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/b/ is fucking shit tonight. and i haven't...
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

Thread replies: 210
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/b/ is fucking shit tonight. and i haven't started one of these in a while. Let's hear em
I fapped alone in class and came in my pants
Before or after class?
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i once rubbed my dick with a pencil through a secondary school class and came after about 20 minutes
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Gonna bump till things get going
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last bump
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wrong pic/off topic
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I suck at greentext but whatever

>be me
>junior in high school
>didnt have any friends because just moved from different state
>spent entire year eating lunch alone
>would go out to football field and masturbate furiously in the 30 minutes we were given
>would do it behind equipment shed where nobody would see
>did this every day that year
>fast forward a year
>first day of school as a senior
>in math class (3rd floor)
>look out window
>everybody on the third floor had a perfect view of the entire shed
>mfw everybody could have seen me masturbate
>mfw everybody probably saw me masturbate

Seriously considered dropping out after that.
one time we let a cow in the building, they can walk up stairs but not down. it took a crane to get it out.
I remember one time I broke up with a girl by giving her a muffin and said "I guess this is a break-up muffin". Also when I was a senior, freshman band girls flocked around me and everyone thought I was flirting with people four years younger than me
I don't think I have any actual fucked up stuff though
saved lol
I found a girl passed out in the bathroom at a party. I pulled down her pants and filled her ass crack with cum then I wiped my dick in her mouth
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>Be my Freshman year during High School
>Finals week
>Stomach virus due to bad beaner food my dad mad
>Had to take massive shit but teacher made me finish test
>Hands it in and runs to the restroom
>Every stall is filled
>Scared I take down my pants and go in the urinal
Pull up my pants and walk away to othe bathroom to wipe myself
>Walking classroom
>"This is closed until further notice"
>MFW people talked about it the next few dats

My senior year I got plastered the morning of the last day of school with friends. We were bringing food and drinks for a "party" that the teachers were letting us have and I had a 32oz plastic bottle of Coke. At some point we began tossing it around like a football.

I threw it to a guy who failed to catch it and it went into the grass by the street (we were waiting on the bus. Smart enough not to drive drunk to school) and he picked it up and threw about a 20 yard pass back to me.

Went right through my hands, hit me square in the middle of my forehead (had a big red dot there from the bottle cap) and exploded.

Just then the bus came around the corner. Spent the whole morning wet and partially sticky from trying to get the Coke out of my clothes and hair.
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>sophomore in hs
>in class with friend, need groups of 3
>teacher puts autist with us as third
>decide to teach him some shit
>giv3 him the nickname lieutenant, constantly salute him and say you duh man
>h3 would moan a little and smile than attempt a salute but look dum
>tell him our new groups official sign
>clap three times than Heil hitler
>mfw he starts doing it, even moans heil
>he is proud of the sign, starts doing it a lot all day
>teacher yells to stop it but he is proud and does it louder
>oh fuck here we go.exe
>gets angry starts yelling and raising his arm with power of an ox
>3 teachers try to push his arm down and calm him
>finally dragged out of room, looks at me and friend
>we salute him, our lieutenant
>whole classroom loses their sides after seeing that

Never saw lieutenant again.
Happened in middle school but still fucking hilarious.
>Be me in 7th grade
>health class
>there's a tard in the class named Riley
>pretty fuckin' retarded
>one day get a bright idea
>were talking about sex and masturbation in health class
>guest nurse is there to talk to us
>i sit behind riley
>whisper to him that the teacher wants him to be a demonstrator for masturbation but doesn't want other kids to get jealous so i asked for her in secret
>fucking believes it
>jumps to the front of the class
>pulls pants down
>tard wail as he masturbates his micro dick in front of class
>nurse flips out
>tard police soon arrive
>drag him out of class room

Never saw Riley much after that.
>Be from fairly well off family
>My step-sister is a bitch
>Still want to fuck her
>This new holier-than-thou girl starts at our school
>Step-sister bets me I can't corrupt her
>I get this brunette virgin obsessed with me in the mean time
>Bang the holier-than-thou chick just before she moves away

Felt good man
>be me
>done so much drugs that i cant remember my school years
>fuck my life
Anyone ever B52ed?
i snuck into this chicks house while she was having a sleep over with her friends..
snuck in thruogh window and fucked the main girl after she knocked out i decided to try my luck with the other two who also had crush's on me, fucked the other till she knocked out and then the last one, as far as i know none of them ever found out i fucked them all in the same night. if they ever did, they wouldve severed their friendships for sure
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>Be freshman
>get text from brother in class
>"My gf is really high in class, I need you to go pull her out"
>fucking bitch...
>Grab bathroom pass
>go to her class
>Tell the decrepit, 79 year old teacher she's being pulled out for yearbook interviews
>Pull her into hallway
>What did you take?
>Goddamn you retard
>she stumbles down the hallway even while I support her
>She goes limp and slams into the wall
>Pick her up and take her to girls bathroom while checking over my shoulder to make sure we dont get caught
>Get to bathroom
>block door handle with trash can
>take her to stall, sit her down
>she groans with her head slumped over
>lift her and bend her over toilet
>fuck her, cum inside
>put her clothes back on and sit her on toilet
>brother breaks up with her next day because shes a pillhead
Fast forward 15 months
>Moved to different state
>brother tells me how his ex tried to convince him to move back to other state
>she has a kid
>born 9 months after I fucked her
>mfw father at 15 years old
never told a soul until now
I used to masturbate daily in the handicapped elevator and cum all over the buttons.
knowing that all the cripples kids were forced to handle my jizz every single day was the best feeling.
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>Be me
>Be senior year in the beginning choir
>The choir is absolute shit
>The Sopranos and the Altos are mediocre, but the guys (no bass or tenor section, just the guys) are absolute shit.
>Out of 28 guys it seems as if i was the only one to join choir on my own accord because none of these guys can sing for shit or even care to try and get better.
>Teach tells me to sing quieter one day because it sounds bad if one voice sticks out
>Fuck that, i sing even louder
>Teach gets mad at me
>sing louder
>get kicked out of class
>next day do the same thing
>eventually i drop the class because i hated being the only decent singer and he never let me join the advanced choir
>1st semester concert comes around
>buy ticket
>Whenever the beginning choir goes up to do a piece i literally have to cover my ears to keep from going deaf
>2nd semester get called to office
>teach says he needs me to join the choir again because "the guys need someone to lead them"
>say no and walk out with no regrets
>mfw i had a teach literally begging me to join his class
Britfag here
>made a teacher fall down the stairs, never got blamed
>broke half of the machines in tech class, put a kid's metal ruler in the sander and dropped pencils into this weird victorian pump looking thing, repairs cost about £5000
Worst thing though
>befriended bitch I hated, tumblr bitch before tumblr existed
>i, i like games too
>people should cater for my needs and no-one's else's
>she comes to me one night crying
>apparently some jock got her preggo, she's crying, saying her parents will hate her
>tell her she can get rid of it
>she should run away, and raise it somewhere
>she thinks it sounds crazy but warms to the idea
>goes missing for a few days
>i'm in disbelief
>she comes back a few days later, don't see her in school for a couple of weeks
>comes back in
>apparently she fell and the baby's dead...
>turn 360 degrees
>walk away
>i still don't think it was really my fault
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I might as well post one
>be in middle school but fuck you it's my thread
>tard kid named jacob in class
>jacob has anger issues and likes to throw shit
>one day jacob raises his hand to answer a question
>guesses wrong
>jacob puts his head in his arms on the desk
>you can see his face getting red as a fucking apple
>5 minutes later he picks his head up and throws his books across the room and puts his head back down
>teacher tells him to leave
>he doesn't move an inch
>walks over to him and grabs him and tries to walk him out
>jacob flips the fuck out and throws his desk
>teacher tells everyone to leave the class
>i stay behind to watch as the other kids go to another classroom, shit was hilarious
>jacob goes on a rampage and starts pushing everyone's shit around
>teacher calls tard warden
>tard warden comes and grabs jacob from behind and lifts his fat fucking ass up
>jacob is screaching NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! with tears streaming down his red face
>jacob is flailing his arms around trying to hit tard warden
>watch in awe as tard wrangler is carrying jacob out the door while he is screaming and flailing
>jacob never came back
Hahaha wow

