guys, help a /b/ro out
>be at a party
>see a hot chick, easily 9/10
>approach her for small talk
>she starts flirting
>be like "it's a bit crowded, wanna go out?"
>we go outside to sit on the porch
>she asks what I think of her tattoo
>a pentagram on her shoulder
>"not really into the occult but looks cool"
>smiles and is like "I'm cold", obviously wants to make out
>wrap my arms around her
>slowly move down toward her ass
>"what are you doing"
>think of something to say
>"I think I dropped something"
>"NO! it's just a ring"
>she gets up, doesn't believe me
>"ok ok but we're separated, divorce soon"
>she sits back down like "meh"
>end up bringing her to my place
>have some wild sex
>"did you use a condom?"
>tfw not sure
>"I... I think so?"
>fastforward 3 months
>we went out a dozen or so times
>one morning, really early, she calls me
>be like "ok, ok..."
>she hangs up suddenly
>how did I fuck up?!
>midnight, can't sleep
>"I'm not pregnant"
>"I had a miscarriage, that's why I hung up"
>I don't have the training for this
>"ok calm down, did you see a doctor?"
>claims it's ok and there's nothing wrong
>I know she's hiding something
Wow what a butthole
>I ask her if she's sure
>immediately know I fucked up asking that
>"A DEAD BABY LEFT MY PUSSY IN PUBLIC"
>"MY ASS EXPLODED FROM THE PAIN"
>"I SHAT MY PANTS AND SCREAMED"
>"IN A BUS FULL OF PEOPLE"
>"ok ok ok I'm sorry it was a stupid question"
>she's like "it's ok I'm just kinda emotional"
>we talk about stuff, she calms down
>morning, didn't sleep at all
>have to go to work
>feel tired and worried
>call in sick
>then call a friend who's a nurse
>"my gf had a miscarriage"
>"GET HER TO A DOCTOR NOW"
>"she doesn't want to"
>"[insert some medical explanation why]"
>"OK OK OK I'LL TAKE HER TO SEE ONE"
yes, here's another
>"I called my friend, he's a nurse"
>"he said you have to see a doctor"
>try to explain the reasons he told me
>she's like "fine but only if you don't come"
>I should realise something is wrong
>being sleepy and panicked, I don't
>she doesn't have a car, I do
>she asks me to drive her there
>haven't slept almost at all
>feel drunk and hangover at once
>of course I shouldn't be driving...
>but what do you know, I get in the car
>pick her up from her place
>manage to get to clinic without crashing
>"ok see you later"
>start on my way back home
>first half goes just fine
>turn a corner and hit the brake
>a bunch of dicks in the middle of the road
>just standing there
>yell out loud "fuck off!"
>two of them come on my car
>"FUCK OFF" intensifies
>others start wrecking at the boot
>be like "HEY DICKHEAD"
>fuck the police and all but this?
>I gotta call them
>operator is like "what's up?"
>"some dicks are banging my rear"
>be like "of my car!"
>"oh... well mate, stay calm"
>"my gf just had a miscarriage!"
>she's like "OK AMBULANCE IS COMING"
>"HANG IN THERE"
>try to explain I didn't mean right now
>resistance is futile
>the biggest dick knocks off a rear mirror
>I get out of the car
>he ignores me
>"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?"
>they all ignore me
>fuck this shit
>get back in the car
>hit it to the floor
>drive home safely
>everything went better than expected
>a couple hours later
>she calls me and is like "I need to tell you something"
>"I had anorexia when I was younger"
>"it fucked up my body pretty bad"
>"the doctor said the baby isn't dead"
>be like "how can that be possible"
>apparently it wasn't a miscarriage
>it was a cervical prolapse
>wrap my arms around her
>slowly move down toward her ass
>"what are you doing"
I was in a similar situation like this once in my virgin days almost caught a rape charge. Shit's serious.
>"ok that's bad, is it fixed now?"
>I can feel the silence thickening
>"ARE YOU FUCKING DAFTARDED!?!?"
