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Broke up with my boyfriend of two years on Tuesday. I had been thinking about it for two months. I had been falling out of love with him, getting bored, feeling neglected, ...but he never felt that way towards me.
I feel guilty and horrible for hurting him. He's nice and kind. Yet, I feel unsure whether I made the right decision in breaking up with him. Is is normal to feel this uncertainty? We differ on a few ideals, and if we ever got married (as he dreamt) I would hate to 'marry his family'.
> Be me > Shower in the morning > Go work > Get dirty > Well at least I get to shower > Forgot to hang towel > Towel is all wet when I get out > Feel disgusting trying to dry with wet towel I think I might an hero /b/
>>582325338 almost 2 months ive been seriously contemplating it met her on vacation and decided to go for i he distance made shit hard especially when my computer died etc she was spending too much time focused on me and not enough on herself and her friends her grades were getting worse and she was loosing friends and i couldnt let her suicide her social life etc just told her i was going through a bunch of shit i had to go through by myself we still kinda talk bu its really awkward
>>582325178 >>582325524 >be me 9 months ago >starting talking to this girl >beautiful 9/10 >mutual friends, first contact on friends phone >exchange numbers >talk on and off for a few months >ff to august >want to meet her, ask if she wants to go to a movie >says she'd love to >take her out to a movie and eat >awesome night >see her once more before she leaves for boarding school >says she's nervous, always talks to me about it >tell her to feel confident, encourage her >we text daily for a month, see her once when she visits >get really close, feelings more intense >flirt a lot/says she loves me >eventually she stops talking to me a lot >see her/talk to her on and off for two months >loses interest in me >eventually says she's interested in another guy, 10/10 alpha male >fucking decimated i'll never forget that one time she came home, when she ran behind me and gave me the biggest hug anyone has ever given to me. i miss that.
>>582326334 dont really know its only been maybe a week and she wasnt taking it so well though i spent 4 hours on the phone with her realising that i wasnt that important and she could have lost worse
may try again when i have some money and a steady job and could move closer
>>582326607 just say fuck it what do you have to loose? i let it get to me for a while but not latley sure i have shit nights and break down but then all is good again for another coupple months at least seriously what do you have to loose if you want to die other then your life? and if you want to die anyways whats to be afraid of
seriously man if you want to type everything out il read it and do my best to help in some way though it probably wont be much
my birthday is tuesday, december second, today my girlfriend of 7 months broke up with me, i fell in love with her, she wont tell me why, i dont know what to do, also im just a worthless fuck up who has no reason to continue living. So, why delay the inevitable, am i right?
>>582327128 I've been saying "fuck it" my whole life. And it's helped me get by, but you can't keep doing it forever. Eventually you realize that you can't handle being sad and depressed and empty inside forever.
>>582327379 find a hobby and put everything you have into it for me its fishing and more recently cooking it will give you something to be happy about and look twords and texas brownies are really fucking good >>582327163 happy early birthday man my past 3 have been kinda shit 16th bday i spent in the hospital 17th i slept most of the day no one acknowledged it and 18th same as 17th guess everyone forgot
>>582329190 work accedent 3 days before my 16th bday working carpentry with my old man nailgun fell off the roof and knocked me flat on my ass stood up and immediatley passed out from lack of blood and fell flat on my face and almost broke my nose woke up with him driving me to the hospital passed out again and woke up in the bed with staples being put into my skull he spent my 16th bday with me but not my 17th or 18th >>582329213 just keep trucking man shit will work out in one way or another
>>582328892 You're young. As shitty as life may feel right now, for you and for all of us, it'll get better with time. Find a hobby, or try talking to people. Not necessarily girls, or for the purposes of dating. Just talking.
>>582330260 they may be fucked up but they will always be superheros to me my dad is an alcoholic and smokes pot and hasnt talked to me in 2 and a half years and he's a fucking shit person but he will always be my old man
>be me 9 years ago, 13 year old >family is poor af, live with dad in apartment for the summer, mom during school year >dad is tight with landlord and landlords family, they always do shit together >get a crush on landlords granddaughter >we both like each other and it is obvious >tell her my feelings about her, she feels the same, start going out >we get really close and then august came and i had to go back to mom's >we always call each other with shitty home phones >ff to may >she stops calling me, idk why, i start feeling really anxious >school ends, go to dad's aprtment for summer >2nd day i am there i ask landlord what happened to his granddaughter >he pauses, starts crying, keeps crying for a few mins >he tells me she how she got kidnapped and they found her 2 weeks prior to me getting back in the woods 60 miles north >to this day, 8 years later, i will always miss her. she and i would have done so much together, and someone took her and ruined landlord's family >whole rest of the summer i am sad and dont do anything >havent felt any emotion for any other girl since
My dad was a schizophrenic bipolar morphine addict but he did a good job of hiding it throughout most of my childhood, but sometime after I turned 16 or 17 it's like he just said fuck it and let it destroy him.
