Funny Stoner Situations Thread!
>"I was so high" Stories
>Talking to your parents/authorities while baked
True Stoners come on in!
Here are two of my favorite videos of totally kyle
gonna bump with comics til i remember one
>be high right now in a year
>right now in a year
nigga you high
>just got home from smoking with friends
>chipotle to go mmmm
>about to eat burrito
>my dad and his friend had a steak making competition
>wanted me to try steak and say which is better
>tried second but didnt swallow it
>ask my mom if i can just spit it out so i can eat my burrito
>mom gives me wierd look and just tells me to eat it
>mfw they didnt suspect a thing
SAW YOU STEP OUT OF ROOM 209
SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND A TEARDROP IN
YOUR EYE. YOU'D BEEN STICKIN NEEDLES IN YER ARMS, ALWAYS SAID THAT IT DIDN'T DO NO HARM BUT LOOK INTO YOUR FACE AND WHAT DO i SEE?
MISERY AND DESPAIR LOOKING BACK AT ME.
ONE MORE DAY, THEN A LONG TORMENTED NIGHT.
ONE MORE DAY IN ANOTHER WASTED LIFE
>get high with friends
>decide to eat at ihop
>I am a bookworm goofy ass motherfucker
>all friends are athletes
>4 am after night out drinking
>cops sit next to us
>12 guys sitting next to 4-5 cops
>we are laughing having fun not giving any fucks
>studying for lsat and interning at a famous local lawyer
>cops suddenly decide they are going to break up our breakfast and be dicks
>we want to search your vehicles
>I take out my wallet
>pull out my business card
>I realize its not my business card
>its the owner of the firms card
>he thinks I own the firm
>ask him for a warrant or probable cause to justify him to search our vehicles
>"well hurr durr you guys are acting boisterous in a public setting and it befits me as a public officer to make sure your obeying the law and not holding any illegal substances"
>I burst out laughing
>Cop gets red faced
>friends are all ghastly and telling me to shut up
>ask cop for his badge number
>he gets red faced and says I don't have to give you that
>I can't breathe at this point
>other cops stand up and come over to help the 3 officers fucking with us
>"whats the problem?"
>this officer wants to search our vehicles without a warrant
>I continue laughing
>officer 1 hands officer 5 my business card
>older officer sighs and apologizes for the interruption
>they leave us alone
>we keep laughing
>go home and pass out
Woke up the next day and didn't remember shit it was pieced together by friends.
I could have literally been arrested and charged with possession of marijuana + dui + fraud for representing myself as a member of the bar.
>tfw I bullshitted my way out of a major offense and saved my career by not having any fear and laughing at a cop in a public setting
>tfw they were scared of my law firms clout
>tfw I had no idea how close I came to losing everything in the moment
>420 in vancouver
>aimlessly stumble around while listening to Floyd, stoned as fuck just from breathing the air
>stumble into a random tent
>yo what're you guys selling?
>suddenly notice the cop uniforms
>suddenly notice the badges
>mfw i stumbled into the security tent
and then i got a japodog pic related
Lots of people. Especially British people. I'm not British, though. It helps spread out your weed if you ain't rich, and some people thinks it smooths out the flavor, or makes it smoke better, or whatever.Just adding a dash here and there spices it up. Not the blunt tobacco, but some shit like white owl, out of the tin, like prince Albert.
ok anybody know a good name or can think of one? for a growing company in WA.
wholesale to dispensaries not retail.
Last night had mad munchies, went to 7/11 to get coke and ice cream, get to register to pay, pull out tv remote from pocket, wallet was still on couch.
Cashier looks at my bloodshot eyes and bursts out laughing, which made me laugh uncontrollably for a solid minute
Legend gave me shit for free and said go home and chill dude
>Listing to Kid A
>Knock on the door
>Pigs smell weed
>Tell us to show them the weed
>Say its on the phone book
>Tell us to show them the weed
>Say its on the phone book
>Tell us to show them the weed
>Its on the god damn phone book!
>They say oh... look at it and tell us to flush it down the toilet
>Go to piss
>See weed floating in the toilet
>Dry it out in the microwave
>I smoked toilet weed with my friends
>be at friend's house, 1 am after night out at the pub
>grows his own in a closet, hydroponics
>we pass around a lovely spliff, he puts on Flight of the Conchords, funny shit
>eventually realize I have to run to my mom's house to let their dogs out while they're out of town
>"dude are you sure you're okay, this stuff is pretty potent"
>walk to car, get in, start engine, find radio station
>push down pedal
>suddenly realize: time is moving extremely slowly
>car kind of stretches out forward as I push on gas
>guy singing on radio starts to get real base voice like a record off pitch control
>car rolls along slowly, barely moving
>approach a yellow light, stays yellow for about ten minutes
>eventually just turn anyway, sick of waiting
>car barely moving, speedo says 30 mph
>I put on on cruise control, my hands moving like glaciers
>Passed a cop and had to be careful not to look funny at him, I'm sure every facial movement must look like a spastic fit to him
>Radio now sounds like a low rumble in the distance
>Drive was 8 miles
>it took an entire week
>arrive at 1:20, let dogs out, they're basically floating in midair
>strip down to my panties and get in their pool
>the water is so heavy it's like quicksilver around my body
>the moon was full and filled up most of the sky
>I moved my torso up to the water-jet of the pool and had an orgasm that must have taken hours
>dried off, slid my clothes back on, let the dogs back in, got in the car
>Go home, I have to work in 8 hours
>Drive home takes six months
>In bed at 2:00 am, go right to sleep
That weed is amazing.
I used to smoke in this back room all the time, in my garage, with tons of different people. one day, I looked down and noticed the floor was COVERED in those loose bits that fall off after you grind the weed, sort it, roll it, the loose bit that falls out the tip of the blunt, all that shit.So I collected it all up, cleaned it and such, and I had about 2.5G.I smoked it with my sister, and it was pretty good actually.Imagine 2.5 grams of ground up weed, but it's like 100 different kinds of weed.It's like a melting pot of pot.I called it some "Floor weed", 'cuz its from the floor, and gets you floored!
>Be me and two friends need a place to smoke
>Ride bikes down to a field behind housing developments
>Smoke, good time, cool bugs, soft tall grass
>Ridin back to friends place
>Cop comes speeding down neighborhood rood and cuts us off in his truck
>Friends house literally 100ft away
>Yelling at us get off the bikes
>Grabs friends sack bag
>Shit had weed, papers, pipe and grinder
>Cop keeps talking not sure what he is saying
>Points to the distant
>Woman had car window broken and shit stolen
>Dent look in the bag doesn't feel stolen goods
>Tells us to get out of here
>Calmly walk back to bikes and soberly as possible ride into the sunset
>MFW played that shit cool & munched out later
>slightly older friend can't really drive well
>Tells friend 2 to let him practice
>we're me and friend 2 are blazed as fuck
>this mother fucker is driving around the block making the worlds sharpest turns
>me and friend 2 burst out laughing and freaking out
>see cops and almost shit my pants(I had just bought an oz)
>they just drove by
I still have like 25 g of weed
>cold winter night
>on apartment porch having a smoke
>hear neighbors arguing loudly
>*POP POP POP*
>"YEAH NIGGA, WHAT NOW"
>"uhhh... yeah the nigger upstairs just shot her baby daddy?"
>spend 15 minutes getting redirected to different police departments
>get a call from officer responding, wants to meet me outside
>meet cop, tell him which apartment
>"Alright thanks young man"
>"No thank you officer, good luck, and godspeed"
>go back inside and eat my ramen
I love ramen.
