Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network issues. Refreshing the page usually helps. The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact. You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random
>>582688549 hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!! DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ hehe…toodles!!!!!
>>582689329 >u are 1 fucking cheeky kunt mate i swear i am going 2 wreck u i swear on my mums life and i no u are scared lil bitch gettin your mates to send me messages saying dont meet up coz u r sum big bastard with muscles lol fuckin sad mate really sad jus shows what a scared lil gay boy u are and whats all this crap ur mates sendin me about sum bodybuildin website that 1 of your faverite places to look at men u lil fuckin gay boy fone me if u got da balls cheeky prick see if u can step up lil queer.
>>582688437 So, my day has been uneventful so far. only 1330hrs right now. so far i have had to repair my internet, continue iwht my language course, browse /b/ and drink my coffee all from work because ive resigned last week and am just complete my notice period
>>582689727 Uhh woke up, waited to play heart of the swarm for the first time but blizzard had maintenance so I got a haircut, and then came back to my house to play then talk to gf and now I'm about to go to the gym
>>582688437 >>582689636 Least favourite thing? Life in general. I hate it because I have a shitty job, stuck in a relationship for almost a year and im too beta to leave her, i've left school so im undereducated, I've lost all my friends, nothing really makes me happy i cant feel anything else just sadness and anger. maybe the only thing i hate is MY life.
>>582689805 My most favorite thing is... probably going out clubbing. I never had any friends before college so I never got invited to crazy parties, or to any parties at all actually. I like going out with friends, specially to clubs with very loud music because we don't talk, we just drunkly dance to the beat. I think I am ugly so I rarely approach girls and it is even more rare for a girl to actually show interest in me but when I am drunk I don't care if they reject me.
>>582690579 >What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little shit? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Im the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youre fucking dead, kiddo. there it is
>>582689665 Gonna take that as a roll. My favorite thing? Watchmen (not a physical thing, but anyway) It's the realistic version of a super hero and how would everything work in a world with super heroes. Deaths, broken bones, a man that turned into a god and forgot about how is it to be human, destruction as a form of salvation to the world, psychopaths who see the rotness of the world and try to fix it, blood. It's brutal and beautiful
>>582691289 What the swag did you just fucking yolo about me, you little wayne? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the SwagFags, and I’ve been involved in numerous Obey Records , and I have over 300 confirmed Swaggers. I am trained in wearing snapbacks and I’m the top poser in the entire Swagfag Army. You are nothing to me but just another No swag. I will swag you the fuck out with swagger the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking hashtags. You think you can get away with not taking pictures in the mirror over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my mom, she has alot of swag, and your ratchet ass is being traced right now so you better prepare for the yolo, nikka. The yolo that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your swag. You’re fucking dead, nikka. I can swag anywhere, anytime, and I can swag in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my baggy skinny jeans. Not only am I extensively trained in having plugs and snake bites, but I have access to the entire Hollister store. and I will use it to its full swaggness to wipe your miserable swag off the face of tumblr, you little Non trend follower. I will swag yolo all over you and you will swag in it. You’re fucking dead, nikka.
>>582691537 My day was okay. i started a new job prepping food at a restaurant near the beach, really glad it took less than a week back in my hometown to find some work. i spent most of the shift listening to my ipod while chopping up potatoes and shit, and then the chef made me a 15$ burger. now im shitposting and trying to fix my computer.
>>582690462 shit alright. I've got plenty of time on my hands, might as well make it long.
>Be me >Be 17 (not now) >Be a fucking dipshit piece of asswank who is clinically depressed, and on meds that make appetite skyrocket, therefore; >Be fyat >Sit around on comp all day, chatting up girls on facebook and failing miserably >Some random girl adds me >Le wtf, usually I am the one who adds >Go to check out her profile >holytwatsbatman.gif >8/10, great face, slammin body >Look at her age >14 >thiskillstheman.jpg >Don't think much of it otherwise, decide against chatting her up due to age difference >Business as usual, couch potato dipshit routine resumed >Over a couple of weeks, new girls start liking my posts and comment on my statuses and shit, liking my pictures even though I look like a stillborn elephant >One day get a message from her >Usual hello, how u doin, but she seems shy >Wipe spaghetti off keyboard and start to have a prolonged convo >She actually seems interested in me >istherehope.webm
forgive english, i am Russia. i come to study clothing and fashion at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American fashion and then we are kiss. We sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i fock this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM CUM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM CUM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ASS, I CUM IN ASS" and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though. I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American ass.