hey that's my name
Ah fuck, these feels.
Generally don't cry but I have tears in my eyes at the moment.
Appreciated, anon.
>Got drunk
>Wandering around neighborhood
>Drew swastikas on the nicest cars we could find with sharpies
>Threw paving brings at car windshields, most bounced up onto the roof or slide down the hood
lots of fucked up shit

>stole dental grade gum numbing shit from dentist office
>soaked joint in it and let dry
>3 of us smoked joint
>laid on floor for 7 minutes
>everything went wom wom wom wom wom wom
fapped to a slut during my history final senior year. one of the biggest loads of my life, kept it quiet

at first I felt bad for never sitting with the dude who was always alone. Then I read

>>would go out to football field and masturbate furiously in the 30 minutes we were given

and didn't feel so bad
>be me
>senior year 18
>go to classes like usually
>Doing same shit we've been doing past few days
>"anon I need you to stay after class to finish up some work..."
>everyone leaves
>teacher walks up to my table
>"Anon, I needed to talk to you about something...something personal

I'm usually really chill with the younger teachers, chem teach was about a 8/10, huge ass and always wore tight skirts, professional looking shit.

>"Well sure what is it?
>"I've been having...thoughts...about you recently"
>"Well what do you mean?"
>"I'll let you know after school, meet me by my car"
>Class lets out, talking to friends
>See teacher standing by her car, looking at me...she re-did her makup.
>"Okay guys I'll talk to you later"
>6th grade middle school (Fuck you)
>Retard named Patrick (actual downsyndrome tard)
>Somehow made it into real classes
>In class, second day of class
>Put thumbtacks on the bottom and back of his seat (scotch tape)
>Tard sit down, thumbtacks stab into him
>Everyone laughing
>Tard turns bright red and starts screaming
>He showed up for class a couple more days and then switched into tard classes
dude you're horrible at greentext
Is this a common thing or do we go to the same school? A couple years ago this was my senior prank.
>got to school early very often, when only a few janitors and maybe a few other kids were there
>used this time one day to write "gullible" on ceiling in cafeteria
>would tell people "there's gullible written on the ceiling"
>"I wont fall for that anon"
>"I'll bet you $20 real cash that there is gullible written on the ceiling"
>They look up
>They pay up
>Laugh straight to the bank

no, if it can't be done in one post, dont fucking do it at all.
Yeah, as someone who knows what vidya can do for someone, that gave me too many feels.
Stop right there criminal scum
you're just a cunt.
inb4 teacher is a succubus and this is some whacky /x/ shit
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forgot pic,
Pic related
couple of stories

>have asshole teacher for art
>only took art to fill up subject spaces in 6th year (Scotfag)
>hate the subject
>still try my best
>expected to spend all my free period and time after school working on art project
>already accepted into uni so dont even need to pass
>teacher hates that i dont love her subject
>gives me detention every day i have art (monday through thursday)
>makes me write essays on why art is important
>going to uni to do aeronautical engineering so as much as i like art i dont care about it
>never write the essays
>she uses this as an excuse to fail me on tests and shit
>she is off for 3 weeks before christmas break
>we're told shes sick
>friends with my graphics teacher
>only guy in his class who knew who Killing Joke and Circle Jerks were so we talk
>he tells me shes off because she had an abortion
>her fiance left her when she was 2 months pregnant
>Shes off "to grieve" or some shit
>first day back after cchristmas
>nuisance kid in my class
>yells a lot and just doesnt want to work
>is only in school so he doesnt need to get a job
>get friend of a friend to tell him why teacher was off
>use friend of a friend so it doesnt come back to me
>first art class after christmas
>2 minutes in teacher is talking
>kid yells out "miss, whyd you get an abortion? i mean arent you like 40? its now or never isnt it?"
>teacher is barely 30
>She bursts into tears and runs from the room
>asshole kid gets chewed out by department head and suspended for 2 weeks
>art teacher quit her job
>see her around sometimes
>shes shaved all her hair off and is clearly on drugs
>ruined art teachers life.

more stories coming
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>junior year geometry
>be football team
>half of football team in class
>every day we are rowdy and loud
>every day at least one of us does the pencil throw trick (pic related)
>teacher would go full hulk mode at least 2 days a week
>sometimes when he turned his back to write we would synchronuize 2 or 3... hell, maybe even 4 or 5 pencil throws
>he whirled around so fast his glasses flew off his face
>entire class on the floor laughing
>vice-principal gets called
>everyone gets saturday school

last day of school like 19 of us pencil'd the ceiling
Some kid managed to get inside the elevator for the disabled kids, take a shit inside of it, smear it all over the walls, and get away with it cleanly. (lmao no pun intended). Keep in mind its only a two story school.
Remembered something else I did in Science Class
>had horrible shitty teacher
>never learnt anything
>substitute teacher for science is so nice, friendly and easy to learn from
>one day we're working with bunsen burners
>teacher has her own experiment set up to demonstrate to anyone who doesn't understand
>tard kid is knocking over shit in the corner
>she goes over to sort him out
>rush over to her desk
>get her tongs, hold the handle over the bunsen burner on full heat for a minute
>leave it where she put it as she's coming back
>realise she's wearing big plastic science gloves
>she picks them up with a beaker but needs to pick up a rack for test tubes
>she puts the tongs...
>in her mouth
>drops glass beaker
>she's crying
>tard is freaking out
>everybody freaks out
>i almost shit myself with laughter
>there's glass everywhere
>nearly everyone has smashed their experiment
Go on...
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you're so cool anon