>Freshman in college
>High school friends begging me to go the fall lay this year
>My old high school has always had the shittiest drama program but everyone pretends that it isn't
>Decide that I can't go sober
>Get fucking blazed and then lost on the way to the play
>Finally get there and get a ticket and get in the last row of the theater
>Terrible accents and terrible sets
>Fucking dying at the first scene
>See my ex got a shitty non-speaking roll and it makes my day SO much better
>Didn't realize this was an interactive play
>Begin to feel breathing on the back of my neck
>This fucking pretentious chick who has the same part as my ex is trying to scare me (it was a horror play) and breathing on my neck
>Turn around and it's her and my ex crouched down like they are animals or monsters or some shit
>Just look at them, they look at me
>Leave after the first act and smoke some more
>Never going back to that shit hole again.
Born in chch living in Auckland all I and my friends and my dealers have ever done is smoke it straight up as a joint or in a glass pipe
the best way to smoke it! and I smoke tobacco!
>Be walking in the woods
>Walking along a path overlooking a valley
>it's pretty cool
>I see something off the path behind a rock
>it's some glass thing
>it's a bong!
>it's propped up like they stash it there and use it whenever they come by
>pretty nice bong with colored glass bent into shapes around it
>probably a $100 piece
>Why would some dumb fucks leave this nice bong in the woods?
>Because they're dumb fucking stoners
>I take the bong
>and smash it
>leave pieces where I found it
>laugh at how I'm drug free
>smokin a tree in my room
>roaming the land of azeroth
>fuckin orcs and shit
>damn this is cool
>mother decided to walk into my room at 2 am
>just took a fat ass rip
>had hood on cuz fuck i'm baked
>had window open to vent smoke out
>"why do you have your hood on silly"
>middle of fucking summer
>all the smoke i just inhaled pours out of my mouth
>oh fuck i'm so fucked
>"close the window then"
>walks out of room like nothing happened
>continue my adventures in the world of warcraft
everything went better than expected
>Go to beach with friends at night
>Smoke out of small bong
>walk down beach trying to get to other side
>feels like we walked for hours
>give up and head back
>takes ten minutes
>Cops drive onto beach
>Drop backpack with weed and bong on beach
>run and lie down (they wont see us here)
>see cops get out of car and grab backpack
>(shit they saw us)
>Go to cops and tell them its my backpack
>They let me keep my bong but tell me through the weed in the sand
>Through bag of weed on sand
>Office: No, empty it
>pick up bag embarrassed
>empty weed into sand
Man, seeing these stories makes me miss smoking. My friends and I used to just get bakeeeddddddd and fuck with the group "beta."
Lulz, used to hold lighter up to friends pants, give them two for flinching, shave heads, etc.
I was probably the worst fucker to smoke with, used to fuck with everyone.
>Be sitting in apartment
>Have mouse issue so mouse traps set
>Hear bang / crack
>Think "Fuck yes mouse caught"
>Pull out fridge and check trap
>"Fuck yeah mouse"
>Can't get building manager because weed stink, wait till morning
>Go to sleep
>Wake up go to get building manager
>Pull out fridge to make it easier for him
>Check trap again
>Fully set, untouched trap
>"Fuck I was high as balls"
>be freshmen in high school
>new to smoking
>After finishing our 3rd joint of the night friends and I decide to walk to McDonalds for a midnight snack
>Walk all the way there stoned harder than a Muslim woman showing her hair in Iraq
> Sitting in McDonalds enjoying a quarter lb. when my friends father comes running through the door screaming about how dare we sneak out and smoke weed in his house
>Called our black friend a "nigger drug dealer"
>Laughed because he wasn't wrong
>All of the graveyard shift employees behind the counter enjoying the show
>He yells for a solid 5 minutes before driving us all home
>Flushed our stash
>Bought more and did the same thing the next weekend
>be third year in college
>decide to make some weed butter with housemates
>first time making it, we follow some instructions online
>not sure if that's how it's supposed to look....
>burnt like crazy, but maybe it should be that way?
>we were gonna use it to make brownies but now we're not sure if we should do it because we may have just toasted the shit out of that THC
>however, we want to know if the butter was actually good without baking it into something
>buddy comes up with 10/10 plan
>pour the weed butter into shot glasses and take shots
>of weed butter
>we're pretty drunk at this point too so why the fuck not
>have some other housemates to record this
>we pour this nasty burnt liquid weed butter into two shot glasses
>head to the backyard and take off our shirts
>lock arms like drunk Irish fucks and take the shots
>shotgun a beer afterwards for good measure
>go about our daily business
>I start playing Skyrim
>buddy starts reading some philosophy shit for school
>hour later, still playing skyrim, feel a good buzz
>look over at my buddy
>he's passed out on his bed with the book over his eyes and his hand in a fucking Doritos bag
>laugh and continue my adventures as Dragonborn
>Walk into a Cumberlands Farms fucked up with some bros
>Looking for munchies
>Total qt behind register
>I fucking got this
>"Hello" she says
>"Good, how are you?"
>She smiles, rings our shit up
>"Do you want a bag with that"
>"Nah it's good"
>Down the road, "guys i'm pissed, she didn't give us a bag"
>They tell me everything I just said
>dgaf got munchies
>be summer time
>be pretty good cook
>hanging out in cape cod with a bunch of folks, maybe 8 of us?
>one of my boys comes home with 6 pounds of fresh scallops
>make up a massive batch of green and brown butter
>(brown butter first for nutty caramel flavor then mix in tons of weed)
>do the scallops on the grill, perfect, cover in green and brown butter
>serve with almond and raisin wild rice, tons of fresh cilantto salsa & chips, home made grilled bread and MORE green butter
>homemade 'ritas, Hornitos and Patron Orange
I think I ate two pounds of those scallops.
Irish lads don't fucking link arms when we take shots you arrogant faggoty american cunt. We man the fuck up and take the shot. I don't need some support to take a fucking shot.
>smoking a fat one with some white trash friend I had at the time.
>don't feel a thing.
>go watch that one Jeff Dunham special with the nigger puppet.
>gets to nigger puppet.
>nigger puppet has regal flowing chinese robes and massive white bushy brows.
>turn to friend.
>friend is now 8ft tall and ripped.
>try to process this.
> ask if his mother knows he became a viking.
tldr: I was baked out of my mind and I didn't realise even it until halfway through a movie.
I haven't smoked in a month. The longest I've been without weed in 5 years or so. All my dealers are gone, 2 months until I move into an apartment and go back to college. That's basically 2 more months until I can scout out a weed source, because tfw no car. All my friends that smoke moved away for college, except for one stoner who works more than full time but has no drivers license, so I never see him.
>Be me year and 1/2 ago
>start smoking pot at 22
>everything is cool, keep it from mom, smoke with dad
>at work one day and a friend tells me our mutual friend killed himself
FAST FORWARD to next day
>still kinda upset that I was the last person to really see friend
>my bar was the last he stopped at before going home
>decide to smoke pot with the mutual friend since she was only one there
>smoke a TON cause it was slow all night
>3 cars show up out of nowhere with 3-4 people each
>big group from the jail our friend was a corrections officer at
>mother fuck myself for smoking at work
**mind you, this was maybe 3 months after starting to smoke pot, so it was still a new experience**
>more unrelated people show up
>get everyone's drink order and can't remember any fucking one of them
>go back around the bar getting drink orders and making them as I go
>some fatass decides he wants a quesadilla (fuck my bar, has mad menu and we have to cook too)
>the whole bar explodes into a near synchronized "Can we have a menu?"
