Not sure if this is Baww material. But hopefully it will make anyone feeling down, realize they can get over it.
>Be 8 year old me
>get sent home from school with the "flu"
>be throwing up due to the pain i'm in
>my back, neck, and head feel like they are on fire AND being beaten with sledgehammers
>mom realizes it has to be worse than the flu
>my very last memory of my childhood home is me crying in my mom's lap
>pleading with her to make the pain stop
>then throwing up blood in her lap, and passing out.
>Apparently she rushed me to the hospital
>I woke up and walked in on my own
>was totally conscious
>but had no emotion
>I was basically a zombie
>the doctor did a spinal tap
>shoved a needle into my spine and I just sat there.
>I remember none of that, but my mom said I was just this ghostly white "thing" on the table.
>Turns out I have bacterial meningitis
>usually kids with it as bad as I had it die.
>then the few that live after that can't walk, or something.
>my next real memory is me driving in a car with who I thought was my grandpa
>we pull up to his office. Just like we did all the time when I was really little.
>he'd take me to work with him, and let me "be the boss"
>nothing unusual to me
>hear his voice say "Ok Bowie (his nickname for me) time to get out"
>take a quick look at him
>it's not him
>it's some guy I had never seen before
>I just hopped out of the truck and into bright light
>then I woke up. In the hospital, in a city far from home
>got airlifted there
Cont. I'll wrap it up quick. I hate bothering people with my story, and reliving it.
>dating girl for a bit over a month, we're both law students, she's three years older - punching above my weight
>both have reservations about getting into a relationship because of nervousness about commitment, the usual
>we go to the biggest student party of the year (easiest way to explain it), I have one of the best nights out I've ever had, she loves it too
>she drunkenly explains to me that she's sorry for being so unsure, but she's really willing to commit and give the relationship a chance
>fast-forward a month
>she's being super-reserved, not really talking
>I write it off as being caused by exam stress (pretty widespread in law)
>I tell my friends, they sympathise, understand that relationships are complex, etc.
>friend posts photo of a girl he's banging, but you can't see her face
>lol's all round, slap on the back, whatever
You can see where this is going. To fast-forward:
>Almost-girlfriend had started talking to one of my friends, four days later they fucked
>I call him, furious at what's happened
>he calls it a 'mistake', says he feels awful
>This was three months ago
>They are still together today
>Doctor walks in, says "oh you're up"
>"He's awake everyone!"
>Whole family walks in. Both sets of grandparents, and my parents.
>doc gets me out of bed
>says "Lets see if you can walk"
>I just assume i'm getting out of bed, no big deal
>my legs basically crumble
>nurse catches me
>fast forward 3 days
>finally getting the fuck out of there
>go to my grandparent's
>spend most of my time in extreme pain
>endure about a month of this before 8 year old me decides I could kill myself pretty easily
>I had never been told about suicide. I figured this out all on my own
>like an "AHA" moment.
>sick of laying in bed in pain, having to be like a newborn if I wanted to move, and cry for someone to pick me up
>sick of having to shove catheters up my dick to piss
>sick of being nearly blind and nearly deaf.
>"No you dumbass"
>a random voice in my head chimed in
>decide to make life my bitch instead
>right then and there, i became a man.
>I stayed quiet that morning.
>i just rolled off my bed
>then I just crawled
>My grandpa saw me and ran over to pick me up
>apparently I gave him the meanest face ever and said "NO, i'm doing this"
>I made my way into the living room and climbed into the big comfy recliner, and turned on Angry Beavers.
>I've never ever told myself I couldn't do something from that day on.
>and any time I have a hard time in life, I just think back to that morning.
Blind, deaf, and waist down paralyzed me basically conquered, what seemed like the world at the time.
No not anymore. They told me I'd never run again and stuff but I said fuck that. My eyes and ears got better and now I run a 6 minute mile...err well, 8 minutes now that i'm out of shape.
Fuck /b/rothers, I attempted suicide a couple months ago, and even failed at that... Gonna try to live well this shot, until I splatter my brains on the bathroom wall one night.
Same, fucking pharmaseutical petrochemical industrial complex. FUCKING LOAD OF DYSTOPIC BULLSHIT.
