>pretty sure that's why

somehow i also got it into my head later on that masturbation would cause a girl to get pregnant. one time i did it (11 yr), saw blood, and thought i was having a baby. instead, after freaking out to my mom and dad causing a scene on new year's eve around other family members, she had me realize i was only starting my period after handing me a pad and welcoming me to being a woman. i wasn't very bright during those years.

Don't worry OP, I did the same when I was your age. Not proud of it, but no regrets either.
Idk faggot I just turned 19 yesterday
Oh fuck excuse me, I had read "will I end up like you" my apologies anon
All good man. Its just weird, my first gf we were doing just fine but then after a month and a half of like everyday talking on phone or fb etc i was like
"fuck this shit nigger, bitch be distracting me from muh vidya games" and just cut it off
took me a while to realise that you're a femanon
>be 15
>have tickle wars with sister and cousin (male cousin) im female
>get pinned down on bed in dark room
>nothing happens
>write a fantasy about what could have happened on my itouch
>leave my itouch w/o a password one day
>sister reads the story
>i run down just in time for her to look up at me horrified
>we both know
>never speak about it
>it sucks cause she never talks to me and its been 7 years
what would be the point, now?
She's all growed up and.... well, growed up.
Girls are just too fucking clingy most of the time
I had a gf for like a month (wasn't meant to be long term anyway but I ended it real fast), milf , huge bubble butt, looooved to suck cock and receive cum, all around total nympho

Bitch wanted to start taking me to church, cutting into my chilling with the bros time, and she got super fucking pissed when he found put how many female friends I have

Too much problems could attatch itself to a gf
oh shit that's rough
have you tried to smooth it over?
Gfs are overrated. I don't get all the baww threads in /b/ about not having a gf. Us dudes with gfs just want out.
that rule only applies to attention whores
obviously 13-14 is peak sexiness only for boys
those of us who like girls know peak sexiness is 10-12
lost my shit
>be arounnd 5-6 years old
>playing around with my aunt of 14 years
>she tells me that she's Simba and I'm Nala
>play around a bit, roar and shit
>she tells me that Simba & Nala are married and so we need to kiss
>make out with my aunt
>she says that Simba&Nala love each other very much and
>starts touching my body

>mfw when i realize many years later that this was wrong on so many levels
Unfortunately I do understand them
There was this one girl I went out with, I felt legitimately in love and she broke my fucking heart after a month and a half

What do I do? Stay as her friend for 4 years watching her get stares and compliments from other dudes and gradually becoming more of a used up slut

I don't "love" anymore, fuck that I'd rather bust a but to a dtf slut
what am i supposed to say?
i have high hopes she repressed it, but shes a virgin, christian fag. never really liked me to begin with. and now she thinks im into incest.
even if i were to bring it up now and try to explain it was a creative outlet for the only semi- sexual experience i have, she experienced the same occurrence and ddint write a sensual story about it.. so im still the fucked up one.
god when i think about the last sentence of the story it went "and any time im lying in bed i think back to..."
so filthy.
i also wonder if shes discussed that with family members or her friends

Good fucking god man
> 2006
> Be spoiled as fuck 13 year old
>Always get two lunches like a boss
> Usually just use it as an excuse to get more cups of peppers that they had at the salad bar
> Parents divorce, devastated as fuck
> Have to go on free-reduced lunch program
> Okay with it just get one lunch a day
> One day have a brain fart and try to get a second
> Dumbass cashier haphazardly and loudly reminds me that I'm now poor as fuck, in front of several other students
> Go back to table with friends
> The sheer embarrassment on top of yet another reminder of my parents' divorce ended up making me cry like a bitch nigga
> Friends understand and console me
> Fucking asstarded lunch lady thinks I'm crying because I'm hungry like some retard
> Unstealthily brings me a fucking cheese sandwich in the middle of the whole cafeteria
> Only worsens my embarrassment

> From then on I was bullied like mad, one guy even slammed my face straight into a table, almost broke my nose
> All because some lunch lady getting paid $7 an hour couldn't bother to have some fucking tact
man that sucks, I suppose you've done all you can
File: 1409461281877.png (63 KB, 367x202) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
63 KB, 367x202
>be me
>be 8
>sister is 6
>mess with her all the time, chuck legos at her, fruit at her idgaf I'm 8
>one day watch life of brian and decide dicks are funny
>put on 10 pairs of underwear, go into my sister's room
>strip them off one by one, eventually there's a surprise at the end
>surprise: it's my dick, we both laugh our asses off
>repeat multiple times over the course of a year, still fucking hilarious
>stop after that because the joke got old
>repress memory until browsing wincest threads on /b/, have an "oh shit" moment
>realize I've lived a dream I never wanted to
>tfw no I'm paranoid my sister is hitting on me because of all sorts of weird behavior, can't help but wonder if it's related to that kid shit
File: 1395214877328.jpg (70 KB, 399x382) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
70 KB, 399x382
im thinking about acting all bravado and just msging her on fb saying, "hey its pretty douchey you havent been hitting me up like you do the rest of the family." then wait for her to say "yeah cause youre fucked up" and me never attend holidays again oooor her to not have the balls and have to talk to me til she realizes 15 yr old anon isnt the same weirdo

