[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Home]
4chanarchives logo
ITT: We tell greentext stories about fucked...
Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network issues. Refreshing the page usually helps.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

Thread replies: 284
Thread images: 69
File: 1413754435019.gif (2 MB, 330x260) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
2 MB, 330x260
ITT: We tell greentext stories about fucked up people we've met in our lives. I wanna hear something good, but I'll start with something shitty.

>Be me
>Be maybe 16
>Go downtown to meet my lil asian qt3,14 friend
>There's a whole bunch of emo people there
>I was kinda into the scene at the time, but mostly cause of music
>Asian friend is actually fun, but retards are attracted to her
>See one hot un in the crowd
>I catch her checking me out every now and again, she gives me like long looks, and doesn't even break eye contact when I catch her staring
>She wants the penus
>Have ok day despite weeaboos and emos, get home
>Mystery girl has added me on facebook and sent me a message
>"you're a cutie"
>I sure am.
>Wank and plan to meet her again near asian friends house
>I get there early to hang out with asian friend
>Hear ring on door, look out window, she's standing there waiting for me
>This is kinda ok
>We have to go outside because asian friend is being fucking asian
>Wander around outside, it's fucking cold
>She's clinging onto me for warmth
>Come here silver toungue
>Start making out heavy
>Find a bench, sit down
>Keep making out, I'm groping her tits, she's moaning
>Hey baby it's really cold, can I stick my hand under your sweater to get warm
>"yes anon"
>Fondle hear tits, move down to pussy
>start rubbing her panties
>You wanna suck my cock?
>"idk anon.."
>Before I can persuade her, her phone rings and she has to go
>shiet, alright.
>go home, thinking that was ok, maybe get more next time
>Get home, open facebook
>fucking shitstorm of epic proportions

yes pls

fucking continue faggot!
File: image.jpg (95 KB, 600x338) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
95 KB, 600x338
Monitoring thread
File: image.jpg (52 KB, 599x820) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
52 KB, 599x820
continur op
>Like 20 messages from people I don't know, one from my asian friend
>Anon wtf did you do
>Froze my fucking ass off, what's going on?
>Lil miss bitch has been telling everyone you tried to rape her in the park
>My fucking face when
>Tell her that's a fucking lie, cause it was
>She believes me because she knows me better than psycho chick
>God bless you lil asian cutie
>She's friends with everyone who messaged me, tells all of them to fuck off, and it's a dirty lie
>Psycho bitch gets fucking shunned big time
>be 21
>sitting home alone drinking right now
>have to work in 6 hours
>go on 4shit
>scroll down
>ITT: We tell greentext stories about fucked up people
>post about OP
>OP finds out and cries
>OP is kill
File: image.jpg (95 KB, 800x473) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
95 KB, 800x473
a nice dodge by op! jahahah! op u made me lols! nice works!!!
File: 1339203998.jpg (35 KB, 525x481) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
35 KB, 525x481

You did rape her she was to intimidate to say no or stop. Its still rape op.
>be around 19
>just got job as mall security guard
>get seriously baked in the morning because i'm fucking retarded
>forget where the mall is
>stop and ask some blazed as fuck jamaican guy on the street for directions
>"ya ganja man i's show ya"
>he leads me into a dark alleyway
>he pulls out a tablet covered in duct tape
>"ya man here's where tha mall at man"
>starts watching saw and begins furiously masturbating
>i'm feeling sick but in my blazed state i start watching too
>getting really into the movie
>gets to climax of movie
>he still hasn't cum yet but whatever
>"ya man i love what the james wan does with movie man"
>suddenly remember i have to go to work
>ask for directions again
>"ya man you like the james wan, he direct good"
>"nigga where the mall at"
>"the mall? watch saw with me. then we watch second. good man good man"
>"nigga where the fuckin mall"
>he looks me dead in the eye as he begins to spooge
>"if you've seen wan, you've seen ya mall"
File: image.jpg (119 KB, 960x720) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
119 KB, 960x720
but... what is if op was not kills!!!???? hahA
File: feelens.jpg (7 KB, 250x245) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
7 KB, 250x245
File: image.jpg (59 KB, 427x640) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
59 KB, 427x640
I hear ya anon. I once hooked up with a girl who literally blew me in front of people and asked me how many fingers i could get inside her while fucking. The next day she tried to pull the rape card but luckily our mutual friend who was there told her she was full of shit. Girls do weird shit man. They get carried away and then try to say someone else forced them into something they feel awkward about. You probably fingered that girl for the first time or she was hoping you would say i love you before asking for a bj.
sorry that was short, was afraid of thread dying.
>Some time passes, I don't talk to psycho bitch anymore but still friends on facebook for some reason
>She slowly manages to get old friends back
>idc, move on with my life
>One day out of the blue she messages me again, asking me what's up
>nm, just swagging out
>"Oh lol, teehee"
>what the fuck
>She acts like nothing's ever happened
>Start talking casually for a couple days
>Still weirded out by her fucking change though
>One day decide to find out wtf is going on, I ask her wtf happened that night
>Oh lol, yeah, I forgive you for that, water under the bridge
>you wot
>Tell her that's fucking bullshit
>Ask her why she lied to everyone
>She doesn't reply
oh noez
Like i said she was to intimidated to say no. You raped her bro.
Finger rape is not real rape man. Sexual salt at best.
>A long time passes, I've gained a shit ton of weight in the meantime
>Suddenly gets message from her again
>Still acting like nothing
>It's been a while, so I don't care
>She asks me if I can come see her
>err, okay, where?
>The Mental Hospital
>Alarm bells are ringing now, but it's a government building, so it's safe, I think
>Go there, tell them I'm there to see Sandra
>No one here by that name sir
>Excuse me
>Oh, but are you anon?
>Oh right, anonette signed you up as a visitor, follow me
>The name I'm given is fucking serbian or something, I've never heard it before in my life
>Suddenly feel really weird about the whole thing, not sure what to do
>Curiosity wins, and I follow the nurse
This is why I need feminism.
no, she was okay with that, she was smiling while I did it, it wasn't until I hinted for a bj that she got a lil set back, but I did say it was ok if she didn't wanna, I'm actually more beta than I make myself sound like.
And just you wait, I'm not done yet, you'll understand what kind of person she is soon enough
Ok, calling bullshit here
File: Sophists!.jpg (133 KB, 620x448) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
133 KB, 620x448
Quit Raping rape.
Rape = Forcible Intercourse, of any flavor.
He may have molested her.
If my girlfriend weedles my into buying her an expensive trinket, it is not robbery.
You feminists need to stop redefining words that have powerful meanings because
A, it makes you sound retarded
B it lessens the meaning of the word when it would be accurate to describe it
C, no one cares for your shitty sophistry.
So the door bell rang. I answered the door and it was a Girl Scout selling cookies. I asked her how much and she said about three fiddy. Then I noticed she wasn't a Girl Scout at all she was that God dang Loch Ness monster again.
fucking lost my shit
Oh shit nigger this is bad

These stories take place often around my birthday.

>Be in third grade
>Having a good time playing on the slide
>Friends there too
>Some asshats come over
>Try to push me off slide
>Keep in mind that would be atleast an 11ft drop
>I dont move and they kick me
>Im getting kicked by two people and I cant move because Ill fall
>They get bored and take my glasses
>Pop out lenses and smash them, bury frame
>I cried
>My birthday present given to me was just destroyed
>it was my fucking birthday

Fast forward to age 13
>Hanging with friends
>Same ass-hats come over
>this time they have a girl
>Girl says some shit about me and one off them comes over
>He trips me, but I land on top of him chipping my tooth in the process
>I was beating the shit out of my bully
>I was literally about to be able to lay down epic destruction on his face (he was pinned below me)
>Girl I like comes over and all of her friends
>They freak out at me for "bullying him"
>They all hate me
>I freak out and cuss them all out
>I sit down and cry silently head in between my legs
>I tried to kill myself when I got home
>Everyone from that point of my life still hates me (hatred started from me being middle class in a white trash neighborhood)
>I left that school, and great friends with awesome people
>I'm glad I didn't kill myself.
>*and made great friends with awesome people
Good for you anon.
Gtfo with your happy ending
Hurry the fuck up op
Hurry the fuck up OP
>Nurse guides me through the corridores and we arrive in the place where the resident rooms are
>Excpect nurse to open one of the rooms, but instead goes into the small rec room
>I follow because why not
>In the rec room there was a bed
>On that bed there was a psycho bitch
>Nurse leaves and I tell her to explain
>Oh yeah, I hate my name, so I just tell people my name is Sandra
>Something clicks, and I realize I'm a fucking idiot
>She's a fucking pathological liar, that's why she lied about me, her name and everything
>Talk about stuff while I'm there, but constantly checking the time to see when I can appropriately leave
>Fucking weirded out at this point
>After maybe half an hour I say I gotta go
>She looks devastated and asks me to stay
>"no really, I gotta-"
>She slowly lets the side of her top fall so I can almost see a nip
>How dare you
>Pretend like I didn't see it
>Meet nurse in the hallway
>I ask her about why she's here and why the fuck she's in the rec room and not a room room
>Nurse said psycho bitch said she was fucking psychotic and acted crazy enough to be admitted (can't admit yourself in that facility
>And the rec room? Well, apparently when the nurses tried putting her in a normal room she went mad and attacked them, demanding to get the rec room, so they wheeled a bed in there
>What the fuck