I just sit here sometimes thinking about how when I was little I looked up to him like he was a god and that crushing disappointment the first time I realized the truth.
It's hard to describe, I knew he had problems but to watch the healthy man I loved as much as any son can love a father, waste away to nothing and not even give a fuck as he's laying there dying... well, it's hard to forget and the memories seem to invade whenever the fuck they feel like it
>>582330062 i have a speech impediment, and half the time i try to talk to anyone i end up sounding like a massive retard, and i never really connect to anyone at school. and the friends i do have are there and talk to me, but when it comes to one of these nights, or just being alone, there's no reason to act happy. there's been so much i've been through in the past year, and i'm drowning.
I'm hopelessly in love with my best friend, and I know she doesn't want me but I cant quite accept it. I still spend every day hanging out with her or texting her. I dont even know what to do, cause I know as soon as I try and end the friendship I'll miss her, but if I don't i'll sit there hating my life for years as she goes through boyfriends and talks to me about how much of assholes they are. She tells me all she wants in a guy is someone sane and not retarded, knowing that I like her more than i could describe. I think she purposely likes watching me die slowly on the inside but I'm not sure. Maybe I'll forget about her when I leave this city.
>>582332270 yeah my dad went through alot of shit with an ex wife and my half sister both psyco's havt spoke to my sister in 9 years he always tried to hide it around me but he drank too much etc when i got older i kinda got pulled into it had to testify in court etc i guess my dad just gave up a coupple years ago because he just stopped talking to me stopped visiting etc i miss him and i worry about him ive even tried to call him but nothing
>>582332436 man trust me shit will get hard but it will also get better you will find friends and they will probably come and go but you hopefully have family to turn too ive always been a bit socially retarded so i dont connect to alot of people but fuck it seriously i havent been to a friends house in almost 4 years who needs them you control your life not your friends or some girl you do and you can make it great it will take some effort but in the end its worth it
>>582332436 i feel bad for you dude. just try your very best to be confident and fuck anyone who ever tries to put you down. fuck them all johnny. I'm sad about a girl, a very special girl... now i'm tired, oh so tired. and drinking. always drinking..
>>582331645 >I texted my ex gf today that I miss her. Trying to get someone back is a massive waste of time. The sooner you realize that she's no longer the same person you cared about the better. You're chasing after a ghost.
I befriend a girl, my mind tries to examine so much and find potential in her, any little bit and I fall for her so easily, then if nothing happens to make out friendship go further I just give up and move to the next girl. It's always this and it just repeats. Do I have a problem? Is it just me? I sometimes think to myself I'm better off alone with my sorrow and knowing that love just isn't for me...the tears are coming again.
>>582334193 seriously dont stress it i know it sounds so stupid to say something like that but just dont let it get to you ignore the little shit and savor in the little victories you have family and family is so fucking important take it from someone who lost his dad
seriuously feel like shit? go hug mom or dad im 18 and still hug mom when i feel shit cant do it with dad but shit always makes you feel better
oh yeah and my mom had to have brain surgery sometime after my dad died.
She's never been the same, I'm pretty sure the doctor nipped something he shouldn't have. She used to be well spoken but ever since then she's stumbled over basic words and can't concentrate on anything. Also became very forgetful. This might sound fucked up but it's like she's legitimately retarded now.
She would have died without the surgery but I feel like I lost her anyway and now she's just a shadow
>>582335634 you dont need to say much just say you need a hug i dont talk with much of anyone il tell my mom i need a hug and hug her even if shes pissed and il probably cry like a little bitch then il go sleep and the next day you tend to feel alot better
A friend/co-worker told me a story about how she almost got raped last night at a party. No one jumped in to help her except her femal friend. She was sober. She's a pretty and chill girl, yet she hangs around guys like that...I don't get it. I hate people.
>>582336529 It doesn't have to initially hit off like in the movies. I think that deep love requires time to grow. You get over the little things you may not like about the person, and find greater, better things you LOVE about him or her in time.
