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>Be me, leader of the Imperial army in Skyrim
Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network issues. Refreshing the page usually helps.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random


Thread replies: 281
Thread images: 74
>Be me, leader of the Imperial army in Skyrim
>Stuck in a bullshit civil war because elf assholes are radical fucking milk-drinkers
>Banned some bullshit god and now I have to deal with viking ISIS
>Getting too old for this shit
>One day some asshole in shitty iron armor shows up
>He says he wants to join the Legion
>Wait, this asshole was at Helgen
>He survived the fucking dragon
>With his hands tied, wearing rags
>Already dealt with shit for letting prisoners escape after the attack, let's make him pay
>Send him to go get some bone crown or some shit
>Hopefully he'll get murdered by the stormcloaks

>Hear reports of dragons being killed throughout the country
>Whatever, less paperwork for me

>About 2 years later the guy comes back... wearing armor made out of dragon bones
>Strangely, he's bleeding out, looks close to death
>Everything stops for a moment, I can't move
>He suddenly heals back up to perfect health and gets even more built
>He hands me the bone crown like it's nothing
>Fucking Akatosh I've gotta get rid of this guy
>He crouches down right in front of me
>Oh fuck where did he go
>Look at guard next to me
>Oh shit
>He's now naked, holding an apple pie and wearing some stupid jester hat
>Asshole reappears in front of me, strangely wearing the guard's armor
>Eh it's probably just my imagination
>Send him on some bullshit raiding missions against winter muslims
>Pray to the divines he gets murdered out there
>>
6/10
>>
>>581774840
Lost it at 'winter muslims'
>>
I can do more if wanted?
>>
>>581775380
Yes
>>
8/10
>>
>>581775380
Bump for more
>>
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>Still stuck in a civil war
>Fuck this shit I'm done
>At least the raids are going well, clearing out Al Queda pretty quickly
>Strangely every soldier is dead afterwards
>One day the dragonbone asshole walks up to me
>It takes him 3 fucking hours to walk through Solitude he's so weighted down
>Pulls out about 200 sets of imperial armor
>Office is fucking filled with sets of my dead soldier's armor
>He picks one up and rubs it on my face
>It even still smells like the soldier who wore it
>Can't do anything, he's not breaking any laws
>Guard brings me a report
>Says that dragonboner keeps killing all the the fucking troops
>I can't do anything, no proof
>Guard looks at dragonbone
>"Hey I know you"
>Dragonbone starts screaming at him about how many confirmed kills he has and bullshit
>"My mistake"
>Guard turns around, dragonbone immediately starts to strip
>Oh fuck where'd he go
>See dragon bone leap out of the pile of armor like a horker
>Stabs guard in the throat, immediately goes back to his ballpit of corpse loot
>Look at guard's dead body
>"Oh, what happened?"
>>
>>581777070
I like cause relatable
>>
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>>581777070
>he picks one up and rubs it in my face
I lost it at this point.
>>
>>581774840
6/10
>>581777070
Getting better
7/10

Moar OC if you have
>>
>>581777654
No problem mang. Also, I'd appreciate some specific feedback if anyone has any to give. I'm not too practiced at writing greentext
>>
>>581778018
This is actually pretty amusing for some reason
>>
>>581777070
keep it up, mayn. Other people join in. This is comedy gold over here.
>>
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bump
>>
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>Working my day job at the local black smith shop
>Wanderer comes up and asks if he can use our smelter
>Tell him it's ok as long as he doesn't steal
>Come back out 15 minutes later
>Iron daggers everywhere
>>
>>581774840