well, im still a weirdo, but im super good at concealing it now
she never even touched it. thats not wincest, thats normal
File: 1404213063004.jpg (92 KB, 741x800) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
92 KB, 741x800
thank fucking christ
i swear to god she's hitting on my nowadays though, shit's scary. at least i know it's not my fault from some oldass childhood shit
yeah. it might be good to end it whether for good or worse
> be 13
> new school, dont know anyone
> school ends, girl waves at me
> smile and wave back
> she looks weird at me and laughs
> was waving at someone behind me
> pretend i was waving at someone behind her
> there's nothing behind her
> get on my bus and pretend it never happened
fuck man.
All girls are dtf if you know how to handle your shit. Girls are made for fucking man. Never treat a girl good
I was about 13
This one time my mom walked in on me jerking it while wearing her panties.
They were read and lacy.
I had panty hoes on as well as a maxipad.
It used to turn me on so much for some reason.
If it isn't green text you wasted your time. Nobody will read it like that
i got one
>be 20
>work with 8/10 cute blonde at restaurant
>been friends for a while
>always chill at work togeather
>one day i decided to visit her
>she thinks its nice that i come visit
>she hugs me
>2 seconds later...
>still hugging
>dont know what to do now
>decide to get her in a head lock
>"anon please let me go"
>"please anon, i cant breath"
>"oh sorry"
>i let go and apologise
>"pretty hardcore hug ey?"
>"sure, whatever you say anon"
>i walk away

didnt really talk to her much that week after that

*THIS*. This is a credible story. Unlike all of your "consensual pedosexuality" bullshit.
File: images (2).jpg (7 KB, 225x225) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
images (2).jpg
7 KB, 225x225
damn son that bitch is heaps hotter in 2010
lmao I'm listening to Dre and Dogg right now. The next eipsode.
Ahah you sound like a caveman. I just hope you believe that only because you're on 4chan and you have to appear brave and misogenist to your friends on here.
Anyway, I was in your situation. I used to have relationships lasting 2 to 5 months. Then all of a sudden I sterted hating those girls, and wanted to break up with them. Which I did, in very evil ways. After a while I found a girl with whom I felt in love almost instantaneously, and so did she. We are still together after years and years. My point is, you still haven't found the right girl OP. The one who will make you change, regardelss of how strong you feel about yourself. I hope you can find one.
>be 18
>good looking, but not aware--low self esteem
>go to Michigan with a friend
>his family owns a cottage associated with a church camp
>hanging out in the snack bar, keep making eye contact with cute girl
>go outside to shoot some hoops
>cutie and her friends come out, go to other end of rec area
>twilight, can just barely make out silhouettes
>"how old are you?"
>friend answers, "18"
>"not you," she says, "the cute one!"
>mfw I'm the cute one
>inb4 I have no face
>says she's 16
>we talk a little and agree to meet the next day
>friend thinks I'm nuts, goes into town to drink and shit
>meet cutie the next day, walk on the beach holding hands
>sit in the sand and start kissing
>go for the tit, and she stops me
>"sorr.." I start to say
>"no it's cool, I just don't want my sister to see."
>she suggests we go back to her room--at the church camp, remember
>scared, being 18
>she goes up, I'm trying to get up the courage to go in
>knowing that there are adults in the main room
>her little sister comes along with a couple friends
>tells me she's not 16, she's 13
>tells me if I still want to go up, she'll create a diversion
>I go up
>kelly is in bed under a sheet, which clings to her naked form underneath
>oh, her name was Kelly.
>came into this room a virgin.
>Oh my holy shitting mother fucking god, her body is amazing!!!
>she's really tan except for her small bikini zones.
>tits are the perkiest lemons you can imagine
>she has a six pack, rock hard round ass, lean legs
>after a whole mess of kissing and licking and sucking and whatnot
>(she tasted like fucking HEAVEN I shit you not)
>slide into the tightest pussy you can imagine.
>her knees at ear level, I am plowing that almost hairless pussy
>she's trying not to moan too loudly
>I slow down, staring into her eyes
>slower, slower, she's getting desperate, she wants it hard
>mmmm hmmm? she moans, screwing up at me
>"How old are you really?"
>her eyes go wide, then she looks guilty
I'mma ignore you calling me a caveman cuz I'm way too tired to type shit.
I hope I find that girl soon anon. I'm sick of meaningless hookups. I can't stop though because of being part of a frat and shit, I got rep to keep.
>go full throttle, harder than ever, pounding that pussy relentlessly
>she puts her stuffed monkey over her mouth, trying to stifle her moans
>finish, leave her a sweaty quivering mess on the bed
>outside the door, her sister and friends are hanging out, red-faced and panting
>her sister: "fucking perve"
>"you knew she was 13"
>"yes I did, thanks"
>be in marching band
>nerd galore
>I drink like a liter of cola before half time cause fat fuck
>literally piss myself
>had to go throw old uniform away and sneak back into band room to change
>feel retarded even though no one knew
> be 11
> discovered porn and fapping
> do it all the time because no friends
> for some reason come up with the brilliant idea to cut fingers off rubber gloves to use as condoms
> sitting in my closet fapping away
> suddenly door flies open
> it's my mother
> she gets full view of me sitting in my closet masturbating violently with a glove finger over my dick
> she turns around and walks out.

and it was never spoken of again.
okay, that's funny as hell
Man that's pretty weird to brag about, are you gay?
> lol u r gay
The caveman thing was to be intended litterally. I sure hope you don't believe girls are made for fucking, that would be really low and quite the negation of evolution.
I don't know how frats work in the US, but if they really are a restraint leave it. Or wait until you graduate. Either way, you're still very young, you will miss your days, trust me, so don't think about the future right now. Enjoy the moments and only if your behaviour makes you feel bad, change it. Eventually you will find a solution, it's a matter of time.
File: 1410100029006.png (94 KB, 192x187) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
94 KB, 192x187
oh MAN
File: image.jpg (25 KB, 320x374) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
25 KB, 320x374