> be me > be me at 15 > have 2 friends that actually somewhat care for me > life is confusing, mom and dad werent divorced but had to live in different states due to them both having amazing jobs thats they couldn't leave > get made fun of all my life > overweight got the nickname tubby > mom was never home until like 10 or 11 > never was able to talk about my problems > finally the inevitable day came > "anon we need to talk" > "your dad and I... we got a divorce" > start bawling and just cant do anything for a week > fast forward another week or so > dog diagnosed with heart tumor and has to be put down > the image of me walking out of a room in tears with my dog staring at me while the door closes is stuck in my head > grades drop > become the most unpleasant person > lose 1 of my 2 friends > lost my dog which was the best part of my life > lose my dad because i see him once every 2 or 3 years > almost killed myself > note ready > im still not sure how to recover
> sorry if this is poorly written, this has made me tear up quite a bit
I choose to be alone and appreciate the pain that it leaves at the bottom of my chest. It helps me avoid additional frustration and excessive spending but at the same time I have no one to vent to or bounce ideas off of when things are difficult or changing. I like relying on myself to the extent that I only have 2 suitcases of clothes, my guns and my t.v. because I don't need much else and like moving around alot. No responsibility other than a phone bill and insurance and whatever rent is that month. You just have to learn how to love yourself and your life. Live for your happiness no matter what. It is doable and it doesnt have to be permanent.
Tl; dr > make yourself happy by loving what you want and disregard any who try to stop you. Unless your a rapist in which case fuck you
>>582336574 I spread her nudes everywhere to everyone in her small country/town we met on omegle when we were 13 talked everyday until i was 17 and could afford to go there i'd explain why she broke up with me, but it basically boils down to i wasn't good enough for her. the only thing i feel bad about is spreading her nudes everywhere. she didn't deserve that... now i'm going on 19 and lost, even though i used to be so sure of myself and what i wanted pic related
>>582332436 Jesus christ man I know your feel. I can never pay attention. I know my parents love me but the disappointment in my grades and life is bad.
I have my friends but none of them know how much I hate everything about myself and my awful school performance. I can't open up to people and I'm too scared to talk to new people. I'm scared to apply to colleges with my sub 3 gpa and I have no idea what I want to do with my future either. Shits getting to me man.
I have a huge problem with anxiety. >Always feel like people are talking about me >Feel like people are taking pictures of me >Scared to go out of the house without makeup on >Have 1 friend that doesn't go to my school I just feel like a fuck up, /b/. I'm so scared of people and their opinions that now I cant even get good grades. I feel like crap all the time now. Obviously my feels story isnt great, but right now its really troubling.
I've always resented posting in these feels/baww threads. But now, it has finally daunted on me. I will always be forever alone. Yet, I'm content with it But I'm not happy, nor am I sad. I don't know what I should feel.
>>582336851 I understand that it would take time. Believe me, I try and try to keep myself from hopping from one girl to the next, I want to have feelings for someone long enough to have something happen between us, it's something I still need to work on. But, as you said I just have to be patient.
>>582337065 Get on some ADD meds. Also perhaps get checked out for thyroid disease and depression.
I got diagnosed with ADD my sophomore year of high school as well as thyroid disease, which messes with your metabolism and hormones -> hormones can affect moods- > also get diagnosed with clinical depression. My grades improved a ton after I started taking the meds (didn't for a while, didn't want to accept that I had a learning disability) And getting treated for thyroid disease made me feel better (after 2.5 years on meds, I'm more or less fine). And after 3 years on anti-depressants, I've somehow learned to cope with depression better.
>>582337050 that sucks man. don't let it get the best of you though. improve yourself everyday.
>>582336958 you've been through a lot, it takes time to recover, especially since all of this happened at a young age. get better, wake up stronger everyday, become someone you want to become, it takes time but it's always possible.
>>582337308 i know ive been all " it gets better" in this thread and it probably sounds like im spouting a bunch of shit but i struggled with severe anxiety for many many years dozens of medications half a dozen different theripists missed school all the time ended up in the hospital once even
and while i may not know what to tell you to help fix it but do know that it can and will probably get better so keep some hope sure i still cant into normal social interactions and cant speak publically but im not nearly as bad as i used to be
i think i know what you mean anon, i get that feeling too more and more often.
i've only told /b about my recent suicidal urges, no one else in my life knows about it. They think I am some determined kid whos gonna make his dreams come true, their not wrong they just dont know what lies underneath.
>>582338072 I was in the hospital sophomore year. I had a meltdown after some girl tried to beat the holy living shit out of me because I reported her (or tried to). Later that night her and her dumbfuck possee texted me to kill myself and I binged on sleeping pills. I'll never fall that low ever again, but its hard sometimes. Night like tonight make me remember how fucking awful people are.
>tfw Post-Concussion Syndrome still hasn't worn off after 3 years, and I have Early Onset Dementia, terrible mood swings, and almost no energy because of it. Being 19 and feeling like I'm 40 but with almost complete short term and some long term memory loss is fucking shitty man. I still have flashbacks and nightmares of it happening. I breakdown whenever I see someone get a concussion, even a mild one, when I'm watching any kind of sport.
