Okay /b/ I'm going to, in this thread, teach you how to APPEAR TO BE a normalfag, like everyone else except you, so society won't look at you on first impression think you're a fucking loser, you'll at least get the opportunity to prove them right with your personality, or maybe even prove them wrong.
SO TAKE A FUCKIN' SEAT, 'cause this could take a while. Gunstar's gonna get his teach on.
Okay, so first of all you gotta go off first impressons. Now I know what you're thinking;
"I don't care what others think of me, fuck those faggots." Well that's great. You wanna think that? Get out of society. If you want something from the society you're in (QT GF, good job, decent friends) you have to BE PART OF IT. You can't just sit on the sidelines complaining they aren't conforming to YOU. You gotta do a little bit of conforming. It ain't you "Selling out", or "Just changing who you are", it's just looking a bit fucking normal.
Now the first thing you gotta focus on is yourself. How many times do you shower a day? Once? That's cool. If not, fucking get a grip. Let me lay it down for you:
Wash/shower/bath: Once a day.
Brush teeth: Ideally twice, but minimum once a day.
Shaving: Beard should be SMART. Doesn't matter what length, or if you have one at all, but if it's not a FULL beard, as in just your neck and not your face, shave it or people will just instantaneously think "Eww, this guy is fucking SCRUFFY." that's men and women alike (yes, men do judge other men).
You gotta smell good, too. Why? Because it's fucking polite. So:
Anti-persperant: You're going outside? Get that shit on. You're inside all day? Relax, you don't need it.
Mouthwash: Once a day. Why? Your breath's gotta smell good.
GUNSTARS USEFUL HINTS #748423:
Buy all your toiletries (Mouthwash, Toothpaste, shaving foam, deoderant) from Pound shops/bargain shops. Why pay £20 for that shit when you can pay £5? It's just sense, /b/ro's.
Now that we have your basic personal hygiene out of the way, let's look at what you're gonna wear. You look good, and you smell good, you fucking handsome bastard, don't worry about whether you're too fat or too thin, you're hygienic, and that's what people really give a fuck about. Think people don't notice you keep clean and smell nice? They fucking do, they all do.
So next we're gonna look at what you're wearing and how you generally look.
First of all: Hair. Not short? I guess that's okay, but keep it tidy. Don't be one of these blokes with uber long scruffy hair that has nothing done with it; get it styled or even just keep it in a ponytail.
Now, I'm sorry to say that if you're the type to go out in old combat camouflage pants with a metal hoody and a leather jacket on top, you need to get a grip. You just don't dress like that. I'm gonna go over what you need.
See, what you need is a selection of clothes that don't fall into ONE social crowd, but allow you to adapt and fit into any situation.
I advise the following:
7 T-shirts. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, get ones with "Hilarious quotes" on them. Trust me, people don't want to be forced to read what you think is funny, chances are it's not funny. Get ones with your favourite bands, or just a sort of commonly known brand name. Don't be paying more than £15 per shirt here. You don't need to piss your money up the wall.
2 short sleeve shirts. Why? Can button them up to be smart, or put them on unbuttoned over a T-Shirt to be smart/casual.
An outdoorsy fleece, a SMART leather jacket (not a trenchcoat or greatcoat you fucking faggot) and a waterproof coat. You then got something for every occasion.
Two fleece/jumper types. Again, allows you to dress for anything. Smart enough to be smart and casual enough to be casual.
Thse fucks need a bit of schooling on social ettiquete. Today OP was not a fag.
2 pairs of jeans: Try and make them different if possible, you don't need to change these every day unless they're dirty, whereas with a shirt you do.
2 pairs of casual pants: You know the sort; like outdoorsy walking trousers. Just so you're not wearing jeans all the time.
2 pairs of casual trainers: One black, one white. Why? Because black and white goes with ANYTHING. I should also note, don't be paying more than £30 per pair. Seriously, I'll explain shortly.
2 pairs of leather shoes, 1 black and 1 brown. Again, for smart looks.