I talked to her some more about a year ago, but that's about 2 years after this event, greentext comin up
Bump damnit dont you 404 on me till finished
File: 1.jpg (36 KB, 500x500) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
36 KB, 500x500
I'll boot
> Be 16 getting drunk with a few friends
> only about 8 or 9 people but still good night
> all get pretty fucking drunk and chubby 6/10 chick and skinny tight 8/10 chick start making out
> tell me to join them
> spaghetti everywhere
> best night of my life
> then it kinda got shitty cos 8/10 got to wasted then started crying about ex
> ah well still got the 6/10 who mind you is a fucking psychopath but I found out a little too late
> we go into one room and start sexing
> this bitch starts moaning the fucking house down
> friend who I'll call H walks in
> I tell him to get out then I close the door then lock it
dafuck not in my house
> it was his house we were drinking at
> "let him in" the 16 year old slut says
> ok then 3some
> then me and my friend proceed to chuck this slut on the spit like the despicable fat pig she is
> afterwards I get dressed walk home like I'm hot shit
> next morning messages from a few mutual friends
> mostly like "oi anon what the fuck did you do to 6/10? She's telling everyone you raped her"
> then I send her a text asking why shes spreading all this shit but thought it might of been some joke
> "you did anon"
> oh yeah we gonna play this game
> remind her if the night before and tell her if she keeps spreading shit I'll smash her fucked up teeth on the ground and I have H as a back up witness if she keeps talking shit
> she says she's sorry I politely tell her to fuck off
> tfw I get a call at 2 in the morning a month later from 8/10 qt 3.14 who is with 6/10 slag saying they're both up for a threesome
> hate fuck the 6/10 while she licks out 8/10 then cum in her mouth

I didnt rape her /b/ros honest
File: 1410117737476.png (198 KB, 382x386) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
198 KB, 382x386
>be 6th grade
>annoying faggot trying to be cool and shit
>some kid knew this and pointed it out by falling me a faggot
>i rage and tell on him
>"johnny called me gay"
>principal, johnny's parents, and i have a meeting
>we are waiting for johnny
>johnny comes in
>wrong johnny
>it's a johnny that i was bro's with.
>pricipal tells johnny's parents
>johnny is crying but does not say anything
>i tell them that they got the wrong guy
>'its ok anon, if he is threatening you, you can tell us
>4 years later
>high school
>meet the framed johnny
>he was gay
>came out of the closet before that incident
>i felt like shit
>i still feel like shit even though i hate fags.
>Be me
File: image.jpg (33 KB, 540x407) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
33 KB, 540x407
Good for rolling w the punches.
Bump nigs
holy christ
>Be me
>cant sleep, have cold
>see this thread
>OP is faggit
>Kills self
So I barely talked to her after that visit, alot of her friends told me that she'd pulled similar stuff in the pants, and never to trust her. Year or two later we start talking again, now I'm just kinda interested to see how weird she is

>Start having casual conversations again
>I complain about being fyat
>She complains about utterly inane shit, like
>Demons visiting her, how scared she is of her ex the axe murderer, and her heroin addiction
>I decide to lose weight, tell her
>"Anon, if you lose weight I'm going to let you fuck me. In my mouth, pussy or ass, I don't care"
>What the seriously fucked up fuck
>I don't fucking know how to respond, so I go "ok"
>Deal then, apparently
Fast forward a few months, I lose about 50 pounds
>She messages me, tells me it's about time we fucked
>Errr, ok?
>"Can't be right now though, I'm in another part of the country in rehab"
>Right, that's bullshit
>It actually isn't
>She wanted people to believe she was a heroin addict so much she became a heroin addict
>I ask her wtf is wrong with her
>"lol idk, I'm insane"
>fucking cringe crazy
A month or two later she comes back to the old town >
File: 1414041695320.png (840 KB, 1314x3754) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
840 KB, 1314x3754

>Hate fuck the 6/10
Been there before.
File: image.jpg (53 KB, 640x648) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
53 KB, 640x648
OP confirmed for 1-finger typer
>similar stuff in the pants
actually past
>be me, 17
>just broke up w/ gf cuz i dont like the puss
>figure i must be gay or something
>meet qt emo guy on vampirefreaks
>shoot the shit
>dude's into me holy shit
>dude's into bdsm, cool
>dude's... trans. uh
>turns out dude has a vag
>tells me he would never have me touch it
>links me to some Gravitation BDSM smutfic, it's p hot
>chat with him for a year
>he pays for a bus ticket for me to travel halfway across the country to see him
>do it
>he has me wearing collars, leading me around everywhere on a chain, handcuffing me to the bed to finger my asshole
>cool shit man
>tells me he's a fucking vampire
>iron deficiency or some shit
>dude sucks on fucking raw meat sometimes
>dude says one time he almost killed a fucking cat once the craving was so bad
>im mallgoth and think that's hot so whatever
>fucking takes an Xacto blade to my shoulder
>cuts out a little x and starts sucking
>still have scars
>at his friend's house
>slumber party for b-day, cool
>bitch starts FREAKING OUT
>snarling, snapping, etc
>like a fucking Dawn of the Dead remake zombie
>suddenly i get it
>the bitch needs blood
>carry him out a few blocks away
>hold him close to me
>let him fucking bite into my jugular
>shit hurts like a motherfucker
>no blood
>he eventually comes out of it
>says i'm stupid for letting him do that
>go home
>favorite some upskirt pic of a crossdressed Sasuke on deviantArt my friend drew
>dude throws a fit
>says I'm to cease all contact with the artist
>break up with him
>now he's "genderqueer" and it turns out he was just a yaoi fangirl looking to live out the fantasy
Fuck man.

I've known crazy, but I've never known THIS level of crazy. Although, I do have my suspicions about this girl I met in an area code thread a few years ago. I found out later she was a huge cam whore and used to post a ton of nudes.

She mentioned being in and out of rehab... hmmm
File: bait3.png (136 KB, 622x626) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
136 KB, 622x626
good response but anon

its bait
I hate bitches who can't fucking tell truth from lie, make them an hero or something, same thing with all le autists and downers and retards
>kill the tards
>what did a tard ever do to you?
>took my money so he can sit there and drool thats what
>this girl my friends showed me
>they call her "gangbang groupie"
>she will fuck any guys who are in bands
>not even like big bands or anything
>even just dudes who jam together and shit
>shes a serious landwhale with half her hair dyed pink, the other half is black
>would swear shes some kind of gothic lesbian if i didnt know otherwise
>numerous stories about whole teams of guys doing her at once
>does it infront of people and shit too
>full blown attention whore
>rumor went around that she fucked this group of like 15 year old kids in a screamo band a few years back and let them tape it
>Convinced one day itll land her in jail
>3 of my friends have fucked her at various points
File: 1408934338872.jpg (24 KB, 506x513) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
24 KB, 506x513
>You wanna suck my cock?
>I hinted for a bj


File: image.jpg (20 KB, 320x240) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
20 KB, 320x240
>fag with cold aswell reporting in
Bump, don't fucking 404 on me OP
Man gay kids had way more interesting teenage years than me

I have a similar story:

>be me
>used to be chubby in High School
>lose a bunch of weight and start attracting the ladies
>first half of senior year
>start dating this girl named Maria
>she's easily a 7/10 in the face, 10/10 body
>date for about 3 months
>farthest we've ever gone is first base
>starting to get impatient at this point and want to see her tits like crazy (must have had a pair of nice D cups, easy)
>one day, go over to her house
>go upstairs onto her couch and watch TV with her
>her parents and sister are home, so we really can't do anything major, like have her suck my dick since her sister keeps on going downstairs and back up for some reason
>whatever, i'll deal with making out for now
>opportunity arises to whip out them titties for once
>they're glorio-
>she has hair around her nipples
>like, long, black hairs
>grab one, slightly pull on it, and ask "what's this?"
>she giggles and tells me that girls can have hair on their nipples as well
>whatever, hair can be shaven, I just want to touch these bad boys
>sister starts to come up, so we quickly re-adjust
>nothing else happens for the rest of the night
>everything went pretty good

sjw detected
File: 1395252884392.png (70 KB, 332x300) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
70 KB, 332x300
another story
>12th grade
>spanish teacher assistant
>help freshman class
>become a ballah there
>all the chicks digg me even though they were all a 7 or less
>banged the 7 but thats not important
>one day i got a message on fb by one of the girls
>she's one of the top 3 best looking, she says that she wants to suck my cock n shit
>finally get her alone with me in my car
>she is jerking me off
>tells me all these weird stories about how she use to cut and how her uncle raped her.
>freaking me out i cant get hard
>try to get her to shut up by making her suck my cock
>she starts crying saying "no"
>i try to kick her out but then she says "im sorry i'll do it"
>throw her out of the car and leave.
haha... you got glasses for your birthday.
theres numerous incidents involving this next guy. some ive witnessed. others ive only been told about

