Story time /b/.
>be a freshman in highschool
>30 minutes until school's out.
>I'm excited to go home and do god knows what
>remember I meet my friends every friday after school for "study group"
>groan because, for some reason, I don't want to be with my friends, I just want to go home.
>We meet up after school
>walk to starbucks a block away (because this is 'merica)
>hungry, so we go get Carl's Junior
>get a tray of fries and devour it
>constantly looking at the clock, thinking I'm missing something at home
>call dad to come pick me up around 4pm
>"hey, don't use that word."
>spend rest of day with friends at starbucks, wasting time when we were supposed to be doing hw.
>we bullshit and talk about what the fuck ever.
>dad shows up
>I pack my shit and get up to meet him at the door
>he takes me to the nearest chair outside and sits me down
>he crouches down in front of me
>he's in tears
>hundred thoughts go through my head
>mom's been away for a few days to make holiday cookies with grandparents 100's of miles away
>*oh god, did mom die in a car accident?*
>*what the fuck am I and my family going to do if mom's dead?*
>*fuck, what the fuck is going on?*
>"Your sister committed suicide today, Anon"
>I'm in disbelief
>How can this be real?
>I literally fall out of the chair into my dad's arms
>I didn't even notice that my uncle was there.
>I walk with my face buried in my dad's jacket, unfeeling.
>My uncle guides us to his car
>my face is buried in my dad's jacket the entire ride home
>I remember every bump on the carride home
>face is dry, thinking *how can I not be crying about this?*
>Finally, after thinking about how much of a shitty person I am, it finally hits me
>My sister is dead
>Let loose some tears
>only a few and then get ahold of myself
>it isn't real yet
>open the door (no one walked the dinosaur)
>Look to my right and my cousin (who I had admired my entire life) is wheaping on my couch
>look to my left and my uncle has just gone to console my aunt in the kitchen
>I go and sit by my cousin
>Still not really real
>I put my arm around her
>she cries into my chest (she's three years older than me, so it's a completely new experience)
>When she calms down, for the moment, I get up
>I go into the hallway and see a picture of me and my sister from years ago
>I lose it
>Cannot contain my tears
>So many I didn't even know I had that much water in me
>this is just the beginning
>I take the picture and go back into the living room
>look to my right and see my dad going into the garage
>I stand there and watch
>he opens the door, then quickly shuts it again and breaks down into more tears
>I can't stand the sight and turn to go sit by my cousin again
>I sit on the couch, look at the picture, and lose myself again
>all my cousin can do is hug me and wheap as well
>the picuture shows me and my sister smiling, unknowing how much pain the two of us would be in four years later.
>the picutre is from a cruze we went on as a family back in 2003
>I look up from it and back into the kitchen
>my dad is going to brave going into the garage once more
>he's gone for about a minute, then comes back crying
>I finally notice that there are red and blue lights outside
>Police have been here longer than I
>I finally gain composure (as much as is possible at the moment)
>My dad says that, when my mom gets back from my grandparents' house, there will be a whole new wave of crying
>I go into my room and call my friend David
>I tell him that my sister just killed herself
>he can't even contemplate what to say
>"Dude, I am so sorry..."
>"I should probably get back to my family"
>"alright man. If you need anything..."
>I hang up
>I go out of my room and just wait for my mom and the rest of the family to show up
>Sitting on the couch with cousin, dad's sitting across from us
>managed to crack some half-hearted jokes while the paramedics in the garage take my sister's body
>Hear weak knock on the front door
>I go to open it
>It's my mom
>She literally collapses into my arms, dropping her bag on the front porch
>my grandparents are behind her, crying
>The site of my mother crying brings a whole new level of grief
>My other aunts and uncles have arived as well
>While my mother is being tended to by the 30+ people now at my house, one of my cousins and I sneak away to my room
>this cousin and I have been best friends our entire lives
>always able to make each other laugh
>we sit in silence in my room
>somehow, start cracking jokes and genuinely laughing
>not just half-hearted laughing like with my dad, full-on, chestfull laughter
>it lasts a long time and we cry again while hugging
>Rest of night is a blurr
>fast forward a few days
>at my sister's viewing
>I can't even look at her, too scarred
>finally work up the nerve
>she's pale, but still pretty
>I just stand and look at her
>Looks like she's sleeping, but I know better
>Lots of grief, more than I've ever felt before, but I'm still waiting to wake up
>I kiss her on the cheek, then go sit by my mom
>she can't even stand
>I just sit with her, along with three others, and we all cry together
>fast forward to the funeral
>picture of my sister in front of funeral home
>funeral directer insisted on reading something religious, even though we told him my sister wasn't religious
>amazing grace played
>the cousin that makes me laugh is sitting by me
>we joke about how amazing grace plays at every funeral ever
>stop crying and start laughing together at my sister's funeral
>we're separated and start crying again
>my rock of an older brother reads a poem he wrote for her, the whole time crying
>how can these people, who are supposed to know everything, be so broken?
