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Most sexually depraved things you've...
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Most sexually depraved things you've ever done I want stories
I'll start
>be me 8th grade
>already had heard of /b/ and browsed from time to time
>already into rape porn and things of the sort
>I wanted to rape someone really bad
>masturbated multiple times a day to the thoughts of raping certain girls at school I wasn't particularly fond of
>in English class I get put behind one of the girls let's call her Samantha
>6/10 face 9/10 body (for an 8th grader)
>class is set up with 2 diagonal rows on each side of the class pointing towards the back of the room
>back of the room has a table
>not enough desks for kids
>2 kids sit at back table
>I am one of them
>puts me in a positions here Samantha's ass was right near me
>spend a lot of class time staring at it
>one day teacher makes us do group work and Samantha has to turn her chair towards the table along with another student
>teacher starts talking after a while so Samantha turns towards her
>Samantha's ass is right in front of me
>no one is looking because they are watching the lesson
>Reach my hand and lightly stroke her ass through her pants
>she turns slightly then turns back to lesson
>i do it again getting some more confidence and she tries to ignore me
>I am pushing harder on her ass and lightly squeezing it
>do this every day for like two weeks
>she starts to tell lots of people
>whole grades knows
>some of my friends don't believe her
>i start telling everyone it was just a rumor
>everyone believes me
>Mfw I got away with it
so did you fuck her?
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1/10 for not having intercourse with her
Didn't fuck just touched I was beta as fuck and after that in high school and never even tried I am a creepshot photographer i have pics of her and her friends I took back then but can't put em on /b/ because cp
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Not CP if not nudes, dude. And it don't sound like you were in a position to get nudes.
you name it i have done it, on drugs.
Post rape story then
I can top that!
>be me
>be in 8th grade
>have a friend that is a gril with C-sezed tit
>see one of my old friends grab her tit
>apparently I think that means it's okay to do that shit
>grab her tits almost everyday
>mfw she still sat by me & my groups of friends
>yfw I still grabbed boob everyday
>no faces
>some years later in 11th grade
>she rejoins my school
>she says she is happy to see me because we are "old friends"
>idk why? all i did was molester her
>one day she gets in fight with one of my friends
>then she left halfway through the year after huge fight with one of my friends
>tfw, I never told her I was sorry
Yeah... I fucked up
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Based on first line, assuming OP is in 9th grade. Hey there newfriend.
8th grade we took a trip to Washington DC and they had no panties under their skirts and I got a pic so it is nudes
>be me
>10 years ago
>some chick is house sitting and throws a party
>30 min drive
>go with a bunch of friends
>all the people at the party a bunch of fags
>some fag thinks it's funny to pants me
>flip out on him
>ppl take me outside to cool off
>while outside plot my revenge
>go back inside, tell the fag I wanna squash the beef, talk in private
>go into a different room
>beat the fuck out of him
how is tha sexual? Did you raep him?
>yo, we gatta roll!!!!
>grab a couple of chick friends, some friends stay behind
>drive home
>one chick wants to go home, other chick wants to party
>decide to go back to the party
>too drunk, can't find the house
>call a friend in the area
>"yo, I need to crash at your place"
>get to friends house, friends playing WoW
>"let me use your couch"
>me and chick go to sleep
>wake up an hour later
>chick drunk and passed out
>slip hand under bra, feel da titty
>slip hand under thong, finger the pussy
>take all clothes off the chick
>fuck her while she sleeps
>pass out
>wake up in the morning
>see chick getting dressed
>never talk about it
>chick best friends with me for the next 5 years until she OD's
>good times

Much more where that came from
>be me
>8th grade
>after school program, id have to stay for 2 hours afterschool and do homework
>sitting at a table with 4 kids on each side and a teacher at the end
>Take my tiny kok out and masturbate with my wrist
>looking at chubby black chicks tits sitting straight across from me
>im staring right at them cumming
>cum all over my hand, i wiped it on the carpet
>I don't think anyone noticed
i made this vid today and shaved my legs feel sor of ashamed tell me what you guys think, fuck i feel to good looking to not have a gf

motherless(dot com slash)A02EE0D
Do you ever just brush past a random fine ass with your hand?
I do that shit all the time.
Play it off like it's an accident.
Ill save you all the details and tell you the just of what I did

>Was probably 7th grade
>Horny teenager
>Put ziplock bag inbetween couch cushion
>Squirt lotion inside
>Fuck the bag
>Didn't know ripped the bag
>Came inbetween my couch cushions

That is all I have to say about that
>be me
>22 yrs old
>friend brings over chick he's been in love with for years
>we all drink and play cards
>I start taking pics
>chick really into it
>I tell chick to show that ass
>chick does
>I tell chick to give us lap dances
>chick does
>I whisper in chick ear I wanna fuck her
>chick tells friend she's hungry
>friend goes to BK
>I fuck chick on the washing machine in my basement
>friend offs himself few months later because chick won't go out with him again
> be me
> 16 y/o
> virgin, had kissed a few girls and made out and shit
> fap everyday
> live with grandma
> shes a heavy sleeper
> had great idea
> sneak in one night with raging boner
> lay in bed under the covers with her, she doesnt wake up
> shes facing a different direction, her back is facing me
> start approaching her slowly nervous as shit
> finally my crotch makes contact with her fatass
> feelsgoodman.jpg
> starts rubbing slowly
> even though i was wearing boxers and she was wearing panties under a pijama it felt hot as hell
> muh dick couldnt take it anymore
> put one arm around her and press
> cum the biggest load ive ever came in my life
> tfw i fuck with my actual gf and i still dont cum like that
i still masturbate to the thought of me rubbing against my grandmas ass
>me, 12
>not many other kids to play with in neighborhood
>7 year-old girl and 6 year-old girl want to play with me
>I'm older than them, they think I'm cooler
>go to the park
>they want to go on the swings
>I push them
>start touching their asses
>"push us harder!"
>start pushing harder
>shoving fingers between ass cheeks
>handfuls of pre-pubescent ass

Later that summer

>I go over to 6 year-old's house to play
>she wants to show me her pussy
>pulls down bathing suit
>rub my fingers in it
>she touches my dick
>rub each other for a few minutes
>her parents wonder why we're so quiet
>start coming down stairs
>quickly fix our bathing suits
>fingers smelled like her pee
what in the fuck
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daym, son
>be me
>year ago
>chick friend from way back has a drug problem
>not super hot, but hot enough
>asks to stay with me to get clean
>I say yes
>chick lives with me for a couple of months
>I get the hook up for oxys
>tell her I'll support her habit for favors
>use her like a flashlight for the next few months
>really depraved shit, give her oxys after
>few months ago, I get bored
>tell her to leave
>she refuses
>call cops on her
>they take her away
>haven't heard a peep since
a 6 year old? I don't know anon...
Sounds pretty fishy
All the 8th grade stories!
>Be me, 8th Grade, 14
>pretty average, dress slightly nicer than everyone else (hipster piece of shit)
>have friend named Sam
>Sam is 8/10 punk chick all around
>we smoked weed a lot together
>be end of year
>samantha and I are pretty close, she doesn't give a fuck what happens
>I have a thing for ass, so I grab hers
>first time feeling ass, is great
>she does a 'what the fuck' thing but doesn't care.
>I take this as a sign of approval, thus grab her ass all the damn time
>very last day of school, me and her are sitting on a cooler near the snow cone maker thing
>she has her ass out in the open, so I begin groping it
>no response, she's used to it.
>my friend Kyler, who's a fuckin short ass mormon bitch is trying to tell me how snowcones are made
>after a while of playing with her ass, I finally stick my hand in her pants
>she's wearing leggings, didn't expect her to not be wearing underwear
>my finger slips and goes straight in her butthole
>I look over and see shes been sweating and slightly moaning
>stick two fingers in, pumpin this shit through the roof
>she eventually cums, because she jerks forward, with my hand rocketing out of her leggings, falls on Kyler before straightening herself up.
>I notice now I have a massive erection that I had been covering up with my jacket I always wore.
>she sits back down and whispers in my ear something like 'want some more?' Or sexy ass shit that made me want to put my wiener in her butt
>I get up, covering myself with my jacket, Kyler still explaining goddamn chemical snowcones n shit
>she takes me into the woods near our school, which was easy to sneak in to since It's the last day of school.
>she ends up giving me an amazing pothead blowjob that I will always remember
>shit was ca$h
that does it. You ruined all sex for me. I'm going to cut off my cock and never have it again.
story/10, would read agen
>be me
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I used to wank in school for a short time. Did it in detention and in the toilets once.
In 7th grade blackmailed a chick for nudes.
I got drunk at a party in college and groped between 10 and 15 different girls.