football team


highschool athletics

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>be me
>junior in high school
>was particularly horny one day during my lunch period
>go to bathroom to rub one out
>as im cumming kid walks in
>try to conceal my orgasm
>so used to jacking off i didn't do any moans or anything like that
>flush urinal
>shitty plumbing at the school so water floats a little after you flush
>see my cum noticeably floating in the water
>only urinal in the bathroom
>kid walks up and uses it
>kid looks at me weird as he goes to wash his hands
>i cringe and quickly wash my hands and leave
I masturbated in the stupid times and places when I was a kid
> be drinking and smoking weed with friends (15 people) (17-18)
> ex-fwb there, she had a bf who wasn't there, I have gf
> she's playful all night, drinks waaay too much, then I convince her to smoke with me
> nights over, her, my friend who's place it was and I are left
> Her head is in his lap
> Her legs are over me
> Watching movie
> She's passed out hard
> Blanket on top of us
> Rub her over yoga pants
> She moans in my buddies lap and nuzzles against his cock
> He's like "oh.."
> She's in yoga pants
> Slip my hand in and finger her
> She's insanely wet, semi-lucid
> Says her bf's name
> Friend dafuq.jpg
> "What's with her?" bro says
> "Not sure bro"
> I pull her pants down so her ass is hanging out, bro doesn't notice
> Turn on my side, slip it in and rock slowly pumping in her
> Slip out
> Decide to anal, better angle anyway
> Anal her, she's loose as hell
> Ready to cum, pull out and fuck her again
> Cum inside her fully and deep (7.5")
> Pull her pants up
same here haha
> Movie finishes and I walk her home, she's stubbling the whole way
> Half way home she gets text from bf to come over
> She says "Anon! Bf wants me to come over! Can you help me get there?"
> "Sure anon"
> Walk her to his place
> He's a douche from the next school over
> Stop her in path, grab her, pull her in
> "anon, we can't I'm going to see bf!"
> "You know you want to", rub hand on her pussy through yoga pants
> Pants are soaked, she moans from it
> "I knowww, but I'd feel bad and your gf.."
> Push her against fence in alley, whip her tits out and suck em, finger her
> Pull her pants down, she's a little resistant
> "anon, do you have a condom? I'm not on the pill anymore"
> OHSHIT.jpg
> YOLO.jpg
> Throw a rubber on
> Turn her around and bang her standing as she holds the fence
> Great time, she's drunk/high, me too
> Reach around and give her an orgasm rub her clit while fucking her
> I cum again, pull out and toss the condom off
> She pulls her pants up
> Walk her to bf's
> He thinks I'm her awesome guy friend, he's a tool and thinks we're friends
> He's a total douche, big white glasses, short crop hair, cross-fit
> She gives me hug and goes up to bf chilling on his porch waiting
> "Thanks for walking her home anon!"
> "Just being a good friend bro"

my fucking sides are passing jupiter's orbit
I would have changed schools swift as fuck
>be me
>be freshman in highschool
>im a nerd
>come out as gay
>now im a faggot nerd
>one jock is a huge asshole to me all the time because im such a huge faggot
>big dance is coming up
>he has a party at his house to celebrate or some shit
>i get told he's passed out
>find him at party, and jackoff onto his face and make it look like he's enjoying it
>take a picture and show it to everyone
>now were both faggots together
>>575516689 what school did you go to? a school i went to did this.
I managed to get off right in class once, staring at a particularly nice whaletail. There are advantages to being in the behind everybody else and directly in front of the teacher
Don't do this, it makes mustard gas
> She got pregnant, has kid 9 months after that night
> Think's it's his and they keep it
> Her parents are raising it while she goes to college
> TFW it's blond like me, Thank fucking god she's blondish(I hope that kids hair darkens)
> It'll look just like me since all sons/fathers in my family look fucking identical
> I have never told a soul this
> I fucked her while she's pregnant without a condom a few times
> Fucked her a few times in first year since her uni is right near mine (now in 4th year)
> She's actually a great girl, I just seem to be able to fuck her once and a while
> She doesn't fuck anyone else, me and her were best friends
> She puts an end to it and her bf moves in, he went to college became electrician
> I don't hate her bf anymore, he grew on me, he just looks douchy but wasn't
> They'll probably get married

> I had a gf at the time
> I was an ass that cheated all the time
> Regret cheating on her though, she was perfect, could've wifed her
> I was just immature, also you're only that age once and I wanted all the teen pussy I could
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sounds like hs must've been hard for you
>be me
>did all my shit on time
>had half day my senior year
>sorry no fucked up stories
/b/ is fantastic tonight, see this glory
that reminds me of this one prank we did where we got 3 chickens, painted them 1, 2, and 4, and then let them loose in the school. It took a crane to get them out.
fuck you for making me cry
you sound mad
During PE when it was swim season, we would go to the pools locker room and steal everyone's cash from their wallets. One time we found a gram of coke, it was pretty good. None of the teachers caught on for nearly 3 months. Probably made around 600 bucks in all. If your in highschool you need to do this... also you should be b& for being here. But really, its genious, they're all in the pool and your golden to go for it.
>be me at 17
>latino but not a nigger
>latinas only like latinos who act like niggers
>rejection festered
>advent of the internet tripled perversions
>hot latinas take stupid overexposed portraits at the mall
>trade and share
>spanish teacher receives one and places in a photocube
>swiped it before end of class
>blew 3 loads and a ghost load on top of it
>put it back next morning
>fuck latinas, all of them
here's one for ya

>years ago
>kid in school
>average day
>dickhead idiots around me
>shithead assholes around them
>it's like civil war
>teachers try to beak it up
>sorta succeed
>everyone goes back to class
>about 30 minutes later
>hear something slight from the halls
>nobody thinks anything of it
>little later
>slightly louder
>sounds like fighting
>gets serious
>banging, crashing shit like that
>everyone tries to go out and look
>teachers yell
>what's that sound
>everybody look what's goin' down
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it actually was :(
i once did a common thing, it took a crane to get it out
>be 16yo me
>grade 10 exam week
>because of exams there wasn't much school you just show up whenever you have an exam that week
>I had 2 exams in the whole week
>night before big important math exam
>buddy gets his hands on some of the best acid you can get on the west coast of canada
>never done acid
>We take 3 hits each
>intense tripping balls scene
>took enough that I was high and hallucinating for 3 days
>however i have the math exam next morning
>no sleep go into exam bug eyed
>will fail this class if i dont get a good mark
>sit down to do exam and see patterns and shit going crazy
>so fucking high and cant understand simple concepts and the easier questions involving melons and shit
>get to the harder question worth more points
>just calculations
>somehow my mind wraps around them
>stop needing to use calculator
>feel like a superhuman
>exam over
>get mark
>solid 80.5%
>one of the best marks out of classmates

and thats how i got a B in math
You sound like a fag...