Now we move onto accessories.
It's easy to look like you know what the fuck you're doing here. Get a black and a brown belt, and 2 average priced watches, one black one brown. GUESS WHAT NIGGAS? We gon' colour co-ordinate that shit.
When you wear your BLACK shoes, put on your black watch and black belt. When you wear your BROWN shoes, put on your brown belt and brown watch. People notice this shit.
You can mix and match in any combination you want, all of the listed clothes. If you INSIST on wearing head gear, get yourself a smart baseball cap, but don't be one of these benders that wears it with the sticker still on it like a pretty boy mincer, you'll look like Justin Faggot Bieber. Maybe a beanie if it suits you, too.
Just remember this: DO NOT wear a hat indoors. That shit is rude. Also don't wear a coat, it looks wierd, creeping around inside wearing a coat.
Oh, and for the love of god, wear BLACK socks. Buy them in bulk for cheap. Do the same with your underwear; LOOSE boxers, none of this tighty whitey shit, they're for people who are fit and have bodies, unlike you.
Again, buy the boxers in bulk for cheapness. Again, I will explain as I said I would with the shirts.
How you look is only half the game, nigga. You can dress a jebroni up, but once you start talking to it, it's still a jebroni.
If you're awkward or weird, talk to as many people as possible and try not to over think it. Worst that can happen is someone thinks your weird, butt fuck that. Starters should try chatting up food service/sales employees - they're paid to be nice to you.
Next up, you're going to need some pants. Jeans are fine as long as they are not too tight or too baggy. Also pick up a couple pairs of khakis/chinos. Flat front, not pleated. And most of all remember not to cut a hole in the crotch to allow your balls to hang out. This is unacceptable in most business and casual situations.
Relax nigga, we're getting there, now sit down or you're in detention.
See this is IMPORTANT:
No one gives a fuck about brand names. No one. ONLY on trainers and T-Shirts do people give a fuck what they're looking at. Your Jeans, your smart shirts, your coats, NO ONE CARES, so don't invest an extra £30-£50 per item for a name no one gives a WANK about and 9 times out of ten, especially on jeans, you can't even fucking see anyway. DO NOT waste money there/ Literally, invest the extra coin you might have in T-Shirts and trainers, NOTHING else.
Now we have you dressed up smart, and clean and hygienic. Well fuck me, you don't scrub up bad, anon. I'm fucking impressed, Uncle Gunstar is fucking proud of you, because it's not easy to change. We're gonna slowly move on to how we're going to integrate you into society, once we now tweak the finer details of your hair and beard.
And don't worry, I know you're worried about interacting with society, but that's what Gunstar is here for, I'm your fucking friend, /b/, I just wanna be nice and help you out.
It's not the topic I mind, it's the downright stupid choices. At least step up from shit tier and wear tight-fitting boxer briefs and decent shoes or sneakers. If only for the ladies, who *will* notice this shit.
Interrupt again and you're going to the principle.
Okay /b/, as much as it may upset you, and you may want to deny it, first impressions are EVERYTHING.
So we're gonna look into the finer details of your hair and face.
You have acne? Relax, okay, just make sure there's no fucking big dirty whiteheads each morning and society wont judge. I know plenty of dudes with crippling acne who still get stunning babes.
Now your hair. Short back and sides are a society norm. If you're gonna have spikes, just put in a little hair gel and ruffle it about so it looks like any sort of style, but nothing so precise that it looks like you've put a shit ton of effort in. Don't put in too much gel, too, or it'll look greasy.
I advise AGAINST long hair of any kind, in honesty. If you're reading this and genuinely give a fuck about yourself, it's probably for a girl or for someone who can give you a job, both of whom prefer you with short hair. So I advise it short, or at least not below your neck, because it just looks untidy, honestly, it does.
And as for your beard, I advise NONE, but if you insist, keep it trimmed and smart, if it's even SLIGHTLY patch it, don't do it, and definitely don't just grow it on your neck.