I always asked permission first, but in a few cases, I kind of jumped the gun and asked mid-grope. One girl got mad, but her boyfriend thought it was hilarious.

All of this was quite out of character for me.

It occurs to me now that I may be guilty of some kind of sexual assault.
I have like two more if you faggots desire.
Let's see 'em.
Why the fuck do I even go on /b/?
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I hung out with a few punk girls in high school. Fuck they were hot little sluts.
I thought I was the only one
Only did it once, in 3rd grade
Shit was nice
Sauce on OP pic?
>be me
>like 20 yrs old
>go to chicks house with friend who's in love with chick
>drink lots of tequila
>chick asks to play strip poker
>friend too embarrassed, won't play
>"Fuck it, I'll do it"
>chick tells friend if he don't play, he can't look
>chick forces friend to sit in the corner and look out the window
>time passes
>friend still in corner, me and chick both naked, no more clothes to bet
>bet on fucking
>I cheat
>fuck chick on kitchen table
>friend 10 feet away
>pretty sure friend cried
Mah nigga!
>was about 9 years old
>we had a maid, she was around 17 i guess? can't remenber, but she was young
>always bothered her
>won't stop bothering her untill she showed me her tits
>she let me suck her tits a couple of times so i wont bother her for a while

not really depraved on my side...but it was depraved on her side
Same. Lost them a short time after when I broke my phone though so don't ask guys.
This is all funny because I read:
> Be me
> 10 years old
>be me
>be 21
>gf dumps me
>rape her
>Be me in 8th grade
>horny mofo id do anything that had a vagina
>english class there's a black chick in front of me who was jacked up. hairy, smelled like nignog, and had buck teeth.
>I accidentally kick her butt one day and she turns around and gives me this look sort of approval
>do it again the next day and the day after, but was absent the following day
>"yay you're here anon!" which was weird because i hardly even talked to her.
>end up watching to kill a mockinbird and grab her ass with my hand
>she looks at me and winks and i ask if she wants to hang out after school
>she ends up coming over (told my mom we had to do a project) and fingered her. smelled like fish. first girl i ever fingered.

fast forward to my senior year
>walking after pe
>chick in tenth grade in front of me wearing norts (nike shorts) but still had a pretty nice butt
>catches me staring not once, not twice, but three times.
>ask her for a number and got pics that night.
>got mad because i showed my friends....didnt talk to me again
>Roughly 6-7 yo me with same age friend
>She has a 1/10 face 5/10 body but 10/10 tits
>She ask her moms if she can show us how baby are made
>Her mom said sure
>She got naked and opend her pussy with both her hands while her mother and i was looking

Fucking 100% true, what the fuck

>> go to brothel
>> have hooker spank me. cum all over
>> thinking "how did it cum to this?"
Fucked a girl in a movie theater parking lot, in my moms car. Bunch of nigger kids on bikes riding around parking lot eventually make their way to our car, look inside and ride off screaming "theres naked people in there!!" Funny as fuck. Windows were all steamed up. Climbed into front seat and drove off naked.
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Pic related.
I'm on my cell, so no greentext.
Takes way too long.

Be me, probably about 7th grade
Have to sleep over cousin's
Easily 8/10, 10/10 now,
I'm sleeping on the floor in her bedroom
Boner jam '05
She sleeps on her side with her mouth open
Hesitate at first, but slide my dick in her mouth
Get courage, totally mouth raping her
After a while, i think she' s awake.
No fucks given
Keep going.
I'm like halfway down her throat.
She's totes awake.
Feels good
Mfw she smiles at me in the morning
Doesn't mention a thing

Started doing this type if shit with girls til i was 17. They never say anything. Fucking dope, man. Wouldn't do it with all the rape indoctrination girls ard getting nowadays though.
>elementary school
>be a crossing guard
>its raining so we have big rain ponchos
>I jerk off underneath poncho to all the mom and kiddie butts I see
>cum directly into poncho
>hang that shit up for all the other guards to use
>did this every day it rained
i have done the same thing but to alot of girls and everyone rather liked it, same age though

this one might win. and I actually believe it
I sniff and lick and masturbate with my nieces' dirty panties. They're 6 and 11yo.
Tell us more of your under age pot head sex adventures
What kind of cell you got, a fucking Nokia 6230i?
I can top that:
>Was 6 years old.
>Had teenage housemaid. Tig ol' bitties.
>Used to play around alot.
>One day sneak into her room at night and start feeling her up.
>She grabs my hand.
>I keep going.
>Eventually hand in pussy.
>Finger that shit till my hands smell like bad tuna.
>Squeezed tit and left room.
>She worked for us for 10 more years.

mfw I still get off on the memory of that smell.

Anon greentext isn't for true stories
Go for it
>pumpin this shit through the roof
youre awesome
i put my ipod in my group partners bathroom in 11th grade and put it on record right before i left. came over the next day got it and brought it home. a 42 minute recording of her walking in and out and at the very end right before it dies or hit its storage limit she walked by naked and got in the shower (glass door but couldnt see much)
wish i still had it. shes in a sorority now so i assume slut
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You sir, are FUCKED
You got it bub.
>be me, one month after this incident
>haven't seen Sam in a while, been blue balling it since
>sisters friend Destiny is coming over to spend the night, same night as my cousin
>Destinys a 7/10 slightly chubby girl, big ass and big tits. Nice long dirty blonde hair. Also a slut.
>normally, when this happens, we all just sleep in the living room, making palets and shit sleeping bags
>it descends into night, about 1 am
>everybody is asleep, the tv is on and playing
>Destiny is sleeping on my right side, figure I can have some fun
>start out by grabbing her ass through the covers, shit is amazing.
>her body shifts a bit, so I back off.
>go back to groping lightly, then put my hand in the cover
>I think she subconsciously notices, but is too tired to care, so she just let's me lightly squeeze.
>she turns around, so I quickly pull off and wait till the movement stops
>she's facing me now, so I have to resort to other tactics
>I place my hand on her left tit, the one farthest from the ground, and it is the best thing ever
>I get on my knees and let my raging hard on slip through my pajama pants
>I start poking her tits with it loving the way it feels.
>I pull away just in time to realise she had started to move back around, showing the amazing ass to me again.
>more groping, but this time I slowly but surely get her pants off of her
>her lacy underwear is making me erratic, so much that I begin to shake, almost making me cum on her butt
>I end up getting those off as well somehow, and go for the goal.
>I start rubbing my dick inbetween her soft pillowy buttcheeks
>the most ca$h shit of all time.
> I end up cumming on her ass, and squeeze her until about 4 am
That night I felt like God.
>most sexually depraved
>went on /b/
>touched girl's ass
>touched girls ass through pants
>hand was touching outside of pants
>under pants there was some underwear
>under underwear was the girl