>>582338519 You in high school or college? I know it's easy to feel that way when you're in high school, possibly surrounded by kids who achieve lots of shit and stuff. I don't know what to tell you, but try not to give up too much hope. :( I know that feel though, bro. Sorry about your parents feeling that way. I'm pretty dependent on my meds, sadly(?). I don't even like socializing without them.
>Be me >July, we get some new associates at work >One of these associates is a girl, we'll call her Beth >First time I met her, I spaghetti'd everywhere >Continue to talk and gain some friendship >Iwantyou.jpg >turns out she has a boyfriend, feelsbad.tiff >around august or so, she breaks up with her bf >go to my bros house, he invites her too >3 of us drinking and shit >we get drunk as fuck, confess that we both like each other >end up asking her out with lots of spaghetti >perfect relationship for a couple of months >lost my virginity to her >then it changed one day
>>582338802 luckily the hospital visit was a turning point i was freshman in highschool and had tried every mecication out there when i was in the hospital decided fuck it quit taking medications the second i got out quit going to therapists i guess i just kind of " manned up" but its worked im alot better im here to listen and talk to if you want anon
Throughout my childhood, I always find a way to make myself happy. Kids make fun of me for being to happy all the time. But sadly, I always find myself alone and no one to play with. That's why I started to play video games. To get out of reality to feel like I'm not completely alone and characters that make me feel like Im not worthless. I'm 18 now. I did had friends to talk to but they ended up not talking and acting like a jerk to me after moving out if town. I ended up adopting a kitten from the shelter. I named her tiger lily. She never left my side and always sleeping next to me like I'm worth something to her. She's the only true friend I have....
I started to tear up writing this, sorry if I got the words jumbled up
>>582338961 Yeah senior year, it's been way better than any other. My grades are still mediocre though, still best out of all 4 years so far. I have a sub 3 gpa and feel stuck. All my friends get straight A's and I feel like I don't fit in.
>>582339308 because life is reality better than being a deer that gets eaten alive by wolves no? better than being a bird that gets shot randomly no? better than being a caveman who freezes to death because whoops your cave collapsed on your family no? it ain't so bad
>Be me >Be 20 >Be at a State University >Best friend starts dating super hot chick, solid 9/10 >super hot chick has some 7/10 and 8/10 friends, one sticks out to me in particular I don't know why I liked her so much but we'll call her J >Be at best friends house on a weekend, J is there >Me and J hit it off really well, I find out she's single >Talk all night, we both get really drunk, we ended up kissing a little bit, just pecks not making out >Couple months go by and we always talk a lot but don't kiss again >I don't think it's going anywhere so I start talking to more chicks at parties, make out with a few even while J is there >Feel regrets after making out with girls while J is there but never talk to her about it >1 year passes, me and J are still good friends, still talk a lot, I can't stop thinking about her >End up going to buddies house for a party >J arrives, comes up to me and wants to play beer pong >Me and J play beer pong all night, and I've decided that I really like J and I am going to tell her that I like her more than a friend tonight >About ready to pull her aside and tell her when alpha joins party >Alpha pulls J away from me, she hangs on him the rest of the night >Alpha and J end up making out, I'm sad >This just happened last weekend I really like J but I don't think I'm ever going to be with her, I'm average and she's gorgeous.
>>582339213 Fuck greentext, I'm finishing this with an actual story
So, we had this perfect relationship, we were perfect for each other, we had so much in common, she bought a fucking SNES for me, we fucked to Super Mario, like fucking damnit. I was happy for once in a long time, it was the thing I needed to change my life and make a positive impact.
So one day, I'm talking to her before we both start a shift at work, it was all going great. Then when work started, she seemed different... odd...
She told me the one thing that still kills me to hear it.. "Have you ever just looked at someone, and kind of, felt nothing for them? I think it's just my anxiety.."
So I went to her house that night, and it ended up her breaking up with me for some shitty reason, and me puking from the shock. I tried to fix things, I assured her that I would be there every step, to try and help her with her problems, to make her feel better and be confident.
But how do you fix these problems, when you are the problem?
Looking back, she was an asshole to me, and I really got nothing out of the relationship. My college grades started to fail, and I eventually told her to fuck off and get out of my life.
She's paranoid and as broken as I am. She's back with her ex to spite me, and we both play mind games to fuck with each other. I don't ever want to be with her again, but I feel so fucking empty without anyone. I don't want her, but I need a GF. And every single woman I want has a fucking boyfriend.
And now I'm plagued when I have to see her face almost every day and pretend the last few months never existed.