>after the funeral, forced to shake hands with hundreds of people I don't even know
>"I'm sorry for your loss"
>"Who the fuck even are you?"
>I'm supposed to say, "thank you" or some shit
>fuck you, I stare at the floor and cry
>they shake my elbow
>afterward, I started asking questions like, "why would God allow this to happen?"
>I switch between atheist, agnostic, chrsitian, agnostic, atheist, agnostic, chrsitian, agnostic, and finally settle on atheist
>am now an atheist in 2014
>saw Frozen in theaters with the cousin that makes me laugh, recommended by the cousin that was crying on the couch
>liked it because of suprise ending, but nothing TOO special
>talked it up to everyone
>I download illegal movies a lot, but I insist on buying this blu-ray
>watch it again and again
>can't figure out why, all of a sudden, I love it so much
>keep watching to figure it out
>30+ times, I realize
>Frozen is porn for me
>porn is a visual/auditory stimulous that fulfills a need you cannot fulfill youself
>examples: food porn, earth porn, sexual porn, etc.
>What was Anna able to do that I couldn't?
>save her sister
>wish I could hug my sister like pic related
>I think I watch this movie (for the 43rd time now) to pretend like I was able to save my sister too
>people make fun of me for loving that movie
>I don't even care
>If I hadn't gone to that stupid-ass "study group" with my friends after school, maybe I could have been home in time to save her
>I live with that every day
So, /b/, what movies impacted you in this way or similar?
Well OP... fuck... I know words don't do anything for you in apology. But I do have great compassion for you. Even in this godforsaken part of the Internet you fully deserve that.
I never had anything as awful as that happen to me. All I've got is when I first saw fight club I was so intrigued by it because of the friendship the narrator was able to have briefly in ignorance. It impacted me so much I developed a multiple personality disorder that took me over 7 years to recover from, and still am.
It isn't necessarily similar, but I think the emotions are at the same level. Mental illness is something that gets overlooked so much, but impacts so many people. Best of luck to you, Anon.
You deserve compassion op. Sorry for your loss.
Last movie that really affected me was clerks 2, just because I could relate strongly to the themes of growing older and finding happiness and satisfaction with what you have in life. Lame but it got me in the feels.
She was dating some guy (one of many) and he told her he was leaving her for some other chick.
She freaked and texted him that, by the time he got to the other girl's house, she'd be dead.
He turned around immediately, came back, and found her hanging in the garage by a makeshift noose made from power cables.
One of my cousins (who lived 12 houses away at the time) was called because our next-door-neighbor heard someone scream like a little girl.
Dude got her body down, my cousin showed up, and kicked his ass the fuck out of our house.
She also suffered from Bi-Polar disorder and had attempted suicide multiple times before.
She was 9 years older than me. I think that actually made it harder. I was the baaby of the family, my brother and sister were so much older than me (9 years and 6 years older) and I thought of them as impenetrable. To see them torn down like that added a whole new level of shit to the otherwise shitty situation.
Damn, I know there's nothing that can remove that "what if" about the study group. I feel ya man.
I had a friend commit suicide about a moth ago. Fuck it pisses me off so much that I'm never gonna get to chill with him or find out what was going on. I've never known true regret until now.
People kept telling me (though, it never helped) it is NOT YOUR FAULT. For all you know, being there would have done nothing and you would have been the one to find their body. The 'what if' will ruin you; don't let it.
>Come to terms with her death
I'm still waiting to wake up...