>Most sexually depraved thing
>touched a piece of cloth

easy there tiger
i dont like your haircut.
I'm in tears god damn it. bravo anon
>10/10 tits
Nigga stfu
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>Went out with girl a bunch of times
>We didnt really get along outside of bed
>She was a a bit of a whore
>One night at the bar
>Found out she had slept with my sister and sisters bf
>She's acting like a bitch all night.
>Go home, start making out
>When we start I start telling her how much of a whore she is and that she's only good as a cum dumpster and that she's worthless.
>I was serious
>Wake up the next day and wondered if I was going to get arrested or something...
>Wondered if that was rape.
>Never heard from her again
Everybody knows it's not and talks about you.
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8/10 for the keks
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Ah, yeah. /b/'s /b/ack /b/aby.
> Be me 21
> At ex GFs place partying
> Her 14 year old sister gets wasted
> /party
> "can you drive my sister home anon?"
> why of course
> take her to make out spot on a hill
> start making out and playing with that pussy
> she wants it
> hit it in the back of my SUV and dip out
> drop her off at her parents

Kept hitting it on and off for years till she got fat and ghetto
>be me
>went to club
>drunk slut was dancing with a dude next to me
>heard him call her a cheating skank
>guess they broke up
>she turns around
>starts dancing with me
>grinding on me
>I'm okay with this but don't make any moves
>starts dancing with another guy but still grinding on my leg
>fog machine blasts everything for like 10 seconds, nobody can see shit
>go down and feel her back, reach under her skirt
>pulled her thong up hard as I could
>that's what she gets for being a slut
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>Woman says you sexually assaulted her
>People don't immediately take her side and demonize you without finding out if it's even true or not
Yeah I don't buy it.
>Be me 16 years old
>Virgin, made out with girls and grabbed a lot of ass and boobs but never had sex or anything
>Received first blow job in backseat of my car
>I was sitting up at a 90 degree angle in the backseat as she sucked my dick.
>JErks me off till I cum
>Came so hard I got cum on my own face.
Fucked up in all sorta ways
go to bed josh
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You should be put down.
well, i've got a friend that asks me to try to get ins with his girlfriends and see if they will fuck me or not. he says it's his way of singling out the cheating sluts from the loyal girlfriends. so far i've been successful about 4 times, he even paid me $20 to do it the first time.
Sometimes I just lazily blow my load into my underwear, even though I'm still wearing them. Pathetic. Oh well lolz
>be me
>one week ago
>fuck buddy randomly shows up
>I always yell at her for no reason
>never really knew why
>ALOT of beer
>be 4 hours later
>both of us hammered
>start feeling up
>start fingering her
>still fingering her
> notice she passed the fuck out
>be me
>inserts penis
>start fucking her
> 5 minutes go by
> she wakes up
>she starts freaking the fuck out
> accuse me of rape
> holy shit holy shit
> try to say it was mutual
> she's not havin' it
> she leaves

Did I just rape a bitch, anons?
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>>some kind of sexual assault
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most sexually depraved.
touched a butt
i was into my boss, so at the work christmas party when his wife passed out from drinking/weed brownie..I blew her husband and fucked him in the guest room.

This friend of a friend said he'd hook me up with like 4 grams of coke if i fucked him. When we got there he wanted to fuck on his daughter's bed, and for me to wear her school uniform. Did it.

i think thats it.
Please let this be true.

I know I am a bad person for enjoying this story but it's so hilarious I don't care.
Morally no. Legally, probably. Better start building a good alibi.

Why are so many of these stories just people dry humping? I feel like some of you don't know what "depraved" means.

>be me, age 14, living on family farm
>bored of jerking off, shits already gotten old
>decide to get head from a calf (baby cow for you city plebs)
>wait till parents are gone
>go to barn, whip it out, hold it in front of week old calf
>it starts suckin'

When a calf is sucking a teat, it nibbles on the teat to keep the milk flowing. Some of them also "bunt" from time to time, which is essentially headbutting the udder, again, to keep the milk flowing.

>teeth, ow, shit kinda hurts but who cares
>start cummin with the force of a thousand milk tankers
>double over and bend back, shoot calf in the face with cum by accident
>fall on my ass, roll around in pain for a while
>decide to only do that with more calm calves from then on

I did it on and off till I was 17. Shit was actually pretty good, although the aggressive ones would bite and bunt a lot, so had to avoid those. I stopped after getting my first serious girlfriend, even though she sucked at giving head.
Dude named Blaine I went to school with..

In our senior year after school hours he broke into the school server room and got on their computers. He watched all sorts of porn and jerked his gerk right there in the server room.

He wasn't aware that one of the computer teachers had a camera in there. (She was and still is a really good friend of my family. Told me the whole story)

I told the whole school. Kid got suspended for 10 days.

A year after graduation his nigger buddy was playing with a gun and shot him in the gut accidentally. He's died.

Nigger did about a year in jail and raps now. I still want to bang the computer teacher that is a friend of my family.
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I had forgotten how fucked up some of you guys are
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This. 100% true. AMA.
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>be me in 8th grade, middle school
>friend and I always touch and rub with two girls in our class
>gets to point where Jenna told me I don't have to ask
>grab her tits and ass regularly
>both our parents are strict, no girls or boys over
>make plan to meet in school basement at lunch
>rolling around on gym mats, making out and touching her everywhere
>takes her top off
>boner at max cap
>won't suck my off
>start forcing her, she struggles at first, but gives in
>blow load hard in her mouth
>bell rings
>clean up and put back on clothes, head to class
>security camera caught the whole thing
>called to office
>her parents and mine are waiting in there
>both had to take sex ed classes and talk to therapists
>worth it
Heres a juicy one
>Go on vacation with my rich friends family
>Me, friend, friend mom and dad, 3 older sisters and sisters boyfriend
>About 15 years old here
> We crammed into one room
>Friend and sister #one on 1 bed, mom and dad on another, sister boyfriend had to sleep in a sleeping bag and I slept on pull out couch with sister #2 because she isnt allowed to sleep with boyfriend.
>sister #2 9/10 solid
>Middle of night
>Turn and face her she is sleeping her face twoard me
>Pull out cock
>Literally stroking my cock, >6 inches from this girl
>She is breathing on me
> Was able to cum in a room of 6 people while they all slept
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>mfw reading this
Yes its very true. Oh and I just got a 2grand bill for a drunken hospital trip.