>be in highschool band
>always have time at the end of class each day
>I sneak off every day at the end of class to masturbate
>the area behind the stage near the band room was always empty
>for months go back there and wack it before leaving school for the day
>always finished in dark corner on some random objects/props they had because fuck it
>near fall every year the band plays a concert for the parents
>notice one of the props is set up during the show
>its a large pumpkin that lights up
>literally had cum stains all over it
>mfw i played at the concert along side my jack-o-lantern
>never told anybody
>whole crowd probably saw it
>Be me
>be with a seriously hot girl
>get mega boner every time
>girl breaks it off says im too hard to understand
>too hard to
>too hard
Well done, sex offender. You will be taking polygraphs in no time
another story from my 6th year

>we have a special ed classroom in the english department
>kids arent so much retarded as much as theyre just time wasters and idiots
>they get treated to all sorts of shit
>on trips to theme parks and shit every week
>just to keep them out of the way
>theyre smug as shit about it even though theyre going to be wasters when they leave school
>kid comes back from one of the trips with this pump action gun that shoots marshmallows and shit at people
>is using it on everyone but gets away with it because of his "mental disabilities"
>fucking hate him
>doing p.e a few days later
>his class is on the field next to ours
>We're playing baseball
>theyre basically fighting and running around aimlessly
>kid in our class trips while running and faceplants
>breaks his nose
>teacher tells us to stay put until he comes back
>nows my chance
>two friends and i sneak over into the trees lining the other field
>Wait for smug little shit to run past
>as he runs past friend grabs him and hauls him into the treeline
>knocks him on his ass and starts rolling him in the mud on the ground
>boots him as hard as he can in the balls
>other friend manages to pull one of the laces out of his shoes (i honestly still dont know how) and uses it to tie his hand up high to a branch in the tree
>branch is way higher up than this kid can reach
so the kid is suspended in the air being held up by the lace and the branch
>friend pulls off his shorts and shit and throws them into the trees
>we sneak back to class
>See whole of his class running to where he is screaming
>whole class finds him covered in mud and hanging from a tree half naked
>he is lead down to the school and through the main hall with his modesty being hidden by the teachers jacket
>see the teacher bin his jacket after the kid is redressed
>kid is so fucking stupid he cant even articulate who did it to him
>he finished his time in that school being called "micropenis"
how were you that uncontrollable in highschool. middle school would be one thing, but by highschool you should have been able to control those urges
I swear, if everyone walks the dinosaur im gonna blow a load
>circle jerks
mah nigga
underrated post
You sound like a faggot with no direction in your life
> Be yr 12 = 17 to 18 yrs old
>have 10/10 classics teacher
>23 yrs old huba huba
>drop stuff whole yr to c ass
>1 day 10/10 comes 2 teach with only tights on
>only tights on
>>only tights
>oh shit.jpeg
>drop shit as usual
>ask teach to pick up ples
>hormones take over
>try to sniff asshole
>mfw she sees me
>mfw class shuns me
>my face when counseling for 2 months
>mfw dropout and never return
>mfw family tell visitors story
>mfw fuck my life
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>played bass in high scool band
>band director asks me and other bassist(who is my best friend) if we can play a song with one of the drummers to open up the spring concert
>after five seconds decide in Aerials by SOAD because its easy as fuck to sing and play, and the drummer wouldn't even have to learn it
>go home and get idea
>call friend and drummer and tell them to learn Cigaro too
>day of concert
>full house
>band director welcomes everyone and yells the crowd they are in for a special treat
>I start aerials
>get to the point where the vocals come in and change to Cigaro {the switch was fucking perfect)
>look at band director
>never seen a bigger look in conclusion
>walk back to the microphone
>it's time
>pa system instantly shut off
>police escort out if building

Besides a shitload of credit completion we were didn't receive any punishment. Lots of dirty looks for parents at graduation though
last one
not something i directly did, more encouraged but still

>in 3rd year
>kid in out chemistry class
>has serious anger issues or some shit
>flies off the handle at any moment
>punched me out by surprise a few times
>everyone lives in fear of him
>kid got suspended (only fucking suspended) for stabbing the teacher in the hand with scissors
>when he comes back class is walking on eggshells around him
>friend wants to get him back
>we have a little disposal bin for damaged glasses
>cracked testtubes and beakers etc
>dangerous cause when heated they can explode and shit
>bin is in no way locked or anything
>Friend rummages in bin when no one is looking and finds a beaker and 2 testtubes
>beaker is cracked as shit
>barely holding together
>when we're doing experiements and shit he replaces psycho kids beaker with broken one
>We're heating up a testube submerged in water in a beaker
>Dont remember why
>sit beaker on this metal stand with a wire mesh on top
>friend knows what hes gonna do
>i dont
>Waits five minutes>loudly proclaims "aw cool look! the mesh glows red hot after a bit!"
>no one else bites
>psycho kid does
>leans down so hes resting the side of his head on the bench right next to the burner, below the mesh
>as if god willed it the beaker fucking shatters
>kid is pelted with boiling water and broken glass
>leans into the bunsen burner severely burning his arm too
>kid came back to school like a month later
>severe burn scarring on his face and hands
>we get 20 minute lecture on lab safety
>psycho kid now called "melty"
yea. I would have buried my face in her ass for all that trouble
Alright heres mine, kinda shitty because im on my phone.
>be me in 9th grade
>start smoking weed every day at school before gym
>occasionally have to work with retarded kids in gym
> one day get super stoned and a little bit drunk before gym
>coach says we are working with special kids
>we have to play a game where everyone says an object and we have to remember everyones object before us
>im last
>too high for this shit
>stare blankly with my mouth wide open
>coach thinks im a retard for rest of year
Lieutenant hit a teacher in the face btw.
I think I laughed too hard at this.
For my senior prank we put a big sign over the entry sign at the school that said "Your work will set you free"
It took a crane to get it down
i see what you did there
>>Be from fairly well off family
>>My step-sister is a bitch
>>Still want to fuck her
>>This new holier-than-thou girl starts at our school
>>Step-sister bets me I can't corrupt her
>>I get this brunette virgin obsessed with me in the mean time
>>Bang the holier-than-thou chick just before she moves away

Cruel intentions ?
Not me, but a buddy of mine in 10th grade

>fat nignog english teacher
>she has a bunch of health problems and always does weird shit
>one day she isn't in class and principal tells class that she was in a car accident
>we all look up local news
>car ran off road into field, only one casualty
>casualty is a lone horse grazing in field
>nignog ran over a single fuckin horse, totalled car
>buddy comes up with plan to welcome her back
>next day she walks into class to see HORSEKILLER spray painted on her wall
>she goes fucking crazy in the hallway, screaming her head off, almost passes out from physical exertion
>one year after graduating find out she died from gout complications
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>be 16
>be last year of hs
>sit next to 8/10 brunette with see through shirt
>see her bra literally like shes topless
>start rubbing one out through trousers
>accidentally moan a bit
>she looks at me funny and then looks down
>she realises
>starts screaming just as I cum
>cum seeps through trousers
>run out classroom as cum still spurts out
>soon as I'm in corridor whip out dick
>teacher comes out
>look her right in the eye while I cum again
>best orgasm of life
>no regrets