Oh, and don't wear anything to show your obsession with anime, people don't care about anime. They're too busy having lives.
i agree with the boxer briefs. but htese neckbeards are rocking the briefs their mom bought them so they can rub up against their pillow girlfriends.
and yea, a nice pair of fine leather shoes goes a long way to getting ladies attention. as long as there is no fedora on top the head.
the two have never been mutually exclusive. and /b/s evolution has been linear. despite was everyone says it was full of as much faggotry in 2006 as it is today. and anime has taken something of a backseat to the bronie/whateverfreakshitautisticslove. but its still prevalent.
On any given hour you'll find page 1 full of anime pics
Shut up, nigga. Trainers can be ANY casual trainers, I advise basic skate shoes like Airwalks or DCs.
Anyway, you're gonna have to start integrating with society. This is the hard part, because you have no confidence. And why the fuck should you have confidence? Fuck me, you're a loser...
...Is wrong. Because you're not a loser at this point, /b/, you're a fucking decent guy, who dresses pretty good, and is clean and hygienic, and people DO notice.
The thing is, you gotta watch who you hang around with. Hanging round with NO ONE is better than hanging round with the people who you're trying not to be. I'm not saying abandon your friends, but just sort of try to be a bit more... Open minded. Don't start with things like "Oh he's a fucking jock, not speaking to him. Oh he's a hipster, not speaking to him." If someone lets on to you, just smile and nod back, don't play it cool, just be polite. If you see a girl looking at you, don't look away all shy, just give her a smile, like a nice friendly grin. Don't fucking expose your fangs to the bitch, just smile and show her you're not a psychopath.
You gotta sort of keep this routine going until eventually people will just know you as that guy who's alright. You'll be known as "That guy who's just decent." and that's what you want; if they're saying anything above "That guy who's slightly wierd" you're onto a win.
The second they say "The wierdo in the shirt with an orange haired ninja on it." it's game over and you gotta start again.
So rest assured, eventually people will start noticing you seem like a decent guy and start talking to you. You gotta look at the sort of people you're wanting to associate with, too. You wanna be friends with those guys? Do they dress smart, or casual? Don't try to emulate them, just dress in the same direction, as I say, go for smart or casual, and they'll pretty much notice and sort of subconsciously start to regard you as a human being. Then comes the fun part...
funny because I am on b for the sole reason of finding interesting threads. But I agree with most OP points. working out is dumb though. if you think every girl love buffed man, than you are wrong.
do not buy cheap shit, you'll buy twice. But the guy is right, brands don't mean shit, go for quality;
My Everyday Business Outfit when I started working 5 years ago:
My Everyday Business Outfit now
Yea, and there is a very rational reason behind that.
If one wanted to protect a certain group of people they would devise a deterrent system to keep the members protected.
Use that brain.
See, now you're in a position where you can start socialising properly, /b/. Don't try too hard; no one likes the guy who forces his shitty sense of humour on them. Just be polite, chuckle at their jokes, even if they're shit, and if they poke fun at you, just laugh and own it. Ergo:
"Like that shirt, anon, where'd you get that, out of a garbage can?"
"Yeah, I put back that one you're wearing though."
Just sort of think of things they can possibly pull you for, and have a reaction ready. You're fat? So what, be fat. You're ugly? So, so are tons of people. If you show them you have a weakness, they'll exploit it, because people are clever. But if you show them, in front of their mates, that you can actually have a laugh, they'll not want to look a dick in front of their friends, and sort of take your side to show "Yeah I'm as cool as him, too!"
You'll slowly but surely be making friends, /b/, and just think "Oh boy, I can't wait to go on /b/ later and tell Uncle Gunstar just how good I've been!" And god fucking dammit /b/ I swear to christ if you make it this far I'll try my best to somehow send my hand through the computer to high five you.
You're not suppose to get tons of chicks just being lazy-bum gray normalfag, lol. Welp, fashion-crazy nerd is not way to go too. Still think, that being based badass nerd without hygienic issues and not living with mom should be just enough
>I advise basic skate shoes like Airwalks or DCs
>I should also note, don't be paying more than £30 per pair. Seriously, I'll explain shortly.