>need job
>desperate as fuck
>whataburger is hiring nigga
>going to interview on bus
>fart on bus
>wasn't just a fart
>have to sneak into the rest room before interview and throw away sharty draws
treat a whore like a princess
and a princess like a whore
I think you might have some sort of medical problem bro.
>Be a young boy about 7 and female cousin about 6
>At a Christmas dinner with family
>We're hiding behind a couch in the living room "kissing" and stuff
>My mum keeps coming over and checking on us
>Tell her some bullshit story about how we're imagining the ant outside the window are a civilization looking in on us
>Cousin pulls aside underwear to show me vag
>Grandfather looks over the couch and is enraged
>She tries to cover herself with curtain
>My parents say they need to duck home to get an esky
>Get told by my mum that it's not okay to look at my cousins Pvt. Parts
"I just want to go to sleep"
"No, we have to go back to the party now"
>Act like it never happened for the rest of my life
I do believe that's how girls are supposed to be treated. I'm not pretending or anything that is genuinely how I believe they should be treated.
fucking newfag whiteknights go back to leddit and tumblr.
Also, I can't leave my frat. They're my brothers and have been with me through thick and thin.
>be 16
>at family friends place
>my sisters 10 and 11
>my friend 15
>my friends sister 13
>play murder in the dark
>lights off in room
>parents ok with it because what could happen with everyone there?
>grab pillow put it between me and my friends sister
>hump her with the pillow
>be sneaky fucker and make sure i'm not near her when lights come on
>do this for hours every friday night for weeks
>found her on facebook now 10 years later
>she's a total slut with a messed up life

i'd try hook up with her but she currently has a trashbag bf who beats her
same with me. holy crap, those are delicious.
File: image.jpg (5 KB, 120x109) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
5 KB, 120x109
>be edgy pre puberty
>steal gondoms with fat neighbor kid cause reasons
>masturbate all the time in the gondoms
>throw the gondoms in the bottom cabinet in my bathroom
>happens for months
>fast forward
>spring cleaning
>dad cleaning out bathroom cabinet
>my heart sinks because treasure trove of used nut condoms has grown
>dad only says lamb skin aren't good condoms
Guess you're the dumbass then
>The caveman thing was to be intended litterally [sic]
Don't believe every car insurance commercial you see,
there aren't any literal cavemen anymore

Its really difficult in this day and age sometimes to tell the difference between a 13 year old (which is taboo to have) and say a 16, 17 year old

I remember when I was like 13 how many girls would brag about their 18+ boyfriends and they always lied about their age. Girls are maturing (physically) a lot faster today and the lines are blurred, risky business there anon but I fuck with it
Ummmm no. You need your eyes checked. Unless your a whale, then your eyes are fine!
>Be me around 15 years old
>Need to shit so badly but still in game playing dota
>Finish game asap
>Cold sweat and goosebumps
>Go inside school to look for CR
>Found shower room but no toilets only urinals
>Unloads godly watery shit in shower
>Shower curtain too short so when I'm on the shitting position I'm exposed
>Hears incoming footsteps and guy said "wtf, smells like shit in here"
>Pulled pants up w/o wiping and ran outside with face covered by bag leaving turd tracks
>Found nearby gas station and continue business in CR
>Guy knocks and say "you alright in there buddy"
>I say I'm fine but I need new pants and tissue or water (no fucking water in CR)
>Guy say "yeah? What do I get in return?"
>I said let's talk about it later and I hand him the money with hints of shit (I keep my wallet at the back pocket)
>While waiting I decided that I'll quit fucking dota
>Guy knocks and brought a pale of water and new pants and as I open the door he came inside
>He's like 6'4" and with fucking beard and tats so I was scared as fuck
>Guy said "in return, let me watch you wash yourself"
>I was like fuck no but he said he's gonna beat the shit out of me (no pun intended) and take pictures of me and spread it
>I wash myself
>He said I won't get rid of the smell if I don't take my pants off
>I pull my pants down and wash myself while he's watching
>I put the new pants and say "uhh, thanks?" To the guy
>Guy says "no prob bro"
>Calmly go outside and saw guy cleaning the mess I made inside the CR
>Hailed a cab then went home
Then stay an uncultured, vile, pathetic excuse of a human being. What you call whiteknighting is just being a respectful person. You, on the other hand, with such an agressive attitude reveal some serious issues. Whatever makes you happy, but I'm pretty sure hating on others won't make you happy. I'm glad there are inferior people like you who make me value my life more. Thanks, now go prepare to end your life aloneò
>be 10
>family at grandma's house, boring shit
>ask to go outside and play
>walk down street to baseball field, nobody there
>run around like a fag entertaining myself, see something on ground
>child curiosity takes over, pick it up
>used condom
>fucking cry because I think I get AIDS from touching a used condom
>run back to grandma's
>tell mom secretly what happened and I got AIDS
>mom laughs
>tells all the adults at the table
>fuck me
tbh tho, believing she was 16 was a stretch
especially once you got her clothes off, that INCREDIBLE body could only be on a 13 year old
Haven't had a girl nearly as hot
>"I-I didn't see what happened"
>pull my pants down all the way
> say "this"
mfw the story's made up and ur the hairy ass neckbeard pedo
>on 4chan
>being a respectful person.
I said this once and I'll say it twice.
>obvious femanon
File: image.jpg (9 KB, 125x105) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
9 KB, 125x105
>>mfw it was probably one of you fuckers
Ey wtf back off that's the /b/ro you're talking about here. Idk how old your faggot ass may be but if you didn't notice this younger generation is a different breed
So if you don't agree fuck off and cry about it to your bitch whos probably had more cock than a farmer owns

