What's up /b? I slept with this girl that I met at the bar the other night. She ended up being completely crazy and threatening me and shit. Dumping the texts until I fall asleep.
That hit the nail on the head. After we fucked she confessed to being sexually assaulted when she was 4 and needing meth to get pleasure from sex.
And you're saying there's more of this shit? Hot damn, anon
>hook up with girl from bar
>fast foward next week
>been texting all week
>end up going to a party and doing cocain all night
> and drinking copious amounts of liquor
>decide to invite here over to so called party
>be cuddling on the couch
>see 3 of my closets friends
>try to introduce them
>she freaks out and starts yelling at them for talking to me
>i told her to calm down
>tries to throw an empty glass bottle at one of said friends
>looks at me and says
>WHATS IT GONNA BE ME OR YOUR FRIENDS
>tell her obvs my friends over some random broad
>gets even madder
>looks at me and says ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
> I laugh with my friends we go and do some more drugs and drink
>she leaves in tears
>nevver text her again
>tells all her friends im the asshole
Just once, can you ask for someone to have proper grammar, just once? IS IT SO FUCKING HARD TO LEARN HOW TO WRITE?
This dive bar up the street from my house. Was a regular there around this time last year and never met anyone there like this. Turns out she lives 2 blocks from my house.
Last text, but I have another pic or two of screen capped missed calls.
This is definitely not the first time that I have brought a girl home from that bar. Sometimes I would bring the same girl home from that bar on multiple occasions. Again, never met anyone like this.
Hmm, no. At least a minimal amount of decency could make you write like you should, english, not engrish. ERMAHHGERDD. OP is kill, girl is tardis, pic is unrelated.
OP, what's your first name?
>ITT: We all text crazy and pretend to be OP texting her from a new number
Doing so will confuse crazy so she won't know who the real OP is, and OP can then quit replying forever and change his number. It's cooler this way.
Not my personal army
The other two numbers were ones she used after I blocked the first one.
Dude that bitch is fckinggg psycho, had a conversation with her as you, guess we sound alike, and she bought it and told me all she needed was a call and that she doesnt need you in her life anymore holy shit op. Thank you top fuckin kek
Im getting the same
>mfw she wakes up to hundreds of voicemails, all from jake, all in different voices.
Thanks man. Actually my ex of three years moved out just over a month ago. I met a new girl who works at a smoke shop and shit is going good. I haven't had sex since my ex and it's that time with smoke shop girl. I didn't want to suck in bed, so I wanted to fuck a random girl to get one nut out of the way and last longer for new chick.
OP this bitch was crazy laughing the whole time. And she kept saying how mean I was and I was like "Oh.. I mean I thought I was being nice to you"
>then she was like "So who keeps calling me?"
>"I don't know baby"
>"Well you won't even answer my question so i'm just gonna go because.. i'm busy
>"Alright... I love you"
>"I love you too"
OP dis bitch cray
>Made my fucking night!
She wanted to know where i lived.. I told her to text me so i can screenshot most of it, and she said no so i told her that my finger was about to press the end button and she was like Ooooo and shit. Fucking hot but weird. Need to know what this cunt looks like
Why haven't I heard any of you vocaroo niggers introduce yourself as "jake from state farm" yet?
I promise I would if I had a mic.
ok, give me a minute while i fiddle with the phone and shit. And yes, im australian, but my accent isnt super thick, but i can make it super thick.
This is the beat thread in a long fucking time.
Op, I would buy you dinner.
Vocaroo anons, you are golden. Keep it up.
For added points,
Head to the middle of your city, pref Melbourne, buy a packet of Winfield blues, go up to abos and ask them to say their names jake to the phone and give em' a durry. 41 in 1 jakes.
Oh god my sides
"wait your white but from mexico?"
Topkeks....Good work anon..
Bwahahahahahahaha OMG this thread fucking delivers. Fucking amazing...
Add the country code to the beginning of the number. +1 for the USA, substitute +61 for the first 0 in a mobile number for Australia, etc. Google it and it will tell you exactly how.
Unless you're in North Korea, in which case I don't think you're allowed to know the outside world exists.
>Name, number, and address
>says something about people calling and asks why i want to talk to her
>Because I'm bored
>You think you're cute but you aren't
>I think you're cute
>crazy girl giggle, "I know, but everyone's cute once in their lifetime..." suddenly sad crazy
>But you're really cute
>she hang up :(
why was this not longer jesus fucking christ
This is best thread of the night, keep them coming hero anon's
Thank you /b/ros. To OP, the anons that called her and all these funny comments....just so much kek tonight. I love you all.
This hold thread deserves the praise of being called TopKek
Toasting in Epic Bread
>AJ berimoo in orange country san francisco
Thank you anon
hook anon up with MethHeadBetty.gif for the orbital kek
I told her I'm a hard working man, young, doing computer stuff. To which she said "I'm tech salvy", and she kept moaning and shit, and was saying how she doesn't even know if I'm cute, and kept calling me baby and asking if I was single and saying she loved me.
But the crazy is luring me in... I want to reply...
>that wasn't cute at all
>ok you got that? You write that shit down?
>ok you fuckin should
I'm a hard lurker. Never post. But holy shit. Golden thread. And this is the winner. Sides are non existent.
Of course not. Jake was her ex that she had a kid with. They couldn't take care of it so they gave it up for adoption. He is still madly in love with her. She called him after we fucked, put him on speaker, and told him about us.
you aren't gonna get any pussy out of that anon. Sorry you get to keep your virginity for another 40 years you whiteknight neckbeard faggot.
By the time she opens that this thread will have 404'd anyway.
Ban this faggot
Fuck, I know. This bitch wasn't my first train wreck headache.
Not Nichole, but another crazy
everyone send her a bunch of texts with links to random 4chan threads. She will open up one or two and be like wtf? this is completely random bullshit and she won't open that one.
the thread is kill
although this would be pretty damn lolzy
Fuck i have no life this made me laugh so hard.
you sly dog you.
OP is certainly not a faggot today.