Meh, this was pretty funny until I took an arrow to the knee...
>>
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I'll dump what I have
>>
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>>581779221
Kill yourself
>>
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where do I go to learn magic?
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>>581775380
PLEASE do more
>>
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>Be me, majestic goat.
>Walking through a forest eating whatever grass i can find in this fucking snow.
>Suddenly see a guy in heavy iron armor.
>Hear him grumbling about lamps for his house or something.
>He sees me and gives me the weirdest stare.
>Swear i can hear him whispering "finally" under his breath
>Suddenly he yells at me and i fly the fuck away.
>Hit a tree and break my neck, cant move
>See him walking towards me, this is the end
>I died in battle, Goathalla here i come.
>Guy cuts off my horns
>MY. FUCKING. HORNS.
>He runs away all giddy, leaving me here like this.
>Fucking nutter
>>
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>>581779979
Goathalla/10
>>
>Civil war is almost over
>Boned Dragon seems to complete every mission really fucking easily
>Shit's coming to a finale, about time to storm Windhelm
>Gather the entire Imperial army outside the walls of the rebel capital
>The whole 20 man army
>And dragonbone
>Fucking dragonbone
>Start to give a battle speech or some shit
>I don't even care at this point, I haven't had a sweetroll in weeks
>Dragonbone charges ahead of the entire army and into the city first
>Walk in a couple seconds later
>There's already a pile of about 10 corpses in front of the gate
>Dragonbone is standing on top of a building with a bow
>He pulls back an arrow and starts to spin at light speed
>Releases the arrow and shoots an imperial soldier through the heart
>Whatever, we've got a jihad to kill
>Dragonbone murders about 20 more soldiers in the blink of an eye
>We're about to rush into the palace when all of a sudden, he stops
>Runs over to the weeds bordering the walls and beings to pick them
>Immediately shoves them in his mouth and gets poisoned
>Starts doing this with a whole shit ton of random vegetables and flowers
>Really nigga
>Eventually runs into the palace
>Kill all the guards myself while dragonbone keeps trying to cast some bullshit spell
>Eventually he does. A huge fiery explosion sends corpses flying around the room
>A couple hit me in the face
>Idegaf
>Start talking to Ulfric Bin Laden
>Dragonbone is now running up and down the table throwing plates and shit in every direction
>Say fuck it and give him a sword to murder this asshole
>Dragonbone starts to rub the sword on Ulfric's face, not doing any damage
>Eventually shouts at Ulfric so hard that he flies across the room
>Whatever, he's dead
>Look for dragonbone to congratulate him
>He's already fucking gone
>Thank the divines, let's hope I never see this asshole again
>>
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only a couple left
>>
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>Traveling with J'zargo
>he says some shit about how if anybody sneeks up he will smell them coming
>watch this fucking skeleton walk up behind him and hit him right on the back of the head
>he tells me "maybe not"
>acts like nothing happened
>Totally lose it
>I have to deal with this fucking guy?
>Murder them both
>mfw
>>
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that was the last of the Traveling with Lydia guy's stories. I have a few others
>>
>>
Anybody have the character-roll graphic? Looking to roll character.
>>
>>
>>581774840
Lost at winter Muslims.

Wanna play skyrim now...
>>
>>581781074
>Nord
>Warrior
>named Lydia
use Lydia as follower
>>
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>be me
>just escaped the executioners block
>heading towards some town for ale or some shit don't really give a fuck
>hear a roar and some shouting
>oh shit it's a giant fighting some of my fellow nords
>use bow to help them
>thebiggertheyarethehardertheyfall.jpeg
>qt walks up to me
>starts talking about how I should consider joining their group the companions
>can only think about how my dick needs a companion
>go into city and find their group
>join for some of that nord pussy I met, learn her name is Aela
>battle with them for a while do errands and shit
>learn their dark secret
>hungrylikethewolf.jpeg
>Aela's friend dies
>avenge him for her favor
>become Harbingers and marry her
>sex is great but she doesn't want to ruin her figure so we adopt a few kids
>year passes been doing dragonborn things
>wife becomes boring as fuck only telling me basic shit like "welcome back."
>we start arguing because I want to feel like I'm talking to a real person
>kids crying
>fuck this I'm out
>I left my wife and kids for a qt Vampire girl
>sex is better
>no children
>mfw
>>
>>581780508
lost it at light speed, i serousouly havent laughed this hard in a while
>>
>>581777070
Ballpit of corpse loot.