>best friend in HS graduated and moved down to Corpus Christi.
>Asks me to check in on his GF while he's gone
>Says he doesn't trust her not to fool around on him
>I go by and see her. Never much liked her
>Short little blonde with no waist
>Attractive face and great tits but a bitch and something wrong with hips/torso
>She invites me in
>Parents gone
>Not ten minutes later we're making out and then she's blowing me
>End up fucking her daily for almost a month
>We're doing all of this under the table
>Don't want my friend to find out because I feel like a dick
>He comes back to Houston to get the rest of his stuff and finish moving down to Corpus
>Asks how I like Cheryl
>Oh shit
>Starts laughing at me
>Said they broke up when he graduated, he knew she was a complete whore, and told her to go ahead and fuck me if she wanted to (she wanted to)

>Better friend than I deserved.
I scratched my balls which for some reason smelled really bad at the time, and put my finger under some dudes nose. Unfortunately this stunk up the entire classroom. I think one kid threw up.
fucking beta male jealous of football players confirmed
also you still using the shibe meme you fucking loser? kill yourself bro
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it's well known to the point of being a cliche, like the whole numbering pigs 1, 2, and 4 thing. but usually they say it's the bleachers and that they had to use a crane to get it down.

we released chickens into the courtyard and stole pic related from a nearby park and left it in front of the entrance.
infact, not in high school but totally related

>guy in high school gives me shit
>For all six years he thinks hes a smart ass
>total fucking moron
>in the bottom classes for every subject
>but is popular as shit
>likes to lash out at me for "being a nerd"
>live in Scotland
>calling someone a nerd is dumb as shit
>hate his guts
>usually just cut him down when he starts
>he doesnt understand half of what im saying so he thinks he gets the better of me all the time
>5 years after school
>recently reconnected with best friends from school
>had lost touch after we went to different universities and shit
>one of them says hes managed to get in contact with loads of people from school
>theyre all chipping in to rent out some shithole bar
>like a pseudo-reunion type shit
>adamant im not going
>hated everyone in school but 3 people
>he talks me into it
>show up and its like fucking school all over again
>half of them still hang out in the same friend groups and shit
>the rest are even more fucked up and useless than they were
>literally no one has grown up at all in 5 years
>feel like im me looking back at my school 5 years ago
>shack up in corner with friends who i had brought with me
>just go out between drinks to smoke and shit
>come back in and spot the asshole
>he looks almost te exact same
>Still dressed like some 16 year old wigger faggot
>hatred instantly comes back
>hes with his girlfriend
>4/10 duckface doritos skin whore
>knew her from other friends
>town bicycle
>hatch a plan
>he keeps going to the bathroom with 2 other guys
>theyre obviously doing drugs
>usually gone 15 minutes at a time
>use one bathroom break to talk to her
>theyre engaged and shes 2 months pregnant

Stalked a hot teacher
>gave her obscene phone calls asking her what she was wearing and whether she ever fucks her son
>went trick-or-treating at her house
>drove by her house frequently
>followed her by car to her parents' house
>wrote rape fantasies about her.
kek +1 feels
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>10th grade history class
>autistic fat ass history fag sits in front of me all year
>always blabbering on about history shit and how much he knew, telling everyone they were wrong
>bitched out a chick for not doing the reading homework once, WTF
>his ass crack stared at me everyday because fat and pants don't mix
>everyday I would ball up paper and flick it off my desk into ass cavern
>ventured into pencil lead bits, eraser chunks, pocket lint anything I could find
>topkeks when he would leave class and leave a trail of mess falling out of his pants everyday
>could follow his trail of ass crumbs to get back to class if needed
>bro next to me got in on the act and would shoot baskets with paper bits into ass crack
>I'm a dick but fuck that guy
burned down a primary school forest

Arson at 15

Kicked the living shit out of a kid
>Be a Sr.
>Freshman says the wrong thing (not that bad)
>Tackle him, choke him almost unconscious, and punch him

I think it gave him PTSD because a few years later I heard he beat up a kid the way I beat him up.
that's so fucking gay I want to believe your a troll
talked shit on annoying bitch in highschool on truth box and didnt set as anonymous

>buy her a drink and return to seat
>use every bathroom break of his through the night to isolate and talk to her
>shes ugly as sin in most ways but this will be worth it
>eventually suggest we leave together
>shes reluctant at first
>give her time to think
>a while later he goes to the bathroom
>i decide to go outside for a smoke
>She follows me out and leads me by the hand to the back of the place
>i make sure as many people as i can see us go
>she starts grinding on me
>pulls up her own dress and undoes my trousers
>start fucking her against the wall
>sure enough 2 minutes later he wheels round the corner
>confronted with me pounding her as hard as i physically can
>She doesnt even see him
>he doesnt even react at first
>he wells up and starts crying
>walks away
>finish fucking her and return inside
>at im leaving he attempts to start shit with me
>people gets between us and haul him away
>girl called me a few weeks later
>shed left him and kicked him out
>she aborted the kid and wants to see me
>turn her down
>lie to do so
>shes actually okay with it
>"it was nice though anon, i enjoyed myself"
>never talk to her again
>legitimately see him begging on the streets sometimes
>hes basically some crazy ass king of the hobos now
I studied hard.
Got good grades.
passed on most parties.
Got a scholarship.
Now 24yo making 74K USD.
Women who used to ignore me climb over each other to give me their numbers.
Bump for infinikeks
same tbh
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and the jocks who bullied you now all clean your floors for minimum wage and suck your dick for tips right?
Wow so edge much cool
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>be me a senior in HS
>know how to play guitar fairly well
>use skills to attract the girls
>one day a qt3.14 decides to sit next to me in Spanish
>say hi and get to know her, all the usual stuff
>has a broken family, parents divorced, she's really stuck up towards everyone else but me
>we really hit it off
>go out on a few dates
>I would always pick her up on her mom's front porch
>she's my girlfriend now
>fast forward to end of year
>I'm sad, won't see her much during the summer
>call her up in the middle of July
>hey anonette wanna come down to my house
>my parents aren't home
>she says yes
>my heart is beating like crazy from nervousness
>remember the guitar I just recently bought, decide to get it out to cool my nerves
>have it because me and some guys from school usually played together and this was my first decent instrument
>strumming away, I remember anonette is on her way
>decide to play it cool and just leave the door open
>I sat down and played my guitar again, pretending I didn't see her walk in
>I got my first real six string
>bought it at the five-and-dime
>played it till my fingers bled
>it was the summer of '69
Give it time.
>sitting in room with class watching movie
>a girl either side of me sitting at back of class
>sort of have a thing with one so start rubbing thigh
>things get heavy nek minnut finger in puss puss, squeezing titties
>other girl catches us and so wants in
>quietly grabs my hand and end up doing the same thing at the back of the class
>me sitting here obviously ignoring movie, arms outstretched like spaghetti
>awkward as fuck but dont care
>sort of painful in shoulder, distracts me from pleasure
>both girls rubbing cock furiously
>movie ends before cream
You're supposed to be dead though