>I made the best food I think I've ever cooked at that bar
>made over $80 in tips on a completely dead night
>solely based on the bad ass food I made cause they loved it
>living off campus
>roommates all left for winter break
>i had 1 night alone before going home too
>decide to roll up
>go on computer
>order chinese food
>gonna bake while it gets here
>decide to use my entire stash before i go
>holy fuck thats a huge blunt
>planned to smoke it all and eat
>smoke 1/4 of it
>chinese food arrives
>back to finish smoke
>decide to finish the entire blunt
>holy fuck im high
>stomach is grumbling
>now 1/4 blunt remains
>suit up and go get some subway
>come back home
>eat the entire sub
>sobered up a bit
>decide to finish my blunt
>walk into kitchen to find some food
>mfw chinese food still on the counter
and it was the best general tsos ever
>smoke up with one bro
>other friend who doesn't smoke starts poking me
>turn to her and ask what the fucks up
>Nothin' Anon I dont know what you're talking about...
>does it more when I'm not paying attention
>Turn around and shout at her BITCH IM HIGH NOT RETARDED
Pic related - Her fucking face when
First time i ever got high, i had to, no shit, walk past the cops investigating the toaster steve incident. I lived in the building. Got high about 3 days after it happened and wished the officers a good day.
I once tried to mount Deamon Tools with Deamon Tools...twice. I think that was the most 'high' thing I've ever done tho I smoke almost every day.
>Semester in Europe
>Smoke a joint, end up laughing my ass off for hours for no reason
>First time back, buddy got liquid THC
>Another buddy says they have a little bit
>Smoke from her pipe
>Take a bunch of hits
>Say I'm doing it wrong, need to not smoke it like a cig, just take all that shit in immediately
>Huge quick HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
>can't stop it
>Let it out
>immediately projectile vomit over this semi attractive chubby chick
>She freaks and starts yelling
>I commence puking all over my buddy's flowers for ten minutes
>Finish up, walk back to group
>Another bud is holding a beer waiting for me
>Suggests I start getting drunk
And I haven't smoked since. And I still love alcohol. The end,
>at a friends house, high as shit
>friends mums friend is sleeping on couch like a bum
>we offer to smoke with him
>my turn to hit the joint
>"Ohshit man this ash is like reeaally long you gotta ash tray?"
>bum-friend offers out hand as temporary ash tray while we look for an actual one
>drop lit joint right in his hand
>burns his hand
>everyone laughs at me
Just bought this for one I get off probation. Can't wait.
>2 months ago
>me and 2 of my homies sitting on my couch blazing at night
>boot up the N64 for some Mario Party
>all of us are retard level high
>spend what felt like a month playing the most intense game of Mario Party imaginable
>full of betrayal, laughter, hatred, anger..everything
>game is over
>the CPU set to "easy" beat us all by a landslide
>sun is coming up at this point
>walked to Circle K high as fuck and bought donuts
>most delicious donut I've ever had
>watched the sun rise in the Circle K parking lot with 2 of my best buds while feasting on donuts
best night ever
>be me few years ago
>never been high
>obtain some marijuana
>allot of weed
>smoke like I drink
>till I black out
>smoke all the weed
>blasted to Jupiter
>monchie monster has arisen
>go to door
>forgot how to use door
>spend hour trying to unhinge dooor
>give up and freak out because ill never get out of my room
>cry untill I fall asleep
Yes, yes it does. It's weird man cause there are those moments in life that don't really seem that significant or memorable at the time but looking back on them you realize how happy you were in that moment. Weed makes me realize how significant a moment is AS it is happening. idk how to explain it.
Not funny as much as embarassing and made me look weird.
>smoke weed around baby's mom
>she's talking about a bassinet
>start saying "bass-wan-net" repeatedly and loudly, Tim & Eric style for no reason for five minutes
>stop and immediately look like I come off as fucking insane
>Be me a few weeks ago
>At friends house in the suburbs gettin' stoney baloney
>Have to go home
>Walk out to car and I see something run across the street
>Super dark, think I'm gonna get robbed
>Thing runs into the light of a house
>It's a buck, like an enormous reindeer type fucker, we'll call him Blitzen
>I'm so stoned wall Jackson.jpg
>I take out my knife
>Blitzen stamps his foot and says "Really motherfucker?"
>Shitzen Blitzen you're right
>Put knife away and run into car
>With the smug look of the obviously more alpha male, Blitzen disappears into the night
>This type of weird shit only happens when I'm stoned
Here's another. Nothing fancy. It's got some weird looking cloudy shit in it and I have no clue hat it's from. Going to har I clean before I even smoke out of it.
>Stoned as fuck with 3 of my bros
>Drive to Buffalo Wild Wings
>All too high to even order
>Waitress asks us what we want to drink
>We all just laugh
>She looks confused
>We eventually stop and my friend orders a water
>Other orders a coke
>Now its my turn
>"Can I have a cooled root beer with ice and a straw"
>Friends loose it
>Waitress laughs also
>Funny ass night
I still live with my parents, im working tho, they dont care if i smoke weed, because i dont smoke cigarretes or drink alcohol, I have a healthy life, and a job, they are fine is i smoke somewhere else so yeah
How i got cockblocked by weed
>be me at first uni party
>senior tells me to hit this magnificent 2 grand piece
>weed str8 purple i mean really fucking dank
>meh take one hit
>feeling good as shiet
>talk to chicks
>see str8 hot chick start flirting like i been doing it for years
>while flirting start experiencing gravitational shifts
>hold on to girls tits
>scream on top of my lungs the world is turning upside down
>no fuck was given by me
>timeskip 2 hours later
>somehow walking with smoking hot chick to her dorm
>start talking about doing dirty things to her when we get to her dorm
>she falls for it
>while in her hall to go to dorm
>Walk opposite direction
>she says her dorm is that way
>I say I have to go tell my friend about her
>hug.jpg and tell her to have a nice night
>almost lost virginity
currently high as fuck can't greentext
>be me, sunday
>go smoking with a few friends on a road thats like a trail through the woods
>smoke a blunt
>pretty damn high at this point, then my friend pulls a grav bong out of his car
>havent hit a bong or anything like that since like the summer
>get the first hit on the g bong
>holy shit i forgot how high it gets you
>got so high every color melted together for like 2 minutes, it was just like you mixed all colors together so there were splotches of different colors
>literally couldnt hear for a minute or so
>i have a broken leg and im on crutches so i couldnt move
>finally hopped over to the car and just leaned against it with my head on top and just sat there for 10 minutes like that, hitting another blunt
>it was at this moment my teacher pulls up
>hes really ethical and moral and philosophical and he just stares at me
>he backs out and leaves
>we get in the car and bailed
>life was a video game and i was controlling the driver (my friend) the whole time
>went and watched my friends play pick-up soccer
>i was controlling the players like fifa
>i look so fucked up haha
>my dad's friend comes over and talks to me, i just look at my phone the whole time
>i look up at him and he was high too and we both started laughing in front of his 10 year old son and high five
>go home and eat steak
>yesterday at school i made eye contact with my teacher and he winked at me lol
it was a good day
>July 4th this last summer
>2 friends, their families, my family, and me at the beach
>spend all day drinking on the beach
>make a grav bong that night, i brought an eighth of good-good with me
>We each have a hit from the g bong when my friend's (the one im smoking with) dad walks in to the garage
>He looks at us
>He looks at the grav bong
>We look at us
>We look at the grav bong
>We look at him, scared for our lives, and he pulls out a little of weed lol
>be in High School
>senior pretty hick school
>class only had like 110 people in it
>friends with everyone
>only friend of my nigger friend
>anyways go to bro who's mom is dating a pot growing dude place
>they like 40-50 so it's not really an odd couple
>get free weed because mom's boyfriend grows a lot
>try some dank shit i got from a dealer for once
>got too used to bros weed
>anyways was blue dream and shit was danka danka iykwim
>driving back to class
>with nigger friend
>drive straight piped 80s subaru GL
>felt like a rally driver coming back
>note it's like snowing
>nigger friend never really smoked good shit before and he's too pussy to smoke weed during school most of the time
>drifting like Mika Hakkinen back to school because country highway
>get back to school parking lot
>dude are you alright
>nigga looks like he just got off a rollercoaster
>dude you're a pussy
>nigger friend be like yeah because i felt like i was fucking floating coming back that's what made it terrifying
>start feeling like i'm floating while driving
>rear end friends shitty pathfinder
>go park like nothing happened
>pathfinder friend starts flipping shit at me
>i mean i only cracked his shitty fiber glass bumper
>pathfinder friend still bitching outside
>look at nigger friend
>bro you still floating?