>Friend has a habit of calling his weed dealer when we're at parties
>only time i ever see this guy is with friends weed dealer
>Weed dealer is like 6ft 5 man-bear
>built like a brick shithouse but total heart of gold guy
>is followed everywhere by this like below 5ft troll motherfucker we'll call J
>J is seriously under 5ft and a total microcosm of friends dealer
>looks like he could be his mini-me style clone of some shit but instead of being hulked out hes skinny as fuck
>never talks
>only stares

>at house party
>Sitting in livingroom with friends
>just drinking with music on
>girls we know are all wasted and dancing in the middle of the livingroom
>totally overdoing the whole "we're so drunk its not gay" shit girls do by grinding and dry humping one another and shit
>Doing my best to ignore it
>im on sofa next to the door
>friend is on sofa beside it against the wall beside the door
>sitting talking
>J walks in
>Stands between the sofas just staring at girls for a minute
>they dont ntoice him
>friend and i are watching him intently
>he sits down on sofa next to friend
>just stares at girls
>we resume talking
>he sits and stares at them for a solid half hour
>eventually notice he infact has his hand at the side of him facing away from me down his pants
>he is quite clearly jerking off in his pants
>pressure friend to roll a joint just for an excuse to go outside
>explain to him outside why i was so eager
>J walks into kitchen as we come back into the house
>he is wearing like cotton sweatpants
>there is a noticeable wet mark on his crotch
>he is just staring at other girls
>this time he puts his left hand in his pocket and starts fumbling with his dick
>nope like fuck and make excuse to leave party

more to come
10/10 b8
File: Resentment.png (147 KB, 361x375) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
147 KB, 361x375
>Messages me and tells me to come over to her house and fuck her
>I actually want to just do this to be able to say I did it
>Decide to make sure she can't fuck me over though, cover my bases
>Just as I say I'm coming over, she says she's not home anymore
>Where the fuck are you then?
>My girlfriends house
>I don't fucking understand this fucking bitch, seriously
>Ask her wtf, why'd she invite me over
>Cause this is the plan, you can come over and fuck us both, one after the other! We want your cock in our tight little asses, anon
>This turns me on, but I'm not retarded
>I know for a fact she actually means it
>But if I do it, what happens then?
>Can't even imagine what her crazy mind could think of doing
>Tell her I can't, threesomes are a turn-off to me
>Not true btw
>She gets all sad
>I actually don't care, fuck you
>Tell her I'm sorry but what can ya do
>Nothing happens
>During the next couple of weeks she sends me a bunch of nudes saying she's bored, to come fuck her ass and pussy, etc
>I dare not
>Stop communicating entirely
>Last I saw from her was a picture from snapchat with a heroin needle on a laptop, with the text: "On the needle again then, hehehe"

It's seriously fucking creepy how some people are completely out of touch with reality sometimes.
swindlers list
File: image.jpg (125 KB, 480x824) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
125 KB, 480x824
Op= self justifying raping faggot
>be chillin outside, tell bouncer bro I have to take a piss
> receive text while pissin "Play along"
>Oh lawd what now
> see regular cunt outside, bouncer bro obviously giving her a hard time because she treats the wait staff like shit and tips even worse
>go outside bouncer bro trying to explain that what shes wearing appears to be gang affiliated clothing
>force myself to not fall to the floor laughing
>she asks me to let her in
>ma'am considering the amount of gang activity in the area I have to agree with my coworker, if youd like to go home and cha-
>NO! I'm calling the police and yall gon be arrested for racism
>cops called they show up
> shes yelling at the cops telling them to arrest us for not letting her in and generally being a giant cunt
> copbro talks to us, tell him we've had issues in the past with her, cop goes total bro mode because the cunt is still yelling and whooping about like a monkey
>"So what did you tell her?"
> Explain the clothes spiel
> He holds back a laugh then returns to the cunt
> "Ma'am these gentlemen are perfectly within their rights to deny you service at this establishment"
> fuck yeah mental high five to bro cop
> "...ma'am they can reserve that right against any person they feel will ***blah blah blah legal jargon*** if youd like to make a complaint I can take your information down and file it with the city
>"Yes Imma sue they asses"
>Ok I need your ID and I'll go ahead and do that
>she argues with cop about needing her id but finally gives it up
>turns out cunt had a warrant for something
>she's arrested brocop comes in a few days later off duty and gets a few drink courtesy of the security and wait staff
My wifi is so fucking shit you wouldn't believe. but now I'm done though, unless I can think of more stuff that happened while I go take a piss
OP for the love of god FUCK

Why do you hate fags? Is it specifically the overly gay flamoyant type or all fags?

I'm not gay myself and definitely not a moralfag but I can't help but wonder. I mean if you said you hated niggers I could actually sort of understand, but why fags? Got molested when you were younger or something?
fucing hairy nopples fucking shit fuck that shit bro no thank you im fucking outta here man
I just wrote it like that initially to save time, my hints were drawn out, so I don't wanna fucking write everything down. It's also like 4 years ago, hard to remembah
pics or it didnt happen
you know you still have them cunt
Post her snapchat
I dont like fags because they are delusional. I dont care if they are open, i dont care if they get married, i just want them to accept that their life style in abnormal and morally questionable.
File: Feels goodman.jpg (54 KB, 475x360) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Feels goodman.jpg
54 KB, 475x360

>She wanted people to believe she was a heroin addict so she became a heroin addict

Lost it at this part. Love your stories, OP! Keep it up!

I just lost my shit.
I might, unless I deleted them when I got with my current gf, she's alil nosy
But if I do, they're on my former computer, now deceased
this I can do, it's psychospeech, I believe.
Bear in mind, she changes online accounts all the time, it might not be in use anymore.
Lets see the dik
File: 2018.jpg (124 KB, 507x960) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
124 KB, 507x960
I come from a fairly rural area, kind of low class.

>the last couple months of 8th grade
>been friends with these 7th grade sluts the whole year
>flirting was going into overdrive last few weeks, they all want to fuck
>jokingly propose an orgy with all four of them, they're down for it
>after a week finally one of the girls parents wont be there after school
>2 girls chicken out, I go with 2 of the sluttier ones back to the big tittied one's house
>goddamnit, another time I guess anon
>I walk home with the last girl
>"you know anon, you could do anything you want to me and I wouldnt stop you."
>holy shit seriously?
>hide in an alley near her house
>start groping the shit out of her tits and ass, kissing her
>get into her pants and start rubbing her snatch through her panties
>wearing a blue thong zomg dis slut (remember this was in like 2000, thongs werent as common especially on middle schoolers)
>finger bang the shit out of her
>take her home like a gentleman
>continue fucking around with her until schools over, never did end up having sex but did everything else
>fall out of touch with that whole group since i went to high school the next year

>friends birthday party
>in some shitty restaurant/ bar place
>nowhere to smoke
>show up with stoner friend
>say hello and shit
>Stay for meal and few drinks
>make excuse to cut out to meet dealer
>meet dealer a few streets away
>pick up shit and go to leave
>as we turn around other people whod been at the party walk into the street
>theyre going to some girls house
>her parents are in Cancun for a month
>she is throwing an afterparty
>invites us and weed dealer and his troll sidekick
>we decide itll be better than the actual party and go
>dealer has nothing else going on and joins us
>J follows
>everyone is just doing the usual shit of cramming into any room with somewhere to sit or some shit
>girl has no problem with us smoking indoors as long as its in spare bedroom and we open the windows and keep the door closed
>we create a little stoner den in this poor girls house
>myself, friend, dealer and J
>people come and go through the night
>friend find a copy of Spaceballs and puts it on shitty little tv in spare room
>J just stands up and leaves
>"must not like spaceballs..."
>"thats balls"
>we chuckle
>about 15 minutes later hear girls screaming and someone yell "what the fuck?"
>we pile out of the room
>girls are running from downstairs to upstairs
>We go down to see what has happened
>There is this little space beneath the stairs that was at one point a closet
>it has no door on it now and has a chair in it with a light above it
>J is passed out with his face planted in the chair
>knees on the ground
>Ass in the air
>with no pants on
>no fucking idea why
>Dealer find his pants hanging on a coathook in the downstairs bathroom
>shit fucking everywhere
>we rouse him and get him redressed and dealer takes him home
>girl probably had to clean the little trolls shit the next day
>it was literally everywhere
>floors, walls and in the bath
thanks /b/ruv
File: image.jpg (22 KB, 399x382) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
22 KB, 399x382
>"we're so drunk it's not gay"
>holy shit I get so fucking triggered by girls doing that.
I hate drunk women so fucking much