Losing it here OP. pls keep going...
>>
>>581780508
I lost it at Ulfric Bin Laden
>>
I'm gon do other people besides Tullius now. Any requests?
>>
>>581782065
tolfdir
>>
>>581782065
Ulfric
>>
>>581780508
saving for future use btw hope that's cool
>>
>>581782065
Lydia
>>
>>581782065
Alduin
>>
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>>581781074
Gotcha Broski
>>
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>>581774840
Im gunna try this again
>>
>>581782065
Cicero
>>
>>581782271
Seconding this
>>
Well aren't I popular? Working on Tolfdir, then Lydia and Alduin
>>
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How about the fucking nightmare-walking courier?
don't let pic confuse you
>>
>>581782445
>>581782436
Fucking mindlink
>>
>>581782065

lydia plox

also thank you for the lulz based OP
>>
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Rollin
>>
rollin
>>
>>581782065
Do mi'eek the liar (I had NO clue how to spell his name)
>>
>>581782065
This shit is great by the way
>>
how about THE GREAT J'ZARGO
>>
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>>581782663
I think you're popular sempai!
>>
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Rollin'
>>
>>581774840
heh go on...
>>
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Bump
>>
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Sorry brohams, this one was a bit harder

>Be me, Master alterer of assholes at the college of Winterhold
>Chilling in the courtyard one day
>In freezing weather
>Wearing pajamas
>See some asshole talk to the elf bitch on the bridge
>He wants to get in, obviously
>They argue, apparently he doesn't even know magic
>He fucking shouts at her so hard that she flies into the freezing asscrack canyon below
>I'm too high for this shit
>Shouty starts running around and jumping like a retard on an anthill
>Slips and falls off the edge
>Lel, serves him right
>Some furfag catkin starts talking to me about his spells
>Fuck off fag, you're not even a magical race
>Turn back to the bridge
>Shouty is back up, running down the bridge again
>Gets to the gate, pretty badly wounded
>Proceeds to eat 300 cheese wheels
>Fucker looks like he just had an orgy at Jorrvaskr
>Elf bitch comes back and runs up to him
>"That was amazing! You truly are the dragonborn!"
>Dragonborn? Oh fuck
>Gates open for some reason
>Why do we even close them? This may literally be the only time they've been closed in the history of the college
>Shouty comes up to me, wearing the clothes of elf bitch that he just stole
>Starts spinning around for some reason while shooting lightning into the air
>Give him a ward and tell him to fuck off
>That shmuck actually thinks it'll protect him
>>
Keepin it bumped
>>
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>>581780508

> ulfric bin laden

From that point on every line slayed me
>>
>>581782436
roll
>>
>>581784756
>Catkin
Kek'd
>>
>>581782065

Hadvar
>>
>>581782436
rolling
>>
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>>581784756
You've got a talent bro
>>
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>>581785430
SHEEIT, Hadvar was alway my nigga
>>
>>
>>581782436
roallin
>>
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>>
>>581786203