>nigger friend go like fuc yeah mane
>we stoned as fuck
>idk i'm blazed
>bought a MFB cause my parents didn't know I smoked weed
>vape in my room and chill
>dad walks in "Stinks like weed in here"
>asks me what I'm smoking out of so I show him the cape
>sits down next to me and tokes up
>got high as fuck with my Dad
I smoke joints with my Dad nightly now. Shits cash
>be me six months ago
>sunk 8 cones in the space of 10 minutes
>last one was a monster cone out of a cp twice the size of the others
>had a train to catch home, 5 hour ride, bent = goodidea
>cant even carry bags to train, fried cunt.
>friend i was staying with takes my shit
>get to train station, eyes are bloodshot, too high to pay for ticket, need to sit down
>rush onto train, sit down
>enter the realm of marijuana
>brain going nuts for 10 minutes
>start feeling the overwhelming urge to chuck
>lie down, suppress as best i can
>train keeps shaking, i have my eyes closed, not good
>so fucking thirsty at this point
>friend boarded train with me cos he didnt think i would make it to central
>no energy in my blood at this point, manage to weakly warn friend of incoming spew
>he shuffles down the other end of the opposite seat
>groaning terribly at this point
>old lady across the row staring at me in shock
>conversation on carriage ends, all heads turn to me
>second wave imminent
>puke splattered all over floor and seats, velocity was so high my legs got drenched in splashback
>friend freaking out, gets me up to move to next carriage
>made a feeble attempt at cleaning my legs with shirt, discard in carriage
>hurridly move to next
>distinctly remember people in previous carriage asking each other if they smelt vomit
>walking through carriage, people saying that they smelt vomit
>a guy looked right into my bloodshot eyes mid sentence, his eyes widened by a factor of 15
>lie down in the exact same seat (carriages identical) in the next carriage, proceed to sleep, feel better now
>caught bus the remaining 2 hours of the trip, ended up shitting myself but too fucking fried to move
>sit in my own diarrhea for an hour with a pounding head
>walk straight to shower, mum asks me whats going on
>sit in shower, cry of joy that it was finally over
>new to weed
>my friend got the aparment for her self (her mother was working night)
>her boyfriend comes over with 5 gram of really potent weed
>he rolled 2 spliffs and light one up
>first spliff goes around couple of times and im sitting there with my hand in a chips bag eating like a robot
>boyfriend leaves and the other 2 are laughing like hell in the other room
>still not feeling high enough
>light up next spliff
>realize after 1/2 of the spliff that this was supose to be very potent
>right after i feel like someone drop kicked my head
>feel like i need to vomit
>stand up to walk to the bathroom and my legs doesn't work and i just fall to the floor
>start crawling to the bathroom, not gonna vomit in my friends apartment
>finnaly got there, after 2 months (it's 5 meters away from the chair i was sitting in)
>doesn't vomit even after i put my fingers back my throat
>start crawling to the couch cause i feel like i will pass out any time now
>crawl for another 2 months
>reach the couch, calls her boufriend to ask him about whats happening (im very new to this)
>explain that im cold and sweating like a fat man
>tells me to chill and that it will get better after i rest
>wake up 4 am
>shit school starts in 4 hours (it's a 5 hour walk)
>thinking "i will never smoke again"
>bought 10 gram next week
>the best weed ive ever seen, i mean this was some DAMN GOOD mariganja
>this weed looked like a mini evergreen tree covered in snow because it was so frosty
>Spend the next 3 hours in the garage smoking all of my eighth and his 4 g's
>We each had 9 grav bong hits
>We rolled 4 blunts
>We rolled 2 joints
>We smoked a decent sized bowl
>We were so fucking high
That all i remember, but my friends told me about the rest of the night the next morning
>after smoking, go inside and wake up non-stoner friend
>We start drinking
>I have 8 beers in the house
>We decide to go to a party like 30 miles away, and my blacked-out self drove
>First we stopped at a 24 hour dq for some munchies and listened to afroman (the only other memory i have of the night)
>Get to party, like 400 people there because it was at a mansion
>I proceed to drink a whole quart of evan williams by myself over the next 45 minutes
>Apparantly i was fucked up out of my mind, and it was about 4 am at this point
>Go into the back room and smoke hookah with a bunch of dudes tripping on acid
>Throw up in a plant
>Go do shots of wave
>Smoke a joint with hash in it
>My friend and i found 2 girls and they dragged us to the beach with them, but i had ( and still have) a girlfriend who i love a lot, so i wasnt gonna stand for this sloot's shit
>Standing on the water's edge on the beach
>She goes for the dick, and my blacked out self shoved her down into the water hahaha
>My friend literally pissed himself laughing and the girls left
>dude changed shorts in his car, left pissed in pair in drive way
>Went back inside
>did general party stuff for like an hour
>find my 3rd non-stoner friend passed out in a bed
>we carry him to the car, and i drove back even though i was still blacked out
>Made it back around 6 in the morning, jumped in the pool, dried off, and fell asleep until 3 that afternoon
>Made myself a bloody mary to get over my hangover.
>Had a great day after that :)
Another time was
>be me at party
>girl calls me to follow her to a room
>be me sitting in chair gone beyond the realm of space DMT plane
>girl ask why am I not coming
>still dont talk
>girl comes to me and tries to get me up
>I forgot how to use my legs
Grav bong not even once
Anyone know where i can get some DMT and should i do DMT?
>senior pretty hick school
>class only had like 110 people in it
My graduating class only had 9 and it took a 16 minute drive to get to the school
It was an awful time
Look who doesn't like fun guys
laughing my ass off and saved
Story 2 (by now mum knew i smoked weed)
>school night so i stick to J's
>have two with my bro
>get bent, decide fuck it and make a billy in 20 minutes, watching TV show
>sinking cones one after the other
>TV felt so loud..
>tell bro to turn off TV
>noise permeates my head even though there is none in the room
>rush to bathroom, bent over, no energy to hold self above sink
>think ive got it under control
>feel so fucked at this point
>call weakly for mum
>mfw she hears me
>so happy at this point, thought i was gonna die in there
>mum to the rescue
>cleans me up, gets me in bed
>get horny, try to fap, stop halfway through, too tired
I dont know whats going on but 1/5 times I smoke weed i end up like that.. If i have more than a cone every 10 minutes I begin the "nausea" stage. Sigh, fuck my life.