>fast forward to later that night
>get on the computer and get onto myspace (this was around 2005)
>friend of mine asks me what had ahppened between me and Maria
>links me to her Xanga page
>she writes this post saying how she felt as if she was just raped and some other religious bullshit
>people automatically assume that I had raped her
>she gets a bunch of people from school to believe her
>fuck me, this can't be happening my senior year
>nobody but my closest friends believe me
>everybody thinks that I raped her
>I haven't even fucked a chick at all at this point in my life
>feels like my life is completely ruined
>keep going to school with all these rumors floating around
>finally Christmas break comes around, and get away from everything
>go to the mall
>see her there with some of her friends and holding hands with this stronk blonde dude
>this guy can easily beat my ass
>avoid all contact with her
>fast forward a couple of weeks before school starts back up
>find out from a friend that the dude she's dating is from another school district and town altogether
>find out that she's been telling people all these lies, like how I would look at her through her window at night, or how I had verbally abused her all the time
>what the fuck
>couple of weeks fly by and I get a message on myspace
>it's the dude she's dating
>god fucking damnit
>open it and read it
>the dude wants me to talk to him and gives me his number
>call him
>the exact same thing is happening to him
>apparently, whenever he and his mom would go over for dinner, they would somehow always start talking about me, how I was such a terrible person
>mostly, it's her and her mom
>the guys mom tells him to call me and talk to me after they had broken up, because she had a sneaking suspicion that I wasn't the terrible person they had made me out to be
>we talk and bro out for an hours or so

Post those nudes

Hmm... Not sure I get it. I mean how is it morally questionable if it doesn't hurt anybody?


Losing my shit anon
Whats the crazy chick fb or snapchat
File: 1mUwtW_B.jpg (141 KB, 1252x1252) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
141 KB, 1252x1252

>She wanted people to believe she was a heroin addict so much she became a heroin addict

I am fucking rolling ahahaha
never underestimate mombro
thanks for sharing /b/rother
nah, there's always the fucking white knight who has to tell her about the thread
Fake you faggot. Do research before you post.


>she's been getting some of his friends against him, and talking mad shit to everyone all because he broke up with her
>ask him what he did
>he tells me that his dad had passed away when he was younger, and it was a sensitive subject, so he had asked her not to talk about it
>apparently, she brings it up a bunch of times, and the last time she did, it threw him over the edge and he just ended the relationship because she just didn't listen
>end the convo on a good note and I feel as if a huuuuge weight has been lifted from my chest
>go back to school
>everybody who was against me now doesn't believe her shit, because she would always make up these ridiculous stories about me to the point that it just got out of hand
>graduate and live the rest of my life without every having to see that fucking cunt

She was half white, half mexican, and to this day, I have never dated a hispanic chick, even though i'm hispanic myself. Fuck that crazy bullshit, man. Never ever again. Bitches be crazy, i'm tellin' ya.
> do your research
> links to reddit
File: 1346058908235.gif (3 MB, 330x437) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
3 MB, 330x437
>flash forward to my senior year
>go to school with a couple of the girls from before, don't really talk to them
>end up fucking one of them in a patch of bamboo behind a friends house
>afterwards talk to her and see how the rest of those whores are doing
>"didnt you hear anon? Girlwholikesbeingused ran away with some drug dealers"
>find out in the past few years, she would regularly hangout most saturday nights in front of a local bar
>dressed in miniskirts and tube tops
>at age 13/14
>was kicked out of her house after she got caught fucking a 21 year old guy (who apparently got away with it, lucky bastard)
>apparently was starring in some kind of amateur porn for a while (rumored, never could confirm)
>never really talked to any of the girls from that group again after senior year ended

Never did figure out what the hell that girls deal was, but even back in 8th grade I felt like something was off with her. She lacked... something. I really don't think she was joking that day when she said I could do anything I wanted to her.

>this time its my birthday
>friend sand i decide to just go grab some food
>some booze
>call other friends and go back to my place
>people are arriving when friend calls dealer
>friend says the dude is literally just outside the street
>will be right back
>friend returns with dealer
>but no J
>find this odd but happy about it
>everyone is sitting around when the doorbell goes
>joints go out
>weed gets stashed
>people run and hide
>i straighten up
>douse myself in aftershave and answer the door
>its J
>all 5ft of him
>he walks in without saying a word
>walks right over to dealer and sits on the floor next to him
>even dealer looks fucking confused
>no idea how he knew where he was or why hes here
>he has a backpack on too
>we ignore him, more or less, and just chill for the night
>everyone starts to leave
>girl cant find her shoe anywhere
>tell her if i find it ill let her know
>when everyones leaving we notice J isnt there
>scour the whole house looking for him
>nowhere to be found
>he mustve left and we didnt notice
>friends crash on sofas and shit
>in the morning i get woken up by friend pounding on the door
>"dude you have to get up and come see this"
>go downstairs and friends are gathere din the kitchen
>looking into the back garden
>i open the door and look out
>J is lying in the middle of the garden
>covered in vomit
>using a womans shoe as a pillow
>snoring his troll ass off
>boot him awake and tell him he has to go
>he gets up
>picks up the shoe
>And leaves
>never had the heart to tell the girl what happened to her shoe
cont pls
rofl fucking faggot get back to leddit
>Be me
>be brother
>Mom shoots brother
File: 1405491064750.jpg (16 KB, 218x290) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
16 KB, 218x290
>I'm glad I didn't kill myself.

Well I'm sure as hell not
Are you in Chicago by any chance?
>google the title
>reddit discussion about how it's fake comes up first result
>post it
>dumb fucks think you reddit
>lacked something.
A soul perhaps?

You think she was crazy because she was a hybrid or because she was partially hispanic?
>he gets up
>picks up the shoe
>And leaves

fucking died
this is the fucking worst story ive ever read, its not even funny, even if its real, make something better up

That boy ain't right, I tell you hwat.
File: 1413469868177.png (300 KB, 478x482) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
300 KB, 478x482
Oh right, I just remembered one more thing she did, but not to me. won't bother with greentext here.
Apparently she caused my asian cutie friend to lose her boyfriend she was with at the time, because she lied about so much bullshit. To me that was good news, cause he was, and is, a fucking almost legally retarded piece of dumb shit who literally looks like a fucking ape. And it strengthened me and asian cuties bonds when I was there for her as a fellow victim of psychobitch.
For those who are concerned; asian cutie now lives happily with her new boyfriend somewhere else in the country. She actually came to visit a couple of days ago, and we got to hang out and hug and shit, it was sweet
File: image.jpg (54 KB, 500x306) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
54 KB, 500x306
OP moar!
I'm right here, I finished it?

I love a happy ending, OP. Thanks for the closure.
File: W._Edwards_Deming.gif (22 KB, 192x304) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
22 KB, 192x304
I don't buy into metaphysical shit, but if I did, yes, I would say that she was missing a soul. She seriously seemed muted and soulless sometimes.