I knocked off a wall clock while trying to staple a t-shirt onto the wall
...the clock landed on my teacher's 4 year old
Fucked a fat girl on her period and busted a nut inside her. She told everyone and I got the fuck out of that school. Luckily she didn't get pregnant.
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You must have been one of those kids (and still are).
You need to learn how a pussy works you fucking moron!
how can i be you?
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not necessarily high school but 8th grade
hated this science teacher, creepy as fuck, and sexist to all the guys.
>be 8th grade
>find his lunch bag (not like a walmart bag but one of those ones that your mom would pack it in from elementary school)
>empty content into garbage and fill with tennis balls from the chairs
>busted nut
>be football team
>half of football team in class
You must be really fat
Shut up, Patrick.
That seems familiar...
also knocked one of my english teachers projectors straight off the wall and put it in the middle of the hallway

>masturabted in equipment shed
>wondered why no friends
>have devil's threesome
>10 mins in
>switch with buddy from mouth to vagoo
>fill her with jizz immediately
your teacher sounds like a retard
Another story?

> Fuck greentext for now

Be 18, retaking chemistry since I dropped it in grade 11 but then wanted to be engineer.
I'm the only person in grade 12 in the class. I make friends with this tiny blonde shy drama girl (5'4, petite/thin).
She's been dating this 6'1(I'm 5'10) guy for 2 years. They're cute together, but I flirt with her.
I need to do some volunteer hours to get highschool Diploma (Ontario, Canada)
Join stage crew of school play, basically you just chill and watch the girls change costumes
and then move stage shit once and a while.

The blonde is director assistant to dramma teacher. He bf isn't around since he's not in play. We get closer, I get her number and text. I still had a gf at this time. I start making moves on this girl, compliments, jokes, "you'd enjoy me, you know it", tickle her, poke her, pull her in close. Sitting pretty close with her back stage during one of last rehearsals. Push her, she pushes back.
Pull her in, go for kiss and land it. She kisses back. Tongue. I put my hand on her leg. Slide up to her pussy. Yoga pants. Rub her. She's into it. Pushes me away. "We can't do this anon, what about bf?", "sorry, you're just so hot". She blushes.



Cool story, bro.
>tfw I always sat in front of teachers in assigned seats
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I got an annoying autist arrested for dealing drugs in the school.

This is what I wish happened to me. I knew a cute drama girl.

I am legitimately envious
>be in 8th grade
>science teacher is an asshole, shaped like a bowling pin
>he is super excited about the space shuttle, and the fact that a teacher would be picked to go up
>he applied for it, didn't win
>space shuttle launch
>shuttle is kill
>he flips his shit and is out for a day or two
>comes back, guy in class makes a space shuttle joke about the teacher who is now kill
>"found her head and shoulders in the beach" punchline
>too soon
>bowling pin goes full on rage, throws a bunch of shit and screams like a maniac
>drags kid out of class, while rage crying
>is gone for a week and had to apologize to the class for going full retard
This is so gay its unbelievable
I'm not making this up. I cheated constantly and hit I still hit on everything that moves.

We go on for a while, flirting still. I finger her after the last rehearsal in my truck behind school. Play night goes by and it's over.
Still see her in class. Sit by her. Grab her leg and shit. Text her stuff. Flirt.
She's ahead in this class. I have no care for chem, falling behind. I become a mechanical engineer anyway. I hate chem.
We were planning to stay in the classroom when it's lunch for her to help me catch up since finals are coming.
The classroom is a lab, we just sit at lab benchs. There's a wall between so you only see tops of chests.
I spend all class flirting with her. She's into it. She's always telling me how bad she feels. "Me too babe, I wish you were so beautiful".
Class is over, just me and her on the far side of the lab, bench and wall between us and door. I'm leaning in to "study". Kick her legs and shit. Poke her. She's playful back. Put my legs on her stool. Rest hand on leg. Slowly rub it. 10 mins goes by. I'm hard, she notices.
I slide hand up right beside pussy. She's fully aware. "Anon, you should study". I rub into the inside of her legs. She arches her back as I rub past her pussy a bit. "Anon.. uh." I basically just rub her full out, she's right into it. She reaches and pulls me out. "OMG ANON, YOU"RE HUGE! You're way bigger than bf" Jerks me a bit. I start finger bang her.
I slow down put a finger on her lip and gesture to blow me. She gets the hint and bobs a few times on me. "OMG ANON..". I flat out say "I want to fuck you". "Oh god I wish."
"Sure we can. Lets move over there, no one could see in there". We move over to place that is obscured by chem equipment cupboards.

Sorry bro, enjoy the story though? Imagine it was that girl for you?
Choir fag here. Hahaha that sucks.
you had a perfect chance for a pun
jack o-ff lantern
good read
Girls can't get pregnant on their periods dumbfuck
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I tried to.

But Christ i was such a beta, I can't imagine even going for it you know? I can remember sobbing backstage in the middle of a show while she was making out with another guy. Only reason I was super upset was that she was seriously putting the moves on me, and I picked up nothing. I blame myself.

>tfw you will always be a beta loser
>tfw 29 now and can not even dream of having a gf
>be 16
>started smoking weed at the age of 13
>moved on to harder drugs, tried just about everything
>finally tried heroin
>i smoked it; it was heavenly
>quickly became very addicted, started shooting up
>brought my needles, ties, alcohol swabs, sterile water, cookers, and heroin to school to get me through the day
>shooting up in the bathroom at lunch time
>thought it would be funny to draw up some blood in a needle and squirt it all over the walls
>walk out of bathroom with smirk on my face
I've seen a counsellor for sex-addiction. We determined it's not that bad and I enjoy it. I still study and have a gf. I just spend all other free time trying to or getting laid.