>hack your name
are you really that fucking stupid?
File: image.jpg (116 KB, 620x667) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
116 KB, 620x667
>have extreme bed wetting problem
>mom send me and brother to church camp
>I have to secretly wear pull ups for two weeks at this camp
>week and a half in
>been being really ninja about throwing these diapers away
>one morning I know for sure I pissed a heaping amount into the pull up
>put it under my shirt
>go to throw it away
>the adult on duty asks me about it
>pulls me aside with all the other adults
>proceeds to grill me about this shit
>if u has an accident anon just say something and we can help clean it up

I know they wanted to help
But fuck it was embarrassing to have everyone know I was a bed wetter
You made her admit that at the perfect time
She'll never have sex like that again
Kudos anon
high test alpha male detected
File: cod.jpg (91 KB, 409x552) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
91 KB, 409x552
to be fair, it sounds like your mother wasn't all that accommodating to you developing sexually. Growing up Christian did the same to me, since my parents were all reserved about sex.

not really related, but a story nonetheless:
>be me
>be 12 or 13
>join the boyscouts since white and middle class child
>troop leader is uber catholic, since white middle class rural citizen, therefore all of the troop must be uber catholic
>never, ever talk about sex.
>get handed scouts handbook
>reading while pooping, get to section on sexual abuse
>read it avidly since its the only source of information I had
>somehow become convinced that I was sexually abusing myself by masturbating
>spend 2 -3 long years feeling guilty since the book says to report sexual abuse to an adult you trust
>mentally wrestled with how good pleasuring myself was to the consequences of not telling someone that I was sexually abusing myself
>never speak of masturbating to even my closest friends for many years growing up
>mrw figuring it all out

I can't imagine what the conversation would've been like should I have told someone about all the 'abuse'
So did you turn Lesbian!?
File: image.jpg (16 KB, 247x247) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
16 KB, 247x247
>mom is a pediatrician
>has doctor friends
>get a problem with my downstairs
>been wanking hard and got a rash and some ingrown hairs
>tell my mom my shit itches bad
>mom sets appointment with doctor friend
>get into the appointment room
>moms doctor friend walks in
>loud enough for the nurses station to hear everything he says
are YOU really that fucking new?
That's funny
>Being moved by this
Are you really this fucking new?
>being born.

Things went downhill from there.
Respecting others it's the key to be happy.

I didn't know people were serious in this shithole.
File: image.jpg (151 KB, 396x1076) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
151 KB, 396x1076
hey, you're 25 now, it's all in the past. Look her up and see if she wants to relive fond memories.
Whats a summerfag?
File: Weidman_Vs_Silva.webm (3 MB, 1280x720) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
>Be Lil me
>4 years old
>go to parents room
>looking for candy
>find condom
>eat condom
>throw up
>go to emergency room
>from then on my sister calls me "little trojan"
>mfw I realized when I got older
>I am become his leg
um, no, dude, I'm not the other dude, see my ID?
File: 2spoopy.gif (2 MB, 300x176) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
2 MB, 300x176
>respecting others
>starts by calling me caveman
File: leave3.jpg (77 KB, 402x335) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
77 KB, 402x335
>not knowing how to differentiate ID's
File: image.jpg (114 KB, 615x636) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
114 KB, 615x636
>be 15 or 16
>have a computer class
>was fat greasy fuck
>sitting next to hot Latina girl lizette
>lizette is nice to me , has a bf , always talks to me throughout class
>one day eat like a fat fuck at lunch
>go to class
>lizette and I talking
>get back to my work
>gut is rumbling
>fart silently
>but deadly
>I even think it stinks something horrid
>I literally cannot to this day come up with how lizette was still sitting there without calling me out for basically shitting right there next to her
You are correct, I'm an awful individual and should hence be punished. I will eat veg food today, and will play my guitar procrastinating the day in which I will have to take my life seriously.
>>aunt comes in, jerks us up, gets out a belt and beats our ass

Did she take your pants down?
File: image.jpg (19 KB, 328x277) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
19 KB, 328x277
Why are you so concerned about new friends new friend ?
File: 1408153681613.jpg (9 KB, 235x224) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
9 KB, 235x224
Hahahahahahah best sentence story m9
Fucking 10/10
>be teenager
>do things in my sleep without realising it
>not awake, but can remember doing them afterwards
>walking around and shit
>after school
>having a wank + nap
>cum all over myself
>fall asleep

>mom walks into room
>i'm standing in the middle of the room naked and coverd in cum
>she asks me what I want for dinner
>I ask for fish
>she goes to the fish shop
>I wake up at some point
>have fish for dinner.
>never speak of it again.
Fucking kek
>tried on mom's n sister's panties and hose a couple times
>never jerked off in them.
>Tried out the pads, but was at a loss as to how to get the full experience
>since I couldn't bleed without hurting myself.
>Stroke of genius, I pissed the pad full
>then not knowing what to do with it, I hid it in the space behind the toilet
>with the cabinet and the trash can there, nobody would see it.
>Well, sister found it not much later when it started to reek.
>mom was understanding, sister not so much.