I'd infiltrate Vex.
>>
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>>581785695
>>
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>>581786203
sorry about watermark
>>
>>581782436
roll
>>
>Start doing some basic ward training and protection bullshit
>Talos I don't fucking care about these kids, I just wanna get some of that sweet nirnroot
>Shouty comes up
>Fucker I've been waiting 3 god damn years for you to show up
>He keeps casting the ward for about half a second and getting toasted
>Drop that ward one more time, I fucking dare you
>Eventually he manages to keep his dick from getting roasted like a kebab
>Hell if I know what that is, I've never even heard of a kebab before
>Probably some blackguard asshole food
>Whatever, I need to get out of here
>Decide to take the little shits on an expidition to an abandoned barrow thing
>Maybe some of them will die in a rockslide
>Get stuck with shouty inside the tomb
>Asshole picks up some retarded necklace, doesn't even have any good enchants
>I think I blazed too much nirnroot, next thing I know, I'm standing in front of some kind of giant glowing tumor
>But this isn't your average everyday tumor
>No, this is your magical blue god tumor
>The Eye of Cancer
>Maybe I can conjure up some bitches with this
>Decide to take it back to the college to study
>How the fuck am I gonna get this outta here
>>
>>581782436
Roll
something good pls
>>
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>>581781074
>>
fuck i gotta roll
>>
>>581786842
rollan
>>
>>581786842
fucking RAWWWWWL with frostfall mod!
>>
>>581786754
Nice, but the excessive swearing is, well, a bit excessive. Ruins the funny.
>>
>>581774840
this one is from the thread last night
>>
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>>581787302
>>
>>581786842
Might as well
>>
>>581787387
>>
>>581787387
>>581787302
was that yesterday? Good lord my sense of time is fucked.
>>
>>581787387
lol'd
>>
>>581787574
Wait, nope looks like my sense of time is fucked. It's from Tuesday
>>
>>581787519
>>581781094
>>
>>581782436
roll
>>
>>581780886
thats kharjo not j'zargo
>>
>>581787694
Oh cool, good to know more anons screencapped it
>>
>>581782669
Do you get to the cloud district very often?
>>
>>581782436
Ima roll
>>
>>581774840
Someone screencap pls
>>
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>>581787865
>>
10/10 thread OP
>>
>>581782436
rolley polley
>>
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>>581788219
>>
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>>581788323
>>
>>581787865
Oh, what am I saying, of course you dont.

Speaking of which, does anyone have the Nazeem greentext about trying to talk to the qt Nord PC
>>
>>581788451
>>581788465
I have it somewhere but I don't have it in my skyrim folder.
>>
>>581786842
Rollin
>>
>>581786754
>magical blue god tumor
lost
>>
>>581788294
almost amazing, but a fucking bard
>>
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have this instead
>>
>>581779820
>>581779616
>>581780202
>>581780562

Can anyone explain this Markarth thing? AM I dense?
>>
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>be me, investigating the this corrupt shithole i live in
>following a suspected "forsworn" murderer
>naked asshole with a stupid mask walks into town and kills the guy
>how the fuck did he know?
>i spend the next day sending this asshole to fuck shit up all over town
>half of everyone is dead
>now i'm dead
>fuck
>>
>>581789074
Markarth is literally just a giant shithole of a hold, nothing more to it
>>
>>581789074
Markarth fucking sucks bro it's like going to India, or Detroit.
>>
Farzod bamdad
>>
>dolan
>>
>>581789237

>not realising Markarth is the US
>jews behind the conspiracy (Bretons)
>guard brutality
>essentially run by rich family (America is owned by rich jews)
>Jarl is just a spokesman
>Prison slavery
>Rich get richer and the poor stay poor

C'mon.
>>
>>581786842
nigger roll
>>
>>581789326
?
>>
>>581789713
That could apply to a shitload of places m8
>>
Bump, I want to know how the stories end.
>>
>>581787865
wut u talkin about nigga? I'm the thane, bitch
>>
>>581786842
Bleh
>>
>>581789713

the elves were the jews dumbass, bretons are just britfags
>>
>>581782436
Roll
>>
>>581782468
this
>>
>>581782436
roll + bump
>>
reroll
>>
>>581782436
Rolling and lol'ing
>>
>>581789903

Murica being the most prominent in the real world.