>>582691786 I hate all the circle jerking about Japanese cars and all the shitty bait threads on /o/ (the car board). I know I shouldn't expect anything better from 4chan, being full of weebs and trolls, but I still hate those things. I also hate Redditors.
When people start judging something when they really have no idea what they're talking about. Even if its just little shit. Like how people complain about how dumb city planning decisions are all I can think is how they don't know all of the factors that went into making this decision and how their "smart" solution fucks up so many other things.
>>582691950 >Start to have casual conversations, after a week or two, start having at least an hour long conversation each day >Turns out she attends the same school I went to (we start at 13-14 in grade 8 and finish at 15-16 in grade 10 in my country) >Which means she started there the first year I'm gone >Goddammit, the age gap doe >keep talking >Conversations turn more intimate >Then turn sexual >IsThisOK.mp3 >I decide to go for it, since I won't get another shot in the foreseeable future >"Dang, this sexting stuff is getting out of hand, if it keeps up we're gonna have to meet up irl and fuck" >Word it so I can play it off as a joke if it turns sour >It doesn't. >"Yeah, I mean.. I think I'm ready to lose my virginity, but I kinda want it to be with someone I'm in a relationship with, but I trust you so much anon, actually wouldn't mind if it was you" >Holy niggers >Plan for her to come over to my place next weekend cause my folks are out >She says yeah >I get free condoms from nurse at school >All set
>be me >take 2.5mg of 25i >see eyes everywhere >realize i will die eventually >causes a thought loop about death >i hallucinate the sound of my heart beating so fast that it bursts >freak out >think i am about to die >burn all my drugs in the fireplace >realize it was part of the trip >slap myself for burning so much quality substance.
>>582692802 >be me freshman in college >talk shit about this black guys cousin >didnt know it was her cousin >hey anon lets all go for a smoke >go smoke with these niggers >GET BOPPED >fuck muh life i run for muh life >lose my favorite pair of flip flops and my keychain which contained the key to my dorm room >sleeping that night >fuckin niggers open the door a hair see mah ass then leave >sketched out >report incident to my RA >nigger as well (the RA) >niggers gonna nig >get accused for writing nigger on this kids wall but it was his friend who did it
mfw i went to mississippi state university and the niggers there are intense :D
>>582693102 >I once made an off hand joke about having sex with an unconscious girl on holiday (I was 13 at the time) >My friends knew i was joking but i have a very dry/dark sense of humor, some girl overheard us and thought i was genuinely a rapist. Fast forward a few days and everyone around school thinks i am a rapist, a few months later a girl in my town is attacked and raped. >My name is given to the police almost immediately. I am arrested by the police at like 5am and formally questioned until someone higher up realizes that i have an irrefutable alibi and that 13 year-old kid can't possibly legally drink or have the physical strength required to subdue a 24 year old woman. >To this day that was one of the most frightening times of my life and i still get shit today for a crime i couldn't of possibly committed, all because of one shitty joke i made.
My little dog WTF? The first model of the Army, you know, the conditions of the permit is to fight al-Qaeda has killed more than 300 employees. Death struggle against the forces of good, it's a killer, I have to close all States'm. No, but as a result, eesmärk.Arengu homosexual dear surisiddalu. I am, you can not access the Internet? And you can handle. My friends in their efforts detective Rahsia IP group violence Storm Worm (Storm Worm). Click here to add a little life in the winter. Lien Death errors occurred. Responded seven percent of the allowable range. Traffic offenses, but got a little pain in the form of a King sewer and sustainable access. If smart weapons will be better than it was a really good price. But I'm not stupid, they pay now. I hope this does not matter. Your child is dead.
>>582693227 >Agree to meet her on the local bus terminal at 7pm on a saturday >Ashton Kutcher better not be there >Get there >No Ashton, and no Chris Hansen either, thank God >Just before next bus leaves, she sees me, runs over, and we get on just in time >This is the first time I actually meet her >"How about that weather, eh?" >Slightly awkward conversation, but it's going alright >Sneaking a peek at her cleavage, I see a whistle in her breast pocket >"Wus dat?" >It's a rape whistle. "Just in case, my cousin said it'd be smart" >Fair enough >We get to my place, sit down on the couch >Start talking about what we usually talk about in convos, non-sexual stuff >She actually looks better irl, 8.5/10 >Ask her if it's ok if I kiss her, all while trying to maintain spaghetti in pockets >She says yeah >Thankfully not my first kiss, only second, could've been worse >"Wanna head into the bedroom?" >"yeah"
>>582693958 this was kindof a middle school, I wasn't completely done. won't take time to explain the norwegian system.