>"I NEED MOTHERFUCKING SURGERY"
>be like "ok ok ok ok sorry"
>she's having some tomorrow
>would've had already but it's not "bad enough"
>like fuck it isn't, I googled that shit
>I eat and watch TV, be on /b/
>manage to fall asleep, finally
>wake up in the morning
>had nightmares of her cervix eating me
>I don't even know
>spend the day on /b/ and fapping
>don't hear from her at all
>now it's the day after that
>try to call her number over and over
>not picking up
>went to the clinic, she's not there
>they said she's in the ER
>went there, she's not there
now I'm home and don't know what to do
apparently not necessarily, somehow just the cervix kinda fell out and not the whole uterus... not sure how it works
>>"A DEAD BABY LEFT MY PUSSY IN PUBLIC"
>>"MY ASS EXPLODED FROM THE PAIN"
>>"I SHAT MY PANTS AND SCREAMED"
>>"IN A BUS FULL OF PEOPLE"
Das fucking nasty yo.
Is that really what happens?
that's pretty much what she said
and I'll dump asses until some advice
I'll make sure to tell her that as an option, haha... if she's not dead or missing or anything like that
go back to the ER, grab the nearest patient and bite his nose off. that should fix everything
did you even read it? I have no clue where she is and besides, a baby wouldn't be that bad if it won't grow up to be a serial killer or something
they told me she was there (I showed them a few pics of us together, they didn't at first want to tell me anything but they believed that she's my gf) but no clue where she went, it's like she disappeared without leaving the place, one of the nurses said she'd call me if she turns up but she hasn't... and no one seemed to know when she wasn't there anymore, 2spooky4me type shit
well I felt it may be important to mention that, it added some stress you know?
nah, I'm not from Miami
weird I guess?
She is either going to get an abortion without telling you, which wouldnt be that bad, or shes going to have the baby, which apparently youre cool with. I dont see what the problem is. Id keep fucking that prolapsed anus of hers.
The only thing you need to do once she contacts you is to make sure the kid is or is not yours. She sounds real flighty, crazy, and like she is lying alot (so shes a woman) and you cannot take her word on anything. For now, stick to fapping.
yeah but there's the third option, that she's being held hostage by some mad doctor who's gonna sew her mouth to somebody's ass or abducted by aliens or fuck if I know...
and it's not her anus that prolapsed
nah I don't see how it could be related unless she hired them or something but that's fucking stupid and makes no sense
lol what the fuck are you talking about man? you need to get some sleep. Theres nothing you can do right now. I guarantee she is just super embarrassed and feels like a whore and is freaking out on her own. Leave her a message or two and then leave it.
>meet girlfriend through a friend
>be friends for years
>finally end up dating
>take it slow
>end up fucking a year later
>she's stable and nice
>I'm nice and stable
>we don't have drama
I feel like people purposefully seek out OP-style stories to live out.
bunker down and wait for a call
maybe she got an abortion
maybe there never was a baby
if there IS a baby you need to jump on the is it even mine train
chill out bro there isn't much you can do
nah, well yeah I'm not absolute if the baby's mine but I'm pretty sure she hasn't fucked anyone else since we're together. could be but it's not that big a deal unless she got some std or it's some big man criminal who's gonna sell her to sex slavery
no clue what happened to them, my car has some dents and shit but it's mostly fine and I just need to get it fixed which will cost a bit though
yeah I guess, thanks
of course it's not her ass... these are some porn asses
I guess you have a point but a lot of people don't meet their gfs like that, it's like love at first sight without the whole feel part... that comes later
yes we can
hey op, it sounds this girl is unstable a bit. Plase make sure at some point that the baby really is yours. You can also go back to ER and tell about this weird-ass situation that you was being told shes there but now isnt and your nervous
I'm actually a faggot and the stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood
I don't doubt you guys would masturbate to this coconut.
This is one of the best stories I've read here, but maybe it's because I'm drunk.
thanks, have some kawaii (ﾉ◕▽◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ♥
btw I'm the same guy who did that bear in the shower thing if anyone remembers that
you'll have more of it later
for the rest of your life
>mfw /b/ is literally half of my life
it's easy: think of A, and think of B! DON'T THINK OF THEM TOGETHER, think of them separately... then connect them
>attempt a handstand
>prop myself up on my hands
>suddenly see under a chick's skirt
>a vein bursts in head
>"ANON DID YOU LOOK UP MY SKIRT???"
>"FUCK YOU BITCH I'M A COWBOY"
>pull out a gun
>epic shoot-out with Clint Eastwood