Okay yah im fucked bro
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anon you sick motherfucker
Same thing happened to me too!!!! Alittle different tho. we smoked weed and she passed out but like she was telling me before she passed out how she wanted to fuck. I was eating her out and fucking her and shit and she was apparently passed out but she was moaning super fucking loud. afterward she looked at me and told me i pretty much raped her. she didnt care to much cuz were dating though and were high as fuck.
>when drugs are involved its hard to not accidentily rape som1
at uni
niece gets wasted
drive her home
we fuck she blacks out
she is pregnant
she has the kid
she does not know it is mine and never suspected it
recently she visited and I was making cofee and there is no milk.. like fuck
black is best as long as it ain a nigger
get to dest she comes in and says I know it was you
I did not drink the last milk (she probably did)
she gives me blank stare and leaves

>tfw no greentex
I was a very horny teenager
I masturbated in my school's library, during biology classes, on the bus and I would grope women- students and mature alike- on the bus on my way to school every morning.
are there cliffnotes?
>Meet girl on omegle
>Get her skype
>Claims she has no limits sexually
>Decide to test her - have seriously dirty talk
>Find out she's in a room with her female friend passed out drunk
>Tell her to feel her friend up
>She tells me she's hairy
>Tell her to feel her friend's slit
>She tells me the friend is on her period
>Tell her to do it anyway, then lick her finger
>She does it
>Feel slightly ashamed, but not really
Subsequently, have got this girl to drink her own piss and stick her toothbrush in her ass before using them on her teeth. Good times.
This isn't even fucked up what are you fucking talking about
damn this just reminded me in like 5th grade i was "dating" this italian girl with a huge ass and she would let me squeeze it in class when no one was looking. nothing else happened and she was uggly but damn that ass no wonder im an ass man
>put my wiener in her butt
>was beta as fuck
You still are nigger.
I raped my girlfriend once. We were naked except she had panties on, we were getting dressed to go out or something and I just started kissing her and touching her. I tried to take her panties off but she wouldn't let me. She ended up on her stomach and I had her panties pulled down but couldn't get them off all the way. But I did have access to her asshole. So I stuck it in her ass, no lube. I know this seems slightly odd but she did the buttsecks a lot and it was pretty easy to get my dick in there. I fucked her and came in her ass. She was all like "you raped me." And I was like "are you gonna report me?" and she goes, "no, it was hot."

Other things were, there was this girl I was with for a really long time and we broke up. We had actually been breaking up and getting back together for a while at that point, but we lost our virginities to each other and were each other's first serious relationship so it was kind of a big deal. But after our talk we knew this was really it, we were really over. But she wanted me to stay over "one last time," so I did and we were having this slow, sad, emotional sex. It goes on for a while but I can't fucking cum, so eventually I just started pounding her. She starts bawling while I'm doing this but I just keep going and she doesn't stop me. I felt a little guilty afterward, but DOESN'T MATTER HAD SEX.

Another one, this one wasn't really that bad though, was another slow, emotional sex situation. I was with this really strange girl who would say odd things at odd times. In this particular case while I was fucking her she goes "oh yes, this is making love, this is making love! I wish we could stay like this forever!" And I go, "well I got some bad news for ya!" And then I pulled out and came in her eye. Just kidding, I came in the condom, but I think it's funnier the first way.
>be me
>17, meet gf of 1 yr at Dayton, FL for vacation
>No extra bed room for me
>me and gf sleep in sleeping bags on the floor
>be in same room as parents
>be midnight
>she gets on top of me, says "fuck me anon"
>fuck the shit out of her
>cum in her mouth with rage
>great sex, was scared as shit for her dad to wake up
>definitely worth it

fucking punk bitches, I don't know why but they just can't get enough

>be 6 out of 10 teenager
>pretty funny though so I often punch above my weight with a few girls here and there
>this one punk bitch is my friends cousin
>one day she gets my msn and messages me
>within half an hour it turns into msn-sex
>over the course of the next three weeks we start sitting next to each other in class and touching each other
>finger her on the bus ride home discreetly
>she gets a boyfriend the next day
>they break up like 2 months later
>she comes to my house that afternoon while my parents are away
>tells me sternly that it's only kissing, no sex
>be pretty certain that she's a fucking nympho and easly swayed
>mid-way through kissing just decide to take out my dick
>she stares at it for awhile, starts fingering herself and making me taste her fingers
>she sucks my dick
>later tells me on msn that she regrets what she did because she promised some guy in Perth that she wouldn't do anything more sexual until he moved to my town
>she gets over it and we continue to commit acts of foreplay and msn sex on and off for the next two years

That bitch seriously gives me some of my fondest memories of my teenagehood and I would love to meet her again one day, just for old times sake.
I don't even feel bad for him. he had an opportunity and blew it for no reason. does he have a mental problem?
Are you Japanese?

Naw i could care less about her I only hit her up when im desperate honestly.

But this bitch is crazy
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> bretty bad man
>be me 7th grade health class
>horny af
>puberty just starting to hit me
>Sort of popular back then
>friends with the one other popular guy in the class
>Two other hot chicks in class, become friends
>One white chick has blonde hair and the nicest fucking ass
>7th grade but it was fat as fuck
>Gets up to get some glue or shit at the back of the table
>Bending all the way over to reach across
>So horny and sporting a chub i kneel and press my dick into her ass
>mfw almost came my pants
>pretend i was just trying to get shit and get away with it
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was replying to anon who came on his grandma, what you've done is pretty fuckin tame compared to that shit
>be 7th grade
>guys are scooping others girls tiny tits
>never touched a girls tit before
>one day in class see my friend scoop one girl
>scoop her tits
>felt like a god
>someone puts their arm around me
>huge nigger teacher
>tells me I shouldn't be doing that blah blah
>red as fuck
>friends laugh at me
>2 years later he's my geometry teacher
This man is the new hero of /b/
I once viewed interracial pornography.
I went to DC in 8th grade.. Share pics?!
>8thgrade was 3 years ago
Yea I noticed once I posted but no I agree that pretty funny
yes just like a flashlight...
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Someone archive, this is gold.
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so glorious
I once facefucked my gf until she puked. I pretended I am sorry, but I actually just wanted to keep facefucking her and smear the puke all over her face.
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You sir, are an extremely fucked up human being. Mad props.
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nice work anon
fingered my sister when she was drunk
made her dog lick my dick
So many stories...
>2nd grade/8 years old
>random boner
>jr anon me pulls arms inside shirt
>slip hands inside waistband of my sweatpants
>play with boner in class
>pull boner out
>rub on cold metal of desk
>girl next to me gasps, see her turn away
that is funny
>offs himself
kills himself? I never heard that expression, where are you from?
10/10 would reinact
Uk fag here, pretty common expression here
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>like a flashlight
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Lol this except i was 16 and she was crying and it was so fuckn hot
ive brushed my hand up against my aunts ass cheek once as I hugged her... she seemed to not mind.. but then I reached for her feet and got ahead of myself as she was laying down she pulled away n says nothing... ggod she has a plump ass ...
this needs to be posted in ylyl thread.... someone save....