>>582695102 >4 or 5 yrs ago >sister is bipolar cunt and steals from parents >she has a big bin of clothes in her old room >piss in bin >pick up different layers and piss underneath >parents think dog did it >mfw I ruined hundreds of dollars of that worthless bitch's clothing
>Woke up at 6:00 AM >Realized neither wife nor I had woken up to baby crying during the night. Baby slept 9 straight hours. Hallelujah. >Had sex with wife. >Got ready and went to work. >Had a vehicle today, so I spent about 4 hours on the chassis dyno taking exhaust temperature measurements. >Afternoon was mostly meetings, had a little time for data analysis. >Got home about 5:30, was wanting comfort food so I made mac and cheese for dinner. >Spent awhile playing with the baby after dinner and dishes to give my wife a break. >Got on 4chan to unwind a little.
>>582694402 I guess I'll tell a story from when I was in high school.
>be >16 >friend comes over to play some playstation >friends mom is a bitch >he does not wanna go home >tell him he can spend the night >later that night I get a text from stoner friend and asking if we wanted to get high >fuckyeah.jpg >its about 1 am now and everyone is asleep >we sneak out of a window in the basement >pop his truck into neutral and push it down my driveway >we get the truck to the end of the driveway and get in >drive to designated location >smoke the bud >really high now 'bout a 9 >drive to taco bell >"T-t-two c-c-chlupas, please" trying not to laugh >receive the order >as soon as I take the chulupa out ground up meat spills everywhere >fucking >everywhere >I proceed to wipe ground beef off my crotch for 15 minutes on the ride home >sneak back in house >sleep
>>582694640 >We head into bedroom >Messy as fuck >She doesn't seem to mind >We get on bed and continue kissing >After a while it turns into a proper make-out session >Knees weak, Palms spaghetti >Start groping around >Tits aren't that big, but they're firm enough >That fucking ass doe >Not too firm, not too soft, not too big, not too small, perfect. >Awkwardly start removing her clothes >I tip my fedora and decide to be a gentleman, so I move down and start eating her out >Nice and clean >Shaven >Didn't taste like I thought it would, but fuck whoever said it smells like fish and tastes like coins, it's not that bad >Start eating her out, I suck at it, just flailing around with my tongue >She starts moaning, so I guess I'm doing aight >Start to get real hard and horny tho >After a while, turn my head up and go "The backscratching rules state that.." >"Yeah alright" >I get off bed and on floor for an atten-hut >She gets down on her knees >Only watched porn until this point, so I just stand there with my pants on, waiting >After a few seconds she realizes I'm not gonna undo my own fucking pants, so she unzips me >Dear God, yes >Look down >Light green boxers + Precum = >Looks like I've fucking pished me pants
>>582694132 >Be me at 14 >6/10 irritable fuck >late for precalc >fuckthis.jpg >get to my locker, see friend at hers >same initial for last name so we are next to each other >fucking 2/10 fag Stan bullying her >holding her locker shut >fuck this guy >Ask if he can stop being an ass >"Oh am I in your way anon?" >blocks my locker >Irritable as fuck, lack of judgement, kick him in the nuts. >MFW fag Stan falls to the floor, unconscious >MFW I am called to the office because they had to call an ambulance >MFW I get suspended, but Principal tries recruiting me as the football team's kicker >Fag transfers the following semester
>>582696129 I'm not sure if you're trolling or just have no idea who I am, but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt. In addition to almost 7 years as a confessed meme addict, I have moderated the largest meme forum on the Internet (at over 2 million subscribers) for over a year. You think I don't know memes? In that time I have removed over 400posts for not following subreddit guidelines. In addition to my moderation responsibilities I am one of the most active writers on knowyourmeme.com. You think I don't know memes? Then how do I write articles about them on a site called knowyourmeme? Several mainstream blogs have contacted me to ask about the recent meme phenomenon and each has been thankful and enlightened with what I had to tell them. It's not just limited to blogs though. Several companies have asked me to review their meme ads to avoid a failure like Toyota's meme commercial. Just last week a major food company contacted me with a paid offer to help them on a new ad campaign. I declined when I researched the company and saw that they had contributed money to socially conservative groups. It's safe to say that I am one of the world's foremost experts on memes and in fact there is no one I can think of that has a meme resume as impressive as mine. So please tell me, what are your qualifications to say that I don't know what a meme is?