> Back to highschool memories

I have her lean back on the stool and lift her legs up. I pulled her pants down so her pussy pops out the bottom. Had her knees up by my shoulder. Fucked her for like 20 mins solid, bend her over stool too. She complains I'm going too deep. Switch it up to doggy facing away. There's an audible slapping sound. She cums. I'm having trouble, too nervous. My tech teacher walks into the open door that attached to the lab storage, has a small box.
We make eye contact and he just walks away. We were pretty close and he was pretty chill. She notices my distraction. "What's up anon?" "Oh nothing, you're ass is wonderful". Go back to fucking her. Cum in her. I hadn't fucked my gf or bated in like 2 days. Huge fucking load. Pull out and it falls in on her pants, awesome cream-pie. I get paper towel, she's just bending over trying to hold my waterfall of cum in her. I wipe it up off her legs. She wipes it off her pants but it's a noticeable white spot. We grab our books clean up. Bell rings for next class.

Next class is tech. Walk in go to computer as usually to start CADing. Teacher calls me over. Ohfuck.jpg. "Anon. I'm not going to say anything about that, but don't do that. You're a good kid. Atleast drive home for lunch and do that. Let's not speak of that again." "I know. Sorry. Thanks.". Go back and work.

Blondy's bf worked during the week after school. I'd drive her home after school (if I wasn't going to pick up my gf from the other HS), but we'd stop by my/her place throughout the rest of grade 12 year. Then when my gf was away at competitions on weekend I'd fuck blondy in my truck. I was getting laid 5 times a week minimum for like 8 months with these two girls, then another one (who was 14..)
You're not a good choral singer if you can't blend. Period. Also you probably suck an egregious amount of dicks.
you think this actually happened?
Sorry to hear that bro. Always remember you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. I actually don't approach many girls though. You gotta learn to read girls. If they smile, talk to you or show you basically any attention without prompt you can probably fuck them if you just act confident and push em. Girls like douche bags. I'm actually a really nice guy though. My gf thinks I'm sweet, and cute but I also met her by picking her up at a semi-formal dance. I just don't feel bad for cheating.. Not sure why. I hate seeing her upset but cheating gives me zero feels..
thats what she deserves for taking triple c's like a fucking nigger.
Kill yourself
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>9th grade
>drug dealer moves in next door
>cool guy, smokes me out all the time
>smoke weed literally every day
>for all 4 years of high school
>mediocre at everything
>barely graduate
>stop smoking weed
>life immediately improves

What the fuck was wrong with me
What if there are locks you pleb?

Moral of the story: Don't be a weednigger.
wow 74k amazing wow
Jesus christ lol

why does everything have to have semen on it
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>Agree to buy 3 grams for $50.
>Meet in the cafeteria bathroom before homeroom.
>Get 2 grams for $50. 15 years old and close enough.
>drug dogs sweeping the school that day. Fuck.
> fuck fuck.
>hide in deoderant in my gym locker.
> dont get caught
>weed tastes like old spice
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underated post
Youre a fucking tool. None of that shit happened. I've had sex with PLENTY of girls but that shits over the top. You're just sharing your bro dreams
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fuck greentext im newfag so don't hate if I fuck up or be fag

Freshman year.
Ghetto school filled with ghetto kids.
I am poor white kid. Fat, 4/10, speech problems, the whole nine yards. Except not tard, actually passed all classes with B+ and A.
Don't have too many friends, I'm shy as hell.
Really good friend, Spanish American, 7/10, nice tits, rlly smart gaming nerd, my type 100%.
Talking casually with her at lunch at table alone.
Intense, nice convo.
Suddenly, I make an accidental sex joke.
She begins taking sexxxy as a joke.
Evolved from there, even sexxier talk.
Ended up rubbing up her leg, she's looking round keeping lookout.
Start rubbing hand on crotch.
Looks me in the eye and smiles slightly.
She wants fat autist dick.
End up going to bathroom, lock door from inside.
Go in stall.
I bend over.
She rubs her dick around the outside of my anus.
I'm ready.
She shoves her dick in my ass.
It hurts, and I begin to bleed.
I suddenly was on my period.
I tell her to stop, she keeps pounding.
She finishes, and out spills blood and semen.
I clean up.
She died the following class.
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Thank you for the advice
you were a really cool 15 year old
> be sophomore. Baseball season.
> Find locker room master key during practice one say.
> Use key on girls lockers. Softball sluts. Steal panties, fap with them, never sure which bitch.
> gets to be next year, football/volleyball season.
> away vball, home hand egg. Nearly Boner in shower after game when remember key.
> drive home, walk back at 145 after cleaning staff and volley-bitches left.
> Armed with key, small flashlight, metal hanger.
> all lockers named. Find popular hot ass senior's locker with panties visible.
> hanger makes lock useless. Fish out white stretchy panties. Is thong.
> Fap immediately. Blow load in crotch. Return to spot with hanger.
> repeat literally dozens of times before graduation.
> by end of high school have cum in nearly every athletic girls panties.
> never caught.
> feels good, man.
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>be sophomore in high school
>hate my school with burning passion
>group of friends and I always wreak small havoc and inconvenience people.
>I get "creative" one day and decide to do a little science experiment
>open abandoned locker in hallway of computer science class next to side exit door
>take tuna sandwich out of my lunch
>chuck that shit in that with all my strength
>looks like the remains of an hero jumper all over the inside of the locker
>slam locker shut
>check up on it periodically over the course of 3 weeks
>the smell is horrendous and makes a girl throw up in the 2nd week.
>get curious as to what it looks like
>blue fur everywhere. this shit came to life and started its own ecosystem.
>after 3 day weekend come back
>sandwich is gone and there's a new camera installed in the ceiling right next to the exit door.
Top fucking kek
>>never learnt anything
>Middle School
>Gifted and Talented camp, kids from all middle schools around the metro area
>Whole day event
>Shit in urinal for the fucks of it
>Chaperone insists no one leaves until culprit fesses up
>Another chaperone points out a kid I knew, I let him fall for it
>Kid eventually changes schools, labelled as weird

>Second grade
>Porn addict already (Thanks to my dad, long story)
>Convince guy to come into guys bathroom with me
>You suck me, I will suck you. Seen it in movies, girl does to guy and it feels good
>Kid blows me
>I run off
>Kid switched schools before 3rd grade was over

>High school
>OutKast, as always
>Lots more pissing and shitting inappropriately to ruin people's day
>Fucking MILFs
>Fucking girls from my school, other school
>Fucking cheerleader behind her wrestler boyfriend's back
>Fight one wrestler, e-z peasy
>Suspended from school once, got weed laced with PCP, got sick at school, convinced them I was drunk
>Harassed a kid until he said he'd shoot me and my friends up, then reported him
>Harassed group of friends on bus
>Follow them home, they talk shit but run inside
>Kick door open to house, broke frame of door
>Talk to detective about it, lie
>Wrestler who's ass I beat takes the fall
>Get off bus at same kids' stop
>Sucker punch him, tell him never snitch on me
>Later fight his other friend in front of his house, tae kwon do vs tae kwon do on ice
>Ruin kids clothing by taking him down to the ground
>His mom yelling at me the whole time from the porch

Oh god, I have so many stories. Weird thing is I became a druggy and now have a physics degree and am getting a PhD in chemistry lol. And did a brief stint in professional porn. (Not even fucking dudes, neither).
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>> be me 11th grade
>> schools local drug dealer
>> Late night had to leave right after school
>> Had to bring my stash with me to school
>> Put 2lbs inside the door panel of a honda prelude
>> Drug dogs come
>>Come to class room and call my name
>>Want to search my car
>>I said ok
>>walking kind fast in front of them
>> Take off running
>> Pull fire alarm
>> Jump in car
>> Burn tires out of the parking lot
>> Hit the locked gate
>> Fly down a side road
>>Rip door panel off and throw the 2 bricks out
>> Drive off
>>Cops show up .. no evidence
>> Got supended for a week and had to pay for broken gate
This is so obviously fake it isn't funny. No one else in the class saw you do it? Bullshit you faggot.