Fucking pressing the symbol key every fucking 20 characters just ain't worth it, man
Most sexually depraved things you've ever done
>touched a girl's ass
Yeah, that's impressive, anon.
Tits or gtfo
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That's hot. How old are you
>13 years old
>11 year old cousin from out of state staying
>let her have my room
>sneak in at night
>fondle what tits she has
>she wakes up
>show her some porn
>pull out my cock
>ask her to suck it
>says no
>ask her to touch it
>says no
>wait for her to fall back asleep
>rub cock on her face
>put her hand on it
>jerk off into her panties on the floor
>sleep the sleep of angels
how old were you?
I was into 20 YO when I was like 12-14 now I'm 23 I just like girls in my age range
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dear god anon what the fuck
20, I used to be able to do it more often when the one who is now 11 lived in the town I live in but they've moved a couple states away so I can only sniff my niece's panties when I visit them once or twice a year.
Well no, that might actually be funny. And ylyl threads are never funny anon.
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>be me
>17 already out of highschool (GED cause lazy)
>have qt 3.14 gf
>was a virgin before I met her so still in the stages where we fuck about 20 times a day
>shit is so cash
>one day we smoke some pot on her balcony
>she's wearing a red short skirt
>I lean over my chair and start making out with her
>initiate mojo.exe
>start to finger her
>she's moaning
>gently bites my lip
>"anon we can't today, I'm on my period"
>fuck I'm horny and high as shit
>I decide fuck it so I pick her up and take her to her room
>I told her a couple days before because she was asking about fantasys
>she has an incest fantasy which worked because we kinda looked like twins
>I have a rape fantasy
>throw her on her bed
>"anon I really don't want to I'm on my period
>"no shh it's okay it'll take like 6 minutes"
>she's struggling
>push up skirt
>stick my penile rocket into her wet silo
>thrusting hard and holding her hands down
>she's moaning but she's also saying no
>shit was so cash
>I came inside in like 4 minutes


>me and her walking down hill to go to the store
>she looks at me and she's smiling so evilly
>tells me "anon you practically raped me"
>my heart fucking stops because I'm sober now and I realized what I did
>"but it's okay anon, you got to fulfil your fantasy"
>mfw I still love this woman to this day and we broke up 3 years ago
felt my older cousins ass when she was passed out drunk too scared to do anything else
u mad, bro? UK a huge fucking place, can you tell me a region? I used to live in Yorkshire now I live in London, never heard of that
Dude, he beat the fuck out of him. 'Fuck' means semen, right?
>work at vacuum repair store that has a two way mirror from the workshop to the front of the store
>constantly jerking it to the hot milfs who come into the store
>coworker 7/10 girl is out cleaning one day
>bent over and on all fours vacuuming tight spots
>cum buckets

Did this shit the whole two years I worked there
i would suck your dick
so epic
>be me
>middle of summer few years ago
>dogsitting for uncle and aunt
>family is gone just girlfriend & I at parents place
>horny as fuck but girlfriend is not in the mood
>male dog is a golden lab and is constantly trying to lick me while I fap
>decide fuck it a hole is a hole
>lube put on condom and lube
>slowly push myself into the dogs ass
>notice girlfriend is watching wide eyed
>keeps fucking until I bust
>dog is completely chill the entire time this is going on and is licking the cum off my dick that is still there
>girlfriend never told anyone and has since brought up getting a dog of our own
>u mad, bro?

Holy fuck are you a 12 year old? Doesn't even make sense contextually
Considering I'm also from Yorkshire I think it's either that or you're clinically retarded
>8th grade
>after school, no parents
>jerking off sitting on couch watching porn
>female dog comes over and starts licking me clean
>freak out at first
>let dog go at it
>hard again
>play with dog's pussy
>finger dog
He beat the semen out of him? He must've been at one of those bdsm parties, then.

No, it smelled pretty fishy......
>be 23ish.
>lightly hitting on this 25ish chick at work.
>boyfriend goes away for a couple weeks, so I turn up the game.
>chick is a light weight, has kid from previous husband.
>be taking lunch breaks in my car in the parking lot at work. Stroking and fingering.
>third times a charm, she deepthroats my dick. Cum in her throat.
feels good man
>tell her I'm going to fuck her. She continues to suck me off for weeks.
>pants down, shes on her knees in a manager's office on night shift. cum buckets.
>finally get around to taking her home. Drives 40 minutes to her place. I'm tired as fuck. She deeps throats again. I cum. Tell her I'm done, she leaves. She gets nothing.

I hit on two other co-workers the following weeks and sleep with them. Almost on my third, but I got a new job and left. Also had a girlfriend the whole time.
>16 y/o
>Be at best friend's house
>Playing video games while his mother is drinking with her friends
>His mother is single
>The night passes by
>Mother's friends went away
>Gotta go in the bathroom
>I'm returning to his room, when his mother stops me and says: "Oh my, aren't you the cutest little thing?"
>She's fucking drunk
>I'm a little nervous but i reply:"You are so pretty too, for a 40's"
>"You think so? Well, If I was younger, like your 16, I would invite you to my room"
>Getting more nervous, but I respond: "I don't have a problem with that"
>"Come then"
>We went to her room, she locked right behind me
>She pushes me on her bed, starting taking off my pants, and doing me a nice blowjob and after a titfuck
>She had a 7/10 tits
>I cum inside her mouth, she moans and said:"Why did you came so soon, i wanted to enjoy a little more"
>Nervous as fuck, i say: "I'm sorry, I'm a little nervous"
>She starts mumbling and finally passes out drunk on the bed
>I get up, put my clothes on
>Get back to friend's room
>"What did took you so long?"
>"Your mother"
>She asked you to close the house?

Then, we get back playing video games. Next morning, his mother don't remember a thing, some sort of alcoholic coma. Since that, i tend to keep this a secret.
Sure did, she didn't say yes, so she didn't consent. Enjoy your prison time, horny fuck.
>"anon I really don't want to I'm on my period


also feelsbatman.gif
Happened to friend was legend all through school career
>be me 8th grade
>in science class learning bout reproductive system
>slip hand down pants
>start to jack It while teach shows us a diagram of vagina
>cum all in my pants
>go to bathroom to clean up
Apparently this fucking kid came and just told his friends about it
[alt-255] [alt-255] [alt-30] [enter] [alt 30] [alt 255] [alt 30]
>Be me a few years ago, had gf that was obssessed with me.
>Also have cute female best friend.
>Started growing feelings on her while on a relationship
>Relationship starts becoming boring, gf becomes less hornier.
>Growing closer to cute friend.
>Party with a few friends at friends house.
>Drunk, friend and another friend of hers drive me back home.
>All 3 in bed, third wheel friend falls asleep, talk for hours with friend, tell her I like her, she feels the same, we kiss, we start making out, we start fucking violently next to her friend.
>Wake her friend up, she already knew shit was going between us, goes back to sleep.
>fucked her brains out.
>next day with the same escence of another pussy get bj and sex from gf.

Im a huge dick, and karma wise im still paying for it, but it was worth.
I sniffed my moms panties. It smelled like piss and shit, but I still came.
fucking shit.

ya blew it
fuck you i can't even read this shit
yes, you did rape her.
also why fuck someone unconscious
I would have played with her so much more than that. Fucking love drunk bitches, any pics of her anon?

>also legendary thread
This is not sexual, nor is it depraved.
>be like 10-11
>family would go to water parks in summer
>ride slides, do kid stuff I guess
>would swim out to the deep end of the wave pool, near where the waves are originating
>wait for a big one with a bunch of other people to body surf
>purposely get behind a hot chick in a bikini
>'innocently' put my arms out like I'm trying to ride the wave and thats the only way I know how
>get fistfulls of dat ass
>they can't look around cause of the wave
>stay under for a few seconds after the wave passes
>come up and look all nonchalant as the chick looks around for a suspicious looking person who just copped the biggest feel
>swim up behind another hotty

Too bad it didn't work for tits, shit would have been cash. Still, worked out pretty well, never got caught, popped a lot of boners and felt a lot more ass.

