I'm in a weird place right now, /b/ and I need someone to hear my story. Jack off to this if you want to, call bs, i don't care. My name is Annie.
>be 5 year old me
>live in a good house, good neighborhood with good family
>everything is fine
>friend has 17 year old brother
>brother would take me into the basement and touch my vagina
>said not to tell anyone because it was our secret
>didn't think it was wrong
>it gets worse
Shall I continue?
>he tries to rape me
>he doesn't fit
>decides to finger me
>rubs my breasts
>don't like the fingering
>try to get away from him
>he holds me down
>continues to play with my nipples
>while saying how pretty I am
>rapes me a few days later
>cry a lot but can't tell anyone
>continues to molest me
>move away a year later
>have friends my age
>sitting down with "Elisa"
>says she's seen her parents having sex before
>wants to try it
>tell her i know what sex is
>start to touch and kiss her
>Titanic is on in the background
>Go to the part where Jack and Rose are kissing
>I say that I can be Jack and she can be Rose
>She lays on her back and I straddle her and grind against her
>I lean down and french kiss her
>She kisses back
>Continue kissing and humping her until I orgasm
>Says she wants to "feel good" too
>Let her be "Jack" now
>Does the same thing and humps my crotch
>She comes as well
>Fall asleep together
>Soon get other friends in on it
>Come on to "Milly", "Jenny" and "Naomi"
>They all want to do it
>They spend the night at my house (different girls at diff times)
>Teach them about being "the boy" and french kissing
>I have sex with my friends every weekend
>We open our legs up and press our vaginas together, french kissing and humping
>shirts are off and we're touching eachother's small breasts
>Milly loves it
>Naomi loves it
>Naomi lives across the street
>have sex in her house
>in her room
>in my pool
>Start becoming addicting to "finishing" (orgasming)
>masturbate on the bus
>in the school bathroom
>masturbating from 1-5 times a day
>Naomi and I "fucking" like rabbits
>One time we were outside in a tiny shitty plastic pool
>we put a cooler over our heads
>kiss under the cooler so no one can see
>pin her down and ride her
>in the backyard, partly obscured by trees and a fence
>take her into the bathroom at school and hump and kiss there
>teacher bans us from going to the bathroom together because we stay in there too long
>she takes me into a small club house in the playground
>we kiss there
>have "sex" multiple times a day when we're together
>start having threesomes with Milly and Jenny
>Jenny always finds a way to get out of it
>stop being her friend
>Naomi takes her place
>we take turns being "the man"
>one is humping the other's crotch while another is kissing her and playing with her nipples
>make sure everyone orgasms
>continue having threesomes
>Milly, Naomi, Jenny, Elisa and another friend is at the sleepover party
>other friend leaves
>cue 7 year old lesbian orgy
>take turns fucking eachother
>switch off every few minutes
>have sex with naomi and elisa more because Jenny was dumb and Milly was annoying
>Few weeks later, Elisa and I are having sex in living room
>brother comes out into living room
>panic and try to find panties
>brother sees us and tells us not to do that anymore
>Elisa and I go to sleep scared and crying, thinking he's going to tell someone
>The next day, feel like my life is going end
>beg my brother not to tell anyone
>he agrees not to, seeing how upset I am
>live with boyfriend in apartment
>realize i'm attracted to little boys
>don't look for cheese pizza
>realize i'm probably a pedo and i'm fucked up
>fuck my life
Uh, it's called being traumatized, duh. I'm sure if you know, got ACTUAL help from the right person you'd be fine.
It's kind of sad you went to talk about it on 4chan to let sick fucks fap instead of have a valid conversation, but then again, that's just to protect yourself. Either way, get help. Rape, especially as children, is incredibly traumatizing and I can guarantee the only reason you'd disagree is because you blocked it out or don't want to remember.
And it's totally common for people who were raped as a kid to do it to other children or develop an attraction. It's still not right, but it makes sense considering what happened.
Yeah i'm working on it. Seeing one tomorrow.
I started liking girls older and my age when I was 14. I kept thinking about having sex with younger boys for some reason during that time. I don't know why. All I do now is look and roleplay with my boyfriend.
im a pedo too now also a girl, 19. started being attracted to young girls last year, i kind of lost my mind. but i was molested as a child and been raped by people i trusted. the rape happened from when i was 15 onward. lost my virginity to rape. anyway yeah. im fucked up, i dont have sex or date anymore.
Well it doesn't take any real psychoanalysis to figure it out. Generally those molested or raped at a young age have a tendency to emulate the experience or at least fantasize about it later in life. For example many men molested as young boys end up becoming homosexual pedophiles later in life, or struggle with those urges.
Your early experimentation was simply a way of coming to understand what had happened with the still trusted sex.
I'm glad you're getting help. Good luck anon, I wish you the best.
Please get help too. You need it. It's not being a pedophile, it's cycling the abuse you experienced. Help yourself. I wish you the best.