>>581790202

Thalmor are more of a mashup of things. Empire is like the Soviets before the counterattack on the Nazis. Thalmor are just facists straight up, with no proper real world counterpart from what I can tell. I wouldn't say Nazis or North Korea but definately facist.
>>
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>>581789194
But how is it worse than the rest of Skyrim? In what ways
>>
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>>581786468
>>
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>>581790472
Fuck it, reroll
>>
Despite what everyone may think, Tamriel's niggers are actually the argonians? Thoughts?
>>
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>>581790885
That made me laugh way harder than it should have
>>
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>Get the big ball of blue cancer back to the college
>How the fuck do I study this
>Senior elf bitch starts to try and pick fights
>Bitch you wanna go?
>Damn Thalmor coming into my country, taking my jobs
>Shouty walks in, half dead as usual
>And, as usual, proceeds to eat half a raw deer to heal his broken legs
>Starting to warm up to his autistic ways, maybe he's not such a retard

>Few minutes later
>Retardo thalmor bitch starts trying to use the power of the Cancer or something
>Kills the arch-fag in the process
>Whatever, he didn't do much anyway, just sat in his room and creeped on the wizard girls
>Fuckin hell I can't move and shouty is the only one that can stop this
>Keep shouting at him to use the Shaft on the Eye
>Stupid ball keeps summoning ghastlies to fight Shouty
>Shouty ignores me, instead tries to stab the Eye with his legendary piece of shit greatsword
>Keeps getting hit by Retardo's cancer beams
>Starts to strip
>This guy is supposed to save us?
>He crouches and starts to roll directly towards Retardo
>"Where did you go?"
>Shouty is practically headbutting Retardo's dick before he notices
>"Never should have come here!"
>Nigga what
>Time pauses for a second, Retardo caught mid-cancer blast
>Time resumes, shouty is now wearing armor made from the heart of demons
>Apparently even his god weapons can't break through the cancer shield
>Proceeds to shoot his Shaft beam into the Eye
>Eats a couple pieces of horker whenever his hands get too melted to hold the staff
>Cancer eventually explodes
>Retardo is dead
>Shouty, who has only been to this college for about one day in total, is named the new arch-mage

Sorry bros, something came up and I can't write greentext all night. I'll plan on starting a thread tomorrow, but right now I've gotta go. Thanks for being such a great audience!
>>
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>>581777070


>Can't do anything, he's not breaking any laws
>>
>>581791025
tamriels niggers are the khajiit. They're sneaky fucks who get pissed off at everyone else, do a shit ton of drugs, and steal shit
>>
>>581782436
Gayboi
>>
>>581791249
Argonians are also sneaky fucks with a penchant for crime and drugs. They're also used as slaves all around the continent.
>>
>>581790805
All the busineses are going down the shitter, you get killed if you talk abut the Forsworn, the Forsworn actually run the city, they didn├Ęt even build the city themselves. People literally just moved into some Dwemer ruins.

The only worse place is Riften for obvious reasons.
>>
>>581779602
Hogwarts
>>
>>581782436
Ro ro rollin
>>
>>581782436
RAWLS
>>
>>581779104

Fucking lel'd
>>
>>581791249

Falmer are ancient nigs in a way. Getting enslaved by the Dwemer and shit. 'Present day' niggers are probably Khajiit though, I mean most places in Skyrim don't even let the traders in the city walls.
>>
>>581791815

Unless you know the right people, then Riften's a fucking haven. I always liked Riften.
>>
>>581779979

Screencapped/10
>>
>>581791876
Rerolling. I basically already played this exact character.
>>
>>581782436
rawl
>>
>>581779602
college of winterhold
>>
>>581791971
What argonian follower can I get, this playthrough seems like a lot of fun.
>>
>>581781009
>those idiotic giants space program
Holy shitballs
>>
>>581784756
>>Fuck off fag, you're not even a magical race
10/10
>>
>>581791025
Considering Khajits or however the fuck you say it are probably mexicans/spaniards, Argonians are probably niggers.
>>
>>581780508
fucking dragonbone killed my sides may they rest in heavenly fucking sidehalla
>>
>>581782271

Lydia pls
>>
>>581782436
Lol u got fucked.