His father doesn't sound like that good a guy, suppose story is real than in reality he is actually quite the opposite. How weak. How wrong. How bad.
reminds me of this
>Never really lucky with any girl
>qt notices me and starts talking to me
>Hit it off really well and eventually start to date
>Ran out of money for college
>Family up north offers money for college if I live there
>We're both sad but optimistic
>"We'll make it work."
>now at 23
>Home stretch now. Only a few months left
>She calls to say she got drunk and she cheated on me
>Wants forgiveness and for me to stay with here, "It'll never happen again."
I know, I know...long distance relationships never work. But like most people *I* thought I could make it work.
If you've stopped giving a fuck, why just give up and die? Go do shit that you wouldn't do if you were so determined to live. Fucking go backpacking in Costa Rica or something, what have you got to lose? Best to ya, Anon
卐This is a windmill of friendship and tolerance卐卐This is a windmill of friendship and tolerance卐卐This is a windmill of friendship and tolerance卐卐This is a windmill of friendship and tolerance卐卐This is a windmill of friendship and tolerance卐卐This is a windmill of friendship and tolerance卐卐This is a windmill of friendship and tolerance卐卐This is a windmill of friendship and tolerance卐卐This is a windmill of friendship and tolerance卐卐This is a windmill of friendship and tolerance卐卐This is a windmill of friendship and tolerance卐卐This is a windmill of friendship and tolerance卐卐This is a windmill of friendship and tolerance卐卐This is a windmill of friendship and tolerance卐卐This is a windmill of friendship and tolerance卐卐This is a windmill of friendship and tolerance卐
If someone is comtemplating suicide, they are at the end of their ropes. It is not because they have 'stopped giving a fuck', like you so eloquantly put it, but rather because they can not go on.
Watch this if you care:
One of the one pieces of advice that's helped me came from man who's son became a recluse and attempted suicide on a night out with his friends:
It's okay to have a shitty day.
Personally, whenever I started feeling awful I'd get worried I'd be entering a phase of depression again and it would make me feel worse. After I heard this, I realised it was fine to feel awful every now and then. It's just life. If you feel shit say to yourself "Fuck it, I'll have a shit day" and stop worrying about whether you'll feel better later or not.
I'm not trying to say anyone doesn't have depression of say that your feelings don't matter. I just wanted to share that it's cathartic for me to acknowledge some days are shit.
Fuck! I was in that thread! We tried to help him, man! We told him to cool his jets and calm, and he just kinda stopped replying. I can tell you I cried for damn sure. Poor guy.
Depression, is very much like this.
It makes you a convict, in the free world. You're free to leave your cage inside your mind anytime you want, to do anything. But you can't, until you decide it's time you took a chance and pull yourself out. Or have someone else pull, or help you out. But if someone else helps you, or pulls you out, that same person can push you back in.
got to call bullshit on that they stood around and spied on this guy for over an hour at a moment like that when he obviously wanted to be alone. Its either the scummiest friends on the planet or bullshit.
I've already heard a TED talk by that guy. I've never heard a more obnoxius voice, but I couldn't be bothered standing up and moving to the next in the playlist so I listen to the whole thing. He had a pretty fucked up childhood, and his speech was really good, but I can't make myself listen to his voice and the way he talks ...
YOU FUCKING FAGGOTS MAKE ME SICK. BEING ALONE IS THE BEST THING EVER. I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP FOR 3.5 YEARS AND I WISH I WAS SINGLE, BUT I DON'T WANT TO HURT THE OTHER PERSON. GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE ETC, BUT I REMEMBER THINKING THE SAME WAY AS YOU BAWW FAGGOTS. RELATIONSHIPS ARE FUCKING HARD. IMAGINE FOR EXAMPLE FIGHTING EVERY DAY FOR A MONTH. IMAGINE IT'S FRIDAY AND YOU CAN'T PLAY VIDYA / WATCH ANIME AND YOU HAVE TO SIT WITH YOUR GF AND LISTEN TO HER BORING STORIES ABOUT JOB OR SOME OTHER SHIT. YOU LOSE FREEDOM TO DO ALL THE STUFF YOU LOVE ANYTIME YOU WANT. YOU STILL CAN DO IT BUT VERY LIMITED. FUCK, FAGGOTS. WHEN I WILL BE SINGLE AGAIN SOME TIME IN THE FUTURE I WISH I WILL STAY THIS WAY FOREVER. (PS. sex is overrated as fuck too, especially in condom)
It's my birthday today, why not feel like complete shit on such a awful day. I'll contribute what I have.