I was a real white knight when I was a kid, and I would say this is the first event that really changed how I viewed people. I think it makes me kind of fucked in the head, but sometimes I could meet her or someone like her again - someone who would just surrender to me. Back then I wouldn't have known what I could -really- do with someone like that.
last incident worth really mentioning but its a big one

>old friend works away from home
>lives in this shitty 2 bedroom apartment with his (now) fiance who is also friends dealers sister
>phones me
>tells me he proposed to his girlfriend
>theyd been together 4 years
>he wants us all to come to where hes living to celebrate
>We can crash at his if need be
>gather friends and head that weekend
>after going out for drinks and shit we end up back at his place
>innevitably we try and score some weed
>friend cant get ahold of anyone he knows
>his fiance eventually decides shell call her brother
>We're 3 hours away and its 1am but he adores his sister and will do it for the right price
>he agrees and we try and occupy ourselves until he arrive
>around 3:30 he arrives
>with J
>as mentioned this apartment is a tiny 2 bedroom
>there is now 8 people trying to sit in one room
>dealers sister hates the troll
>asks him why he brought him
>like hes his fucking dog dealer replies "i couldnt just leave him at home, hed be lost without me"
>shes not happy
>we decide that since no one has jack shit to do for a few days we'll all head home on the monday morning (its friday night)
>well put up with the nowhere to sleep for a few days
>extra room has 2 single beds and we get a turn a night
>sleep through most of saturday and decide to go out at night again
>while we're out J disappears
>not in a bar or anything just out in the street
>We look for him for an hour
>dealer eventually says "fuck it, hes an adult he can find his own way home"
>hes an adult
>is he though?
>we give up and end up back at the apartment
>2am the door goes
>all 5ft of him
>soaked to the skin
>it isnt raining or anything
>but he looks like hes went swimming fully clothed
>let him in
>friend offers him some clothes to change
>he just shakes his head and sits down in the corner on the floor

good thread OP

g'night anons great thread
My bad your id changed and I was looking for the old one :/
Anyone wanna screencap? I actually thought everyone would just bash this, to me it's just shit that happened
Not op

I think she got it from her mom, and her mom was the her Mexican half, and dad was white. I don't know man, that shit gave me PTSD or some shit close to it until I got closure from her ex.

Ever since then, I had been careful with what girl I ended up with, and constantly asked (up to three times) if the girl I was about to fuck was absolutely sure she wanted to have sex. No way in hell I was ever going through that shit again.

Ever since that day, she has blocked me on every popular social media outlet. I sent her a message about 2-3 years after the event happened asking her why she did what she had done, and she relayed a message to me through her friend to tell me to stop harassing her or else she would call the police and get me arrested for continuous harassment.

Shit's fucked. Last I heard she had been knocked up, but there's no way of being able to find out how fucked her life is now.

lol are you asking us to screen cap for you? You don't know how to do it yourself or something?
his ID changed faggot welcome to halfway down the thread
Fuck off, not op
yeah it is, my internet is just seriously fucked, so it fucked up 4chan for me temporarily. It's also why I took so long.
Then you had sex
>Be me
>16 or 17
>locked up in a psych ward
>first day go to group therapy
>always hated this shit
>lead therapist is talking asks for someone to go first
>boy named Nathan goes
>starts talking about what he did to get locked in here
>Nathan tells a story about what he did
>kid sticks a Chihuahua in a microwave and watches it explode
most fucked up person I've met, he felt no remorse for it
On mobile atm sorry for bad format
I have plenty more stories
Sure thing fag
She had probably been molested. Fuck, you had a free ticket to explore the depths of your depravity and you didn't even know. Bummer.
any Idea why it did that though? My wifi keeps giving me shit, but I thought I had to go into a new window on chrome or something for that to happen
Post the nudes fag OP
So let's talk about your father.
Does the dealers name start with A? I know two people that perfectly fit your description.
see >>575559020

So the fact that you still don't date hispanic women is still because of her or is it more of a coincidence? Do you actively avoid hispanic girls who you'd otherwise have a chance with?
>mfw you are J
OP this is a long goddamn way of saying don't stick your dick in crazy.

No, not with her. First time I had sex was actually with my first girlfriend after graduation, and she was a special kind of crazy. But...that's a story for another night. Let's just say that she believed that she was a vampire, or half vampire, and once had me bite through the skin of her wrist until I broke skin.

She had an amazing ass, that's for sure.
that is literally what it boils down to, ye. that's what I always say when I tell people the story
Thats horrible advice. Crazy is insanely fun to stick your dick in. Just dont let it know where you live or work, and get a burner phone.
nah man. I was actually born in Naperville oddly enough but moved to Glasgow in Scotland when i was 3. That's where this is all taking place.


>the next day we decide to say thanks by buying shitloads of food and cooking dinner for everyone
>J follows us to store and back
>swear to god we hadnt seen him eat a bite in 2 days
>all he did was smoke joints on his own
>We'd all pass our shit but hed smoke 5 skinner joints (pool cues) on his own
>we start making jokes that if he doesnt eat tonight he must be some troll being fueled by pure THC
>friend and I attempt to cook a feast for 8 people using an oven that wont heat up
>a hob that the gas keeps cutting out on and a microwave
>manage to pull out something decent
>everyone has a mountain of shit on their plates
>everything from medallion steaks to breadcrumbed crab to duck fritters
>dealer dumps Js plate infront of him
>we sit and eat in near silence for like an hour
>J doesnt touch his plate
>he tries to light up a joint but dealer hates being around people smoking while he eats
>pinches out joint and tells him to eat
>like watching a guy and his puppy
>we're going to leave around 5pm on monday so we can stay up late and shit that night
>another night of smoking, drinking and chilling
>friends fiance suggests we watch movies or some shit
>Friend is huge movie buff and has enormous collection of amazing movies
>he decides the perfect shit to watch would be apocalypse now
>dealer has never seen it so we put it on
>watch in silence while smoking
>Around the point where the dude find the puppy on the junk boat dealer jumps up
>"where the fuck is J"
>he was sitting in the corner furthest from the door
>no way he could go past without someone noticing
>we check the whole place
>checking under beds and shit
>no sign of him
>dealer freaks out about
>Sister repeats to him "hes an adult remember, hell find his own way home"
>"no he wont though"

cont. once more
Fuck all that. Sauce on that GIF.
File: 1220505005206.jpg (583 KB, 1600x1200) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
583 KB, 1600x1200
Yeah that's what I figured too. Too bad I didn't meet her earlier and learn to take advantage of the situation.

I'm older an wiser now. Too bad I'll probably never have a chance with a young impressionable girl like that again :/

Matt xD
For some reason I'm picturing the dealer as a big black guy, and J looking like Murdoc from gorillaz
Told this one on here a few times before, but..

>Be 9
>Playing about on the playground
>Ground starts shaking
>"Is this a fucking earthquake?"
>Turning around, I realize, no. No it is not.
>It's Count Porkula, dark lord of the fat.
>Porkula was an immensely porky kid with some weird skin condition that made him burn up in the sunlight like a vampire
>Also he hated other kids, no real reason, he was just a dick
>A 300lb dick that was charging towards me with all the speed of a nigger five minutes before KFC closes
>Watch him get closer and closer, then sidestep the pork missile
>Alulard has built up too much momentum to stop
>Smashes into the playground equipment and eats shit, leaving a fucking impact crater
>Helpers rush out and take him inside
>Porkula returns to his XXXL coffin, never to be seen again
Ah. The dudes I know live in Chicago and look and act exactly like how you're describing. I just thought it was funny.
File: 1272775342220.jpg (86 KB, 780x495) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
86 KB, 780x495

Missed out on funholes, didnt use recorder.... FAIL
Im picturing a Jay and Silent Bob kinda thing actually

>"i have his wallet and shit in my car"
>7 of us pile out into the street to look for him
>wander around looking for him until nearly 7am
>dealer calls and end to it
>Says he has his phone
>if he needs help he could call him
>agree thats the best idea
>go back in and crash out
>everyone leaves at 5 as agreed
>we all part ways back home
>ask dealer to call friend when J turns up and let us know hes okay
>he agrees
>3 days go by without any word
>friend calls me
>"J turned up"
>what? where?
>"at dealers house, says he heard the door going at like midnight and answered and he was just standing there and walked in"
>oh fuck
>"says he wont tell him how he got home"

to this day the best idea we have is he hitched it back home or even fucking walked it or some shit. I see the little troll fuck every now and then but as a rule we try to avoid having him around anymore.
What the fuck who gets glasses for a birthday
File: image.jpg (76 KB, 625x626) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
76 KB, 625x626
>implying i give a shit
>linking reddit on /b/

Almost if not everything in here is bullshit. calm your tits faggot
soz guize, idk why my ID changed, but this is all me, the story actually had an ending, don't worry.
nah man. I dont want to give his name away but it starts with an L
>middle class
>living in a white trash trailerpark
pick one
File: 1282810972321.png (74 KB, 199x164) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
74 KB, 199x164
>>Porkula returns to his XXXL coffin, never to be seen again

Nah, I can talk to them just fine, and certainly able to fap to them. With her, it was mostly a "let's try it out" thing, because there was an attraction for sure. I just can't deal with the attitude that comes with the package.