>decide to smoke in central park
>hide behind a huge rock, down a hill. in front of a lagoon
>blue lights across lagoon
>immediately bury the roach under/next to the rock
>friend lights cigarette
>cop circles around and calls us over
>"What are you guys smoking?"
>"it dont smell like cigarettes does it"
>cops takes our id
>has a look around
>doesnt find shit
>lets us go under the bullshit pretence of being nice to us.
>"gee thanks officer nelson, we will behave now bye"
fuck you pig.
>strip down to my panties and get in their pool
my parents live in another country and i got my own apartment now. after all those years of sneaking out at night to take a few hits and clean your cloths in secret to hide weed smell, all that shit... gone. never been happier
>Be a taco bell high as shit
>just chilling inside to avoid going home high
>see gang of hoodlums walk in
>get nervous and decide not to look them in the eyes
>friend quotes forrest gump
>i laugh while looking hoodrats in the eyes
>"Are you fucking laughing at me"
>"no, my friend said something funny"
>taco bell later closes
>hoodrats in car starring at me
>they pull out gun and point it at me
>my high friend walks between the gun and me not seeing the gun
>smoke more weed
>speeding while fucking high, car full of friends
>cop lights oh shit
>he talks to me, breathalyzes me
>gets me out of the car, has a massive chat with me about how bad I'd feel if I killed my friends
>then he's like look at the radar, the speed limit is 60, how much over were you travelling
>fucking simple sum, but I'm freaking the fuck out totally fucking high minds like fuck tryna do calaculus thinking about if the elctric train is driving and then which way the smoke is going and then if you substract while converting to yards and holy fuck I have paused waaay too long he's gonna know I'm high just fucking say something he's staring at you holy shit why is he so close to me I can almost feel his 6 ocklock shadow roughing up and down my cheek holy fuck just say something 23!
>cops like, what? Genuinely confused with me
>quick fuck explain yourself you are totally wrong comon sort you-
>just then my genius self steps in and brushes the lil nigger cogito aside and says three words of pure innocence, "I have disbraxyia"
>hope like hell he knows nothing about it because I don't except it's to do with numbes then he tells me I was this close to losing my licence (makes little pinchy hand sign like a crab faggot) and writes out a 320 dolla fine
Lucky really. Had over an ounce in the car between us, unlicensed handgun, over an 8ball of coke 15 or so hits of acid and one of my friends had an arrest warrant lucky he wasn't checked
>always a leightweight
>Go to friend 2 house with friend 1
>He is toking up
>Starts rolling a fatty
>Brother there says he smoked this shit when he first started, fucked him up.
>Asks me and friend one if we want some
>I take on giant fucking hit
>As soon as i leave hits me
>House is two blocks away
>Takes nine hours to get there
>Go to bed when im there
ONE HIT FUCKED ME UP
>get stoned beyond all comprehension one night with bros
>chill out and play bf4 for a bit...wrecking shit
>decide to head to good ole mcdonalds at 1am
>listen to glorious trippy jams on the way
>Role up to the drive thru,I'm driving and my bros are in with me
>bros order then me
>yeah can I get 2 large fries and a oreo mcfluffy
>cashier dude giggles,my bros lose their shit
>what's so funny guys
>get food and cashier guy plays it cool
>heading back, bro says I ordered a oreo mcfluffy
That was a good night
>two days ago
>wanna skate with my smoke buddy
>8pm we pick up a couple gs and our boards and head out on the town
>decide to smoke in a park
>smoke fat bowl
>proceed to get lost as fuck in the adjacent neighborhood
>spend an hour and half skating through this neighborhood high as shit
>finally find main road, we only traveled a quarter mile down the road from the park we smoked at in an hour and a half
>hungry, skate to Denny's
>walk inside, talk to server
>she asks us if it's cold outside, we say yeah
>she says that we smell like winter if you know what I mean
>we sit down, I realize I spilled my bubbler in my backpack when I didn't dump it all out
>all you can eat pancakes
>skated 9 miles that night
Any1 near the dartmouth area
trying to get real dank kush all they got is some shiet at Umass beside one kid who got really dank kush but on the dankness scale of dank kush its like a 5/10
Lol I should point out, their home is in the middle of the suburbs, maybe 3/4 acre? It's like a golf course, too, their pool is plainly visible from like 8 or 9 other houses.
But if it's late and it's a beautiful night I'm going in there naked, shit is so cash. Gotta be quiet though.
They got the pool after I left for college, so I never got to party there really. assholes.
Dude I'm a lightweight too and I've had the same. One bong hit can always fuck me up because I don't smoke regularly.
>Moms gone for 3 weeks and I'm home alone the whole time. She thinks I'm perfect child
>Well I gotta do something well shit
>Decide to have a bunch of people over and get ripped
>Friend brings the finest weed possible. He also has a shit ton of kief in his grinder
>We pack a kief bowl in my bong
>Decide to put THC oil in the bowl as well, and wax too
>My friend wants me to hit it first so I happily oblige
>Breathe in super slowly, making it super thick. I literally take a full minute to get a full breath of it.
>When I'm done the bowl is on fire cause oil
>One of my other friends is his first time smoking
>I'm taking pizza out of oven and explaining how to breath in right and shit
>Holy fuck I'm high
>Trying to explain how to use a bong when high as fuck. One hit and I'm fucked up already.
>I end up smoking a gram of kush, keep in mind I'm a lightweight and I haven't smoked in several months
>One of my other friends filled up the sink with water and is filling up his cup by dipping it in
>Tell him hes doing it all wrong. Realize I need to drain the sink so I get a roll of paper towels
>These paper towels suck I literally go through like 7 rolls and the sinks only half empty now
>Realize theres a drain
it reminds me of my youth. Back when getting high was an adventure and not a habit.
>Bored as fuck with bud
>Random kid from town messages us wanting to hang
>Kid comes over with hella xanax and beer
>Get drunker than hell and barred out
>Kid decided he wanted to get a gram
>Can barely walk to the car
>Dude slams it in reverse
>Instantly know were probably gonna crash
>Somehow manage to get there and buy the gram
>Heading back to my house
>Ask the kid if his suv is a v6 or a v8
>"Does this sound like a v6?"
>Floors it down some neighborhood
>Going 55 in like a 15
>Look in backseat to tell my friend he should probably buckle up
>Motherfucker found a motorcycle helmet and put it on
>Hes more prepared than I am
>Hear dumbass kid yell"FUCK THAT STOP SIGN"
>Fly passed it
>Dude is trying to drift this giant ass suv going like 60
>Loses control and heads straight for some house
>Slam into telephone pole going like 60
>Pole falls over
>Dude is knocked the fuck out on his steering wheel
>Owner of the house we almost obliterated comes out with a gun
>Yells at knocked out kid not to fucking move
>Look at my friend in backseat and hes awake
>Tell him we need to get the fuck out of there
>Grab the weed so the kid doesn't get busted with it
>Book it to my house
>Make it there safely
>shittingbricks.jpg expecting the cops to roll up on us
>Hiding everything illegal
>No one came
>Didn't hear from the kid for like a year
>Apparently he had to pay 10k for the damages and go to rehab
>mfw I could have been a part of that
I understand your viewpoint but wouldn't that go for 90% of shit on /b/?
Why continue discussing chicks you scored nudes of like a college kid ?
Why discuss video gaimus dont younger people tend to play those?