When I hear a girls voice that reminds me of hers.
Maybe you're on the autism spectrum. in all seriousness. I am. I am always irritated. i have a lot of sensory issues. i'm var sensitive to light and sound and the way things feel. I have to wear certain clothes or im on edge all the time.
I didn't even notice that watermark.
It'd be nice if we could get a baww thread that was uplifting and not this depressing crap.
I'm not going to deny that I probably have some form of autism. It's just I feel like everything I do is wrong and that most of the time I just annoy myself for stupid shit I've said and done in the past
Of course you would. You don't want to put forth the effort to make your life better. It's easier to day dream about a life where you have no problems than manning up and solving your own.
I'm trying to post some uplifting stuff to counteract the depression you guys are bringing.
>Found out yesterday GF of four years is leaving for college
>I tell her I'll go wherever she goes, hunker down, and support her.
>She smiled and said thank you
>Can't fight back the feeling that she'll leave without me
>Don't want to be alone again
Holy fuck that is some seriously heavy shit even if its fake
I was in a group home with six kids. Three of them planned to distract the staff in the back room, and had convinced me to break into the office with a bobby pin, take the money box, and hide it in the backyard.
The owners of the group home fired the staff member, and got the police involved. The kid that planned it kept all the money, and told me to take the fall for it or he would beat the shit out of me. So i told the police I did it, but they didnt believe me. Another kid had told them it was that main kid, and they arrested him and took him away.
So two of the kids were super pissed at me. For the next two months, they would randomly attack me. They would pick the lock on the bathroom door while I showered, run in with wire hangers and hit me with them. I'd start screaming, staff would come, they'd be gone and acting casual and nothing would happen. They would throw hangers at me while I slept, sometimes wake me up with a punch, one time they pinned me down and shoved a broomstick up my ass while calling me a faggot and a waste of life. They would put me under a mattress and jump on it, after blocking the door from opening with one of those wood things in the closet. On top of which, they would constantly humiliate and berate me to the point that I no longer wanted to live. Many things like this have happened in my life, and if I have learned anything, its that I am small and helpless and need to be quiet. A lifetime of this kind of shit has made me retarded, and very unpleasant to be around.
I hate this one
why don't I get away?
because I don't have money for that
>inb4 u dont need money to travel :^)
You obviously dont want or deserve a relationship, so fucking quit. "I dont want to hurt her" so whats your plan date her forever? Wait until she wants to get married then break up? Youre only going to hurt her more you fuck head. Jesus why is it that everyone who has a relationship has no god damn idea how to be a mature fucking adult. Go fuck yourself.
Become a Buddhist! Renounce all of your worldly desires today!
We live in such a cruel fucking world
>newfag here... first day reading threads on /b/ and actually replying...
fuck me this is some real deep shit here... i hope a "baw" thread (what does that even mean?) doesnt show up here every day, because i dont think i can stand that.
Stop thinking about her.
You don't even cross her mind anymore.
repost from other thread was is dieing
>me and a girl get it going, "working" on a relationship
>me thinking that being a nice guy is gonna pay off
>sleep over at her house, to beta to take my clothes off (like wtf)
>ask for a goodnight kiss, she says no.
>actually teasing, to make me come get it
>just laying still
>girl; ok here u go
>days/few weeks go by
>figuring, being a nice guy I should get to know her family
>all turns to shit
>end it all
>tells me exactly this; "Well, anon. You are a nice guy. But I usually get to the intimate part long before family. Which means that you werent just in it for the sex blabla
tldr; i was to much of a beta faggot, and thought i would get somewhere with being "nice"
>be with two other friends
>they talk and show more interest to each other than you
>on sidewalks for two, you are the third either ahead or behind
>don't see or even contact friends in way unless you initiate first
you sir, are fucking right. the world is my oyster