>I should also note, don't be paying more than £30 per pair. Seriously, I'll explain shortly.
Nigga u srs?
If you're going to advise casual sneakers, at least mention a pair of Converse Hi-Tops, Ecco's or the classier Adidas models.
>wants to appear well-dressed
>calling yourself Gunstar
Yeah. By the way it's showing every two days, otherwise your skin will age and you'll appear older. Brush your teeth after each large meal, ideally three times minimum. Your advice amounts to everything who wants to take care of themselves by maintaining basic upkeep should do, but some of it isn't even accurate or explained well enough someone isn't going to misinterpret what you say or even worse follow your shit advice.
did you get out of psych class faggot? You're telling people to do things anyone with a half of brain already knows to do, it's not a big deal and doesn't need to be explained in more than one post. Get over yourself kid, you're not doing anyone a favor.
>working out is dumb though. if you think every girl love buffed man, than you are wrong
That wasn't the point. It's not to get buff. The point is to have a healthy body and to be confident with yourself
It has nothing to do with women or getting "buffed out". If you're healthy and fit, you look better, feel better and are generally happier. It's good for you and it makes you feel good about yourself.
Getting women from it is only a side benefit, and you still need game to get women. If you think nearly any women prefers a stick or a fattie, you're wrong.
nobody says this, this isn't how real works. nobody is going to call you uncle gunstar, you're typing out your ass and obviously have the wrong impression of everyone here. cringe.
Ignore these guys, /b/, because they don't know where exactly you are. They're the sort of helmets who you're gonna deal with gobbing off at you when you're trying to be a normalfag. But really they're just sad fucking losers, who are trying to bring you down to their insecure level. Trust me, they are fucking losers, I mean christ, they're criticising someone trying to help someone with no social etiquette at all, when in actuality, the very thing they are doing shows they need to be following this shit.
Anyway, now that people are paying attention to you, or even if you're still in the "That quiet guy who's alright" phase, it's time to have a slightly more improved lifestyle.
NOW CHILL, I know what you're thinking, but relax.
What you're gonna do is go out WHERE AND WHEN YOU KNOW THERE'LL BE NO ONE YOU KNOW and just do a 30 minute jog 2 times a week. It's nothing, and it will make a HUGE difference. You'll feel better in yourself, and it's not a lot of exercise. At all. But the difference it makes to you will be enormous. You'll feel good after it as you'll get what is called "A runners high", it's where the endorphins released to quell the strain you feel from running linger after you've finished, and you feel fucking awesome.
Then when you're sat with some dude, or better yet some QT and they talk about how thye enjoy running you can MODESTLY say "I do a couple of jogs a week but I'm not too good, I'd love to be better at it..." they'll take an interest, because you have a SHARED INTEREST. And that's what you want; a SHARED INTEREST.
And I don't mean your MLP or whatever fucking porn shit you're into, just normal things; exercise, music, TV, whatever, just talk. As long as you're modest, and don't be an annoying little show-offy cunt, people will take to you.
>teach you how to APPEAR TO BE a normalfag
You're about 8 years l8 to this, m8. All the non-normalfags are far gone from /b/. Current /b/ is all normalfags arguing about whether anything 99% of people aren't into is "fedora", "neckbeard", or "euphoria".
If you want someone this will be useful to, take your advice to /r9k/
Yeah but at which point do I get to firmly shake hands with random people and squeeze myself into a group where I let out a massive fart and then stare at people while maniacally whispering "I bet the jews did this"?
>When you wear your BLACK shoes, put on your black watch and black belt. When you wear your BROWN shoes, put on your brown belt and brown watch. People notice this shit.
Metrosexuals notice this shit. Real niggers don't give a fuck what color belt you wear and watches are for faggots too.