Why be an asshole, anon.
"floor weed" the legendary creativity of the stoner.
>be me last night
>smoking trees and dabbing oil
>very high tolerence but haven't dabbed in a couple months
>take MONSTER rip out of an oil rig
>5 mins pass
>vision starts to blur and fade
>stand up to go to the restroom
>get a massive head rush
>vision goes completely black, cant see shit
>loud pitched ringing
>fall downs stairs
9/10 would do again
I just realized I smoked myself deaf and blind.
Wait when did I get a picture of Captain America riding a raptor?
Jesus fuck maybe I am high
>at a wedding
>wedding is at a farm
>farm is middle of fuck nowhere NY
>old hippies getting married
>I'm taking pictures with my big old thousand dollar SLR
>lots of drink, wedding cake full of green
>supposed to be camping on their farm
>ate a slice of cake or two or three IDK
>piece of shit boyfriend has passed out at a picnic table, he was shot racing the oldfag groom
>starting to feel weird, go to set up tent
>forgot the tent stakes
>wake up boyfriend, he stands up and immediately spins and falls on ground.
>all up to me to figure out this tent shit
>I slip and fall too, manage to twist in air
>holding camera straight up in the air with face in the dirt
>completely fucked up
>stand up, walk to car about three paces.
>fall down, face in the dirt near back tire, cam held high
>work my way on one hand and knees to the back door of car
>probably took a half hour
>camera held high the whole time
>open door over my head, reach hand into back seat and carefully put camera on the floor
>slide into front seat, one leg still outside the car door
>wake up, realize door is open and one foot outside, pull foot in and shut door
>boyfriend climbs in back seat at some point, w/e he's a retard
>car too hot, start car to open windows and accidentally put in gear, car rushes forward towards ravine but I pull the e brake just as wheels start to go over
>wake up next morning, half of $300 satin dress is covered in mud, legs covered in mud, mud everywhere in the car, boyfriend never made it all the way in the backseat and it's a miracle i didn't run over his stupid ass
>camera is perfect.
Well this was a fun thread
I will go to sleep high as fuck now
goodnight fellow weed experts we shall meet another day
/b/ didnt fail me today
what if you mix your already mix werd,
with another already mix weed
I was extraordinarily fucked up and can't answer this question. It was an 8 yo Passat with a fucked up clutch so I assume at some point I had the e brake engaged; maybe it was poking me while I was sleeping. Sleeping in a driver's seat is NOT a good time.
Got a couple.
>Sitting in friends room smoking a bong
>really fucking baked after a few min
>playing PS3 when I see my friend pick up a piece of his broken blinds off of the floor
>he has his window fan on the highest speed
>drops the broken piece of blind
>fan sucks it out of the window at light speed
>we look at eachother and laugh for 20 minutes straight
>get Pokemon Platinum
>go back to my house with other friend
>hanging out in the kitchen and smoke
>good and stoned, playing Pokemon
>gotta nickname my starter
>"dude what should I nickname my starter?"
>"hmmm.. I dunno..."
>"I'll name it surfsirloin"
>we start laughing until faces beat red and teary eyed
>start talking about what a steak would look like standing up on a surfboard riding a huge wave
>visiting family in B.C.
>trying to hook up with a girl I met years earlier
>she's in the next town over, so I go to a bus stop
>waiting for like 20 minutes
>fucking bus rolls right past me, driver with a trollface
>fuck it, I'm trying to get laid
>picked up almost immediately by older guy in a trashy truck
>we have a nice conversation and he tells me he can take me right into town
>"but first I have to stop at home"
>oh fuck this is how I die
>We stop at his house, middle of nowhere in the woods
>Im waiting in car
>he comes back, starts the truck and drives off
>he smiles and holds up a FAT joint "you smoke?"
>hell fucking yeah
>we're driving and hotboxing his truck
>this is good shit, i'm getting baked as fuck
>I smoke a lot and I still got fucked
>he drops me off at the bus stop in the next town
>i'm so high I think the sounds of the bus are like dubstep
>meet up with girl
>get a bottle, get drunk as fuck
>play in the river (instaboner from her bikini)
>buy some weed from random clown by river (he ripped me off but whatever, I was already fucked up by that point)
ok here's where the story turns
>she starts freaking out saying "fuck someone stole my coke"
>I had no idea she was a dealer/user until then
>she runs off to some guys house to ask for help
>i try to stop her and tell her to chill
>she kisses me and tells me to wait for her
>pass out on someone's lawn
>wake up several hours later
>try to call ex college roommate to help me find out where the fuck I am
>eventually call dad to pick me up
>brodad doesn't ask any questions
>freshman year of college
>saturday afternoon and I make plans to hang out with a girl who wants the d
>friend of mine asks if I want to meet up and get food
>show up and notice he's high, offers to smoke me up after we eat
>"alright but I better not be blazed as hell when I go to meet up with this girl"
>go back to his dorm room and I ask where we're smoking
>"uh, in the room"
>"dude that's fucking retarded we're going to get caught"
>"no its fine I did it before trust me I got it covered nothing will happen"
>"alright fine but this is fucking stupid"
>hadn't smoked in months, shit hit me hard
>watching parks and rec geeking out when there's a knock on his room door
>"campus police, open up"
>think someone is fucking with us so I check the peephole
>"dude holy shit it's the cops"
>we both pace around the room aimlessly for 15 seconds not knowing what the fuck to do while they are still knocking
>finally we open the door
>two cops walk in, one white one black
>"We got a call about the hallway smelling like marijuana and the smell led us to this room"
>sit in silence trying to keep my cool face on
>black cop talks
>"Now it looks like you guys have been smoking marijuana, especially you" as he looks at me
>I can't say anything so I just look up at him with this goofy ass half smile because I can't decide whether to laugh or shit my pants
>cops search the room and my friend gives him the weed he had
>friend had to take piss tests for 6 months I didn't have to do shit
>leave friend's after the cops leave and go hang out with girl
>encounter totally killed my high
>>"i'm so high I think the sounds of the bus are like dubstep"
>me and my mate just got ourselves some hash, we had never had it before.
>pack a cone each and springle some hash on top
>wow thas some pretty sticky yicky shit yo my nigga. 420 yo!
>feeling good, so decide to take another 2 bong hits each
>talk about how good the hash is and seems to be a cleaner high... "i can do anything, im so switched on, lets go get some food for later"
>walking down the street both telling each other how not high we are
>suddenly realise we have been laying on the road for the past 10 mins because as soon as we left his house we saw this cute cat and decided to lay down with him/her and pat it.
>we named the cat fluffy pickle
>Couple weekends ago
>Chilling with very close friends, having a smoke up
>Out on the back deck
>Smoking two different mixes at once
>Stoned as fek
>It's a full moon night so it's hella bright (as apposed to a normal, moonless night)
>It's also hella windy.
>I keep looking up at the clouds flying past (I mean they were going pretty fast)
>Start tripping because they're moving so fast
>Go inside because munchies
>No seriously nigger, I'm a fucking fiend for munchies. Nigger for serious, munchies is where I'm at.
>Eat a whole block of chocolate,
>3 energy drinks,
>Packet of chips,
>So full, yet still so hungry
>Remember I have nuggets in the freezer
>Cook those bad boys, eat them like I was starving
>Can't move from being so high/ full
>Best friend gets home from work
>"Hanny... I'm hungry" (her name is Hannah, Hanny is my nickname for her)
>Other friends looking at me like "are you even fucking serious"
>I give them the look of "I've got this guys"
>Hanny brings me back a big bowl of spicy ramen noodles
>AWWYISS! Love me some spicy ramen.