Redguard Dawnguard with a ranger, then you gotta use necromancy haha
>>
>>581792784
He may return tomorrow.
>>
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>>581786203
>>
>>581782436
roll
>>
I want to try one of these. Who should I write as?
>>
>be me, out with the shield-brothers, killing a giant.
>guy in a bunch of stolen imperial armor shows up
>he shoots one fucking arrow and aela is all over him
>turns out he's one of us now
>i try to be nice because he's probably the only one here dumber than me
>now he's a fucking werewolf too
>now he's my fucking brother's favorite
>now he's the harbinger's favorite
>now he's the fucking harbinger
>now he's fucking aela
>i remember when the companions were cool
>>
I actually have about 30 pages of skyrim smut I've written mostly from Lydia's perspective, but I don't know where or how to upload it to the internet for people to read while protecting my creative property.
>>
>>581793468
>" creative property " on the internet
>serious.webm
>>
>>581792709

Or maybe the nigger race is the nigger race. You ever think of that?
>>
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>>581788256
>>
>>581793723
Nobody plays as niggers, though. We need to compare something we play to niggers
>>
>>581775380
Please.
>>
>>581775380
Your id is "daPUB" holy shit
>>
>>581793723
Redguards don't count since skyrim allows any race to look black now
>>
Imgas are the niggers.


PERIOD.


google imgas.
>>
>>581793723

Nah, they're too skilled to be niggers. Hammerfell qent independent and told the Thalmor to fuck off by themselves, and Hammerfell is independent in 'present day' Skyrim.
>>
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>>581777070
>I can't do anything, no proof
>>
>>581794346

Shit forgot about the Imga. The bitches of the High Elves. Shit.
>>
>>581782436
woo
>>
>>581794564
reroll
>>
>>581782436
Roll.
>>
>>581789074
good breakdown here:
>>581780202
>>
Rollin
>>
>>581791672
mexicans
>literal wetbacks
>>
rollin'
>>
>>581795704

Bosmer are the Mexicans. They fuck off to other provinces to work shittily and talk about nothing but home. Sneaky bastards aswell, and decent thieves.
>>
>>581782436
roll
>>
>>581795962
I like how so many races are similar to ____ nationality because "they make good thieves"
>>
>>581777476
damn shame about her boobs
>>
>>581796096

Well pretty much every real world race can make a good thief. I guess we're picking them at random.
>>
>>581777070
>how many confirmed kills he has
fucking kek
>>
>>581782436
Rooleroni
>>
>>581782436
Been ages since I played Skyrim, lets roll for fun.
>>
>>581774840
3/10

Made me smirk kinda
>>
>>581779338
>>581779412
>god damned furries
lulz
>>
>>581782436
Okay, didn't like that roll at all.. one more roll.
>>
>>581782445
My first roll was 2bad4me
>>
>>581795962
I never thought to see it that way but it makes sense. If we were to avoid the obvious redguard = black people inference, I'd say Orcs are more like niggers than Argonians. People don't generally have a problem with Argonians but very few groups besides bandit groups ever mention an orc as pleasant.
>>
>>581779602
>>581779602
most jarls have a court wizard you can suck dick for spells
>>
>>581774840
>viking ISIS

kek
>>
This whole thread is just one big samefag fest
>>
>>581785695
Keks. Keks everywhere.
>>
>>581786842
Rawlin like Balgruf
>>
>>581779979
Fuckign desktop/10
too lazy to compress filesize
puuDOTsh/d8xZk/7790cf2bb6.png
>>
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Based on a true story.

>new guy shows up in Riverwood
>wearing shitty armour
>decide he needs a friend
>maybe he will help me with a situation
>"hey I'm in love with Camilla Valerius but so is Sven, can you give her this letter and say it was from Sven?"
>he'll totally do it and I'll have a girlfriend and him and I will be bros for life
>he gives her the letter
>FUCK YES
>"hey Faendal gave me this, said to say it was from Sven"
>OH FUCK NO
>I hate him so much
>few weeks later
>reading a book outside because it's such a nice day
>see that faggot again
>fuck him I hate him so much
>decide I'll go smack his stupid face with my book
>I approach him
>I suddenly realise...
>oh fuck he's the dragonborn!
>nervous as fuck because he could easily kill me by just yelling
>"hey uhh... you've been a good friend to me, I wanted you to have this"
>give him the book
>he takes it
>I run away
>never talk to him again
>>
>>581793467
Brilliant
>>
>>581796760