Still ahve a thing for bikinis (seems strange that its cool to have such a thin piece of fabric covering the vag)

how are you from the UK and never heard the term "offing yourself"? I'm from neither Yorkshire or London and have lived or visited pretty much all of the UK including norn iron and its a commonly used expression everywhere.

where did you live before yorkshire, calais harbour?
>Be 22
>Move into a 5 bedroom house with 4 other dudes
>2 of them have gf's so 7 people living together
>Everyone is young so there is people over every night
>Huge parties on the weekends
>Have couches errywhere
>If anyone sleeps over, they help clean in the morning
>Always have people trying to go into my room and fuck or pass out
>One night there was a 8/10 chubby redhead, commence plumper pumper
>Her friend cock blocks me all night
>Eventually I don't see her around anymore
>Get rekt on MDMA and White Owl
>About 4 am i decide to crash
>Go to my room, BAM 8/10 redchub passed the fuck out in my bed
>Dear Diary: Jackpot
>Start playing with her tits and grabbing her ass
>Tottally passed out
>Eventually strip her naked and start to fuck her
>She start to move and make some sound
>About 10 minutes in she starts to moan and buck her hips
>Still not awake but she starts telling me to fuck her harder
>Not sure if she totally wakes up but I get her to fuck cowgirl and doggy style
>Next morning wake up and she is gone
>I dont see her for a month or so and when she shows up she is dating the guy who cockblocked me that night.
>She never mentions it again
She had oversised tits for her age, id say big B,
Today she must be sporting fomr fucking G's
I hope you are either quite young or trolling.
Wait a sec while I'm searching.

I remember this clearly as yesterday. It was my first titfuck, and as my very first fetish.

I'm still waiting for another opportunity to fuck with his mother, but to no luck so far.

I sneaked in her room when she was passed out drunk some other times. But only jerk off and cum on her tits.

Once, I was *this* close to get caught
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>calais harbour
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>summer goes on
>start trying to stick my dick in its pussy
>one day it slips in
>go nuts
>cum buckets
>continue this for the next 2 years
>did it in with parents in next room
>did it in back yard in view of neighbor's living room window
Story portrays thee as a bamf, but art thou of new fag decent cuz shit tier story is not even fucking green txt
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Same. Even when my roommates in the room. I dont get off on that shit, I just wanna cum
mah nigga
you are everything that is right in this world
>be 17 year old me
>know a guy in the neighborhood, used to shovel his driveway for moneyz
>start to experiment with drugs, learn he sells
>have a super hot friend, introduce them both so she can grab
>don't hear from him or her for 2 weeks
>her parents call me "anon have you seen anon? she hasn't come home in 2 weeks"
>go to guy's house to borrow yard tool, notice hes not around
>go in shed, theres the girl. she's drugged out of her mind
>anon, do you know where he is? he said he was bringing me food
>leave, he finds out i found her
>tells me he had been drugging her and holding her against her will while fucking her brains out and getting it on film for the 2 weeks.
>he releases her, she tells nobody of it
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>8th grade
>8/10 everything
>7/10 grills
>be nerg
>have an ass pushed up against my hand during math class
>continued happening throughout all my classes with all the girls
>pokerfaced it all
>continued happening through the year
>mfw I had no rise in boner power
>mfw I'm still virgin
>mfw I'm straight
Masturbated in detention after teacher left. Came on her chair and she sat in it when she came back. she was fucking sexy too.

Masturbated in the cafeteria because I saw some hot girls thong sticking out. Got caught by my friend though he was a bro and didnt tell.

Jerked off behind my friends back to a picture of his sister while he was playing Twisted Metal 2.

Came in same firneds moms underwear so she'd wear it.

Licked friends moms pussy while he was sick with flu.

Stuck my moms dildo up my ass and masturbated on her bed.

Jerked off to parents having sex.

Jerked off to neighbors moms pictures in her room with her dildo and panties.

I think there's more but eh.
I saw vacuum and assumed that you stuck your dick in it.
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Donnt say sorry, fuck her. She liked it no matter how much she tries to deny it. Stand your ground and cram your dick in her/
neither, okay maa friendo, I'll ask around my biddies, I donno, just never heard of it
I don't know I'm not a chick, tbh I'm 80% sure she was lying because she didn't want to fuck. Oh well.
I haven't seen her in years, though.
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Sorry for the low res
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>>Be me, 8th Grade, 14
>>pretty average, dress slightly nicer than everyone else (hipster piece of shit)
>>have friend named Sam
>>Sam is 8/10 punk chick all around
Not illegal if they're clothed you should just post a pic of her
bro, bro, bro... bro
>green text bro
bro, brits are polite they would say he committed a suicide, or killed himself if not so polite, but offed oneself... what is this? I check dictionary and then urban dictionary they need a new entry
saved, don't care. will fap later, thanks anon
>9th grade
>strip poker with some hot ass twins
>me and best friend rig game
>bitches dont even poker
>get them naked
>feel on some thighs, bitches werent up for any more than that
>go back to my house
>hanging out
>start groping tits
>girls complain
>keep doing it
> be me
> be 18
> ask gf if she wants to fuck
> she says she is tired, but that i could fuck her
> i told her to just to go to sleep
> i stick it in her ass while she is sleeping
> she wakes up immediately
> im pounding that ass
> she starts to tell me that its hurting her
> i be like "im almost done"
> she starts crying after a while
> mfw i fucked her for another 10 minutes
> came all in her ass
> i still get off to that and that was like 5 years ago
> be fiction
>mfw fiction
not bad, anon
le faggot! listen here, I'm just asking which region, okay? UK has 20 something dialects, it is VERRYY fucking possible that this use of word is from a specific area.. .. mmaa maaa contextuallly ma ma I know my shit okay, wish you the same
well, have a good day
Literally read it exactly like you would greentext. Are you fucking retarded or something?
that expression is used everywhere English is spoken, you're just sheltered
My story was totally true, whenever I go to my sister's house I go in the bathroom her daughters use and jerk off with their panties.
I'm in America and that shits common as fuck here too, the other anon is just an autist
You played the scoop game in middle school too huh? shit was cash
I bet you ejaculated in your pants while you were punching him, faggot
Same, which school did you go to?
>be me
>barack obama
>shoesseo is tired is he not
>literally inherently kesha analysis
>what for string if you voiture
>ebola for malaysia that parking lot
>mfw imagery argued facts
>gf wont have sex
>takes it in the pooper though
>parents overprotective helicopters
>wont leave us in same room alone together
>one night laying on couch watching movie and spooning
>gf's mom leaves room to take shower
>start fucking gf's ass while spooning under covers
>mom comes out in fucking stealth mode, never hear her
>cock buried up gf's ass
>watch the last 2/3 of Gladiator with my cock buried in her ass
>mom gets up to go to bathroom at credits
>5 strokes, come buckets
>gf had big wet spot on her ass, covered it by spilling water on couch
thank you
our scoop game was different. you know those black guys who had indiana jones and the crystal skull shaped heads? that scoop from the back of their heads was called the scoop. and that's what we scooped.
you overreacting children kill yourselves
Me and my friends always called it dump truck for some reason. Idk why, you act more like an excavator or something...