Additionally, I guess I just never persnoally "felt" hispanic myself, and mostly consider myself white. Being around the hispanic culture just isn't my scene.
Hell, my current girlfriend didn't know I was hispanic until a month or so into the relationship. Pretty funny when she found out. Apparently she figured I was Italian or some shit for the longest time.
File: clerks0606.jpg (93 KB, 600x400) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
93 KB, 600x400
I can see that

I don't think so. I'm just checking. Just in case.
>be me
>senior in high school
>just broke up with hd cuz qt3.14 in chem has been making advances and I want clean conscious
>go see that movie where King Kong rips T. rex tongue out with chem girl
>make out in theatre
>drive her home after movie, park in front of her house
>start making out
>start fingering her
>"don't stop, anon"
>comes all over my hand
>"Get in back, anon"
>she takes of my pants and then hers and starts fucking my demons away
>headlights shine on my car
>"shit, anon! My dad!"
>stop and wait for dad to go in house. She gets off and says she should go inside
>next day in class get slapped by chem's girl best friend for "raping her"
File: proof.png (63 KB, 650x198) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
63 KB, 650x198

Nope, not him.
Best thread on /b/ in a while
File: download.jpg (10 KB, 200x251) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
10 KB, 200x251
/b/, have I got some fucking shit for you, I am that fucked up person.

>be me
>I was a loser, started smoking pot, skipping school, getting shit grades
>decide to get a girlfriend for the first time
>she's pretty much perfect for me at the time
>kinda slutty, perfect body type, everything a lonely virgin wants
>after beating around the bush for two weeks, we meet at an elementary school
>I have lube in my backpack bc I heard girls can't give handjobs for shit
>she applies lube
>it's cold because it's fucking December in Canada
>it takes me like 7 minutes to cum bc her grip on my meat is really loose
>when I do cum, it shoots the farthest I have ever seen it shoot
>fucking 2 feet straight up
>into her hair
>she didn't notice
>few days later, I'm being a fucking delinquent as usual
>set fire to school's bathroom
>over 2,000 kids are evacuated
>I get the entire gymnasium full of kids to sing O Tannenbaum to honour Hitler lol
>The same day, the police came to tell me the girl said I raped her
>lol shit
>she said you wanted nude pictures of her
>Anon, she's only 12, she was 11 last week
>mfw when I had sexual stuff happen to me with an 11 year old and set fire to a school causing $20,000 in damage in the same week
File: 9jraXLN.jpg (520 KB, 1259x1080) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
520 KB, 1259x1080
>be me
>be 36
>have a buddy, Degenerate Dave
>Degenerate Dave fucks niggers
>Degenerate Dave prefers 3rd world/Caribbean niggers
>Degenerate Dave works at a high school and fucks students
>High school students use WhatsApp
>Jamaicans use WhatsApp
>Degenerate Dave uses WhatsApp
>Degenerate Dave gets contact on WhatsApp by a "very dark girl with lots of cheap tattoos"
>Turns out this nignog lives nearby, in Brooklyn
>The wog wants to smoke weed
>Degenerate Dave loves, and sometimes sells, weed
>Degenerate Dave asks if the girl is Jamaican
>She says she is from Africa
>Degenerate Dave jokingly says, "not Liberia, right?"
>The nigger says, "Yeah, Liberia, how did you know?"
>Degenerate Dave calls me and tells me the story
>I caution Degenerate Dave to stay away
>Degenerate Dave is drawn to dirty nigger pussy and goes to meet her
>2 days later, Ebola gets diagnosed in NYC

That story kinda sucked.

Now, what's the story with the background of this image? Who are the girls? Is there moar? Inquiring perverts want to know.
File: fuckheadsface.png (167 KB, 376x426) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
167 KB, 376x426
skinwalker who got addicted to pot
wow, actually didn't read this til now, fuck my shitty thread, this is the true gold here

This faggot trying to hard. Stay mad forever anon and dont cut yourself too hard on those edges. New faggot.
File: samurai jack.jpg (7 KB, 273x185) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
samurai jack.jpg
7 KB, 273x185
>be 19
>dating a 25 girl
>realize while dating she has a son
>be in house and make out heavily
>get her naked and she's so hot
>suddenly she makes an excuse to stop
>tells me a day later she has herpes
>do it without condom after time (love and shit) cause she knows some anticonception methods
>realize later she's been cheating on me
>break up with her and go check my weewee at a hospital
>penis is healthy
all this time she was saying that just in case she catched an STD while fucking many men.
and still I wonder if someone tried to take her child away from her
Got a few more too.

>Be 12
>The area I lived in, all the kids were terrorized by three asshole "kids"
>Everyone called them the Jew Boys
>I shit you not, all three of them wore jew attire all the time, stars of david necklaces, jew hats, etc..
>They looked like walking stereotypes
>All three of them were assholes to everyone, stealing stuff and attacking kids for no reason
>Smallest jew, the Rat, actually fucking bites people like a zombie
>Everyone gets fed up of their shit, tools up with weapons
>We enlist the help of Jack, one of my friends who was a goddamn giant motherfucker
>Corner the jews and enact goyim justice
>Police arrive, everyone feigns ignorance
>We get away scotch-free
File: 1407255099475.jpg (28 KB, 436x462) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
28 KB, 436x462
>halfway through 8th grade
>new emo kid
>don't talk to him much until a few weeks later
>edgiest fucker I've ever met
>tells me he's a psychopath, killed people, got shot, and got kicked out of his last school
>not buying it but go ahead and humor him
20 minutes later
>everybody is quietly reading
>pulls out a bag of blow and a hot topic gift card
>looks at me and says "This has $400, I sell drugs for my gang"
>cuts the blow up on a notebook and snorts it
>security guard walks in
>slams the notebook, dust puffs out
>dude has a look of panic on his face until the cop leaves
Later, class is over
>mfw gym is next period
It's Stotch free
double kek
File: image.jpg (13 KB, 200x300) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
13 KB, 200x300
No, it's Butters Stotch.
>goyim justice
fucking lost it
File: 1412229168245.jpg (26 KB, 350x417) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
26 KB, 350x417
Go ahead
File: 1414124305131.jpg (123 KB, 458x357) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
123 KB, 458x357
>be me in 9th grade
>no friends
>have to take bus home
>procrastinate after school because nothing to do at home
>some huge russian named Oleg starts hanging out with me
>he takes the same bus with me
>one day Oleg gets upset over his marks
>Oleg is dumb as a rock
>also gets mad at me for having better marks
>he decides he won't let me leave school until we trade punches
>he's 6 feet tall, i'm a skinny little weakling, and probably a few years older
>Oleg keeps begging, just one punch i promise
>spend the next terrifying half hour being chased around hallways until I lose him and wait until he leaves
>never stick around after school again
>The stories and information posted >here are artistic works of fiction and >falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted >here as fact.
That's the story you choose to post that shit to?
Go fuck a tree or something kiddo
>same skinny shit in 8th grade
>different school
>somehow offend an immigrant kid from Georgia (the country in eastern europe)
>probably because i was a smartass
>he challenges me to a fight
>it's ok, he's as skinny as i am
>he happens to look exactly like a young version of Borat with the mustache
>we face off in the yard, a crowd surrounds us
>it's my finest hour
>i have no experience throwing punches
>he charges at me with his arms swinging
>i somehow avoid him long enough for teachers to intervene, everyone finds this more amusing than exciting
>nobody gets in trouble for some bizarre reason
>next day he threatens to knife my little brother in grade 4 to make up for his "lost honor"
>he gets suspended and never see him again
>Watching friends daughter
>She's highschooler, but i don't think she needs to be watched
>mostly i ignore her
>she's constantly eyeballing me
>figure she's prolly a boy crazy teen
>figure whatever i have nothing else to do
>forgot that i hadn't jerked it in over a week
>no control or stamina
>huge load
>she wants to cuddle, fuck no
>"Get dressed."
>bought her plan b and unceremoniously dropped her off at park
>friends ask why i didn't watch their daughter
>tell them i didn't think she needed a chaperone in a public place "its not like she's gonna get molested." lol
>currently ignoring this girls friend requests on facebook
>god i hope she took that pill
>be in 10th grade
>i have two friends, Yoav, a guy from israel and Ron, a russian
>they are less socially retarded than i am
>Ron is kind of overweight but has no issues charming the ladies
>they decide to meet up for tennis one saturday at a local park
>they proceed to get into an argument about whether the ball was in or out
>Yoav starts screaming and chases Ron trying to hit him with the raquet
>Ron can't really outrun Yoav but he tries
>his face turns beet red and he literally collapses
>Yoav starts kicking his fat ass while still screaming in Hebrew
>i manage to pull Yoav off, and someone has called an ambu-lamps
>turns out Ron is okay though
>on monday, Ron and Yoav are friends again
File: koreabestkorea.jpg (279 KB, 597x800) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
279 KB, 597x800
your an asshole
fucking amberlamps
I fucking hated it when adults didn't listen. They were always so Freudian and thinking that you never told the truth until you said what they wanted to hear.
>Be me in 4th grade
>Completely oblivious to anything of a sexual nature
>Girl in class, who I'll call jenny, held back twice; she would have been in 6th grade
>We had a weekly reading time where all the desks would be arranged in a big U shape and everyone would sit in the middle with a reading buddy
>We would have to pair up with a different person every week
>most people just wait for teacher to pair them because she'd do it anyways if you chose your friends
>One week jenny, who I never even spoke to beforehand rushes to me and proclaims me her reading buddy
>Teacher impressed she chose someone who actually read during reading time.
>Anyway, super excited to start reading and shit
>Just as I crouch to sit down Jenny grabs me and says "anon why don't we sit outside of the U shape
>whatever bitch, I'm ready to get my Literacy on
>the desks face away from the center of the U so no one sits under them
>we crawl under the desk farthest from our teacher and sit under it.