Still, I think it was for the best, sister got some practice at accepting her bro was a perv.
So years later when I was very publicly outed as a hebephilic peeping tom, she was able to still love and support me.
So, pissing in her pad was a good thing.
I knew a girl at school that looked like Nala. Not completely because she wore a white polo shirt and bra with teddy bears, which Nala doesn't. Got some upskirt peeks at her panties too.
Newfag detected
Confirmed for femanon.
No conversational skills. Contradictory sentences. Are you stupid? You said we need to respect each other and when I proved you for a hypocrite you got all defensive and sarcastic.
An hero pls SJW
>be 16
>invited as plus one to high school party
>socially awkward
>keep drinking
>black out
>wake up in bathroom, head in toilet bowl
>hear people banging on the door yelling to hurry up and get out
>vomit all over myself/floor/door/wall
>climb out window
>stumble to my friends house
>pass out on their front lawn

had to deal with the aftermath at school the following week, apparently i'd locked myself in the only toilet for 4 hours after ordering 10 pizzas that everyone had to pay for
File: 1409859210362s.jpg (3 KB, 125x125) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
3 KB, 125x125
Asking for it
Walk away and remember the good times, but do not forget the reality.
cool story
The key to happiness is drugs, sex, self motivation faggot
If you're not doing what needs to be done to satisfy your ego whatever that may be then you're not gonna be happy
So if I want to unashamedly fuck some girl, then move on to her sister for keks I'm going to do it. If I ever come into a situation where I have to take a life I'm gonna do it. If I can't life fast anymore because I'm a paraplegic or someshit I'll an hero because that's what'll make me happy
> be 3
> have handicapped 8 y/o older brother
> soon as I can talk and walk brag to family I'm older brother
> family laughs, tells me I'm younger
> idgaf I'm 3, potty trained and he's in diapers, can't talk, can't walk, can't feed himself
> Spend lots of time alone with handicapped older brother
> Start putting on his diapers and playing with him
> feelsgoodman.jpeg become ab/dl
> mfw older brother dies horrible death in front of me
> be 8-12
> have younger brother 3-8
> teach him to hump diapers/pullups
> Mother forces family to join Mormon Church
> Stop humping diapers with younger brother and pretend it never happened
> Mother has daughter, now have younger sister
> old enough to help out and change diapers
> shit sucks
> remember I like diapers, steal lots and hump them in private
> Sister is 5-6, I'm 12-13
> Caught by sister humping diaper
> Told by her she's gonna tell mom unless I put her in one
> does what she says
> Never talk about it ever again
> Years later chatting with brother on fb, he asks about why we were humping diapers together years ago
> ohshit.jpeh
> ramble psychobabble bullshit about how neither of us really knew what we were doing and how it was okay since we didn't touch each other
> hope sister doesn't remember this shit too
File: image.jpg (118 KB, 532x776) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
118 KB, 532x776
>what is peanut butter
I was 9 and my herion addict mom made me stand in the bathroom as she picked at her face nakied for what seemed like hours. head was slumping because i was tired, She turned to look at me and claimed i was staring at her tits and i was disgusting.. made me pull down my pants while she made fun of my penis and kept asking me how i liked it...
So you're THAT hilarious dude at parties?
Man I love you guys. Y'all make going to parties worthwhile.
cool stary bra
>Orders 10 pizzas
>Makes others pay for it.

I'm not a wed better and I lived with my ex for 2 years and shared the same bed.

we lasted 5 years..

anyways she moved out and i still visited her at her home trying to work things out..