>Start eating, I'm in bliss.
>Half way through the bowl, stomach starts hurting
>"I'll be right back guys"
>Mainline straight to the bathroom and boff everything back out
>Was so "hungry" that I didn't really chew my nuggets
>They're tearing my fucking throat open
>After 5 mins I'm fine, head back to the festivities
>Friends all give me an ashamed look after boffing
>Look them dead in the eyes and finish that bowl of ramen
tl;dr - Hanny is a good friend
>be in friends shed
>be smoking for the first time out of a bong my friend bought
>couldnt figure out how to use the fucking bong
>shed door burst open
>its my friends dad
>asks us what were doing
>one kid tells him were smoking while we try to hide the bong
>friends dad grabs bong
>takes the biggest rip ive ever seen
>burns through all of the weed
>pulls out a tinfoil bowl from drawer in shed
>passes it to us and leaves the shed
mfw my friends dad was the first person I smoked with
>Go to class stoned (hit a bowl before class started
>Professor tells the whole class I got a perfect score on our online homework
>Everyone stares and looks at me
>almost shit myself
i used to do that shit when i was 15 with my dad lol. wed smoke, get serious munchies, but the fridge was empty (due to late night munchies). so wed go to taco bell every couple days. then wed go to mcdonalds for their internet. just gotta buy a mcchicken or a drink and maybe some fries and theyll let u stay for hours.
downloading porn is a little complicated there tho. gotta maneuver yourself into the corner and not look suspicious.
>really stoned one day at a party
>got invited by weird beta who was my only friend
>it was his brothers party
>mad people are showing up, im there
>my friends brother knows this hot ass blonde
>im talkin 10/10 fuk this bitch
>i took 1 bowl hit, I was dying
>fell over a banister right in front of blonde
>stood up with my pants down
>started beating off and following her
>got thrown out of party
>shuffled my trench coat and fedora
>sped walk at 45MPH to my house
>had to do this, was carrying replica katana
>went home, watched anime and browsed /b/
Man I don't get high that much, but when you can cook like I can high people think you're MacGuyver.
For example, I can turn flour, milk and some jimmy dean into sausage biscuits and gravy in under 20 minutes.
I remember once I went to this guy's house for a party and all he had was some shit hamburger meat and white bread. I whipped up some cowboy burgers (coffee + pepper + garlic + salt in a rub) that hero'd that party. Dudes were getting me beers the rest of the night while I chilled by the chiminea.
I have another story but not about me
>be in chemistry class like two days ago
>be high as fuck
>kid on the other side of class starts saying stupid shit
>everyone is looking over at him
>kid is losing his shit now and stares blankly into space
>some girl asks if hes high
>whole fucking class is looking at him now
>kids face gets all red
>doesnt say a word and walks out of class while professor is speechless
mfw when they didnt call me outt
>>580158383 well I wasn't aware of this mixing it with tobacco thing when I was smoking it up in New Zealand, but when I was in Australia smoking that awful hydro crap they have over there, they mix with tobacco.
I can't fucking archive it !!!! chrome is not working properly
>pls sum1 4archive.org this
>you only have to paste this link in 4archive.org
>share it here.
man i havent smoked in about 8 years due to panic disorder but i recently got diagnosed with angle closure glaucoma and live in Missouri where medicals not legal and know no one to get any from, dont get glaucoma kids, it actually sucks
>2nd period senior year
>Smoke weed out of some vapor pen thing in bathroom
>Some faggot freshman Bieber kid sees me
>Tells on me
>Get called to office
>Dickhead principal asks to search my bag
>Confidently throw bag on desk
>Principal says "well I can tell you didn't do it, I'll be letting you get back to class now"
>Never searched bag
>Be me with friend, sophmore year of high school
>Dealer picks us up, we hotbox the fuck out of his car
>Friend calls us, asks if were going to the school's basketball game
>Walk in the school front doors, stoned out of our minds
>Large black man in a booth selling tickets right as we walk in
>1 student ticket please, we both say
>Large black man proceeds to say "follow me"
>leads us to the auditorium, opens the door and shows us in
>Sit down in back row of auditorium
>People up on stage talking in gibberish English
>We still have no idea what's going on
>Buddy looks down in his hand at what he thought was the roster lineup for the Basketball game
>It's the Credits for a King Lear performance
>Start laughing uncontrollably
>Mfw when we just bought tickets to the school play
>Mfw we sat in that back row laughing for like 15 minutes before we left.
Sometimes I miss high school
lol. ya, if im at mcdonalds, i have to order some fries. sometimes thatll be dinner. a medium fries. i ended up being friends with alot of the employees there tho, id sell weed to everyone, and i was going out with the cute little mixed girl that always gave me free mcflurries for a while. her dad (very large black man) fucking loved me. we called him "Yella" cuz he was white on the inside, so it made him yellow.
>High school, 16.
>Parents won't be home for a while.
>Got weed no piece.
>Make a gravity bong out of a 2 liter.
>The waterfall kind not the bucket kind.
>Used superglue to hold a socket in the cap.
>Run a full dub right through in one go.
>Damn thing is pure yellow.
>Take as much as I can.
>Must cough, try to pull bottle away.
>Bottle is perfectly sealed between my lips with superglue.
>Decide I must breath all of this in and out of my nose in order to survive.
>Fail miserably, coughing into the 2 liter and inhaling deeply from it again.
>Realize I must rip this thing off of my face before I become the worlds first stupid fuck to kill himself with weed.
>Rip off bottle taking much of my lips with it.
>Good fucking times man...
All the kids these days smoke blunts. They are utterly disgusting but if you're wanting to be high you have no choice. I usually gag and choke on the first couple rounds but then I get used to it. I miss good old joints. No one likes joints. Always with the nasty watermelon blunt. Yuck.
>Be me, just turned 18.
>Stoner friend comes to party, shows me he has a joint.
>Go out around 1am and smoke it while walking.
>Up till that point I had only low quality shit, my body flips its shit due to the fact this is some top shelf stuff.
>Top of my face goes numb
>Tell my buddy, he asks if he can slap me.
> "Why not"
>slaps the shit out of me for like 12 minutes cant feel a goddamn thing.
>Thirty minutes later bad trip stops, my jaw really hurts.
>Apparently he punched me during this, dislocated my jaw. Go to the hospital to get it fixed
And this is why my friends call me lockjaw.
>be at friends party
>decide to buy a dub from my friend
>ask if I can use his bong
>hotbox my car, smoke full dub after like 2 hours
>come back into party
>everyone is staring at me
>sooo fucking baked
>see hot girl Ive been trying to bone for a while
>friend tries to hooks me up with her
>realize i didnt shave my pubes in like a month on account of never getting laid
>ask friend if i can shave in his bathroom
>most fucked u shave job ever, bleeding and shit
>chilling on couch
>hot girl comes up
>start making out and shit
>she just stops and walks away
>FOR NO FUCKING REASON
>see this girl at like every party now
>shes basically fucked all of my friends
>smoking weed in my friends shed
>other friend pulls out a couple of beers
>drink a little
>Smoke several bowls
>go to mcdonalds
>smoke several bowls
>go to mcdonalds... again
>Start to play with a lighter
>light my pants on fire
>friend saves my goddamn life, puts it out
>he bursts out laughing
>sprays beer everywhere, I get ysoaked
>I don't give a fuck, dude saved my life.