Depends what era of nigger we're talking about. Roman-era niggers, sure, since the Imperials use Orcs in the army like the Romans had African auxilaries.
>>
omfg this thread
>>
>>581782445
>File
Roll
>>
>>581784756
Almost pissed and vomited from laughing
11/10 anon
>>
Posting in an epic thread. This gotta go up the archive
>>
OP already made it to some Facebook fanpage for the Imperials:
facebook com/TheXIXImperialLegion/photos/a.1438212523122618.1073741829.1437517146525489/1504524856491384/?type=1&permPage=1
>>
>>581774840
Somebody cap this please
>>
>>581781094

his toes are gone lmfao
>>
>>581781094
#giantlyfe
>>
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>be successful member of thieves guild
>see a naked lizard man somersaulting around the market square
>convince him to pickpocket a guy's ring for me
>the lizard wizard steals every goddam item in the market except for the ring i asked for. He even managed to take the guys pants without him noticing
>>
>>581782065

Ma'ik the liar as a schizophrenic
>>
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>>581799164
That could be entertaining. But guys, don't forget Cicero
>>
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Part 1

i really enjoyed this
>>
>>581791249
>>581791249
khajiit are clearly gypsies
>>
>>581799862
screen cappie of OP's post
>>
>>581799902

I haven't noticed any Khajiit asking to buy scrap metal off me or fight me for a dog.
>>
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>>581799862
Part 2
>>
>>5818000000
>>
rollin for skyrim roulette
>>
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>>581800000
>>
>>581791025
Skyrim Raical Comparisons
Nords: White people. duh. racist and highly intolerant, they hate everyone because they were there first, even if they conquered it. Strong, hard working, reasonably intelligent, they are the backbone of a functioning society
Khajit: Native Americans. If you think about it, theyre nomadic, have a major drinking problem, gambling issues, high crime rates etc.
Orcs: Asians, believe it or not. They are honorable, meticulously focused, and follow a strict social hierarchy as well. They might have much bigger dicks though.
Imperials: Jews. Money perks, persuasion, social influence. need I say more?
High Elves: Californians. So stuck up they had to have their own land. aesthetically pleasing and a focus on social status leads me to believe they might reflect snobbery of some sort.
Dark Elves: Gypsies. They live outside civilization, focus on magic and spells which parrallels the stereotypical fortune teller. Theyre also sneaky and deceitful
Argonians: not really any defining parrallels, but hey make up a big chunk of the workforce and can swim really well. Maybe mexicans
All i can think of ATM
>>
>>581782436
Roll.
>>
>>581782436
K
>>
This thread reminded me of just how fucking much I loved Skyrim and Oblivion. It's just so ridiculous some of the stuff that happens, some of the stuff you do that when viewed from a NPC's perspective, is just fucking bizarre.
>>
Lol these are great
>>
>>581800486
Rerolling, this concoction doesn't make sense
>>
>>581800421
What about wood elves?
>>
>>581800630
while drinking radioactive toilet water is totally normal in F3
>>
>>581782436
roll
>>
>>581800760
What else is a NPC going to drink when all the NukaCola has been swilled by The One?
>>
>>581782436
>>
>>581782436
stop, drop and
>>
>>581782436
rollan
>>
>>581800998
welp that sucked
>>
>>581800421