>>582339451 Wow you are a good person. I don't know, a lot has been fucked up lately. I just break down a lot from stress. Even little things fuck me up. I'm just paranoid that people hate me. Some people ACTUALLY DO take picture of me, and a couple have made their way to threads on here. Its just hard at my school, and the only reason they do it is because I'm a little bit of a knowitall and a crybaby. Thanks for caring, anon.
>>582339476 man my cats have always been my best friends i dont have any anymore so ive felt like shit latley >>582340789 if you want i could throw out my junk email just so you have someone to talk to who has been through something similar to what you are going through and just to have someone to listen let me know
Since I fear this thread dying, or me falling asleep soon, I'll ask this: Does anyone live in or around Indianapolis? It'd be cool to hang out and talk... Get coffee, eat pizza, I dunno. Just having company would be nice.
>>582341242 All will be well anon. Just give it time. Perhaps meeting with other women perhaps on better terms other than parties? Be it anybody that is there for you, take a chance with them. Who knows what will happen.
I'm in college, and honestly there are no females here my age. Just autists and niggers and women in their 30s.
But I even feel shit at work. I always try to look good (I'm not a bad looking person, I think anyways), I always try to hit on the girls that come in, but idk, I still have a lot of social spaghettini from when I was an autist in high school. I'm only getting in the loop now.
Just came in. this thread is tl;dr, but I wanted you all to know that regardless of how bad things seem, no matter how shit your life may be, it is never a good choice to give up. If you end your life, then that's that. Your life will have been nothing but shit. But if you decide to tough it out and keep going, then at the very least there is a chance of it becoming better. The more you try to keep optimistic, and keep trying to make a change, the better those chances are as well.
>>582343275 Oh okay. Perhaps it's because I'm an awkward fuck, but I actually dislike it to some extent when guys act like that towards me (although since I'm a senior now people have learned better). I wish they'd speak to me like they're a regular person, not some frat douche.
>>582343257 cedar lake >why am i driving him around he's getting old and his memory is getting bad just had a shunt put in his head to hopefully help with his memory he cant walk well and really shouldnt be driving i would have to drive the whole way because he cant fly its a 14 hour drive but with all the stops we have to make it would be 3-5 days of driving i flat out dont have the money to do it but i dont know if he's going to live another year or another 5
he brought up going back to where he grew up to me and really wants to bring me show me around etc i need to visit him more often
>>582339476 >>582341059 there is more to that story since this is a feels thread. I had this written down not so long ago:
me >be 17 >keep thinking the world revolves around me because i finally got laid at 16 around the summer >join band >always getting hyped up with a good marching energy >gf broke up with me but continued being fuck buddies but never talk to each other again >tries to keep spirits up with myself >joined track in mid semester >mother started to get annoyed by neighbors parking >kicked out of track because of absents due to chronic pains with the shins >continued with band but got rejected signing up for drum major no matter how much the instructor wanted me to be >get constantly mocked by random students after school for jogging home >depression starts kicking in but tries to ignore it >mother started to get agitated by neighbors parking starts throwing insults at their kids >summer arrives >had the great opportunity to recover my past failing grades >third week of june came along >mom's anger starts to get worse >claims im not on her side when i dont wanna be part of it >day 3 arrives and she finally starts an argument with them >claims that she's gonna get battered >had no choice but to get out there and try to calm things down >didnt help at all and constantly tells her to calm the hell down > neighbors started to watch while niggers pull out their phones and record >start to get high axeity over the crowed building up >say words that make me look stupid while pulling my mom back in the house >argument over >begins to curse at my mother for her behavior >she calms and promise this will never happen again and won't move again >still depressed over the argument and get paranoid that the video recording getting upload online >stayed in the house through out the entire summer skipping credit recovery >turned 18
>>582339501 It's just like, fuck dude. Nobody in my fucking FAMILY believed me for the first year I had it, even though I told them time and time again that this is a problem, and then on the aspect of getting the most out of life, we're kinda fucked in that category too since we're just very... Numb. To many things and can't really react appropriately to most things like those without it. It's good to find someone who's in the same boat in this thread. It makes me feel less alone.
>>582344246 >senior year >everything seems normal >receives shitty classes but thankfully still in band but my trumpet skills is still low >half of my friends starting to get shitty around me and no longer talking to me >mother once again becoming more angry at the neighbors >tells me im not on her side once again until she pressures me to agree on moving to a boring shitty county > few months past and starting to get use to new place >start high school again >finds out from the office that i still need credit recover to graduate >goes to another building for the recover but they also tell me that if i do credit recover, im going to graduate the next following year >chose to do GED instead of credit recovery but its not like a high school anymore >mom promises not to tell anyone about it >dad finds out about it from mom and barely calls me anymore so i assume its a big disgrace to him >all my friends stopped messaging on facebook >feels depressed once again but not worse than before >mom is feeling angry about the neighbor's small kids playing around...........
well this is a giant fucking roller coaster to hell.....
