Everyone, meet Maude. Maude, everyone.
Maude is not the picture of physical wellness. She is, in fact, a disaster. This is not debatable and that status is irreducible. Axiomatically, she is a disaster. That said, however, she is a disaster with needs. Deep, gnawing needs. Here, I will regale you with a story about the time I spent with Maude.
We met online. The internet is such a great invention for the lonely, isn't it? I never had the confidence to seek someone with my fetish in real life. Maude told me something similar. The mere fact that we found one another seemed like serendipity; Maude likened it to Salk discovering penicillin. "Beautiful," I thought.
After chatting with one another for a few days and learning that we were a mere 100 miles apart, we decided to meet. I remember pulling into her driveway and sitting in my car and trembling with excitement. I'd already begun to seep through my pants; the corduroy glossy and moist like the side of a McDonald's bag. Her doorbell rang when my shaky finger pushed the button and the door immediately opened. She had been waiting.
We stared into each other's eyes for a moment. Mine were bright. Fiery with passion. Hers were dull and wet; wheat flour and molasses cookies left for days in a room with 100% humidity. Not a word was spoken. Slowly, she raised her chins, pointing her nose at the ceiling. And there it all was. Exposed. Explicit. Just like we had discussed.
Somehow the scent hit me even before my view had even focused. Sharp and acrid; an aged Stilton maturing at a tire fire. My mind reeled and I moved in.
I have a space between my front teeth. Why does this matter? It just so happens that the majority of her beautiful skin tags just fit between that gap. Their swollen tips are too fat, obviously, but their stalks aren't. That means once I get one in my mouth, I can use my teeth to pull. And pull. My tongue flicked against the turgid head as I stepped backward. The stalk stretched nearly a foot before it snapped. The head fell onto my tongue, leaking whatever gift was inside. Reverentially, I chewed. It took nearly 15 minutes for it to break apart.
I was so locked into my experience that I hadn't noticed that Maude was now nude. Her hands were at her hips, tracing lazy ovals around her 4" long nipples. For some reason, the carpet was now soaked. I moved back toward her neck again and again, each time capturing one of the beautiful prizes she'd grown for me. Once they were gone, I was exhausted. I ran my tongue over the fertile ground on which they grew, praying silently for their eventual regrowth.
I left, spent. And that's my story about Maude, the disaster. We still talk now and then, and she's told me how little nubs are starting to form on her neck like tiny shoots. I laughed and said it's springtime for her neck. She might have laughed, too. Can disasters laugh?
And that was the day OP finally killed my boner.
rip in peace, my chubby little friend.
oh lord jesus, the story, then the comments, ... this is why I come here. bravo
I wish that I never learnt to read..
Marvelously constructed, you've officially made me a misanthrope.
OP you are true amazing, people cant understand the pure ecstasy of having zit liquid in your tongue, from a landwhale that prolly stores her excess fat in these pimples. Oh god Im diamond hard, imagine when you open her pussy and its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich. 10/10 would lick
I know you probably itch for opportunities to put people down on the internet, but I'm fairly certain the excessive similes were a literary device utilized to enhance absurdity for the sake of levity. Though admittedly I'm only speculating.
The only thing that kept my attention so long was OPs ability to write. Bravo op on that one, but seriously, WTF/10
It's over. I've seen such horrible things here for years, but I think you've reached the bottom. Congrats, you ruined all my hopes in humanity.
There was a horrid porn story written about some fat chick masturbating, and it talked about spreading her pussy open like a grilled cheese sandwhich. you know what I'm talking about?
That is the most putrid thing I've ever read.
Maude is on her way over to my humble apartment as we speak. I tremble with excitement knowing every moment I stand waiting, she is hurtling towards me. Soon the taxi will pull up and I will embrace her folds once more, my face quick to be buried in her festering neck.
i wonder if thats what its like under cleveland brown jr's neck
puking my balls out my ass now, thanks OP. I will never be able to scrub that mental image from my mine
>Skin tag between my teeth
This has great potential to become pasta one day. Keep posting you
quality reading material
>I have a space between my front teeth. Why does this matter? It just so happens that the majority of her beautiful skin tags just fi
Nope, stopped reading there because I was sick a little bit in my mouth.
Fuck all kinds of duck this is some weird shit.
How incredibly satisfying, most of her love-nubs were too small to get with my teeth this time, but fear not, for they are coming in strong. She took control this encounter, as I let her tie me down to the bedstocks. I was sweating with excitement in its purest form as she smothered me, her neck covering a good portion of my face. Once finished, a paste was left, a residual reminder of our special bond. Not unlike what one would find between his thighs after not showering for a week.
Sie aß einen Esel Menge Gerümpel , diese schwarzen Dinge, die sie aufgewachsen sind Marisken , sorry für beschissene Grammatik war ich mit Google übersetzen
op types up his fantasies because he is on a dick sucking rampage
Chad, you are one dumb motherfucker.
This is disgusting. You are disgusting.
Pure gold! Been a long time since i saw a thread of this quality. Well done OP. Can't stop laughing.
OH MY GOD!!! IT's FUCKING JABA THE HUT!!! D:
till you reallize that you weren't supposed to be on this page.
you are insulting white people?
>cause they are black
science frick yes fuck