However, just like anything else in life, you just add it to your list of shit that's happened and you keep chugging forward.
you may have stopped her that time .. but what makes you think she wouldn't have done it another time??
my girlfriends dad shot himself in the head .. she crys about it once in a while and wonders if she could have stopped him cause he called her the night before and said he loved her and her brothers and her mom.
she said she knew something was up.
My older brother confessed to me that he wanted to commit suicide. Right there and then I told him, you better fucking not. And hugged each other for a good long 3minutes or so.
I assured him things will work out. Just don't stress out too much. ANd its all over some stupid bitch who is playing games with him.
I fucking hate her, he doesn't want to leave her cause he says he loves her plus he doesn't want his son to grow up both with his parents split.
of all of the places that this happened was in a toilet stall at a nightclub.
And yeah true, if she has a previous history of suicide attempts, one day she'll succeed . shit Sucks
OP... I just couldn't start typing until now (like several minutes after). I'm sorry for your loss, and hope that you're ok. I've faced the death of other relatives, but so far no one close; I've always feared that moment, when death takes the life of someone I love... will I cry? Will I feel nothing? Most of the time I've been just like "damn... well... what's next? what should we do?".
But a sister. That's a whole other story. I once had a nightmare. It was so fucking real (I even remember that before waking up I went to sleep in my dream), and upon opening my eyes a tremendous feeling of emptyness and loneliness filled me. I was silently crying... not yet aware that it was all a dream. Then I just heard my sister scream "mom", and I immediatly ran towards her and hug her crying. It was weird as fuck for her, as I never do that kind of stuff...
Seriously? Wow. That's intense.
OP I had a crush on a girl when I was a sophomore. Had a few kisses held hands once she was amazing. Then we got into a fight real bad and I told her I fucking hated her. Not true but I was really mad. A couple of months later she died in a car accident. The last text i got from her was an hour before hand asking if she could come over and talk. I never replied. I never fucking replied. And now... Everyday I look at that text on my old phone. Wishing I wasn't an ass. Wondering what if.
my brother in law killed himself and my whole family was torn. but the only time i cried was out of anger that the fucker did that to my sister. its one of the most selfish acts out there because you think your life is so bad that you will literally rip your families hearts out. worthless thing to do.
Someone who really wants to kill themselves would try again even if you managed to stop her that one time OP, sometimes for some people they just see death as a better alternitive to living and while its hard on you and you're family atleast you know she isnt suffering anymore
Oh, and as to the movie.... I guess I haven't found one yet.
Maybe "Catch Me If You Can", because it made me realize that instead of suicide (I used to think a lot about that) I can just disappear and be whatever I want, even though I'd be lying. I guess it kinda' depicts what I feel in terms of my interactions with people in general; most of the time I feel like I'm lying to them, and that I'm just a big-fat sack of nothing... I can have almost perfectly normal social interactions, they're just not real. At least to me.
This. SJW's, the media, etc. would hate it though. I think it would help us explore a part of the human psyche we try to hide away far too often; our fear, yet overbearing intrigue, that we can play a part in our own mortality.
Sorry, no nude pics of my sister. I'm sorry you felt the story sucked, I've never actually told it in full before (in fact, I left out quite a bit of detail). However, this is a picture of me
Hey anon, I have to say you have major balls opening up like this on here. I appreciated your story. You just can't take people for granted. It was awesome that you found that shred of optimism throughout though. Keep on keepin' on.
A bit of a happy ending...
>5 + 1/2 years ago
>brother comes over
>talks to my mom in her room for a while
>they come out
>"How would you like to be an uncle, Anon?"
>"Are you serious?"
>We hug for a solid minute.
>4 years later I have twin nephews and a newborn niece.
>I see them every week
>they call me "Uncle B"
>I'm their favorite person alive
>every once in a while, i think about how my sister would have love them to death.
Thank you everyone. Even the people who posted negatively. My goal was to get my experience out there and maybe show people that they aren't alone in the shit that happens in life and that, even in the worst circumstances, you CAN make it through.
Yeah, she had tried many times before. No one liked the guy she was dating. We knew he was giving her drugs, which didn't help her condition at all, but there was nothing we could do about it. Bi-Polar Disorder plus drugs and a break up do not make for a good combination.