I'm about 23-24 at that time and i was sleeping over one night when I drank too much water and wine or liquor, who knows, next day i had wet her bed. She wanted to get mad but she knew I wasn't a wed better, just one of those rare things that happen once every 10 or 20 years.
hadn't you heard?
'kill yourself' and the more colorful/moronic 'an hero'
are on the list of discontinued memes.
It has been determined that they are excessively lame
and are not to be used anymore
>be me
>4 year old fag
>have sister
>sister constantly has sleepovers or goes to friends houses for sleepovers.
>sister decide to have sleepover at our house
>its her birthday
>tons of girls
>me being curious
>decides to sneak on them
>supposed to be sleeping with dad
>my dad forced me to sleep with him so I wouldnt bother them.
>sister catches me
>''come on in, anon!''
>I walk in
>Friend of sister ask ''is he a boy or a girl?''
>Sister: ''he's a boy obviously! He's my brother''
>Me: ''I'll show you that I'm a boy''
>pulls out penis
>pisses all over the place
>the walls, sisters boy band posters soaked with my juice
>sisters friends wet
>sisters strawberry shortcake blanket wet
>they're all fucking screaming
>dad wakes up
>i get scared
>runs in
>chokes me
>beats me in front of sisters friends while they continue to scream.
>''oh my god!'' one is yelling while crying
>friends clean up including sister
>sister never had another sleepover at our house.
What is wrong wyd?
Just imagine what would be going through those girls' heads. One minute, they're having a fun sleepover. The next, a kid pisses all over them and then a full-grown man beats the snot out of said child.
Reminds me. Commitnment issues too, 20 y, not so alpha thought and havemt got laid in 2 years
it's ok /b/ruh, find a good therapist
otherwise, well... chances are you'll be a serial killer
boo boo you suck boo
File: MzUz0vb.jpg (76 KB, 700x701) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
76 KB, 700x701
>it was probably one of you fuckers
>probably one of you fuckers
Idk if you're being serious here...
If you are then you are obviously a newfag. An hero is what /b/ is built upon. It is the foundation of /b/.
>be me
>5 years old
>loves to do stupid shit, causing mischief.
>have abusive preschool teacher
>one time choked me for bringing gum into class
Next day:
>tell my sister to pack my little baseball bat
>gonna use it to hit teacher and break everything I see in classroom
>driving to school
>Walk into class
>''sit your ass down, anon!''
>Me: ''not until you say hello to my little friend!''
>brings out bat
>''Wait, what the fuck?''
>see tiny little fisher price plastic toy bat
>Teacher: ''Haha! Look at his little friend, class!''
>class laughs at me
>face red
>begged my mom to switch schools
>mom wont let me
>have to deal with embarrassing moment for the rest of the school year.
yeah, too bad too, if you hadn't done that, you'd've been telling a whoooole other kind of story. Much more titillating one, too.
Been in and out of mental hospitals whole adult life.
obviously you're a newerfag than I am if you believe that shit
>be me
>10 years old
>sister loves to have sleepovers, but you already know obviously
>''anon, when im gone, you can sleep in my bed tonight''
>why not?
>Night time
>AKA ''time for bed''
>parents let me stay up and watch tv and get on sisters laptop as long as I dont leave the room unless emergency
>on laptop
>tv on adult swim, thought I was the coolest son of a bitch when I was yong
>go through sisters shit.
>finds lot of clothes
>decides to try them on
>uses nail polish
>and lipstick
>finds vibrator
>have no idea what the fuck it is
>turn on
>thinks it some toy rocketship or some shit.
>decides to stick it in mouth for whatever reason
>then decides to put on a cowboy hat and boots
>mom walks in
>awkward silence other than the buzzing vibrator and the tv
>Vibrator slowly falls out my mouth and onto the ground
>have no idea why my moms face is so red
>I say''you're my favorite deputy!'' looking her straight in the fucking eyes.
>dad walks in
>Parents think I want to be a transgender fag
>brought it up the other day
>dad walks up to me and says ''I know i was hard on you but I just want you to know I support your decision on wanting be transgender. Here, have a vibrator!''
>hands me vibrator
>remembers that one night
>I blush hard, am embarrassed.
>move out
>never spoke to dad or mom since.
I actually did piss the bed this year sleeping in bed with my ex
I was drinking heavy before bed with her
We fucked
Laid down naked , remember dreaming about pissing in the toilet
Wake up to piss puddle and gf mad as fuck

Hope I don't piss myself tonight cause of repressed shit
nothing wrong with that,
that's the place to be with a mom like that
keep you outta trouble.

>be me
>going to friends house to spend night
>going to stay up to watch some badass stuff.
>Watching HBO
>Friend's elbow hits remote, turns channel
>Playboy channel
>we stay and watch it
>suddenly we get our first erection
>sees porn star gargling cum with a white dildo in her ass
>us being fucking retards thinks it is milk and a string cheese
>decided to go to kitchen with friend
>take milk out
>spread my butt cheeks
>friends turn into shrek
okay, back to the real story:
>Spread ass cheeks
>Friend pours milk in my asshole
>closes butt with string cheese
>his mom walks in the kitchen
>My asshole is about to burst.
>string cheese shoots out and hits his mom in the face followed by milk being squirted at her face.
>my butt is literally a fucking water gun
>friends mom tells my mom
>not allowed to speak to him unless at school
still cringe at it.
Newfag? I've been here since '03... if I believe that shit? How new are you you fucking SJW idiot? You weren't here when anons used to go on tinychat and cut themselves or when an anon burned his house down while we watched. GTFO newfag. Go back to leddit
That's a cool dad, not really embarrassing
that last bit sounds made up.
you left out important details though
how old was your sister at the time
and how did she taste?
This I actually feel sympathy for
File: image.jpg (164 KB, 710x1024) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
164 KB, 710x1024
>be me
>wanking addiction has intensified beyond reasonable proportions
>wanking like 3 + times a day
>into socks , sheets , towels , et cetera
>one day I use the shower head to masturbate
>the water jets feel god like on my butthole
>start exploring my anus
>start sticking the ends of things in anal hole
>toothbrush , plunger , drum stick
>never tell anyone
Except you /b/

Only you know
Take it to your grave
File: BAHAHA.jpg (48 KB, 500x375) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
48 KB, 500x375
Oh God, you are such a massive faggot...
Like pineapple honestly.
and she was 13 years old
File: simpsons_gay_porn.jpg (61 KB, 650x465) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
61 KB, 650x465
Oh god.

>Be a boss as fuck five-year-old
>Love school
>Always sit next to this gurl Rosina on the mat
>Finally, her mum brings her round to my house
>Put her in my bed.
>Take off her pants and undies.
>Retrieve the cardboard roll thingee from one of mum's tampons out of the bin.
>Shove it up Rosina's pussy. Hard. Full arm force, with palm.
>She falls asleep with this cardboard cyclinder sticking up out of her vag.
>Proudly pull the covers off and show my mum.

