/b/, what are your best dirty fighting tactics?
Everyone knows to kick in the balls, gouge eyes, or whatever, but I want something different. Give me the good shit.
slap both ears as hard as you can. sounds retarded but it really fucks you up. That and sheild your face with your forearms and just keep trying to hit him with elbows, it looks retarded and wont work against heavily trained people but it works if you just want to hurt the guy and not show off
When you both start walking towards each other ready to fight, take your shirt off but dont throw it to the side. Pick your pace up and throw it at the other guys face, hes going to automatically try to block the shirt and knock it away. Thats when you sucker punch him.
If not sucker punching him then shove him in the chest as hard as you can so hes unbalanced then sucker punch him or go for a tackle and headlock.
you can't cheat at fighting. Keeping flexible and in shape and learning how to fight are the only way.
Unless you count sneaking up on someone and sucker punching them, which is still not cheating because there are no agreed rules, fuck, bring a gun with you everywhere, but you will still have to watch out for the person that has a gun and is quicker and better at using theirs.
Carry pepper spray and don't start any shit and you should stay out of legal trouble and out of the hospital/morgue.
Anything that hits them on the throat will ensure a bit of gagging and swing the momentum in your favor. Oh and if you can land it clapping their ears (imagine your hands are cymbals and you slam them close on both their ears will leave them dazed and ear ringing for quite a while.
leap on him
rip his pants off
start giving him the best blowjob of his life
slurping that cock down my throat
swallowing all of his semen, and then
I call him a faggot, because he orgasmed when a man sucked his cock
while he's crying i throw so pocket sand in his eyes and stuff my cock in his ass, to show him who's boss, not because it's gay, this hurts me more then it hurts them
Not that dirty but rush forward and step on one of their feet, pushing them with your body. When they instinctively move back their head will follow making it very easy to uppercut them along the jawline.
for me, it'd have to be a strong thrust kick into the side of someone's knee, breaking their leg easily.
the opportunity might not present itself, but if it does, i'd break a fuckers leg.
i saw this stupid ass picture detailing several fight moves that all sounded stupid, but one sounded kinda plausible, in the right circumstance.
it was called the brain buster and involved getting the dude's head in your arm, guillotine style, grab the back of his belt with your other hand and fall backwards, onto his head.
not necessarily dirty but it sounds like you could seriously fucking kill him if you could pull it off
I once was in a confrontation on the street, I didn't want to fight and if I'd fisticuffs this guy I would have lost so I punched him in the adam's apple and ran.
I think he died.
I've always wanted to try this, but I took a martial art where we learned a "sacrificing throw" called a sutemi (sp?) Basically you do a front flip and land on the back of your lats and part of you shoulder as well as part of your ass to displace the force of the impact.
If you were able to grab somebody by the wrist or arm or neck and throw yourself, you'd fuck em up.
Getting struck in the kidney, also an open-palm hit to the ears. Had both of them used on me in a fight by the mammoth on the right, pretty much ended the fight for me, got my shit rekt.
If your going to fall anyways, go with it and just plan an attack from the ground on their knees.
If grappling on the ground for some reason, grab and appendage with both hands and plant feet against their body and pull while pushing with feet, you can easily exceed 1700 of pressure that way... try not to have your back bent at the time though.
When you strike open hand.. side of hand, or whatever.. never consider the blow done after the strike, always grab and try to rend flesh back in some fashion on the pullback... ears, eyelids, cheeks, nose, hair, loose skin, scrotum, whatever you can rip off.
If you are forced into the situation where you can... then bite... not just a nip.. chomp as big a mouthful of flesh as you can and then clamp down until you feel the pain in your jaw and teeth.
Grab any hard object at hand and use it. If you have one in hand.. rock, keys, whatever, if you can't stab with it, rake it back and forth across skin while applying pressure.
Rake down the front of the shin with the side of your boot/shoe, you can actually tear the skin off the entire front side of the leg that way down to bone, even through jeans.
make a dive for his legs (lowest point possible) and lift/tackle him out of balance, if you do it right theres a 75% chance he hits the floor with his head and even if not so you´ll get up quicker and have therefore the upper hand for a while
Surely you can dominate me and penetrate my anus with your massive cock. :^)
This is how you take out a strong guy.
> punch to throat
> headbutt nose
That will give you a sufficient amount of time to land a couple punches or kick or run away
> also this
got damn now all i can think about is rat mma. I WANT IT TO BE REAL SO FUCKING MUCH.
i would bet on them and raise one and teach it kung fu then watch him use his deadly techniques on other rats.
>I know how to effectively murder my opponents, the internet has told me so. Don't criticize my fedora.
Not a martial art.
> ju jitsu
ALSO op..you want to go completely apeshit in a fight. Do NOT try to stay calm and controlled. The angrier you angrier really the more adrenaline you have and the more powerful you are.
>HUR DUR, STOOPID FOCKING CANCEROUS LE TUMBLR FAGGOT! DIE IN A FUCKING HOLE YOU FUCKING WHEEL BARREL MADE OF DICKS! UR R TH CANCER RUNING MUH /B/
Use a weapon - this one is obvious.
Granted, that can really tack on some pretty nasty legal trouble if the cops show up and you've shivved a nigger or bashed his brains in with a bit of pipe.
Oh, and be sure to pull a Harvey Dent and always be packing TWO of every weapon, just in case they shuold disarm you and believe to find themselves at an advantage, then WHAM - two guns, bitch.
Bad idea, there's a judo technique called katakatame, you cover his face with his own arm, you can choke him that way and end the fight if you get pulled into groundwork, but that's only if it's a 1v1 fight, otherwise you'd have people stomping you all around