Very sorry for your loss. I absolutely HATE going through the loss of someone close to me because I feel like they never had the chance to see me at my best. They won't see me when I'm successful, or at my wedding day, or visit the first house I own. I want people close to me to see me when I'm in my prime. And sometimes we get robbed of that
Marley & Me.
Yeah, I know, a dog movie. Only thing to make me weep uncontrollably like a little faggot. The dog I grew up with died of cancer in 2011 while I was taking care of him alone for the week, so watching that movie just brings it all back for me.
I'm not sure how to feel knowing that I have more compassion for a dog than any of my family that have died.
There was this kid, Michael.
Happiest, funniest, friendliest kid.
I remember I made a bet with him about this cup he made out of loose leaf paper. He folded it many times, and betted me about how long it could retain water. I won... Anyway, he just could cheer up anyone. Didn't seem to have a care in the world, all that jazz.
Hung himself with extension cord in his closet.
They found him, still barely conscious by some miracle, but there was no saving him, they had him on life support for a few days before pulling the plug.
Of all the things everyone else would remember about him, aside from my personal accounts, I would remember him looming a little after conversations... That point where most people just go aobut their business. He'd just sort of... wait? As if he was waiting for me or someone to say something he needed to hear, wanted to hear. Maybe he wanted someone to just level with him, to tell him it's okay, whatever he's going through, I don't know. Maybe I'm over thinking the small things. Or maybe I just ignored it like everyone else.
I cried like a little bitch when i read that book/saw that movie. We had to put my dog down two years after this story because of cancer. Dog deaths are just awful. I think it's because they're such innocent creatures.
The people who cheer people up are usually the ones in need of help the most because when they send off such positive vibes it's nearly impossible to think that they need positive vibes sent back.
That's usually the case, I agree.
It's just that lingering thing he did... That little sign that he just wanted something back, you know? He didn't just /stand/ there but just for those few seconds he would sort of be there. Not in a weird creepy way a some would expect.
I know what you mean. It was a big sign of needing something back. He didn't want to walk away without getting the pat on the head or the 'everything is okay' or the 'you're apart of the group'.
Nah, I actually did have a thing for her for the LONGEST time, but I felt like that wasn't really important for the story I was trying to tell. I HAVE felt her up a few times, though.
Yes it really is and no you can't just shrug off that thought because 'lol it's4chanamirite'. There is something really wrong with you socially mainly possibly even a little mentally if that is your first thought.
OP.... This is 4chan /b/... Everyone makes fun of mentally handicap people and loves watching necrophiliacs do their thing, but this... I dont know I feel aweful for you. I mean... I literally dont have words
Is that what he really wanted? Don't you think you're over simplfying it? I think it's a telling sign, but I don't think reassuring him all the time with positive cliches would have really helped. I think he wanted something deeper than that.
I don't know what to tell you after reading your story.
You just gave me something nice to think about anon, and I thank you for that.
Holy fucking shit OP.
If I were you, I'd seek a therapist. Talk about what happened to him, and how the movie makes you feel now.
I really wish you get over it as soon as possible. Do everything you can. Move away from home, if you havent already, get a fresh start, and don't for the love of fucks remind yourself, or let your family remind you of her.
just a reminder, if you watch animated pixard dogshit like frozen as an adult, you are cancer of the world, fuck you, please die you overgrown child
justify it all you want, youre a faggot and its allowed simply because there are so many other faggots, otherwise youd be shamed into acting like a man
you probably found answers to it already, but the answer i found when my brother killed himself is you never know why something happens. somehow through the butterfly effect, this will make the world a better place. and this is why i dont like the idea of god. he does so much good, but it is usually through blood and horror that evil dies, along with inocence. the only thing is to do the best you can, and hope the world will be a better place because of it.
On 4chan, talking about taboos is the norm. It's actually more challenging on your schema of 4chan to find a story which doesn't deal with things irrationally or offensively or disturbingly.
Fuck...I only read it once. I didn't pick up on the Admired part. Damn it nevermind.