Unsure if she ever came over again.
God. 7/10 would think about in shower endlessly
File: dick.png (247 KB, 404x532) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
247 KB, 404x532
>be 16
>friends convince me to go clubbing
>i was a redneck-ish punk at the time so i didn't really want to go
>friends said i'll drown in pussy
>fuckit lets go
>we got drunk before going inside because it's fucking expensive to get a drink in there
>meet some creepy guy inside who happen's to know my friend
>he rolls a joint, we smoke it
>we go inside start dancing
>music isn't even that bad
>after a few minutes girl approaches me
>dance and grope ensues
>we start to make out
>feel a bit dizzy but still imokaywiththis
>hand goes in panty, whoa there's a lot of sauce here
>she hugs my neck
>And that's when i realized i have made a terrible mistake
>her armpit released the unholy stench of three days without showering.
>take a few steps back, with confusion and disappointment on my face
>look at hand
>smell it
>gag intensifies
>fall on knees and start vomiting
>everyone is looking at me now
>after i carefully placed back my intestines inside i look around
>girl is gone
>everyone is looking at me in disgust while i sit in a big fucking puddle of vomit.
Clubbing....never again.
LMAO don't tell me when I was here, you candyass roodypoo
never been to reddit as a matter of fact.
and 'an hero' was the stupidest phrase to come out of 4 chan. I said it then, and I say it now,
so take your butthurt someplace else cause it don't play here.
lol what the fuck are you saying? Are you some inbred Eurofag trying to speak in English? roodypoo? cause it don't play here?
Please anon. An hero.
aside from the fact you're on /b/ you don't seem too damaged…

captcha: aiessrrv curious
consider making a suicide pact and stop fucking up the thread.
>be 5 or 6
>Need to use little boys room
>Release stream of piss into toilet.
>be pissing
>cock starts getting longer and harder(I never seen anything like it b4)
>Just watched Harry Potter
>Think some magic voodo shit is going on
>I am blessed with the magic penis
>Magic penis is biggest thing i ever seen.
>Magic penis must be shared
>Run to spread word of my magical growing cock
> Cock is now a monster dong
>I run down hallway
>Feel magic dong shrinking
>Spell must be wearing off
>by time magical monster dong cock gets to end of hallway it has disappeared.
>Try to explain it to family.
>They lie
>Say they don't believe me
>I now realise they are lying cause how else would they gif birth to such handsome man.
>I never forget about the magic penis
>Always waiting for the spell to rise again.
File: image.jpg (12 KB, 218x231) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
12 KB, 218x231
>roody poo
File: ilovehitler.jpg (45 KB, 400x400) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
45 KB, 400x400
Fuck, I've repressed most of this shit. Gave me the guilts for years.

>Be five or six
>At sleepover at my best friends house.
>His older sister is on the bottom bunk bed, me, him and his younger sister are all sharing a couch bed or something on the floor.
>Have the great idea of fingerbanging little sister.
>Can't remember what I was saying, but turned it into some exploratory science experiment.
>5 minutes later me and my friend both have our fingers inside his little sisters pussy.
>His parents revealed they heard the whole 'conversation' from outside the room.

mfw they thought it was funny because they're german
Holy Kek, I lost.
File: image.jpg (21 KB, 320x240) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
21 KB, 320x240
Hey roody poo
Go make another thread about how not new you are bruh
>be 13
>be with 1st girlfriend
>be nervous as fuck as she offers to go down on me
>be so nervous that I fart uncontrollably whilst she's down there
>fart smells so bad that she cries and vomits on my dick
>never hear from her again

and where the fuck do you get that I'm SJW you shit sucking moron?
Because telling people 'kill yourself' or 'an hero' every time you get your panties bunched up in your little pussy makes you sound as retarded as you are? Because it's worn out because pole-smoking fartsniffers like yourself said it over and over and over at the stupidest possible times?
Doesn't change the fact that 4chan wasn't "built on an hero" which, if you're fortunate enough that it's the dumbest thing you've ever said then you're still a drooling imbecile.
>mfw they thought it was funny because they're german
That last line killed me
>mfw they thought it was funny because they're german
Wait... they listend and didn't stop you both from fingerDPing that girl?
oh god that's hot,
thanks /b/ro
Holy fuck /b/rothers anyone reading this? Please tell me what he's saying. I'm serious. I'm an amerifat and I don't get what this fool is saying. Holy fuck are you a slav?
took way too long for me
>candyass roodypoo
>proving you've been here since 2012

such oldfag

I still don't understand it.

The memory gave me guilty shudders all the way through my teens.
> For years at school visits to swimming pool would dry off and change on grass near pool instead of changing room, afraid of bus leaving without me

> Teacher in 1st grade wants to give me birthday spanking. Very embarrassed and confused as only know spanking as punishment. Teachers make fun of me.

> 2nd grade classmate pulls my trousers and underwear down in front of class. She comes over weeks later so I lay her on the bed, flip her school dress up and pull down her purple panties. I feel her ass. Be in same class a few years till get to high school. Strange between us
this made me cofused
I mean it's normal not to go fucking apeshit when kids are exploring shit like that but... parents not saying anything about wincest? You sure that the parents were not siblings themself? But they sound fun.
>flip her school dress up and pull down her purple panties. I feel her ass.
you claim you've been here since '03
and you're going to give me shit over roodypoo
You're such a fucking moron it isn't even funny
I mean, it literally isn't funny
File: 1407560084632.jpg (42 KB, 460x324) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
42 KB, 460x324
What do you want clarification on?
It's not supposed to be funny. It's supposed to be a wake up call. Why do you feel the need to cuss in between every word you say? This just proves how much of a foreigner you are.
4chan was up for 2 months in 03 I really fucking doubt you even knew what internet even was back then
/b/ro, I wasn't proving that I was oldfag
I proved that he is not
if he were, he would have said something more like
what you said, although it was before '12
File: file.png (267 KB, 950x898) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
267 KB, 950x898
>7th-9th grade
>gym class, wearing gym clothes
>go all out like I always do
>sweating a lot
>class ends so we go change
>put clothes in bag (pick related)
>including boxers and socks
>close it tight
>leave it there
>next week, it's gym again
>open bag, insanely strong smell
>tell teacher that I left it and it's smells
>she says it's fine I can just wear normal clothes if I want
>my choice
>chose to wear the gym clothes for some reason
>including boxers and socks
>we go outside, some people comments on the smell
>stutter out some explanation under my breath
>day ends
>not sure which day but whatever day we had home economics
>teachers had gone behind my back and given my clothes as a home economics assignment
>including boxers and socks
>behind my back is a manner of speech
>tells her right in front of me
>"why do I have to wash anons dirty clothes"
>tell her that it's not like I wanted her too
>tell teacher I want to do it myself
>says something like "but you don't"
>end up convincing her I'll do it but the girl had to do it with me
>I do all of it anyway much the relief of the girl
wtf is wrong with me. there's more but this is probably the worst
>be 12-13
>always go over to cousins to play
>cousin is a male and has a younger sister
>start getting curious as does cousin
>start doing stuff every now again like play "doctor"
>one day we are doing our normal stuff and the sister walks in
>sister starts laughing maniaclly and says I'M TELLING MUM really fucking loud
>beg her not to tell for about 5 minuets straight
>eventually she agrees but only on one condition
>says we have to play with her everytime I come over
>me and cousin never "play" again because always with sister