top kek
>pervert general
All i have done is fucked in the same room as people sleeping, very mundane stuff.
top kek
That's a piece of shit move. But hey, the whore could'be said no so it's not all your fault
Dude, Sam in Danny Phantom was a goth chick you retard.
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Story is true but the names are changed.
>Okay, it was the day of the famous Woodstock concert (yes, it was that long ago)
>I was going to college in NYC and had just broken up with a girl.
>My friend's parents had a small cabin in the town of Woodstock so about 9 of us went - mostly couples - late teens.
>We did not go to the concert - we didn't want to do what everyone else was doing.
>For a change we didn't do any drugs.
>We went in the woods and went skinny dipping in a river.
>A couple in their 40's came upon us, took off their clothes and joined us.
>That night we all slept on the floor.
>I slept next to "Sue," the gf Bob.
>Everyone asleep but me.
>I felt weird being the only guy without a Girl so I started feeling Sue's body.
>She thought I was Bob and started kissing.
>We started fucking and she realized who I was.
>She kept on going.
>We did it twice
>Next day we went to town and walked in the woods.
>Every time Bob had his back turned we were hugging kissing and petting.
>Bob never noticed but everyone else did.
>They thought it was great.
>Three weeks later I had an operation.
>I got myself invited to Sue and Bob's apartment to recover.
>First day I was there, Sue and Bob went to work.
>Mid day, Sue showed up and without saying a word started kissing, and taking my clothes off.
>We fucked, smoked dope and did it some more.
>Not a word was said.
>She left and went back to work.
>Yah, it hurt where the incision was, but hay...
>This went on for about two weeks.
>Each time she would not say a word.
>Then I was recovered and left.
>She left Bob and moved in with me
>I nearly married her.
>She asked me twice and I didn't want to.
>I asked her three times and she didn't want to.
>Still love and she the same, but marriage was not to be.
We never did go to the Woodstock concert.
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>be me
>got a qt gf
>we mess around and stuff
>be eating her ass out
>I hear my name being called and about 10 people applauding
>my friends in the audience
>run round the curtain
>walk out on stage
>shake hand with the principle and take the mic at the podium
>mfw i had my tongue a good two inches up my gf's ass no more than ten seconds before I gave the whole school a speech on the importance of teen abstinence
No joke. 100% true.
stfu you fucking shitstain

Because licking shit is heaps cool right? Lmao queer
dont let them talk shit anon
if she fucked you she would have fucked any other random dude
prolly did you bro a favor by letting him know the truth
Yeah, dude was kind of retarded. We used to call him Sloth and he thought it was funny
> Be me 17
> Its night and no one is still home
> Been looking at beast porn for a while
> Horny as fuck
> Get our pet male pug
> Have him eat rice out of my tounge while I french kiss him
> Start rubbing his little pug cock while I fantisize about sucking it
> cum buckets
Rice..... Kek
>be me
>18 yo fag
>went with some classmates to highschool grad trip at cabo san lucas
>3 girls be like 8/10
>hanging out at pool with them, see girls in bikini want to fuck them hard.
>Me as beta fag cant do any move
>wait until night
>we went to restaurant then the beach and drunk tequila and beer
>Me feeling a little bit drunk make up an excuse to go and sleep early than everyone.
>Go back to room
>Girls room is next door to mine
>Jump the balconny window to outside and then get inside the other room by the window.
>Sniff bikinis and panties, masturbate with them and cum on the bottom of the panties and bikinis
>Go back to my room trough the balconny window
>Go inside my room
>Sat on my bed when suddendly phone rings
>hotel security ask if someone got inside my room trough my window
>I reply: yeah it was me, sorry i left a cap drying on my balconny and it fell down somehow so I jumped the balconny picked it up and went inside my room
>Also I add: Im drunk sorry i have to sleep
>they believe me

And thats one of the many bullets ive dodged, there are more stories like this.
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Tits or gtfo
New Britain (CT)
homunculus detected.
I was around 20...not sure...i drink a lot
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I had my not blood related cousin on skype, convinced her to try on just about everything in her wardrobe, to model it all for me doing catwalk spins and everything, then to remodel sans bra and panties because "your natural figure" and "panty lines ruining the fit" all the while beating off outside of frame. She's 16, I'm in my 20s.
Well I killed a green ape (shotgun to the dome.) in africa, fucked its corpse (still warm.) , and spread A.I.D.S. to America. Your welcome faggots
what kind was that of third world pussy
>be me
>be 13
>have a friend named stacey
>she is also 13
>she always liked boys things
>stacey kickboxes and shit like that
>still a 8/10
>one night stacey sleeps over
>parents are ok with this because they know what kind of a girl stacey is
>spend the night watching movies
>nothing special happens
>we decide to go to bed
>i get in bed and stacey gets in bed with me
>i didnt excpect anything from her because she was always so boy'ish
>laying next to eachother
>just talking
>she says she is going to sleep and turns around
>i turn around to
>about 15 minutes later she turns around again and starts feeling my boxers
>kinda pulling them towards her
>so i turn towards her
>she sticks her hand in my pants and starts giving me a handjob
> i am stunned at this moment because i have never had someone touch me there
> she grabs my hand and sticks it in her pants
>i start to feel her vagina
>dont know were to touch or were to stick it in
>i cum
>she turns around again excpecting me to clean the mess up and come back to bed
> i do
>kinda happy and shocked i return to my bed
>she wants to fucking cuddle
>i dont fucking cuddle
>turn around again with my back against hers
>she didnt like that
>she left the house as soon as she woke up the next day and i didnt hear from her for a month
>mfw she calls me after a year asking me to hang out
>mfw the same thing happens
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>pothead blowjob
>dry mouth
I meant fleshlight, faggots
i didnt hear from her for a year *
>>they can't look around cause of the wave
I got 2 stories, one where 6yr old and i am 14
and one where im 14 and cousin is 18 asleep.
Which first anons?
I personally believe you, but the damage is done and now the 4chan gods are going to buttfuck your grandmother's soul for your mistake
the first one
18 year old
Not cool bro, my g-ma is dead and the other one has Altzimers. The dead one preferred bunmake and the other one won't remember the train 4chan ghosts run on her 2 mins after it happens.
>same thing happens
fucking lold
y-you're stupid
i laugh at the visual you created, good job anon
Seriously?!? Bunmake?!? I fucking hate the iphone
lucky bastards. there's like 2 punk chicks in my school. only one is even remotely bangable.
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Take girlfriend put collar on her
Take her outside and cut branch off tree
Shave down branch with knife
Stick hook in her ass connect to ceiling and her wrists
Make chain tight so she must stand on tip toes
Whip her with switch chained up until she cries
Will post pic. soon
Also, would anyone like to hear more stories?
Can't believe I did that and no one noticed, that was awesome.
Umm guess Ill post this one. Junior year in high school in some computer class i forget what it was called there was this super hot cheerleader chick that didnt seem like she belonged in the class because she was so hot. This one day she wore tight tight yoga pants to school one day and shut off her computer early and just stood up in front of her computer. I was positioned to where I could see her ass directly and I stared for a good 5 minutes while i stroked my dick through my sweatpants and came lol im pretty sure the kid next to me knew i was jacking off. I jerked off in 7th grade in class when it was dark too. But I've had sex but it was only a few occasions with one girl other than that I was too sexually awkward to actually do anything when a girl made a move on me
the hoard of replies to this makes it even funnier. comedy gold
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Okay let's see....