>somehow this will make the world a better place
jesus dude, that is the shit im talking about, you faggots live in such a deluded fantasy world that you are actually a danger to yourselves and shouldnt be allowed to watch fantasy shit like that
We watch animated shit cause it takes us back to our childhood where we are care free instead of fucking serious adult business 24/7 faggot everyday blaze it up
sad fact you only read that part of the post. im not okay with that fact, its the thing i hate about god, he takes lives caring about the big picture, he misses the small things. he is suposed to be a perfect human, but any human can see someone who takes lives without caring is a monster instead
That doesn't sound healthy at all. Sounds like not accepting what happened if you have to suppress the memory of her entire existence.
I think it's more important to not let her death be what defines her. That was her only in that moment. There was so much more to her than that, though suicide gets all the attention.
>That doesn't sound healthy at all. Sounds like not accepting what happened if you have to suppress the memory of her entire existence.
This. You suggested therapy and then suggested to pretend it didn't happen.
nah I get it, I did skim it but I saw the story about the death, which everyone goes through at some point which just proves how ignorant and young you are to not know that
also there is no god, how fucking egotistical are you that you seriously believe that morons in your family that told you there is a special reason for you existing
you carry disease, you stink and take shits, you have sex, youre a monkey dude
knock that religious shit off, or explain to me how you fucks can all disagree yet are all supposedly correct
pixar cartoons are for autistic faggots who need specially crafted facial emotions to elicit an actual response in their deranged brain
if you actually google it, you'll see that lower IQ and mental disorder correlates with experiencing strong emotions from animation, and less emotions from real life
>you are all slightly to severely retarded, and to further confirm that theory, have a look at how much retards actually like pixar shit, they eat it up left and right and cant get enough because *popping sound* it elicits a fucking reaction in their deranged mind, just like yours
She stood up for me a lot again my brother and older cousins. They were all 4-6 years older than me and picked on me a lot back in the day. But she would get them to fuck off every time.
She was actually the oldest out of all the cousins and became the go-to person for everyone's shit. She listened to one cousin's stories for hours, or she'd party with another, or she'd put on frilly skirts and dance with another.
Being "that person" for everyone came so easily to her. Another case of "the person who helps the most people needs the most help."
But we all knew she had issues. For every good memory, there's a memory of her lashing out over the SMALLEST thing because, that day, her bi-polar disorder told her to freak out.
She would be either the most cheerful, helpful person alive, or the darkest. It swung about wildly.
Not a movie, but the song "The Unforgiven" by Metallica always makes me real sad because the lyrics remind me of my brother and what he must have went through before he killed himself.
He was the funniest/happiest guy I knew and one day he just kinda offed himself. That shit sucked.
I spend 99% of my time on 4chan being an asshole like everyone else but this got to me. My brothers on the edge and I worry every day somethings gonna happen to him, and sometimes I even have dreams where I've lost him and I just wake up shivering.
I cant say I've been in your shoes, but I can give you my condolences. Im sorry for your loss, and take comfort in knowing that wherever she is, whatever you believe, she's happier now. The world is a cruel place but just know its not your fault. Had you been there that day, it wouldve happened on another.
Stay strong /b/rother.
Just got on my laptop and doing it now. Your story really got to me, cause I got a sister too and she does go through bouts of depression every now and then, I'm hoping it's just teenaged hormones and all that, but I may be wrong.
>moms been away for a few days to make holiday cookies with grandparents 100's of miles away
either that, or you were being lied to (like your mom was away cause she was fighting w/ your dad or having a fucking breakdown) but no way your mom drove off a few hundred miles to fucking bake cookies. try harder
She did it every year because we always used to have Christmas up there. She was there to get the holiday cookies ready before the rest of the family showed up a week later.
That was the last time she did it alone. Nowadays, the whole family goes on the anniversary of my sister's death.
There is nothing that can compare to something like that!!! Nothing!!!
If legit I'm happy to year your family does it together (HA) as thats how it should be, no fucking reason to bake cookies w/out the kids around.
to answer your q about movies:
I had a thing with Star Wars Episode II
It impacted me in a way that not a single one of my guy friends got.
Took me a while to finally realize it was all about the Jango Fett and son duo, and how Boba finds his dad dead at the end. I grew up without a father, none of my guy friends had that going on. It was the first sign of many to come that I had indeed been left wanting psychologically with just a single mom doing the job.