still going on to this very day and im 20 now
>So, leading a life of quiet oppressed dispair now?

wow, you've gotten boring really fast
every comment reeks of newfaggotry
>holy fuck /b/rothers...
>second grade
>few years to highschool
Are you Asian?
Was the ass fat?
Christmas of '03. I came here after hearing about it on the Something Awful boards
No why?
File: image.jpg (22 KB, 294x273) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Fuck, I was a sick fuck as a little kid. All this shit is coming to the surface now.

>Be still in that 5-8 age when apparently I was a horny little rapist.
>Trap younger female cousin in the spare bedroom.
>Lie on top of her, she kinda likes the game.
>Slide down so my head is between her legs.
>Pull down her pants and undies.
>Give her vagina sloppy kisses for fifteen minutes while she giggles nervously.

Dad came into my room later that day saying that he saw my brother doing what I was doing.
Not sure if we're both rapists or just some weird parenting psychology.

>Somewhere around this same time.
>Have a pretty, pale, golden-haired friend at school - our parents are actual friends.
>Go around to her house in the weekend.
>Playing in the sleepout while parents do boring talk and tea stuff.
>End up on the top bunk with me lying on her.
>Pull her top up and kiss her chest all over.
>Pull her pants down, she trys to pull them back up. It's that stretchy cotton-lycra material, so it just stretches up and down.
>Pull it down, kiss her pussy. She squirms and pulls it up.
>Hold her down for a bit.
>She gives up trying to stop me and I shove my fingers in her little cunt.
>Pull my pants down and rub my little baby cock all over her vag, but not really sure what to do.
>She stares blankly at the wall the whole time.

Never got invited back.
He's clearly a 17 year old faggot who learned all he knows about women from the internet (possibly shitty PUA forums) at any rate.
the fact that you're a moron is a wake up call?
oh my, was my 'cussing' offending you?
stop boring me, bitch
wtf mate.
I thought the sister is going to play doctor with you and the story turns into a big wincest threesome. Disapointed.jpg
fuck these niggers, shit like this isn't something to joke about. I feel your pain, been in a similar situation. Think people should pass a fucking test before fucking being allowed to have kids. And no bitch should be allowed to just slurp some cum in her cunt and boom get pregnant without the guy from which the cum came from's permission
No, standard ass for her age with that typical crack gap at the top. Very nice. Wanted me to do it again when over her house for dinner but didn't as her dad = creepy French pedo
God's too busy watching naked 13 year olds wank to answer prayers
File: image.jpg (14 KB, 208x199) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
You either were exposed to sex too early or were a twisted little kid
No, it's just not necessary nor is it making your point more correct.
sorry.jpg but this is real life and not my fantasy
Fuck. I love-hate being the black out guy.
he clearly had this
prepared long ago as "proof"
that he wasn't a newfag
real life fucking sucks...
>be 13
>super nerd in class, highest grades, extra courses etc
>get invited to help struggling students with their work by the teacher
>get paired with qt 9/10
>go round her house
>"hey anon it's better for us to study in my room"
>"uh ok"
>take out work books and stationary
>ask what she's struggling with
>she starts to casually stroke my leg
>instant boner
>start blushing
>start sweating
>she starts to make her way up to my crotch
>"I've always liked you anon are you ok with this?"
>touches penis
>"y-you too"
>stands up and lifts her skirt
>start to shake
>"w-whats under there?"
>start to cry
>accidentally pee a little
>run downstairs and tell her mum what she did
>say I want my mum
>get picked up in the car and say she tempted me away from my studies
>spread my butt cheeks
>friends turn into shrek
okay, back to the real story:
Top kek
hahahahaha omfg hahahah

It's weird, I had a really normal, nice - fuck, idyllic, almost - childhood.
Pretty sure I never was raped or molested.
Never even saw my parents having sex, I don't think.
But I had crazy, savage urges all the way up to my mid-teens.
bitch, just stfu and gtfo, you fail
Thread replies: 342
Thread images: 65
Thread DB ID: 13015

[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Other sexy stuff] [Home]
[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Other sexy stuff] [Home]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from them. If you need IP information for a Poster - you need to contact them. This website shows only archived content.
If a post contains personal/copyrighted/illegal content you can contact me at wtabusse@gmail.com with that post and thread number and it will be removed as soon as possible.