>early high school
>Staying at friend's house for the day, mostly snowed in
>he goes to walk his dog, be back in 10 mins
>as soon as hes down the driveway i bolt upstairs to his parents' bedroom
>heart is beating light speed
>locate his mom's dirty laundry hamper inside walk in closet
>find sweaty bra on top, smell it, rub boner on inside through sweat pants
>sort through until i find a pair of dirty laced panties caked in white secretions
>make sure friend isn't back yet
>duck inside closet and lick panties clean while jerking off
>wear on my face as i cum
>suddenly i hear the back door open
>panic and bury panties in hamper without drying them or anything
>shove cum covered dick in sweats and run out into hall bathroom
>give myself a little time then go down
>business as usual
>don't feel even a little bad
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And that's what'll make the buttfucking depraved and worthy of the next incarnation of this thread
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I do this shit all the time with my friend's 15 year old sister.
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teh fook?
Me, 8 years old, girl wants to be a member of my club. She has to take off her panties and give me a lap dance. All the girls in neighborhood want to join. Like a dozen girls. I am in heaven. One last girl wants to join. Pulls down panties for me. Has a huge black bruise right above her pussy. I tell her that her pussy is too ugly to be in my club. She gets mad. Tells her mom. All the moms like have a meeting. Parents all learn I have been getting their daughters to get naked and dance for me. Confront my mother. I get switched real good. Stripes last 3 days. Totally worth it.
>Meet girl on tinder
>6.5/10 at best and black
>She sends me a few nudes, not great but not awful
>Parents find out what she was doing and freaks out and threatens to call the cops.
>Convince her I can send to every facebook in existance.
>Say I will if she doesn't cut her nipple off on skype
>She does
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This ones kinda funny, although not really messed up..

> be 16/17
> have 8.5/9 out of 10 gf
> gf is taking ages on computer
> horny on my bed
> walk up to gf then unexpectedly cum on her arm
> and face...
> sit laughing my head off for about 10 minutes
> finally catches on to what has happened
> gf starts crying... dafuq.exe
That's cold blooded m8 !
>be me, about 34 years old
>in a band with carlos and some other guys
>carlos has a tard daughter
>carlos's girlfriend tells the band girls that tard is sexually insatiable
>masturbates inappropriately
>tard is 28 and still a virgin
>be at band practice
>carlos brings the tard daughter
>carlos is a drunk btw
>drinks a 12 pack in a two hour practice
>band aint going nowhere
>carlos brings tard two wine coolers, flavored kool aid
>jamming out to freebird
>guitar player gives tard a cowbell and a drum stick
>tard hoots and beats cowbell while drinking wine coolers
>smiles stupid when guitar player says shes in the band
>hour two starts, and its hot in the garage
>tard halfway through second kool aid
>take shirt off
>tard stops whacking cowbell and stares
>play long ass song
>guitar player has steve vail moment
>three minute song lasts 12 minutes
>tard watching me with hungry look
>tard puts drum stick between crossed legs
>mfw nobody can see tards front but me
>tard starts rubbing self with drum stick

The Altzimers cunt will love it, with her wrinkled tits flopping all over as the 4chan ghost shove him 17" cock inside her roast beef, 7children having pussy. It'll make the curls fly off her head.
got anymore?
got one similar
>be at dorm room of my main squeeze
>shes on the rag
>we cant
>well yes we most certainly can
>watching netflix, start rubbing her clit
>instantly she is hornier than ever because period
>go into bathroom
>she drops down and starts giving me head next to the trash while she takes her tampon out and tosses it
>into the shower we go
>in goes the dick
>fuck her against the wall until she cant even stand
>lets try something different
>pull dick out
>press against ass
>press harder
>dick goes straight in, to the balls
>"ouch it hurts oh god oh god it hurts"
>take dick out
and that kids is how I got a UTI
>12 yo distant cousin comes home
>developed as fuck, tits too big for this body
>get drunk with my uncle in the kitchen
>go to the bathroom and see 12 yo cousin sleeping on the couch, because it's hot as hell
>she's alone, wearing a mini-shorts and with her butt raised
>holy crap
>back to the kitchen, says to my uncle that i need to crap
>he baits it and goes to sleep
>i back to the couch and start touching her ass, tits and pussy
>shorts is too tight, can get it off or put hands inside
>same with her bra
>go to sleep
>next day "oh shit, i am a fucking retarded"
>get hard every time i remember that
>tard honks like a dying goose
>honks covered by cymbal crashes
>they think tard is singing along anyway
>tard has light coat of sweat
>tard is ready for love
>band guys go into the house to smoke a joint
>im ready to go
>guitar player needs to learn a new scale anyway
>tard comes out
>stares at me like im a happy meal
>says "you are pretty"
>tard is shy
>walk over to tard
>"you play a mean cowbell, tard"
>tard isnt name, but none of your business
>tard blushes
>hug tard to make her night complete
>tard hugs me with one arm
>other hand goes to my cock
>cock springs into action
>tard pulls away and looks at me as cock hardens through jeans
>tard starts to make grunting noises
>tard knows whats up
>look tard in eyes
>"does that excite you"
>tard doesnt speak, just nods head
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>i find a pair of dirty laced panties caked in white secretions
>lick panties clean

Fucking disgusting
>take tard by hand and lead her between garage and house
>its like three feet apart
>band shitfaced stoned in house
>start feeling up tards tits
>tard starts hooting
>"shhhh, tard, they wouldnt understand if they caught us"
>tard quiets down
>move down and stard rubbing big tard ass through jeans
>tard loses it, grabs tits
>tard quiets down
>move hands to jeans button and unsnap
>start rubbing forest that is tard mound
>>tard gets really quiet
>move hands down, find tard clit
>tard starts panting in excitement
>mfw it feels like im fondling a farm animal
>slip finger into tard
>finger hurts, fingerpicking bass makes fingertips raw
>tard soaking wet
>put hand on tards neck, tard turns head to catch my finger in her mouth
>sucks on finger
>pull mom jeans down to tard knees
>they must have bathed this tard recently since i dont smell anything
>unbutton jeans
>cock springs out
>cock dont care that its about to fuck tard pussy, man
>tard still sucking finger
>move other hand down to tard slit
>tard is wet as fuck
>use hand to guide cock into tard
>hard to put it in but i do
>tard gasps but keeps sucking finger
>start slow fucking tard from behind
>two minutes later tard starts to honk like she did with the cowbell
>almost there but lost it
>keep pumping this tard with both hands on waist
>tard doing a good job of keeping quiet
>about to cum but then tard starts to honk again
>fuck, are they that stoned?
>start really pounding tard
>tard making weird dying noises
>blow load into tard puss

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first cum first serve i guss
>Be me 14
>in MOTHERLAND for sum vacation
> be staying at 26yr cousin's home
>has 2 kids, 11 year old annoying fag
>6 year old loli god
>perfect ass
>flat chest with nice nips
>best voice in the world
>one day i stay at aunt's house
>cousin brings kids over and chills
>havent masterbated for two weeks
>"Onii-tan, where to?"
>"guy things, washroom."
>go to washroom
>start jerking two week old sausage
>already precum
>lil cuz comes in
>i got the precum
>she just stares open mouthed
>i stare and more precum comes out
>she giggles
>more precum, dripping on ground now
(she said the equivelant of onii=chan in my language but ill use that as a replacement(
>mutter stupid shit like "well im older than your brother hehe"
>she goes to hold it
>i feel the magic cumming
>push her out washroom and aim in toilet
>greatest load NA
>walk back to room where the 3 of us were chillin
>older cuz playing just cause 2 on my laptop
>literally absorbed in our western non PS2 tech
>i start grabbing loli's ass
>poke her with my new tent that came back not 10 minutes after
>she giggles and gives me (pic related) a look
>i giggle

basically flash dick at her a bunch of times
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