>>582344220 see>>582339451 i just manned up i was sick of being sad and anxious and depressed so fuck it quit the meds they only made me worse quit therapy it made me feel alienated and just made shit work for myself i got a call from my grandpa when i was in the hospital and he didnt really know what was going on with me but he just told me he hoped i was okay and would feel better soon
>be me, recently connected with this guy i knew >he is seriously my best/closest friend right now >he's gay >I'm straight >care deeply for friend because he is literally a mess inside, but is close to turning his life around >encourage him a lot, he says this is the first time someone has cared this much about him >start to develop attraction because we goof around so much we basically flirt
Am i a shitty person /b/? Ive never really been huge on "labels" so i'm not ashamed to say there's mutual attraction, but I know i wouldn't be able to give him what he needs in the relationship department. I'll always be there for him, but would it be selfish for me thinking we could mess around with no one getting hurt?
>>582330153 >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wK7GSARUs_Q Oh god, I'm crying my eyes out here.
>be 15 y/o >friend from middle school goes through a crosswalk >gets hit by a car running a red light, he is flown to hospital >friend at school tells me he is in a coma >le me thinking "oh, he'll get better in no time!" because it happens in the movies >visit him in the hospital, see his bruised and swollen body on life support, machines facilitating his breathing >some religious lady and a nurse tell me to talk to him, as he could possibly hear me >know in my heart he can't. Start talking to him about this upcoming anime convention we went to together two years back, crying and choking back tears. >week later he is pronounced brain dead.
I learned that day that no matter how old you are, or how careful you are in crossing the street, you can die. I just never thought about it at the time. We were invincible 15 year olds. Death seemed so far away. Yet it never is.
Alright /b/. I'm sure many of you have experienced something similar.
>be me, 17 >close to no friends in highschool >meet cutie in gym, we somehow become instant friends >we'll call her A >realize we both love dbz, Pokemon, nerdy shit ect. >soon enough we're best friends >we know everything about each other >find out we both had a rough time growing up >at this point I would do anything for her >realize I care about A more than I do myself >get feelings man, but she doesn't feel the same >get over it, I'm happy to be friends >fast forward to this September >I'm now 19, graduated and in college >out of beta stage >in a sex only relationship with an ex, call her S >have large group of friends, but A is not in it >me and A start to drift apart, barely see each other >she never really made any friends besides me >all of a sudden Arab sand nigger comes out of nowhere >instantly hate him >A falls for him >not even a relationship, he just fucks her >he treats her like shit >her schizophrenia comes back >she cries a lot, needs me more than ever >can't convince her to leave him >finally give up, I can't take it anymore >fast forward to this month >A is always sad >one day she tells me she's 2 weeks late on her period >sand nigger boyfriend says he won't father her baby >some bullshit about his mudslime parents killing both of them to preserve bloodline or some shit >comes out negative >he still fucks her >cries to me over the whole situation >ignore her, too busy with S >I cut all ties, I had enough >it's been a few days since I've said anything to her
>>582321174 >My life is a movie. >The amount of bad luck I have is uncanny. >To the point I laugh my ass off when something happens. >My childhood sweetheart >The one I'd wanted forever >Died >After I finally was able to muster the courage to ask her to be mine. >She was >For 2 months >Did nothing but laugh with God the night I found out. >It's not the first time something like this has happened.
>>582345461 Friend of 16 years died last month, wish he was here man. We would've had thanksgiving together with some other friends, we'd have a great time like every year. We'd play the new expansion for WoW cause that was our shit mean we played since we were in school since it came out, we were proud to play the game and i remember he was hella hyping the game, we were so ready. Why'd he have to go man? why? I remember he was saying when he gets home we were gonna spend so much time together we were gonna chill have a couple drinks and play video games like we always did but fuck he didn't come back and none of that happened. Fuck that just fuck that
Why did he have to die? man? Why him out of all people that could. He was all that i really had left. Now he's gone.
>>582346627 but i could do so much more i should spend more time with him i should go cook for him more so he doesnt have to eat frozen food and other shit i need to get over there more often in the winter to clear snow even though he rarely goes outside i need to get him a new hat i could do so much more for him >>582346913 im so sorry ive never had to go through that though ive never really kept a friend for very long other then my pets
There's a story I saved a long time ago and lost. It had something to do with a guy on this street corner with this dog, and eventually you realize that this guy killed the dog's owner while drinking and driving, and that dog keeps returning to that spot. It was a long post, and I think it had a snowflake as the first image. Anyone have that or recognize it? Might not have the details exactly right.