Should I cont. Or is this thread dead?
File: image.jpg (113 KB, 400x635) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
113 KB, 400x635
Glad to see we're on the same page

continue my anon
Sorry for the confusion. Thank you.
> Be 20
> Walk into a club
> Hot blonde comes over and says she's leaving, but wants to hook up later
> Gives me number
> succcess.jpg
> Get home at 2AM ready to rub one out
> Wait. Digits.
> Call her
> pick me up anon
> very little talk on the ride back to my house
> start fucking as soon as we hit the door
> shes saying some wierd shit as I'm balls deep in her
> blow wad
> fall asleep
> wake up a bit later and she's just laying there looking at me
> skeeved out I make up some excuse about taking her home because I have to work
> give her my number
> mistake
> start getting calls a few hours later
> no-answer.png
> she starts leaving messages
> anon, I'm sitting on my blanket thinking about you rubbing my pussy. let's go horseback riding
> anon, I was ms. stockton 10 years ago I want to suck you off under a bridge. let's dress up like pirates.
> that goes on for a fucking year until I change my number
> i saved the best of them and bust them out for buddies every now and again
File: GuyMeetRandomGirl.png (578 KB, 1343x3182) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
578 KB, 1343x3182
I got juan

Holy fuck this is beautiful
File: frog-dad.jpg (153 KB, 1336x2792) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
153 KB, 1336x2792
posting more
Quality post.
Please go on.
fucking lost my shit
File: 1414040139126.jpg (8 KB, 261x193) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
8 KB, 261x193
Imma make mine short, so no greentext on this one.

Was in love with a girl, was 15, smoked a shit ton a synthetic herb, popped pills, typical high school angst asshole. Her father was big on pills, so would trade pills for his bud, made out great.
Went over to her uncles one day and found out her uncle is the dude who made my cousin some really bad meth, so decided tostrike back.
Got a shit ton of lortabs, met up with said girlfriend, and went to her uncle's. Traded my lortabs with her dad, smoked a blunt with her, shit was cash. Got to talking with her uncle, decided Id trade a bottle of pills for an oz.
Next day i return, make my deal, and cops arrive. Getting thrown off property, and girlfriend breaks up with me as I kick rocks. Get a called 2 days later, dude od'd on plls, nearly died (told him wrong mg, tooj toi many too fast) and its ex bitch.
Found out they traded her body for the drugs I was on, she had 2 other guys but wasnt fucking them.

Mfw I made out like the scumbag king I was.
>Jenny had a smell to her; everyone has a smell but for some reason I found hers more peculiar
>Pull up book and say I'll read the first page
>She puts her hand on book and lowers it from my face
>"Hey anon, I like you", she says. "Do you like me?"
>You 'aight bitch we goin reed or what
>actually just say yes but I meant it in an innocent and platonic way.
>"do you think I'm pretty"
>Now realizing she is cute with the barely budding titties and whatnot
>"Yes", I say
>she starts giving me flirty eyes and fondles her hair
>"Do you want to see something"
>Jenny starts moving her hands down to her shorts and unbuttons them.
>Panties yo
>Lifts up her shirt
>titties you
>Remember the first time you get horny, remember that akward feel?
>She reaches for me
>I lock up; she says things but I can't even; my brain is having sensory overload
>before I know it my my shorts are undone and me willy is free.
>What ensues is my First, and most akward blow-job ever

Theres a bit more
File: Tito.jpg (108 KB, 720x540) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
108 KB, 720x540
>be 17
>be dating this chick
>she does multiple things that should have set off alarms she was a nut job
>I start talking to another girl
>I like her a lot
>break up with gf
>gf standing up next to my bed starts sobbing
>she is going ape shit
>she sits in my bed and pulls covers over here
>still sobbing an crying uncontrollably
>she looks me in the eyes and says
"please, please have sex with me one last time so I know thats all our relationship was for"
>I give her stink eye
>"fuck no, get the fuck out of my house"
>she sits in her car and cries for like 10 minutes
>texts me 15 times only saying
>"Anon please answer."
"Anon I'm going to drive my car off a fucking bridge if you dont answer"
>mfw idgaf
At least try to make it real.

Anyways continue
so you gave him a lot of ex? and she was fucking you for drugs?

i don't understand
I pictured the huge black dude the same, bandana wife beater and jeans with necklaces with this sunken awkward Murdoc looking guy who just kind of is there and .-. the whole time
>this is andy
>andy is an ex coworker
>this guy would tell the worst and most disgusting stories at work, when all the bosses were gone
>such stories as being hooked on crack, shrooms, and other shit, which compelled him to fuck raw chicken from one of his friends fridge and after busting a nut, putting the chicken back in the fridge knowing it was to be cooked that same night
>I would not have believed him were it not for 3 separate people from work that confirmed the story
>if you ask him now he'll deny or play it off as a joke, but this is only because we all at work make fun of how fucked up he is
>his past is way dark and mysterious
>we've known him for 5 years and we have no clue who he lives with
>he says he has a wife, but he's been seen multiple times with a shemale, very ugly one, he claims to be his cousin
>at least 4 of us have gone to his house unannounced to see his "wife" and we are all greeted by the same shemale that shies away after we tell him/her we're looking for andy
>he has many nicknames at work, Lord sick fuck, Reek since he almost always smells, or Anfuck.
>he's just plainly weird and fucked up, super annoying and nasty
Holy shit, by any chance do you live in Alberta?
>posts pic of cum on face
>u srs tho?
My bad little intoxicated. Her uncle and her dad were trading her body and basically her as a person to me for drugs, which i just let dude od on anyways.
Follow up was last I heard when I wasnt supplying them anymore the got into a fight over who could have the last 3 pills, and one hit the other with a car.
File: 1365205155873.jpg (61 KB, 244x265) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
61 KB, 244x265
who cares
I fucking hate you so goddamn much. I wasted SO much time reading that. Oh my fucking God.

Good job, faggot.

Grew up in Australia with Italian heritage.

> knew / know several fucked up people
> many are in or have been to jail (thankfully)
> weird shit always happens
> incest (mainly cousins, 2 brothers I know fucked their aunt)
> guy I used to hang out with disappeared about 2 years ago, at first everyone told me he went on a holiday, now if I mention him they insist the guy never existed and I just imagined him. same guy gave me a diamond necklace as a present #nohomo
> same guy pummelled some bitch's face while we were in town, blood everywhere, my other friends just laughed
> nice old Italian couple who used to babysit me as a kid had their house shot up, they left and no one has seen them since

etc etc

basically my life is sopranos meets xfiles while I try to avoid it all so I can stick to playing my vidya
File: 1413792829866.jpg (336 KB, 1280x848) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
336 KB, 1280x848
>waste time

nigger you are on /b/, this is what we do waste fucking time you worthless piece of shit
>my sides
>in orbit
nigga u on /bee/ this is wut we do waste fkin time u worthless pece of shit
>She wants the penus

only newfags dont call it penis
What is with Australian Italians and incest. I had a friend with your same background. His brother and mom fucked on the daily.
>didn't cum, or rather pretty sure I couldn't even
>When our teacher called for the end of reading time she stopped blowing me adjusted her clothes, buttoned my paralyzed ass up
>I can't remember through the fog of my mind If she said anything after that; jenny gave me a kiss on the cheek and stood up.
>the rest of that day is more or less a blur
>The next day I tried talking to her about the whole ordeal which my 4th grade mind had trouble wrapping itself around.
>Her reply was my first experience with complete dumb-bitchdom.
>She said that the only reason she did that eas to make her nigglet boyfriend (who was also my 4th grade classmate) jealouse
>Bitches start young /b/
>Didn't know what to feel, stopped talking to jenny
>Made friends with nigglet and his sister though
>Sometime at the end of the year jenny stopped coming to school
>Recall overhearing teacher talking to neighboring teacher that jenny was having trouble at home

Bonus round
>Fast forward to middle school
>Masturbated to climax for the first time to thoughts of my swim instructor at around age 12.
>After doing the deed and realizing I just released some sticky shit all over my shirt I decided to smell my it.
>What a peculiar smell; familiar but not quite
Fast forward to age 16
>Lose virginity to crazy nigress I was fucking around with at the time
>Bitch was a freak
>Did not take it easy on my skinny white ass
>After funking and a particularly agonizing load I became aware of the smell in my little bedroom
>Smells like nostalgia
>Hits me like a load of bricks
>this is the smell that clung to jenny way back when
>It was almost exact
>realize that jenny's "problems at home" where probably rapey in nature
>realize my childhood was rather dark
>at sixteen I not only became a man, but the memories of jenny and how miserable her twisted life probably was then aged me another 16 years.