Most of the stories in this thread are so fake it isn't even funny. Like I don't mind listening to a fake story and all, but at least make it creative and realistic, damn.
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i did a common thing like that a few years back. threw a sofa into a pool, took a crane to get it out
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this guy
no idea why I did it but when my best friend was making out with his girlfriend I felt her up, some pussy rubbin
Hahaha. Oh god, that's awesome. Would be better if they put them on right after you came. Should have done it between practise on them.
What school anon? You sound familiar
Best thread I've seen in ages, bravo and sweet dreams /b/
dont believe a god damn thing you just posted
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
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i'm fucking dead
Some men love cuck, others don't. Those who don't are destroyed by it.
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> Be me, 15, male, white straight
> walk into bathroom, put seat down on toilet
> start making a layer of toilet paper on the seat
> piss on floor, shit on the seat (onto the paper)
> pick up the paper, with shit and proceed to seethrough soap dispensers
> shit evenly distributed between the three dispensers
> faecal matter stayed for a few days
> wanked over the irony of the whole situation

See how the greentext went.....
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not really fucked up eh
>be last year of high school
>everyone is going to six flags
>be super quiet and depressed
>attempt suicide and fail
>decide not to go to six flags because i know ill be left out and it'll be awkward
>everyone gets on the buses to go
>i just stall and walk away from everyone else and just start walking home
>nobody notices even the security guards
:/ at least i got to go home early
New greentext b&?
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Drop your initials or shoot me a message on fb saying hey.
Tell me the school
Goddamn, I miss middle school.
Don't you have fb?
then the city at least
>made a girl so nervous that she had a stroke and lost almost all her memory of the past 5 years
> threw a jacket covered with bird shit on a friend at pe
>drew a penis in a bathroom stall
>littered everwhere
>drew rule 32's of certain teachers and students and hid them throughout the campus
>took acid during algebra class where I had a teacher who did literally nothing but sit in his desk and go on the computer
>ran around yelling rape at over and over again at the top of my lungs during the last day of school while running through everyone
tfw your name is Riley

Lotta the girls kept panties for practice and games. Know with near certainty they wore my dried cum.

> one time happened through while cheerleaders were making posters before pep rally.
> balls instantly swell
> sneak in. Fap in basketball player/cheerleader hybrid's black lacey thong sitting on top of the jeans she wore to.
> blow huge load. Place them back
> pep rally ends. Cheer-hos leave in plain clothes. Never sure, but Fap to idea for months.
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Ehh ill post one..
kinna long but i thought it was hilarious when i did it.

>in 9th grade
>'Computer class'
> teachers a feminist black chick about 40y/o
> class consists of typing, essays, speed courses and how to use random word apps
>teach plays music
>lets students give her CDs as long as they're completely clean
>everyone's music taste is fucking horrible, britney spears, nsync, nickleback, sisqo, you get the idea
>wishing i could take a cheese grater to my eardrums
>notice all the computers still have speakers attached
>suddenly idea
>starting to learn basic programming because I'm a loser and have no friends in school
>later that day i get home
>spend all day trying to think of how i could do plan and not get in trouble
>figure ill have to be sneaky, pretty hard for a fat kid
>wait for lunch, grab food from backpack, shove in face casually as im walking through the halls
>get to room, nobodies around, they're all in the cafeteria or outside.
>go in, pull out USB stick, move to a random folder in every computer
>after lunch go back to home room
> next class is black ladies.
>slowly make way to class
>don't wanna be the first cus paranoid as fuck.
>half way down the hall
>easy fix right? turn off speakers.
>not a single teacher knows how to use a computer properly
>no more sound from computers, no more shitty music without endless beeps
>go back one day during lunch
>superglue all the dials at maximum
>thiers no reason for this, why am i doing it
>do it anyway
>by the time class comes
>ok everyone turn on your computers
>soon as computers come to login screen
>cacophony of endless loud as fuck beeps
>nobody can turn down sound
>teacher tells everyone to unplug their speakers
>i glued those too
>endless aggravation, class cancels
>whole class gets ISS for 3 days and were meant to do a huge essay on vandalism and why its wrong.
>no more shitty music in class
>no regrets
>mfw everyone bitched
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>go to school for several years
>since grade 2 this one kid has been an antagonist to me and later the friends I developed
>by grade 11 he was a complete piece of shit
>I was in a completely unstable situation
>gf/woman I loved cheated on me
>kid made fun of me for it
>skipping class to deal with teenage angst
>see kid walking towards stairs
>sneak up behind him
>as he sets foot out to go down stairs I kick him in the fucking back of the knee
>he goes down HARD
>I haul ass the fuck out of there
>wasn't caught
>kid is paralyzed
>17 years ago and I give no fucks
That's how you teach them, anon. I was like that too and someone put a mechanical pencile down my crack

Mortified I wore a belt the next day and there after.

I had no idea I was scaring children with my hairy ass.
Short story

Be in grade 12 weight lifting class. Grade 9 girls gym class is also in my time slot. They're playing volleyball. qt 3.14, blonde thin tall thing is playing really well during open gym. She's taller. Think she is peer tutor. Hit on her. Get number.

Start flirting. She's kinda shy. We chill after class waiting for bus. We start going to obscure parts of the school. Kiss her, makeout. We don't talk much. Eventually get her to come home with me after class. Get her home. Press her against the wall and go at it. BJ, eat her. Her tits were so soft. Almost fuck her. She won't budge though.

Bring her home a couple days later again. We go and she tells me to be gentle since I'm big. "Uhh, sure". Get wet, slide in. She screams. Bleeds. She's a virgin. "The fuck. Why didn't you tell me?" "I didn't want it to be awkward". We just chill while I put my fucking bed sheets in the bath tub with cold water trying to get blood out. Fuck it. Washing machine on cold.

We start talking, we never talk about actual things. Ask her what she's taking for electives. She says an elective only first years can take. Ohshit.jpg. "blondy, how old are you?" "14" "....shit." Realize she's cool with it and we keep banging till I move away for uni.
+1 2813842136
Call me for lols
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