Dear Uncle Gunstard,
My friend says it's ok for me to jerk off into an old sock if it's all I can find in the moment, but says it's not ok for me to wear that sock around on my hand for the rest of the week and show it to people. I say he's wrong and it's what makes me unique. What do you say?
this is the only shoe I wear sans dress shoes or boots for special occasions. I'm a lab tech so im on my feet all the time and they're nice and cozy without the bulk.
My current pair is 4 years old without any holes. I also have a black and a brown pair somewhere but these are my go to because they go with everything.
Brotip to people trying to look regular: You'll look like a major faggot if you wear skate shoes or running/basketball shoes with pants, especially khakis like the civilized world wears. No one wears jeans (unless they are black, tan, or grey) and NO ONE wears running or hiking shoes to work. Maybe some tasteful Morel's but that's it.
See, now you're getting it.
Now, your behaviour.
Your behaviour is important. And it's little things. You can't start talking like you do on the internet. People will think you're a fucking DICK. You need to keep your opinions TO YOURSELF. I promise you, if you start mouthing off about something such as a political opinion, or bands you think are shit, you're gonna lose friends. Just sort of nod and smile at people who say they hate things. Don't agree, but don't disagree, either. Voice positive opinions about everything, or don't voice an opinion at all. ESPECIALLY about people.
See, if people hear you slagging someone off, they think you're someone who slags people off. If all you do is, behind peoples backs, say good things, people will talk about you when you're not there by saying things like "Yeah anon, he was saying you're a decent bloke." or "Yeah, anon likes that, too." it projects an air of positivity about you, people want to talk to somebody positive, not a whiny little bitch.
And if you don't like anything they like? That's fine, just le tthem talk about shit they like. Engage them, ask the occasional question to get them to continue talking about the subject. Hell, they'll love it, you're sat listening to them! "Wow, my other friends don't normally give a fuck about this, anon." and you just smile politely and say "I don't really mind, I don't know much about it so it's decent to actually understand it."
It's all about being modest and unassuming. Not the sort of shithouse that gobs off about how shit everything is just because things don't work out how you like them. Which brings us onto: Your personal outlook on life.
I'm gonna take a moment to point out something a lot of people in here are missing:
This is NOT going to make you a cool, popular, funny, charismatic, stylish winner of life.
This is just going to STOP you being a fucking loser, wierd faggot that people look at and are instantaneously disgusted by, and adds the scope for you to potentially move to just a decent guy who people think is alright. Not the centre of the party, but hey, at least you got a fucking invite.
I'm 22 yo skinny asian with long hairs. Somewhat close to Aoki in terms of appearance. Recently moved to new city w/o any decent clothes with me, still got no time to get my look slick, too busy with low-level 24/7 it-monkey work to go shopping. And don' wanna spend on my wardrobe more than 2500 USD. Personally, prefer big-sized hoodies, wide jeans and whatever-it-looks-but-must-be-comfy shoes. Got no problems with ladies, but hell, it's hard to find decent-looking stuff that is comfortable to wear and not to catch a cold in russian winters.
Dear Uncle Pleb.
I cannot help but to notice that some people do not enjoy my fiery stare rape. I see into peoples souls and usually proceed to I mentally molest them over a distance. Generally to the point where they fall on the ground and grab their ass crying loudly. So far I've mentally raped atleast 371 women, 71 men and 3 dogs. However this is not enough, my penis is not pleased and I feel it deserves something better. After having a casual chat with my fellow rapists I heard that one of them is in posession of spirit dick projection skill. Such skill would be more than enough to fill my needs for now. So my question is as follows:
How would I project it, and should I be extra careful when using this new skill against feminists?
well, aren't you just a steaming pile of faggot
HOLY FUCKING SHIT DC'S!!!?!??
YOU HAD ME FUCKING GOING MATE BUT THIS IS ABSURD
IM ACTUALLY SO FUCKING TAKEN ABACK AND JUST FLABBERGASTED TO THE POINT WHERE IM RAGE TYPING BECAUSE OF YOUR FAGGOTT ASS. HOLY SHIT DC'S?!?!?!?!?!? LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
DUDE SEND ME TO PRINCIPAL, ID RATHER GET CANED BY A PERVY OLD GUY THAN LISTEN TO YOUR SHITE
O autism doesn't mean bad, trust in that.