Sometimes I still wonder about her /b/
white niggaz into the strangest shit
File: 1413869138512.jpg (62 KB, 780x634) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
62 KB, 780x634
Bump don't you 404 on me

ok i have one

>used to trip with friends in hs
>the sid is in a drought and we try finding other ways to trip
>find out about corceden hbp maximum strength
>we each take a box and all trip balls, 16 pills btw
>do this about once a month for a while
>one day i take a box during the day and get ready for the ride
>friends take me to all sorts of places and we end up in a wt trailer park
>buddy of mine knows one of the top drug dealers in the area, so we end up in this shithole cracked out trailer
>one of my friends moms was there, (she was a crack head so we didn't freak out or anything)
>finds out im tripping on the corcedin, and is super interested
>find out she has been dating said drug dealer
>she is one of those 5ft tall 80lbs, leather skin bitches
>me and one of my friends decide to go to the store and get some gatorade or something to drink
>coming back see a fuckton of cop cars by the trailer
>drive right by, cool as shit
>still tripping balls btw
>they got busted, lots of coke and crack found in said trailer, so they are going away
>this is mericu so she gets out in less than a year
>fast forward a couple years and, me and some buds are having a hotel party, hotel is in shady part of town, and they let us get away with it.
>hookers normally frequent the area, and you guessed it. Find this bitch among them
>Oh shi- is that anon's mom!
>sure the fuck was, we went up to her, and she asked us if we were holdin. (only had weed at the time)
>she said she would suck all our dicks for 50$
>oh fuck no, but of course we all have one friend that is an asshole in every group. lets call him steve.
>to some it up, steve got his dick sucked from one of our friends crackhead mom, and bargained the price down to 20$. wtf
bumping the guy asking for sauce, I would like some of that sauce
So what? "Oh hey some guys talking about you on the internet".
If any part of your story is true it's not going to matter
I'm wondering about her too anon, that's sad
File: 1412741788567s.jpg (3 KB, 125x123) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
3 KB, 125x123
was waiting for this one, thank you
I have one but I wont greentext coz im on my phone
I was about 15 at the time, and we were round at my friends house in a rural area getting drunk. It got a bit later and my friends mom came home so we went a walk to finish off our drink and shit. I hooked up with 9/10 skinny girl who was extremely drunk at this time, we hung back a bit while everyone else was walking home. We were about half way back and I finally get this bitch to suck my junk, wasn't very good obviously her first time, after about 5 mins into the blowjob I tell her to stop and we start walking back. She started to spew her load about 10 minutes later. I got back to the house and everyone was asking what happened, I explained and they all came to the conclusion that this bitch spewed all over my junk.
fast forward two days when we were back at school
everyone is calling me pukey pants and sick dick
this went on for a year or so
finally got dating this girl and got her to admit that it didn't actually happen and it was the drink that made her do it
mfw it was actually her deep throating me that made her spew the 10 minute later story was just a cover up
File: 1414039102350.jpg (158 KB, 1021x682) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
158 KB, 1021x682
Thread limit almost reached, who wants to make new?
why cant anyone ever make their own threads
that pic taken in sf??

bitches be crazy
Because other people can
I can keep going

Someone said to make a new thread.
Fucked it up the first time. Here you go.

File: 1310615911497.jpg (19 KB, 319x397) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
19 KB, 319x397
>>go see that movie where King Kong rips T. rex tongue out

King Kong?
lost my fucking shit
File: Elmo looking bloke.png (144 KB, 240x240) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
Elmo looking bloke.png
144 KB, 240x240
Happened very recently
> be me 15
> be at poor public school in Australia
> basically huge farm with buildings
> it's lunchtime and everyones outside talking n shit
> be one of the few non bogans at the school
> after eating my sandwich i tell my friends i'm going to go get a drink
> walk down to the tap and get a nice cold refreshing drink
> start walking back to the lunch table
> walk past a substitute teacher with short red hair a sweater and skinny jeans and burp
> the sub proceeds the yell 'Excuse me" promoting me to turn around
> "Did you just belch on me?"
> At this point i'm perplexed, being at a public school for so long, i had never encountered a teacher such as this
> "Ummm no Sir i just burped because i had a big lunch"
> "Don't talk back to me"
> The fucking orangutan grabs me by the collar and take me to the principles office
> Fucking bullshit
> Fantapants storms into the office and bitches to the principal
> Says i intentionally belched on him and that i had a huge smile on my face after doing so
> Ranga leaves and i'm left there in the office
> The principle gives me a detention and says he'l call my parents if i don't apologise
> Fuck that
> Leave and go to forth period
> idealightbulb.png
> After the bell goes i go down to the car park and wait for him to go to his car
> see him walking to his car and slowly approach
> as he gets in i walk around the front of the car and stare at him
> he is visibly pissed and a little bit weirded out
> i then shove my fist down my throat and vomit all over his hood and windscreen
> gets out of his car and starts chasing me i around the parking lot
> loop back around and jump on the cunts car
> other teachers and students have noticed my little cluster fuck
> decide enough's enough and give up
> get expelled from that school and since i live in the middle of no where i have to move to my dad's house in fucking Canada of all places
I'm moving next week
File: 1413272714547.jpg (94 KB, 640x633) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
94 KB, 640x633
fuck man
Find her
You're going to love Canada much more. Try using your accent to your advantage when it comes to women
File: 128463756384.png (158 KB, 431x343) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
158 KB, 431x343
gibbie sauce pls
I don't Get it. What's the reference?
>made great friends with awesome people..

Found 4chan, thinks we're his friends.
Would you like some making fuck

What province?

Inb4 b&
Jolly good m8
>T.h.e F.ap.pennin.g Full Coll.e.ct.i.on
File: 140845461982.jpg (96 KB, 960x720) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
96 KB, 960x720
No underage b&?
never happened you fat fuck. your stories are boring as shit
Are you retarded or what ?
>Something clicks, and I realize I'm a fucking idiot
hate fuck?
File: 1414063859747.jpg (58 KB, 373x499) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
58 KB, 373x499
You filthy fucking rapist
File: 00.jpg (4 KB, 125x125) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
4 KB, 125x125
8/8 m8
Mental patients aren't allowed on the internet


Quote Archer's chant... Pic is Gilgamesh's ability
Was the chubbers name Kayla?
>be 15
>get back from camp
>10 days of no fap
>fucking horny
>message girl get flirty
>date her 2 days later
>never kissed a girl before
>get of train
>never seen her before
>heart beats like maniac
>she kisses me
>go to park
>get in panties
>see real naked tits in real life
>super boner
>finger her in park
>she does noithing with my boner
>fast forward 1 year
>dating that girl
>only see her on weekends
(Sorry if greentext will fuck,up, I'm on a mobile)

>Be me, 16 y.o beta virgin kid
>Summer at sea, first time without my parents
>Hot 17 y.o blondie decides to be my summertime gf.
>one day we had a party, she asks me to go with her to her room
>instead she turns into empty corridor, and sits on a bench.
>"Anon, have you ever kissed a girl?"
>nope, we kiss for a while.
>then she looks at me, and asks what do I want to do now
>I tell her that I'm feeling so good that I just want to cuddle and look at pretty stars.
>she suddenly says that she's tired and going to bed
>okay goodbye.jpg
>I haven't realised until I turned 18
Thread replies: 284
Thread images: 69
Thread DB ID: 18139

[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Other sexy stuff] [Home]
[Boards: 3 / a / aco / adv / an / asp / b / biz / c / cgl / ck / cm / co / d / diy / e / fa / fit / g / gd / gif / h / hc / his / hm / hr / i / ic / int / jp / k / lgbt / lit / m / mlp / mu / n / news / o / out / p / po / pol / qa / r / r9k / s / s4s / sci / soc / sp / t / tg / toy / trash / trv / tv / u / v / vg / vp / vr / w / wg / wsg / wsr / x / y] [Other sexy stuff] [Home]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from them. If you need IP information for a Poster - you need to contact them. This website shows only archived content.
If a post contains personal/copyrighted/illegal content you can contact me at wtabusse@gmail.com with that post and thread number and it will be removed as soon as possible.