>and bought me mcdonalds... twice (although, to be fair, I bought most of the weed.)
>give him my beer, I'm more of a bourbon kinda guy anyway.
>Get high as fuck.
16 years old
In car blazing a joint of Jamaican.
Cop comes down dirt backroad. Dirt. Not gravel.
Smells our weed.
Blocks car in.
Weed in plain sight.
4 joints rolled and ready to go.
Sees can sticks in trunk.
We used them to pick up cans to sell.
Real concerned about nails sticking out.
Show him how sticks work.
Runs our id.
All clear. Goes on his way.
One joint missing.
Was fattest one.
Had this kinda happen but with acid....
>Be with friend all day
>Around 11 people get there and start to drink.
>Random acid run
>several hours later no one else but buddy and me
>proceed to drop 3 hits he takes 4-5
>Been about 5 years since bad trip last time.
>fair amount of time passes
>This shit is bunk we going to denny's
>come up while driving just think its the booze
>get inside denny's
>swinging light move's
>Friends says naw its really moving
>peak like a thousand suns inside brain
>proceed to have a great time for several hours
>smoking in my friend's garage
>pretty damn stoned
>hold up plastic bag
>"dude, what if we like, hotboxed in this shit"
>friend gives me the most intense look of frusteration, dissapointment, and pity I've ever had directed in my direction
>we both burst out laughing
>be me, 13
>total beta faggot, obsessed with anime
>make friends with a guy at school who was held back 2 years
>cool guy, a little slow, cool things to say, smells funny
>go to his house one day
>his mom says im nice, and says to stay in school cuz im smart and all that bullshit
>we go in his room
>he pulls out a 2 foot bong
"holy shit man, whered you get that?"
>"birthday present from my dad"
"Woah, you smoke WEED!?"
>"totally. its great. want some?"
>he teaches me how to smoke
>i get baked
>fuckin love it
and thats where things get fuzzy, and stay fuzzy til i turned 16. at least i lost my virginity at 13 (i think). to his sister too. she was hot. i think she only fucked me cuz she wanted to lose her virginity and her parents grounded her for bad grades.
stoned here in cali
>smoked like two times
>friend decides we should do brownies and go to a concert
>eat brownie, driving to concert
>dont feel it yet
>standing in line waiting to get in
>see security guards patting people down
>friend pulls another brownie out of his fucking pants and tells me to eat it quick
>reach hand out
>look at the ground, the fucking brownie had rolled away
>fuck it, walk in to concert
>2 friends go in a mosh pit
>i dont know where they went
>other sober friend says they probably died in the pit
>I start to cry
>see friends, hug them
I spent the rest of the night in the corner of the venue laughing, some guy came up to me and asked for rolling papers and I told him to fuck off and that we dont smoke, forgot I was trippin balls on brownies, never been that high before
>From small rural town, finally in big city
>Find solid weed connect with prices half from hometown
>Buy from him once with buddy at night, vaguely remember where house is
>Hit him up next day
>Come over, smoke out
>Tells me to just come inside when I get there
>Show up and see his car parked in front of house
>Walk up and open door
>3 Dogs start going fucking crazy
>See little baby jumper in living room
>Drug dealer parks in front of neighbors house
>3 dogs trying to bite me
>Casually try to walk next door with dogs following
>Leave front door open
>Drug dealer starts laughing his ass off
>I start laughing
>Smoke a bowl
>Leave house and see dogs calmed down and running in street and shit
>neighbors front door wide open
>Idgaf too stoned
>>July 4th this last summer
friends, their families, my family, and me at the beach
>>spend all day drinking on the beach
>>make a grav bong that night, i brought an eighth of good-good with me
>>We each have a hit from the g bong when my friend's (the one im smoking with) dad walks in to the garage
>>He looks at us
>>He looks at the grav bong
>>We look at us
>>We look at the grav bong
>>We look at him, scared for our lives, and he pulls out a little of weed lol
should have ended it there lol
>in friends garage
>waaaay too sober, waiting for our dealer to show up
>playing hackeysack to pass time
>it gets suck in the rafters
>being the one skinny dude, I must retrieve it
>climb up that shit like a ninja
>I jump down, dealer pulls up
>we both see my friends playing hackeysack with a dead fucking bird
>we join in
>we're terrible people.
Tripping on 2 hits of blotter.
Go ride through small towns looking at kids in costume and egging them.
Stop in tiny town with 1 red light.
Look at kids and trip on them.
Go back to truck.
Short fat cop that looked like Witchy poo stops us.
Calls out me and 5 other guys.
Takes us to town hall/holding cell.
Has 6 sets of handcuffs out.
Leaves us alone in cell.
Comes back wants to search truck.
I sign papers. Know there are no fireworks.
He searches truck.
Ignores 3 bowls in truck.
And ashtray with like 20 roaches in it.
And partially full egg cartons.
Apologizes for detaining us.
Lets us go.
We are all like "Did that really happen?"
LMFAO I have a similar story.
>summer night bubbler session at the local elementary school
>stars out and pretty chill
>smoke a bowl more than i should have
>really really riggidy wrecked
>call up my local sweet and sour pork supplier for that chinese goodness
>aim to get home in 25 minutes to pick up the delivery
>completely forget as i'm walking home and stop by corner store
>as i'm purchasing my slurpee and god tier corn nuts I forget I had to be home for the delivery
>race my ass home scared i will miss it
>make it to my front door after what felt like a half an hour run
>>give up and freak out because ill never get out of my room
Same shit happened to me the first time I got high. Except I was in a movie theater bathroom and my friends were waiting for me because Wreck-It-Ralph was about to start.
>Get fucking stone cold stoned
>Hear the ice-cream truck
>23 yr/o don't give a fuck gimme dat ice-cream truck
>I am captivated by how cool the driver looks.
>"Bruh, you look so cool, your look fuckin works, man"
>Probably got a weird stare, don't remember
>Sober up, realize what I did
>I'll never see him again lol
>Me and bro go to a dealer we're meeting for the first time
>It's the fucking ice-cream truck guy holy shit
>Recognizes me instantly
>Makes fun of me, said it was the funniest stop he ever had
>Informs me he sells out of his truck, could have gotten really high then and there
>we all have a laugh
>We all get high
Ice-cream truck bro got pinched.
>chillin at a friends house
>whips out vortex pipe
>"can we smoke this resin?"
>proceed to take resin hits
>makes a few rotations
>resin barely gone
>10 minutes later
>"you good on this?"
>bowl sits on me for a good 5 minutes
>take 4-5 big ass resin hits
>forgot to breath in between hits
>"i'm gonna use the bathroom real quick"
>camp on toilet and take a mean shit
>the high hits me mid-shit.
>everything started spinning
>head be moving around like a bobble doll
>try to stand up
>have no balance
>stumble to the bathroom door
>instead I fall on the floor and assume tim tebow pose for a good two minutes
>finally open door
>walk to recliner chair in living room
>pass out for an hour
tl;dr: resin is no joke
Crazy stoned storys?
>never smoked bong
>Buy 3 g's
>smoke it all in one sitting
>start to watch brickleberry
>on my feet
>I am the size of a skyscraper
>fall on the ground face first
>Sit there for what feels like 5 hours
>Hunger is killing me
>Think about what ive done
>realize I have got so stoned i am a vegtable
>want to cry but cant so high
>get a text from mom
>look at my phone read it
>after I realize I am not a vegetable
>all is forgiven
>only 12 minutes into brickleberry when i sit down
>hear stove ding
>pizza is done