>>582346628 I've lived a perfect life so far and I'm unhappy as fuck. Born into an upper class family, pilot's licence before graduating high school, lost v-card at 14, accepted to a top 10 stem university for engineering physics, and yet I still can't fucking be happy. I feel like I'm a different species.
>>582347653 I know that feel. Born to millionaires. Parents loved the shit out of me. Like really loved me, not that fake buy me whatever i want shit. Dad taught me to be a man, mom is awesome. Brother is awesome. Im smarter than I should be. never tried at school. In a top notch med school now, still not trying hard, top 10% of my class. Bench 225, more strong and ripped than i have ever been. Im not fucking happy.... I never have been.... people would kill to be me or have what I have..... Im so grateful for everything... but fuck man.... im not happy and im afraid i never will be...
>>582347653 I know that feel to an extent. Upper-middle class, good family, awesome dogs, doesn't have to pay for college tuition. I have a campus job and all, and have a few friends, but life just feel so fulfilled right now. Also broke up with my bf of two years last week. see this : >>582323936
>>582348625 I just have no interest in other people's lives. I don't like to go to parties, become inebriated or get high. I just like working with my equations and flying. My profs think I'm dedicated and stoic but I don't have the heart to tell them that this is all there is to me. I'm a fucking robot.
why did i decide to come here tonight was feeling fine it was a good night even i never come to baww threads anymore havent in months though for some reason i decided to come here and i run into all of you wonderfull fucks each and every one of you is special and great
Essay ahead. Too long for greentext. Apologies in advnce.
I don't think I have it very good. I haven't seen my family in 18 months. I'm 300 miles away from them, earning shit-all a month inputting data. I barely cover rent, food and utilities. I can't afford to see them. The rare moments we do talk it's over facebook because my parents haven't worked Skype out and my siblings are just "too busy" to spend half an hour letting me remember their faces in movement. The lines, the quirks of their smiles.
My partner and I live together. That is it. We are more lodgers than lovers. We have spent so much time together yet we have drifted apart. He stays home all day playing video games. I come home, the house is filthy, the cat hasn't been fed and I die a little inside. I resign to my corner of the sofa and we sit in silence. For hours at a time, until someone falls asleep. I don't leave because perhaps I am too comfortable in this. After so many years I don't remember anything different.
I'm all alone here. I'm hopeless at socialising. I try but it backfires one way or another. The friends I once had have grown up. Settled down, married, had children. I'm in a dead-end job, a loveless relationship and desperately alone. I've tried taking my own life but cowardice stands in the way. I'm scared of what may come after. What if I fail and become a crippled burden? What of the shame and dismay my family will feel? So in the end I just sit. Sit, think, then cry. What the fuck do I do?
Ran into my ex at a party last week. After 2 years there is no bad blood, but I never want to get with her again. So we talk and are chilling, I am being life of the party and paying her not too much mind. I engage her when she asks about my life but I dont linger around her.
When she is talking to me she slips in things about our past relationship; quirks, minor events, things I said.
Why is she bringing up this stuff when I make no interest in talking about the past?
Well, last night I had a vivid fucking dream about being with her which began with her blowing me.
I dont want to think about her anymore. But fucking hell.
>>582330260 i recently learned a few things about my parents that ultimately made sense as to why i never really felt any connection to them and why i never felt as if we are an actual family and not a collection of depressed people.
my mother is clinically depressed. her alcoholic father left her and her family at the age of 7. he spent 4 years in a nazi prison work camp at the age of 7. her mother died in her arms after a lengthy battle with stomach cancer. she left her entire family shortly after for a man she hardly knew through a mail order bribe thing. she comes home from work everyday and plays solitaire for hours on end before going to sleep.
my dad struggled with depression for about half of his life from the age of 13 when his mom died from an asthma attack. he smoked 25 years from the age of 13. he was blamed for a mistake he didnt do when shit hit the fan while working for a law firm. he lost his career, self esteem, and confidence. he is just now getting back into the career he is specialized in. he just watches netlix by himself every night.
they met through a mail order bribe system because they wanted to start a family and it was getting a bit late for them to do so so they took a shortcut. they look to me for absolutely all their happiness and i can't even do that for myself. i got kicked out of school. they found out i do drugs. i shoplifted. we never spend time together. i drown myself in video games and music. tl;dr how am i supposed to bring my parents the only happiness they have left when i cant even bring myself it. i hope someone can see how this is a burden
the very fact that this eats at you destroys that theory.