>>582695981 I believe comedy can make fun of anything for the sake of anything, such that assholes shouldn't get pissy and say "oh you're ignorant," if their race, gender, sexual orientation, or religion are made fun of. I back away from associating myself with people who do this to the point where you can't even mention it without them being bigots in their own way, even if the person would normally be an acceptable human being.
>>582696287 having a pretty shitty day feeling depressed nothing is happening with my life just playing wow while thinking about a girl that only thinks of me as a friends so yeah life is great my niggas
>>582695597 i woke up at 8 and had my girl drive me to the shops and got a coffee. At work it was a slow day, but I can still learn from watching mike cut. I mostly spent my breaks on /b/ and reading about state of decay. i told mike how i hurt my finger with a razor trying to access more keif and he laughed at me and asked me about hook ups. i rode the bus home and nobody asked me for a smoke or tried to talk to me about jesus. now i'm waiting for my girl to get off work and to talk about dinner with her.
>>582696132 >be me 15 >met first gf >she 8/10 >relationship is shit >dump her after 2 months >after a few days some of her friends call me >ohnoooooooooooo.wav >she tells me gf was cheating on me for more than 1 month >she felt guilty not telling me >after i dumped her she instantly got that guy >mfw she lost her virginity while being in a relationship with me to someone else >mfw i got cheated wif first gf
Sitting at work on phoen to my ISP/Phone provider again because they fucked up my bill Just got a $600 credit on my account so thats pretty fucking sweet. Waiting till lunch break so i can eat a Sanger
>>582696635 My most favorite thing currently is Vocaloid. When you're not worrying about keeping up with the lyrics, the music just blends together and sounds pretty good. Plus some of the songs are relate able surprisingly. Perfect background music for me.
>>582696104 >I can see that she pauses abit when she sees the stain >I go full autismo, start mumbling incoherently >"Oh, uh, that happens sometimes when the penis.." >She doesn't even seem to be listening, just rips them off to reveal my cock underneath, which doesn't do me honours due to being crushed in pants until now >I immediately start feeling self-conscious, but then I see it in her eyes >The cocklust >Immediately starts blowing me >Not like deepthroating, but focusing on the tip, she looks like she's loving it >I fucking love it too, first ever blowjob, and I didn't have to pay >She goes the whole mile on my dick >Tries do deepthroat a couple of times >Doesn't get it all the way in, even though I wasn't so big, due to slightly chubby crotch >Licks my nuts >Sweet bejebus >But I can't come like this, snap out of it >Try to say "Get on my bed, I want my dick in you" >What comes out is; "GO BED, I'LL DICK YOU" slightly loud cause feelsgoodman >She doesn't even look at me funny, just does as I say >She'll do anything I say, without judging me on being such a beta >Bless her kind heart >So we get back on the bed
>be me, 19 >go to party >meet awesome qt gril >we flirt for an hour >as i walk out she pulls me in by the shoulder and gives kissu >we agree to meet in a couple weeks at the same place >cant make it, cant contact her to tell her >never meet her again >be 3 years later >haven't kissed anyone since >tfw totally alone >tfw it could have been different
>>582697050 >be me >gf of 2 years >each others first >second year she cheats >first night in a threesome with 2 guys >second night with some other guy >tell me i rage fuck her >dont break up because stupid >realize i cant deal with this shit >get revenge on her >fuck croation girl for a month before telling her >suddenly its my fault advice: next time just leave the slut instead of getting revenge via sex
Well, shit. The first thing that comes to mind is a "music" style sadly called "funk", which has absolutely nothing to do with real funky stuff. The songs have hardly no melody and are nearly always pornographic in nature. It's fucking popular in parties and it's usually played towards the end, so women can be properly drunk and go into full-slut mode.
Worst of all, young teenagers are starting to "write" "songs" now, and those become very popular somehow. I'll just leave this here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXb51JnYivo Lyrics: There she goes Correcting my cock
Evil pussy Won't let me do anal (x3)
If you won't give me ass Then slide on the cock
Evil pussy Won't let me do anal (x3)
I'll put it in with care I promise i won't be VRAUM (??)
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