It was impressive with his performance.
Remember that good old song, "girls just wanna have fun"
He looks like he knows how to party.
I only hope his head is screwed on properly.
See, /b/, you gotta be happy. In yourself.
Simple fact of the matter is this: Everything that happens in your life is 100% YOUR fault. So if good shit goes down, it's because YOU made it go down. If bad shit goes down, again, it's on you. It's easy to do the following;
"YEAH BUT MY MUM AND DAD DIN'T LOVE ME ENOUGH AN-"
Shut the fuck up right there. Plenty of successful people come from shit families, so don't give me that crap. You gotta MAKE things work for you. If you're reading this and following it, that's what you're doing. You're NEVER so far gone that you can't change, you just gotta do it.
If people know you as a loser, and you manage to change, even better, because they'll SEE you changing. They'll notice. They'll start to see that you're becoming a decent person, while these cocky pieces of shit plateau, and they're the coolest they're going to be because they've stopped trying.
YOU, however, by actively changing will overtake them, because you're not a lazy dipshit who can't be bothered anymore. You're going to try, because you have a "Can-do" outlook, and it's working. They're noticing, and they're scared of you. They know what's coming, so let them have their time, /b/.
They have what, 5 years. You have the rest of your fucking life after that, when they're some wierd old fuck wearing a tracksuit in the local bar, asking you if they can borrow a tenner. And you know what you say, /b/?
"Sorry, I'm out of change." and walk on. Don't even be nasty to them, because I promise you, it's an infinitely better feeling to just be polite and walk on because not only do you know that you're better, THEY know, and it'll fucking DEVASTATE them.
"Fuck me, anon, I remember when you were just a fat loser at school!"
"Haha, yeah! How's it going, bud?"
The unspoken sentence is: "Like me, now, so I'll bring that up because it's literally all I have,"
Is someone saving this thread?? I need screen shots to post in the next cringe thread
>literally what the fuck
OP just kill yourself you're not fooling anyone into thinking you're "normal" and have anything at all to teach us lmao
>Pic related, OP at his computer typing this shit out
been there, done that, APPEARING normal is no big deal but keeping up an act gets you nowhere, people are attracted to the persona you create and then when you have moments of sincerity they look at you like you're crazy so if you want to play 'normal' then you have to be in it for the long haul, im sure a fake life is fine for most people but i aint got time for that.
Um I don't fucking care what people think about me, if you have that less confidence that you need to put up a mask to compensate then that's good for you. You're not some samaritan or special, you don't know shit, stop pretending like you are something, you are a nobody.
No but I will say, I haven't gone running since high school/entry-college.
Nike Pegasus were pretty damn good running shoes and they got about 12-15 miles a day.
Doubtful that'll happen for sometime again.
Yeah but what if you got kidnapped, ass fucked, tortured and mutilated to the point where you had no limbs, eyes, lips, tongue nor the ability to hear?
and also you had severe burns everywhere on your body.
I would like to offer the suggestion that you chronic masturbators keep your disfigured fapping claw in your pocket like such
See, /b/. I was like the losers here, once.
Albeit, a long time ago now, but I was. I promise you the advice I give is still relevant. Obviously, as it's /b/, plenty of people will criticise. And so they should; they're scared. But remember, Gunstar isn't here to judge. Look at the results and see for yourself. From LITERALLY no friends, people thinking I was an anime loser wierdo creepo, to plenty of friends.
I promise you, this works. You don't have to do it, class, but if you do, the results speak for themselves. I love you /b/, as you've given me so much, and if all I can give in return is a tiny bit of advice on how to turn your life around, then that's all I can give, and you know what? I'll fucking give it.
Is OP a faggot? Of course he is, OP is always a faggot. But today, OP is a faggot who did something nice for /b/.
Any questions before class is dismissed?