don't go i with the intent to learn someones life story, just get to know people, their personalities/principles
every now and then you find a person you manage to connect with, all you need is one.
i dont like to get high/drunk either anon, and that stops me from hanging out with many people at my college, ive befriended around 130+, out of those i can think of around 4 people that id like to get to know
I feel as though I don't belong in this society I never have I don't fit in with kids my age, I don't go out that often, I don't have many friends that I see anymore I was always made fun of by kids at school my "friends" or my family, I feel like a black sheep in this world. All the women I have been with cheated on me, I've failed out of two colleges, all I do is sit at home play vidya and go to work No one ever asks how I'm doing or how I'm doing, people don't notice me that much I feel ignored by a lot of people and ive thought of either offing myself or taking a vow of silence so I won't bother anyone again I want to die /b/ but I want to know what it feels like to be alive and happy for once
>>582350297 Its weird, there are times when I'm proud of what im learning, and other times when i wish i was anywhere but here. It isn't stress related, but theres something that really makes me depressed. I guess I just have to hope that doesn't stick around. Overall, i would probably recommend it since I know I can at least help other people, if not myself.
>be me >girl starts showing obvious signs of interest me >start out with just the intentions of giving her the D >we really hit it off >after a week of hanging out I start to feel something >haven't felt anything in a long time >this is nice >she starts acting weird >she blanks me for a few days and then out of the blue kisses me when I see her again >she completely stops responding to my texts >out at a party on Saturday >she's all over one of my bestfriends >feelsbad.jpg >drink alot >pass out >wake up and feel shitty this morning I know I shouldn't be that attached after so little time, but it was just so long since I felt happy and rejection sucks. I'm still glad I tried, apposed to my usual bullshit of not playing so I can't lose
>>582350340 I've tried all sorts but there just isn't any motivation on his part. For our anniversary I took him to the arcade we went to on our first date, played games, had pizza, things I know he loves. Didn't even get a hug. It hurt.
>>582351095 then fuck him if theres one thing my father taught me its to stay away from one way streets people who take and never give anything in return seriously fuck that id say get out and move on with YOUR life with what YOU like and what YOU want to do
unless you end up loving being a doctor i cant promise that it'll go away but you can cope with it. get more involved in your music hobby, i mean not to the point where you drop of of med school but just get to enjoy that world some more.
>>582351545 fuck he left the thread. i wanted someone to be there and help me. i should just use the knife thats next to me to find someone. thanks for everything /b/, i love you. see you in the big basement in the sky.
>>582351793 I haven't had a relationship in so long, its kinda sad. probably not since undergrad. But relationships here are unbelievably hard. no one has time or wants to make any. im really hoping when im in clinic there will be time
>>582351516 If I had balls, I'm sure it would have felt like being kicked in them. >>582351713 In comes the cliche "it's not that simple" I've tried it before but he's always managed to win me back somehow. You know, "I'll change! I'll get a job, help around the house, have emotions!"yada yada. Never happens though. He's never even had a job and we're in a mid-twenties. I've walked so far down that one way street that somehow I've forgotten how to turn back.
>>582352479 >>582352578 nah, whats the point of it. my life is a lie. i have a sleeping disorder that makes me feel things when i'm asleep. i want to have real love. not fake love. see you in the giant skybasement
>>582350116 People like you are going to shape the next generation. Think of it that way. The next generation is going to understand feels because of people like us. So just think, what's pain for you will be less for those who you influence. You can be the future anon. I hope you feel better soon.
>>582353107 I have constant fear that I'll die alone. I constantly lose sleep thinking about how alone I am and why no women want me. Everyone woman I talk to isn't interested in me, but I want to find it somewhere. Fight man. Just fight.
Whats here isn't fake. That's why we're all here. Talk to us anon.
in that case anon, try to find a girl that's into music (maybe at a concert).
>maybe it gets better when i start working at a clinic
Dont rely on things to be resolved later on, if you see a problem you don't want to let it fester, time comes on its own but progress does not, waiting things out wont help but its going to have the opposite effect.
do stuff you love, try to enjoy yourself while also handling business
dont take this life thing too seriously, (and from what you told me i dont have to worry about you treating it like a joke either), find a good balance and enjoy yourself.
Be more observant of your environment, sometimes look up at the sky at night and enjoy its beauty, be kind to people and observe nature every now and then.
the first start to receiving genuine human contact is by giving it
>>582353463 But I don't want anymore pain... I've dealt with enough I just don't want to wake up anymore hurting and wishing I could die I want to feel I matter to someone I want to feel like it's okay to be here and I'm okay is that so much to ask for?
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