Half agree with the Orcs, they're Asian based with honour but that's about it, the rest is more sophisticated tribal stuff. The Tsaesci that are supposedly from Akavir are heavily based on Asians, and when the Tsaesci got in with the Empire after and invasion they founded the Blades hence the armour/weapons looking Japanese/Roman mashup. Dark Elves and Khajiit both have gypsy elements, Dark Elves a tad moreso, but I don't see Khajiit being related to Natives, at least not traditional Natives, they're a little bit Arab (with Redguards being alot moreso) and actually a little bit African because of the terrain they live in (Desert and Jungle). Bretons seem more Jewish in the conspiracy overlord sense, but I see what you mean with the Imperials, though I'd also link them with main Europeans for historical battle prowess and the longest lasting Empire (Don't even need to say where that's from). Argonians are hard to compare, because in other provinces and throughout history, they're treated shit, but back in Black Marsh they managed to fend off the Empire, and recently in Skyrim time they even attacked some of the settlements left in Morrowind, so I guess they can compare to Native Americans in the parts of history where they had the upper hand (Black Hills, for example). The rest is pretty much on point though.
>>
>standing outside my house in rorikstead
>warm day, clear skies, good day for a walk
>start walking and loving life
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>deafening roar
>heart stops
>look up, see dragon
>time to die
>notice some guy with robes on
>shoots lightning at this dragon
>i'm saved thank talos
>some dude in iron armor comes sprinting over a hill
>runs up to the wizard, screams so hard that the wizard goes flying
>dragon free to murder
>screamer looks up, yells at dragon
>dragon lands
>rip friend
>dragon lowers its head
>he gets on
>riding a dragon
>dragon repeatedly takes off and lands over and over
>eventually starts spinning in circles midair
>dragon breaths unholy fire killing a goat
>dragon lands
>dude gets off
>dude walks away
>dragon leaves.
>>
>>581801169
These mostly come from the behavior an stats of the races, just observations in the game. Its easy to say redguards are niggers because theyre black or khajits are gypsies because they have eastern europeans accents. I really do view the khajit as native american. mostly for the skooma problem and but being nomadic could be that or gypsy I guess. The deal sealer for me is how not until recently have Skyrim's citizens recognized the khajit as citizens with their own rights, just as native americans were essentially viewed as another species and denied judicial review, a place in society etc
>>
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>>581801169
>>
>>581801670
The Khajit and Native Americans tribes are both basically treated as savages by the civilized population
>>
>>581782436
rolling as hard as i can
>>
>>581801672
>STEALTH ARCHERS
I'm laughing so hard. Didn't notice until fucking orcs haha
>>
>>581800421
>Dark Elves are the Gypsies
>Not the Khajit

Come on, they live in fucking caravans, steal shit and deal drugs.They also smell, talk with a weird accent and lick their own assholes, they are a perfect match for gypsies.
>>
i have no dick
>>
i still have no dick
>>
>>581802162
Cool. Can we see some pics of that?
>>
I take the Kahjiit to be somewhere between Persians, Arabs, and Turks. Nomadic, traders, smugglers, dealers, passionate about what they do, crafty, generally do what they want,etc.
>>
>>581802446
Kahjiits are just big pussies.
>>
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>>581802412
Here, have this one
>>
>>581801902
they're more nigger gypsies, compared to the actual niggers who are moors. Kajit spend all their time getting high and wandering around stealing and reselling things.
>>
>>581802542
What the actual fuck?
>>
>>581779104
>"I don't claim to be the finest blacksmith in whiterun, Eoland Grey-mane has that honor. Mas steel is legendary."
>What have you got for sale?
>"The finest weapons and armor"
>>
>>581802791
6/10 made me grin.
>>
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>>581788465

Here you go
>>
>>581782436
Ill roll
>>
>>581782445
fuck that I always play that way. reroll
>>
>>581802541
kek
>>
>>581782436
>rolls royce
>>
>>581782436

May aswell rolly polly for my session a bit later
>>
>>581782436
roll
>>
>>581801672
That settles it. My next playthrough will be a high elf stealth archer just to spite this guy.
>>
>>581803632

Sweet.
>>
>>581777070
i lost many times
>>
>>581800421
Lol you really think Californians are snobby? I don't think I'm snobby I actually kinda hate how everyone acts like California the greatest state in th us
>>
>>581804293
you are the exception but correct
>>
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>>581803753
Thread replies: 281
Thread images: 74
Thread DB ID: 23376



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